Stop Digging Through the Trash

You let it go for a reason.

So why are you still tempted to go back?

In this powerful episode of The Life Diet 365, we're confronting one of the biggest obstacles to personal growth: returning to the very people, habits, mindsets, and situations we've already decided no longer belong in our lives.

Whether it's a toxic relationship, an unhealthy habit, an old version of yourself, or a painful chapter you've worked hard to close, it's easy to let loneliness, nostalgia, or fear convince you that what once hurt you somehow deserves another chance.

But healing isn't just about letting go—it's about resisting the urge to pick it back up.

Join me as we explore why we romanticize the past, how emotional "trash picking" keeps us stuck, and practical action steps to help you protect your peace, honor your progress, and keep moving forward with confidence.

Because your future isn't waiting for you in yesterday's garbage.

It's waiting for you to stop digging through the trash.

Transcript

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Well we're back to another episode Amazing. Do you keep picking it back? The Life Diet365. Why do we keep going back? Podcast, I'm your host. In this episode of The Life Diet365, today I'm talking about one of the biggest obstacles, the unpersonal kit list. Returning to the very series that we did. Habits, and behaviors. Digging through already decided. Just because you miss it, we're unhappy. You need it back. Whether it was a toxic relationship, a drainage and reach for an old mindset or destructive habit. Many of us find ourselves. We don't need it. Open it has something like a comfy cum or a trash blanket or comfy. Today we'll explore why we might visit whatever. What we've already released. Something that makes us nostalgia can distort reality and practical steps to keep moving forward. So with how to look back. Imagine miss it. Doesn't it mean you need to get the garbage out? You're already ready for the through trash folks to pick it up. Let's get started. And the truck has already come. The trash has been picked up, and the garbage truck is already driving down the street. Now imagine chasing that garbage truck down the street because you suddenly decided you wanted something back. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Yet emotionally, many of us do exactly that. We go back to relationships that broke us. We revisit habits that nearly destroy our peace. We reopen doors that God, wisdom, or experience has already closed. And let me just say something here. If God closes a door, don't you go back over there trying to pull that door open, putting your feet against the wall, trying to pull that, because he closed that door for a reason. So let it stay closed. We keep digging through emotional trash, hoping we'll find something different. And we're not, because as long as we've held on to that rubbish, nothing changed. So why do we think once we throw it away, something just may change? Why do we go back? We don't usually go back because something changed. We go back because something inside of us is uncomfortable. You know, you're feeling like you're missing something. I almost gave an example, but I said that wouldn't be a good example because only women would be able to relate to that. Um, so we we we go back because something inside of us is uncomfortable, like you just feel like something just doesn't feel right. And sometimes it's loneliness, fear, guilt, or familiarity. The familiar often feels safer than the unknown. Even when the unfamiliar, even when the familiar is unhealthy. I'm always going to repeat something because this this is a diamond drop right here. The familiar often feels safer than the unknown. Like when we don't know something, that causes us to have to trust. It causes us to have to have faith. But if we stick with the familiar, even when it's bad for us, at least we know where the bumps are. It's almost like taking a shortcut somewhere. And that shortcut has like a thousand potholes. Whereas the road that's really smooth, um, it may take you 10 minutes longer. But you're like, I can shave off 10 minutes. I'll try to dodge these potholes because I know where they are. That's what we do uh when we get rid of trash, whether it's a person, a place, or a thing. We say, okay, I know how to navigate um through that. And so when we keep digging through the emotional trash, hoping we'll find something different, and we're not. Um, if it belonged in the trash yesterday, there's a good chance that it still belongs there today. T A D A Y. T A H D A Y. Today. And so maybe, you know, we start, we try to convince ourselves, you know, well, maybe they've changed, or maybe that wasn't so bad. I mean, it really wasn't as bad as it could be. Then you try to start comparing it with other people. So-and-so is in a much worse situation, or they had it even worse. At least this isn't. Mm-mm. Nope, nope, nope. It's trash, it's trash, y'all. And then we then we may even attempt to put the blame on ourselves. Well, maybe I was overreacting, maybe I was in a bad mood that day. That's why I reacted the way I did, or I threw it away. And maybe I should just give it one more chance. If it doesn't work this time, I'm absolutely gonna throw it away. But how many times did you say you were gonna absolutely throw it away? Now, just let me be clear about something. I do believe, I'm a firm believer, that people can grow, relationships can heal, and forgiveness is necessary and it's real. But this episode isn't about healthy reconciliation, it's about repeatedly returning to what's constantly harmed you without any evidence that anything has truly changed. So that's the conversation I'm speaking to. I'm speaking to the things that um become delusional, like we're gonna give it a third, fourth, fifth, and fiftieth chance. Nope, nope, nope. That's not what we're doing today. So let me just run through five things that we keep pulling out of the trash. And the one that's at the top of the list are toxic relationships. And I've said this before: toxic relationships are just not dating relationships, they are relationships with your family. Your parents could be toxic, your spouse could be toxic, your siblings could be toxic. Their family is not excluded from toxicity. And sometimes we we miss the person, we miss the routine, or we simply miss not being alone. Loneliness can make us forget why we walked away. And that's how some people end up back in troubled dating relationships because they don't want to be alone. It's always want to feel like they have, they always want to feel like they have someone. We remember the good moments and minimize the sleepless nights, the broken trust, the manipulation or the disrespect. We should never ever minimize or dismiss disrespect. Because if you disrespect you twice. Because once, maybe they didn't realize it, but twice and beyond, nope, it becomes a habit. It's gonna be a habit of disrespect. And so missing someone isn't proof um that they belong in your future, and sometimes it simply means you're grieving what you hoped the relationship would be, you're grieving what you thought the situation would be, you're grieving that. So when you look at the definition of grief, grief is not always just uh uh associated with a deceased person, it's it's space, it's energy. You're grieving that missed energy. Uh, another thing that we keep pulling out of the trash are old versions of ourselves. Now, this can be a good thing or a bad thing, um, but the old versions of ourselves that we got rid of, the person that's rude, that's negative, that's toxic, that doesn't know how to befriend, or that person you don't want to be anymore. Sometimes we're not trying to get another person back, we're trying to be someone we no longer need to be. You know, we talked about it before the people pleaser, the overachiever. Um, this person thinks that rest is a weakness, the person who accepted less than and deserved just to avoid conflict. That person you're trying to get back. Growth can feel unfamiliar. We return to old behaviors simply because they're comfortable. Here's where I raise my hand. I'm guilty. I can go back to habits that feel comfortable. And sometimes, and let me put this right here, because I can relate to this. Sometimes we stay on jobs that's not good for us. We stay because it's comfortable. We stay because we know the routine, we know the people, we have may have flexibility or we convince ourselves the benefits are worth staying. Um even though someone's they don't value you. So that is something to consider as well as well. And don't trade your healing for familiarity. Don't trade your growth for familiarity. Don't trade the fact that you, you know, that you you need to have peace for the fact that you don't want to be lonely. Here's the other one: negative thinking. You know, our minds have habits too, and sometimes it can get away from us, and we don't even realize that that train is going straight downhill until we have to say, Whoa, Nelly, stop the madness. And if you're the person, or if even if you've been around people who spent years, you know, you criticizing yourself and expecting disappointment all the time or assuming the worst. And this could be something you do, or it could be something that the people in your life do. Those thoughts become familiar pathways. So you get used to saying, Oh, that's not gonna work, or I'm just used to things not happening for me, or good things never happen to me. Well, they can if you would quit thinking and thinking negatively, and then before long, you aren't just remembering negative experiences experiences, you are rehearsing them. You marching down the aisle, clapping and singing to those negative things in your head. Healing requires interrupting those thought patterns instead of replaying them. So if you catch yourself falling to like negativity and disappointment or those old thought patterns, remind yourself, nope, God has so much better for me. He has so much more for me. And you have to think about how far you've come. You don't want to go backwards, so you keep moving forward. Unhealthy habits, you know, it could be emotional eating, overspending, procrastination. That is mine. That is a very unhealthy habit of mine. And sometimes it's just constantly saying yes. Here we go back to that, yes, because toxicity starts with always saying yes. Always saying yes. Um, and stress often tempts us to return to what once brought us relief because temporary comfort is not the same as lasting peace. Temporary comfort is not the same as lasting peace. You know, it's kind of like when you you put on these shoes and you know that you needed a nine and a half and you got a nine, but you're like, I'm only gonna walk in these for a little bit, but now you're uncomfortable, and then you get a bunion on your tail. Was that worth it? Strange example, but some folks can probably relate to that. Unrealistic expectations. And sometimes we're digging through the trash looking for the life that no longer exists. Um, you know, it could be uh something like a career we thought we'd have, or you know, a marriage that we imagined and see that whole print charm and the Cinderella thing got us all mixed up because we're just supposed to think life is supposed to be happily ever after. And it doesn't happen that way. Maybe I'll do an episode on that. Um, you know, a friendship that ended or dreams that changed. You know, sometimes life can cause, um can turn some things upside down, and the life that we planned or the dreams that we had may not happen the way that we initially thought about them. We have to be open to the shift in life. And is there there comes a point where we stop mourning what might have been and begin embracing what still can be. That goes for people, it goes for habits, it goes for just about anything. And and that's why it's called trash. I mean, think about this. We don't throw things away because they have a great value to us, we throw them away because they become broken, they don't have any use, it has no value, it's expired, damaged, or they no longer belong in our lives. It's as simple as that. Doesn't mean that there weren't any good memories attached to it, it doesn't mean that there wasn't once value. It simply means the season has changed. When we get into the winter season, and I find in my closet there's a very nice pair of shorts that I didn't get to wear in July. Doesn't mean that the shorts aren't good for me, just means it's not for that season. Well, I guess it depends on where you live, but where I live, no, no, no shorts. And so always asking you to take that gaze at yourself and look in the mirror because that's the person you have to face every day, anyway. And that's the person that you're wanting to change, and that's the only person you have the control to change. And you ask, what have I been tempted to pick back up? I already know isn't healthy for me. And you gotta be honest. Is it a person? Is it a habit? Is it a mindset? Is it a is it a dream? Healing isn't proven by what you throw away, it's proven by what you stop picking back up. So quick action steps, um, very quick ones. You'll have to go back and write them down, name your trash, you know, write down one thing you've already let go of, but still find yourself going back to it. What is that thing that you keep kind of going back to? It could be a person, it could be a habit. I don't know. Be specific. Um, because this is for your growth. You you can't stop revisiting what you refuse to identify. So put it on paper. Don't try to keep it in your head, put it on paper or do an audio text, I mean an audio recording. Uh, remember why you let it go. You know, our our memories become selective. So we try to pick and choose the good things or the things that serve us. But how about writing down every reason you walked away and don't try to romanticize it and make it like this novel in your head? You know, don't try to rewrite history, tell yourself the truth. This is only you're gonna see this. This is just for you. Um, and whenever you're tempted to go back, read the list instead of relying on your emotions. Facts make better decisions than feelings. So this is gonna be a good one. This remember why you let it go. Identify your trigger. Um, what makes you want to go back? Is it the loneliness? Is it the stress? Is it boredom? Is it fear? Um is it whatever? You know, understanding your trigger helps you to prepare instead of react. Replace, just don't remove. I talked about that in the um the second, the part two of the unbucket list. Uh, nature, nature hates empty space, so anytime there's a space you haven't noticed with weeds and grass, wherever there's a space, something's gonna pop up through there. And so the same thing happens with your life. If you've ended a toxic friendship or relationship, invest in healthier ones. If you stopped doom scrolling, as I talked about in toxic uh social media, uh read a book, take a walk, call someone who encourages you or find something that encourages you. Don't just remove unhealthy patterns, replace them with life-giving ones. Protect your progress. Don't minimize the baby steps that you're taking. Um, because to you on a grand scheme, it may seem like nothing is happening, but if you keep up with your progress, then you know that something is happening. You know, boundaries are are not punishments, it's a protection. You know, block numbers if necessary. If you don't want to talk to people, block, you know, or whatever. However, they're coming through, you block them. Delete apps, change routines, avoid environments that keep pulling you backward, protect backwards. Protecting your peace isn't being dramatic, and don't let anybody try to convince you of that. And don't you convince yourself of that? It's being intentional. Celebrate your forward steps. That's my favorite one. That's the one we need to focus on. We're gonna celebrate our forward steps. No matter what little steps you take, celebrate them. Um, and just you just don't say, Well, you know, why did I stay so long? You just say, How how far have I come? Because if you focus on how you know how long you stay, you're gonna take yourself down a depressed rabbit hole. Celebrate every decision that moves you closer to the person that you're becoming. Applaud yourself. I'm applauding you already. Um, so before we go, we're gonna do a bucket check. So, one, what have I been tempted to retrieve from the trash? Why am I still attached to it? What would my future self thank me for leaving behind today? What would my future self thank me for leaving behind today? Sometimes the greatest acts of self-love isn't adding something new to your life, it's refusing to reclaim what almost broke you. And as we close out today's episode, you know, just remember garbage collectors never come back to ask you if you've changed your mind. I ain't never seen them garbage men keep moving because they on a time schedule. They don't ever come back and knock on the door and ask you if you're sure, you want to throw this trash away. They simply keep moving forward. And that's your lesson today. Keep moving forward. Stop chasing what was meant to leave, stop romanticizing what stole your peace. Stop convincing yourself that broken things will suddenly become healthy simply simply because enough time has passed. We're gonna leave that alone. There's a reason your windshield is bigger than your rear view mirror. That's not my statement. I've heard it dozens of times before. Your life was designed to move forward. Stop digging through the trash. Your future isn't buried there. So, until next time, this is the Life Diet 365, reminding you that every time you refuse to pick up what no longer serves you, you make room for the life you were always meant to live. And I want you to remember this: you don't have to carry yesterday's garbage into tomorrow's possibilities. And I want you to do a 24-hour challenge. So after you kind of go through all this, you write your list and you determine your triggers and remember why you let things go. 24 hours of you know, 48 hours. Um, if you were tempted to do that, attempted to reach back to that person or that habit or that painful memory, you got to ask yourself, why am I reaching back and why am I digging through the trash? That one question creates a pause between the impulse and the decision. And that pause is often where the healing begins. This has been another episode of the Life Diet 365 podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you can get your notifications and subscribe on wherever you listen to this podcast and share with your friends, share with at least five people. You know, people who are driving in the car, they can listen to these uh brief episodes, and I hope that you will come back. I'm looking forward to us getting together again. Take care. Bye-bye. And just like that, another conversation, another perspective, and hopefully another step toward reclaiming yourself. Listen, every time you say yes to everybody else at the expense of yourself, you are teaching people that your boundaries are negotiable. Listen, constantly sacrificing yourself to keep everybody else comfortable will eventually leave you emotionally bankrupt. You do not have to earn rest, apologize for protecting your peace, or explain every boundary you set. Because around here, we don't say no with guilt, we say it with clarity. Until next time, protect your peace, guard your energy, and remember, what drains you will never sustain. This has been the Life Diet365 Podcast with Mr. Great Talk. Thanks for listening, and I hope you will subscribe and join me the next time. Take care. Bye.