Ep 15: ☎️ On the Phone | Jen Cote

Hopping On The Phone with Jen Cote from episode 14, where we talk Friendship and Menopause. On this call Jen corrects a misspeak, shares a text from her friend and asks Rachel the question she has been getting a lot lately, "Have you talked to your friend."

Thank you for listening!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello. Hey Jen, it's Rachel. Oh, hey, how are you? I'm good, friend. How are you? I'm great. I wanted to thank you and Margaret so much for hopping on the Best Friend Project podcast. In re-listening to the episode, I was blown away by the impact of menopause on friendship. But what were your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Well, we just we loved it because we enjoyed talking with you, and we just really enjoyed this perspective on friendship. So I really think you've uncovered something that we hadn't considered. And our friends loved it. Where our group text was blowing up. I received messages from people as well, which is really sweet. I want to read you real quick one of my friends in our group text, which is once in a while, one of them will go in and change the group name. And right now, and it's called the Bituation Room. And my friend Amy said, I finally listened to it last night. It was incredible. I love the host. She is so natural and you fit right in. I loved hearing about your origin story with her, Jen. She nailed you spot on. And then she goes on to say, um, the three of you flowed so well and had such positive, lovely messages to share, and of course, funny ones. I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

So oh, I love that. That's very wonderful to hear. And I'm glad that not only did she enjoy it, but it sounds like she got a couple little nuggets out of it as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah, you know, I think anyone that listens to this is going to take something away from it. It is such a good reminder that Menopause era is it's hard enough. And so just showing each other a little bit of grace, I think, was a really good reminder and takeaway for us.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

You know, and I want to say too that like doing this work, doing this podcast is hard for me. Like meeting people like you, uh, these conversations are really enjoyable and fun and things like that. But it's not unusual for me to turn off my camera and just burst into tears sometimes. Um, because like I miss my friend. Like I fucking miss her every day. And this is so dumb, and I'm so disappointed in both of us that we are where we are. But when we had our conversation, you and me, Margaret, about menopause, I was like, well, no shit. We're snapping at each other, we're irritable, we're internalizing stuff, not for nothing. We're both going through menopause. She was at a not very comfortable place in her marriage, probably because of menopause. At the same time, I'm getting married.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

You know, and I look back and I'm like, it all feels so obvious in hindsight, you know?

SPEAKER_01 2:37

No.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

And it's just so helpful to be having these conversations and talking about this because it's like, God damn it, I wish I had known that and been able to say, like, hey, wait a minute, we're both going through a chemical castration. Maybe we should just take a break. Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

You can see how it would strain a relationship. So I think maybe if this was happening to you right now with your relationship with her, you might have been like, oh, wait a minute, and recognize that there are other factors at play, just not one thing that maybe you thought blew it up because it wasn't that one thing, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:14

I mean, yeah, or if I had heard this podcast leading up to this, I would have been like, oh, hang on a minute, you know.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

And when talking about brain fog, there's we loved the podcast. We thought it was lovely. You and Margaret are so eloquent. I'm definitely like a little bit of a hurricane, uh, talking too fast and too much. And my word recall and my brain fog has been pretty significant. So you would ask a question about we wrote something funny in the book about you know, menopause having a rebranding. And I said that yes, menopause was rebranded in 2014. But menopause, the word itself, I just want to clarify, has been around forever. It was called like senile vaginitis. So that's what we were joking around. So menopause has been around forever. The word's been around forever. They switched it in 2014 to call to the GMS. And um, we'll see. Maybe I would love to know if they're gonna switch it again to something else.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Okay, I mean, like what we call what's up with the menopause marketing team that I've never heard of GMS.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

I think we should have a campaign for another rebranding of the name.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Okay, here's the deal. Whoever changed your group text to the bituation room, I think should be in charge of whatever the new menopause is because didn't you say that she had changed groups? Yeah, so she had changed text.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah, one of my friends, they all take turns changing it. So one of them changed it to the bituation room, but before that, someone had changed it to the clitorati.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

So I'm I love your friends. I'm so jealous. I wish that I okay. I do have friends, by the way. So I have to stop me. We don't have friends. And I love my friends, and I'm and you are a wonderful friend. I have group texts, all that kind of stuff. I just, yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

You just you're really heartbroken about this one particular friendship.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Yeah, and getting her breakup text was one thing, but then the ghosting was another thing, and then the non-apology was another thing, and it yeah, it was pretty it was I would just say that we're catastrophic. I mean, because it's just so I'm so disappointed in both of us.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Would you ever reach back out to her?

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Uh did I reach back out to her?

SPEAKER_01 5:27

No, have you ever thought about trying to reach back out to her?

SPEAKER_00 5:31

All the time, but no, like I no, I've nothing. I'm no, I have nothing to say. You don't, okay. Nope.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Uh it's so hard.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

I'm sorry, it's unsettling.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Yeah, and maybe someday I will, but I get mad all over again when I think about it. Like, right when you asked me that, I regressed instantly to a teenager. And I was like, no, I have nothing to say. Like, I mean, literally, I can smell the school cafeteria right now. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. I have so much work to do. Oh God, we all do. I'm doing it, and um I'm doing it safely with people like you, and I appreciate that so much. And I'm bummed that I won't see you at the next shine away event because Reese is not having it, but hopefully we can find another woman's conference or something, or just you know, create our own little adventure weekend or something down the road.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

That would be really fun.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

I just feel like so attached to all the people I interview. Like I would love to meet all of them in person.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

So I'm attached to them. I think like I mean, I go on and I watch them and I listen to them, and now I follow them, and I just they're all it's all interesting. And that's the one thing. And I think you and I are sort of kind of in the same spot in our journey a little bit as far as when we started and stuff, is as overwhelming and hard, and all the information we're trying to do and learning the technology. The biggest ray of sunshine, no pun intended, is the connections in the women we're meeting. Yeah, the real woman, like meeting real women that actually want to build each other up is outstanding.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Yeah, yeah. And hustlers, hustlers. No, I can see you distinctly walking across that room, and I was like, she's my people. Like on the mission. And I love that, like being surrounded by women on mission. I really appreciate how much you engage with my content and you know, vice versa, and things like that. So it um it does mean the world to me. So thank you, and thank you for sharing your your audience with me and your friends, and um tell Amy I said what's up.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

I will. Good friend.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Well, thanks for hopping on the phone with me.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Have a good rest of the weekend.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Take care, dear. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Bye.