EP 136: Rewriting Your Story — From Approval to Self-Loyalty with Lauretta Zucchetti

In this episode of Thriving in Intersectionality, Dr. Lola Adeyemo sits down with speaker, author, former Apple and Xerox sales executive, and transformational coach Lauretta Zucchetti for a deeply personal conversation about identity, self-worth, resilience, and the courage to rewrite the stories we've inherited about ourselves.

Growing up in Italy, Lauretta learned early how family dynamics, cultural expectations, and childhood experiences quietly shape the way we see ourselves. As an immigrant who later built an extraordinary corporate career in the United States—including becoming one of Xerox's top sales representatives and working with Apple Computer International—she discovered that external success does not always heal internal wounds.

Together, Dr. Lola and Lauretta explore how early conditioning influences our confidence, relationships, leadership, and career choices. They discuss the hidden pursuit of approval, rebuilding after profound personal loss, and the lifelong journey of choosing authenticity over expectation.

This conversation isn't simply about reinvention.

It's about finding the courage to stop living someone else's story and becoming the author of your own.

In This Episode, We Discuss

•  Growing up in Italy and navigating traditional gender expectations 
•  Building a successful career as an immigrant in the United States 
•  Rising through Xerox and Apple Computer International 
•  How childhood conditioning shapes adult decisions 
•  The difference between seeking approval and practicing self-loyalty 
•  Rebuilding after adversity and personal loss 
•  Confidence, authenticity, and leading from alignment 
•  Why success without self-worth can still feel empty 
•  Breaking inherited patterns and limiting beliefs 
•  Choosing a future that reflects who you truly are 

About the Guest

Lauretta Zucchetti is an international speaker, author, transformational coach, and former sales leader with Xerox and Apple Computer International. Drawing on her background in international business, transpersonal psychology, and lived experience, she helps women break free from limiting beliefs, reclaim their self-worth, and create lives aligned with who they truly are.

After rebuilding her life through extraordinary personal and professional challenges, Lauretta now speaks and coaches globally on authenticity, resilience, self-loyalty, and personal transformation. Her work encourages women to stop earning their right to belong and instead embrace the life they are meant to live.

Learn more about Lauretta and her work:

🌐 https://laurettazucchetti.com

Connect with Lauretta on LinkedIn

Reflection Question

Where in your life are you still seeking approval when what you really need is self-loyalty?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello and welcome to the Thriving in Intersectionality Podcast. A podcast that explores the real experiences of professionals navigating the workplace with layered lead identities. I'm your host, Dr. Lola Ateemo, the CEO of EQI Mindset and founder of the non-profit Immigrants Incorporate Inc. I'm also an author, speaker, and a workplace inclusion strategist. I work with organizations to build communities of belonging through strategy, storytelling, and systems change. This podcast amplifies the voices of professionals from intersectional backgrounds, immigrants, ethnic minorities, first-gen professionals, veterans, working parents, individuals with disabilities, and so many more. Through solo reflections and guest conversations, we'll uncover the eating challenges, celebrate the wins, and offer insights to help you thrive, not just survive, in the corporate world. Because in today's global workforce, belonging isn't just a bonus, it's the catalyst for real growth and impact. Let's dive in. Alright everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Thriving in Intersectionality Podcast. Before I bring in my guest for today, as always, I'm going to start with a little bit about intersectionality. What does that word mean? Intersectionality itself is a framework that recognizes how multiple aspects of our identity, such as gender, culture, upbringing, immigration experiences, lived experience, and really all of our own personal history, how everything overlap and intersect in such a way that it creates very unique experiences for every one of us that shapes how we navigate and lead in the world. It's like we see the highlight of people's life, really, and and the goal, the the through line for this podcast is to get a little bit about the behind the scene so you know why people do what they do. Because for most people, it's not a single story, it's multiple layers. And and so I love exploring that topic uh through the lens of my guests, but I also came into the word itself through the work of Dr. Kimberly Crensher, who is still very much doing a lot of work around intersectionality, so highly, highly encourage for anyone interested in um reading more about that word to check out um our work. All right. Um, my guest today is Lor Loretta Zucchetti. I was I was um I was trying to say the Italian way, I probably didn't say it right. I will let us say great job. I know, great to have you, Loretta. Loretta is a speaker and author, helping women unlearn what they were taught to be so they can become what they actually are and create the life they deeply desire. And I love that our work sits at that intersection of identity, self-trust, and conscious choice. Loretta has an uh as a background in international sales, leadership training, and transpersonal psychology. She's worked with a lot of great companies like Apple, Computer, Um, International, and Xerox, and she spent decades lived in the trenches of real life that she brings into our work. And I think that's the most important part of this conversation. It's not just the corporate experience, it's the real life that we weave into the work to uh the work we do. Loretta's work is not about motivation or positive thinking, it's making the unconscious conscious and becoming courageously authentic about recognizing when old stories are running new lives and reclaiming the agency to choose differently. Our work resonates especially with women and leaders that appear successful on the outside but sense a deeper misalignment alignment within. I thought that was also very interesting and aligned with exactly what we try to focus on on this episode. So I'm looking forward to Loris a little bit more about you, Loretta, uh behind the scenes beyond the bio, but also some of the insights and learnings that you've gathered um over the decades with uh your clients. So great to have you here.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Oh, thank you so much, Nola. I appreciate it. Well, everything you say is so wonderful and positive, but it wasn't uh all uh roses and and shining. That there were moments of difficulty, you know, and to learn anything, you have to go through uh ups and downs, and I had my share, as you can imagine. So I um uh when I thought it was gonna be one way, I had some some learning to do, and life life really has its way, you know. I uh yeah, and uh the intersectionality of the personal with the professional, uh really it's I like the world that you use, intersectionality is is very appropriate because uh you think you have something made and then something happens, and then you're like, oh no, uh no, no, no, uh something has to change, and you find yourselves having to start from scratch in some other areas.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

So I think the the the the personal professional will sometimes we also try to keep it in boxes, right? But those boxes never stay closed. Especially for women.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Yeah, especially for women who have to juggle so many, so many boxes, you know, because we are we are uh we have emerged after you know the first half of the century as in the in the 1900s as capable, capable, not just capable, but uh very powerful, you know, ha at the other half, and uh all of a sudden we have the babies and we have the work and we have so much more, and it's it's uh it's scary in a way, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Well, um a little bit about those layers and those faces now, uh Loretta. So when you hear the word intersectionality, um what aspects of your identity have most shaped who you are today?

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Uh which aspects of my identity um uh determined where I'm at today? That was the question. Um, I guess I guess it was I started uh when I was young to to be raised in very chaotic, chaotic, chaotic uh households. Um I learned that and it wasn't that great in that sense, I had no stability, but it also gave me a sense that I could go anywhere and still survive. So that was my first hint, you know, there is a world outside the little town where I was in Italy. Um and and what intervened right away was a sense of wanting to prove the world that I could do a lot more than just being a pretty girl, you know. In Italy, women at the time were still objects, not not um essential part of society unless you had an education in a particular field, which took me time to gain. Um, so as long as I was in Italy, I wasn't seen for the gifts I had in my head. I was seen for the body I had. So when I emigrated to the United States, I was very grateful because my career took off. And um, and and that's when I I thought, wow, thank God, you know, I'm much more than just a woman in an objectified sense. Um but I continue to search for approval outside myself, and that's important to remember because I I wasn't doing the inner work. Like many people, young people, you know, you you don't need to because everything is outside of you. But then something happened, again, intersectionality that stopped me, and I lost a baby at birth, and it was a consequence of doing too much, too much for others and not enough for myself. And that's when I realized that um I needed to learn to love myself more. So I stopped and went back to school and got myself a second degree and a master in um transpersonal psychology and uh became a coach. And um, and that's when I really started to study women in a more profound sense, and uh and realize how many women go through stages of wanting to prove and to be successful and to learn, and but they also have so much uh on their shoulders, you know, we have so much that and we end up maybe deviating from our dreams because because of what we have to do, you know, both personally and in society, uh and the freedom that we might not have with the children. So um so I I changed my life at that point. I left uh where I was and uh started move moving around and now I'm a public speaker.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

In a nutshell.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

In a nutshell, I know that's definitely summarized in a few seconds. But I I I want to sit sit with that a little bit too, though, because I think that really is um the key part of our conversation, uh Loretta, is is when you look back, when you look back at your story now, um, and you know, thinking at what you're doing and what people see, what part of your story do you think people don't see? And and you know, part of your journey, part of your lessons, do you think is the most eating uh when people think about your success and your work today?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Oh, that's a very good question, Lola. Um the desperation I went through in wanting to be seen both by my partner and at work, and how much I worked to to be recognized in every possible way, which came from my childhood, you know, my parents not being around because my dad left me when I was one year old, and my mom was too busy to take care of me, so I ended up in foster homes. And uh, because of that, I was like starving for attention and for love. And um at work I had to be number one. At school, I had to be number one, and um, when I had a partner who was very attentive, I couldn't take it, so I left. Um and this is something people don't know. Why did you leave? It was great because I couldn't take it, I wasn't used to it, and I ended up with someone who loved me, but it wasn't as as attentive on a daily basis, and then I suffered because you know I wanted those that kind of attention, and um and but people didn't don't see that, and so I had to learn to give it to myself, which is the biggest lesson that we can learn as women how to love ourselves, how to take care of ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Yeah, thank you, thank you for sharing that. And I know um again, you know, some of those are like very personal moments and very heavy moments and seasons, um, but it's really shaped how you show up today and and in the work that you do. So maybe tell us a little bit about the work that you do and and maybe some of the tools that helped you to get to doing the work right now.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Well, uh, you know, there is the old Daj meditation, which really still works. It's it's a meditation doesn't necessarily mean you know sitting down and but it means spending time in quiet uh alone, um hearing the silence, you know, because we have so much noise around, so many, so much input from the outside. I spend a lot of time alone. And my um my master initiated me on the spiritual path. Um, I'm not awakened by any means, but I began to read a lot of books in in the field of um spirituality, and they have been extremely helpful, and every day I continue to do so in terms of what it takes to um be connected inward, you know, make the unconscious conscious. And um it's a daily job, if you will, because when you live in a western culture, there are so many distractions and so many ways to you know be distracted and use something else, but I find it the most rewarding way, um, and and healing, very healing.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Yeah, so so that that that really helped you um walk through some of those things for yourself and and get to where you are. So tell us a little about your work today. Um, I know you work with a lot of women who are also sitting in uh maybe spaces that are similar to where you were a while back. Uh, do you want to talk a little bit about your work?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah, I mean I coached women in um women are afraid of sales, for instance, because uh they think and it's it's there is a hidden fear of not being good enough. So, and asking for uh the order or asking for, but sales is a way of selling yourself, you know, selling what you what you have, and I love love to help women sell in. Um that's the part of my work I I like the most because uh I I was very, very good at it, and um that's one thing, but also getting to a point where you acknowledge what you want and who you are, and then you act upon it. Um yeah, because um sometimes you know people stay stuck for a long time and then they're too afraid to to take action, and that's that's that's the unfortunate truth. Um the thing that I'll be doing more of is public speaking, because I have a book coming out in the fall, and um I think that will be more um a global reach as opposed to one-on-one, you know, bigger audience. Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

So most of the work you do right now is is is uh one-on-one.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Yeah, um, let's talk a little bit about confidence. How do you approach that that word? Um, especially when you work with women. Is it missing? Is it something that is in there? That what do you think about confidence and how it applies to women?

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Most women have confidence because uh whether they've been in a job for a while or not, women know more, much more, much more than than than men. Women know a lot. We're survivor and we're very smart. But confidence is different than loyalty, you know, self-loyalty. You can have confidence, but that's you, right? Yeah, do you need to take that? No keep going. Okay, you may have confidence, but you can still abandon yourself, you know. Yeah, I mean I mean I used I used to have a lot of confidence and and I still do, but then I could feel depressed because I th I don't think I'm good enough, you know. That's abandoning yourself. Um that's pretty normal too, you know. So it's important to remember that there is a difference, and it's it's it it it needs paying attention to how we think, speak, and behave towards ourselves mostly.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Yeah, and I think a lot of it has to do with the work, the the process to to even acknowledge things, because uh a lot of times we we hear people talk about confidence like it's just something, oh just be confident, you know, it's not that easy. There's a lot of um inner work that we have to do with ourselves within ourselves going forward, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Right, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you know a discipline, you can be confident, but are you able to carry through over time that has to do with being loyal to yourself?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Yeah, we um we didn't really walk through your corporate journey a little bit. I I think we we skipped through that. Can you walk us through your career journey and um some of the transitions that you've had to make along the way?

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Sure. Um somehow I started in high tech and um from from the get-go. I was 22, I was going to university at nighttime, and uh I was working for a CADCAM company. It was called Calm at the time. Um, they were doing um what was the name of the um anyway, it was high tech. And then from there I went to um this Palo Alto and worked for uh Fairchild. First I worked for National Semiconductor in uh international, then I went to Fairchild and did some technical work, I didn't like it. Then from there I went to Xerox and became very quickly a senior sales representative. Very quickly. I um I was determined to be number one in the United States, and um I rose very fast, and I was there for four years, I think. Yeah. And then I said, oh no, I'm going to Apple. And I stayed home for a couple of months, and one day I thought, oh, I'm just gonna call the VP of International and see what he has to say. And I went in, and within hours I had a job with uh international traveling around the world, interviewing uh clients of Apple on how on their use of Macintosh so that we could train the domestic force on the use of Macintosh, and that's what I did for six months. It was an amazing job. And um I was still under contract because it was still tough to be hired, you know, even in those days in the 90s, and then I went to work for Latin America, still Apple, to train managers on how to sell. And I did that for six months, and uh that was also an amazing opportunity, and then I came back and got a full-time job uh in the Bay Area, San Francisco, selling to Fortune 100 companies, and um it was a bit more boring, but it was a highly paid uh job, and um so I did that for a while, and um yeah. That was my career with Apple. And then I I raised my family, and um everything evolved from there.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Then I can tell you really did enjoy the sales part of this and the travel piece of this. Um, and I I maybe that's what makes you enjoy working with the people that are doing that now.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Yeah. I relate, I relate to them with them, to them completely. So uh tell us a little bit about your book. Well, my book is called Painted Red, and it's about uh growing up in Italy under harrowing circumstances and uh a very, very amazing life, and then immigrating to America in my early 20s and living with uh a bunch of um university students uh for for a few years. And uh and everything that happened thereafter. It's it's quite amazing. It's gonna be an amazing book because people will will have a chance to live through the years in Italy, the years in America, how how I integrated um my relationship with my mom and um how everything went. And uh I think it's gonna be a very I I'm writing another one on the lessons I learned um in living in so many worlds, you know, at once.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Yeah, that's uh that's a broad, very broad range of experience, and um we can't wait to share it as well with the audience um in the in the couple of months. So thank you, Loretta. Uh so as we start to move towards the wrap-up of these, uh, this last part, I just like to make it really actionable and helpful, especially for anyone listening that can relate with those intersections that you have shared during this conversation. If there's anybody who is early in their career or even mid-career that can relate to some of the experiences that you've shared, what are some of the tools and and tips that you have for them on how to be successful in their career and in life and thrive?

SPEAKER_00 24:34

My biggest suggestion would be to uh have their inner self aligned with what they do on the outside, and that means feel happiness inside when they go to work. Um not do things for money or or else, because that won't last. So align the uh body, soul, and uh and mind with what what they do always, um and follow their dreams because everything is possible, everything is possible. And um if they have an idea and they want to go for the highest possible um goal to to do it. Because when I called the VP of International at Apple, I didn't think he would even answer the phone. And within three days, I was on a plane going to Sweden with half a million dollars budget. I mean, come on, you can do anything, we can do anything, but just we just have to believe it. Believe it and follow through.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Follow through, take that first step, yes, because wishing and sitting is not gonna get anything done. Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

And I see now I get a lot of interviews with um I call them second world countries, but I see people doing things that I'm like, wow, kudos to you, you know, and they don't don't give up. They don't give up. Good.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Yeah, yeah. I think um what was the the phrase somebody used in the podcast I was listening to recently was uh technology allowing technology and development and infrastructure is allowing us to democratize entrepreneurship, giving people the power in their own hands to build businesses, to take steps that maybe was not accessible before, right? Exactly. We had phones plugged to the walls, and people had to walk to even connect to somebody else, yeah. Yeah, now people in the palm of their hands, we have people running businesses on their phones, right?

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Exactly. It's amazing on the phone, yeah. My old my old coach, now she's a seven-figure coach, she she did everything on her phone for months. I'm like, how did you do that?

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Yeah, yeah, as long as you have uh you have a phone and you have internet, there's so much you can do from different parts of the world. So it's incredible, incredible. When you when you think of your own lead experiences, how do you think it continues to shape the way you do your work right now, like today? What what do you bring into it? You cut out at the beginning of the question. Can you just repeat that? Oh, I was saying, uh when you think about your own lead experience and the work you do today, how do you see your experiences shaping how you work today?

SPEAKER_00 28:07

You know, it's funny you asked that because I was just thinking about that this morning. I think that a lot of what we go through um was predestined in a sense, like we we chose what was gonna happen way before we even came. You know, I believe in reincarnation, and I believe that we actually choose our lives, and uh I think how did that happen and why? And then I go, wow, that's why. Like my baby left this earth because I needed to learn to love myself, I was doing way too much for others, and I really believe that that's true. So when things happen at that at the time they happen, we may not see the whole picture, but in retrospect, later we understand why. And I think everything happened for happens for a reason. And although I don't subscribe to the notion that there is a guy who created everything, I think there is a higher intelligence creating, making everything move, you know. Everything is alive, everything. And it's like a huge puzzle that has come is coming together and continues to come together, and we're all part of this. And you know, we might not see and understand everything, but there is a reason.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

There is a reason, and there is a higher being and order of things that is definitely beyond our individual control.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Absolutely, and we have to have faith, and not religiously speaking, because I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. Faith, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Yeah, it is different. Right. Well, Loretta, um, before I ask my final question, which is a food question, is there anything else you want to share, you want to say for anyone listening that feels trapped maybe by their past? Anything you want to say to any final words you want to say to them?

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Um, well, there's one thing I like to share, and that is um that we're all free to move beyond our past conditioning, and even though we have a body, we are like think of ourselves as a point in time and in the universe that can travel world and across. We're not statics anywhere, we're not. At the same time, there are consequences in leaving places and people, and I've lived through the consequences of having made major decisions when I decided to become someone else and choose different paths, and I cannot say in total confidence that I don't have some regrets over some of the choices I've made, even though my life has improved in so many ways. So choose carefully, that's what I want to say. Choose carefully your next step because anything is possible, choose carefully. I love that. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

Sure. My final question is a food question, and I'm curious about this. I I love to ask my guest about if you could share a meal with your food or a fruit or a snack, what would you pick and why?

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Oh my god, that is so great. I love it. Oh jeez, oh my god. I'm a sweet tooth person, and that is such a problem. That is such a problem. You see me you see me eating uh but probiotic yogurt, and then I put um sweet stuff on top, and I'm going, why am I doing this? Why why am I ruining the whole thing, you know? Yeah, I used to love pasta, but not anymore because it just I see it in my in my hips the day after. Oh gosh, that's a that's a trick question, you know. I know, and that's why I love it. Okay, with that question than I did before. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh, this is such a trick question. You know, I love eggs in any shape and form. Okay, and so you give me like uh eggs benedict or a fritata, or you have me. So those are my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

They don't have sweets though, huh?

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Those don't have sweets, those don't have sugar. I know, but I can't, I can't I can't go there because then then you will read on a paper woman who used to be normal died from obesity, and that was me.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Oh nice. Well, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you for sharing that, and thank you for chatting with me, Loretta. It's been great being connected with you and being vulnerable and sharing a little bit about all of the phases because I think that's the reality we all need to see to about people's highlights is that real life is it's just a combination of seasons and a combination of layers, but we can push through, we can move on, um and and and accomplish all that we are meant to. I appreciate it. I really do the time and the questions, of course, and for everyone listening, thank you for joining us today. We have a new way for you to uh engage, so check the fan. You can send us a message directly about this episode. I would love to hear what resonated with you. And if you have any questions, uh stay connected with myself and Loretta details um in the notes. But Loretta, is there a preferred way you like to be connected to what platform or email?

SPEAKER_00 34:52

I have a website, laurettazucati.com, where you can actually book a session free or uh send me an email. And I'm also on TikTok, um, where there is a waiting list for my um for my memoir where you will receive information and it's all you know, you can actually you know write me there. And I'm on all social media, every channel, all social media. So I'll put on the links.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

But thank you, Loretta, and thank you everyone for listening. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

Bye bye, bye.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

Thank you for being part of today's conversation on thriving in intersectionality. If you're an HR or DEI leader and you need employer resource group or business resource group resources, let's connect and LinkedIn. I help organizations build inclusive cultures through inclusive workplace communities, strategy, and storytelling. Immigrants and first-gen professionals, join our free community at www.immigrantsincorporate.org for career support, networking, and resources in community with peers who understand your journey. Tag our podcast page on LinkedIn or connect with me directly to continue the conversation. Please don't forget to rate and review to help others discover these discussions. Keep thriving in your intersections. Your story matters. I'm Dr. Lola Adeyemo, and this has been Thriving in Intersectionality Podcast.