When you’ve outgrown a life… but you’re scared to leave

Have you ever felt like everything in your life looks fine on the outside… but deep down, it just doesn’t feel right anymore?

In this first episode of Inner Language, I’m sharing my personal experience of outgrowing a life that once made sense: combining a full-time job with an Instagram account of almost 70K followers, and the moment I realized it no longer felt like me.

We’ll talk about the fear of letting go, the weight of expectations, and what it really means to go through an identity shift. Because sometimes, the hardest part isn’t knowing what you want… It’s having the courage to leave behind what no longer fits.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between safety and something unknown, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why it’s so hard to let go of something that once defined you
• How your identity can keep you stuck longer than you want
• The hidden trap of “I’ve already invested so much”
• Why fear of the unknown feels so overwhelming (and what it really means)
• How to recognize when something no longer aligns with who you are
• Why feeling lost might actually be a sign you’re moving in the right direction

Transcript

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Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like everything you're doing in life isn't working out anymore? You're desperately craving a change, but you either don't know exactly what you want to do, or even if you do know what you want, you're scared to go after it. Hi, my name is Alice, and you are listening to the podcast Inner Language. In this episode, I'm going to talk about letting go of something that no longer fits and finding the courage to start something new. I'll tell you about all the fears that I was dealing with before starting this podcast and what I had to let go of. I'm so happy that you're here. Last year I was doing two things at once. I was combining a full-time job, and on the side, I was running an Instagram channel that grew pretty quickly, that grew pretty big, and at some point I had almost 70,000 followers. And I can tell you that when your channel grows to that amount of followers, then it feels like a huge responsibility. For two and a half years, this worked out. Like I could manage it, I could do this full-time job, and I could do this Instagram channel, but it really came to a point where I could feel deep down that none of this was working out anymore. Like both my job I really struggled with, if this is something that I saw myself doing for the rest of my life and if it wasn't time to quit it, and my Instagram channel. I was in a niche that felt like didn't fit me anymore, a niche that I used to love so much, but I felt like I had outgrown it, and there were so many other things that I wanted to talk about, but I just couldn't express that in that particular channel just because of the niche that I was in. So it really came to a point where I felt it's time for me to quit my job, and it's time for me to quit my Instagram channel and to do something else. To be honest, this was so hard for me to process. And I feel like so little people actually talk about this feeling, this feeling like why it's so hard to let go of something that you've built up or like an identity that you have created. And I feel like so many people are in the same situation as I am. Whether you are in a job that you feel like it's time for you to leave, or you're studying something that doesn't fit you anymore, a relationship that you feel like it's time to leave. So, how do you find the courage to do this? First, let's talk a little bit about the job that I was in. So I was working for a company that was originally my dream job. Like, I absolutely loved the thing that I was doing because I got to help people go through something that I went through myself, so it felt super fulfilling to be able to be some kind of coach to other people, and the work itself I absolutely loved, and that's the reason I took this job. And when I got it, I was like over the moon happy because it felt like this is exactly what I want to do in life. But quickly I came to the realization that the work culture, the mentality of the company was so different from my mentality. Because for me, it's very important that I have some kind of purpose in my job. And this might sound like weird or naive, but I just really want to do something that I feel like I can make a difference in, or at least I can make a difference for other people. Versus the company that I was working in was kind of like so many of the other companies out there that I'm focused on making money and making profit, and they don't care that much about the people. So that was one thing that I was struggling with, and another thing is I had this Instagram channel. You might actually know me from my Instagram channel, it was focused on learning Greek because I'm a huge language learner. I have learned different languages in my life. I'm a real language nerd, honestly. And I was learning Greek about three years ago, and I had so many content ideas. I had so many ideas what it's like to learn Greek, and I wanted to share my journey so I could hopefully inspire other people and I could show them how I did it. And because I've learned Spanish and German and English before, I felt like I've developed a method on how to learn languages effectively and quickly, and I thought, why not share that with the world so other people can also learn how to learn languages more effectively than the traditional school way that I don't stand behind because I feel like there's so many things we can improve also in learning languages. So I started sharing that online and I absolutely loved it. This channel was my baby. I put so much passion, so much joy into this channel. Every single day I was making content and I got feedback from people. I loved the community that I created. I even organized like Greek language cafes where people could practice their language, I could meet so many people, and it was the joy of my life for two years. For two years, I invested so much time into this, and that's why it built up to 70,000 followers, which sounds insane. But I was doing this with such an amount of passion and such an amount of love. And I don't regret it. It's the best thing that I have ever done in my entire life. If I had the chance to start that channel all over again, then I would do it because people have no idea the amount of confidence that you gain from having a channel like this. But at the same time, after two years, I felt like all I could talk about was Greek and Greece. And I spoke Spanish. I have people from Spain, I traveled to Spain, and I felt like I can't talk about that language, I can't talk about that culture because it just doesn't fit in this niche. I can't talk about uh German, or I used to live in Germany about that time because no one really cares about that. People follow me because of the Greek culture, because of Greece. There were so many Greeks who were following me that were so interested in hearing my perspective on their country from a foreign perspective. So it was like I can't express my other interests. I have a huge interest in personal development, in coaching, and things that I'm talking about right now. How do you overcome fears? How do you go after your dreams? How can I help other people go after their dreams? How do you leave a job that you don't like? Things like that that I felt like I wanted to talk more about, but at the same time, I didn't have that room in that channel anymore. So, what did I do when I first felt that? Well, I want to say that I had this insane amount of courage to just quit everything, but of course I didn't. I I just I stayed, like so many people do. It's what's your first instinct? You have to deal with all the fears that come with that, that I will talk about in a little bit. Um, but I I stayed because I told myself it was such a shame, because I told myself, oh my god, I'm in my absolute dream job. I love the work that I'm doing and the fear of not finding anything better after this. And with my Greek channel, it was like I've put years into building this, there are so many people relying on me, and I can't just quit right now because I've built up so much already, I put so much energy in this, and if I quit that, then all of that is gonna be for nothing, and then all of that is such a waste of time, and that's something that I was really, really struggling with, and that's why I just kept going and I tried to make it work, and I convinced myself into staying, and like, yeah, but you know, now at least you have stability, you know what you have, and you know, like all the excuses that usually come up with this. So I'm gonna give you five things that I really struggled with. The first thing is something that people don't really often talk about, is that something like this becomes your identity. It's not just what you do anymore, it's who you are. Everyone saw me as the Greek girl or the girl who is learning Greek. That was really who I was. So if I all of a sudden change that, then that means then I have to face who am I without this? Who am I without this channel? What is my identity actually? So it's not just you're leaving something behind, it's like you're letting go of a version of yourself, all of your past effort and all of the certainty that it once gave you. You have to let go of all of that, and that honestly is a process. It took me months and months, and I tried to make it work, and I had faces where I thought, okay, let's just try to upload frequently again, and I did it for a week, and I couldn't keep up with it anymore. I wasn't consistent, so I I convinced myself I just need a break, so I stopped posting for like a month or for like two months, thinking if I take a break, then maybe I have the motivation again of starting. So I did that, I came back, I posted again, and I realized nope, still don't have the motivation to keep going. It was just incredibly hard to admit to myself that it was time for me to let go of this identity. So that was the first thing that I was really dealing with is changing this identity, letting go of something that felt so familiar to me and the fears that come with all of that. The second thing that I was dealing with is that I had absolutely no idea what else I was gonna do. I had a vague idea in my mind about starting this podcast, about being more open, being more vulnerable about fears and topics that we are going through, because I was missing a person in my life who talks about this. I follow so many people, so many podcasts, so many other content creators or people going through life changes, but it's usually people who are already there, who have already built like successful businesses, and from that perspective, they're giving you advice on what to do, how to quit your job, how to start something new. So they're like the real mentors, they're people who've coached like 50,000 people on like this topic, what felt like, but I was in desperate need of listening to someone who was at the beginning, someone who's literally where I am standing right now. That's also the reason I'm starting this podcast. So I had that idea in mind like this is what I would love to do, and I want to start a podcast at some point, but I was exhausted. I was so exhausted from doing this job full-time, running this Instagram channel on the site, that I came to a point where I lost all of my motivation, my inspiration to start posting. I woke up in the morning, I didn't have energy, I didn't even have energy to start my day. I felt like I was so stuck and I had no idea how to get out of that particular situation. So, even though I always had in mind I know what I want to do in the future, it's just I don't know how to get there and when I'm gonna get there, if I can ever get there, because obviously I was so tired and I got to a point of almost burnout, and that is such a scary place to be at because no one can tell you when this is gonna end. It's dealing with the uncertainty and trusting that everything will unfold and you're gonna get out of this, is also a really hard thing that I was dealing with. So, a third thing that I was really struggling with is called people pleasing. And this may sound weird, but trust me, when you've built up a channel with so many people following you who are expecting you to make content constantly and you get messages, people telling you, Oh, I love what you're doing, and I've learned so much from you, and you're such a huge inspiration, then that also comes with a huge amount of pressure. Because what happens if I stop doing that? That means I'm gonna have to disappoint so many people who follow me. And that pressure also got very, very big, and it's it's the reason why it took me so long to make the decision. It I need to quit this channel, or at least I need to quit posting. And one time I remember I was driving in the car and I was on the highway, and I saw a huge billboard that had a quote that was literally exactly the quote that I needed to hear at that time. It's like almost like the universe sent it my way, like you need to read this right now. Because it said, other people's expectations are not your responsibility, other people's expectations are not your responsibility, and that was exactly what I needed to hear because I was really thinking about my channel and the fact that so many people expect me to make content and to keep talking about this topic for the rest of my life is not my responsibility. In other words, I'm allowed to change. I need to give myself permission to change. And that was a big thing. Not that it I changed immediately after that, it still took me like weeks or months even to get to that point, but it really helped me in the process of letting go of this past identity. So, yeah, people pleasing. That was another reason why it was so hard for me to quit. Then the fourth reason is something that I'd already talked about before. It's something that in psychology it's called the sunk cost trap. It's like you're convincing yourself, I have put already so much work into this, I've put years into this, so I cannot just quit it. And this is also very common for people who have studied something. So let's say you're like a doctor, you've studied I don't know how many years to become a doctor, you realize, oh my god, this is not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. Then you usually what happens is you convince yourself I've already put so many years into studying this, so I might as well make it work. I cannot just quit right now. So that was also a big thing for me because I invested like three years into this Instagram channel. I'd built it up with such a big audience, so I thought I cannot just let that go because then I've wasted three years, which is a lie, which is honestly it's a lie because I learned so much from it and I grew so much from it as a person. And the last thing that I was dealing with is the fear of the unknown, not knowing, not knowing if I'm gonna find something that is better than the situation that I'm already in. Also, the fear of if I start a new Instagram channel or if I start this podcast, will it be successful? Like, is there anyone who is going to listen to this? Because that's another fear when you start a podcast, is you think about all the podcasts that are already out there, all the other people who are in exactly the same niche as the one that you are in. I'm not gonna be saying anything new. I feel like there are so many people already talking about this particular topic, about quitting something you don't like, about just changing something new. There are so many YouTube videos, podcasts, everything out there already. So, who am I to also talk about this? And there's nothing that I'm gonna say that they haven't said before, that wasn't said before. So that's another figure that I was dealing with of trusting that I'm unique and maybe I tell things in a different way than these people are saying, and trusting that there are still people out there who might be interested in following my journey. So, in case you're listening to this episode right now, thank you so much for being here and thank you for your interest of at least listening to this first episode. The fact that you already took out some of your time to listen to this story already means so much to me. Because you know, you could have listened to like two million other podcasts that are out there, but for some reason you picked mine, and that really means the world to me. So thanks for that. So that concludes my first episode. As you can already hear in the story, I have quit the job that I had stayed in, and I had also made the decision to stop posting on my Instagram channel, and I am about to start something new. So, in case you want to follow my journey, then I would absolutely love it if you uh continue listening to my podcast. And in case you're in a similar situation where you feel like it's time to quit a job, like a study, a relationship, or anything else, I just want you to know that I believe that quitting is something incredibly brave, and that if you do that, that life will open new doors for you. If you are going through a phase where things don't feel right anymore, just know that you are not alone in that. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Inner Language. If this resonates with you, then feel free to share it or to send it to someone who might need to hear it. And I'll talk to you in the next episode.