The Truth About Appreciation That No One Tells You | It's not Gratitude

What is The Truth About Appreciation That No One Tells You?  It's not Gratitude

Appreciation is not about forcing yourself to be positive, ignoring what hurts, or pretending life is easier than it is. 

In this episode of Success Redefined, I share part of my own personal story, including living with serious health challenges, starting over, and learning that real appreciation is not the same as forced gratitude.

This is a heartfelt reflection on what it means to notice one small thing that is still working, even when other parts of life feel difficult, uncertain, or heavy. 

If gratitude practices have ever made you feel silenced, pressured, or as though you are supposed to “just be thankful,” this conversation offers a gentler and more honest way to think about appreciation, mindset, resilience, and where we choose to place our attention.

For more information on a single focus sessions, visit:
bellasaintjohn.com/coaching

CHAPTERS
00:00 Appreciation Is Not Pretending Everything Is Fine
00:31 When Gratitude Starts to Feel Like Pressure
01:02 Real Appreciation Allows Honesty
01:34 My Personal Story of Health, Pain, and Starting Over
02:24 Finding One Small Positive Thing
03:05 Forced Gratitude vs Real Appreciation
03:52 When Journals and Morning Lists Are Not Enough
04:35 A Mindset Shift That Changes Where You Focus
05:18 Appreciation as a Life-Changing Decision

~ Bella

MS BELLA ST JOHN
Achievement Strategist, Writer, Artist

*     https://BellaStJohnInternational.com
*     https://ArtByBellaStJohn.com
*     https://www.linkedin.com/in/msbellastjohn/

~~~ Success Redefined ~~~
PS:  No animals were harmed in the creation of this video.  Made with recycled data

Appreciation is not about pretending everything is fine; it's about genuine acknowledgment. In this episode, we explore how true appreciation, rather than silencing, contributes to your mental health and promotes stress relief. Discover how practicing mindfulness and gratitude can lead to a more authentic sense of well-being, fostering a positive psychology in your daily life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Appreciation is not pretending that everything is fine. There's a version of acknowledging something and giving thanks that actually makes people feel worse. You know, when someone tells you to be grateful for this or that when things are hard, and all you hear is stop complaining and pretend everything's fine. That's not appreciation. That's silencing yourself with a positive pretend label. Real appreciation is not about pretending everything's fine. It's about being honest enough to notice what is still working, even when other things might not be. And those two things can exist at the same time. In my life, for instance, I have some fairly serious health issues. And there are some days when I could so easily just pull the covers back over my head and go into woe-is me mode. Every day for me, every day, everything hurts. And some days my heart just decides, I don't think I want to do this whole blood pumping thing quite as effectively today. And that can be a bit of a challenge. And I live alone, I turned sick turned 60 this year, I don't have a partner I can rely on as a safety net, and like many other people, I also was wiped out during the whole 2020 situation and had to start all over again. But doing that when your body doesn't cooperate the way it used to can take an extra toll. The way through for me, on top of all of that, was and is not pretending everything's fine. It's finding just one small positive thing, even if everything else at that moment in time seems to be falling apart. The difference matters. Forced gratitude says, I should feel thankful at least for this or for that. Real appreciation is more like, well, it is what it is. But I'm going to focus on just this one small thing that makes me smile, even if just a little. If you happen to have tried the gratitude journals, and don't get me wrong, I think journals are wonderful. I really would, however, choose appreciation journals rather than gratitude. And it is a small shift, but for me, words matter. And you've tried, quote unquote, Yoda, do or do not, there is no try. You've tried the morning lists and still feel like nothing's working the way that you want to. Or maybe you've built a life that you thought that you should, but you find that your heart's no longer singing. Chances are it's actually a mindset shift, not another gratitude practice that's going to have the most impact. And trust me, I've been there more than once. And that's a lot of the work that I do with clients now, actually, is that kind of shift. And if that's of interest to you, we can do a single focused session. Just one pattern, one way of thinking that's no longer serving you in just one coaching session. And I guarantee you are going to feel different about it, and you're going to have some other tools to take with you. If that's of interest, it's just bellasaintjohn.com/slash coaching. Appreciation though, something to just take with you. Appreciation's not a mood and it's not an action item, and it's not quote unquote gratitude. It is, however, a decision about where you want to focus your attention, and the difference can truly be life changing. I'm Bella Saint John and I thank you for being here. Until next time. Bye.