Sometimes You're The Villain

Have you ever found yourself cast as the bad guy in someone else's story?

In this episode of Seeing What's Here, Vanessa and Pablo explore why being misunderstood can feel so uncomfortable and why most of us work so hard to avoid the role of "villain." Together, they unpack the tension between caring about others and taking responsibility for emotions that aren't ours to carry.

Through stories, reflection, and practical examples, they discuss what happens when our decisions disappoint others, when leadership requires difficult choices, and why trying to control how people perceive us often leads to exhaustion. They also explore the difference between causing harm and simply triggering discomfort, and how another person's reaction may reveal more about their inner world than about our intentions.

If you've ever struggled with criticism, people-pleasing, conflict, or the fear of being judged, this conversation offers a grounded perspective on staying true to what is before you—even when someone else sees you as the villain.

Because sometimes doing the right thing doesn't make you the hero in everyone's story.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at info@chroniclesofpablo.com 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You ever notice how fast your mind goes to it's them. They're the problem, they're the difficult ones, they don't get it. And it feels completely true and justified. But if you slow that moment down just a little, something important is underneath. Most of us don't stay long enough to see it. That moment right here, that's what this podcast is about. Welcome to Seeing What's Here. Hey Melissa. Hello, good morning, Pablo. Doing well.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

Excellent.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:30

This isn't gonna be a fun one.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

I think so. We're already shuffling. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Yeah, so yeah. I think the question, or one of the many questions, but this is what we settled on, just ruminating. I think in both of our minds was just that idea of yeah, being the villain in somebody's story. Yeah. Like when you realize, oh, their version of the story about this situation that has occurred, I'm the one that they're painting as the bad guy. Yes. Yeah, and nobody wants.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

No, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

We want to believe we're the reasonable one. We're the fair one. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Always being the good person. Yeah. That's definitely. You know, uh wow. And that's a you know, I think I went through a lot of the first half of my life like as a people pleaser, thinking that that was the key to never doing things yet. Oh yeah. And then I realized, oh no, that like um you don't know who it is you're actually pleasing at all these you know different times, you know. Right. And uh so it took it took a while to kind of discern all those different things, you know. It's it's um, but I don't know, you gotta start somewhere, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Well of course, yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

I'm sure we're I mean you could go back to elementary school, I imagine, where you were somebody's villain, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Yeah, for sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

So when did you first know that you were playing a villain role?

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Boy, I don't know. I think maybe this year it's come out in a in a few different ways. Okay, yeah, yeah, which is for goodness sakes, taking this long. But again, it is what it is. So yeah, but I think again, what is stirring up inside me is like, why is this uncomfortable? Why is it that being viewed negatively by others is so uncomfortable, you know. Like you said, we want to be seen as good, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

I mean, it just feels better, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Like you're walking about town and people look at you and they say, Oh, there's there's a good person to get this, oh, they're so kind or nice.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

And you know good things about them and all that.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Exactly. Which I am totally against the word nice. I think it was Tom Barnett. I was listening to one of his teachings on YouTube, and he said, and I need to verify this that the like the Latin root word for the for nice, for the word nice means idiot. Oh, wow. And I'm like, hmm. Okay. Yeah, it's kind of a bland word. I never really like anyway, but I'm going off a tangent.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

It's okay. I like that tangent because you know, I would almost say that it's like a fool. You know, to be nice, you almost have to be a little foolish. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

You know, because you're not ruffling anybody's feathers. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

Because you gotta know, you know, there's a shadow side, and maybe that's the whole part of about being nice that like if you don't understand that, that there's that aspect of it, you kind of are foolish, you know? Like if you're always just nice to somebody, you know, and you never understand that perhaps that there's a shadow side to the relationship or to that person. And it goes unnoticed, and you just keep giving, giving, giving, you know. And shoot, there's situations like that all around. Like people will like go to their deathbed with situations like that. Sure. Yeah. But um I remember when I first realized that I was a villain villain, and I and like uh we were talking about like, could you like play it up or would you play it up? And it was when I got to the Caribbean to work at that propane company, uh, I was hired as the operations manager, and I I uh beat out two guys that thought that they were gonna get it, just from you know, just knowing the the current general manager. And uh one of the guys, I ended up being his villain for sure, like straight up, and it never changed. Like wow um there was one time I think in the early on when I was trying to reason with him and talk to him and say, you know, I'm not here to whatever. But then I realized, oh no, no, no, I'm uh I'm the villain in his story. Like, there's no turning this around. This is gonna be what it is. And and I remember thinking, well, okay, so like in my experience, the way I have to be is just I have to just be um true to what it is that I'm building there for them. Because like everything was transparent. If I was gonna say something, I would say it, and then we would build it into a process, and like everybody could talk about it. It's like, so it's nothing under the table. It was very transparent how we were gonna build stuff, and so that's the way I was, and that's the way I approached everything, including my dealings with you know Linwell. And uh, so it was just very, you know, when I knew that I was gonna be the villain like that, I was like, okay, I'm still gonna have to do my job and do all these processes. So then I'm gonna see where he fits in, and then I'm just gonna make sure I push those things that I need, you know? And so, like, one of the first things that happened um when I got there, I noticed that um the scheduling was all over the place. And our poor service techs were like coming here and going there, coming here and going there. And finally I asked one of the techs, like, Where why are you over here right now? Like, what brought you over here? It's like, well, Limwell just called me and told me to come over here. And so, like, that was the whole thing. He was the salesman, account manager, but he also had his hand in the scheduling thing. And so he kept getting into the operations of moving these guys where they where he needed them to be in a sales situation. It's like, I've seen people run businesses like that. That's kind of I've seen that. I don't know if it's the best way to do, but that's not the way I was gonna run it. I finally said, okay, we're gonna have this one scheduling book, it's gonna be the Bible. I am in control of it. You can ask me to put something on the schedule, but then that's it. You're gonna have to stick with it. And man, he didn't like that. But that was just one of many of those things where it's like a process where I just put it in place and I became his villain because it was like more and more of these things were getting him like out of his well, because his connection was uh just relational to the general manager, um, narcissistic relationship, you know, like you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours, type of thing. It was not built on any kind of uh true measure of you know, like merit or anything. It was just based on, hey, you're gonna be shut up about the my dealings, I'll be shut up about your dealings, and we'll be copacetic. And this putting processes in place, really what that does is just really just brings the light to things. Yeah, you know, yeah, and so I was his villain. I mean, I remember uh me and Jess got invited to um a comedy night, and the dude was really funny. It was somebody that was kind of famous at the time, kind of famous, and he was really funny. And so it was me and Jess and Lemuel and his wife, and oh my god, he just because of the story, because I had to be the villain, he sat there miserable throughout a comedy show. You know what I'm saying? Out, you know what I'm saying? That's like hardcore, man. Like you're really, really having to get deep to hold on to that animosity to not like chuckle or whatever. Right. And so, but I realized that then, and I probably realized it probably in high school, really, uh, that you know, you're gonna create villains and they're not gonna change. They will not change. So, like that's part of the way that story's gonna go all the way to the end. And uh, you know, I don't even at this age, I don't know if if it's ever changed. I think there was I was a villain once to uh a guy in at Feralgas when I worked at the ferrule gas company. And he was an older guy at the time, about my age, like in his uh later 50s. And I was this young punk manager, you know, that was gonna change the world, right? And obviously, this this older guy, you know, you know, he he was like, Who is this punk kid? And I became like the villain in his story, and he became the villain in mine. Yeah, you know, like who is this old dude that won't get on board with the whatever and all this? And so he became my villain. And I think it was towards shoot, maybe it was like maybe not too long ago, a few years ago. Uh, I think he tried to reach out. I never I never got in touch with him, and then he passed away. And you know, I was always curious about you know what it was that he was gonna talk about, you know, like if he just wanted to rub my face and shit, or if or if there was like some kind of come to Jesus or something. But um but I don't know. I think um when I think about it on a personal level, those relationships, like the most important relationship I ever had was like with my father, right? And now I understand his personality in such a way that I know that there's certain things that I know that we're never gonna come clear on, you know? And that I'm never gonna get closure on, and I shouldn't ever want that. You know, he's just gonna have his whatever about certain things and the way things were that he's just not gonna let go of. But I think in in these deeper relationships like that though, villainy is so black and white, right? It seems like good guy, bad guy. Sure. And at this part of the passage, in my at my age, it seems like it's not that simple. There was so much um there's so much gray area that it's just like, wow, you know. I think in a lot of ways, you know, trying to live in that whole binary way, that whole right and wrong, good and evil, it kind of does set up the kind of misery. Because then you can't live in the tension of both.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Exactly. The paradox of holding to two opposing energies, forces, concepts, as they're both equally true. And then in between, there's all the there's the spectrum of nuances.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Yeah, for sure. So that's interesting.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

But I think it's I think it's interesting how you say should you play up the villain part? I think sometimes you should. If you're if you're playing your game from integrity, you know. Yes, yes. I think um sometimes it's okay to double down in that. Because you could be wrong, that's fine. But if you're feeling in your core that that's your soul's journey and you need to double down on whatever villainy that you think is whatever being, you know, perpetrated against you, yeah, then that it maybe is your yeah journey and that is your fight, you know?

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Yeah, that's a yeah, good perspective. I mean, because it is that other person's frame or lens. I don't know, I'm kind of focused on this when we all look at life through these different frames. And so that's that person's frame that they are looking at me through. And but I'm just here, like you said, you know, operating with integrity from my heart, doing you know what is before me, and I can't control how that other person is viewing me.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

That is absolutely right. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

That's really good. Because really, when I think about Limwell, he was Comanion, so he's very proud of being from the island.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Sure, okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

And so one of the things that they were really sore about were uh expats having to fill these kind of positions, you know. Sure. Um, but unfortunately, it's like they were too blind to their own inadequacies to see that, you know, you had a lot to come up to, you know, especially whenever the directors wanted to go in certain directions, you know. It's like you don't even have that capacity yet. So it's like, but you know, you can't have that conversation with them like that, you know, because that's not the game, that's not the frame he was operating in. Exactly. See? Yeah. So his frame was, I'm Comanion and I need to do my best job. You're an outsider, you took my job that I should have had, and all that. And meanwhile, my frame was, no, the directors want to take this operation, they want to go in this direction, they need more processes put in place. And so it's like, here's my frame, here's your frame. Yeah, I'm automatically gonna be your villain. Yeah, you know, it just is. It just is. Yeah, but you know, it was funny. Um, it brought up another story where I had a villain in my life, and uh his name was Dilbert, and he was a bobtail driver. And I remember he used to tell me all the time, I'm gonna get you kicked off the island, just like that. I can get you kicked off the island. I I know some some backbenchers in East End that we'll we'll get you kicked right off. And he used to threaten all that, all that junk all the time. But again, I was just all processed. I'd be like, Dilbert, okay, you give it your best shot, buddy. But he was really cantankerous and really bad with, you know, like um morale, like talking to the to the other employees and doing bringing them down, yeah. And I was like, you know, what endy shit? And then finally, I don't know whose idea it was. I don't know if it was Dilbert's or mine, but we ended up having some rum at his bar. I think it was Dilbert's. Okay. I think one day he said, Come on with me. And I was just like, you know what? Fuck this, I'm gonna just go. And he took me to the bar, and uh, and I just I just remember there was this really big tree. And I remember loving this huge tree, and everybody loved the tree too, and on the island because it was huge. And then right around the corner was his little bar. I can't remember what the name of the bar was, but it was a bunch of Comanians and East Enders, and I mean, I looked not the part, but he brought me into his bar, sat me down, introduced me to the bartender. They poured a couple of uh rums for us, and uh we we clinked glasses and drank them down and actually just sat there talking. Yeah, and he just opened up. Man, yeah, I think we talked about this before how inveritas vino, like with alcohol, it frees the tongue. Yes. And I think I think he just needed to hear, he needed to hear from my mouth what it was that I was doing there in kind of the way that I could explain it in the way that he was sitting there. Okay, because he was sitting there as a um gosh, the way we uh the way we ended up leveling, it was I think it was soul to soul, you know? And he was like, listen, man, I need you to see me, you know?

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, yeah. That's what I knew. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

And it was like, I saw him.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

That's that's beautiful because that's what was on my mind next, is like, okay, when when you're the villain in somebody's story, what is it that's getting activated? And yeah, maybe it's a need for approval or to be seen or understood, or and that's what you guys were doing. But it sounds like kind of that key difference is he had an open heart to to have that exchange. And some people are not willing to.

SPEAKER_03 16:13

Dilbert was tender, he was a sweeter guy. Nice, absolutely. But Limwell, he was he was definitely dumb. Limwell was definitely gonna keep me as a as a villain for the that's it.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Some people have that closed heart. Yeah, that's again, I'm borrowing that from Michael Singer who talks about that. Open heart versus a closed heart.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

I don't know, but maybe that disturbance that we feel is what if someone believes that about me, you know, or what if what if, you know.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Oh gosh, yeah, I know, right? Well, I just like looking at examples in the real world of people who just operate with integrity. You know, when you see that in the real world, what you norm what you normally see are just um uh like you learning from your mistakes, um, doing what you say you're gonna do. Um just trying to live with integrity. Even if you can't hit the mark, like be okay with saying, I'm sorry, I didn't hit the mark, you know? And um because that's hard. Especially when it's really important. Yeah. Like your spouse or something. And you miss the mark, or you know, like you're not whatever, and yeah. But uh but in just general villainy, yeah. Cause yeah, I was starting to think about like villain villain, and I was like, okay, we could get really, really deep because you know, um you've heard that whole saying about you're your own worst enemy, you know, like you as your like your all those voices that we talk about all the time that are triggering whatever, like that's a villain, you know. That's a villain in your life. That um identity that you created that keeps that coming up, you know. Right, right. That's like a villain, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

You know, yeah, we can kind of breathe life into it by you know oh, identifying with it, yeah. Big time. And I think that's where it's easier to, you know, and I'm just now speaking from my perspective in the times. I know I have cast somebody as a villain. And it's easier to do that versus going inwards and and examining, okay, what is being disturbed within me right now. Why, what's coming up, and facing those those shadow parts of my own, my own self and realizing, oh yeah, okay, maybe I've identified with this part of me or this part of me, and now that's being disrupted, or yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:53

Yeah, like um somebody telling you, like, you're just really ugly. And then just saying, You're right, I am really ugly, aren't I? Just being okay with it. Yeah. I am ugly, aren't I? All right, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

You know what I'm saying? Like, take the energy right out of it. Like if it's not really like if you're coming from a place of self-love and you're not doing it out of any kind of validation, you're doing it from your journey. Right. Like if that's what if that's really where you're doing it from, like from your journey, then you would be open to the criticism, I think. Like you'd be saying, is this true? Yes or no? Yeah. Is this an inadequate that inadequacy that I should face? Yes or no. If it's no, yeah, then it's like, so what if the criticism? It's just like, okay, cool. Right. I guess you're right. Whatever you want to call me.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Because we can spend so much of our energy then protecting that self-image. Yes. That's all that is exhausting. It's exhausting.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

It's super exhausting.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

We spend a lot of our effort and energy to manipulate and control, to be seen as the mask or whatever, you know, the whatever I present to people. And so maybe that's all we're protecting, then is just this it's a mask, you know, and we put on different masks in different situations for different people and scenarios, and but that's that's not me. No, no. Yes, indeed.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Yeah, I think that's that's what I would do too with people that are coming to me from the outside like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

Because again, you know, it um yeah, when that kind of thing was happening, I did get a lot of pushback from mostly the Comanions, you know. But then eventually, you know, we found out that um just through putting in processes that uh yeah, there was a lot of like theft going on from like long time royal employees and stuff. Yeah. And so it's nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with me. And like I said, you know, it's like that's the cool thing about operating from integrity. You don't have it doesn't have to be personal.

SPEAKER_04 21:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

You put things in place where it's just like, here, let's just do this and let's just see what happens whenever the first bank deposit doesn't get made. And and then you go back and you say, because you put somebody in charge of the first bank deposit, you go back to that person and say, Why didn't it get made? Because I asked the new procedure is every day this gets done.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Right.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

The first day that it does get doesn't get done, I go to that person I told or asked to do it and ask them, why didn't it get done? Right. Usually it's personal. And it's like, okay, get over that. Right. You're gonna have to get over that. Right, right. Do this now. This is the new procedure. Yeah. And then what happens is because usually they were hiding something and they can't they hadn't figured out how to redo the the crime, and then they have to start doing the Deposit every day and then bam. That's when they get they get caught. Yeah. Their their scam or however they were taking money or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

It's just from a process.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

The general manager that I work for, he always wanted to put up put up cameras. It's like, dude, you don't even need cameras. Just processes.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Vacation. Make sure people take their vacation. And when they take vac vacation, you put the competent people to run some of the things that they've been running. And if you think that there's fraud or corruption, bam, that's what will come up to. Right, right. So that's what I'm saying. These things are all just you can operate from integrity and then all that uh noise, right? It's just noise at that point. And you can just tune that out.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Yeah. How is it that you think two people can experience the same event and both believe they're right, you know? Oh yeah. Then you're you're the bad guy. No, you're the bad guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Maybe again it just goes back to frames through which they're and then it comes out to who's the strongest, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:08

Who's got the bigger guns? Isn't that what we're doing? Like on a world scale now, global. Right? Yeah. We want it to run a certain way. They think it should run a different way. And eventually we're gonna duke it out.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

And in our personal world, the only thing we really have, I mean, you could be that way. There are people that are very uh penetrative with their energy and they do things like that. Um but I don't think that's what we talk about here on this podcast. This is more about seeing what's within. Yeah. And so here it's more about um what does that kind of thing do to me? Like what does that trigger in me? Right. What is that making me think or feel?

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Hi, Hobbs.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

I know. It's going around. Yeah. It's like, what do y'all doing here?

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Exactly. Can I join you? Yeah. And I think that's another, we can lose ourselves in these stories that we the narrative we start spinning in our minds around who's right, who's wrong. But and again, if I sat and and was worried about how I am appearing to others all the time, then I think that's you know, leadership becomes impossible. Parenting becomes impossible because I'm too worried about what other people are, how they're seeing me instead of just moving forward, like you said, with integrity and doing what I need to do. Yeah. Even relationships would become impossible. Hmm. Yeah, I think it comes back to just all right for me. Am I moving forward with all my heart and soul, like Michael Singer says, and just doing what is before me, not can I get everybody to agree with me and like me and say I'm a good person.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Yeah, yeah. I mean, just uh just uh uh yesterday, uh after my little hip incident, you know, I didn't get some sympathy that I felt like I, you know, needed or deserved. And it went by me and it's like, hmm, poor me. You know? Yeah. It's like, listen, come on, you know, yeah, not everybody's gonna have the same reaction ever. And right. And uh and and really that's what we are working on here because ultimately, when it comes right down to when you have to die, you're gonna have to do it alone. And it's really painful. It may be painful, I don't know. I'm thinking it might be painful. Painful and scary and lonely. And it's like if you've never been, if you've never tried to confront some of that loneliness and some of the pain now, what's that gonna feel like I know if you keep putting it off? That's scary. It's yeah, I think and I think ultimately that's what everybody's running from, you know, with the distractions and everything. They're they're running from knowing themselves deep deeper, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Because there's pain there, and we don't want to disrupt that. That's where so many of us are all, you know, it's easier to again manipulate and spin these narratives in our external reality versus disrupting that pain that we know is hiding there.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

Yeah, isn't that a lot of what we're doing trying to protect that? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Michael Singer says it went in with pain, it's gonna come out with pain. But he's like, You you you can handle it. He always says that in his podcast. Can you handle that? Can you handle that? You can yeah, we can. We can, we can, you know, yeah, it may be uncomfortable, or like I said before, all right, let's get my box of Kleenex out and let the tears flow, whatever needs to come out. Let's let's go there though. But I know, and it's scary.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

Yeah. Or like, yeah, the people doing the body work and the breath work and the fascia release and all that kind of thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Yeah, yeah. I think there's a lot of there.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Yep. But I know my husband on his way out the door today, he was like, okay, I'm off to be the villain after we were discussing our topic today. But yeah, there's something I told him, you know, you don't have to audition to be the to have for the role of hero in somebody else's story. You just don't, because we're not, yeah. I don't think we're meant, yeah, meant for that at all. So don't have to audition for it. You don't take the pressure off yourself.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

You know, and isn't that kind of an American thing?

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Oh, the concept of of hero.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Yeah, the concept of the hero probably came from Greek.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Well, Western. Yeah. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Um and I think isn't that what's kind of changing right now? Like, I mean, like um, I think people are seeing that the whole that whole kind of hero mentality, or to see yourself as the main character in the play, um is kind of backfire backfiring, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Maybe so.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

You know, like the whole narcissism experiment. And it's almost like there is something very unique and individual about you, but it doesn't have to be narcissistic. Right, right. And it is very it it needs to be shared with the group because the group we're all gonna benefit from that communally, like when you get that right. That kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Yeah. If we're a microcosm of the entire universe, then when when when I repair myself, I am repairing the entire universe because it it does ripple out. So I think this is very important work and it comes at a very important time, I think, in human history to go inwards and start yeah, processing some of this tough stuff. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

Yeah, yeah, because it may be time to be the villain in somebody's story, right? Like um, I think we've talked about that before. Like uh how how do you upright situations like Epstein and all that? I think it's one soul at a time. However, you can however you can make the difference in that. Yeah. And I'm like, 'cause I think it is important. I think we all thought it was important. It was important enough for me to stop paying energy or money to it. Yeah. And I think a lot of people feel the same way. Like they're all not gonna do that. And uh, but in addition to taking your energy away from those uh villains, you know, you could be, you know, pushing on your own agenda as well.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Yeah, yeah, like Robin Hood and he was the villain to uh the king, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's right, or the sheriff, yeah. Oh the sheriff, yeah, yeah. I hadn't thought about that story in a while.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

But yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Yeah, so I think it, you know, as we go through life, it's not that we have to seek out opportunities to hey play that villain. But again, if that's some how somebody's viewing me, that's their experience. I can try to offer understanding and you know, but I can't do their inner work for them either. And yeah. So not exhausting yourself to try to control how everybody else views right you.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Yeah, yeah. That's that's not that's probably a waste, yeah. Yeah, waste of energy. It really, it really is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

I mean, a lot of people do it. Oh gosh, yeah. I think most of us do. I've reflecting on how most of my life I've done that, tried to control and manipulate in different ways to get what I want. And that's just a waste of energy instead of letting life just flow through me. I I think I need this, I want this to happen and I don't want this to happen. Michael Singer talks about that. There, and that was his reference to preferences. I need this to happen in my life, and I don't want this because I don't want certain things disrupted within me. So then I I'm blocked. I'm not letting life just flow through me.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Working on it.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

Yeah, yeah. Very good.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

It is, yeah. And it's an interesting topic.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

So very, very good.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yeah, it's a good realization for thank you for bringing that up. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I think you've been talking about it a lot. So I'm like, yeah, let's do this.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think uh working with you with 11 minute therapy is it was it was helpful to to be self-aware enough that you could actually even say, be mindful enough to say, like, here I was the villain, you know, here I was thinking this, and there I was playing the villain or whatever. So that was always that was always good.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

If somebody wants to get a hold of you to do that kind of work.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

How can they do that?

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Thank you for asking. So I'm on all social media platforms, and you can always send me a DM. And my business website is expansivelife solutions.com, and you can reach me there. How about for you, Pablo?

SPEAKER_03 32:13

Yeah, if you want to reach me just to uh talk about some of these ideas, uh you can reach me uh by email at infocchronicles of Pablo.com.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Yeah. Thanks for listening. Ta da.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

Cheers.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Cheers.