Biblical Manhood in a Compromised Culture

In this powerful episode of the Kingdom Authority Podcast, we sit down and have an honest, bold conversation about what it truly means to be men of God in today’s church and culture. In a generation battling passivity, compromise, feminism, confusion, and the emasculation of biblical masculinity, this episode is a wake-up call for men to rise up and walk in their God-given role with courage, conviction, and spiritual authority.

We discuss what biblical leadership actually looks like  not domination, pride, or control  but servant leadership rooted in strength, holiness, humility, and sacrifice. We confront the spiritual passivity that has crept into the church and challenge men to stop sitting silently while culture defines manhood for them.

This is a call for men to take their seats as leaders in the home, the church, and the Kingdom of God. We talk about how ministry starts first at home: how we love our wives, raise our children, steward our families, protect what God has entrusted to us, and model Christ daily.

God is calling men back to prayer, purity, boldness, responsibility, and spiritual leadership. This episode is not about culture’s version of masculinity  it’s about becoming men who reflect Jesus: strong yet loving, bold yet humble, filled with truth and the Holy Spirit.

It’s time for men of God to rise.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Hey guys, uh welcome to Kingdom Authority Podcast. We are grateful. This is a podcast about dealing with the body of Christ is so uh they're in this position that they're living under what Christ died for them to have. And this is about regaining authority. Uh, we're grateful for all of our listeners and the and the gaining traction that we're getting. Just keep tuning in, keep sharing this thing. We love you all. Well, let's get after it. Um I was just telling Tony, um, we were sitting here talking about what we're gonna deal with today, and and I I have found throughout life God will give me problems so that I can deal with that so I can help others. Uh, over the last uh probably week, I I probably an exaggeration, but I bet I've dealt with this in an honest term probably 25 times in the last week, about leading your home, being a godly man, and how to do that. Um we think so often that it's about masculinity. Yeah, um, there is a spirit. I I dealt with this at church yesterday. Uh, there is a spirit, and I'm telling you, this is gonna offend people, but good. Um, a femininity in the church and coming out of pulpits. It's wild. I have never seen anything like it. And God is a God of war as well as a God of peace.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Yeah, you hit you hit that yesterday, and I was like, come on, like that is such an issue in not even the American church, church in general, 100%. It's it's running rampant.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

And listen, if I'm stepping on your toes tune out, if you're wearing a purse and you're a man, you got a problem. This is the problem with America today. And I I have said this for years. The church set on their laurels and let this spirit of femininity and in and castorating men come through the pulpit. Yeah, and and I'm not saying only a man can stand in the pulpit. That's not what I'm saying. But if you're gonna stand in that pulpit and you're going to do something for Christ, you've got to have a boldness. And there the problem I have seen over the last uh several years is there is this there's this culture. I don't even know how to put a word on it right now that is holy. Um, because there's times I'm still a little hood, um, and my hood comes out. Um, but there's this spirit that comes through that it demasculates men.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

And then all of a sudden you start to see it at homes. You will see this in a home, the women are ruling the house. And and listen, listen, I know that this episode is gonna get hate now. Oh, yeah. Good. It has nothing to do. Listen, I value my wife, I respect her. When we got married, we became one flesh, but God did not create her to lead our home. No, God created us built different. We're we're to carry weight. Yeah, my wife carries weight in a different way, and it is not a knock against the female sex, no, but men have to become men again.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Yes, I I definitely agree with that, and and not even going towards our because now we are in a time of we have churches where the people behind the pulpit are openly homosexual, and and and where where where did that come from? And and not even that. Men are expected to leave their testicles at the door when they walk. Come on, bro. And that's not how scripturally it is designed. We are, and I hear it all the time. How what is what is being a man? What is being a you're a leader? Now I can go out here and I can I can fish all day and I can hunt and I can work on the cars. Does that make me a man? No, it doesn't. So when we look at what is a man, look at what the scripture says.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

And we aren't women. I said it uh in the opening before worship yesterday. I was talking about mothers and it being Mother's Day, and how I honor them, but I don't want their job. Amen. Because I'm not designed to do their job, they're not designed to do our job as men because we carry different weights, and we don't carry their weight well, and they don't carry our weight well.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

You know, one of the, and I listen to my wife all the time, and she is constantly taking uh enemy fire because she is a submissive wife. Not in the way that in the in the western culture that we have this submissive thing, but she understands what a biblical wife is, yeah. And she tells people all the time, she's like, you don't understand how easy it is to be a biblical wife, because guess what? You're not trying to you're not trying to carry something that was not yours to carry. Right. And you know, we've had multiple times in our marriage things come up, and she'll ask, she'll give her opinion. She'll because and this is this is I want I want all of you watchers and listeners, pay attention to this. This is the way a godly marriage is designed. We'll have a scenario come up in our home. I pray into it, she prays into it, she will give me her opinion, but ultimately the decision, because I'm the leader of the home, is on me.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

What has to happen, men, I want you to listen to me. If you are not being led by the high shepherd, you can't make solid decisions.

unknown 7:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

My wife has to have faith in the fact that I am in being led, and therefore we're in godly, we're in a godly decision-making platform or space. And you know, I was, I was, I took some notes earlier um when I was thinking about this, about what is a godly man, and you know, in Genesis 2.15, and I turned here, the Lord took the man and placed him in the Garden of Eden to work and to watch over it. Yeah, it's the same principle in your home. You know, I we do a whole lot of premarital counseling, uh, young couples, sometimes couples has been married a long time. Um, and one of the things I always tell them, you know, because there's this culture, and I believe it started um, you know, in the late 1800s, early on, 1900s, that the woman is supposed to take care of the home. Well, biblically, in in Proverbs 31, that is true. But it's not her just her home, yeah, it's our home, it's your home. We have different um roles to play in our home. Yeah, but when it comes to cooking dinner, we cook together. When we clean, we clean together. When we do laundry, she does laundry. Uh but um this is the this is the thing. Just because you know, the I see this a lot in young men. Well, that's a woman's job. No, no, when you get married, that is your one flesh, and that is your home. Yeah. When I read this, he gave him, he put him in the Garden of Eden to work and watch over it. My job in our home is to oversight and to over and to watch over our home. I am spiritually responsible for the climate in my home.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

And that means, therefore, you know, I'm to be teaching my children, I'm to be leading my wife. I I'm responsible for that home. There are so many men out there today that they leave everything to their wife. Yeah. They're going to play golf. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with golf. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with hobbies. What I'm saying is they're leaving their wife to be the slave of the home while they're out with their friends and playing hot rods. Right. You know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

And it's this is a such a huge topic in followers of Jesus that we're tired of seeing this emasculating. Yes. And I love that you chose that scripture because we can look at that, and we and we know that Eve was came from Adam. God put him to sleep, took out his rib, and made Eve. Yeah, and in that, we have to think about okay, God didn't just like, okay, I'm gonna put you to sleep. You're not gonna feel any pain. In the beginning of man, we were experiencing suffering and pain because there had to be a healing process. We suffered and we were in pain for our women. And you go into that, and it's you do these things with your wife, you help her, she helps you because there are days when I get I give everything I've got, and she helps me on the thing. Like I give 80%, and there's those days that I can only give her that 20. Yep, and it's that it's that flow. Women were not designed to make all the decisions, keep the house clean, make sure the kids are everywhere at once, and when you come into a union, you gotta share that.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Man, one of the problems we've seen since, especially since about the 50s, is single mother households. And then we wonder why our our young boys grow up and don't know how to be men because they're being raised by women. Yeah and and and kudos to all the single mothers out there. I am grateful that you have stepped up, but here's the problem: men need to step up, yes, and and and walk in their responsibility. You know, Micah 6.8 says to to do justly, love mercifully, and walk humbly. This is what he's telling. And then the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians uh chapter 16, he says, be watchful, stand firm, and act like men. Yes, the problem with America today is not here's the deal: women have been forced into this role by men that don't know how to act like a man. And it's I wrote this down, a godly man is not defined by strength alone, but by a surrendered strength under God's authority. You have to have an authority above you that is leading you. The problem is too many men today have built a throne to themselves, a throne to their work, a throne to the mighty dollar. And they think because they're providing that they're being a godly man. No, you're not. That's right. You know, we uh we had and uh Victoria and I were with a couple uh a couple years ago, doing life with them, trying to help them. This man was a great provider, one of the best I've ever seen, to be honest. His wife was running everything else, and she was so worn out because she was being mom and dad.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Now, granted, anything they wanted financially was there. But she made the statement to me and Victoria one time, she said, I'd rather he go work at McDonald's and be a dad. Yeah. That resonated so deep into my spirit. It's not about what you do. No, it's not, it's not about how much you make. Do we have to have money to live? Of course we do. I work, you work. Yeah. We're we're it's biblical. He he designed us to work. Exactly. But there's so much more to being a godly husband and father than just what your paycheck or your bank account shows.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yes, I I agree. And that and that provider mindset, I believe, is such a block for men. We a lot of men, I won't say we, but they go out and they provide and they they work and they make the financials, and they put money in the bank. But then when they come home, it's well, I've provided, I've done my job. Come on. That's only part of your job. You you walk in the door, whatever, whatever you did at work, and that you you have a second job. You have to carry in, you are the shepherd of your home. Come on, man. So you can't just come home and well, I worked, you know, it's 60 hours a week. What are you doing? That there's there's not, you know, dinner on the table, the house isn't clean. Bro, look at the way that Jesus led his ministry. Yes, he was out doing all of these things, but he was also shepherding the disciples. And it is in the same way, yeah, you should be out here at your work, teaching the gospel, spreading it the best way that you can in your work, but also your first kingdom is your home. Come on, man. And if she's tired, if she's exhausted, hey, let me help you out.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Your first ministry is at home. Yeah. Your first ministry, and you've heard me say this as a pastor of a church. I will never walk up on that pulpit if things at my home are not right. Yeah, I have no business leading someone else or teaching or preaching if my heart is not right at home. And you know, it that is very important to me. That we come in, I cannot step onto a into the pulpit if there is not peace in my home. Yeah, it's it's counterintuitive. I'm telling, I'm trying to sit here and tell you how you could have peace, but I can't do it myself. That's that's hypocritical. Yes. You hear me? And and this is this is what I see. And I don't want to go ahead and I didn't know that I was gonna go down this path today, but here we go. I am so tired of seeing people operate in gifts, especially men, operate in gifts. They've got the power to pray in tongues, they've got the power to prophesy, but they don't have the power to help their wives. They don't have the power to step out of what they think is not their role and lead their own home, and they don't have the power to control their own tongue, right? The same power that gives you the power to speak in tongues and to prophesy and to lay hands is the same power to help you keep your mouth shut and lead your wife and be tender and loving to her, and that is such an issue in the world today. It is, it is mind-blowing to me uh when I see that. You know, how can I go up and and and preach a sermon if I'm treating my wife like crap? I'm not doing what Christ has called me to do, and this is what's so mind-blowing. Most people don't even know this. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell a woman to love their husbands. Nowhere. Fact check me. Yeah, it tells the husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church. The wives are to respect and honor their husbands, and we are to love them like Christ loved the church. And you just said something a while ago that just made me think for all you guys that don't know how to cook, Jesus cooked for his disciples. Learn how to. Um I was just thinking when that ran through, but a godly man loves sacrificially.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Um, and I want you to, if you can't lead yourself, you're gonna damage everyone around you trying to lead them. Yeah, you have to learn to lead yourself. And you know, you and I have had some really candid conversations about leading churches. You've got to learn how to lead your home before you can leave church. God gives us a training ground in our own home before he ever calls us to be shepherds of anything else. And I didn't know that I was gonna address this today either, but listen, for all you people that are looking at your pastors, wanting them to feed you, it's not the shepherd's job to feed you. I need you to read Psalm 23. A shepherd leads you. You've got to bend your own neck down sometime, quit being a stiff-necked people and eat for yourself. Anyway, that was Holy Ghost, and that was free.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

You know, I've been I've been listening to uh great man of God that has come through so much. And he he was talking about something that you just preached on, and he took a different approach at it because our our main goal as disciples of Jesus is to be him in the wholeness and the fullness, so we have to have the compassion, we have to have the tenderness, we have to have the sacrifice, and we have to have that hunger because we have to have that hunger to where anytime that we're not in the house, we're in the word. And this is all in leading your house and leading your wife. If she sees you on your face praying, she's gonna be like, okay, well, that that's what I need to do. If she sees you in your word anytime you're at home or watching different things, it's all on what you're what you feed yourself is going to feed into her because what you feed yourself is gonna feed into this house. Yes, so it is all on how hungry are you for him?

SPEAKER_00 21:36

It also let's let's run this rabbit while it's hot. What your children see you do. We all, you know, most parents they want their kids to pray over a meal or pray before they go to bed. Are they seeing you pray any other time? Right? Are they seeing Seeing you in your word any other time. Listen, you know, people think it's crazy that I opened my daughter's doors. They I've had people look at me like I have lost my ever-loving mind, I'm sure. But how are my daughters ever supposed to know how a man's supposed to treat them if I'm not treating them that way and they don't see me treat their mother that way? You know, Kidley at 12 years old will stand in the rain and wait for me to open her door. Why? Because I have taught her that a man opens the door for her.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Yeah, you're you're exactly right. And it's funny you brought up that point up because for years I tried to get my wife to be like, let me open the door for you. Let me when you're getting out of the car, let me open the door for you. It wasn't until she had that identity of who she is. She's a princess in the kingdom. Amen. So now it gets to like I would have to fight with her and be like, come on, just let me let me honor you, let me serve you. But now it's you're right. She'll stand in the cold in the rain. Yep. I I'm a princess, and you're gonna treat me like this. Yes. Because she knows her identity.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yeah. And if they do listen, you know, our daughters, mine and Victoria's daughters, I had to, it was my job to show them how a man is supposed to treat them. And they watch how I treat their mother. They watch how I read my word, how I pray, how I treat them, how I treat others, how I operate. They watch everything. And and now that they have grown up some, they understand. Well, what my purpose in this is, is they're going to be looking for a godly man. They're not losing. They've got to have expectations. And when they go, when they start dating, then they're they have this, they know innately, if that young man is not treating them the way I treated their mother, hey, something's not right here. His heart's not after Jesus. Right. And that's what we're doing. We're raising these children to know this is how you act as a man. Even though I'm raising girls, they still, you know, one of these days they're gonna marry somebody. Yeah. And I I used to I used to laugh years ago. Hannah had a boy show up at the house, and he knocks on the door and he comes to the door with a dog collar and a dog leash hanging off the collar on his neck and ask if my daughter is home. She was literally sitting right there, and I'm like, nope, and shut the door. She's like, That's my honey, you ain't you can get you a dog, but that ain't him.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Exactly. And it's the purpose of leading because they see how you treat her. Come on, man. But in return, they see how she treats you. Yes. And how they how they are supposed to treat someone that honors them and loves them. And it's it's having that expectation, but also in return.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Man, God, a godly man protects what God has given them. You know, whether it's his home, purity, his assignment, his spiritual life, they protect that. They hold that with high value. Um, and and I want to go ahead and say this. I said it just now, his purity. One of the greatest pieces of advice that Victoria and I got when God called us into the ministry is you have to you have to protect your integrity above all. And that goes way beyond just what happens in the church. That goes, that is across your life. Men, if you're listening to this, your integrity and your purity will carry you or destroy you. Those those texts with a co-worker of the opposite sex, dangerous. Don't give the devil a foothold. Hear me. Oh, it's just a cup of coffee. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not. You want to have, I never meet, ever, and you know this. Yeah, you're in my life. You know, you're in my circle. I never meet with a woman without my wife or another man with me. Uh, and I don't do, I don't even do that. I've only, I don't even do that. It's a safeguard I have, but I don't do it. My wife is every text message between me and another woman, my wife is in the thread.

unknown 27:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Why? Because my integrity and also it it gives my wife a sense of security. I don't the last thing I want her to do is ever doubt.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

And it's about honoring her. You know, and in because you will have times that the enemy will show up exactly the way you want, what's attractive to you. Oh, yeah. And what will happen in those moments is you will, if you are weak, if you've not been in here, if things are, you have to give, you have to protect that purity with everything. You know, I mean, I have friends that, but they're mine and victorious friends. I never just go meet with women. I don't ever go talk to women without my wife being present.

unknown 28:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Because I don't want anybody to have that perception. It's you've got to protect that. Nehemiah 4.14 says that you fight for your families. If you you can you can have the the biggest church in the state of Virginia or United States, but if you're not fighting for your family, it's all for nothing. Yeah, it's a fact. Um, and I want to I want to go ahead and and talk about this. A passive man. Passive men are dangerous because they're they have no idea who they are. They're following off somebody else's coattail. Yes, and they're dangerous to everything that they touch. You have to know, you know, I I don't know, you're you're a country guy, but there used to be uh a song, you you, I don't know how is it though, you um if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yeah, and it's true. And it's funny you brought that up because like uh growing up, uh my dad was gone a lot, and uh he was a truck driver, he drove over the road during this time, and there was some stuff going on with me, and he sat me down, and we had, I mean, we did we had one of those big 80s uh entertainment centers on. He sat me down and he made me listen to that song, and and he was like, You've got to stand for something or you're gonna fall for everything. Passive men don't know who they are, amen. They don't know their identity, that they're just cruising through life hoping for the best. Because if you don't know your authority and you don't know who you are, then when that person meets you and your wife in the parking garage and holds you at gunpoint or holds her at gunpoint, you're not gonna stand.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

I call those Cinderella men. They're waiting on the glass slipper. Yeah, they're waiting on you. Men are called to put your boots on and lace up. Yeah, don't wait on. If you are waiting on this uh fairy tale, guess what you're gonna get? Nothing but a fairy and a tail. You're not going, you have to go do something. And these men today, you know, you and I encounter a lot of them. They they're they they're satisfied with just good enough with their comfort, right? I one of my friends in Kentucky pointed this out one time, and it was so profound. He said, You know what happened to American society? And I said, What? And he said, Men got a chair called a lazy boy. He said, I'm not a lazy boy, I'm a godly man. And he literally went home and he had a lazy boy recliner and he threw it outside in the garbage and got a set up standard chair.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

He said, I'm not gonna get comfortable, and I loved that because it's true, yeah, 100%, because when Jesus told the disciples to go and to get into the boat, yep, he had to persuade them. Yes, I'm gonna be here doing taking care of this. I need you to go and do this. And you know, there there was conversations between them, and no, we want we want to stay, and he said no, but in that moment, he they had no idea, he knew that he was sending them into a store. And people want ministries with a fat check, but it takes the stepping out, you Simon, Simon Peter, he knew everything there was about boats and fishing, yes, but in faith he got out of it, he stepped out into the end now. That's good. We have to step out of our comfort zones because that is where the breakthrough happens, and even in leading our family, when there could be something that is a little bit, we don't really know much about it, but our wives are looking at us like, what do we do here? I need you to have faith in me, I need you to trust me. Because there have been times in our walk together where I've come to you and I'm like, I don't know what to do here. And that's you're shepherding me, you're helping me. It's no different. My wife has come to me. Well, what can what can we do about this? Well, we have to put it in his hands ultimately, and that's all of shepherding her, guarding her. Honey, don't worry about the finances. Let me worry about the finances. And that's part of just our roles as men is we have to have complete and utter faith in him and trust him. Okay, God, you pulled me out of this, or you're you're putting me through this storm or this season. I know you're not gonna, you net you didn't leave me right where you found me.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

He didn't leave you where he found you. Nope. And he's not going to, because once it takes that step of faith to get uncomfortable, and that's where it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Well, in it's a you know, John, I think it's in, let me look it up. John 15 says, Apart from me you can do nothing. And we have, you know, in a marriage, when you come into covenant with in a marriage, God created that woman to be your helpmate. The problem sometimes is we don't we don't pull on what their gifts are, you know. In my marriage, look, I understand finances, but I don't do them. Yeah, Victoria has a gift in that. I recognized it. Let her do it. Yeah, you know, I don't, it doesn't, and there's been times, and this will blow people's minds. There's been times that I can't lead. Yeah, I'm tired. I'm there's things going on in my life, and I have looked at her more than once and said, You got the reins. And I follow her, not giving, dumping everything on her, but I've got to get through this, I've got to heal, I've got to, whatever the situation is, until I'm able to take back over, and and we seamlessly transition in this thing because we understand our roles as in our marriage, and we understand our identities and we understand each other's weaknesses and strengths. Yeah, and there are there are times, and it hasn't happened often, but there's been times in our marriage, I'm like, babe, if I make a decision right now, it's gonna be wrong. Part of that, almost every time, it's been me not being led by the Lord.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

Um, because I've got into flesh, I've got into world, I've got into, and and and I can say that it's not that I'm giving people excuses, but I can say it because most people won't say it. They want you to, they want to portray that everything's perfect. I have learned it's in my weakness he's strong. Yeah, and so when I admit that, hey, look, I've not been here, I've not been on my face like I should, or I've not, the world will start to show up. And then there's and then all of a sudden I start, I can always, this is crazy, and me and Victoria have talked about it. I can always see where my relationship with God is by my relationship with her. I can if if her and I are struggling, it's not a her issue, it never is. It's a me and God issue that I have somewhere, and somebody told me this one time, and it made so much sense to me. When I start drifting, go back to the last place he was at and see where I turned wrong, he didn't want me wrong. No, and usually that's almost a hundred percent of the time that's where it's been. I have made a wrong turn and I've gotten a lot better throughout the years, but I I still have problems. You know, it's not about are you living flawless, it's about who's leading you. And I can go back to those times and look at it, and I'm like, Matt, I most of the time this is what happens in my life, and I can't speak for everybody. I made a decision without his counsel. And you said this earlier, me shepherding you. I want I want all of our listeners to know. Listen, I got one too. Every, I if you are a pastor and you don't have a pastor, you're out of the will of God. Hear me. I don't care if you like it or don't like it. Every pastor has a pastor, every shepherd has a higher shepherd, Jesus is the ultimate shepherd. Just because I'm pastoring you does not mean I've got it all together. It means I'm going to my pastor. Right. And I'm going to them and saying, hey, I don't know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

And with that, we have to stop. The church has to stop putting our pastors on such this high pedestal that they are in, you know, they're so perfect, and their their life is expected to, they're human. Amen. They're gonna they struggle with the same things that we do, but it you it's something that you've taught me is if you're the most spiritual person in the room, get in a different room. Get in a different room, get in a different room because you're not gaining anything. Now it's it's good to shepherd other people, but you need shepherding as well because they came to the upper room. Yep, and that is where they gained what they had. Yes, and I can't, it's man, you're not on an island. There are there are men that are going through the same things that you're going through, and they go by this book right here, and it's such an it's such an amazing thing that I and I I said this the other day, we have to have our Mac carriers. Because I can come to you, Aaron, and and I can be like, look, I I I'm really struggling with this, and we'll figure it out together. But we're we're gonna we're gonna bring it to to him first and Lord, where where should we go with this? Yep. If you don't have those men in your life that you can be raw with, that you can share these things with, find them.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Yes. If I'm and I say this in church, out of church, whatever, if I'm the smartest in the room, I need to find a different room. I'm not gonna grow if I'm the smartest in the room. Same way the spiritual. If if I am the most spiritual in the room, there's times we'll go to an area, a dark area, you know, we do a lot of outreach in our church, and yeah, we may be the most godly people in the in the area, but that's not we're we're there to bring them up to a level with us because I want I don't want to be the most spiritual in the room. I want, well, careful how I say that, but I want to be around people that are causing me to stretch and grow. Yeah, you know, I have those men in my life. You do too. You know, one just tried to call me um while we're on a podcast. Um, anyway, but those men hold me accountable. I mean, this this message, I'm gonna read it and I'm not gonna name them. I watched the service from you guys yesterday and I laughed because I saw what God did, and it was so important for you and Victoria's growth. This is how revival will do you because you're growing into his church, not our church. Yeah, that is so important. You know, yesterday during our service, um, you want to talk about just being led. My wife and I were going to teach, uh we had we hadn't something laid out, but the Holy Ghost sat in the room and began to to move, and I had to walk up to her. And I, if you watch our service online, I leaned over and I said, I just need you to flow right now with me. I was like, He's in the room. That sermon's out the door. Yeah, it's the same thing, you know, a godly man will be led by by God Himself, and there's things, you know. Um, I I had a bunch of notes here, and I'm trying to go through it, but I want you to. This is one of them that I wrote down. You're not just raising kids or building a career, you're fighting for a destiny. You're I want to touch on this before we get off this thing. I can walk up to 95%. You've heard me say this. 95% of men in this world today, and I'll say, tell me about yourself, and the first thing out of their mouth is they'll tell me what they do. Yeah, that is not who you are. It's when you learn that you are a child of the most high, when you learn your identity in him, I promise you, the first thing out of your mouth is not what you do. No, you know, and and this was something God really worked on me on because I was I was that guy. I'm telling you, whether it was the hardware business or it was uh a caretaker, whatever, I was always that was what that's what came out of my mouth. And and my father in heaven corrected me as a father would. He said, I am that is not that's how you get a paycheck, yeah. And it's it comes from me anyway. You are my son, and I I I see this all the time. I I was talking to a guy the other day, and I was like, he was from Rhode Island, he had the craziest accent, and here we are in Central Virginia, and I'm from Western Kentucky, and so the Rhode Island accent was standing out like a sore thumb. And I'm like, Where are you from? And I said, Tell me about yourself. And the first thing he went into was his career. That's how you make money. And I sat there and I listened for a few minutes and I said, That's awesome. Now tell me about you, and it's Stumped him. Like he didn't know what to say. And he goes, What do you mean? I just did. I said, No, you told me about your career. Tell me about you. And then you could almost see the light bulb come on. And he was like, Oh, well, I'm married to the same woman for 43 years. I've got two children. They're at Liberty University. And I said, Okay, again, let's back up. Tell me a little bit more about you. And before we got through with the conversation, he began to tell me about his experience with the Lord. And I was like, there is who you are. Yeah. And he was like, he walks out, he comes back, and he just stands there, and he reminded me of this old, like, if you ever if you ever saw like the Sopranos, he was an old mafia guy. I'm like, I'm convinced of it. So he was this hard man, but you know, he was like, Thank you for that. Yeah. He said, I'm going home and and I'm gonna look at that. And I'm like, man, I'm telling you, that's how the Lord worked on me.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

It comes down to our identity, and I've had conversations with people. Uh, they struggle with their identity because they're like, okay, well, I'm this is my job, and I have this many kids, and I'm married to this person. That's not who you are. No, it's not. I love how Jesus takes us from the trash heap of life, yeah, and you have this transition. Look at the people that he went to, the the low of the low, and then he brings them. You are now a part of a kingdom. You are a priest and a prophet. Look at that transition.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

Learning that you are a kingly priest is wild. I mean, you know, we have we're we're blessed, and and he will be a guest sometime soon. But we have we have a guy in our church, his name is Shad, and he does one of the best teachings I've ever seen on Kingly priesthood. But there again, that's who you are, that's your identity. And our identity, you know, okay, if my identity is only being Victoria's husband, what happens when she dies? You die with her. I'm done. Toast. You know, this is something that people don't think about. And, you know, okay, I'm I'm all these children's fathers. Well, guess what? Most of them are all but one has moved out of the house. That Victoria and I talk about this a lot with couples, and so I want, we're gonna close with this, I think. The way that you operate in your family, if you have children, will change the trajectory of your life. And I'm saying that to say this. There are so many parents that let their children rule the household, or whatever the kids have got going on is the most important thing. They lose their identity. Victoria and I did for a long time. It was, oh, you're you're you're Kinley's dad, mom, you're you're Hannah's, you're Jake's, Reed's, whatever, right? Matea. Oh, you're Matea's mom.

unknown 47:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

You're Matea's dad. No, no, no, no. Yes, I am, but that's not I mean, I mean, and what happens is those children start to transition out, and the mom and dad haven't communicated in 18, 20 years, and that's why you see so many divorces as soon as the kids get out. Because now they're left at home and they don't even know how to talk to each other. Yeah, you're exactly, and then they've learned that they've grown apart throughout the years and they are so different in their life because the mom has been going to soccer practice, dad's been going to work, and they have nothing in common. You know, Victoria and I, and I encourage people, listen, and look, I get it, life gets busy. My life is insanely busy, but it's still so vital for me to take the time to spend with my wife. Saturday afternoon, you and I, we really needed to do this, right? Yeah. I told you I need to go spend some time with my wife. I get home, her and I, this is not our time that we did. We literally laid in our recliner for about an hour, took a nap on top of each other, but we got up and then we went to a local little uh ice cream shop in our town we live in, and we sat, had ice cream, and talked. Yeah, and nothing about the church, nothing about our kids, about us talking to each other and talking about what we're, you know, hey, what's going on? You know, and even though we see each other all the time, it is so important for married couples to go on dates. Yes. I I've got to run with this, and then I'm I'm gonna promise I'm gonna quit for all of our listeners, whatever. Um, I want I want to take you to 1 Corinthians 14. And if you see my Bible, it is marked all up because this chapter it's about the gifts of the Spirit, but I want you to understand something. The previous chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, is known as the marriage chapter, the love chapter. It has nothing to do with marriages, but anyway, but it says pursue love. I pursue my wife. I I pray here's another little freebie. Men pray with your wife. I'm not talking about at dinner, and I'm not talking about, I'm talking about pray for her out loud, in her own presence every day. My wife will tell you the most intimate moments that we have is not in our bedroom. Our most intimate moments are in our, we have what we call our get ready room, in our get ready room, praying for each other. I grab her, I pray for her safety, her protection, that her day is blessed, that she has divine appointments, that she walks in the Holy Ghost all day long. Pursue love. Pursue your wife. Chase after her like you did when you were dating. Just because you caught her, come on, doesn't mean you stop chasing her. I pursue her because I want her, not only do I want her to know that I love her, but I want her to feel pursued. Yeah, I want her to have that the too many people they get married and they start living on opposite ends of the house and all the that is crazy. Crazy. It is young men, listen to me. If you are if you're young and you're gonna get married, keep pursuing your wife. Old men, listen to me. Okay, if you've been married 50 years, pursue your wife, chase her, show her that you love her, buy her flowers, let her know that she is wanted. In today's culture, women are so. You said this yesterday to open up our service at church. I could not imagine being a woman. The pressure on a woman today to look a certain way, to walk a certain way, to weigh a certain weight is insane. Yeah, they should know from their husbands that they're desired, that they're loved, that they're cherished, because Christ did that for us. So, anyway, um, wrapping up, uh, we're glad we're grateful. Keep sharing. I am so Tony and I were talking pre-service church yesterday. I'm blown away by the traction that this thing is getting already. So keep keep sharing. It is about getting the gospel of Jesus Christ out and learning your kingdom authority. Uh, next week we're gonna talk about some more authority business. I uh but we we we love you guys. Um, also, I want to give a little plug to our church. Uh our this this podcast is sponsored by Freedom Fire Church. Um, you can find us on all the stuff. Uh he's the media guy, I don't know. You can find us on all the stuff, YouTube, Facebook, um, our website, Freedom Fire Church app. Get on our app, but share this podcast, share it with people. Um, even if they're gonna hate us for it, share it. Uh, we love you. Father, we love you. We thank you. I thank you that you gave us authority to point and to be the light in this time frame because the light is pouring through us, it's pouring through us. You gave us authority to walk in. So, Father, as we do these podcasts, as it goes out for years and years to come, God, let it be a blessing into someone's life. Let it be good seed in good soil. We thank you for it. We thank you for the finished work of the cross, but most of all the empty tomb, because that's where our hope is at. I thank you for Tony and the servanthood that he has, the behind the scenes work that nobody ever sees, but you do. Lord, just continue to bless him for it in Jesus' name. Amen. Love you guys.