#CLRJ - CLR GRATITUDE JOURNAL on 20-07-2026 (CLRJCLRGJ20072026)

CHRISTOPHER LIAM ROSE JOURNAL (CLRJ)

E83 - #CLRJ - CLR GRATITUDE JOURNAL on 20-07-2026 (CLRJCLRGJ20072026)

CHRISTOPHER LIAM ROSE TALKS ABOUT #CLRJ - CLR GRATITUDE JOURNAL on 20-07-2026 (CLRJCLRGJ20072026)

#ChristopherLiamRoseJournal #CLRJ #Journal #ChristopherLiamRose #Christianity #Buddhism #Faith #Spirituality #Fate #Religion #SpiritualChange #SpiritualEnlightenment #TheNoSelf #Selflessness #KnowThyelf #Jehovah #JesusChrist #Buddha #Podcast #Spiritual #Eternal #Timeless #Sacred #StoryTelling #SpiritualLifeLessons 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello everyone, my name is Christopher Liam Rose. I'm an author, mentor, life coach, motivation speaker, evangelist, musician, and activist. Today I'm going to be sharing my gratitude journal for the 20th of the 7th, 2026. And I've been sharing my gratitude journal to process my thoughts, my feelings and emotions, and also how my days been today. So it's a way of um me sharing my thoughts, my feelings and emotions, and how my days been. So I always try my best to do gratitude journals when I can. So today um I think I've had to be at work today. So normally on Mondays, I I'm in the office on Mondays. So I worked, I think today between 9 o'clock and 5 o'clock today. This is part of my main role as a peer support coordinator within Saturn IRH teams, um providing peer support um within the work we do. So for clients, for carers, for peer support workers and peer support career support workers as well. So we always try to, as a peer support coordinator, do your best to run the service, support the team, um, then make sure that the clients and the carers are getting the right support, and obviously the most important thing is providing that peer support within the community to clients and carers in the community. Um today work has been fine. Um I've worked from 9 to 5. Um obviously sometimes when I work, um, obviously I'm you know I'm normally in the office when I work, so if I'm gonna do something that's very important that needs a bit more of my attention, then sometimes I have to leave the office to get somewhere quiet. And um I'm not saying that offices are good or offices are bad, you know, depending on where you work and depending on what area of work you're doing. Um I find most of the time when I'm in offices it's a bit noisy, it's a lot of like conversations and talking, and for me I try to focus on like what is important, and um I think it's always that same you know, understanding and learning that I I do when I'm either in the office or in the community, which is focus on the clients, focus on the carers, and focus on how you can support them and how you can look after them, and that's very important. It's a really important quality. So looking after the clients, looking after the carers, and how you can support them. So that helps when you're in um different office environments and it helps when you're in the community, because um, you know each job is different and depending on what work you do, um you may find a little bit of like um I'll say a little bit of um like I'll say gratitude and appreciation when sometimes you I'm not and this I don't want it to come across the rude as I'm saying this, I'm just trying to share my gratitude to you for today. Sometimes when you I don't want to say this in a rude way, though it's come across the rude, but sometimes when you um should I say like um distance yourself from if everything that's happening in the office, you know, depending on where it is, okay, it can be completely different for different people. When you just when you just like um disconnect from it and you focus on okay, why am I here? What's the purpose of me being in work? You know, what is my duty? What is my role? What's important? Why am I in this job? Why am I doing this? What's gonna support me to do the role more effectively? How can I focus my mind on supporting the clients and the carers and also the team? And sometimes when you're in the office, you have to constantly say that to yourself. You have to remind yourself of why you're there, you know, what is your reason? Um, why are you working in that environment, you know? And that's uh it's like a it goes back to what I've said previously before, it's like a you have to change that perspective of things. I'm not saying it's okay or it's not okay to, you know, enjoy your work in the office and enjoy what you do. Um some people, yes, it's it's very you know, work is very enjoyable and they get a lot of sort of satisfaction and pleasure from it. But I've learned when you when you're more of a spiritual person, and it takes it takes a lot to become a spiritual person, but when you're more of a spiritual person, it's more about you know why are you there, you know, what's gonna support you to support the team and support the clients and the carers, and what's gonna support you in the work you're doing, you know, how how how can you sort of um I'll say realign your work to you know specifically what you're doing, and that becomes it's a very it's like a subtle change most of the time because um I don't wanna say this in a rude way to like say it in a rude way, but a lot of people I don't want to say this in a rude way neither, that's why I'm trying to just prevent myself from saying something that's a bit rude, but like a lot of people just want enjoyment and fun and sort of excitement in their work, and I think it's okay to have that, it's that's not an issue, you know. Um but I think it sort of comes back to like what's important, and I think that's when things a bit change, and it changes, it changes a lot when you just focus on what's important. So today at work was fine. Um I think I had to do a presentation um today, so basically, um I'm trying to prepare for a presentation that I have to deliver within the next I think it's two weeks now or three weeks now, and um the reason why I said in the podcast and the audio, sometimes you have to distance yourself and be someone that's quiet is because basically if I was in the office um practicing my presentation, which I'm preparing for, then I can't focus on what's important in the presentation because of the noise and the distractions. So I'm not saying that like um don't be in the office, like don't don't work with with your colleagues and your team. I mean I'm not saying that if if if you get like satisfaction and enjoyment from that, then that's completely fine. That's that's understandable. But when you want to do something that's very important, you you have to separate yourself, and it's a tricky, it's very tricky to do that. Um even from like my experience, it's very tricky, it's it's not easy at all. Um it's quite tricky actually. Um but um yeah. So I did basically practicing my presentation today. It took a took a bit of time because I'm trying to make sure I can deliver it um to the best of my ability when that opportunity comes. So practicing, recording, um trying to edit um some of my like vocals within the presentation and also the way I speak. So just editing, improving, trying to condense things to make it more manageable to to present. So um, yeah, um sometimes you have to be silent in order to practice, and that's what I learned today with the presentation. Just just just what I would say is just distance yourself from the office and go somewhere quiet if you wanna do work that's very important for you, you know. Um also today I I think I attended a dime meeting, which is basically normal. I have to attend a dime meeting every day. Um just a normal part of my my work and what I do. Um sorry, just give me a sec. Yeah, sorry about that. I had to just basically get a delivery. Um normally um I shop on eBay and Amazon, so sometimes if if especially if I'm recording or um you know at home the deliveries come to my address, so I had to just pick up the item of you know what was delivered to me, so um, which is fine. And sometimes I put it in the bathroom window because my bathroom window is bigger than the letterbox. So when it's big deliveries, they'll post it through the bathroom window. Then when I come in from work, I normally have to check my bathroom to see if the delivery is there. But this specific delivery it just came to my door and then I collected it, and um, which is completely fine, which is okay. Um, so when I was at work, I uh bought a journal. I normally buy journals most of the time because I'm always journaling every single day. Um, journaling is a habit that I learn, you know, quite importantly for me, you know, and um it's become a habit. It's like every day I would journal, it doesn't matter like what I'm doing in the day or like what's happening in the day. I spend time in journaling. And I think now I I don't know how many journals I have, I have quite a few journals that I've written in. And um basically all these journals have like stuff that I've written in for many years. So my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, my days, um, some some of the learning that I I've learned, or the understanding that I've gained, some of my insights. There's so many different things I write about. So just making that habit of journaling is was very important to me, and it always is. That's why I and I make the effort to journal every single day, and I keep I keep focusing on that. It's quite important. I bought some um I think I think it's black Chino trousers, so these are just trousers I've been buying online. Um, I think I previously I bought a green one, orange one, and a beige one. So I'm just buying more trousers just to make sure you know I've got enough um trousers to wear. So um and I also bought a traveling uh bag, so extra large trap traveling bags. So basically what happened was is when yes what was it yesterday? No, yesterday was Sundays and it's a Saturday, I was in the community, uh obviously doing the work I normally do, which is like helping other people, giving them back and making a difference, and as I was basically in the community, so I wasn't at home, I was just at work, and my bag it broke. So when my bag broke, I was thinking I need a bag because the zip's broken, and I can't go to places with my equipment without my bag. So what I had to do was I had to find a shop to go to, and obviously, in the shop that I went to they had a bag, and I just purchased the bag. But with with when it comes to the bags in particular, I normally get on Amazon, so even though I purchased the bag from the local, I don't know if it was a grocery store or just they sell things within that shop. I bought the bag of course. I think I pay paid like £14, £15 for it. And then after when I came home, I wanted to buy another bag because it's not I I normally get my bags on Amazon like I normally said, so just having the idea to buy the new bag will help me a lot because I I always need my equipment wherever I go in the community, and just having a new bag will help to obviously support me with my equipment and travelling on the bus, on the train, on the troops, or wherever I'm working or basically going. So that's why I bought a new bag. It's not I already got a bag, of course. I already got a bag, but I needed a new one, so I just decided to buy one. Um, I topped up my pensions, I've always been topping up my pensions every day for these last couple of days now. So I topped up um £15 in my set pension, Ava pension, um, and now the total current value of it is £862.45. So it's growing. Um I've only been recently topping up money every single day, so it's amazing how it's grown. Like it's not it's not been like a quick process, it's been quite a steady process, but it's like that habit of putting in money every single day and not touching it, because when I put the money in, I don't touch it, I'd leave it. Um makes a lot of difference, and it's just growing, it's it's it's growing in a what an amazing way, it really is. Just it's just amazing, and um, it's good, it's it's good that it's growing, like the finances. I topped up my pension B account, which is my other pension that I have, and I've got more than one pension that I've topped up. So I've topped up um £12.50, which is normally um I think it's like £10 plus the tax relief. So my total um value of um my pension B account at the moment is £4,369. So just recently in my pension B account, I had to top up. Um, I think what happened was there was a there's a pension that I had that was waiting to be added to my pension B account, and then just a couple of days ago it got added, and now my finances have grown, so it's even grown more than I thought it would grow. So it's it's it's very weird because um so it's just a couple this has all been happening like literally a couple of months, it's it's not been long at all, it's been quite short actually. But um, yeah, the finances are growing, and um, you know, it's it's it's good when you know you do have finances because you know situations can happen when you don't. So just to know it's money that's there that I'm not gonna touch, that's available if I need it, you know, it's quite important for me actually, you know. Um, like I said, I did the recording, uh uploaded my presentation actually to the Moogle um online for the university that I'm attending at the moment, City St. George's University. So normally you have to upload your work online for them to see it and mark it and grade it. So that was the reason why I uploaded it online. The reason why I did it today is because I know during the week I'm not gonna have the time. So sometimes even today, I was I was thinking I was gonna stay at work longer today and just stay there a bit later, and I thought um I've already done what I needed to do because I did it earlier within the day, so I don't necessarily need to stay longer if I already did what I need to do. So um, you know, that that this was quite important because if I didn't upload it now, I wouldn't have had the time. So sometimes you have to make that commitment and um just just do it, sort of thing. It's quite important actually, and just make that commitment to do it, sort of thing. Um I'm gonna share some spiritual life lessons that I've learnt today. At the moment, uh recently within my journals, for my gratitude journals especially, I've been writing the spiritual life lessons that I learned. So every day I try to learn new things throughout the day. Process information, learn, understand, try and you know, see what I can learn and understand, or just just just just basically learn basically. Um, so let's share some of the spiritual life lessons that I learned today. Reflection is learning understanding. So I've actually learned that quite a long time ago, but the reflection is learning and understanding. How do you reflect? You know, take the time to reflect, don't always just be busy, busy, busy, busy. Like make time to reflect and learn as you go. Writing down your spiritual intentions is important for daily action. Um your spiritual intentions is important for daily action. This is a habit that I only learnt recently. I only I've only learned it re I I wasn't doing it before, only till recently. So normally it's normally at the beginning of my day, I would think, what's my plan for today? What what am I gonna do throughout the day? And then instead of me actively just working in the day just as normal, you just work, work, work, and you plan it. So you're gonna do this, you're gonna do that, you're gonna do this, you're gonna be here, you're gonna work like this, and you're going to do this. Planning is the first step to action. So you plan and then you take the action. You don't take the action and then plan after. That's what a lot of people do. They take the actions and then they plan after. But when you take the actions about planning and making sure you know what you're doing, that's where the mistakes happen, that's where the confusion happens. So sometimes, even if it takes like five or ten minutes throughout your day, just plan, then take action, plan, then take action, plan, then take action, and that'll slowly show your intentions of what you actually want to do in the day. Each day will be different, you have different things you want to do, but plan, take action, and that will increase your daily actions throughout the day. Plan and take action works both together. So you mean you plan and take action, they work both together. So you can't just always be taking action without the planning, like I just said. So you have to plan, then take action. Plan what you want to do first, set your intention for the day. Things happen throughout the day, things might change throughout the day, but when you've got that plan, set that intention, you start taking actions towards it. And it's it's simple, it sounds very simple, but it's very difficult to do if you're always working, working, working without taking the necessarily the time to plan, take action, and then focus on what's important to you. So just make that into a habit, make it into a daily habit, and um you will learn and understand more about the actions you're taking. This one was an important one, you can do it, focus on your spiritual intentions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Yeah, that this that was an important one. It was a very important one.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Yeah. You can do it, focus on your spiritual intention. So you can do it. That that that's what I believe. You can do it. Make the time for what is important to you. This is very important. I've always learned that no matter what happens in life and you know where you want to be in life and what you want to do in life, you always have to make the time for what's most important to you. So whatever's most important to you, make the time for it. For me, it's only been a lot the last couple of months since I've been sharing this gratitude journal, which is part of my journal process throughout my days, is very important to me. That's why no matter it's it it it depend it it depends on the day, like you know how how long I would share for. Or or what I will talk about, but it's important to me. When you make the time for what's important to you, then you know it's important to you. So you have to make the time for it. If you if you don't make the time for it, then out of your work, then when it when are you going to do it? So for me, like I have been working today, I I've worked from you know nine to five o'clock within the afternoon, but that doesn't neglect what's important to me. Does that does that make sense? Does that make sense? So like I said, it I have worked from nine to five today, but that doesn't neglect for what's important to me. You always have to make time for what's important to you. Whatever it is, focus on it and make time for it. And it's important that you do it because it's important to you, so whatever it is, and it's different for every human being. You learn and understand through spiritual actions. So you learn and understand through spiritual actions. I think I made a podcast the other day saying that I think that I'm I'm gonna repeat what I said in the other podcast recently. I said that you're not gonna be remembered for your spiritual actions. So you're not gonna be remembered from that. But you can learn and understand through your spiritual actions, so you won't be remembered for your spiritual actions. So this becomes complicated because people say, I am remembered for my spiritual actions, I am remembered for the work I do, I am I am remembered for what I've achieved, I am remembered that you're not gonna be remembered for your spiritual actions, you're gonna be remembered for what change you went through. I'll repeat it again. See, you're not you're not gonna be remembered for your spiritual actions, you're gonna be remembered for what change you went through. So sometimes we can be in the office and just be so busy, right? And we think and we think oh right and we're sorry for laughing, sorry for laughing, and we think and we think these spiritual actions is what we're gonna be remembered by. You're not gonna be remembered for your spiritual actions, you're gonna be remembered for the change that you went through. So sometimes in life, with the learning and understanding through spiritual actions, you can learn and understand through spiritual actions. I'm not I'm not saying you can't learn and understand through spiritual actions, of course you can. But that's not what's gonna make you remembered. What's gonna make you remembered is how you changed in life, and that's the it's it's different when you say I'm gonna be remembered for my spiritual actions. You're not gonna be remembered for your spiritual actions. You just won't be remembered for that. You'll be remembered for the change you went through. All human beings must go through a change to find who they are, and if you don't go through a change to find who you are, why do you think I'm saying you don't you don't get remembered for your spiritual actions? Because that's the thing, people say work, work, work, work, work, work. And we say work, work, work, work, work, work, but you're not you're not remembered by that. Spiritual states make your mind clear and spiritual. So it's spiritual states that make your mind clear and spiritual. Your spiritual states. Now, this is an important one for me to learn. I'm still learning it today. Most of the time it's your spiritual states that make you clearer and spiritual. So it's how your mind thinks, it's your thoughts, your patterns. Sort of like what are you thinking about? What are your thoughts? How are your feelings? How are your emotions? What's on your mind, you know, what what what what are you thinking about day to day? How how are you processing the day? So sometimes it's not necessarily um should I say thinking, thinking, thinking and ruminating, ruminating, ruminating. It's more the fact of you need to change your spiritual states. If you change your spiritual states of your mind, nothing changes unless the mind changes first. That's normally how it works. So nothing changes unless the mind changes first. Nothing changes unless the mind changes first. So your mind has to change. The reason why I said in the podcast and the audio you're not going to be remembered for your spiritual actions is because don't people realize that actions is a part of life. Every day we're taking action. Whether it's small actions, big actions, achievements, accomplishments, we're always taking actions. The slight difference of what I'm learning is just spiritual states. Spiritual states make your mind clearer and spiritual. So when it's normal it this normally happens to people that haven't achieved spiritual states. The ambition, the um, should I say the materialism has to be changed. Only when the ambition and the materialism is changed, then you can find a spiritual state. The spiritual state comes naturally, and I've I've said this before previously before as well. You don't have to basically you don't have to do something to have a spiritual state, it comes naturally. Normally, you could be at home, could be in a community, could be with a friend or a family member or a loved one, could be with children or your partner. It normally happens just naturally, and you just sense that spiritual state. When you sense the spiritual state, then basically it means that you know you're changing. Because if you don't sense the spiritual state throughout your day, then it's like I'm working harder for this, this is my accomplishment, this is the work I'm doing, and it becomes very um, should I say, like um it's it's just the word I use, the word I actually use for it is ambition, it becomes very ambitious. I'm not saying like you can't go for your dreams and desires. Dreams and desires are different from ambition. Ambition, for example, is say, for example, you want to be successful, rich, and prosperous. Yeah, you do whatever you can in life to become that because that's your aim and that's your target. Dreams and desires are the slight opposite. Dreams and desires are like this is my dream, this is my desire, um, I want to do something important for my life that's very important to me, and you work towards it. The ambitious side of that leads to um egotism and materialism. I'm I'm working hard for money, I'm working hard in my job, I'm working hard in my career, I'm working hard in my business, I'm giving it all that I can. I'm very rich, I'm very successful, very prosperous, very ambitious. I want it all in my life. And that way of um living brings the egotism and the materialism. Why why do you meet so many people that are egotistic and ambitious and materialistic? They've never changed. I repeat it again. Why do you meet so many people that are ambitious, materialistic, and just materialism? Why? Because they never change. They've they've had no sense of a change. So sometimes in life it's not necessarily saying um ambition, ambition, ambition. Go down that path and you become egotistic and materialism, which is people's lives for some people, not for all people. Um some people think um you know life is about um sort of achieving your dreams and desires, being more of who you are as a human being, showing your gifts and your talents if you have those abilities and qualities, um, being able to support your family and your loved ones. So basically in life, there's no necessarily right or wrong way of um how to live it, of course not. It depends on you, and it depends on the person. For me, in my experience, I've seen probably in my time, this is just the definition of a number, it's not specific. I've probably seen thousands, hundreds of of human beings that they live their life on this ambition, they live this, they live their life on this materialism. They're very egotistic and they're very selfish, very selfish, they're egotistic, selfish, ambitious, always doing things to achieve some sort of accomplishment and goal for themselves. And then it goes back to what I normally mention in all of my podcasts, my videos, my audios, my books, my messages. Where is your compassion? Where's your love? Where's your empathy? Where's your kindness? So I'm not gonna be against ambition. I think if you have ambition, that's it's a good quality to have. It means you know you're gonna go in your life trying to achieve what you want, get higher, I guess, and and be more. But um, you like the compassion that way, you like the empathy that way, you like the even the curiosity of just finding another path. You like it when you um ambition, ambition, ambition, motivation, motivation, motivation, and materialism, materialism, materialism, egotism, egotism, egotism. You like that compassion. There's more people that are less ambitious than the majority of the people that do they don't realize it though, they're less ambitious, they're not ambitious to to do something, they're not um should I say um materialistic, they're not like that, they don't they don't live like that. How do you get to the point where you don't live like that? You have to go through a change. When I when I when I when I when I say ambition and materialism, I'm not I'm not necessarily saying it in a in a rude way for people because they'll think you're just young saying ambition and materialism. That sounds a bit rude, isn't it? What what what if someone's a CEO and they want to be ambitious and have materialism? Well, if someone is very well off and they want ambition and materialism. Every time we focus on ambition and materialism, you lack that compassion. There's more people that need to find that. The world will tell you ambition and materialism and egotism is the way to live, but you lack that compassion. There's people that need support, there's people that need help, there's someone that's going through a struggle. So don't be ambitious, don't be materialistic, don't be egotism, and the main thing is don't ever be selfish. Don't ever be selfish. Um I was gonna go off on a little rant there, I had to sort of calm myself there. Just just now. The seven spiritual practices must be done daily, so they must be done daily, the seven spiritual practices prayer, meditation, mindfulness, walking, journaling, silence, and yoga. Seven spiritual practices must be done daily. It's a daily habit. It's always a reminder for me. Your life is a reflection of faith and spirituality. I think that's the observation that I find in myself. Um, your life is a reflection of faith and spirituality. So your life is a reflection of faith and spirituality. That's that's a reflection of your life. Focus on what you can control and do not focus on what you can't control. Now, this is a tricky one, but it's an important one. So focus on what you can control. For example, I I'll just say a few things about this specific thing that I've learned. I've I've already made music about this, and I've at some point I'll write a book about this because it's so important. People sort of it's very tricky to find this, but it's good that I can I can actually share it in my podcast and my audio for my graduate journal. People are like, um, you know what? My life is gonna be in this way. I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna have children, I'm gonna be successful, I'm gonna be rich, I'm gonna be prosperous, I'm gonna be wealthy, the materialism, the ambition, the motivation. And sometimes in life, you you you need to change that mentality and focus on what you can control. So, for example, if you're someone that's ambitious and materialistic, normally your motivation is to acquire some sort of wealth or money, yeah. So if you're materi if you're ambitious and materialistic, so most of your time is spent on becoming wealthy and achieving money, right? Every time you work or you do something within your life, it's focused on the ambition because I was in it. I put it to you, I put it to you in a different way, actually. I was gonna put it in another way, or I'll put it to you in a different way. A different way of wording this would be this. I used to live like this, and this is what gets people confused, isn't it? I used to live like this, this was my life, and now after a couple of years of ambition and materialism, I've got everything I want out of my life. But but uh but but where where was your compassion in that? So it's like I was in this situation in my life, and then I achieved it all and I got everything I want out of life. But for me, and for a few spiritual people, they can say this. Where was your compassion in that? Where where was you compassionate? Where was you kind? Where was you caring? Where was you helpful? Where where where where was you helping another person? Where did you give back? Like what what difference have you made? What contribution have you done? Where's your impact? What's your significance? Where's your meaning? Where's your value? And then this is what gets people confused because they say with the ambition and the motivation for that, just achieve more, keep on going for more. And then it's like when when you realize that more's not gonna make you happy in that aspect of things. So, more house, more car, more money, more success, more wealth, more prosperity, more this, more that it's not gonna make you happy. Happiness comes from inside of you. You don't have to that I think this is what gets the world confused for humanity, isn't it? They think happiness is gonna come when I achieve my successes, prosperity, and riches. That's when I become happier, I become more fulfilled, I become more joyful, I become more this and that. And it's like it's a certain thing that I've noticed. It's like you're becoming, becoming, becoming, becoming, becoming. And it's like it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't mean nothing to what I'm talking about. What I'm trying to say is you're becoming, you're becoming, you're becoming, you're becoming, and it doesn't mean nothing to what I'm talking about. You have to be compassionate, you have to be kinder, you have to be loving at some point of your life. You have to think differently, you need to live differently. Do you know what? I've got my kids, I've got my wife, I've got my husband, I've got my boyfriend, I've got my girlfriend, um, in university, this is gracious me. It's this um I I'm trying to say this in a roadway for my gratitude. I'm trying to I'm trying to I'm really not trying to say this in a rude way. It's just it's this um oh my goodness, it's just this, oh my gosh, it's just this it's like it it's like it's like it it never ends. It never ends. I'm gonna go to university, I've got this job, um, um I I'm below with my wife, my children. You've missed the point of just compassion, you've missed the point of just kindness, you've missed the point of just empathy, you missed the point of just passion for somebody else that isn't about you becoming something that you need to become for yourself. Don't chase the becoming. That's what that's another I might even make a music album about that actually. Don't chase the becoming because it leads to the ambition on materialism. So basically focus on what you can control, and you can control what you do, you can control how you live, you can control your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, you can control the simpler things in life. Don't be ambitious to think you need to keep on achieving more for you to get some sort of happiness. Happiness doesn't come like that. Happiness comes when you know yourself, so you don't need to achieve anything to know yourself. Knowing yourself is not an achievement in the first place, it's not an achievement. You can't say I I've achieved riches, I'm very successful, I'm very prosperous. Look at me and my family, look. That's all ego. That's all ego. Look at me and my family, look at me, I'm successful, look at me, I'm rich, look at me, look at me. Yeah, okay. That's egotism. It's not it's not it's not that compassion of finding who you are. Finding who you are is a different path, it's different. But I want it all, I get no it's that that's not the point. You need that compassion. The compassion is what will help you to to lead to other paths of your life. It's that compassion. If you don't have compassion, then look. If you don't have compassion, then how how are you gonna develop the qualities of who you need to be in life? You have to have that compassion. All all human beings have to have a sense of compassion inside of them. I'm not saying you can't I I did say earlier, I'm not saying you can't have ambition and and materialism. That's fine. That's that's fine for people. If that's if that's what you want out of your life, and if that's the thing that motivates you the most, and if that's the thing you desire to achieve the most, then you know, fine. I have nothing against it. Be materialistic and have ambition. But you realize slowly that um working harder to achieve more didn't make you happy when you didn't have what you had in the sort of the the the materialistic side of things. So wasn't the the way the way I normally describe it in just my talks and then my messages most of the time is this. Wasn't you happy when you didn't have anything? Wasn't you happy when you wasn't successful? Wasn't you happy when you didn't have a family, for example? Wasn't you happy when you weren't working, for example? Was you happy when you didn't have a business or volunteering or career or job or opportunity? Was you happy before then? Was you happy? It's the question, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 44:48

Why do people think achieving more is gonna make them happier?

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Why? Uh the reason why I I I said that just briefly as well. Wasn't you happy when you didn't have what you had? Wasn't you happy when you wasn't achieving what you was achieving? Was you happy when you weren't wealthy, rich, or prosperous? Was you was you happy when you weren't successful, achievements and accomplishments? Wasn't wasn't wasn't wasn't you happy before then? Wasn't wasn't you happy before then?

SPEAKER_00 45:22

Wasn't you happy before then? Wasn't you happier?

SPEAKER_02 45:29

So the word that I'm using is the becoming. It can become a danger if you're not if you're not mindful of it. That's saying that's not saying you can't become what you want to be, of course you can. I'm not saying you can't do that, of course you can, but yeah. Become become what you want to be in life. If if it's important if it's important enough to you, become what you want to be in life and do exactly what you want to do in life. If it's important to you enough, if if it matters to you that much, then do it. But from my observation, that slight difference of that becoming is just when you know yourself. When you know yourself, don't you you're not you're not you're not you're not impressed by what other people have. You don't worry about the world's problems in that aspect of things. You're not concerned with what everyone is doing. Um on the bus or the train or um I'm eating food and drinks, or I'm going to the toilet or the bathroom, or you're not you're not concerned, you've changed. It's not the the the the things of like what normal people do don't affect you. You you've changed enough to realise that point. Is there anyone that's gonna change enough to realise that point? Is there any does anyone want to go on this journey that I'm talking about? Does anyone want to? Does any really, really want to? No ambition, no becoming, um, no materialism, no egotism, no aspiration, no motivation, no achievement, no accomplishments. Does anyone want to go on this journey and discover what I've been talking about for the last I'll say twelve to thirteen years is the question, isn't it? Because you don't need materialism, you don't need ambition, you don't need egotism, you don't need to become something, you don't need food and drinks, you don't need family and friends, you don't need jobs, careers, employment, opportunities, you don't need it. It's not it's not a need, it's not a need, you don't need it. Life is about learning and understanding. That's that's that's the thing I've learned for a long time. It's basically if you if you focus on learning and understand them, then you focus on what's important to you. Everyone has something that's important to them. Like I said, it could be the big things or the small things, but every everyone, everyone has something that's important to them. Everyone does. There's no there is no human being that doesn't have something that's important to them. We all do. It just depends on how important really is it really is it for you? Is it very important? Will will you spend your life doing it? Will you spend your time doing it? Will you spend your opportunities doing it? These are the slight questions for spiritual people. If it's something very important to you, will you spend your life doing it? Will you spend your time doing it? Will you spend your effort to do it? Will you show your passion in doing it? Can you do that? Is that possible?

SPEAKER_00 48:47

Can you find what's important for you and then live it?

SPEAKER_02 48:54

So we're now you're there this evening. I have gone on a little bit, I was getting a bit ranty as well, but it's fine. These are my gratitude journals, and it's okay how I share and what I talk about. So I'm gonna talk about now the spiritual insights of the states that I was experiencing today. As only today, I experienced this. Normally, I think it's every Monday I get these spiritual insights, but today in particular is very um heightened and aware of these spiritual states. This is the like I said, this is my gratitude journal, so this is something I've learned for myself. My mental health and diabetes sometimes create my mind in spiritual states. Normally on Mondays, it's normally every Monday afternoon that happens. My mind becomes spiritual with no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions, no attachments, so it becomes spiritual. I have these spiritual insets now. I had it specifically at about 454 today. Everything looks spiritual and clear. It goes back to what I said earlier, the spiritual states. Faith and spirituality is no mind, the no self. Faith and spirituality is no mind, the no self. There's faith in spirituality. Seven spiritual practices will help you to keep the spiritual states. It's the seven spiritual practices that help you to keep the spiritual states. And the reason why why they always mention it in my podcast for audios and my messages. It goes back to this. What are they? Spiritual practices. The seven spiritual practices are spiritual practices. If you do the seven spiritual practices, you'll keep the spiritual state. Monday afternoon normally it happens between I I gave it a time today, between two o'clock and five o'clock when my mind is spiritual. Wow. Observation, seeing, looking, the spiritual responses. So this is an important one. Observation, seeing, looking, the spiritual responses. Again, observation, seeing, looking, the spiritual responses. Again, observation, seeing, looking, the spiritual responses. So it's the observation, seeing, looking, the spiritual responses. If you get to the spiritual state that I'm talking about, then the observation becomes the spiritual response. You can you I I'm not gonna go too deep into this because it'll take a long time to figure it out. You when okay, I'll put it to you this way when you have observation, which is part of a I call it a spiritual quality. I didn't say it's an ambitious quality, I didn't say it's a materialistic or egotism quality, that's not what I said. When you have observation, so observation is different for example, observation can be this. You're alone or you're with somebody, or you're at work. Normally, the best times to find this observation that I'm talking about is working. Normally, working will help you see the observation more. You see this in the work you do if if if you've got to that point. I'm not saying this in a rude way or just uh a rude statement. You you will have to see this to learn what I'm talking about. Everybody is trying, the word that's that's the word I use. Everybody is trying, right? So the observation is everybody is trying. So work is the best example to to find this in what I'm saying. Everybody is trying. I've got to do this. This is my work. I need to do this. Um I'm going on the train to cat to go somewhere to meet somebody. Um going at home to look after my children and my family. Um driving my car because I need to get somewhere. I'm um I'm walking because that's something I like doing. I'm at home listening to music and cooking food because it's important to me. So the observation of what I'm talking about is that this everybody is trying. There's not one human being that isn't trying. Should I should I should I repeat it again? I'll repeat it again because it's so important. So important. The observation will help you to see exactly what I'm talking about. Observation will have you to see this. And it goes back to what I said just briefly just now. Actually, it goes back to it again.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

Everybody is trying. Everybody's trying. They're trying to do things. They're trying. It's true.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

It's it's this it's this it's this it's this observation that can help you to see and look. Everyone is trying. There's no human being that isn't trying in in some part of their life. Everyone is. I'm trying to work harder for my career. I'm trying to own a business for myself. I'm trying to have a family because that's what I want. I'm trying to become wealthier because that's what I want. I'm trying to achieve something because that's what I want. I want this accomplishment because that's what I want. This is my life, this is what I need in my life, this is what's going on, this is the situation I'm in. I I I want to become something. This is my motivation, this is my aspiration, this is what I'm driven towards. I'm motivated to achieve something, accomplish something. I'm I want it all, and I I'm not gonna be satisfied until I get it all. And this is the motivation and the inspiration, and I feel so encouraged to keep on going, and I want to keep on moving to my dreams and desires, and becoming more and more, and I've got so much I want to do, and this is my observation. Will show you that everyone's trying. Everyone is, there's no human being that isn't.

SPEAKER_00 55:58

So they're trying, you know.

SPEAKER_02 56:06

And it's a it's an observation because it takes a lot to learn that, and it's like, yeah, it's it's a very it's a very subtle learning. That is I'm going to my home. I'm going to my job. I'm working my career. I'm having a relationship. I'm getting married. Don't you realize this is all part of human beings trying? They're trying to they're not I'm I'll put it to this one because it's so important, and these are my gratitude journals for a reason. When oh wow, it's amazing, isn't it? It's amazing. When uh when when you just observe and don't don't observe in the sense of like I don't want to say this in a judgmental way at all. Don't observe and just saying this is someone's life and this is what they're doing, because that becomes judgmental, that becomes egotistic. So don't don't don't don't observe in that way.

SPEAKER_04 57:06

If you observe in that way, and it's just like, oh, but this is that person's life, and look at what he's doing, or she's doing, and or believing contributing, helping, or giving back, or making a difference in some kind of way, or something helping in any way, or do something.

SPEAKER_00 57:33

Don't don't don't observe in a judgmental way though.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

Observe in a way that's very spiritual, and it takes a spiritual person to reach that point. Look, when when you observe this, it's normally this. It's normally this this is this is why I said in the podcast and the audience where everybody's trying. We're trying we're trying to live the life that we we want to live. We all are. There's no human being that isn't. We're all trying, yeah. The observation will show you something different. Observe, look, see, see what's going on, observe it, look, see, observe, look, see, keep observing, looking, seeing, and then make a decision and choice for yourself. You don't want to live like that. Again. Observe, look, see, observe, look, see. Observe, look, see. And make a chosen decision that you don't want to live like that. But when you make the chosen and decision that you don't want to live like that, that's not judgmental because you've just observed. You've seen you've seen you've seen the reality of life itself. So if everyone's trying, which is everyone is trying, like I said, it's that's not it's not it's not a real statement to say that. Everyone's trying. Observing, looking, seeing will show you something different. Only when you spend time in observing, looking, seeing can see something different. And your life will change that way.

SPEAKER_00 59:21

People say, does your life change when you do something? To some people it can, to some people it can't.

SPEAKER_02 59:36

Observation is a different way of learning. It's different.

SPEAKER_00 59:40

It's very different. That's why I said when you observe, look and see, just just do it.

SPEAKER_02 59:51

Do it I I put uh actually let me let me put let me put a definition in it so people can if they choose to to do it or not, that'll be down to the individuals that that want to do it or not. And it's not it's not me telling the person they should do it in this specific way because I don't want it to come across like, oh, this young person says, do it this way, be like this this way, have it like this, this. I I won't I won't really like that because that becomes egotism and that's not the correct way of viewing it. I'll put it to you this way, and it's so it's like I can say this in like about a hundred of different ways to get this point across. It it can be done this this observation can be done nearly everywhere in all parts of life. Finish your work. Uh, this this is the best way to do it. Finish your work, whatever your work is. I'm not telling people what your work should be. That's that's not what I'm saying. I I didn't say what your work should be, so I haven't said that in the whole podcast or audio today. Finish your work, wherever your work is, finish it. Just finish your work, finish it, yeah. Do your work. Okay, I finish my work, I'm going home for the evening. Just just do your work, whatever it is. Just finish your work and do your work. Take a look.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:12

Take a look at what's going on. Just take a look. Finish your work and then take a look. Just just it. Just observe.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:57

When you observe, it's just we know what we normally call it looking. It's normally just looking or observing. When you observe and you look, that's when you see. You see what's going on, you see the reality of people's lives, you see what they're trying to do, you see what they're trying to achieve, you see what paths are on, you see how they're living, you get to meet people who are a certain way. It's all to do with your observation. Observation normally shows your perception of things. So normally it's your observation first, then your observation will show your perception of it, how you articulate what you've seen. If you have a spiritual mindset, which I'm I'm not telling people how to get because that's wrong of me to do that, and I shouldn't do that at all. If you have a spiritual mindset, you'll notice this, and this is when you have a spiritual mindset. Only a spiritual mindset will show you this. I might have to talk about it briefly before we finish this podcast today as well. I think I will actually, because I don't want to just share it and then don't talk about what I've shared because it's quite important actually. Now, when you have a spiritual mindset, you can see what's going on. It doesn't become you don't become just say like um I wouldn't say frightening or anything like that. You just you just see what's going on. You see, you see the reality of what people are living, you see their they're trying to to do in their life, you see their concerns, you see their worries, you see their frustrations, you see their anger, you see their resentment, you see their bitterness, you see their problems, you see their um insecurities. You get to articulate and find out what's going on. It's it's all it's all to do with your perception, is it? Is it not all to do with your perception? When you observe and look, isn't your perception showing you what you think is correct or not? It's your perception of it, isn't it? It's only your perception. I'm working in this career, and if you're working in this career, that's the perception that you've put in that career, isn't it? I'm um I'm I am a I am an entrepreneurial and business owner. That's your perception of what you've put in the work you're doing. I'm well off, I am rich, I'm wealthy, and that's the perception you've put on yourself from what you're doing. So the observation is simple. You don't you don't have to it can be the most simplest thing in life that people avoid.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

Just look. Looking doesn't mean judging.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:58

I don't I don't it's like you don't like if you if you say looking is judging, for example, you'll say, um, this person is doing nothing, this person is misbehaving, this person is socializing, this person is falling around, this person is misbehaving and joking around, these people are smoking and drinking alcohol, this person is taking drugs, that person is doing this, and he's doing that's that's equal judgmental, isn't it? It's judgmental when you say you look and you go, This person's doing nothing, these people are drinking and smoking their lives away, this person's behaving in this type of way, this person's doing this within their life, that person is living like that within their life. That's what you call judgmental, but when you observe, you're going to judge because you the the looking shows the truth, isn't it? I've put it to you again this way because. Because I I'll put I'll put it to you this way. I'll put it to you this way. When you reserve, you're just looking, right? And when you're just looking, the the reality of those people's lives show the truth. So you don't you don't have to judge it. I don't know. I don't know if anyone has got to that point in their life and seen exactly what I'm talking about. It will take a lot to really get to that point. The reality of their life will be shown from just how they're living. I'm well off than them. I'm wealthier than them. I'm richer than them. I'm successful than them. I have it all in my life. This is me in my life. This is how I am in my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:51

I'm better than my life. I'm achieving more in my life. My family's greater than theirs. This is it it's this oh man, gosh. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:19

There's a slight difference of observation than there is with just I think I I I use the word being judgmental. Judgmental means you're trying to put a perception on somebody that you think you're better than. I'm better than this human being. I'm more successful than these people. I'm more wealthier than these human beings. I've achieved more than these human beings. I've I've got it all because I'm wealthier, more successful. And it goes back to what I said earlier. When you're like that, then you don't you miss the compassion of life, the compassion of life. I didn't say the successes of life when I said the compassion of life. I didn't say the inspiration of life when I said the compassion of life. I didn't say the motivation of life when I said the compassion of life. I didn't say the accomplishments and achievements of life when I said the compassion of life. You miss the compassion of life. Life has compassion in it. That's why sometimes when you observe, and observing is observing is different from it's like it's different from saying to somebody, I'm gonna tell you what to do in your life. Do this within your life, and this is how you're gonna achieve what you want. Live like this in your life, and this is how you're gonna get to where you want to get to. Do this university degree, go to college, go to school, um, be a family member, uh have a business, be successful, have a career, uh have children, you know, do more well, you know, keep on going, yeah, you guys want Observation is different in this aspect of things. You just look. It goes back to what I said earlier, you just look, you just see, you observe. And without it's very spiritual to get to this point. I I I I hope more people can get to this point of what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:37

You just observe, you just look, and you see.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:42

And instead of saying anything, all you all you do is just say okay. That's it. You just all you observe, you look and see, you just say, once you've done that, you just just just I I I'm I'm encouraging I'm encouraging the people that listen to my podcasts and my videos and my books and my messages to do this at some point in your life to actually do it and and see what I'm saying. Just observe, look and see, and then just say okay. Just say, okay, that's how their life is. It's not it's not judgmental to say that's how their life is. It's not, because that's that the truth will show you that, isn't it? It's that's how their life is. You don't you don't have to like say anything about it. You don't have to go, I'm better than you, you're more I'm more richer than you.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:39

This is my life, isn't it? I'm more successful than you, I'm achieving more than you people are.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:46

I've got the family and the and the relationships that you people have.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:53

Yeah, you don't you don't you don't you don't need to do that when you observe, you don't you don't you don't feel like um basically you never feel like you're better than somebody else, and no matter how much you achieve or accomplish, you don't have those feelings because you we're all on the same path and we're all in the same destination. So you don't have that feeling saying, I'm more better than you. I'm achieving more than you people, I've got more than you people have. You don't feel like that. It's it's not that you you don't you don't you don't that's not that's not how that is you just know we're all in the same park going to the same destination, that's it. So you don't feel like I'm more better than you people are, unless you've been more Oh man Yeah, you really you really you really don't feel like that you really don't yeah yeah yeah yeah So I'm gonna I didn't want to talk about something briefly before I finish this evening I could have gone on longer as well but I'm just mindful of time as always um faith and spirituality is the tr spiritual truth with no mind um yeah yeah um interesting it's an interesting one that one is you know faith and spirituality is a spiritual truth with no mind so interesting interesting interesting kinda it kind of go it kind of goes back to what I was saying before just just in the podcast audio now when I was saying um like um I'm not doing you people are I'm achieving more than you I'm achieving more than you people are I'm getting more successful than you people are it's like faith and spirituality is the spiritual truth of no mind so you when you when you have no mind you don't have that mentality you know I'm achieving more than you people I'm becoming more successful than you people I'm in the careers of high opportunities it's just selfish it's selfish it's just just like yeah it's just selfish like I think that no man will teach you something else definitely so so you know it goes back to what I've normally said you have to change that mentality you have to change the mentality of I'm better than you people I'm getting more richer than new people are my family's more prosperous than new people we'll we're all on the same destination going towards the same ending I guess right so there's no such thing as I'm more successful than new people I'm getting more richer than you it doesn't matter I've got one more thing I want to talk about before I finish this evening oh I I actually forgot that I made new music today as well which is surprising again always so just before I go into the final thing that I want to talk about as well for just for today anyway um I create I'm starting a new album you know most of the time um when I'm in the community or when I um basic most of the time it's normally on the train on the buses I get these uh should I say insights to create new music and um today I think I was on the train was when I'm not on the train yeah I was on the train always creating new music so I'm working on a whole new album again and this album is called um yeah fearlessness so um yeah it's a whole new album new songs new tracks and uh fearlessness yeah powerful isn't it I'm just gonna finish the podcast and audio just by talking about this briefly I I think I've spent uh enough time today but like I said I did I didn't want to not go into this before you know I just finish the audio so just gonna it's very very specific now that I'm gonna talk about because I've shared my gratitude journal and I'm very I'm always grateful you know that's that's the thing with me like I I never feel like um I never feel like I'm not grateful. I'm grateful for the opportunities I'm grateful for what I do you know I'm grateful for just having you know the opportunities you know I'm grateful for it you know I really am I I don't I don't like um should I say verbalize it to everybody like I'm grateful look at my opportunities look at me I don't I don't I don't verbalize it in that way I just it's normally a subtle thing you just know you're grateful and that it's subtle you know it's not I'm this I'm that I'm do it's just it's subtle very subtle I'm grateful though very appreciative um I think this one was quite an important topic to talk about so I just want to spend a bit of time talking about it. I called this just before we finish suffering pain and adversity so I'm just gonna stand up for this part of the podcast and audio today because I want to try and get this into the message as best as I can and um sometimes I need to um you know verbalize it as best as I can you know now this is important and this is this is the reason I'm showing this for the gratitude journal for today and I'm always I'm always trying to share I'm always trying to contribute now it go it goes it goes back to what I was saying earlier within the podcast in the audience today and like I said like these opportunities to share my gratitude journal is is a very important thing for me um you know not everyone have I don't think I don't I don't I have to be honest to be if I be quite specific now before I go into this um I'll just be quite specific before I go into this I've um I I I've I've listened to a lot of different things in my time you know books audio books written books listened to audio programs messages talks podcasts audios YouTube the list goes on with what I've been um able to listen to and just like learn from different other human beings and different people the day when I can see someone learn what I talk about is the day when I can say do you know what this person's a special person yeah this person they must have learned a lot on their journey to get to this point they must have um should I say gone for a certain change to get to this point and they must have do you know what life wasn't easy for them life was difficult for them right so when I say suffering pain adversity I mean suffering pain and adversity I don't say suffering pain adversity because it's not gonna happen yeah so they confuse this young person's words for some arrogance so I'm saying it again I'm not saying that suffering pain and adversity is not gonna happen it will happen in your life depending on who you are where you're from London New Zealand England Wales Scotland America um India Pakistan Ukraine um Australia where wherever it is this will happen to people this will happen to people it will happen right so why why when I say suffering pain adversity I mean suffering pain adversity because a lot of people say but why why are you saying suffering pain adversity you're not you're not you've changed the topic you're you're not talking about you haven't even you haven't even spoken about helping other people in this podcast and audio today you haven't even spoken about it you can't you can't talk about helping other people giving back and making a difference without the suffering pain and adversity that's what I that's it's like this this learning of what I've learned in my life you know the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the learning of what I've learned in my life the learning of what I've learned in my life literally the learning of what I've learned in my life it will involve suffering pain and adversity and the difference is this is what the difference is and I'm aware of it because I I've had to I've had to um what's the word of what I'm saying I can't I can't get to my contributions without going through suffering pain and adversity that's that's the reality I can't get to my impact without going through suffering pain and adversity I can't become who I want to be without suffering pain and adversity. So the suffering pain and diversity is part of the journey this is this is what I want people to be aware of. I want I want I want I I literally look I I don't I don't look I for me to know I'm at I'm at the point in my life I don't I want to say this in the podcast and audio today because it's so important. Okay I'm at the point in my life where I don't want for anything and then it's just um spiritual isn't it you say you're at a point in your life where you don't want for anything what you mean you don't want for anything you want it all don't you you need it all don't you you just you desire it all don't you right I'm at the point in my life where I do not want for anything there's no want there's no ambition there's no materialism I don't I don't I don't need it I'm at I'm at that point I've reached it I've re I've reached I can say it to myself now I've reached it I've reached it I don't I don't want I don't want anything I can I can say I can say with confidence I can say with confidence I I can say with confidence I I don't want I don't I I don't I don't I don't want I don't I don't want anything suffering pain and diversity is the way to become who you want to be and look even in my gym as a young person what did it take? I'm not gonna go into it because that would I could spend hours I could I could spend I could spend the whole day talking about what it's gonna take. I could spend the whole day talking about it. How are you gonna learn it? How you gonna how you I could spend the whole day talking about it but then it goes back to my journey my journey was a spiritual journey it was spiritual from the very beginning so when I can say to myself I'm at the point when I do not want there's no wants oh but you want this you want that no I don't have no wants it's not it's not my desire you want this you want that you need this you need that get this I'm at the point where I do not want a thing no no no no no no one can give me what I want anyway I'm at that point this this is this is this this is this is what I'm trying to get get across in this podcast today this this is what this is what I'm trying to get across I'm trying to get across today I'm trying to get across I I am trying like I said earlier people are trying I'm trying I'm trying my best to get across when you don't want for something that doesn't necessarily mean you're not going to get it shall I say it again please I'll say it again when you do not want for something that doesn't necessarily mean you're not gonna get it I didn't want my career but now I've got my career. I didn't want my motorbike and now I've got my motorbike. I didn't want my my my plasma plasma screen TV but I've got a plasma screen TV I didn't want um possessions but now I've got possessions I didn't want income but now I've got income I didn't want voluntarian jobs but now I've done voluntarin jobs. I didn't want business opportunities but now I've done business opportunities I didn't want um anything at the very beginning the very the very the very beginning of my journey I didn't want anything that that's my secret that's my secret that's that's what that's what's been my secret for all these years. It's been my secret it's been it's the secret of my life to this day it's it's it's the same secret of my life to this day. From the very beginning I didn't want anything it was I had no I had no it goes back to my story I had no ambition for it I had no motivation for it it wasn't my desire it wasn't none none of these none of these um should I call it these things should I actually call it that name these things homes cars money clothes possessions holidays food drinks in my story it it wasn't my desire I didn't have a desire for it I I was I wasn't I I was never I was never I was never dreaming about homes possessions cars houses money clothes and food and drinks I was it it just was not my desire I I I I had I had like what m why did I have to stand up for this part of the the conversation please because I had I've had to I've had yes yes yes I've had to I've had to I've had to what's the word for it what's the word for it I've had to I've had to um what's the word for it? What's what's the word for it? What's the word for it? What's the word for it? What's the word for it?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:32

I've had to not want I've had to not want to to get everything else.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:37

I've had to not want to There's something there's something when I I explain this now that I I've actually calmed down a bit because I was gonna go into like a complete run and then I had to just bring myself back to where I am and that's important for me. Now, basically, what what what what is it gonna take? And this this is this is a question for not just me, but I think for people, what's it gonna take? Is it gonna take another career to become who you want to be? And I don't think that's the answer for people. Is it gonna take another opportunity for you to become what you want to be? I don't think that's it for people. Is it gonna take another um marriage, relationship, children, possessions, cars, houses, money for you to become what you want to be? I don't think that's the motivation for people. So why am I saying that? Where's the most where's the motivation for people? Where's the motivation? It's the motivation when I become more successful, then my dreams and desires get realized. If you go back to what I was saying earlier in the podcast and audio before, when I was talking about the ambition and materialism, if I become more successful, that's when my dreams and desires get realized. If you become more successful, that's when your dreams and desires get realized. But you miss the compassion. How do you find compassion in life? How do you find it? What what what what what what is the scre what is the strategy to find compassion in life? In life. I said earlier in the podcast and audio, compassion in life. I didn't say success in life, I didn't say riches in life, I didn't say wealth in life, I didn't say um accomplishments in life, I didn't say even about the dreams and desires in life. I don't say that's not what I said. How do you find the compassion in life? How do you find it? There's a way, there's a way. This way, it's been uh I only only I can say because I've I've I've lived I've lived it to to get to this point to find it for myself. There is a way to find it, and I'm gonna explain the way to find it. Just maybe not for all my podcasts and audios, maybe not, but for this specific one, I'm gonna explain it. And I'm gonna explain it as simple as this. It's gonna be simple, but I'm gonna explain it. The question that I have, and this is the question that I have, because I'm young, I'm not just young enough to do what I'm doing. I I've I've I've I've I I've done it. That's the thing. I I can only when you only when you've done what I'm talking about, then you can say it for yourself. The truth of life, you can say it for yourself. How do you find the compassion of life? How do you find it? I tell you. I tell you what it is. I tell you, I tell you how you find it.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:43

This is how you find it, and you can it can be found.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:46

It's not it's not it's not something you can say, oh but I I I I was rich and then I found it. I I was a family man and then I found it, or a woman and I found it. I was um great and I found it. But that that's that's the materialistic side of things. That's the egotism side of things. It's not it's not the truth.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:06

It's not the truth for women's sakes, it's not the truth. How do you find it?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:11

This will unlock the door to every blessing within your life. This will unlock the door to every prosperity within your life. This will unlock the door to anything you want to become within your life. This one thing. This one thing. Just one thing. And it it unlock it unlocked everything. Everything. Whatever you and it's just this one. I'm gonna explain. I'm gonna explain it. I'm only gonna explain it once in my podcast. I'm only gonna explain it once.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:42

Once, once only, once only. This will unlock any blessings in your life. This will unlock anything you desire within your life. This will unlock it. It'll be the key to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:55

It'll be like it'll be it'll be it'll be it'll be it'll be something that you go, okay, okay. This young person knew what he was talking about. This young person was aware of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:06

He was very, very aware of it. He knew what he was talking about, he knew what he was thinking he was aware. He was aware, he knew, he knew, he knew, he knew he knew.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:16

And it's this suffering, pain and adversity is the way you find it. Suffering, pain and adversity is the way you find it. Go through the suffering, pain and adversity to find it. Go through the feelings, the emotions, the depression, the unhappiness, the sadness, the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the frustrations, the problems, the situations, the circumstances, the feelings, the emotions. Go through it.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:55

Go through it.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:58

The pains, the anxieties, the feelings, the emotions, the suffering, the pains, the difficulties, the challenges, the feelings, the emotions, the depressions, the unhappiness, the sadness, the bitterness, the anger, the resentments, the frustrations, the problems.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:18

Go go go go go go through it, go through it. Yes, that's it. That's it. That's the way. That's a secret. Going through it is the secret. Did I say going through it was not a secret? No. Going through it is a secret. The South America University.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:44

That brings every single blessing within your life, whatever you it it's it's it's m it's my life. I I can I can only say it because it's my life. I I know where I came from. I know. No, that's not that's not my talk today.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:02

But I know where I came from. I know. So so so so so so so so so so so so so the suffering payoffersity is what brings all the blessings.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:18

Any blessing you want. When I say blessing, I mean a spiritual, divine, purposeful, meaningful work and vocation.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:38

I explain it again. When I say all the blessings, when I say all the blessings, this is what I mean. This young person means this a meaningful, purposeful divine assignment, vocation, occupation.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:00

Something that is meaningful, meaningful, something that is purposeful, purposeful, something that is valuable, valuable, something that will will will will will mean you went through the suffering pair of adversity. I I I and you're aware of it and you know it, and you move forward.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:31

That's it. There you go. That that that that brings every blessing in my life. It brings every blessing.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:44

I'm still talking, I'm not finished yet, still there.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:47

When I was saying, you need that compassion. You need it, you need that compassion, you need it. It's a it's it's a quality that you have to have, you have to have it. If you don't have that quality of compassion, then how can you help other people?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:06

That's the question, isn't it? That's the question. If you don't have that quality of compassion, how can you help other people? Because you help other people based on compassion for people.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:24

Compassion for people. You're not better than people. That's not what I'm saying, you're not better than people, compassion for people, compassion for people. You care about people. You don't you don't want people to go through suffering.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:40

You don't want people to go through pain. You don't want people to go through adversity. You you you don't, you don't, you really don't, you don't that compassion inside of you. The compassion to to to to to to help.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:56

Compassion.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:07

Without compassion, without observation, and without spirituality and faith, you don't develop the qualities of helping other people, giving back and making a difference. You don't develop those qualities. You don't, I'm sorry. I I know I know even even for me to say as a young person, I'm very young, I'm very, very young. Compassion is the quality. It's the quality that it it's it's more important than any other skill. It's more important than any any anything you can actually think of in life, it's more important, it's it's more important. Not the work, but the compassion. Not the business, but the compassion. Not the career, but the compassion. Not this, but the compassion. Compassion is more important than every other quality. It's the most important quality in life to develop. It's the quality. It's a quality, it's a it's that it's like a beauty of value. A beauty of value, it's it's beautiful when you have it.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:14

You don't you you don't you you can get you can say when you have it, you you you say to yourself you do not want. That that's what you can say to yourself when you don't when you have this compassion that I'm talking about. You can say it. I'm not I'm not materialistic, I'm not I'm not egotistic, I'm not well off, I'm not rich, I'm not successful, I'm not prosperous. That has no it has no it has no it has no it has no um compassion is the secret of life.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:26

And in my own experience as a young person, like I said, I don't know I don't want to go into my story or because that that's just too it's just takes too much time to talk about it. But this quality that I'm talking about in this podcast, this is my gratitude journal. This is this this gratitude journal is important. That compassion. If you if you can find that compassion in life, then it it it it it it it's a change y'all, it ch it changes, it can change quite a lot of things in your life. For example, your work, it can change your home, it can change your business, change your career, change your volunteering, change your family, change your friends. It it it changes everything, but it's it's it's it's that that that compassion that compassion it's it's it's it's like a subtle word, it's a subtle word. It has all the value, all the meaning with it. It really does. It's just that compassion. Compassion. Focus on compassion, focus on kindness, focus on generosity, focus on patience, focus on compassion. When you focus on compassion, don't don't be surprised when everything else seems to happen in your life. You don't have to work for that.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:50

It's a free gift. It's free. Compassion is free. Compassion is something you don't have to work to get it. You don't have you don't have to work to get it.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:01

It's not it's not it's not it's not the work that's gonna bring compassion. You have to bring compassion in everything you do. Everything you do has to have to be compassion with it. If it's not compassion with it, there's it's just gonna be I'm getting richer, I'm getting more successful. And it's like a pride in life, isn't it? It's prideful when you're like that. It's prideful. I'm getting more richer, I'm getting more successful.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:27

Look at me, oh okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. But you're not compassionate, you're not kind, you're not generous, you're not helpful, you're not you're not even you're not even contributing in any way.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:40

Oh that's saying we're not even contributing in any way, then that stir it up. You're not compassionate. You're not kind. You're not competitive, you're not you're not caring. Doesn't that stir it up? Doesn't it stir it up? You're not kind. You're not compassionate, you're not empathetic. Doesn't it stir it up? Make you wanna find it. The compassion. Doesn't it stir up? Yes, yes, yes. Compassion, compassion, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Stir it up. Compassion, love, kindness, generosity, patience, time, care. Doesn't it stir up? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So like I said before, what is it gonna take?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:36

What what's the secret? Suffering, pain adversity is the secret of compassion. When you've gone through suffering, per adversity, then you find compassion. That's how you find it. So the reality is, yes, it's it's true. It's I'm young, I'm young to be sharing this. I'm young. I'm not old, I'm only 37. So maybe I'm young.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:05

And I'm 30 I'm not even that I'm 37 and I already know what compassion is. Yeah, it's true, it's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:17

Compassion, care, kindness, generosity, you know, qualities. Suffering perversity brings the qualities. This is the suffering adversity. And now I'm ready to kind of maybe wrap up what I've been talking about today. I'm maybe ready to wrap it up and finish it.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:36

Suffering, pay, and adversity brings the blessings and the riches. Suffering perversity brings the blessings and the riches. Suffering perversity brings the blessings and the riches.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:54

Suffering pay adversity brings the blessing and the riches. Suffering perversity brings the blessing and the riches. It's the suffering pair of diversity that will bring the blessing and the riches. Suffering perversity brings it. That's what brings it. The compassion. It's a compassionate life. Very compassionate, you're caring, you're kind, you're empathetic. You want you don't look your life is about not making people want them to suffer. You don't want anyone to suffer. You you really don't.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:28

Your life is a reflection of that. You don't want people to suffer. You don't. You don't want them to go through their problems, their situations, their circumstances. You don't want them, you want them to go, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:44

Let's go through the suffering. Let's find out. Let's let's search.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:49

Let's let's find out. Let's let's discover it. Come on, come on, you want yes, yes, yes, what things to say, come on, come on, yes, come on, let's do it, come on. Yes, yes, yes, you want that, you want you want more things to say, come on, come on, come on, yes, yes, yes, let's go, let's go, let's go, come on, yes, yes, yes, yes, come on, come on, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:30

It stirs up because the passion comes with compassion. Passion comes with compassion.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:40

Passion comes with compassion. We have to be compassionate, and that's what brings the blessing and the riches. It will it takes time though, it takes time.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:53

Compassion, yes. So quality. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:02

So I think I'm done for today. I could have gone on longer. I could have really gone on longer. Um, um this this this message even stirred me up today, it stirred me up. It's really stirred me up. Um yes, yes. Wow. Compassion, wow. The quality of it, wow, yes. So this is my graduate journal for today, and I'm happy to be sharing it as always. Um I think this is the lesson that I've learned. I've actually learned this lesson as I've been talking today and sharing. Compassion is the secret to riches. Yeah. That's that's what I've I've learned that from my talking today. Compassion is the secret to riches. The compassion, the kind, caring, giving, helpful, compassionate, kind person you are. The compassionate, kind person you are will bring the riches. And what I said in the podcast and audio I do not want. That has been my motivation all these years from the very beginning. I I don't want to go into my story because like I said, it's gonna take too much time. Maybe I can go into a little bit of it. I could go into a little bit of it. Should I go into a little bit of it? Um let me think. Let me just do something quickly first. Hold on, hold on. How to take off my um headphones because the battery for the headphones were becoming a bit um down, so I had to take them off. But just before I finish this podcast for today, because um I think this one's a special one, special one for me, it's very special, and um as it's special, as this gratitude journals it's become the most um you know fulfilling thing I'm doing in my life at this present moment, it's so fulfilling, but I'm not I'm not reaching the heights that I want to reach just yet. I'm still on the journey. Now, for this part, it's just a simple thing. Suffering, pain, and adversity will be everything. Yes. Yes. Yes. Suffering, pain, and adversity will be everything. Depending on how you respond to it, which is the question. Um Okay. Now if suffering, pain, and adversity is everything, if it really is. What are we gonna do to respond to it? And the way I can answer this question is for my own journey. And um just remember this podcast as a lesson to be learned. And as you take it as a lesson to be learned, when I'm sharing compassion, kindness, care, generosity, patience, compassion, time, effort, meaning, value, purpose, fulfillment if you get to that point. Joy, happiness, and the the the long suffering will bring more of the joy. I'll share my story just for this special podcast today, because I've gone on for nearly two hours. Should I go on for three or four hours? I'm not sure if I'm gonna do that. Now it comes back to this the whole uh I'm only gonna share it's on this podcast for today because it's actually a special one for me personally. This this one's a very special one for me personally. Very special for me personally. So I I normally I don't go into my story. I've been keeping it quite private for most of the time. Um I don't share it, I don't necessarily talk about it with others, I just do what I do, yeah. Um but for this one, let's just go into it briefly. Just briefly though. Why am I saying compassion? Is the question. Why am I saying kindness is the question? Why am I saying generosity is the question? Why am I saying care is the question? Why? Am I not young enough to um go through my own suffering pain adversity? I think I am young enough to go through my own suffering pain adversity. I'm young enough to to go through it. I'm young. So every time I've shared the f the the the the the motive of it the motive of it is I'm still young. I've gone through it, but I'm still young. That is a it's a it's like a it's like a spiritual um secret. Cause just before we get into it, I'll go into it today. I actually do want to go into it today, just briefly, right? Now I I'll put it to you this way, because I'm still sharing, and I I've I've actually stopped this podcast at least two to three times today, but it's okay, it's fine, yeah. Now this is this this this is what I'm trying to this is why I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm explaining it again briefly. I'm just explaining it. Normally, how how it works is this. I'll tell you how it normally works. Normally, it's normally I'll put it to you this way because I've learnt it myself because it's like a how can a young person know so much, but I know I know I know where I came from and I know why I didn't say I didn't say ambition, I don't say materialism, and I didn't say egotism. That's not what I said. I said compassion, loving, kindness, care, generosity, and making such a difference. There's a there's a slight there's a slight reason for it though. There's a reason for it. There's a reason there's a I don't I don't I don't just I don't just like people say um how how how can you say you've done 10 podcasts in such a short space of time? How can you say you've written more than 45 books and you're still only 37? How can you say you have a home, you have possessions, you have belongings, you do not want your f you're spiritual, you're more freer than most people. How how can you say that? It goes back to my journey. The whole the whole point of my life, it goes back to my journey, everything goes back to my journey because I'm on a path of my own understanding, learning, knowledge, and wisdom. And I'm trying, I'm still trying to find it. I'm still trying to find it. I haven't I haven't found it yet, but I don't mind going on the journey, yeah. So this is my story, and this is this is where it begins for me. And I'm I don't I don't I'm only spending the time talking about because I don't want to just say compassion and then suffering, pain, adversity. Like it may come across like that's not true, though, it's not true, no, no, no, it's something no no no. Truthfully, it's it's it's it's it it's the it's it's it's the suffering, pain and adversity you go through that makes the difference. That's why I said it's suffering and pain and adversity is everything. Suffering, pain adversity is everything, it's everything when when you've gone through it. It makes you um kinder, it gives you compassion, it makes you uh more empathetic towards others, and you're not judgmental. I don't I don't view it as I'm young and I've got it all. I don't view myself as that. I'm young and I'm very well off. I don't I don't view myself like that. I'm young and I'm achieving a lot. I don't I don't view it in that way. I never have from the very beginning. So this is my story, and I'm gonna show I'm gonna be sharing it briefly for today, just to impact basically. This this is this is the impact. This is this is this is the learning that I had to go on, and um I've got my gratitude journals, it's more learning that I'm going on. That's basically what it is, and this is how it started. It started it started like this for me. So, you know, I'm not saying um yeah, you you didn't go through what you went through, of course I did. You didn't have your experiences, of course I did. You didn't go through that, of course I did. Of course, yes, I did, yeah. So it specifically starts I don't want to go into all aspects of my life because that's gonna take another couple of hours, and I don't think I've never I don't think I have gone in all aspects of my life in a podcast episode. I don't I don't I still haven't I haven't I haven't done it to this day. I haven't I haven't gone through all the different experiences where I went through. I haven't gone through it, I don't I don't I don't even think I need to. I don't I don't think I need to. I don't think it's like a um it's not it's not it's not even a desire for mine to even go through different aspects of my life because that's just not my desire, it's not how I live, it's not my contribution, and uh i i i just want to get specific in what I'm sharing now. This is the motivation, not just for me, but for the people that know who who really only only the people that really know me can relate to what I'm about to share. They they can relate to it. The ones that know me, that that truly know me, like they can relate, they can relate, they can say, Yes, yes, yes, I get it, I get what he's talking about. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They can relate to what I'm saying, they can relate to it. So it's this so my life changed very unusually. It's normally an unusual experience that I went through. Very unusual. Um my experiences are not talked about on social media or television, it's not talked about in communities, it's it's it's definitely not even talked about in faith and religious opportunities, it's not talked about. It's just it's it's so unusual that it's not even talked about. Sorry for laughing there. I don't need to laugh at my story, I'm just saying it's so unusual that it's not even talked about.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:39

Oh wow, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:45

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so okay, I'm ready now. So basically, my life changed unusually. Um, it's a very unusual experience I went through, and I think I was around I think about 23, yeah, 23, maybe 24, when I was going through all these experiences. Um basically what happened was I was in a relationship, so my last relationship was about yeah, 12 to even 13 years ago, which is a long time, you know. You'll say 12 to 13 years ago, and you've been single ever since. Um I'm not gonna get into the topic of relationships and singleness, and I that's not my part of my story. I've just for my own um sort of logical understanding, I've chose to be single for about yeah, 12 to basically 13 years, which is a very long time. It's long, like this no relationship, no partner. Um I um I'll say I don't have a problem with that uh in some part of my life, it's not really an issue for me, and um yeah, it's okay for me, I guess. Um yeah, so basically what happened was I was in a relationship with my ex-partner. I'm not gonna share names because that's just not right. Um I I won't go into aspects of her because that's not right. In a relationship, I thought she was the love of my life, I was with her, and we were together. I think more to do with me than her. I I I wasn't uh a good boyfriend. I yeah, I just I didn't I didn't put time into the relationship, I didn't really um put the effort or make the commitment to spend time and you know have that relationship. So unfortunately for me, you know, the relationship ended. I lost my partner in the past. This is the I don't it's like a past thing, which is not it's not reflecting on me now, but it it's part of my story and also part of my journey of of where I've come from. So, you know, so I I did have a relationship, so I know how relationships are if that makes sense. So, you know, boyfriend and girlfriend, it could be husband and wife, it could be um partner. Um, you could have children. I I didn't have children with my ex-partner, unfortunately, so that's not part of my life. And um I didn't get married to her neither, so that's that's also not part of my life. So I'm not like a divorced person, or I'm not I don't have any um sort of children, which that was part of the relationship that didn't work. So we we didn't have children and we didn't get married, so I'm not I don't put myself as um that sort of i it's it's not it's not part of my um life, you know. Relationships and children. I I don't have that, it's not it's not part of my my work or what I do. And then as I was going through this breakup, still still it still reminds me to the day of my journey I've been on. As I was going through this breakup, I was discovering more of who I was, you know. Who am I? You know, what what what am I here to do? Um what's gonna be important to me? What do I value? Um what do I find important? Um normally they say that um they normally say that heartbreak and a broken relationship can discover who you are, and I think that's exactly what happened to me. Through the breakup, I discovered who I was. It took a it took a long time to get there though, it took years to get there, a very long time. And then um, as I was obviously single, without a relationship, and I'm still without a relationship now, that's due to choice and my indecision. I was going on a journey, and this journey was it's basically precious for me because it's basically changed my life today. I was going for a journey, discovering myself, reading, journaling. I was um like observing, looking, I was um just trying to find who I was, you know. I'm I'm not with my ex-partner, so how is my life gonna be? I don't have a relationship anymore, so how you know those are some of the questions in my mind that I had to figure out. And then this is where the life is this is my story, so the reason why I'm sharing it is because it's my story and it goes it goes to show um this compassion I'm talking about. Because I I've I've I felt this, I felt this, I've experienced this myself. Now, before I go into it, I have I think part of my work and part of my calling is to do these three areas for me. And before I even get into the story, I think I'm called to do these three areas. This is what I think I'm called to do. Mental health is number one because all of my problems started with mental health. Number two is homeless because I've been homeless myself. Number three is faith and spirituality because I found my faith and spirituality. So these are the three areas I'm trying, should I say, I'm trying to work towards now in my life. Mental health, homelessness, faith and spirituality. That's the path that I've found for myself. So I found it. Right? And then my story begins in the 30th of September 2014, many years ago now. It's been I've I've been doing this work for about yeah, 12 to 13 years altogether. Um, finding my way as always, discovering new things, learning, you know, trying to find my way, find what I'm called to do. What is my destination, what is my purpose, what is my meaning, what is my value, what can I contribute to? And just discovering that. And then my life changed drastically. It changed drastically, and I had no control at that time I had no control of it. I just went through this deep depression, anxiety, stress. Um my life was just in a completely devastating way. It was dead absolutely absolutely devastating. It was devastating, it was just like no hope, no control, and I went through the the check the the the life experience that changed my whole life, which was and I'm not I'm only sharing this briefly, not to be rude, but this is just part of the journey I've been on. Losing my home and all of my possessions in a very unusual way, which I've said before, in a fire that burnt my home, burnt my livelihood, and burnt all of my possessions. So my story begins from there. That was the beginning. Right? The beginning of your life is homelessness. Is that the beginning of your life? That's the beginning of me finding who I was, and then the journey normally comes after that. From homelessness, I was like, you know what? I there this I actually thought there was no hope for me. I thought, you know what, I can't I can't do anything in life. I have um I've lost it all, you know. Well what am I gonna do? Like really like on a serious like level, what am I gonna do? I I don't have anything, I don't I don't own anything, I don't belong to anywhere, I don't I'm not it's just I don't have it, you know, it's it's I don't have it, it's it's true. Like that's how I felt at that time, that's how I was feeling and then I don't know I don't know how it happened, it's just my life was changing in some way. It's just changing, it's just changing in ways that I can't articulate, it's just changing, and then I think as I experienced the homelessness for myself, I was just my where I where it's it's funny where I actually um was homeless as well because in the area where I was homeless, it's not where by where I lost everything within the southwest London, it's actually in another area within central London, West London. So because I lost everything, I didn't have anything to my name or anything to belong to, I I was I was scared, I was frightened, I was anxious, I was worried, I was upset, I was sad, I was bitter, I was resentful, I was angry, I was frustrated. I had I experienced all of those natural human emotional feelings. I was sad, I was bitter, I was angry, I was upset, I was a bit vulnerable, I was depressed, I was low, I was struggling, I had no money, I had no job, I had no career, I had no relationship. I was going through all these natural human emotions, just natural human emotions doubt, fear, bitterness, anger, resentment, frustration, sadness, depression, unhappiness, despair, worry, concern. I was just experiencing it, literally, literally experiencing it all at that time, you know, and then I don't know how my life changed, but it did. I don't I don't I don't I've never I've never asked these two people specifically how they did what they did for me. I think there will be a time when I can ask them specifically how did they do it because I don't know how they did it, but they did somehow. I don't know how, but they did. I don't I don't know how it was, but they did. As I went through the homelessness in this uh central London West End when I was younger, very young, I was about 24 at the time. You know, I didn't have anything back then. I didn't I didn't have a job, I didn't have a career, I didn't have food, I didn't have drinks, I didn't have clothes, I didn't have possessions, I didn't have a motorbike, I didn't have anything. So I know I know this compassion that I'm talking about comes from a real place for me. It comes from a real place because from the very beginning I didn't have anything, and that's the start of my journey. It's the start of my journey, and that's basically become my life, knowing that I didn't have anything. So I never I never felt like even back then, even even still today, I still don't feel like I I need to accomplish something. I don't I don't have that shall I say desire. It's not that's not how my life has been, it's been a very spiritual life, and um I don't have that ambition, like I need to accomplish something, I have something to accomplish. I don't it's not my my life is spiritual, so I don't I don't I don't need to view it in that way. I have to accomplish it's it's not it's not like that for me, it really isn't. And then my heroes. I normally I have to mention my heroes because if I don't mention my heroes in everything that I do, it seems like it would seem like I forgotten where I was and forgotten the people that got me here. So I can't I can't say to myself I was the one that did it, it was you that did it, it was you, you know, you were the one, you were the person. It wasn't in my journey and in my um life, I had people. This this is where my life started. It started this way, it started this way, and um I remember this I I've only got the memories of it now, it's like it's just like a faded, it's not a faded memory. I do remember what happened. I was um I basically got sectioned in hospital. I was sectioned in hospital because of my mental health conditions, schizophrenia, psychosis and depression. So I was in hospital. Boy, my life. I think back then the stigma of mental health was even more, like when when you're young and you're vulnerable in that sort of way, the way I was, the stigma, the dis discrimination, and the way um people were looked at with mental health conditions. You are mental, you are unwell, you don't know anything, look at you. And did I not have to experience all of that? I absolutely did. I had to experience it, of course I did. I was sectioned because I didn't have anywhere to live. I don't I didn't have properties or clothes. I I didn't I didn't have it. I didn't it wasn't I didn't I never had, I never had never had it. And then it's like a story to me, it's like it's like a story in my life that's just a constant reminder of it doesn't it doesn't it like it doesn't matter where I am, I can just remember this and and find some sort of joy in my life. I don't I don't know how I can say that but it's true. And people say, how can you find joy from what you've experienced? And I say I can I can find joy from it. I can find I can find the joy of my life from from from the people that helped me together. I can find it. I I I know where I was before all of this. I know, I know how how bad it was. I know how deep it was. I know, I know that that that this this is this is why this is why today I've been explaining the compassion side of things. I didn't explain the ambition because I'm not ambitious, and I didn't explain the materialism because I'm not materialistic. I explained the compassion, compassion, compassion, compassion, compassion. I explained it. And then my life changed slowly after me and these two people, and that and that's that's that's been the journey of my life ever since. If I don't share their names, it means that I would have forgotten what they did for me. I I've never forgotten what they've done for me. Even to this day, I don't forget what they've done for me. I don't forget it. It's it's it's it's it's a it's a reminder to me of they are the ones. It's a constant reminder. It's not I don't I don't view it as um and I've always said this in my And whatever I do for others. I'm not the one that's helped more people than these two people have. I'm not the one that's done it. It's not me. I haven't I haven't helped more people than the people that helped me. I've I've always said that. I haven't. I'm sorry. I I don't I haven't helped more people than the people that helped me to get here. I can't I can't say I have. I can't I can't I can't say that. And I wouldn't say that. Absolutely would, I wouldn't. I can never say I've helped more people than the people that helped me together. I can't say that. I I don't say that. If I if I mention if when I mention these two people, I know they've helped more people than I have. It inspires my life. It inspires me. I know they've helped more people than I have. It's inspiring. It motivates me like nothing else. It motivates me like nothing else. So Paul Duranton and Dr. Karen Michigan were the two people that helped me when I was going through homelessness. And not just homelessness, but also mental health crisis. I was in a crisis in my life. My life was like I said, homeless. I didn't have a home. I didn't have a career. I didn't have a job. I wasn't employed. I didn't have clothes. I didn't have possessions. I didn't have belongings. Um I didn't I didn't have anything. Two people transformed my life to the way it is today. And that's the o that that's basically why why are these two people so important in my life? Why are they so important? And why why is it every time I think about them is a constant reminder to know they are the ones. They are the ones. It's a constant reminder. It's like I've never I've never forgotten it. It's not it's never forgotten. I can't there's the the the there's like how can I put it to the how can I put it to you in the podcast and audio today? There's nothing I can do without these two people involved. Everything I do have these two people involved in all aspects of my life. Like I I have explained it before in podcasts and audios and books before. I have explained it before. It's they are always involved, even down to the podcast and audios, they are the they are the ones that got me to do it in their own way, not specifically telling me to do it, of course not, but the influence. The influence. For me, it's like it comes back to everything I do in my life. They are the reasons because they are the reasons I do what I do. It's just that simple. It's not it doesn't it doesn't change for me no matter what the day is. It doesn't change because I'm spiritual now. It doesn't it's not gonna change. That's not it it will never change. There will always be the reasons. It's it's it's it's not gonna change. They there always will be the reasons for what I do. They're always the reasons. Always. It's it's always it's like an always thing, always. Every day, every day of my life. I'm grateful for those people that helped me when I didn't have anything. And when I all I always say this as well, I'm not materialistic. I'm not ambitious. I don't I don't care, I don't care about those things. It's not it's not my motivation, it never has been. If you're saying you're not ambitious and not materialistic, then what are you then? There's no definition to where I am. I'm just someone that's been on the journey of my difference, and that's my difference, the journey of my difference. Not I'm a successful young person, I can't be successful if I was homeless. Not I'm a wealthy person, I can't be wealthy if I was homeless at some point in my life. Not you're um a great human being. I can't be a great human being if I was homeless at some point in my life. So the labels don't matter. In in I've explained it before, the labels don't matter. Don't don't don't class me by the work I do. I've I've always said that. Don't class me by the work I do. Don't class me by the work I do. This that's not my that's not how I view myself. I don't view myself as I'm a specific person doing specific work in a specific way. I don't I don't I don't view myself in that way at all. That's not how I view myself.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:39

Come for the people that helped me to get here, they help me. I've been helped. That that's that that for me that's that that's that's that's where my life began.

SPEAKER_02 2:16:48

It began it but it began by two people helping me when I was homeless and and mentally psychotic. I've never and I I can say this with a bit of confidence. I haven't I I've I've been I've been doing my work. I've I even said earlier I've been doing this work for a long time now, for 13 to 12 years. I I've done I've done it's not like I haven't done the work. I've done I've been doing the work for 12 to 13 years. So I there's not I I'm not I'm not surprised by seeing the same thing that I see all the time. But for me, it's just a simple thing. There's no there's for me this this this this this this is just where it is for me and it it'll always be like this for me no matter what no matter what happens and it's always the same thing. I don't respect more two people than those two people for me. I don't respect more people than those two people for me. I don't they they're they're there there they're the reasons why my life is the way it is, there are the reasons why I I've got opportunities, there are reasons why I'm alone, there are reasons why I haven't been in a relationship, there are the reasons why I've got homes, I've got money, I've got possessions, I've got I can go on holidays, I can I can work, I can travel, I can eat, I can drink. They are the reasons for everything. They're the reasons. How how if if it'll be it'll be rude of me to say if I respected someone else than the two people that helped me together, that would be rude. I I can't say that. I can't say I I I respect other people more than the two people that helped me. I can't I can't say that. I'm sorry. It's not it's not true. It's not true. The thing the people that helped me is the the the two people that helped me are the ones that I respect the most. I respect them the most more than anyone else. Any any any other human being, I don't respect them as much as I respect these two people. Because those two people helped me when I was homeless and mentally psychotic. I didn't I didn't I didn't I I've said I've said in my podcast already that I explained the story. I didn't have homes. I didn't have careers, I didn't have money, I didn't I didn't have it, I didn't have it at the very beginning, I didn't have it. I didn't have homes, I didn't have careers, I didn't have money, I didn't have possessions. I don't I did I did not have it. I it's it was non-existent to me at some point in my life. I didn't have it. So for me it goes back to the same thing as always, and that's that's the that's the whole reason why I explained I explained in this podcast it's a special podcast for me to it's very special for me today. This this this isn't just a normal podcast that I would normally share to others, special. This one's special for me, very special. But for me the motivations are the people that have got me here, they're the motivations, and um I'll I'll tell you I'll tell you just one more story before I I'll wrap it up after this last story because I can carry on for hours about these two people. I can really carry on for hours, and um I can carry on for hours. I can I can talk about them endlessly, and I'll always feel joyful about it. I can I could talk about them endlessly. But just this last story for today before we wrap up because I can I can talk about them for hours and just feel joyful about it. I just just joy, joy, happiness. Um I can talk about them endlessly, I can talk about them endlessly, and I just feel joyful about it. Um but I'm mindful of time and I'm mindful of the evening as well, so it's still evening and I'm mindful of that. Um this slight thing changed my life, and I'll tell you what changed my life when I explain it. Now, this where did this uh the question is for me is where did this gratitude journal come from? That's the question that I have to ask myself today. Where where does this gratitude journal come from? Where where did it really come from? Who who who was the person that told me to journal? Who was the person? Who was the person that said Chris do journaling? Please do journaling, please. Who was the person that said please, please do journaling? Who was it? I I know who it was. I know I know I know I know why this uh gratitude journal has been created. Goes back to this. When I was in therapy, um I was in therapy when I was about 23, 24, and I remember this day very, very clearly. It's something that always reminds me of, especially my journal writing, specifically with my journal writing. I was in therapy and I was like, Do you know what my life look at it like it's just a horrible mess? And um it's a mess, it's a mess. It's crazy, it's crazy. And I don't know how she did it, she just was compassionate to me. She said, Chris, I I hear you. I was like, Okay, you hear me? Okay, fine. I'm listening. Why don't you do some journaling? And I said, what Karen? She said, Why don't you do some journaling? I said, um, I've never journaled before. I don't I don't I don't even know what journaling is. I've never when whenever I journaled, Karen, I've I've never done it in my life. She said, Chris, just journal. I said, um, why? And she said, this will be therapy for you. And I said, what do you mean Karen will be therapy for me? I mean I'm homeless and I'm mentally psychotic. She said, Chris, just just just listen to me. Journal. She said journal. And I said, but how do I start? What like what do I do to journal? She said, just get a pen, get a pad, get it, buy it at the time, and start processing your thoughts, your feelings, and emotions, and what you want to become in the journal. And I said, Okay, I'll do it, but I don't know if I'm gonna do it for long. She said, it's fine, Chris, just just do what you can. Do it do it when when you have the opportunity to do it. This one thing transformed my life. It it's it's trying it's transformed my life. That's that's the reason for this podcast. That's how transformational it was. When I started journaling, I was just writing in books. I can I can explain it again all the time. I was just writing in books most of the time. Most of the time I was just writing in books, literally. Books upon books upon books, just writing in them. Um I can't even count how many journals I have just there of my writing. Literally, just write journal upon journal. I'm looking at as I'm sharing this, I'm looking at them now as the ones that I've written, it's all there. It's there. Just in there, in the journal writing, it's just there. I can s I can literally as I'm sharing this, I can see what I've written, I can see how many books there is, I can see it.

SPEAKER_01 2:23:42

Literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, like it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's amazing, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 2:23:51

Literally, I can I could just see it how many I've written in there, it's it's amazing. And um when she told me, I was like, but I I don't know if I'm gonna do this for a long time though. I don't know if I'm gonna journal. It's not I've never done it before. She said, just just do it, Chris, just do it. You'll you'll see, you'll see.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:12

And then it's it's it's a realization to me because it makes me realise like she was right, she was right. She was right. I I I don't know how I don't it's like they're right. I don't know how to explain it, they're right.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:28

They're right, they were both right. I don't know, I don't know how to explain it, they were right. She said just journal, and I said, journal.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:35

I said, what journal what that's that's that's what I was thinking to myself at the time.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:42

I was like, what what journal what just 12 to 13 years later it's transformed my life in every single way. That that that that has transformed my life in every single way. And she was the one that told me to journal. It was Karen, Dr. Dr. Karen Mitchigan, she was the one. I remember, I remember I remember the meeting. I actually can actually remember sitting with her and having that meeting. I remember it clearly in my mind. It's there, it's there in my mind, I remember. And now I get the privilege to share it in audios. Oh my goodness gracious, it's amazing, it's amazing. And then just one more story as well, just one more before we finish. I was I said to Paul, I said to him, like, look, at the moment, look, I don't have a job, I'm not working, I want to work because you already know Paul my story, you know, homelessness, schizophrenia, psychosis, depression. Um I'm in a non-working situation. What what can I do? The first ever meeting I had with Paul, he said this. I remember careful carefully. It's it's it's it's with me every single day. It's with me. I'm gonna help you to get out of the situation you're in. I said, What? He said, Yes. I'm gonna help you. I said, okay. Um, like how how are you gonna help me? I'm homeless. I'm mentally psychotic. How? Um that's that that that that's that's how you gonna do it, how? How Paul? How how how you gonna do it? How can you how can you help me? I'm homeless. Uh I'm mentally psychotic, how how how how can you help me?

SPEAKER_01 2:26:32

How how can you help me how? That's that's that's what I was saying to him back then. I was saying this, I was saying this to him back then, I was saying this to him. How I'm homeless, I'm mentally sarcotic. How how are you going to help me how? How Paul, how tell me tell me tell me how you're gonna help me, Paul, please? Tell me how how would you do it? How I'm homeless, I'm mentally psychotic, how how would you help me out?

SPEAKER_02 2:26:54

And then the journey the journey I've been on. Paul said, Okay, I'm listening to you, Chris. I hear you. The first question Paul ever asked me on a serious question, I remember it very clear, it's still in my mind today. He said, What do you want to do? I said, What, Paul? He said, he said, what do you want to do? What do you want to do in life? What do you want to do? I said, um, I don't know. I'm at university, I've got a retail job in TK Max. Um I have um no aspirations to do anything, Paul. That's what I said to him. He said, No, he said, Chris, quick, he said, he said, Chris, listen to me. What what do you want to do in life? I said, I don't know, Paul. I don't know. I can't I can't answer the question right now. I don't have the answer to it. I really don't know. He said, just think about it, Chris. What do you want to do? I said, um, I don't know, Paul. I I really don't know. I'm just just trying to figure things out and go to uni and um work in TK Max. And he said, This is the thing that changed my life as I remember it. And well, I think it was in Starbucks at the time when he said this to me. I remember it clearly. He said, he said this, he said this, and and I remember it so clearly that it just makes me smile when I think about it. He said this. He said, It's better to be at the bottom of the ladder in something you want to do than halfway up the ladder in something you don't want to do. I repeat it again because it's so important. In our meeting in the Starbucks, and this is when the Starbucks was in Crappen Junction at the time when we were meeting, it's closed down now, but there we used to be a Starbucks in Crapen Junction right in the middle of um I think it was next to the wait rows, if I'm not mistaken, but it's closed down now, it's not it's not there anymore. He said it's better to be at the bottom of the ladder in something you want to do than halfway up the ladder in something you don't want to do. When he well I don't I remember I remember this clear I remember this clearly. I it's like it's a constant reminder to me of where I am in my life. He said better it's better to be at the bottom of the ladder in something you want to do than be halfway up the ladder in something you don't want to do. And then I made a decision at that point. I made a decision, it was that specific time when I made this decision. I made it. It was that I I remember it clearly in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 2:29:18

It was this specific moment in my life, it it it it it it it transformed my life in every single way today. It transformed everything, and I said, Okay, alright. I know I think I know what it is. I think I know.

SPEAKER_02 2:29:32

He said, What Chris? Tell me, tell me Chris, where is it? What is it for you? What is it? What do you want to do? I said, okay. You know, you know where I've come from, Paul. He said, Yes. You know, you know what I've been through, Paul. I said, yes. He said yes, okay. Well so so what is it then? Tell me, Chris. What tell me what is it, Chris? Tell me, tell me. I said, okay. I have to be on a vocation and a job and a career where I had all my experiences. That's what I said to him. And he said, what is that then, Chris?

SPEAKER_01 2:30:05

And I said, mental health. He said, what? He said, I said, yes, Paul, mental health. He said, yeah. He said, he said, is that what you want, Chris? I said, I said, yeah, mental health, yeah. That that's what I said to Paul.

SPEAKER_02 2:30:16

Paul and Karen were the first people I told about my career. They were the first.

SPEAKER_01 2:30:21

There's no, there's no, there's no other two people that knew my career other than those two. They were the first, to know. I said, I said, I said to both of them, mental health. I said, I said mental health.

SPEAKER_02 2:30:29

I said, I said, I said to them, I want to work in mental health. That's what I said to them, both of them. I want to work in mental health. That that's what I want to do. And he's and he said, Paul said, Are you sure? And I said, Yeah, I'm sure. Paul said to me, Okay, are you sure? I said, Yeah, I'm sure. And he said, What what are you doing now within your life? I said, I'm at um college, I'm at uh so I'm at university and studying a TK Max. Uh I'm working at TK Max as a retail assistant. He said, Okay, we're gonna go on a journey together. Me and you, Chris, we're gonna go on a journey. I said, Okay, I'm prepared. I was I was I was I was I was 24 at the time. I was young. I was 24. I I said I said to Paul, I'm prepared, I'm prepared to go on a journey with you. Tack show me, show, show me the path. Show me, Paul, please, please show me, show me, show me. Show me the path, show me the path, show me, show me. I said, okay. He said, first, you're gonna get your experience. I said okay, right? I said okay. Paul got me my first ever mental health role. He was the first person that ever got me into the industry. He was the first, the first to ever help me in that sort of way. I worked in a charity called Mind, and I I think they still exist now. There's a charity within London. They do mental health work, recovery work, peer support, group work, um, they do so many things, a wonderful charity to work in. And I remember this day as it was yesterday. He said, You're gonna start your career. And I said, I'm gonna start what career? He said, You said you want to work in mental health, didn't you? I said, Yeah. He said, You're gonna start it. I said, Okay, do it. That's what he said to me. He said, do it. I said um but I'm in I'm in um university, I'm in re retail sh retail assistant roles.

SPEAKER_01 2:32:25

He said, Chris, what did I say to you before? I said, I said, okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:32:31

Better to be at the bottom of ladder in something you want to do than be halfway up the ladder in something you don't want to do. I said, okay. He said, do it, Chris. Just just just follow me. I said, okay, alright, I'm gonna try. I don't know if it's gonna work out. I was young, I was 24 at the time. I said, okay. I'm gonna try. That that's all I can do, Paul. I can't, I don't know, I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know, Paul. I'm just gonna try. I'm gonna try. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I'm I'm I'm okay with that, because I'm trying. I'm gonna try. I got that Pacific role as a I got it as a I was a co-facilitator for Hearing Voices group with mental health um clients with my same condition schizophrenia, psychosis, and depression. That that had the same conditions as I had did. And I I I wasn't like great. It was my first ever mental health job role. I wasn't great, I'm not gonna say I was great, and then the learning came. The learning came, it came from that one role, and then I was just mesmerized. I was like, but the learning that I'm getting from this job, like it's amazing. And then Paul said, Do you want to keep on going? I said, What do you mean keep on going? I've I've done what you told me, Paul. I I I've I've done I I've I've I've done this role, I've done it. He said, No, Chris, do you want to keep on going? I said. Okay. Paul worked for me for about I'll say maybe two to three years, but Before we started to obviously I can't I couldn't work with Paul all the time because of just natural reasons because as as an employment specialist that Paul was, he couldn't work with me for like five years or something like that. Had to end at some point. So what Paul did for me was got me my first ever role, and then I said, Okay, I've done it. I've done what Paul told me to do. And that was I'm not saying um like um you know like I knew what I was doing. I I didn't know what I was doing. I just I just I just followed it. His his inspiration to me, I followed it, and then I said, Okay, I've done this role, I I've done it, I I felt like I was good at it, I felt like it benefited people, and then I pursue it. And after 12 to 13 years later, I'm in the work I'm doing now. So it takes humble beginnings, the same way I've I I've had my humble beginnings. But for me, it's always the same motivation, and it's those two. Those two are the ones. I I wouldn't I wouldn't be I wouldn't be doing anything in helping other people if it wasn't for those two. It's true. I wouldn't know it's not not it's not rude for me to say that. I don't I don't find it rude for me to say that at all. I don't find it rude at all. Um I think it's just the reality now. I wanna I wouldn't do why why why like why would I why the question I ask myself today and it's still a question I ask myself, I ask this question most of the time to myself, it's m it's mainly it's one of those questions that I ask myself most of the time. It's the same question that I always find the answer to. Why, like for me, why did I drop out of university? Why did I um stop doing retail work? Why? Why there's nothing wrong with it? I had nothing against it at the time I was doing it. I was working in retail shops and doing uni work. Why why why would I give up? That's the question I asked myself. Why? Why why why why did I why why did I make that choice? Why why did I make that decision? Why? What wh what was my reason? Why? Uh uh I came out of homelessness, Paul helped me. I was working in the community, Paul helped me, and Cameron helped me. Why why why would I give up retail work and stop university work? Why? What was the reason? Why? What why why why did I what's wrong with it? There's nothing wrong with it. Why? Why why did I why why did I make that decision?

SPEAKER_01 2:36:35

Why why why did I why why why why did I why did I why why yeah why why did I give up retail work and stop working in university? Why why did I make that decision? Why? Why why did I? Why? What what was wrong with it? There's nothing wrong with it. Why why did I why did I make that decision? Why?

SPEAKER_02 2:37:35

I've shared my story again for the this, you know, podcast. I normally I don't share my story. It's quite it's quite an unusual story, but um I know the reason why I gave up um retail work and I gave up university. It's a very simple reason. It's always the same reason. What is the reason? What was your answer, Chris? What's your answer, Chris? What was it? Paul Doranton and Dr. Karen Michigan helping me. I I've had I've had compassion in my life since those two helped me. That's my that's my um that's my logical understanding of life itself as well. I've had I've had that compassion from them too. How two imagine that two people transforming your life the way they have for me. It's you can't you can't nothing can buy that for me. There's there's there's there's no there's even look down to the work I do today, like it's not it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't based because I just like decided all of a sudden I wanted to work in mental health. I didn't I didn't decide all of a sudden that I wanted to work in mental health. It wasn't that it wasn't that understandable for me. Those two people were working in mental health, they they were in it way before I was. They were it's true. It's not I don't I don't I don't find my story um enlightening or anything like that. I don't I don't find it strange at all. I don't I don't I don't even find it unusual or weird. I I find it quite inspirational actually. It's inspirational, it really is like two people that's all it took two, two, two people come into my life to change me. That's all it took. Compassion is a change of yourself. Compassion is a change of yourself. You have to if you don't have compassion then you you can't I I'm I'm not I'm do you know I'll put it to you this way and I I'll share this, I'm gonna finish it after this last point because I I can still go on, I can still talk. I can still go on. I can talk about these two people forever. I could just mention them every it's just it's just it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it it's it's amazing what they've done for me. It's amazing what they've done for me. It's amazing what they've actually done for me.

SPEAKER_01 2:39:56

It's it's it's I can't I can't I can't I can't verbalize it in words. It's amazing what they've done for me. It's amazing what what what these two people have done for me. It's it's I can't I can't I can't I can't even articulate it. It's so amazing. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's amazing what they've done for me. It's it's amazing what they've done for me. It's amazing. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's inspirational. It's inspirational. It's really inspirational what they've done. It's amazing. It's it's it's it's amazing what they've done. It's amazing. Amazing, completely amazing what they've done. It's amazing. It's it's it's it's it it's transformational. It's amazing what they've done.

SPEAKER_02 2:40:57

For me it's the same motivation all the time, I'm gonna wrap it up just shortly now, it's the same motivation. I'm only I'm only inspired to do what Paul Doranton and Dr. Karen Mitchigan did for me. That's where my gratitude journals come into the picture because they they did it for me. Both of them did. So when I make gratitude journals is a reflection of the work they did for me. That's that's all it is. That's that's all my my my um my um my real should I say my real should I say what it really is for me? I'll tell you what it really is for me because I haven't explained it just yet. Where where where where are you getting your dream satisfaction out of life? And that's a question that I have to ask myself right at this specific specific moment now. Where are you as a young person getting your dream satisfaction out of life? Where you where are you finding it within your life? Is it with all the work you do? Is it with all the jobs you're in? Is it with all careers you've done? Is it all the people you supported? Is it all the help you provided? Is it with the podcast you're making now? Is it when you're alone by yourself? Is it when you're in the park? Is it when you're in the gym? Is it when you're in another opportunity? Where as a young person are you getting all your dream fulfillment now? Where where is it for you as a young person? Where are you finding it? The two people that have got me on this path. I find it in them. Not not in myself, I find it in them. What they did. They are the reasons for everything for me. They are my reasons. There's no in my life, I've I've got look, I've got like family members, I've got parents, I've got, I've got, I've got like for me, I've got all these people in my life, like family members, friends, companions, I've got all these people in my life, but I don't respect all these people more than those two people. For me, I don't I don't respect them as more as Karen, Dr. Karen Mitchigan and and Paul Dorriton. They are the ones I respect the most. I have human beings that I respect the most. I do in my life. That I respect the most. I respect them the most. I respect them the most.

SPEAKER_01 2:43:32

I do, honestly. It's it's an honest, it's an honest motivation for me, it's honest. I I respect them the most. Out of all the people in my life. I I respect them the most. I respect them the most. I I do truly truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, I respect them the most. Truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, yes, it's true.

SPEAKER_02 2:43:52

Because they helped me when I didn't have anything.

SPEAKER_01 2:43:56

That's that's that's why that's why I've got what I've got in my life now. It's it's it's a secret.

SPEAKER_02 2:44:01

It's a secret.

SPEAKER_01 2:44:02

You're young. You're young, you've got all of this.

SPEAKER_02 2:44:07

I'm not I'm not inspired by what I've achieved at all. I don't that's not my motivation at all. I never have been from the very beginning. I don't I don't get I don't get this inspired by what I've achieved because it may it may sound like a lot to people. It may it may sound like a lot to people.

SPEAKER_01 2:44:23

You've got 45 books, you've got 10 podcasts, you've got abundances of um materialistic stuff within your flat, and you've got a motorbike, and you've got a career.

SPEAKER_02 2:44:36

Compared to these two people for me, none of these things matter. The books of 45 books, the 10 podcasts that I've done over my time, the um the the motorbikes, the possessions, the food, the holidays, the drinks, the career. Compared to these two people, none of it matters. It it doesn't matter to me. I'm sorry. It doesn't it's not it's not I I I don't I don't I don't have I don't have a motivation by what I've accomplished. I don't have a motivation by what I've achieved. I don't that's not my motivation. It never has been from the very beginning of my life. It's not my motivation, it's it's not going to be my motivation, it's not my motivation. I'm not motivated by the next career progression or the more money I earn or the bigger stuff I get in my life. I'm not concerned with that. It's not it's not my motivation. I don't I don't want things. It goes back to what I said earlier.

SPEAKER_01 2:45:30

I do not want things, I don't want it. I don't I don't want what why would I want these things when when I've got porn cameron? Why why why what like for me for honesty why why would I want these things when I've got porn cameron? Why? Why why why would I? Why? I don't want these things I've got porn cameron, I don't I don't want these things. I don't need it. Why? Why why why why should I why why should I spend my hours working for something that isn't important as well? Why? Why? Why should I? Why why spend my my hard working hours working for something that isn't important? Why? Why why should I do that? Why? Why? Why should I do that? Why I don't want to do that?

SPEAKER_02 2:47:54

For me, it's very simple. I'm gonna wrap it up. I could spend another couple of hours talking about it, I'm just mindful of time now. Um For me, it's very simple the way my life is, um it's it's not complicated to figure it out. Um Two people helped me when I was mentally psychotic and homeless, and those are those are the two people I've been talking about all this time. And when I met these two people, my life changed. So my life changed by meeting them, right? I wasn't always in mental health careers, and uh people say, look at your career, it looks so amazing, isn't it? I don't I wasn't I wasn't always I I wasn't I wasn't even supporting people in some part of my life, and that's just my understanding, and that's just the reality, it's true. So basically, what it is is that compassion. The compassion is needed. I think compassion is important. I know I felt compassion when Paul Borton and Dr. Karamich can help me when I was homeless and mentally psychotic. How can someone how the question I have to myself most of the time when I'm alone, and it's even it's even the question I ask myself now, it's it's the same question, it's all it's always in my mind somewhere. I I maybe I think about it in my journals, or maybe I think about it alone, but it's always the same question. How can two people help someone that was mentally psychotic and homeless? It's the question I ask myself. How? What do they do? How how do they do it? I'll I need I need to at some point I'll sit them both down and talk to them. I don't know when that that day will come. I I want to just sit them both down and just both of them and have a a real one-to-one conversation with both of them together. How did you help someone that was mentally psychotic and homeless in their life? How how did you do it? How what what can you can you give that to me? I would love to have that quality. I would love to have that quality. I I I don't have it. I don't I don't have it. I'm not I'm not gonna say I do have it. I don't I don't have the quality that they have. No, I don't. I don't have the quality that they have, no. I'm not gonna say I do, I don't, I don't have that quality, no. How can you help someone that was mentally psychotic and homeless? How how do they do it? That's probably that's probably my that's probably the secret of my life. I need to find out. I need to and I own the only way I'm gonna find out is if I sit them both down together. I'm not gonna find out just by um viewing it in my mind that I know where it was. I I don't know where it was. They they they they know me. They they those are the people that know me the most. They know me the most. They they know me before the work, the career, the opportunities, the podcast, the 10 podcasts, the videos, the books. They knew me before all of that.

SPEAKER_01 2:50:33

They knew me before. Before all of that, they knew me before all of that, they knew me before. They knew they they they i I'll put it to you this way, they could see what I was gonna do, they could see it. I don't know how they could see it. I don't I don't know how they could see it, they both of them could, they could see it.

SPEAKER_02 2:50:50

They could see that I was gonna make a difference, they could see it, they could see it, they could they they both could see it.

SPEAKER_01 2:50:57

I I don't know how they could see they could see they could see it, they could see it. I know they I know I know I I I I need to ask them.

SPEAKER_02 2:51:04

I need to I need to find a way to ask them both. I need I need to find that for my life. I need to find that. I don't know I don't know when that day will come. I don't know whether I don't know when that they will come. I really don't know when that day will come, but I need to ask them how did you do it? Both of you, how how how you you know where I was how how did you do it? How did you do it for me?

SPEAKER_01 2:51:20

How tell me tell tell me tell me what it was, tell me how how how how how did you do it for me?

SPEAKER_02 2:51:26

How how um and just moving a little bit more for today, I think I'm gonna wrap it up. I can go on for a couple more hours, but I'm mindful of time, it's it's nearly literally 9.27 now. Wow, I've been talking for nearly what is it, three hours? My goodness, wow, it's a long time. Um for me, um, it's like my heroes are my heroes. I've got more than two heroes, of course. Paul Paul and Cameron are the first heroes for me, and then I I don't I'm not even gonna go into it today because it'll take too much time. I've got Christian Naughty, he was a spiritual philosopher within um the past when he was alive, and I've got Doug Hood Mills of the ministries and pastoral um ministries within Christ. So I have my heroes. I always I always remember the people that have got me on this path. But for me, it's those two for me. That that that that that brings it brings um love to me. Those two. It brings love. I I never I won't I w um people say love? Why why do you have love for those two? Because they helped me when I was homeless, they helped me when I didn't have anything. They were there for me in all parts of my life at the very beginning of my story. And then they are the ones that I see my rewards, they are the ones they they've seen it both of them. I've explained to both of them already, they both know how grateful I am. I have uh that's the thing. My gratitude, my even my gratitude journals today has come from two people, you know. They are the ones that I'm I'm I'm grateful I'm grateful for what they did for me. I'm grateful for how they helped me. I'm grateful for the way what they've done in my life. I'm grateful, I'm always grateful. Uh I don't have to be I don't have to be rich to be grateful, I don't have to be successful or spiritual to be grateful, I don't have to be uh fantastic or great to be grateful. I can just be grateful. I'm grateful. Um I'm gonna fit I'm gonna finish it there because I could I can go on for another couple of hours. I I still I still want to talk, I actually still want to talk, and I'm just mindful of time, you know. Um but yeah for me, you know, my graduate journals are available if anyone wants to check them out. They're available, they're always there. And um especially for me, my heroes, Paul Duranton and Dr. Karen Michigan, and um you know I'll I'll I will eternally be eternally be grateful for their the help and their support. And they are the ones, they are the ones that um Wow, it's amazing, isn't it? It's amazing. Wow. They are the ones, they are the ones, it's amazing. Um I'm gonna wrap up there now. I could have carried on, but um Yeah, uh I'm gonna wrap it up there. Uh um thank you for this evening. I've I've spent very long today. Um like I said, this is my gratitude journal, and um Yeah. Um yeah. Uh thank you now. Bye enough, thanks.