When the Inherited Story No Longer Fits

As a child, Sophie learned that being responsible, high-achieving, and easy was the safest way to earn love and attention. Beneath her success lived inherited beliefs about worth, security, independence, and what it meant to be a woman.

In this conversation, Sophie shares how the loss of her father, the influence of two very different female role models, and her struggle to decide whether to have children forced her to question what truly belonged to her and what she had been carrying for others. Together, we explore performance, self-compassion, intuition, and the freedom that comes from choosing your own path.

This episode sits primarily in the Releasing phase of cycle breaking, letting go of inherited fears, expectations, and loyalties that no longer serve. Yet it also carries strong elements of Restoring, as Sophie reconnects with her inner wisdom, learns to trust herself, and remembers who she was beneath the conditioning.

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 Disclaimer & Resources

This podcast is intended for personal reflection and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or professional mental health support.

If you are looking for deeper support in the cycle breaking and parenting space, you can explore coaching and resources at www.branchout.life and follow along on Instagram at @branchout.life.

It Ends With You - The journal, for interrupting inherited patterns.  

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

This is It Ends With You, a space for courageous conversations about interrupted inherited patterns, reclaiming your truth, and freeing future generations. I am Patricia and I am so glad to have you here. Hello, hello. My guest today is Sophie Stepke. She's a senior leader, an endurance athlete, and a mom of three. I first met Sophie while completing my generative coaching training through Invite Change. And one of the unexpected gifts of that journey has been the incredible people I've had the privilege of meeting along the way. People who are deeply committed to their own growth. They're curious about what makes them human, what makes us human, and willing to do the inner work. Sophie is definitely one of those people. Today's conversation is about the releasing phase of cycle breaking, about letting go of what was never yours to carry, letting go of expectations. Yet this conversation also carries strong elements of the restoring phase, about trusting your inner knowing and finding the courage to choose your own path. Hello, Sophie. I am so glad you're here joining the conversation. I cannot wait for the listeners and myself to listen to your story.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Thank you, Patricia. I'm really looking forward to having this conversation today.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Yes. What was the world you were born to?

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Well, let me share a little bit for my background. So I'm 46 years old. I grew up in East Germany, and I was 10 years old when the war came down the Berlin Wall. In that age, uh I don't really remember a lot about the years, you know, before until my 10th birthday, but I know a lot about uh afterwards. And um I had a really good childhood in the 90s, um, but it was also really challenging for my uh for my parents. Uh my father came from an established family. Um, my grandfather was a physician, and there was a lot of pride in the family around that, uh, to the point that my grandmother was a called Miss Doctor. And um, I'm sure there were a lot of expectations towards my father in regards to becoming a doctor too or achieving a higher education. He chose to become an engineer, and again, I'm also sure that was not what they were looking for, but um yeah, that was his background. And then on my mom's side, she grew up in poverty. Uh, her dad uh passed away when she and her brother were uh toddlers, and my grandmother raised the kids in the 60s alone. Uh, my grandmother was a refugee from the Second World War, and um and just because of these circumstances, um, you know, they had to work really hard. My mom started working really early in her life, like I think with 14 or something like that. And um, like she was very uh concerned about continuing to be poor in her life. Um, and I and that's that's what I grew up with. Like it was not obviously there, but this concern was there, and I saw it in daily interactions, you know, when we made decisions about purchases, for example. So it was present. And I think you know, when my parents um came together, that uh their two different worlds um collided a little bit. Um, my dad was probably very easy with money. Uh, my mom on the other side was very tight with it, and I think they um figured it out, they navigated through it. Uh, but this was you know some fundamental layer there that influenced me. And I think I will share more later in the conversation about that.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Yeah, wow. Thanks for sharing. As I listen to your story, I'm struck by how much was being carried already across generations. So your mother's fear or scarcity mindset around money, and your father's expectations perhaps of what he should be. That all of that didn't begin with them. There were so many inherited stories already in motion before probably you even arrived.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Growing up inside of that environment, what did you think you learned you needed to be in order to belong, to be accepted, to be feel the loved or feel seen?

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Yeah, I think um, I mean, I uh remember, you know, all I wanted having attention of my parents, and uh, but they worked a lot and they were very often not available. They would send me to my grandmother very often. And uh, and I think I just grew up with learning if I could perform really well, then I would get some attention. I mean, at least that's that was the the clues that I picked up and uh decided to go with. And um, you know, work hard as well, uh, not be a problem, and then hopefully with this get their attention and their love. I think that was really um like now retrospective looking back uh what drove me and put a lot of pressure on myself.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Making yourself easy, I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yes, absolutely. Like I wanted to, you know, I just wanted to not be in their way, not be another problem they had to deal with. And um where my brother, he uh, you know, like many years later, we know it's ADHD. Back then we didn't know that he had ADHD, but there were lots of problems with him in school, lots of concern and worrying. I was uh I'm three years older, so I saw all of this. And um I had to take over chores and help getting him to school, for example, where I could see the struggles and I was directly exposed. So I think I just chose the way of being the good girl, being the easy one, not in the way, and just trying to keep, you know, like the way free for my parents to act and do what they needed to do.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

It's interesting because listening to you, I can almost see the two different adaptations happening under the same roof, right? Your brother kind of probably, you know, feeling the same amount of pressure, but it resulted in gaining attention in other ways. Perhaps he was more sensitive, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

So yeah, that's yeah, or even rebelling a little bit more, you know. Like again, I chose the way of just being easy and responsible. Yeah, be like act like a grown up, have your stuff together, you know, do just go through it, push through it. Um, don't be emotional. This will just make it much harder. Uh, where my brother was more the one that reveled about that.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, sometimes children in the same family find completely different ways of coping and with the same environment. It's very interesting. Yes, yes. Can you give us a couple of examples of um how you grew up, give us that flavor of you playing that role of the good girl? Or or things that you watch, things that you saw.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um you know, so like I was good in school, I was good in sports, um, I would uh I would worry a lot about my performance. Um, I wanted to be always, you know, like a straight A student. Uh if I uh would not achieve 100%, then it would build up a lot of anxiety in me. I was always concerned that I would not be successful. Um there was never proof. Like even in my young age, I could look back and see that whatever I touched and did was good. Uh, but I was always worried of not being good enough. Um, what was also interesting, we had some uh family dynamics, you know, talking about the golden boy uh in the family. We had, as I mentioned, there were differences in the family with like a rich family and a poor family. And on my father's side, um they had a very old picture of the value of girls and boys. So already in the age of 10, when we would go to my grandparents, they would give my brother money and I would get chocolate. And uh, you know, and again, like as a you figured this out as a kid that um that's not fair. Why is he getting money? Why am I getting chocolate? And um yeah, this was just other like this was another piece that uh came in um to work extra hard to prove them wrong, I guess, you know, like something as well, and or learning just not be dependent on anybody, like make sure uh you know you can stand your woman, basically. Uh you will be strong. Uh, that came with this piece too.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Oof. Hearing that, my heart goes to that 10-year-old Sophie. I can imagine, because children don't receive the gift or the chocolate necessarily, they receive the meaning attached to it.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Children are constantly asking, right? Like, who who am I here? Or what is my value here? And it sounds like you were receiving a very powerful message already that young. How did that shape the way you saw yourself as a girl growing up?

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Uh, I I mean, I didn't like to be a girl. I just I thought it was so unfair that uh we would be treated uh differently. Uh, you know, like we uh I don't know. I didn't, yeah, I thought it was not great, and um it made me extra like doubling down on my efforts of proving others wrong, and again, and then putting myself into extra pressure. That was really the reaction to that.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Yeah, I can see that.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Yeah. And you know, and then on the other side, what was also really interesting, reflecting here, um my mom was a really strong role model to my to me, just with the way of how she dealt with everything. And why I always had a good relationship to her. Um, but she's very rational, very uh uh matter-of-fact, task-oriented. And then the other role model was my grandmother, so her mom, that uh had an equally tough life, but she was warm, she was a huggy person, you know, she would be present with me, understand my needs, would really be engaged with me. And it was really interesting to see both of them have somehow the same background, you know, hard lives, uh not easy passes, uh, really like they had to be strong and independent, and there was a lot of unfairness around them too. But how they dealt with this was very different.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

And and I think that um later, you know, like that created that natural uh curiosity and sense of I want to change what I'm experiencing into into something more positive and something that is not filled with anxiety because I experienced these two different perspectives. Yeah, and uh I just knew, you know, I I always talk about my cognitive brain, I know things rationally in my brain, and then I have my brain in my gut, and I feel things too, and they feel differently. And so my grandmother is absolutely my gut feeling, my mom is my rational brain, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Wow, you're carrying both of them with you very commonly.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Oh, absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Yeah, is there an example you can give us where you are taking into account what you're gaining, what you got from both of them? Because probably both of them gave you something.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Uh you know, like the big thing, like my uh like my big breakthrough process and where I really had to um you know realize, accept, and then become active on was the whole decision on having kids. And um so with the way of how I grew up, I was clear I don't want to have kids rationally, because I saw everything with my mom, there was a lot of guilt, no time, it was not fun, you're by yourself, there's nobody supporting you, and you're not enjoying your life. There's really the rationals around that. But then uh, you know, like when I would sit with it, and that was really hard to allow that feeling to come through. Um, I had again like this desire for warmth, love, just wonder, you know, curiosity, because that was really truly my grandmother too. She would just be so connected to nature, and that was something where we would really connect to. Um, and I would just always think or like have the feeling of, but I I don't see myself being alone. I see, you know, a family around me. And uh so there was, and so these two experiences collided really with each other, and uh, and of course, once I turned 30 and my biological uh clock started ticking, I'm like, whew, I have to figure this out. And I really didn't want to figure it out. So I pushed that topic off the edge until my 30s. I totally avoided thinking about it, make decisions. At this point, uh, I was already married. My husband is absolutely a family person, he's great with kids. I always knew that he would be great, but then there was no trust that he would be available because of my dad not being there, right? And I'm like, well, and then he disappears, or with my grandmother that that that didn't have a uh a husband that would help.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

Um say a little bit more about your father not being there. What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 14:46

So I uh, you know, on the in the 90s, like after the war came down, uh just this like people were so afraid of losing their jobs, and he uh was he became a partner of a small company, and this company, you know, everybody had to figure out their way. So he was just like gone all the time. He would come home for uh cutting the lawn, so things that my mom couldn't do, and uh, and then he would disappear for weeks, and so uh he really became a distant person to me in my growing up, and uh and then he uh passed away in a car accident with 45. So, like, you know, basically 10 years into all of this, it was all over for him. And um, you know, and the the big thing I took out of this was because he had interest, he would light up in moments when he had the opportunity to be present and pass and not worrying about the next thing, uh, where I could see he had joy, he had uh desires, he had dreams. And uh, and for me, when he passed, I was like, well, he didn't get the chance to do these things. And of course he did, you know, of course he found his way of doing these things. But my rationale with 19 was that sucks. You didn't really live your life, you know, you really didn't, you know, be happy, and so that became a huge motivator for me to I want to do this different. Like when I go, that moment, you know, I have like my ideal moment to like look back and say, that was great, I would do it again. You know, I did not waste a day. Uh, in general, of course, we can't always be happy, but in general, I had a really happy life. You know, I I enjoyed what I was doing, I pushed my potential and all of these things. And so that became a huge motivator for me to do this differently, and that also triggered the whole um this struggle of figuring out do I want to have kids or not?

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Yeah, yeah. The meaning you made from your father's loss, not not that life is unfair, but life is precious, is what I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Yeah, absolutely. And uh we take it for granted, and you know, and we uh but it might not be there tomorrow any longer. And uh so use that as a guide, and uh, and I that's almost like my North Star or my little candle that always burns there and helps me to go back when it gets hard to say, okay, um when it gets hard is now a trigger for me to pass and get curious instead of uh I don't like it, and you know, like dwell in it or try to avoid the experience. So when it gets hard, when it feels yucky, I have now learned over the years to actually become curious and ask what's going on? What is what is triggering me? And do I really want that? Because again, I don't want to waste my time with that sucks, and I don't want to have that experience. I uh and so you know I figured out this is a path. I have to work through these things. A lot of these values that um I had in my um in my younger self were not my own values. I learned them from my parents, especially from my mom. And but then there was this experience with my grandmother, and then of course the trigger with uh the passing of my dad that told me there's something else. I can have something else. I do not need to live that way.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Doing, doing, doing, and performing. Yes, which is what you picked up on how you adapted young, and then this happened. Wow. And and going back to the the story of you trying to decide whether you wanted to have kids or not, I think you weren't just deciding whether to have a child, you were deciding whether the story you inherited was actually true. What what did you discover you had been caring on behalf of your mother and father around that?

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Yeah. Um, so a lot around um, you know, I need to do this myself, um not relying on others, uh, being your best supporter, and you never know if your environment is there for you. Um that there is to that you have to do it a certain way, and it's judged from the outside. Um, and you know, instead of just trusting your gut and instincts, intuition, uh, there is a right or wrong way, but there's no shades of gray in between. That was other that's this was another thing uh that I brought from there. And you know, like just this was like my major um roadblock or a major um decision that I took that really took a lot of work and was super like I experienced that it was dragging, it was hard, there was a lot of denial in there. I felt also very lonely in trying to figure it out, and I had really issues also to even talk to my husband about that, what was happening internally. Um, and I remember back then um I started with coaching, and that helped me then to stand in this process, you know, really reflecting and learning that uh what my experience is does not need to be really true to me. I can change that, you know, I can change my mindset and I can, you know, look at everything and decide, is that really me or is that something I learned? And you know, be be also um like humble and grateful with it instead of judgmental, you know, I don't want to judge my parents. Like they did their best that they could in the moment that they raised us, and um you know, and I do this now with my kids too. I don't I will not try to do it right because you know they're different, they all have different needs, and I will and I can't be successful 100%. But uh learning that I have a choice that was huge. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

What did you discover you had been caring on behalf of your mother?

SPEAKER_01 21:11

I'd say all the responsibility, you know, uh all the worrying, um about security, about um do it right, be accepted from the outside, like a lot of outside in view perspective, you know, uh performance. Yeah, like all of this, like just um yeah, her her worries. I I carried also her pattern. Like in my early um in my early 20s, I would work a lot. I have always had a to do list. I still have that. I am a person that always you know is driven and has 20 things to do. Um, but back then it felt like I have to do all of these things. And and so Instead of now, I make a choice about well, it's not realistic that I can do all my 20 things. Which one is the most important one today, for example? But back then, this was all no, like just go, go, go. And any moment when uh I had the opportunity to just pause and sit with it, I would just clutter it full again to make sure I'm not thinking about these things, like totally distracting myself.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

What a relief. Um I could see it in your face when you were talking about am I am I actually a choice?

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, it's wonderful. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

What what was the hardest to let go of?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Um, you know, I think like also uh figuring out um like being still true to my family, I think that is hard. Um loyality. You know, not yeah, not giving them up just because I decide to do this differently doesn't mean that I don't love them. Right? And so that was hard, like realizing that I can choose my path and I'm still part of my family. And this is all internal, you know. I as I said, I have good relationships with my family, and um and these are barely conversations, they have no idea that these are the things that I have dealt with.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Um so that was yeah, that was hard and maybe the worrying that they would not love me any longer, you know, like losing that love with them, with that decision to move on and choose differently.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

Say more about that. Can you give an example where you could tell that they there was this risk of losing them when choosing differently?

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Yeah, and and I I I think this is all just the internal thing. Um you know, like just let me use this example of kids. Like the like I knew that my mom liked that I didn't have kids. I you know, it was really like like if she could have chosen again, she would not have had kids. And you know, deciding, for example, that I go for it is like, oh crap, now she's doing the same mistake that I'm doing. And you know, and not, you know, like when you share the good news, not to think about that and not you know coming in already with this backpack, oh my gosh, let's see what she's saying about that, for example. Yeah, um, that would be an example of um, you know, not living up to my parents' standards. And and I you know and our uh relationship to our parents are the hardest ones, right? Because we go from full dependence to them becoming fully dependent on us, and there's so much shift in our roles and dynamics, and um, and it's super hard to do all of this, and this was one of these moments of realizing I do not need the approval for my parents to do these things, they will still love me because I'm their child. Yeah, and trusting that.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Yeah, how did you know the voice telling you you to not have children wasn't actually your voice?

SPEAKER_01 25:26

You know, like it was my head voice. It was my um like almost like I like the I have the angel and devil talk, like the little guy telling me, no, no, no, don't do that. This is not a good decision, listen to me. Um, so there was something like that. I can't say that this was physically, this was just my internal dialogue that I had. Um, and then again, I like I have when I'm out in nature, for example, like everything radiates from the inside for me. There's no head connection, it just really comes with a deep breath into my stomach. That's exactly how I experience being present, and so uh I knew that experience. And and I was really graving for marrying the two experiences of let this voice go, you know, talk like call it the ego, for example, whatever that is. But uh it my ego was super loud, but I had also the sense that my inner voice was there and it uh it was right, it felt really good, and I wanted to bring these two together. Like even today, when I'm uh when I feel this like discrepancy between both, it's really my desire of I want to connect this good feeling with this thought that is not fitting to it, and so I can't really say um what exactly it is, but maybe I just said it. You know, it's like this whole internal head experience, and then knowing also I have like a physical experience, and the physical experience is flow, energy, radiance, sunshine.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

That's what why would we not say no? Why would we say no to that, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Yeah, it's it's really yummy.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

I want more of this. Yes, then we all want more of this. Absolutely. What can you say has helped you to attune to that more?

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Um noticing where my energy flows, where you know, when I feel good. And I and again with my upbringing, I learned to focus on what I couldn't do, where I was weak in, where I was not strong in. And I didn't have, I lost my radar for the intuitive side, for the things when things flow and come easy, they were not valuable to me. I for some reason I learned to not give them attention because that didn't feel hard, you know, like my brain was not really involved. It just there was just, you know, there was just flow, and that wasn't valuable for some reason. For some, yeah, I just learned that it needed to be hard. And so at one point, I started noticing, you know, there are moments when things come easy, and you know, or when people give you feedback and say, Sophie, you're really good in this, and you hear yourself saying, ah, that's not a big deal. And then there is this moment where somebody's like, No, this is a big deal. Other people can't do this, for example.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

And then realizing, wait a second, there are things that I can do really great. And uh, and I think it just came over time with learning more about it, becoming more aware, and feeling that tension and realizing, but I want it to feel good. I don't want to constantly feel that tension. So, like starting to notice wait, there are moments when it feels good, and where's this coming from? And why, and what is the good about that? And knowing that when it feels good, you are actually in connected with who you are, you know, what comes easy to you with your essence, with your strengths, and all of this.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

And so it needed really for me to shift from that it needed to be hard, you know, it needed to be in my brain, it was rational, you could check off a box, too. There was also an experience that uh was not a checkbox, impossible to ignore, I hear. Yes, and impossible to ignore.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Yeah. Is there still a part of you that occasionally slips back into that air?

SPEAKER_01 29:36

All the time, all the time. So this is definitively um, it's constantly a dance. Uh, you know, my I do my personality, my comfort zone is a doer, you know, and uh I wanna do it right, but I'm so much more at ease because naturally the question will come in does that make sense? Where's this coming from? Um, you know, what's the purpose of doing this? And how does it feel? And um so there's still a lot of uh performance, and I there are moments when I get triggered and I realize it afterwards, and I just have to smile and think, oh my gosh, it just came through too. But you know what? That's me. And it's just yeah, the world is not perfect, I'm not perfect. Uh but the difference is where I don't want to have that, now I have the tools. And there are moments where I get all out, and um there's a lot of headwind in there, and it's fine too. Uh, but again, when it's um when it's not serving me, when it is getting hot, when I'm uh feeling a lot of tension, then it's the moment for me to pause and get curious.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

And ask those questions, you said. And ask those questions, yeah. I hope my listeners here were listeners are taking notes on this question. Feel good. For what for? What's the purpose of this? These are great questions with great curiosity. And if you find yourself back in that spot, like you said, you're even laughing about it with a lot of compassion. You're like, here I am again. I I saw that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

So I like, and that's good that you're saying this. I do have a lot of compassion for my 10-year-old Sophia, you know, for that. Like, I um did I like back then I had to hug my 10-year-old one to say it's fine, it's okay, we'll figure this out. And now it's like I'm more at peace with it, and uh when my normal uh my personality comes through, I have a lot of compassion too, and just be like, Hey, it's okay, that's just who I am.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

That's that's a theme across all the previous speaker guests here on the podcast, that the inner child is playing such a big role here, and who's showing up? Is it little Sophie or is it the wise adult Sophie with tools and resources? And yeah, uh who's a choice?

SPEAKER_01 32:07

And I understand it now, yeah. And I understand it now rationally, you know, like when we are when we are growing up, we don't have an executive executive brain function, we do not know what is right or wrong, logic in our.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

This to survive 100% to get fed, to get the love, to get suited, get seen, all of that. It's yeah, and so these are adaptations that are smart adaptations back then, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Absolutely, and uh we experience our world fully with our emotional filters, and we make sense of our world with all these, yeah, and we establish the foundation for then later we realize wait, this makes no sense, this is really not rational, and it's not working any longer. You know, and I mean as long as it's working and supporting you, it's fine. But if it's not supporting, then really to say, wait, do I still need that?

SPEAKER_00 33:05

If it's detaching you from that essence of yours, if it's disconnecting you, it's not calm, it's tension. Hey, there's something there. So, what ends with you if this work continues? I like to ask my guest.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Yeah, I uh yeah, like I just the whole idea of having compassion for yourself. Um when it gets hard, like helping to just move to a curious point and not a judgmental point. Like life is too good to not explore it. And it starts with us, with myself. And if I could give this uh to my kids, for example, you know, that they are compassionate with themselves and um show up the way they want to show up, that's all I can ask for.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Oh, I get teary eyes with that. My biggest passion is that kids are able to show up for who it is they are, their spirit, their essence, their uniqueness, and that nothing gets in the way of that. So doing your work and getting curious about yourself internally absolutely allows them to not carry on um whatever you're carrying and having to work through. Beautiful. Thank you, Sophia. Thank you. Before we close today, I would like to highlight something that has stood out to me across every guest we've had on this podcast so far. And that is that no matter what happened in childhood, whether it was something obviously traumatic or something much more subtle, children, for short children and adult children almost always find a way to love their parents. They understand their parents were doing their best, they accept their limitations long before they understand them. You can see that in the way that all of the guests so far describe their parents' limitations and situations, circumstances that they had to endure. And I think that this is something very important for us who are parents to remember. Because when our adult children share their experience, they're not necessarily questioning our intentions, they're just sharing their truth as they lived it. One of the things Sophie's story reminded me is that we don't need a dramatic childhood event for a pattern to take root. Sometimes it is the small moments, the repeated messages, or the meaning a child is making. For example, Sophie didn't have anything traumatic happening to her. She wasn't neglected, nothing really big. And yet she learned that love came through being easy, responsible, and self-sufficient. She learned that motherhood meant sacrifice, exhaustion, and losing yourself so much, so that she spent years questioning whether she even wanted children, despite deeply longing for family and connection. That's the thing about inherited patterns. They don't just come through what is said, they come through what is lived. And what I also loved about Sophie's story is how she loved the warmth and connection of her grandmother. She respected the strength and resilience of her mother. And how ultimately she, on her own, discovered she didn't have to choose between them. She could carry both. She knows she's a choice. And perhaps that is what cycle breaking really is: not rejecting where we came from, but choosing with intention what we want to carry forward. Thank you so much for listening. Until the next one. Thank you so much for listening to It Ends With You. If you enjoyed today's conversation, do please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone you love. It truly helps this message reach the people who need it most. I should note that this podcast is for reflection and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or professional mental health support. If you're looking for deeper support in the cycle breaking and parenting space, you can explore coaching and resources at branchout.life. It ends with you, it's created by Branch Out Coaching and produced by Rob Gregorson. Until next time, and remember, when you choose differently, the cycle begins to end.