Episode 207 The Head Center and the Return to Soul

In this episode of The Real Enneagram, I, we explore the fascinating topic of the head center of intelligence and look into how our thoughts shape our identity and experience. We discuss the profound question of who we are beyond our thoughts, emphasizing that our true essence lies in our soul, which transcends the ego-driven narratives we often find ourselves caught in.

Dr. Joe shares insights from his paper on the head center, explaining that many people mistakenly identify with their thoughts, while in reality, we are much more than that. He introduces the concept of "soul language," which communicates through impressions rather than words, allowing for a deeper knowing that guides our actions.

Scott adds to the conversation by highlighting how our culture often prioritizes doing over being, leading us to become overly attached to our thoughts. We reflect on the importance of reconnecting with our soul child—the innocent part of ourselves that remains connected to the divine—and how this connection can help us navigate life with more grace and presence.

Throughout the episode, we share personal anecdotes and practical strategies for tapping into our soul child, such as dedicating time for reflection and using tangible reminders from our past. We also address the challenges faced by those with difficult childhoods, emphasizing the importance of seeking professional help for trauma before embarking on the journey of self-discovery.

As we conclude, we invite our listeners to engage in a reflective inquiry about where they rely on thought for safety and meaning, and what might be possible if they allowed a deeper intelligence to emerge. Thank you for joining us, and we hope you find inspiration in this exploration of the head center of intelligence.

To learn more about the Institute for Conscious Being, visit: theicb.info

Transcript

Scott:
You are now listening to The Real Enneagram, a podcast by The Institute for Conscious Being. To learn more about The Institute and its offerings, visit theicb.info. That's T-H-E I-C-B dot I-N-F-O.

Nanette: Well, welcome back to The Real Enneagram, a podcast brought to you by the Institute for Conscious Being. I'm Nanette Mudiam, and I'm here with Dr. Joseph Howell and Scott Smith. Hey, guys.

Joe: Hey, Nanette. Hi, Nanette.

Nanette: I am looking forward to having this discussion today. The next few months, I know that we have really set our intention to mine out our discussion topics around the idea of the head center of intelligence. And so we'll talk about a variety of different subjects, I'm sure, over the next couple of months, but we'll do it. with the mind center, or sometimes called the head center, with that in mind. Yes, that was a double entendre, so they say. So, and you know, I have two experts here on the mind center of intelligence, because it so happens. Dr. Joe is an Ego Type 6 and Scott is an Ego Type 5, so firmly set in the mind center of intelligence. So we'll start from there, guys. Is that okay?

Scott: That sounds great.

Nanette: Okay. Well, Joe, we're going to kind of use a paper that our students at the Institute for Conscious Being have read and as kind of a framework, we don't have to have that paper here with us today. But it is the paper that you wrote on the head center of intelligence and return to soul. And in that you you talk about, if we're not our thoughts, then kind of who are we? And who are we if we're not our thoughts?

Joe: Well, that's a huge question, but I think the bottom line answer is that we are our soul, which is deeper than thoughts. It is our intention, our perspective, our purpose. our way of moving in the world on our deepest levels. Now, some of us don't move in the world on those deepest levels. Even though the soul wants to, the ego takes over and sends us into the world in different ways. But the head center is one of three major intelligence centers, the heart, the head, and the body. And back of each of those three is the soul, which expresses itself through those three intelligence centers. Lots of people do not allow their soul to express through one, two, or all of the centers. because of the ego's propensity to just hijack them. And so lots of people may think they are their thoughts. But the facts are, we are much more than our thoughts. The thoughts are just things that are generated from our ego, or the deeper thinking of our soul. So there you have it.

Nanette: the deeper thinking of our soul. What exactly is that, Joe? Talk to me more about that.

Joe: It's the soul's thoughts that are beyond words. The language is soul language, which is more on the order, Nanette, of impressions that the soul receives and gives that go across all three centers of intelligence, but they are powerful movements of being. And these movements transcend the cognitive aspect of verbalization.

Nanette: It's a deeper knowing.

Joe: It's a deeper knowing, yeah. For example, when we get a gut level feeling about something and we decide to take a left instead of a right at an intersection, sometimes we just go ahead and take that left because We know that that's the way we ought to go, or that's the way that we feel some kind of pull toward going there. We are not thinking, should I go here? Should I go there? What are my pros over here? What are my cons over there? It's not a, deductive or inductive reasoning at all. It's going with an impression that we're receiving from our depths.

Nanette: I want to talk about how many of us are just stuck in our thoughts. And we can't imagine moving in any other way than driven by what is dictated by our mind. I know in my own mind, I'm very driven by to-do list, by a calendar, by what I need to plot out and plan out for a day. And I think most of us are stuck in patterns of thought that are so unconscious to us that we don't even realize that it's very ego driven.

Joe: And some of us have what you say, and we realize it. Uh huh. Yeah. We go, Oh, my gosh, what? Look at what I'm doing. Look at the repeat performance. I'm giving the same absolutely ridiculous thoughts and projections. For me, many times it's projection of what I think somebody else may be thinking or feeling, and I've got to catch myself to not make assumptions about that, because the ego writes its own script for other people as well, and then dictates what behaviors we should do to that person based upon our own projections. So really can get caught in eddies of thinking, obsessive thinking.

Nanette: Scott, talk to us from your perspective about thinking not being the same thing as being.

Scott: I think in our culture, we, we defined thinking very narrowly. Like it's all about head thinking, abstract thinking, conceptual thinking. It's a lot of doing. We're a very doing based culture. We're not being based. It's as if we have this. Unspoken assumption that our being is. a liability that gets in the way of our doing when in reality it's the source of our doing, I think. So I think thoughts are much like words are tools that we've come to feel like it's our only tool. And when all you have is a hammer, everything, every problem, every situation looks like a nail. Um, I think we get so full of our own thoughts. Our primary relationship is between us and our thoughts. And then there's no room for being to get in. There's no room to feel the present, to feel the divine. There's no room for transparency to the divine when we're just so full of our own thoughts.

Nanette: And this developed so naturally for all of us. But we didn't start out like this, right? We started out in souls. And we know that this emerging of ego often developed as a response, a coping mechanism to the pain of childhood or the things that we endure, that wounding, that early wounding. and that somehow we cover this beautiful essence and soul with our thoughts, with a way to navigate the world, right? And then you start in these patterns of ego that overtake presence, which does seem to be the antidote. I think that's kind of what you were saying, Scott, is that there isn't a lot of place to be present. And that that somehow really does, because I don't, if you look at, at children, they're certainly not running to do list in their mind. You know, they're, they're certainly not thinking about how I have to have that dreaded conversation with my coworker later today. They're, they're not thinking about those things as, as soul children.

Scott: I mean, does a child decide and plan out and organize how they're going to play? No, they just play. They just are.

Joe: Uh-huh. Yeah. And then it comes to how do you get back there? Yeah. How do you return to the innocence of the soul child? And basically, it's having the soul fuel your thoughts. Because when the ego amalgamates with the soul, the soul then leads the thinking process. And in the times that I have felt this, that my soul was actually leading my thoughts, it's been a tremendous return to the innocence of the soul child. It happened to me today. I was at the car repair shop in the waiting room and a person walked in who has had a lot of legal troubles and a lot of articles in the newspaper about their trials and the criminal accusations that have been made against them. They came into the waiting room, and it was just me and one other person there. And when they came in, I immediately stood up and embraced that person. Because my soul has always cared for that person, not as a intimate friend, but as a person for 40 years, who I've known in the community and work with on various committees and been in their home and they've been in ours. And it was refreshing for me to know that my soul took over instead of my ego, which would have said, what do I say? This is awful. Everything's been in the newspaper. He's going to be awkward, which may have been a projection, but it was definitely a time when my ego could have gone into gear. and the thought processes could have interrupted what the soul wanted to do, which was basically let him know, I'm with you, buddy. I know that you're a good person and whatever happens, I know good things about you. And I was very happy that that happened.

Nanette: Do you think that that is the moment of grace? Because this person may actually be guilty. Oh, yeah.

Joe: But does that take away their soul or their value? Yes, of course. And then the soul? No. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. The ego has all kinds of trepidations about what Maybe they did or didn't do, and lots of questioning. But the soul didn't. The soul knew. You're a soul, and I am affirming you. And it just did it.

Nanette: That would bring a lot more peace in the world if we responded to one another in souls.

Joe: And there have been times when I could not have done that. And there will be other times when I can't do that.

Joe: Yeah.

Nanette: Let's talk about the egotypes in the head center, the five, six, and seven, who are identified really with the idea of thinking, planning, predicting, understanding, and who find themselves kind of on the hamster wheel of that. I also live with a type six myself. So, and of course I disintegrate to that. I was talking to Sai about what could go wrong about a situation the other day. And he was like, why are you planning for that? And I was like, I disintegrate to six too, you know? So it felt very natural for me in this particular kind of emotionally charged situation that we were talking about to make a worst case scenario plan. And it feels when you're in that, when you're in the emotional upheaval of planning, of dramatizing, especially in our heads, how can we move past that? And you, we've talked about moving into soul to do that, but how do you get there? I mean, that is the work of the Institute, right? It is the work of our own daily practices, right? Either to meditate or to get back into our bodies or to journal or to do the work. But in practice, Joe, how has this been for you? How did you move from from today's interaction with this human that where you wouldn't maybe have been able to do that in previous times. What changed?

Joe: It is the intimate relationship with the soul child.

Joe: Knowing that that person is still inside me with the purest qualities which I was born with. And this is true for everyone. Show me a baby who wants to kill somebody. Show me a baby who wants to lie, you know, for an egoic reason. Show me a baby who wants to make a strategy to outwit. Those are processes that come along slowly, developed. And by the time we're five, we have a fully developed ego. But until then, We're rooted in those wonderful, as Scott said, transparent qualities that are open to the divine, because we don't know any separation from the divine.

Joe: And the more that we are in tune with that innocent, beautiful,

Joe: a non-conditioned being, I believe we have more access to those qualities. And we bypass having to think about getting them. We just dip into them if we can be present.

Nanette: Do you have some ways that you tap into that, Joe? I know for myself, I was thinking about how I remind myself about my soul child. And I have this statement that I read regularly tell myself that I'm still her. She's still here. She knows. And your paper refers to this, that really our soul child is the part of us that is still the most connected to the divine.

Joe: Yeah, it's tethered.

Nanette: It's tethered. That's the word. And so in small ways, I try to remind myself that I'm tethered. So I have a bookshelf in my room. that I pass by every day and on it is one of the oldest things that I own. It is a small music box that is a little girl who's holding a cat. She had brown hair and I always had a cat and also it happened to be brown haired and I've had this since I was little. And when I go by it, sometimes I touch it and just remind myself like, I'm still her. It's a touch point for me. Yes, a reminder, you know, and that small thing that has actually been broken several times and been glued and put back together because it survived travels and movements of of mine while growing up. But I think sometimes it takes a tangible reminder. I remember as a scholar in the Institute that you request us to bring a picture of us when we're children. And for a good while after my first intensive left that picture out of myself. And sometimes I think we need these reminders, whether that's taking out something from childhood or a picture of ourselves that just says that soul is still there and available with wisdom for our present day is actually such an easy practice and such a wonderful reminder that we are more than the development of our egos. Joe, do you have anything from your childhood that you keep that reminds you?

Joe: When I began the Honest Return, and then that too, Soul Child,

Joe: I had a specific day of contemplation every week to open the treasure chest of stories from my past, stories that had been on ice, under the surface, just maybe intermittent flashbacks sometimes, and some stories that I had never thought of before I gave dedicated time to reaching back.

Joe: And I got the idea about 20 years ago when I read a wonderful book by Arthur Gordon called A Touch of Wonder. And one of the chapters in his book is about reaching back. And he describes beautifully his walks on the beach near Savannah, where he lived, how he dedicated time to reaching back. to the parts of his soul that in memory, if they were excavated, would serve his present day dilemmas, whatever they may be. And I was captivated by that book, and captivated by the sense of wonder that he was trying to help us recapture and do that we had when we were children. If you haven't read it, it's an amazing classic. So on his cue, I decided to dedicate time. And for several years, for one day a week, which was usually a Saturday, I went away where I could be quiet. And I was in nature. And I asked for stories from my own past to come to me, and they overflowed. my psyche was just, it was like a fountain. I never knew that there was so much accessible to me that I had not thought about, you know, delved into since they happened.

Joe: And I wrote every one of them down as a story. And I have every one of them today.

Joe: Uh, which I returned to periodically, uh, if not in the written word as they are in, but in the memory and they are still coming. I had a memory of being a little boy resurface about two days ago. And it was me waking up in the morning and knowing that my father would be in the kitchen. because he sat there every morning before he went to work with a cup of coffee and with a paper napkin and an ink pen writing his plan for the day on the napkin. He was a salesman, so he was writing how many cases of what he would sell, how many truckloads, how many train car loads of such and such would he be selling. And there would be figures out to the side and division marks and tons and all of that. And to a child, it was hieroglyphics. But I sat there with him. And this is what came back to me. He would talk to me. And he would dip teaspoonfuls of his coffee into my milk. And it would change the flavor of the milk and give it a coffee flavor. And it was a treat for me because I was having a little bit of grownup liquid that grownups only have, not children four or five years old. And when this memory came back, I went, oh my gosh, he was dipping some of his soul into mine. with talking with me and sharing with me about his business and what he was going to do that day and asking me questions about my day and just his presence. And when he gifted me with those three or four teaspoonfuls of coffee, he was pouring himself into my life. I never knew that then, but my soul got the impression. I didn't have words for it then, but my soul received that impression or it wouldn't have been able to excavate it.

Nanette: Beautiful. That's so encouraging to me, Joe, because I've had more than one person tell me in regards to their soul child and to this discovery that they didn't have memories of their childhood, right? And so people seem to have a certain amnesia to their soul that it seems that we can be healed of if we start to dedicate time or attention to it, that really it's not lost. And not only is it not lost, but these memories come with the wisdom of time, right? you can look back on the story with your father now and see the wisdom of it, that obviously you wouldn't have garnered as a five year old, you know, so you're not only getting the memory, but you're also seen to be getting a lesson along with it, you know, it's, it's teaching you. And so it just, it encourages me that our listeners and us as well, if we set our intention to remember that we will remember.

Joe: And there's all kinds of things that people can do. to jog the memory. They can go to their place where they grew up. They can look at pictures. They can talk to family members who had impressions of them when they were children and could share how they observed them when they were children. And then The divine can come into this, and if we ask in prayer for dreams, memories, and reflections, a noted book of Carl Jung's, If we pray for those, it's amazing. Once the intention is made in our soul, what does flow from that intention? It's kind of like honored by the divine. And in some way, somehow, the memories, dreams, and reflections come to us. And they may not come as mine did in a and a fountain that they may become, may come in small increments or maybe a flashback that if we spend time with, we can come to flesh out.

Nanette: And Joe, what would you say to people who may be afraid to do that because they had a bad childhood? If they you know, if it was abusive or in some way, you know, difficult, what would you say?

Joe: Well, I've dealt with my own childhood woundings, and I know that most of us have some, but many people have more than woundings. They have traumatic experiences of abuse, sexual abuse. Sometimes they, some children have seen murders and crimes and other things and that layer of trauma really has got to be worked through professionally by the person before they can get to the other layer underneath it because That traumatic layer is begging to be dealt with first.

Nanette: Okay.

Joe: Yeah.

Nanette: So that is the encouragement that they seek professional help, clinical psychologist for those types of things that may be traumatic. And choose the person carefully.

Joe: Just a generic person in the phone book or online might not be the person. It most likely needs to be a person who understands trauma, who understands helping regress people to the earlier years, who creates a safe environment. and who is attuned to spiritual issues. And that's when you get to interview that therapist and make sure that they can do what you are going to ask them to do.

Nanette: Okay. That's beautiful.

Joe: Yeah.

Nanette: Well, I think I thank you both for this discussion today. And as we've been as we've been closing our podcast, we're going to do so with an inquiry. And so here is our inquiry for you to practice either in a dyad, which would be with another person. You can also journal the answer to this question. And it's actually a two part question. Where in your life are you relying primarily on thought to give you safety, certainty, or meaning? And what might become possible if you allowed your mind to rest just enough for a deeper intelligence to speak? Thank you guys.

Scott: Thank you for listening to The Real Enneagram, a podcast by the Institute for Conscious Being. To learn more about the Institute and its offerings, visit theicb.info. That's T-H-E I-C-B dot I-N-F-O. The music for today's podcast was composed and performed by ICB faculty member Drexel Rayford.

Nanette: Thanks for listening today. We hope you liked what you heard. If you did, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this with your friends and family.