Talk With Toby Ep 2 Jenny McKinney - Strength Through the Storms

Episode 2 of Talk with Toby: Real Life. Real Faith. features Jenny McKinney; one of the Okanagan’s most loved makeup artists. Known for her artistry, compassion, bright spirit, and boundless energy, Jenny has spent years making others feel beautiful and confident.

But behind the smile is a story of heartbreak, resilience, and faith. Jenny opens up about childhood trauma, grief, and walking beside her husband through his fifth battle with cancer.

In this deeply personal conversation, we talk about fear, uncertainty, suffering, and the moments where God carried her when she didn’t think she could keep going.

If you’re going through something difficult right now, this episode will remind you that you are not alone.

🎙️ Talk with Toby — Real Life. Real Faith.
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, it's Toby, and I'm really glad you're here. Jenny McKinney is the Okanagan's most beloved makeup artist, and if you've ever had the privilege of sitting in her chair, of being in her hands, you know you receive far more than just a makeup application. Jenny gives every ounce of her beautiful spirit to the people she serves. She makes you feel silly. She makes you feel special. What most don't see is what Jenny carries behind the scenes. Life hasn't always been easy. She's walked through many seasons of challenge, supporting her husband through multiple cancer diagnoses, navigating the scary and costly medical challenges of a beloved pet, and carrying wounds that stretch all the way back to childhood. But through every storm, Jenny has held on to one thing. When the painful seasons come and they have come, Jenny goes to a meeting prayer, and God meets her there every single time. So if worry is creeping in, if you're in the middle of a storm, just heading into one, or you've just come through and you're wondering what God was in all of it, this conversation is for you. Well, welcome, Jenny. Thank you, Toby. Thank you. You know what? It's always nice to start something with somebody who is familiar. Yes. And you and I have known each other a long time.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

A long time.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

And I've always known you to have this faith that has run run through your life. So just talk a little bit about yourself and where your faith journey began.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

It was a long, windy road. And I feel like right from the beginning, I was, I think, eight or nine, maybe nine. And I was in a farm field in Fort St. John at my grandma's house. And I had a friend that I made. She was a few miles away, kilometers. Yeah. And I would ride the farm bicycle out to go play with her. And one time we were playing on these hay bales. Okay. And she gave me this little red leather Bible, New Testament. And I remember I I dated it. I have to go find it and look at what the date was. But I think it was like 1983 or something. Well, this is going back. Yes. Oh yeah. Back in the day. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

So I And so what did you read it and you were just curious about it?

SPEAKER_02 2:30

And I no, I didn't read it. I was curious about it and it felt important. But I believe that's when I accepted Jesus into my heart. But I don't think I understood the significance of what that meant. I think I opened up this portal of faith and relationship with God. And I didn't I wasn't on a path to nurture it.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Well, did you go to so you didn't go to church? Like your family wasn't at home. So I guess, yeah, when there's nothing, you didn't have somebody at home to ask questions to.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Yeah, and there was there was just like no watering the seed. But I I look at how I was as a little girl, and I was always very like feely and hungry, you know, hungry to connect. And I'm just kind of like dots are connecting as I'm sharing the story with you right now.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

That's kind of how it goes because you look back and you think, well, I mean, I I didn't do this and I didn't necessarily talk to God, but then you realize you probably were. Yeah. Like, did you always feel like something was guiding you? Or when did that kind of kick in?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Yes. So I feel like I had a sense of of energy and of goodness, and I guess possibly grace, but I didn't have a word for it. Right. And I remember I had a pretty scary time around when I was nine. I was back at home and I had a fever. I was I was pretty sick. Okay. And I was home alone with my baby sister, and I had such a great overwhelming sense of good and evil. And I felt that there was evil energy coming for me. Yes. And it was nothing I was ever really able to make sense of, except I just knew it in my soul, like in my being, that that was true. But I also had this belief that goodness wouldn't let me go. And so I feel like, you know, God had me, even though it was scary.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

And you didn't really have words for it. I had no words. I just knew it was like this is bad. This is the cool thing, is that it's just the knowing. Yes. It's that knowing. And that's what I always, that's what I've tried to tell my kids, is that it's just a knowing. You can't, there's it's too big to have words for. Did you know Pastor Jack? No.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Okay, so Pastor Jack was a very special person in my faith walk. And was he here in Kelowna? Yeah, yeah. So he was a pastor at Trinity. And the night before, or the day before, we were moving to Vancouver, um my husband had cancer for a second time, and he was going to be having a stem cell transplant. It was a very complex process, and it actually happened over Easter that year, which is interesting that his immune system was burnt to the ground, and the only way that his immune system would be resurrected was with the donation of stem cells. So the body is so fascinating how that all worked. But Pastor Jack prayed with Mike and us before we moved. Um, my girlfriend, our girlfriend Carrie, had set up this prayer. I was like, is it gonna hurt? Like, what do we do? Yeah. How do you do it right? Yeah. And he he was just so beautiful. So I would go and visit him after like when we came back home and on our road forward, I was really hungry to know God more. So I I dove into Bible study after Bible study. I was like, Beth more, give me more. Like I wanted, I really wanted to understand God better. And Pastor Jack said something to me one time. I was describing something that I knew, I just knew it. And he said, A woman's intuition is one of the most powerful things because it's the direct whispers of God.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Well, there's something to take, right? Because we all have that little voice, and we often disregard it, but it's coming from somewhere much, much bigger, I guess. Would you say you've been in and out of like active faith? What a good question. I just asked because you know, I know that uh, and we're gonna get into you've you've been through a lot of valleys, and and so I know a lot of people turn to Jesus when yes, and that's it's it's the troubled times, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

And ultimately that's what happened for both my husband and I, and it's been a ebb and flow. Where it's very much the forefront, and then it's kind of for me, it's never gone away, but there had I mean, certainly pain is a portal of transformation, and God, like whoop, I'm like, please, I can't do this by myself.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Right, right. So you've had I mean, you've had a lot of challenges within your family, health-wise, in the last few years. I mean, last what 20? Yeah, more than a few.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Does God help with worry? Does he help you with worry? Well, I mean, I worry even now. Yeah. And I think it's over 300 times the Bible says, do not fear. So I'm not sure anything else has been repeated as much as that. I mean, maybe there's something, but that's a lot of times to repeat that message. Yeah. But it is very easy to slip into fear and lack and scarcity. I think that's what scarcity is, is fear. It's like feeling there's not gonna be enough. You're gonna lose something. Whether, you know, like for me, it's been my husband's life.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Yeah, he's on his fifth battle with cancer, and boy, we talk about like storms and being in it. Yeah. So have you ever been mad? You know, at God.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

I only remember one time and it was like a week ago.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

You were just done.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

I I felt mad, but I was frustrated with myself that I was putting it on God because I've heard people talk about being mad at God, and I'm just like, how could you be mad at God? Like right. But but when I didn't feel it, I really did feel that I felt I felt mad because I forgot in that moment that there's a bigger thing going on that I may never understand. And so with my short-sighted view, I felt like this is not right, this is not fair, this is not like And it's not just you, it's a human view.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

So, yes, it's not just Jenny's short-sighted view, it's how we would all look at it, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Because we don't know. But when I'm like sort of embodied in my faith, I can pull myself up and realize like faith is trusting in what you don't see, and I trust that God works everything for our good. Even it's it's hard to say, and I I'm a little bit cautious to say that because I feel like I don't know what these words are gonna do when they land on someone's ears who maybe doesn't have a faith or is out of alignment with their faith and has experienced something very traumatic. Right. Because how can you imagine that this is gonna work out for our good somehow when it just seems like there's injustice happening?

SPEAKER_00 10:24

So well, and that is the heart of it, isn't it? Like trusting and and believing and that finding some kind of peace in that this is all part of a plan. But I know as humans, we can't hold on to that 24-7 without a lot of like what do you do? You're not on your knees all the time. What uh what do you do? Where do you find or are you? Well, you know, it's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

It's interesting. We have so much evidence when we look backwards, and I think reflection is is useful. It is useful not to dwell there and not to look at it with regret, because regret I feel like steals. Regret doesn't give you anything except like per like pain again and again. Whereas reflection, you can distill a lesson from something, or you can actually see, you know, wow, that was painful, but this gift came and it wouldn't have come. It wouldn't have come if I didn't have that pain source as a fuel to take action, or so what would you say then?

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Because you've been through pain. Yeah. What had what's been something good? You know, if somebody's saying, well, what is good out of your husband having cancer?

SPEAKER_02 11:41

First of all, I would say, would I, I mean, I feel like I was kind of bouncing around coming to know God for like 10 years. So, yes, there was when I was eight or nine on a hay bale in Fort St. John, but then there was this gap in between where there was no practicing faith or learning more about what God teaches. And so I was interested in a lot of things, a lot of things that weren't directly godly, like so spiritual things, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Yeah, yeah. And which a lot of us uh that's a path a lot of people tra travel.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Yeah, yeah. But there came a point when I was working with someone who they had some intuitive gifts, and I was really intrigued by that, and I was like, ooh, like I I wanna get healed. Like I'm gonna go every week. Let's do this. But what I felt like it was always just ripping a scab off, and I'm like, when does the healing come?

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

When am I gonna feel like some clarity and confidence and direction in my life instead of this unfulfilled insecurity and complete doubt that my dreams are meant to come true? Or you know what I mean? Yeah, and had the crisis not happened at that time with Mike's health, yeah, would I have accepted Jesus? Probably not. I probably would have dabbled around a lot longer. So what was great about that was that seven months that we lived in a different city, Mike was in a HEPA filtered ward, not to leave, for like 40 something days. And the miracles that happened, there was so many incredible things. Can you share one? Well, so my girlfriend had she had this beautiful black leather Bible with our name like embossed in it, yes. And I remember so she wrote this gorgeous letter. I'll have to show it to you because it's still in the front cover of it. I wish I had it. And she had been patiently like telling me about God for 10 years. And so when this happened, that both Mike and I accepted Jesus. Um here we go off to Vancouver with this Bible. So Mike started reading the Bible in the hospital, like on page one. And he had this such a sweet, precious nurse, and she came in and she would just be like, You're reading your Bibles. That's so good. You read your Bibles. And she just really encouraged him. And then I remember telling someone else that he just started, and they're like, Oh, he dove in deep right into the old testament. Wow, that's some heavy reading for new lives.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

It's a hard one to start with. Somebody said, Start with uh John. Start the New Testament, start with the gospel. Yes, exactly. You have been a very successful makeup artist in this city for years. And you are right in the face and in front of people. And does faith ever come up? Is it does?

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Yeah, yeah, it does. So a couple things. Um, one of them, I feel like being in proximity to someone as close as you need to be to do someone's makeup, there's a there's a real reciprocity of energy. And I love the gift that Pastor that he gave me, Pastor Jack gave me with the whole a woman's intuition being such a gift because it's the direct whispers of God. So that helped me lean into trust my inner voice a lot more. And I feel like when I'm touching you, I feel like a vessel of God's love. So I will have random ideas to ask a question about something I've never asked anyone about before, but somehow that hits a spot and opens up it it'll open something up where someone will just feel seen. And maybe it's something really current that they're working through or it's a challenge, and then we just converse about it together. So it's a very, it's like I look at makeup as medicine in a way, and I feel like God works through the artistry to not only help someone feel good, you know, they look good, they feel good, but there's, I don't know, there's a special something that happens with it. And I feel like that's been a big part of how I've been able to support my clients and stay active with it.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

As someone who's been in your chair numerous times, I can report that you do feel something and you have a light in you. And uh my morning devotional today was about the light that's in us, is actually Jesus light, but people can see it through you. So you want to make sure your windows are clean and you're you know, because you're sharing, you're sharing. And so I just think that you have this amazing gift, and yes, it's it's makeup and it's artistry, but it's also sharing that light because you do make people feel seen.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

In my childhood, so my mom was a very young mom when she had me. My but whatever you call them, my birth father, um, he left when I was one. But prior to that, I there was a period of time when they lived in the a car. And so I just imagined the instability and stress that they felt, the lack of certainty that they had that sense of scarcity everywhere when it, I mean, times were that tight for them. And so then here you have this little baby, and there was also a period, I think it was about three months, where I was put into foster care. So I think about little sweet baby Jenny in that foundational time when you know attachment is happening, and then and so I'm I'm grateful for uh the journey because it opened up wounds in me that through the this path of coming to know God and the tools he's given me, the resources he's given me, the people he's put in my world, um, it's helped me have a level of fulfillment, supporting others in their journey. And it's also deep in my faith just because I don't know how anyone gets through life without God. Like, how? How someone tell me how you do it because I don't know. I don't know how you would do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Well, ultimately we weren't we were meant to be in the Garden of Eden. It was the sin that kicked us out. Yeah, and so we are not meant to survive here alone. Yeah, and I think that's the thing that I I do try to say to my kids. You don't have to like the self-help movement, yes, it's very onerous on you to be doing you, it doesn't have to be. This is from my experience that it is it's nice to have a rapport with something bigger than you. Yes, and I believe the only way is is the God way, it's God for sure.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

So when my cat Bruce, Lucy Bruce, Bruce almost died, and it was interesting because I had heard Oprah talking about her secret to success being praying on her knees, and that was her answer. Like actually, physically she's on the knees, no matter how bad her knees got, because she's had knee replacements now, but no matter how bad they got, she always prayed on her knees. And I wasn't going through something where I felt like I needed to be praying on my knees, but sometimes you just hear something and your brain indexes it, and I knew that was important, and it was weeks later, I it was very shortly after that. My cat almost died, and there was a series of things that happened that made it complex and made it feel like hopeless, and I felt helpless, and I remembered that. And I had gone to the vet, he was at the emergency vet, and I had to make a decision, and it was a very costly one. Yes, animal like owners know this, yes, but especially like it's triple when you're going to the emergency route instead of a regular vet route. So so I had to make some decisions, and she gave me about an hour. She's like, you can go and decide, but we don't have a lot of time. And so I went home and I tried to have like a 20-minute nap to just get out of the stress because I was like heartbreaking. My break, my heart was just like, ah. So I couldn't sleep, and I spoke to a friend, and she just said, Jenny McKinney, like you don't quit and you will figure this out. You need to try to save your cat. Because the decision was, do I put him down or do I try to do this costly surgery that might not work anyways? And there were some other pressures I had in my life at that time. So, anyways, I got on my knees and I prayed. And directly thinking about what Oprah had said. And I didn't even have a great prayer. There's a bit in my prayer life, what has held me back from praying in the past was feeling like I didn't know how to do it right.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

I think that that's pretty common, right? Because sometimes I'll be like, this isn't even making sense.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yeah. And you know, Carrie would tell me, like, God can hear the cries of your heart, and you don't even need words, like the Holy Spirit can interpret that for you. But there's still this like want to do it right part. And so, anyways, I went back with this renewed vigor of I'm gonna try and give them permission to do this. And the things that unfolded, Toby, after that, I mean, it just it broke my heart open in a new way to the power of prayer. I love that. It broke your heart open. It did. I will tell you that praying on my knees. Opened up people, places, and things that were not part of the equation prior to that prayer. Like a different vet was there, and she had a different perspective. And she was so compassionate. And I said, you know, these are a couple of the things that I'm grappling with. And she said, you know, um, I don't know if you've talked to the Humane Society. This new vet said, you know, I'm I'm personally friends with the president of the Humane Society, and I can message her and see if she's got any ideas. And I was like, at this point, what do I have to lose? Please do that. So I looked and I was like, Romani. I know that name. She's been my mortgage broker for 20 years. Why did I forget that she was the president? It didn't even occur to me. Because under stress, we lose intelligence. It's it's a fact. We actually don't have access to all of our 100%.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

You do.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Yeah, it's true. You do. She contacted two hospitals and she said, you know, there's a vet available who they can do the surgery for this price versus what it would have cost had I done it where we were. And the whole thing, it just opened up this cascade of events where Bruce lives today. Since that happened, I wanted to repay the kindness of Romany being resourceful on our behalf to make it so that it was an easier yes for me to say yes to the surgery and then get us involved with this incredible vet. Yeah. I'm such a fan of Spall and Harvey Animal Hospital. Like they're incredible there, the whole team. And um, as a result of that, I had my first makeup and mindset session, like a live masterclass. I taught makeup, I did some live demos, and that was all to raise funds to proceeds for the Humane Society as a thank you and highlight what the good work they do. So they brought in some animals and they Romani shared some stories and we raised some money for them, and it was really amazing. And now what I have done, it had it was eight years that I had done my last one, and it's really easy to get into a space of I'm not I'm not gonna do that for myself.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

And but you're so good at it.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

I'm glad you did it, and it's probably made you think you'll do a few more anyway. I'm going to do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

I'm in plans right now to do another one. So what was so beautiful about that is like one of my mentors says the secret to living is giving. And we in in the act of service, we're blessed back, but in ways we don't always know or see right away.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

It's why I wanted to do this podcast. I've wanted to do a podcast. You and I have talked like over a year ago. I've been asking you like the world needs more, Toby. I know for sure. With when you talk to podcast coaches, yeah, they want you to have a very niche so that you're not just talking into the wind about random things. Right. And I was just kind of waiting. I was waiting for some inspiration. And then in my return to faith, it it just became so clear that there's so many women and men of faith in and around this community that are high-functioning, inspirational people. And maybe they don't have a place to talk about their faith. And as you said, like one little thing can inspire someone else. And we're not sitting here just saying that it changed our lives just to say it. Like it changed our lives. I know you're the local effects of it.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Like I look back at the I remember and then I was asked to go speak at this event, and it was reflecting on F Up Nights. Yes, it was reflecting on business owners and how actually Mario spoke that that same event. And I remember I texted my EMDR therapist and I was like, what was the turn? Like, how I had such a massive breakthrough, but I can't pinpoint what it was. Like, how did I go from like we called it my failure to launch syndrome, where I would have ideas, but I wouldn't execute on it because I would not have enough clarity or certainty or belief in myself to move forward with it. And so, like teaching online programs and things that I do now, speaking around the world, which I do now, I didn't have that belief then. And I asked her what happened, and she goes, It was Bruce when Bruce almost died, and you got on your knees and you prayed. And that that was that was your breakthrough. That so when you asked earlier about pain and and people are so afraid of it, but it's you can't stop a lot of it. In my life, the biggest gifts have come through the portal of pain. It transforms us, and I don't wish pain on anyone, but I trust that if they if they're in it and they're moving through it, and especially if they reach out to God, you know, even if you don't believe in God, like show me, show me you. Like that would be my prayer. If you don't believe in God or you're afraid that you don't understand God properly, one of the things that helped me the most was the night before I accepted Jesus as an adult in my heart. Um, I believed that I was sealed in heaven at eight or nine on the hay bale. But as an adult coming to know God and like really opening up this relationship, I it was my birthday party the day before we were moving to Vancouver from my stem cell transplant. So this is 20 years ago. And a friend had just come from um a celebration of life, and the rabbi had said to the people that were there, I don't understand God, but I can stand under God. And I was like, wait a minute. Say that again. Yeah. Like, I can do that. Me running around with my crystals and all the stuff that I was interested in, but opening myself up to actually God, got like God, God. I can stand under God even if I don't understand him. And I may never well, we probably won't.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

I don't think we have the capacity.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And maybe we're not meant to. But that's a beautiful say it one more time. I I don't understand God, but I can stand under God.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

When you are on Knox Mountain, because you if you know Jenny in Kelowna, she famously is the Knox Mountain queen. And you do it multiple times a day. Yes, it's true. But it has, it did, it it it changed you.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Yes, and I have a prayer rock now. There's a point where it's right overlooking the water, and you can look directly upon this eagle tree, and I will get on my knees, rain or shine, and sometimes the prayer is very simple, but I especially if it's a very challenging period in my heart, I try to remember to start with gratitude, but I don't hold it against myself if I don't, because sometimes I'm just so desperate, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

So you don't always have to be eloquent, no.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

No, and I feel like God knows me better than I know myself. And so He knows every hair on your head. Yeah. And so I'm trying to just be more present with the reality that life is messy, life is hard. Some seasons it's harder. And the more I can just be present and not get stuck in the past or fear the future, and just be appreciative of the birds and the wind on my cheeks, and you know, knowing there's a sun behind the clouds and just feeling like when I ask him to show me his grace, he shows up.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

He shows up. And I think that, you know, I would ask you what you would hope somebody would take away from this. And that is just what that trust, that rec just the abandonment to just, you know, the reckless abandon to just be able to say, Hey God, yeah, I need you. What what would you say to people?

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Well, the last 24 hours have been very hard for me. Like I feel like I'm puffy and my I I cried my eyes out last night. I went for an hour-long walk in the rain and I cried my eyes out again this morning. And it's been like I actually couldn't bring myself to go to church because I'm just like, I'm gonna be falling down with tears, just because of how it was a good one.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Today you would have been. I know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

I was holding myself to a standard that, well, I am a nervous system regulation expert. I am a transformational coach around the world. And so how come I've hit the wall? How come I feel like I'm at the end of my rope? How come I feel some resentment building and like my inspiration dimming and I just feeling really it was just yucky. Okay. And I was speaking to a friend before I went up knocks this morning, and she's like, hang on a second, can we just like what would happen if you had a plant? And the plant is this alive being and it was out in the hot sun relentlessly without water, and it was just getting scorched, and it you know, the nutrients weren't coming in, there was no protection, and what would happen to the plant? And I was like, Oh ha ha ha. She's like, No, what would happen to the plant? And I'm like, it would get burnt. She's like, it would die. So what does the plant need? And I'm like, oh, well, some water, some shade, some nutrients, you know, some season. And she goes, All the things you're not giving yourself right now.

unknown 32:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Like you're just pouring out everywhere and expecting yourself to not be burnt out. Now I wouldn't say I'm burnt out, but just hitting the wall emotionally, and then, but then this is the thing is I judged myself. So she said, So if you have fallen before, stumbled a couple times, fell down, got up, do you expect you're never gonna fall again? And I'm like, I would hope not. Like, if you know better, you should do better. Hello!

SPEAKER_00 32:36

But you will fall again.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Her analogies were so useful to me because I'm like, I'm treating myself like I'm not alive, like I'm not a human being. I said, I feel like I'm a bad example of someone who knows better to feel better. And she said, Maybe you're just an excellent example of being human. Wow. And I was like, holy smokes, wow. So I marched myself up to my prayer rock and I got on my knees and I just said, Thank you for putting someone on my path to reset my perspective to show me that I'm not failing at anything. In fact, I'm holding so much.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

You are holding so much together. You are, and that's when you say you're not at your wits end or stressed out. You are. You can't not be because of what's going on with Mike. And so I just think, yeah, you've got to give yourself some grace because you know God is giving you all the grace.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

So what I would say is don't waste pain. It doesn't matter if it's small pain or large pain or or paralyzing pain, don't waste it. Turn to God, ask for help. Like if you're there, show me put a person, place, or thing in my path to support me. Remind me of my own inner excellence. Show me that I'm not wasting this experience. Because if we only had one year of happiness and everything is as we expect and everything goes to plan, like that couldn't be more vanilla, it couldn't be more flatline, and flatline is death. So it is the peaks and the valleys that give us the tapestry of a full life. Yeah, it does remind us to humble ourselves and say, listen, I'm not my God. Like, I am not, I'm not a god of anyone or anything, but I want to play a beautiful part in life and I want to be a better support. But here's the thing: I was really not asking for what I needed. I need to become a better receiver. I know that.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Well, you're a giver, it just in by your nature and also by your job. Yes, right? What you do for a living is you give and you fill everybody else's cup. Yes. And so you need to you need to put your own cup out.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Yeah, exactly. And that's humbling and good for me. I I need to humble myself and become a better receiver.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

I know that you you hit your knees, yeah. If you walk the mountain, yeah. When God does speak to you, is it always clear?

SPEAKER_02 35:17

No, I don't hear God's voice. And I think that goes to people's nature, potentially. My guess. Yeah. Like there's there's different ways people have insight. Yeah. Mine is in my body, so it's not an audible thing. Um, it's just that inner belief, that inner knowing, like I'll get a full body yes about something. And so, or a drive or a pull or a magnet towards something. I feel like that's how God speaks to me. And even this conversation, like before I came here, I was thinking, oh, you invited me to church, and I really wanted to go. And I had this imagination that I'd put on a beautiful spring dress and get all dolled up and go have a great time at church and sing my heart out. And then today it was a hard last night, it was a hard morning, and I'm like, I don't have an immunity of soul. Like, never mind, have a shower and put on my spring dress. So I went to the hill and I bumped into Erin. Who I had been at church with. And she just told me three minutes of what church was about. And I just I got tears in my eyes, and she's like, Are you okay? Are you having a really bad day? And I I didn't tell her anything that I was going through, but I just said, You telling me about church today, that the men you can speak to what the message was about, but imagining God is walking with me even when I'm not aware of it, it puts tears in my eyes and just peace in my heart, and it makes me feel so grateful because she showed me that he is, and that makes me go, Oh, I was looking at the wrong thing this morning when I was crying my eyes out, you know.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

I always find it's when you get the chills and or I instantly get emotional about something, then I'm like, that's the Holy Spirit. Yes, that is the Holy Spirit showing me that this is this is the right path. And I think for everyone it's probably different.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

Yeah, but well, I call them truth bumps and grace and grace tears. I'm with you on that. Like I when something randomly puts my eyes to tears, I'm just like, ooh, God is here.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Wow. I just want to thank you for being agreeable to doing this because we didn't really plan this. I took on my spring dress and I said to Jenny, well, let's just sit down and have a chat. And so this is what I love about you. You you know this could potentially help someone. I think it's good even just to for us to to talk about it. Yeah. Because when you find friends in faith, don't you think it's a different kind of friendship? Oh, 100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

100%. 100%. So yeah, I we could I could talk to you for five hours about this. But yes, absolutely it is. And I feel like it's it's one of the biggest gifts because there's such a substance and a foundation to it. And I feel like God uses those people in our lives when we need them. And we wouldn't have even known. Like when you invited me recently, I was in this like bubble of stress and pressure.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Well, I knew you were going through a lot, so I almost didn't. Oh, I didn't want to put pressure on you, but invited me out of the bubble. It was something it was like I couldn't, so I did. And it's like, well, she can say no.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Yeah, exactly. That's the thing. And but you're trusting your intuition, yeah. The nudge to make the invitation, and it's not up to us to decide for anyone. Just like offering an experience of faith doesn't mean someone else has to do something with it, but if they feel that nudge, I would say, just please, just please pray.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

So each week I like to ask my guests to share a living word. So this is a piece of scripture, something that's alive in you right now and in the life that you're leading. And maybe it's just what you need to hear today. I love that you do this.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

I I think the word inspired means breathed by God in Latin. And your inspiration for what you're doing and what you're offering, this is for sure breathed by God. So Jeremiah 29, 11 says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity. Beautiful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

And there it is. There's the Holy Spirit right there. Yeah. Until next time, keep walking in faith, keep trusting in God, and may His peace meet you right where you are.