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Bradley Johnson is a gay icon?
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Justin sits down with comedian and influencer Bradley Johnson as they talk about love, the boys, and homeless guys
Rare wave.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Rare Wave, where we ride only the rarest of ways. I'm your host, Justin Hargrove, and today, guys, we have a very special guest in the building. But before I say who it is, unfortunately, Greg could not be with us. It is Memorial Day, but he uh is spending time with his family, so that's understandable. So it's just gonna be me. But I'm not alone because I have a very special guest. You've seen him um all around town doing comedy. Uh you've seen him on what's that show called again? Love over Love Island on Overboard, okay? Uh, and he is a big staple in the homosexual community. So if you're gay, you know who I'm talking about. I'm talking about Bradley, Mother Love and Johnson, dog. Heck yeah, dude. Yeah. Wow. What's up, dude? Thank you so much for having me. Dude, of course, man.
SPEAKER_00Dude, you know what happened to me like two days ago?
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_00Alright, so this is a true story. Yeah, yeah. I am on my way to the Haha Comedy Club. Okay. I'm in the car, I have a girl with me. Yeah. I stop at the gas station. I want to get a Celsius. I need to do comedy a little amped up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm walking inside, and a fucking homeless guy comes up to me. He's like, Can I get some butane? And you see, he has some fucking sort of drug in his hand. Okay. And I'm like, he needs butane. Yeah. But he's honest. Yeah. Right? He's gonna do drugs. Right. That's why I said, so you're gonna do drugs with you? He's like, yeah. Yeah. And I bought him the butane because he was honest. Yeah. A fucking another homel, uh, a worse homeless guy would come up to you and be like, I need money for food, like blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And lie to you and do drugs instead. Yeah, yeah. This guy was on, he was, he put it, he was like, I'm doing drugs.
SPEAKER_01I did buy uh a homeless guy drugs, not drugs. Well, food is a drug, but I bought so I was in line, 7-Even. Right. And I was just, you know, like one of those things where it's like, I'm just trying to get in, get out. I think it was a Celsius thing, so I was like, I'm I'm trying to get a Celsius. And there was a person in front of me, and then there's this homeless guy just going at it with this Indian guy. And the tough thing about Indians, right, is imagine coming from India. And you smell like shit all the time. Like crap, dude. It's like 3,000 billion people per square mile, right? Right. You come to America thinking like, oh, this is going to be the life. It's not the life, right? It's 7-Eleven. Anyway, so he's at 7-Eleven and freaking um he's dealing with this homeless guy, and I'm just like going, This is insane. There's people behind me, people in front of me, between the homeless guys. So I go, you know what? I was taught to respect people, and if they're in need, I'll help them out. So I go, hey man, I'll just buy the thing. I don't care. He goes, Hey, thanks, man. You know, you know, and then he proceeds to sell soda. Oh, he's still. Yeah, he he he's he's going, thanks, man. And then he runs to the slushy machine, grabs a cup, puts the slushie inside, and then the guy's like, no, no, no, no, no, that's that's freaking, you know. And I'm like, dude, I I could have gotten you the slushie too, but now that you like made a whole scene, now I look bad. Yeah. And um, that's that's LA for you, man. And Karen Bass is amazing.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, um Yeah, I fucking hate homeless people, dude. I wish, like, honestly, like, dude, yesterday I had to go to Bakersfield, and on my drive, I saw there's just miles of farmland. Yeah, you know, when you go on these fucking little road trips, there's miles of farmland. Let's put them all there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And let them kill each other or do whatever. Like, uh, you ever play the video game Arkham City? Yeah, dude, let's just fucking make them like a city, like make them their own little world, and put all the homeless people there and like let's let them kill each other.
SPEAKER_01What I mean. But here's the thing though, and here's the thing that I'm scared for is if that happens, right, great minds think alike. Now, I'm not saying they have great minds, I'm sure they have fantastic minds, but same mind they think alike, right? So what would happen, I think, is they'd band together. Right. I know the war on drugs, but I think it would be more like uh drugs war because they just band together and just like attack. Like, imagine just chilling like Santa Cruz, which is like borderline, you know, border from that area. And you just see a bunch of homeless guys just climbing the mountains. It's like 28 days later, you know what I'm saying? And you're just like, you know, crackhead craig is like throwing a freaking needle at you, and you're like, I don't know what's going on. I'm just trying to.
SPEAKER_00The good thing would be you would be able to like 10 miles before they even got there, you'd be able to smell them, so you'd be able to like kind of prep for a little bit, I think.
SPEAKER_01Obviously, then they would get smart though, because they No, they wouldn't.
SPEAKER_00They're all deranged, insane people that they wouldn't think this through.
SPEAKER_01I know, but listen, that's like bro, a freaking uh a freaking day in Bakersfield, that's like a year and like uh like a rehab.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, by the way, Bakersfield, the worst fucking place on earth.
SPEAKER_01There's nothing to do in Bakersfield. No, I refuse. I remember one time I uh linked up, not linked up, but I was talking to a girl who lived in Bakersfield, and I said it was nice knowing you because I refuse. I refuse. Bakersfield, what what's uh Bakersfield's greatest export? I will wait. Yeaster bread?
SPEAKER_00I mean, Baker's what is that for, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, dude. Miss me with that, dude. At least Los Angeles, I mean the city of angels, bro.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I mean, Los Angeles, let's be honest, yeah, it's a fucking homeless, riddled, fucking apocalypse wasteland. Right? But you know, every now and then you see something cool. It sounds like you're running for mayor. Expense Pratt, bro. I will run for mayor eventually at some point in my life. You think so? I'm gonna get into politics, yeah. I wanna run for president as well, I think.
SPEAKER_01Alright, but here's the thing you start big, you start president, yeah, and then you go president governor, yeah, mayor.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's gotta land. One of them.
SPEAKER_00One of them will one of them will stick. One of them will stick, yeah.
SPEAKER_01One of them's gotta stick. But yeah, because most people they start with assemblyman or like councilmen. Who wants to be a councilman? What is this freaking Lord of the Rings, dude? Counselors. Come on. It's insane. But anyway, uh, I think we kind of started crazy, bro. Let's get to know you, dog. What the heck is happening, bro? Uh what is happening? What yeah, who are you, honestly?
SPEAKER_00Uh, I'm Brad. Yeah. Some people call me Bradley, other people call me Brad. Are you gay or no? And that's what's so ironic about the gay following. But here's what I've realized when it comes to the gay followers. Yeah, I think they like me because I'm not gay. At first, at first, I was like, I think they think I'm gay, but then I realized I'm like, they don't think I'm gay. Yeah, they know I'm not, and that's why they like me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. It's it's an unattainable thing. It's like going after the chick that like knows that like you'll never have a chance. But if there is a slight possibility, because it has happened. I've seen it where like dudes are like, I'm not gay, and then next thing you know, they're sucking penis behind the city. Blockbuster, dude. Right. So, yeah, but before we get into your gay comedy, you do comedy, gay comedy, gay comedy, gay comedy. Is it gay comedy? I mean, is it gay comedy because you take your shirt off? That's pretty gay.
SPEAKER_00I have only done it a handful of times. Um, and I didn't like doing it any. And none of the times were I was I was always at it was always like a request. You know, it was like a request of the person who booked me, and they're like, hey man, I only fucking book you take your shirt off. I'm like, what? Yeah, is that all I have to offer? I guess it is. And so fucking I and I did it last night at the show that I was on. Because, dude, no, I go to Bakersfield and all these comics are like arrogant as fuck, and they're like, they're calling uh I was with my buddy Will and they're calling us casuals. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, what's a casual?
SPEAKER_00I don't know, but it's like we definitely get up for the but then I was thinking about it. Those guys in Bakersfield, the comics that I met, were the funniest guys in Bakersfield.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's it.
SPEAKER_00So I was like, okay, I get it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so at the end of my set, because Will went up.
SPEAKER_01What's you want some water? This one there, it's not real. I mean, it is real. It's real cop. I meant water.
SPEAKER_00Israel.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Israel.
SPEAKER_00Will went up before me and took his shirt off. Yeah. Oh. And then the host took his shirt off and they stood next to each other. And so at the end of my set, I'm like, this guy's kind of a little passive aggressive to me, I noticed. So I'm like, you know what? Me and this guy are gonna take our shirts off and we're gonna see who mogs harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we both took our shirts off and faced the crowd and did this. And uh he was insecure. Will's a big guy. Will is a big guy. He's a big fat monster, someone say. I wouldn't say that, but he is a glutton and an ogre.
SPEAKER_01I'm trying to think of what he reminds me of. He reminds me of if Netanyahu didn't go into politics.
SPEAKER_00He reminds me of um, you know how when they're like destroying buildings, they use those giant boulders and crash into the building. That's what he reminds me of. A wrecking ball. A wrecking ball, yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that is insane. But at least with a wrecking ball, it could anyway. I'm sorry, I don't know him that well. I'm like dogging around, bro. I'm sure you're no, you're it's okay. You're allowed to. Okay, thanks, man. I because here's the thing, with guys, it's like, bro, like, it is the complete opposite. Like, for example, if this was my homie, right? Right. Which, by the way, this is my homie, my best friend.
SPEAKER_00Will does actually kind of look like that.
SPEAKER_01He actually does kind of look like that. If we painted it this the the the color of the table, then this would be Will. Will Will's what Mexican, I'm assuming? Let's get a side-by-side at some point.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, uh, this is for the editor. We're gonna get a side-by-side. Will Escalera and and this what's the name of this uh? Uh Jerome. Jerome. So Will and Jerome, they look identical. They could be brothers or sisters. So, alright, so comedian. No, uh, stand-up.
SPEAKER_01How long have you been doing stand-up?
SPEAKER_02Hmm.
SPEAKER_01Might be over two years now. Two years. Yeah. Which low key is like a baby in comedy years. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. That's what I'm finding out.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. You know, people don't fucking respect you. Yeah. They don't respect you. Here's what I've learned with comedy. Yeah. It's like I see these guys, man, they're like, I've been doing comedy for 20 years. Yeah. I'm like, that's a long time.
SPEAKER_01And we're doing the shame subject.
SPEAKER_00And we're doing the same show. I don't know. It's like, how do you feel about that?
SPEAKER_01It it's at first it was cool because I was like, oh my gosh, like I must be so good. And then you realize, oh no, you just have to be different because a lot of times these guys that's all that they do. Right. Which was, I'm sure, fine when they started. Right. In the 50s. In the freaking 50s, dude. Shout out to never mind. Anyway, um, but it you can't you can't survive on that anymore. The people that have like risen. I I just I just well, okay, two, there's two problems. One, some of them just aren't funny. They just keep doing it. They're just you're like, dude, you've been doing it for 12 years. You're not funny. At least when I mess up or I do something, like I bombed last week at the laugh factory.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I was just like, oh fri. It's because one, I don't bomb that much, so then when I do, I like and it's not like anyway, but like, and then two, I'm just like, I'm I'm a younger comedian in that sense, so I'm still like learning a lot. But if you'd been doing it for 20 years, 12 years, 15 years, bruh. Get out of here. It's it's but again, this some people just don't have people in their life to be like, hey brother, maybe you should, you know, paint pottery or something.
SPEAKER_00And not everybody's doing it to make it, you know. Some people are just doing it to because it's fun for them. That's true. So but those people need to fucking kill themselves and get out of the fucking way for the real motherfuckers who are trying to grind and get better and make it, dude.
SPEAKER_01It's like uh it's like a background or extra in a movie trying to get lines. It's like, dude, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's like bro, you're not an actor. Get the fuck out. You're not, you're an extra.
SPEAKER_01Well, especially because stage time in LA is so it's so uh coveted, right? So coveted, especially if it's like a good crowd, it's like dude, like, oh my gosh, it's tough. And then especially the like the open mics and stuff. So two years, what got you into comedy?
SPEAKER_00You were just like uh my buddy had done a set at the comedy chateau. Yeah, so I was like, I'll go do one. Yeah, and then I guess I just liked doing it, yeah. So I just kept doing it. My first set ever was about like 9-11, of course, yeah, low-hanging fruit, but like my whole premise was like, what if Disney converted their rides into like a 9-11 theme? So I was going through the rides, like saying like how that they would convert it, and so like parts of the Caribbean would be terrorists of Afghanistan, or like uh Peter Pan's flight would be like it would be like you because you know how in the Peter Pan's flight you get in like the you get in a pirate ship and you go over miniatures of like the city and never land and shit. I was like, what if you get in a helicopter and it's a news helicopter and you're going over the wreckage of New York and the Pentagon and shit like that? Yeah, and then for Tower of Terror, I was like, let's just keep that one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or let's just make it towers, whooping the ass after towers. Towers, Towers of Terror. Terror, dude. Yeah. I would that's actually that for your first set? That was the first thing I ever, bro. Yeah. That is a good joke. I I feel like they wasn't, though. I was like, this is just low-hanging fruit 9-11 bullshit.
SPEAKER_01I know, but here's the thing though, most if you I mean, to be great, yeah, maybe not no low-hanging fruit, but to start out with, okay, that's like I could see if I had to drink my hand, I would laugh at that. Yeah. You know, some people's first set, like, dude, I had a joke about uh slavery. That's some low-hanging fruit. And the worst part is it wasn't even a well-crafted joke. No, it would no dude. It was like uh I was like, imagine, like my favorite thing of history, uh black history is slavery, and like you'd have to go to work and sing the same song over and over and over, like sling low, sweet chariot. And then be like I was like, imagine you do that to work and did it going to work now. Like you have to sing the same dang song. That was And you don't get paid. Yeah, and you don't get paid. That was the punchline. Yeah. Now, one, that's a terrible joke. Two, in an LA crowd, they're not gonna laugh at that because they're like Yeah, they're like, well, because they don't that's the thing.
SPEAKER_00Some audiences don't know if they should be laughing or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, man, I was doing some racist shit the other day at a show, and uh, I could tell the crowd was like, I don't know if we should laugh at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, dude, come on, not serious.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it does take you out of like uh like your comfort, like honestly, like I started in white rooms, and I like had to learn how to get people who came expecting not to laugh to laugh. Right. And then I remember the first time I did a black room, I was like, oh, this is easy.
SPEAKER_00How's your least favorite talk show host of all time? Other than Jimmy Kimmel, because he fucking sucks.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say Jimmy Kimmel because he's the worst, bro. Jimmy Kimmel is just it's just here's my thing with comedy, it's like there's so much fun you can have, right? And Jimmy Kimmel just doesn't look like he's having fun.
SPEAKER_00No, he's going up, he's crying about his son's heart exploding or something, and then and then or he's complaining about Trump, is all he does now.
SPEAKER_01And it's just again, back to that low-hanging fruit. It's like, yeah, we get it. The thing I liked about, I mean, you go, and and sometimes people forget how awesome late night could it could be.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01You don't even have to go that far. I mean, go back to Conan. Conan was funny. You had Craig Ferguson, he was funny.
SPEAKER_00Oh, Craig Ferguson.
SPEAKER_01Um, Leno was funny. I mean, but then I mean, Jimmy Carson, Jim, Johnny Carson. Johnny Carson, he just knew how to facilitate it to a way where you were like, oh, he had a guy from the KKK, but then also some other guy from like the freaking Black Panther, and like he was able to. I think now we just like are we have such low standards, and I think that's why the ratings are down, bro.
SPEAKER_00Like, no one, I mean, Jimmy Fallon's playing fucking guess what's in the box.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Jimmy Fallon, I will say, has always, I feel like, consistently been that type of guy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He seems kind of just like the guy that'll like squeeze your your your freaking cheeks and then just giggle then walk away.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, like he's that kind of guy.
SPEAKER_00I heard he's a belligerent drunk behind the scenes. Really? And he beats his wife. He's not gay. Is he? I was making up the beat his wife stuff. Beats his husband. Oh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I thought he was gonna be honest with you. But you know, shout out to Jimmy Fallon. If you ever want to be on the party, shout out to hey Fallon, man.
SPEAKER_00I'd love to come on with Livy Dunn. Uh, I saw that Livy Dunn. Is that is that your celebrity crush? Uh, you know, celebrity crushes, I it's just like, what's the point of having one? Why have a crush on her if I can never obtain her?
SPEAKER_01That's not true. You're in the business.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm in the business, but it's like, if I'm with Haley Steinfeld, I'm only using her to get myself ahead. And I really wouldn't focus on our relationship. Yes, would I have sex with her, of course. But would I be there at the Spider-Man premieres with her? No, because the oh Haley over here, Hayley over here. I want people saying, Brad over here, Brad over here, Haley. True, true, true.
SPEAKER_01You know, like I that's Yeah, and it's like it's like the dude that married freaking uh uh like Beyonce, like not Beyonce, Britney Spears. It's like he's forever gonna be the guy who married Britney Spears.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. I don't want to be Haley Steinfeld's boyfriend. Yeah, yeah. I want Haley Steinfeld to be Brad Johnson's side hoe. One of them. Yeah. I want a roster of whores. Tot. I want Haley Steinfeld to be my main side.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was gonna ask you the roster. I was like, all right.
SPEAKER_00So Haley Steinfeld is the immediate go-to. Like, if I'm horny, I mean I hit her up. If she's busy, that's when we go to the rest of the roster. So we'll put Sydney Sweeney in there just because I'm sure that's a good time.
SPEAKER_01It's it's no, it's not, dude. And I'll tell you why it's not, dude. After you get past the whatever, how she looks, she's got Down syndrome, bro. People say that like.
SPEAKER_00How dare you? This is bro, this is Haley. Wait, wait, who are you talking about Sydney Steinfeld? Haley Stein. You know Haley Steinfeld, right? I do know Haley. Married Josh Allen, got plowed in the pussy, now has a baby. Um this is Sydney Sweeney. Cindy Sweeney now read. This is this is Sydney Sweeney. Yes, and it's so what? So what? That's illegal. You can't manage the special community. I want a woman who doesn't know how to read. Then she doesn't have ideas. That's what I want. So she's number two. Okay. We're going Cindy Sweeney, number two. Number three, Anna Day Armist. A little classier.
SPEAKER_01Wow, okay I I I I Okay, first of all, I that that is insane. First of all, that she's on the list of she's on the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00She's on the side, yeah, the sidehouse. Insane. That is that is a wife. Because I'm saving the wife spot for my ex-girlfriend who hates me. And she'll always have that spot is always over her in my heart. And but you can have multiple why is there only one person on the wife list? That's who I'm saving it for, right? Okay. So, like, and then once we're married, I'll cheat on her with the side hose. And so number three, Annade Armist. Okay. Because it's a little classier, it's a little spices it up. She's uh Spanish or Spanish, she's she's she's angelic, that's what she is guessing. She's angelic. Yeah, yeah. And then I don't want to put Margot Robbie in there, but I feel like you have to have to.
SPEAKER_01You already have it. No, you don't have to. You already put the have to person in there in the Sunny Sunny. Unless you actually find Sydney Sweeney trying to.
SPEAKER_00She is. I don't understand. People say it looks like she has down syndrome. She looks like a like a beautiful angel. Have you been seeing the Euphoria clips coming out? I refuse. I guess in the last episode of Euphoria, um, Jacob Alordi's character, Nate Jacobs, was buried alive. Okay. And they left him an air hole, and a snake goes through the air hole, bites him, kills him.
SPEAKER_01That is a crazy spoiler.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, spoiler alert. And Homelander died this week on The Boys.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, I don't even want to talk about that.
SPEAKER_00Did you watch it? I did. Dude, let's talk about Homelander's death and the boys. Let's talk about the last season of the boys.
SPEAKER_01Let's talk about the fact that no show can get any ending right except for Breaking Bad.
SPEAKER_00Right? I like Better Call Saul's ending. I don't know if you watched Better Call Saul. They had a good ending. It was it was good. The boys, dude. I will say this. The last season had, I think, one good episode, and it was like, remember the episode where they're doing all the like the one shots of the seven?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. No, no, dude. Freaking Homelander bending down, being like, here. With the dog, the dog's point of view. Oh, yeah. Heck no, bro. That's not funny. That was funny. Honestly, that was kind of funny. It did freak me. The crazy thing about the boys, it it was like, okay, I can't be shocked because I've seen everything. And then you're like, no, I haven't, because they just did it.
SPEAKER_00Dude, how did you feel about Homelander begging for his life? I okay, I was not satisfied with the last episode. I thought we were gonna see Homelander like destroying the earth.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, I'm so sorry. Who gives a flying Frenchie about Frenchie, dude? Oh, who fuck Frenchie? Who cares? Who gives a but mid- but but but but mid-fricking fight, freaking the Chinese Chinese chick is like, oh my god, that shit was horrible.
SPEAKER_00Don't muncure, moncure. Man, shut the fuck up about cure dog. Yeah. I did like Homelander begging like a fucking dog. That was satisfying. Because it was crazy. I don't know about you. It bl I kept replaying the scene because I was I was like, oh it was awesome. It was crazy to see him.
SPEAKER_01It's crazy. And eating shit? It's like I fuck your dick, I eat some stick. You're like, oh my gosh, dude. It was like a crack kid down in the block, son.
SPEAKER_00It was crazy to see Homelander like fucking diminish to just like a pathetic. Yeah, I mean, he was another without his powers.
SPEAKER_01But it is insane how fast it flipped. Because at least you think, oh, okay, for a second he's like tries to be the tough guy. But immediately after you realize, oh gosh, and then you saw like him like try to sidestep. But then they ruined it by killing Butcher, and you're like, okay, and then after freaking, what's his name? Freaking uh what's his face? Jack Quaid's son. I forgot his character. Huey. Huey's is like the stay-at-home dad while his pregnant wife is out saving the world. It's like, alright, we get it, dude. Like, girl power, but also that's the most interesting.
SPEAKER_00Dude, the president calls him and is like, can you run like the superhero division and keep them under check? He's like, nah, I'm gonna fucking do my own thing.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna stay at home with my again, yeah. It's insane.
SPEAKER_00Dude, it's like Huey, take that job, bro, so we don't get another Homelander situation, which you're going to. What, but again, it's all about Butcher was right. He should have fucking dude, you gotta get rid of all the soups.
SPEAKER_01What I'm evil. Here's what I would have wanted, honestly, with an ending. Okay. And this is gonna sound crazy, but I genuinely would have enjoyed Homelander winning. That would have been badass. Just be just because shows are so safe. They play it way too safe. It's like, dude, sometimes the good guy doesn't win, sometimes everything is F, but they couldn't do that. So then I was like, alright, cool. What would have been better is if Butcher actually destroyed everybody. You know what I'm saying? But that didn't happen either. What ended up happening was Butcher dies, gets shot, and he's like, Oh, I get it. You can't and you're like, no, freaking try to shoot him back. And then freaking Frenchie. I I'm like, I don't care. I will say the funniest I did laugh was when uh the chick who's like the president or whatever, she's like, I had yeah, she's like, I had nothing to do with it, blah blah blah, and I'm not going to resign. That was the former president right before she got a first female president. Yeah, yeah. So that should tell you something. Anyway, so it just I don't know, man.
SPEAKER_00Millie Bobby is also on my roster. That's someone I forgot about, but I'm putting Millie Bobby on the roster along with Livy Don. Okay. And they, it's like, yeah. Honestly, who's my number two?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That's just I'll be honest, dude. Your roster sucks. What makes it suck isn't the fact that there's good people, it's the fact that you have good people mixed in with freaking Jemima. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00There's no Jemimas in there. Sydney Sweeney is a beautiful angel with a beautiful, hot, fucking sexy face. Did we did you not see her singing at Stagecoach or whatever?
SPEAKER_01She looked good. I was okay, so speaking of Stagecoach, I'll give you my list. Alright? And this isn't my freaking horror list. This is my unattainable girlfriend list. Okay. Not unattainable because you know I'm ready. You're gonna get them. This is my list of crushes currently, I would say. Of celebrity crushes. Um sorry, someone psyched me. Alright, uh, number one. And this is currently, this could change like tomorrow. Okay. Ella Langley. That's Ella Langley.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow, she's hot.
SPEAKER_01No, Ella Langley, dude, she's the girl like, excuse me. She's like going viral with like the Obama stuff. Yeah, yeah. And they're probably dating and whatever. But um, Ella Langley's number top. I just like a I don't know what it is, man. I think it's because slavery has been done for about you know 150 years and we have rights now, and we can actually do it now. So I I don't know, just that something about that southern white girl and that can sing it's hot. Anyway, Ella Langley. Okay, and then here, okay, and this is just for OG sake, because you know, I, you know, we're what are you, 24?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, 26.
SPEAKER_01There's certain ways that guys talk about where it's like a generational. Like for me, mine is uh Sabrina Carpenter. But hear me out. Oh, she's there too. Hear me out, but hear me out, hear me out. The reason why Sabrina Carpenter's there for me is because when I was a kid, I didn't have crushes on like adults. So, like, for example, okay, besides like freaking You have crushes on little kids. Yeah, as a little kid, no Jeffrey Espine, alright? Epstein. Epstein. Sorry, I can't say Jewish names right. Anyway, um, so like, for example, I had I had a crush on Sabrina Carpenter because I watched Girls. I'll have a crush on Peyton Liz because of Peyton Litz is a crazy pull, bro, from Jesse. It's from Jesse. You know what I know about Peyton Litz, bro? So I still bro, you know what's crazy? I saw the Indian kid walking around New York last year, and I was like, I know you.
SPEAKER_00The one from Jesse? Yeah. What's interesting about him? He is dating one of his old co-stars from Jesse, who used to be a guy and transition into a woman, and he's dating a trans woman from Jesse. That's not a joke. That is real. Is he gay? That's the question. If you date a trans woman with a penis, does that make you gay?
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_00Now, the trans community would be like, well, no, because that's a woman. So you're straight. However, if you have a fucking penis, I think that that's a little gay.
SPEAKER_01It's here's the thing. It's definitely not not gay. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know what it is, but it's definitely not not gay. Because what's not not gay, what's not gay, is me going to a woman and getting with her. You know what I'm saying? Right. But if there's been a history of you not being a woman at some point in your life, then it's it's up for debate. I don't know what it is, and I personally would rather not even go there. But again, that's up to you. I don't care. It's a free country. Do whatever you want. So I don't even know how we got. Oh, yeah, because the list in Sabrina Carpenter. So Sabrina Carver's on my list, and then honestly, bro, I don't really care. I mean, it's I I can only keep a couple on the list, bro. Dude, I have a test, and I think we should finally confirm if you're gay or not right now. Let's do it. Let's do it. So I have a test, and I'm gonna read it off, and you're just gonna go with the um with the answers. Okay. Uh, okay, and it's gonna be really fast, okay? And then we'll finally know, your fans will finally know if you're gay. You guys are gonna know if I'm fucking I'm gay. Yeah, alright? So if he's not gay, keep doing it because it's hilarious. But if he is gay, go harder, okay? Alright. Have you ever had feelings for a same-gender close friend? I think so, don't think so, or nope.
SPEAKER_00Now, feelings like, you know, I love my friends, you know. Love my boys. Is that a feeling? Does that count as a feeling?
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna put don't think so. Okay. Next. Have you ever kissed someone or wanted to kiss someone of the same gender? I kissed my dad. Okay, so definitely, and it was great. Alright.
SPEAKER_00How do you feel about queer characters in TV shows and movies? Well, we did just talk about how I had to fast forward through the Frenchie. Okay, so I like positive reputation, but they don't stand out to me. I like Oscar in The Office, but he's not my favorite. Okay.
SPEAKER_01You know? When someone asks you who you're crushing on, a name, a name comes to mind immediately. It's the someone of the same gender. I make up a name or pick someone random. I literally don't get the big deal of crushes, or I talk about someone of the opposite sex who I'm generally. Well, we did just talk about Madison Beer for Little Men Lil'. Anyway, um, so has anyone ever asked you if you were gay? Uh, you, yes, today. Yeah, so people pretty much assume that me about me all the time. Yeah, you're you're you're pretty much the same. Anyway, when you imagine being in a relationship, what do you picture? I can only see myself with someone of the same sex, I'm not sure. I'll probably be with someone of the opposite sex, or I think alone forever. Is that an option? I'm gonna put any gender seems okay. How would you feel about identifying as gay? I wouldn't like it. Because then that would my high school nickname would might maybe come back. It's already back, buddy. No, I really don't think that's me.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01However, have have have have have you ever felt attracted to someone of the same gender?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01Okay, noop. Do you ever fantasize about being with someone of the same gender?
SPEAKER_00No. But I will say this. Yeah. Uh Harrison Ford, I'm a big fan. I have his autograph in my bathroom. Sometimes.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna put sometimes. If you scroll through your uh feed or for you page, do you see content from queer accreditors?
SPEAKER_00You know what I don't?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Whoa. It's mainly just like Lego bullshit or like Homelander edits. Okay. Or uh pretty gay though. But well, the Homelander edits are a little gay. But dude, Homelander's so fire, dude. Like, I want I want him to win the boys.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, he's the man. So I'll okay, I'll I'll put probably not. Okay. Uh, flash forward five years. How likely is it that your partner is the same gender as you?
SPEAKER_00There is a 0% chance. However, I will say in five years, I don't even know if I'll be alive.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so possibly, but not super likely. Okay. Would you be comfortable using an LGBTQ plus dating app? Absolutely. I'm hoping to give it to no.
SPEAKER_00Dude, you actually, I kind of have a little bit of a story. There people create dating profiles of me. Like they pretend to be me, they catfish people as me. You're the oh. That's something that's been happening to me recently. And it's on every app, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01Wow. That is but that's pretty charming.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I've never- I don't have any of the dating apps. And that's one of the reasons I don't do it, because uh there was one time I was on it like a year ago, and someone was like, I already matched with you. Like, and they were all confused. I was like, Oh, that's not me.
SPEAKER_01And it's probably just a gay dude.
SPEAKER_00It's definitely a gay, it's either a gay dude or just like some little beta cuck trying to get some nudes from a girl. Crazy. Yeah. Crazy.
SPEAKER_01Um, so I'm gonna say no, that makes me uncomfortable. Uh, are there any uh uh are uh are there a lot of LGBTQ individuals in your friend group? Do you have a lot of gay friends?
SPEAKER_00I have a gay brother. Okay. I do have a gay friend named Jose. That's pretty gay. So I have I have two.
SPEAKER_01And how many friends do you have? I don't know. Alright, so I'm gonna say not really most of my friends are straight. Most are straight. Yeah. And then what inspired you to take this quid? I think I'm out. I was asked. I want to confirm.
SPEAKER_00I wanted to confirm if I was gay.
SPEAKER_01I want to confirm my nickname from high school if it was true. Alright, so the results are coming in, and I'm gonna freaking get a gem roll. The results are you're probably straight. So you're not you're not definitely straight, you're probably straight. Probably straight. Probably straight, which honestly, I could have said that like 10 minutes ago, but you know, that's I'll take that.
SPEAKER_00That was a good quiz. Because I actually feel like I learned a lot about myself. Because when you asked me, do I have any feelings for my friends? I started thinking about how much I love my boys. Lately, I've been poisoning them and manipulating them a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, I've been kind of a bad friend, but it's all out of love. Shut up, Bobby Lee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Crazy.
SPEAKER_01So, alright, so now that we know that you're not gay, dude, tell us about this very straight um what was the show again? Love Island.
SPEAKER_00Love Overboard. Yeah, it was cool. I mean, I was there for a month and then they cut out most of my shit because I didn't find uh a connection. You're there for a month for a month, and I didn't find a connection with a girl. Um, because I hated most of the women there. Yeah. They were all fucking like stupid fucking process.
SPEAKER_01It looks like the worst of LA women.
SPEAKER_00It it was like Miami, LA, New York girls and one Kansas City. And the girl from Kansas City is like the one everybody likes, but she was she was crying and she had BO.
SPEAKER_01Like, dude, it was just like So what was the con I didn't, I mean, I literally, dude, I kid you not. I went to your episode, I watched like five seconds, you were dancing on some chick. I was like, all right, I'm I'm done.
SPEAKER_00Leela. Leela. That's who I was dancing on, and Leela was Leela's hot. Yeah, okay. She's 21 years old, a new 21-year-old. Ooh. You're not into the I I like older women.
SPEAKER_01I desire that's me. That's me.
SPEAKER_00I desire a younger woman. That is, well, yeah, you know. If you're 18 years old, my name is Brad. I'm 26, and I'm interested in you. Um 18 or 19.
SPEAKER_01I'm not. If you're 19 plus six, dude, that's perfect.
SPEAKER_0019 plus six? 25? Okay.
SPEAKER_0125.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, so Leela was hot. Okay. However, I knew. Here's my problem. I don't have confidence in myself with women. Really? I really don't. I came across as confident. That's good because I I have the lowest confidence out of anyone I've ever met. And people tell me that all the time. My roommate was telling me yesterday, he's like, I don't understand why your confidence is so low. It just is, dude. There's something like I used to date a girl, my last girlfriend, who we've I've been single for two years now, but she really just like diminished me, and I just don't believe in myself anymore.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I don't know why. Probably because you're gay.
SPEAKER_00Dude, here's the thing, and like this is very hack and low-hanging fruit, but one another joke that I used to like one of the first jokes I ever did was like how I had a gay following, how I wish I was gay, yeah, because my life would be easier.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00But I mean, so many comics have done that, like same premise. But um, yeah, dude, I don't know. And the problem is I've just been in love with that girl for ever since we broke up, and I'm only in love with her because she broke up with me. I didn't like her when we were together.
SPEAKER_01Bro, dude, I feel you, and I'll tell you what, there is something about big because I got broken up with the two, and uh, this was it wasn't two, it was because it was like a year ago. No, but it it it's because there's like no real closure. Even if you're like, alright, well, I hope you move on and live life, but there's there's no like I want this because you didn't want this, you know. Maybe like looking back, you're like, okay, I'm I see why it happened.
SPEAKER_00I was like, yeah, I thanks for folding my laundry and like doing the here's the thing.
SPEAKER_01Wait, who is this? Your mom, what's going on here?
SPEAKER_00My last my last girlfriend, she would fold my laundry, which is great, but she would also wash the dishes, and she was very bad at washing the dishes. She actually made it them dirtier, which is like, how do you even do that? But she was bad at washing the dishes, yeah, great at folding laundry. She knew how to fold a shirt into a circle.
SPEAKER_01And I've never-she impressive.
SPEAKER_00I know to see why you miss her. Dude, that's honestly the main reason I miss her is the laundry. And is should you see her ever? Nope. Haven't seen her in a fucking life. That's good, dude. I I'll get a text or an email like saying I hate you every now and then. But that's crazy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. So that so fast forward to like two years around a freaking Hulu. Is it Hulu? Hulu. Hulu show Hulu.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I mean, it's a cool that you had. I mean, uh, TV, like shows like that, you're just like, I mean, we've done like the white background ones. Those are like a micro version of like actual studio.
SPEAKER_00Those are fun. Have you done any of those recently?
SPEAKER_01I did one uh three days ago. Nice for who? Uh Zach Justice. Oh, nice, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I just did David Alvarez again. Really? Yeah. I think he's probably at well, okay. It depends on the girls, honestly. I don't give a frick who who's doing it. Because I've yeah, I've done we've I mean I done Jubilee. I think we we did the kickback one, I did the Poppies one. The Poppies one I did with David Alvarez, uh, or Alvarez, whatever his name is. Uh the girls were just too young, bro. They were like the Bop House, those chicks.
SPEAKER_00You're so lucky.
SPEAKER_01Was Julia was oh, Julia Philippo.
SPEAKER_00She's also on my list. She's hot. She looks like she's 12. I'm sorry. I I I I I I refuse. So what? She's not, and that's even hotter. Dude, she's hot. I love that she looks like man, she has the body of a surfboard and the fucking face of a two-year-old, but I'll tell you something. There's something, there's something oddly sexual about her.
SPEAKER_01She looks like boss baby with gold hair.
SPEAKER_00A little bit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she does have boss baby elements. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like talking to uh uh it was it was tough. And then also, too, there was another Brad on the show that I did, and he was just really obnoxious. And so that didn't help me. What Brad was this? This guy named Brad Kraut or something. Oh, yeah, he's uh I know who he is. He's like this midget guy, yeah. Bag bad and he's like a streamer, so he's always on his phone. It's like bro, like be present. Right. Anyway, um, but yeah, no, I did it one with Zach Justice. I actually matched with um are you familiar with the Bobby Lee's podcast?
SPEAKER_00Uh Bad Friends? Yeah, I've never really listened to it, no. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Well, there's there's this chick. Well, this so Bobby Lee's girl girlfriend or ex-girlfriend has a niece and she's on the show and she knows she was on Zach Justice and we matched it. Oh no. She ghosted me. Anyway, um, so yeah, that was fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's the thing about white background shows, like you never end up seeing the women ever again.
SPEAKER_01Oh, never. In fact, you actually, it's a better play to not try to make a move because you'll probably see them again.
SPEAKER_00That is true. That is true.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, usually the women hate me on these, but I kind of try to be you do you do come off as like not even a bad boy, just like a like a preck.
SPEAKER_01Like a pre a preck, like a 1990s, yeah, yeah, I mean, I I just I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Because I think it's important to leave an impression. Like, most people, I would say like it's you're either loved or hated. You never want to just be in the middle, like unremarkable. You want to be either loved or hated. And if I get a shit ton of hate, I don't care. Because you know what? I made an impression.
SPEAKER_01That and see, and that's how people remember you. What what's tough about like the media is you can think something kills like a show or something, and then you just afterwards it comes out, you read the comments, and they're just like, I hate Brad or I hate Justin. They suck.
SPEAKER_00And you're like, Do you how do you respond to hate? I don't like it.
SPEAKER_01I don't respond. I refuse. No, I don't.
SPEAKER_00I don't respond. I usually delete it. I'll delete negative comments.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Well, if it's on my stuff, yeah, yeah, I'll delete it.
SPEAKER_00I hate seeing fucking that shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like I did do I did a kickback video where I went through girls' apartments or whatever.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And there was a good amount of people that liked me, but there was also a lot of people that hated me, and I was like, I fucking hate that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But you know, not much you can do.
SPEAKER_01It is, but I mean, but again, it's st it's still attention. I mean, it got it was an impression. Yeah, yeah. And then, but yeah. So then how do you you just do you encourage it? Because I know some creators who aren't gay, but they have a gay following, and they kind of encourage it.
SPEAKER_00Dude, my shit's all accidental, man. It's like if you look at my shit, it's like eh, he's not really trying to do anything fucking. It just happens. Yeah. I guess it's just like you're in good shape. So, like, dude, the only how many, how many guys compliment your physique like when you're at the gym? Do girls ever come up and be like, oh my god, no, it's usually a guy, like, dude, fucking your shoulders or your killer and like killing it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's only guys that it's insane. I dude, I one, I never do you hit on girls at the gym. I don't. I mean, I don't I don't ever hit on woman anywhere, bro.
SPEAKER_00I just you gotta pick the girl that picks you. I just I'm waiting for some girl to pick me. Hasn't happened yet, but that's what I'm waiting for. Yeah, that's what I learned with my life, dude. The fucking girl who didn't pick me, the one that I still love, yeah, didn't pick me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like But here's the thing until you're dead, the race ain't over, son. So you'd freaking never know, dog. That's true. That's what I keep telling myself, because I'm still probably in love with her, but whatever. Which is insane, but you know, not with yours, with mine.
SPEAKER_00You could have mine, dude. Yeah, back back in uh back where she lives in the little town we live in, dude. Yeah, people call her the mattress. That's her nickname.
SPEAKER_01That would be crazy if it's okay. I'm gonna ask her after the cameras are off who who she is. But anyway, um, dude, what's next, bro? What's the future?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. That's the problem. I've been having an existential this whole week. I was super depressed because I'm like, what is the next step? What do I do now? Yeah. I don't know. I keep doing the white background shit. Yeah. Uh I keep doing comedy, but it's like, what should I be aiming for? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's the thing too, is like, dude, like, I I also had like an existential crisis, whatever the word I just have one singing, and uh, but it's tough because when you choose like entertainment or like comedy or something like that, yeah, you you never get to really enjoy the present, the now.
SPEAKER_00No, because you're always chasing the next thing.
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, I'm sure that never stops. Sure. And it's never gonna stop. But like just thinking back and being like, dude, look at how far I mean, think of like 10-year-old Brad, dude.
SPEAKER_00I was thinking, you know, someone said this to me the other day, you know, Leo D'Atavio. He's like, think about your younger self, and like, if you'd be proud of where you're at right now, you know, he's like, he's like, you got a lot of followers, you're doing comedy, you're you were technically you were on TV. Like, would you be if your 10-year-old self saw this? My 10-year-old self would be like, Oh my god, do I have a lot of girls that follow me? Yeah, nope, it's all guys. Uh, what TV show was I on? Was it a fucking Spider-Man show? No, it was a fucking reality show or that you got cut out of. Fucking, oh, you do comedy? Like, are you good at it? Nope. And so fucking it'd be all bad for 10-year-old Brad, man. So I think about that a lot.
SPEAKER_01But here's the thing though, the cool thing about that is if you like deleted the butt out of it, yes, but just forget the buttons be like, yes, you know, like, dude, my my thing was when I was a kid, I all I wanted was facial hair. That's a random dream. Me too. But when I was a kid, I wanted to have like I would write on like my my my sister's books, and she hated it because I would just drop mustaches on like lore angles and crap, you know what I'm saying? And then I'm like, oh, I have a beer. Like, I and I had to remember things and be like, okay, there are certain there are certain things that Justin would be proud of, right? But then also there are certain things like you know, and but you're like your goalpost moves as soon as you get the thing that you wanted, right? So it's like having like I think a good peace of mind is one, having good people around you that'll remind you that like you're you're where you're at, and freaking find that fight that nice space between being okay with who you are, but then also not being okay with where you're at. Right. To the point where you just you're just alright, we're just chilling.
SPEAKER_00I need to figure out how to not hate myself.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's my first step. Yeah. And then maybe, yeah, just be more confident. That's my issue.
SPEAKER_01But don't do drugs, because I know people do.
SPEAKER_00I've been swung with weed lately. I'll be honest about that.
SPEAKER_01Bro, all right, dude. Genuinely, I tell all my people, I don't ever I want to I don't ever want to say don't do whatever, do whatever you want to do, but I want to do I freaking I I I I I I because I I know that's like a slippery slope, bro. Oh, antidepressants and crazy. Well, I'm just saying everything that like blocks the emotions without you having to deal with and like freaking fight that crap. Right, it's just I don't know, it's just and that's a hot take, because I know like especially in our industry, everyone does everything. Right. It's like but I'm just like I'd rather just be clear-headed, so then that way I can enjoy the highs when I uh you know do it because I know what the lows felt like. I wasn't like jaded, you know what I'm saying? Right. So then that way when you do get that roster, you know what I'm saying? You could be like, I feel this shit, dude. Right.
SPEAKER_00Me and Sabrina Carpenter and Madison Beer.
SPEAKER_01Me and Sabrina Carpenter.
SPEAKER_00You and Sabrina Carpenter. Me, I'll take Madison Beer. You can take Sweet Sweeney Sweet. We could switch off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we could switch off.
SPEAKER_01We talked about younger Brad. What is some advice, dude, that you would give to anybody that's looking going, hey, I want to be, I want to be like Brad, I want to do comedy, I want to be on a reality TV.
SPEAKER_00If someone said that they wanted to be like me, I would tell them to take their own life. Because that's not something you should be aiming towards. You should not want to be, I would be, I'd tell you to kill yourself. Uh look, here's the thing. If you want to be like me, fucking do not. I am not I'm a fucking failure, I'm a fraud, okay? I did a reality show, they cut me out of the whole thing. Why? Because I fucking suck.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, you want to be in good shape? Fucking all you all you need, and I've been saying this for years, you need to hate yourself enough to lock in. Yeah. So if you want to be like me, start looking in the mirror and being disappointed and sliding your wrist and cutting yourself, and then go to the gym. And that's how you do it. Okay. Alright.
SPEAKER_01And then this is the last thing. Uh, take your shirt off. Do I have to? Take your shirt off. See, he's saying it. I'll do it with you. Alright. I'll take your shirt off. I just ate, I feel bloated. I'll take it, take it to your shirt. Make sure everything's in frame. Make sure everything's in frame. Bro, this is gonna be sad, dude, because you're gonna be like way bigger than I'm. I'm fucking, I just ate, bro. I feel fucking out of it. I feel out of shape. Oh, you just you're just knocking it down. Yeah, boy. Alright, guys, thank you so much for freaking watching, and we'll see you guys next time.