Ep 1 - kinda: and THAT’s traveling, snakes on a plane, concerts, and astrology ✈️🐍🎤🔮

Welcome to the actual first episode of and THAT’s a pod convo — because after recording Episode 1, our audio files experienced sudden and tragic technical difficulties. So yes… this is officially Episode 1.5. And honestly? The re-record gave us the chance to unpack our chaotic Seattle weekend, so maybe everything happens for a reason. 🌧️🍸

This week’s spirals include:

✈️ and THAT’s traveling with your best friends
Who’s Type A? Who’s Type B? And who in the friend group absolutely cannot be trusted with directions, timing, or an airport itinerary?

🐍 and THAT’s snakes on a plane
No… not the movie. Unfortunately much worse.

🎤 and THAT’s concerts
Concert etiquette, emotional support pop music, post-show delusion, and Demi Lovato discourse.

🍸 and THAT’s Seattle bars
Questionable decisions, chaotic nightlife energy, and realizing one drink can truly change the trajectory of an evening.

🔮 and THAT’s astrology
Compatibility, red flags, and whether your zodiac sign determines if you’re a top, bottom, or emotional liability.

📱 and THAT’s 1 thing Straight & 2 things Gay
The advice segment where we answer questions that absolutely should’ve stayed in the group chat.

So grab a drink, settle in, and prepare to spiral with us for the next hour and twenty minutes.

… and THAT’s a pod convo. 🎙️

Robert Thompson's TedTalk: 

Dragging Your Identity into Something Fabulous

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yeah, well I mean anything looks impressive example something to do with Facebook outline.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

What's up and welcome to the group chat.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Uh Josh, how how are you feeling about episode one? Or 1.5.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

1.5. Definitely better. Uh a little bit more loose. Because yeah, the first episode was it was a little rough.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

What an interesting term. What? Loose.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

I mean, yeah, I felt very stiff because it was like, you know, you when you get like really tense when you're nervous and you're just like, oh, you were calling me loose. I see now.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Oh my god. And that's a pod combo. Later date. Um, but no, I completely get it. It was um, it was like nerve-wracking, didn't know what to do. I think we're still a little, a little nervous here and there right now. But on top of it, I would say it was also like 12 at night. We had some technical difficulties. So yeah, uh, we said we can do better. We also had a really interesting week this last week as well, leading up to this official first episode, which I think just gave us better better things to talk about on this group chat essentially.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Agreed, absolutely agreed.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

So leading up to the pod, how have we been the last month, few weeks? How did this even begin?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Oh gosh, I mean, thinking about it, like we originally just had all of these different kinds of conversations, like we would just talk about different events that are going on in Spokane, um, things that go on in um our our community, and just everything that um anything and everything really, and then there would just be these times that it's like sometimes you would we would sit there and just be like, you know, this would make an insanely great podcast.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, I think our conversations are just chaotic enough, and I am funny enough that I think we could have done something. Um, not to say that you're not funny, that you're just really good at setting up a joke for me to hit out of the park.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

You know, sometimes jokes are just really better so much better in a team.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

And they're typically at your expense, but that's okay. Yeah. Well, I don't open a door, I'll walk right through it. Every time. Every time. Every single time. There's times where I I really try to hold back and not walk through the door, and then you made that one single door actually like a large sliding door. I'm like, okay, now he wants me to walk through this door. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

You know, because that's the thing, a joke. If it if nothing's gonna cut through the tension faster, it's gonna be a it's gonna be a joke.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

And boy, is there always a lot of tension. Anywho, we were out one night, we had had the idea of starting a podcast to begin with. Um, I think originally, what was it we wanted to name it? Was like let's get into it. Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Something something along those lines, like I think, but we ended up finding out that there's already a podcast called Let's Get Into It. Because I think that was the phrase that we were using then was every time somebody would say something that was like interesting, or like somebody would make a look or something would happen, and we would like lock eyes from across the room, like, okay, let's get into it, let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Let's get into it. But apparently that was already used, and I mean it wasn't super original. Like when I think back about it. And so I think we were out to eat, we were like talking about it, and we're just like, we're like, man, like it the whole premise of this is the fact that these are the conversations that you have, they get chaotic, they get deep, they get real, they get funny, we make fun of each other, we make fun of ourselves, whatever have you. And then, like, we're like, oh, that could have been a podcast if we would have recorded. And it I remember it hit me like brilliance typically does in the face, and I just was like, Oh my god. And that's a pod combo, because it's those moments when someone does say something so out of pocket, and you do look at the other person, and you're like, that like we and I like I become so annoying and probably very insufferable about it. Like over this past weekend, things that were going on while we were traveling, I was like, and that's a pod combo. Like, I would tell our friends, I'm writing this down. We have a running like notes list. I have to write this down because we're gonna talk about this.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Yes, I think my my favorite thing so far was the um the 3Ds, I think it was. We'll talk about that later. Okay, fair, fair.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

And don't let our don't and if you're listening and we don't talk about it, write in. Let us know and say, hey, what were those three D's? And we we'll tell you. But yeah, so um I definitely know that like our friends have even started saying, well, and that's a pod combo. Um, I'm convinced it's gonna be the next like phrase to say, I and eventually we'll put it on a shirt. Like it's just it's gonna be great. I think this is a great start. I think we have gold here. Maybe I'm speaking too soon, maybe everyone will hate it. And if you do, then that's okay. You're just not you don't want to be a part of the group chat, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

And you know what? That's the thing though, isn't it? Is that we're here to record the funny things and the the enjoyable things that we say along the way. And so if it does blow up, cool. But this that's kind of the point of what this is in the first place.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Honestly, we're just here to like listen to each other talk and just record it. That's literally what we're doing here. Um, but yeah, so how was this last week for you?

SPEAKER_00 6:29

You know, traveling, especially with like your friends, and especially like just it being like the very first time you travel with somebody, you forget that it's going to be a brand new experience because you're just like, oh, well, we hang out, like you see we see each other, we go to the movies together, we go, but there is something that's always like distracting you in those moments in one way or another. Whether you're at the bar, you have somebody to look at, you have something to do and talk about. When you're sitting in a car for four hours and there's just nothing, like, yeah, we we chat back and forth, but you're it's different, it's a different air, there's a different vibe to the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Well, if there's nothing, are you guys all boring? Uh like if you think about it, like all four of us were in that car. We could have all added something, and I will say, one of our friends, um, Love Him to Death, was attempting to like, should we play a game? And his boyfriend was like, No. And like, I was like willing to play the game, but I'm also just like, I don't, you know me. I'm always like, I don't really care. Like, whatever you want to do, that's fine. I can entertain myself. I've done it, I've I've entertained myself for 31 years. Here we are. Like, I don't need that, but yes, traveling in a car, also it's just very easy for a mood to shift. Like, if someone's not in it, someone's not in it, and we're just like, okay. Also, on the drive there, first off, it does not take 15 minutes to get from one side of Spokane to the other on a highway. And we were we were like stuck and you know, it sucked for the the truck that rolled over, the like 18-wheeler that rolled over. All right, yes, absolutely. But we were like in the same spot for I would say about 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah, and so I think like we were excited to go on this trip, like, okay, let's get this started, and then that was like a weird it was a weird way to start, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

No, it was it was like it was something. No, and I think it it did. I think the fact that it was just like raining and we were like really wanting to get there, and traffic came to uh pardon the punt, a dead stop because of that truck turned over on the freeway. I say that, and I'm I'm gonna take this on a tangent for just a second. Is just like our friend, our poor friend, was sitting there, and like this happened to us the other day. We were stuck in traffic, and he just like burst out and he was like, Man, somebody better have died. And yet somebody actually did in that situation, that is why the traffic was stopped.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

And that's I don't that's manifesting.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Well, no, you now he bel he believes he's a psychic, and I'm I'm honestly a little bit right there with him.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Everyone's a psychic when they guess right, I suppose. But also, I would say that traveling if you didn't know before, definitely after you find out if you're a type B or a type A person when you're traveling. Me, I'm a type B. I'm actually, I would say, like I'm a mixture. I definitely go off of the people around me. But if I'm traveling alone, type B, I don't have I have things I want to do, I don't have an itinerary. Yeah, like I will tackle them throughout the day, whereas other people tend to fall into very josh-coded. He has planned almost every second of every day and packed everything literally leading up to it. He's like ready to go, not late on time.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

I okay, because that's the thing, is I do like things to be loose, like once there's that word again. Uh, when we are out there, right? Like when once we got there and we got the big event out of the way, I was good. Like it was chill, like there were things that we wanted to do, but I was just like, we'll get there when we get there. Um and there was I didn't really know Seattle. I like I've been there a few times, I didn't really know Seattle like that. Um, because every time I have gone, I was there for maybe an hour or two and I was gone. This was like us being there in Seattle the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

This is how you know Josh was a type A person because our friend makes a joke and says, What if I told y'all like when we got there, I actually didn't get Demi Lovato tickets and I just really wanted to hang out with you guys. And both his boyfriend and myself were like, Oh, okay, like cool. Uh Josh was like, I would strangle you. Like, I planned for this. I like this was a plan. I I cultivated and curated a whole outfit. Like, this is what we're doing. And so, yeah, Josh was definitely not having that. Um, and like all of us were like, it's a joke. And Josh, for a split second, he had to show you the ticket. He brought up the ticket, he brought up the tickets, and he goes, uh just in case, here we go, here are our tickets, whatever happened. I don't know. But then the trip officially started. We opened up our snacks again, and as we are are like trying to make up for some lost time. How do we feel about bathroom breaks on a road trip?

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Um, necessary, needed, but definitely I try to make them as sparse as humanly possible.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Joshua, you have the bladder of like a small kitten. Okay, that's not fair.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

I only asked for one stop that entire trip.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

You asked for one stop 15 minutes after we started revving and going. Like we had just you know what? We were in such a standstill, you could have gotten off the car, gone to the corner, peed, and then came back to the car. That is how much of a standstill we were at. Yeah, like also, you could have gone to the bathroom before we left.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

I did. That's the thing is we were in traffic for so long that I probably made it, I would have made it to Ellensburg just fine had we had we not been in traffic that long.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Also, the body language of our friend that was driving, literally, when you're like, um, can we like stop to go to the bathroom? I don't know if you noticed, but tensed the fuck up and was. Oh, of course. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, we can go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

And I knew that was gonna happen, and that's why I was trying so hard. And that's why I'm saying it was necessary. I would not have said anything if it wasn't necessary.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

And next time we're gonna actually just pack some empty water bottles so you can just piss into the water bottle. Okay because my goodness, and then fine. So then we're on our way, great, amazing. We get to the demi concert, and we'll talk about concerts a little bit later, but I want to stay on traveling. Like, I'm sorry, but if I can't last a four-hour trip with you guys, or you guys are boring, or like whatever have you, all this stuff, I don't even want to begin to think how we would be on a plane, like in a tin can that we cannot control. Like we are there, and just speaking of like planes, like just traveling on a plane alone can be so annoying. I did it a few weeks ago for work. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

I actually think it might have been easier if we had traveled by plane. Um, I would have not sat next to any of y'all for some.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

How how would it have been easier?

SPEAKER_00 15:01

I don't know. Well, so I I our our friend even said, like, that's me time. Like when you're on a plane, you plug in some headphones, you watch a movie. We wouldn't even we would have entertained ourselves. And that's the thing is in a car ride, you have to like we're trying to entertain each other. If somebody's mood shifts or slips, then the entire car feels it and everybody's like on edge. Towers at in an airport, we want to all probably just sat quietly in the in the lobby, gotten on the plane, and watched a movie or what have you, because the plane ride would have been an hour long and we would have been there, we would have been in our hotels. We probably it probably would have been a better experience overall.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Why can't we entertain ourselves in a car?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

I mean, we tried. We played 20 questions.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

No, and that was like the highlight of that first trip was the 20 questions, um, which our friend actually came up with a really good one that no one guessed, but then I went up Tim with another one that no one guessed, and I will not say the word because I will forever keep that as my 20 questions.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

I'm so tempted to just say it.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

If you say it, you're done. I will find a new host, but I will audition and I'll turn this into an inviting guest on, and the viewers or listeners will choose who they loved the banter the most with. So this is in job security, keep in mind. Everyone, everyone can be replaced. Except for me.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

But that's also because I'm paying for all of all of this to happen.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

So I mean, I would have said though, like we would have been able to also find out what kind of travelers are friends and we are on a plane as well, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:45

So well, if they were not common courtesy people, I would be livid because when I traveled a few weeks ago, okay. First and foremost, I don't like I'm traveling for work, work paid, great, all this stuff. I end up getting on like group three or four or something like that. Anywho, they call us up, we're boarding, we're getting onto the plane. I don't know how one of the people from group one or two made their way to the back of the plane. I don't know if they got lost, I don't know if they don't know how to read the numbers. I I couldn't tell you. But as we're boarding, and mind you, we're like trying to board quickly. We already get fucking anxiety when we have to put our our overhead bag up and it's not fitting, and it's like, oh my god, there's a line behind me of people that want to go get to their seat. People who some of them are like, I don't have an overhead bag, I just have my bag that I'm gonna put under the seat, and you're holding us up. So I don't know how we're going, and this person is fighting their way to get to their seat in the front. Again, I I don't know how you got back there. I don't know whatever have you. Again, you must have gotten lost. Um and then some I was like telling my friend this, and they're like, Well, maybe they needed to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, once again, okay, very that person was very josh-coded. Uh I was like, What are you? 12? You literally know when you're boarding, you know your boarding group. If you need it, go to the bathroom, then go to the bathroom a little bit before and sit down. Also, I think what pissed me off was that this person was upset we were not letting him get to his seat. Like, was very audibly and visibly upset.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

And I will see that's say that's that part is not Josh Coded, because I probably would have just stayed in the back of the plane. I would have waited until everybody got to their seats and just stood there.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

I would have stayed in the bathroom, I would have been hiding. Like I would have said, Oh my god, first off, no one needs to know I needed to take a piss or a shit this early on into a flight. Like, no one needed to know that. Um, or I would have stayed back there with the snacks, I would have started passing them out myself. Like, I I no, I could not do that. So, like, common courtesy, use the bathroom before you get on the plane. Don't go to the back and then be upset when you're walking to the front. Don't do it. Next portion of common courtesy on a flight once you sit your ass down, there is in no rhyme or reason or way that you should be getting your ass up to get something out of your bag. You put your overhead bag in, you sit your ass down, and if you need something, you wait till everyone has boarded and then give it a shot.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Okay, you're calling this common courtesy, but I actually think that this is a type A thing. And I think that's the difference between type A and type B travelers.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

So this person is a type B or a type A person?

SPEAKER_00 20:22

This person is a type B because they obviously didn't think things through, and they're like, okay, now I need this.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

You just upset, you just upset a whole slew of listeners right now by saying we don't think things through. Let me just say something. I am a type B person, but I have common courtesy to know when I have messed up. Again, this person that boarded after me was like in group five, six, or seven, whatever have you. You have at least 15 to 20 minutes to get everything out of your bag. Then you sit down and you're like, oh shoot, I forgot something out of my bag. Sure. But the common courtesy part comes in of you're not going to stand up when there is still a line of people trying to get to their seats. And not you don't grab your bag and sit back down. No, you stood up and you rummaged for about five minutes trying to find this. That's not type B or type A. That's you don't have any awareness at all for people around you or common courtesy. Don't come for us, Josh.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Okay, I'm just saying that there is a level of obliviousness to type B travelers.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Not for me. Oh, I'm very aware. I am very aware of my decisions, but that's also maybe because I've an Aries and we'll get into that later. Can you guess like the gender of this person?

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Me? Yeah. If I had to guess, if I had to guess, I'd say it's a man.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

It's a man. It's a man. It's a man. Men. It's a man. And here I'm I'm here to take down the patriarchy from the inside out. We don't we don't deserve some rants.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

There's just a confidence that men walk walk through the world with that they just they are. They are absolutely can be absolutely oblivious to everything that's going on around them. Absolutely. I was sitting in the lobby and somebody, a a man, sitting in the lobby of the hotel.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Don't say somebody and group all genders together.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

This was a man. He was sitting in the lobby of the hotel we were staying at, and he just started blasting his phone, like full volume, listen watching his videos, and just sat there, laughed, not a care in the world, that like 20 people are crammed into this lobby, looking over their shoulders, glaring at this person.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

That's awful. Like, first off, if your video, if your video is not interesting, no one wants to hear it.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Like if at least it can garner a laugh from somebody else, great. Also, I mean, the laughing in public, don't get me wrong, if I'm listening to my podcast, which I'll drop later who who some of my top podcast people are. Um, but if I'm listening to my podcast and they say something funny as fuck, I cackle. Like I laugh out loud, and I hate that I do it, but I just I try to like keep it in. Going off of what you said about like men go around with this confidence or whatever have you, in my notes, I wrote snakes on a plane. Oh can you just just me saying men have this confidence and the phrase snakes on a plane? What do you think? Like, why do you think I had to write this down?

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Initially it was is definitely my thought is like something to do with gray sweatpants and an outline.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Wow. Well, I can tell you on this plane they were not enough gray sweatpants. Um at least not for my liking, but that's okay. You know, they'll get they'll get them next time. Um what if that if I say that's not the what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 24:23

I mean only other thing I can think of is a dick pic.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Absolutely. Oh my gosh. Okay, so so we're I'm so I'm sitting there on the aisle seat. Again, work paid for this ticket, not myself. I'm a window girly, but that's okay. Um I'm sitting in the aisle seat, and you know, like when you get something on your phone that you're not supposed to get, and then you're in a public forum, essentially. Um, you actually administered this type of action this past weekend at Pike's place. It is not my fault. You what do you mean? You were on whatever app you were on that was dedicated that's dedicated to any who not necessarily.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

I mean, I think this one was just a text message, and I was just innocently standing there checking my phone and I opened it. Oh, it was a text message, it wasn't an app. Yes. Remember, you even commented you were like a text message, not an app.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Well, that's because also, like, if you're sending nudies over a text message, one, I will say, fine, you're an adult, you're you're an adult, you're you stand with your convictions because that shit is forever. Um, it's not like a Snapchat, which is still forever. Some you know there's somebody that works at Snapchat that looks through all anywho. That that gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking and I'm and now you will second guess anytime you send nudies through Snapchat.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

I don't send them, so we're good there.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

Anyway, no, you just receive them. Anywho, so I'm sitting minding my own business, not for long, but minding my own business, and uh I actually do mind my own business. It is other people that bring their business to me. And one thing that I am not is quiet. I am very opinionated, and and that's pod combo for a later episode. But so again, sitting there, cool. Um, this so one row in front of me, diagonal, so woman in the in her aisle seat, probably word paid for that as well. Um, all of a sudden does that like move when you like open your message and you like you like tense up and you try to hide like whatever it is, but I guess because I did the same move in Seattle. Yeah, but I clocked, I clocked it too quickly. I was like, there's no reason someone does that unless there's something on there they're trying to hide. And so I very slyly, because I'm a sleuther, I'm a detective, I can figure out I can figure out who you're talking to just by you telling me the first letter of their first name and what you even think their star sign is, and I find them on Facebook. Anywho, so I'm looking and I see it, and I'm like, oh wow, okay. Um, that's definitely a nudie on this this uh airplane. Great. Um, but it got me thinking about a few things, and let me let's take let me let's go on this journey. So first and foremost, uh I am not saying that women don't sext, but by all means, they do. They're they're allowed, they are they are allowed to, they should love it, they should do it on their terms. If anything, more power to you. Um so in that instance, you pop off, queen. Like get you get yours. But then this is where it took a turn for the worst, because then I realized wow, men really and truly do not care about anything other than themselves.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Oh, tell me more. I I want to know where this is going.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Okay, okay, but first off, if this is someone that you are close to, you would know that at 9 30, 9 45 a.m. they're they're on a plane. And so maybe your incessant need to get off is not more important than one her embarrassment and the people around her. Because what what if there was a child sitting next to her around her and saw that?

SPEAKER_00 28:59

That's so true. There's like no consideration, and this, yeah, this does kind of loop right back to what happened in the lobby. This loops back to the man with uh putting the suitcase or getting his things out of a suitcase. Yeah, no awareness.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Men do not have any awareness. Um, also when you are in a heightened, I guess, sexual state, you're obviously not thinking with the correct head. So um, so that there's that portion of it, but then also when you said like men walk around with like this confidence that like whatever have you, straight men specifically, um don't get me wrong, I saw the picture, was like okay, good for him too. Wow, amazing. But then I also started thinking straight men specifically have a very uh accurate and innate way of making the unimpressive seem super impressive.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

I think it's all about the angles.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Yeah, also if you're just sending shaft and no context in terms of ball, and sorry, mom, you might want to not listen to this part, but if you're just sending shaft, I can tell. What what do you mean? I need I need a reference point shaft to angle up, like from the top down, less impressive. Shaft bottom up, you get a little face profile in there, which you should never be sending. First off, you should never be sending nudies, and second off, if you are, you should never be putting your face in there unless you are in OnlyFans Creator, and you know what? Other than that, pop off. Sex work is real work, good for good for you.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Anyway, um, but I mean if you're gonna be brave enough to send a dick pic, then you need to be brave enough to you know take a pick next to a can of Aqua Net.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Like Yeah, well, I mean, anything looks impressive next to a Paz dispenser. So that was the like those were the three like takeaways that I was like, wow, men really just don't give a shit truly about anything else. Anywho, so back to the traveling. So we we finally we get there, we're getting ready. How was Demi Labato?

SPEAKER_00 31:21

It was so good. Um, I will say that it was just kind of like it is nerve-wracking going to a brand new venue that you've never been to before, and you have no idea where you're supposed to walk. There was like one point where both both, you know, our friend and I were like, no, you go this way, and both of us were pointing in the absolute opposite directions. Um, of course they ended up being right because you know because they had been there. Uh yeah, yeah, that's that's on me. I get that. Uh but I had seen people walking down to at a certain point, so I thought that would be that's what happens when you have two type A friends in a friend group. True, that's very true. Anywho, uh, I mean it was nerve-wracking and it was fun, and and the opening act was like cool. Like she was interesting, she was definitely interesting, but I I feel like there was there's something to be said for when Demi Lovato's like intro started playing and she actually came out on stage. That the energy of the entire stadium changed.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

Yeah, okay. Well, who was her opening act? Adela. Adela. Let's let's give her some credit for like if we're gonna talk about her, we need to give her some credit. Oh, yeah, no, she was impressive. And I will I will be the first to say that I prior to this concert did not know who she was, um, but give her her flowers because like she did really well, she did her best, like trying to like hype up the crowd. But I do think that that is essentially like you as an artist are going to pick an opener that is really uh encompassing the vibe of what your show is. Yes, I it would be like very weird or like in or maybe not weird, I mean, because you know, I do I do appreciate when big artists that have toured before or whatever have you, like are essentially trying to pave the way for a new artist, yeah. Um, or more recent artists, or people who are just starting to get traction. Cause there's like the truth about the music industry is that some of these people have been trying this for like four to five years. Yeah. And it just it yeah, longer. Chapel Roan was like what 10 years in the making before finally actually having like their first like hit song. Um, and then in one summer goes from doing Seattle like Pride events or like festivals, and then co uh what is it like was it Coachella or ACL or something like that? And it just blew up and had one of the biggest crowds. But like there is something to be said about like um major artists bringing these people on. Like, I know when I went to go see Taylor Swift, Grace uh Gracie Abrams was like one of her opening acts, and like since then she has blown up even more. Um, it's just a great way to get exposure, but it would be very interesting if it was like like this this most recent demi album was definitely like electro pop, like you club dance music, yeah. Dance, I'm listening to this in the club. It'd be very interesting if like that's who it was, and then brought on a folk singer. I don't know, like Noah called it. Playing a little guitar, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and not that that they're not good, but it's just not the vibe of the concert, right? And so I think Adela did a fantastic job. I was like very impressed when she was like balleting and singing. That was I don't know if that's the right way to say that, but balleting, but she was like like she was on her her pink little ballet slipper, pointed toes, and dancing, and not only that, she like brought like a new like like she was she was balling, like she she was dropping it low, and I didn't know you could do that like that. Yeah, no, so really great. Um, but yes, then but to your point, once demi did like once even just the first beat of like what we knew was a demi song was like coming on.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Well, like okay, and there's something to be said, yeah. There's something to be said too for the fact that a lot of people there probably had never heard of Adela before. So I think maybe people were just like sitting and like being like, Okay, is this music I'm gonna like? And so there might have been a little bit more being fully sat to pay attention. Teras with Demi, we're all there for Demi, so we know her music. So when that beat did drop, we were like, ah, familiar.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

Okay, but also I will say there was there was a group of what, like four or five gays diagonal from us.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

Oh my god, they just embarrassed thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

They like who the fuck Adela was. Oh, yeah, and they I think were reenacting her like very sexual moves on stage with each other. Later, we found out that one of our other friends who joined us who sat next to them essentially, they were like, and it's okay, it's funny because you can clock it from a mile away. Like, we were like, they're either all dating, they've all slept with each other, or someone's in a thruple.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Like, we know but you called it, you were like, Those three are in a thruple, and those two are a couple.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

I just know it, and I just know it, and there it was, and it's just and that's and that's on Aries' intuition. But yes, but that's also like, and that's understanding the gay community to at a demi lavato concert, anyways. Um, but yes, amazing. I like Demi Lovato, I would I will say is has to be one of the best live vocalists ever. Oh yeah. I've seen her three times. The funniest thing is that she has made a mistake every time I have seen her, like every time, but it's it's it's like endearing in a way because it's like, oh my god, you're literally a normal person.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Yeah, like I mean, I would have done the same thing, like I mess up, oh fuck, like immediately into the microphone.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Yeah, but she's not the one that made a mistake, the track or the instruments or whatever actually skipped a part in the song, so that's why she like she got off, and it was like the the they skipped like probably like two beats or something like off, and then she was like, Oh fuck. And then I love how she's like, Well, at least you know the mic is on. Like, what a great way! The last time I saw her, she like dropped her microphone while she was dancing and then like just started giggling about it, amazing, and like she has heard me yell at her before because of the why am I not surprised? Because the first the first time that I went to go see her, I it was like on a whim. I asked my mom, do you want to go? I just bought tickets, whatever have you. And from the seating chart, there were three rows before we were like by the stage. So I was like, Okay, wait, I'm right in the front. Well, when we get there, those three rows don't exist. So they allowed for people to kind of come up to the stage, and so we were there, and I'll never forget. I go, My dreams are coming true right now. And she like is it's like in between like her sets or whatever. And so she likes sitting down on the stool and she starts laughing and she's like, Oh my god, somebody in the front row just said that their dreams are coming true right now. And I was like, That was me, that was me, and I was like crying, and she's like, I just want to say so are mine, and I was just like, Oh my god. So she's just fantastic. Also, bring back jumping at concerts.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

I mean, yes, I a hundred percent agree because I definitely like there were so many times I was just like, I felt the need to jump, and I did, I did jump. Um, and then I would look around and I would see nobody else was jumping, and it just made me so sad. It didn't stop me, but it made me sad.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Yeah, also I think we need less phones at concerts. I in like a world where it's like great to like like I made it a point that I was like, you know what? I'm gonna take maybe like one or two videos or whatever have you. But I want to be in this moment. Like I want to be here, whatever have you. It's just it's great when like you're sing when they're singing a sad song and like we have moved away from having lighters inside of a concert. So you turn on your iPhone light or whatever have you. Great, fine, very like emotional moment, but like every other time, like take a couple pictures and then like put your phone away and be in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Yeah, no, I I think I I felt that about halfway through. Um, I think I only pulled out my phone again, uh, because yeah, there was like certain songs that I was like, no, I need something from this song because it's one of my favorites on the album, or it's one of my favorites of all time. I need this, and so I would grab it, I would record maybe like 20 seconds, but there were people who were like professionally like holding their phones, getting out in the aisle, like just recording the whole thing. And it was just it was very distracting.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Um and I I say that knowing that one of our friends just two seats down lived recording. But it's because the other thing that I like noticed is in the past when I've gone to these concerts, I take all these photos, but I don't go and look back at these photos.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

Really?

SPEAKER_02 41:01

I don't. They're just they sit on my phone, and like when I'm going back to go find something else, I'm like, oh I did go to that concert. And then I keep scrolling. Like, I don't go, like, but I I think um I love pictures. I do want to go, I want to get back into like developing photos so that way I can comfortably delete them from my phone because like I do keep them because it's like essentially an online or like it's in your phone um photo album. That's essentially what it is. But it's a I think there is a a great thing about developing a photo, keeping it somewhere, you pass it on. Something happens to your phone or your like iCloud or your whatever, and you lose all those photos, they're gone. So, but I don't know. I just think bring back like bring back jumping at concerts, be less on your phone, be more in the moment. Like, like just do that.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

Um I mean, let's my thought is like let's start, let's start talking about after the concert.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Yeah, what happened after the concert for you?

SPEAKER_00 42:12

I mean, you get you get all this energy, and you get like I feel like that's that's part of it, and that's one of the best things about going to a concert. This was my first stadium concert ever, and I'm so happy that Demi was my first stadium concert.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

She popped her cherry.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

Yes, she absolutely did.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

Cool for the summer.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

Yes. Oh, when that song came on, you lost your mind.

SPEAKER_02 42:34

That was I was well, no, I lost first off, I lost my mind when she was saying La La Land because I never thought that I would hear that live. So lost my mind there. Um yeah, I it was amazing. I I never thought that I would hear that live, and I've heard, like I said, I've seen her three times and I've heard a number of other songs live, and she crushes it every time. But there's something about that don't forget era that like takes me back to in the closet, little boy, listening to Demi Lovato. It was like, Don't forget, la la land, here we go again. Like, and I was I was also like I have become a better singer since then, but I was not I was ruining my mom's eardrums, like just screaming camp rock, like it just was um it was such a and you know what's so crazy? So like she created such a great time or a safe space for me during that time, and then like finding out everything we know about her now was doing that while that was probably one of the most difficult times of her life. So that's like the craziest thing about like artists is like they're out here experiencing like sometimes the most difficult moments. Moments in their life creating this art, sometimes contractual, because like it is what it is, but but as a means to even just let this out and we absorb it, they create safe spaces for us, they create people we look up to, and it's like I can totally see how sometimes they could even feel like oh my god, these people are looking up for me, and I'm a I'm a fraud. Like I I am not this happy person. I am going through all of these things, and like how, and that's so much pressure to like, how do you uphold that? So, but yeah, after the concert, I thought it was really great. There was this guy that I had seen while we were sitting there. I thought he was absolutely gorgeous, but then immediately as Demi like stopped singing her like encore songs, disappeared. And I was telling our other friend, like, oh, but I did this as a like a joke because I didn't think I'd ever see this man again. So I go, Oh, if I ever see that man again, I need to tell him like I just thought he was absolutely stunning. And so we're just walking, we get on the escalator, and then my friend is like, Oh my god, isn't that the guy right behind us? And I said, Fuck. I was like, Oh my god. I was like, okay, and he's like, Well, you have to do it because if you don't, then I'm going to. And I was like, No, I'll do it. That's fine. So I was like, I like he got off the escalator and I was like, hi, I'm sorry. And he's like, Oh, hello. And I was like, I just need to tell you, you're absolutely stunning. And he was like, Oh, thank you so much. And he was like, I really like your shirt. And I go, Thanks. And that's when I knew that nothing would ever happen between us, and that's okay. And that's fine. So then so then we go out to a bar, we go out to a bar, and he's a fucking he's at the bar. And I'm like, no, I I run in. He's like in the patio portion of the bar. Great. Then he like goes inside, we make our way outside, then they leave. Okay, fine. We're exhausted, we've traveled all day. We're like, we are gonna go get something to eat. We go to this restaurant, Dave's Hot Chicken. Thank you so much. It was delicious, and he's at the fucking restaurant, like sitting right there, just sitting right there. And I was like, I can't do this, like, no, and then my friend goes, Oh, I got his name because they called out his name on the order. And I said, No, it's okay. I don't need to know. I mean, I do know, but I'm not gonna drop it on the pod. But like, I mean, I guess it's very generic. You know what? His name was Garrett, super generic. Like, there's like 15,000 Garrett's in this world. I I refuse to believe there was only one Garrett at the Demi Lovato concert.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

Fair enough. But imagine he's gonna listen to this pod now and he's gonna be like, I found him. I kept seeing him all night that night, and I just knew.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

No, he's gonna be like, that guy was a fucking stalker. How did he know? No, absolutely not. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 47:05

Anywho, movies on let's talk about the our bar experience. And because I want to talk about that bartender at how was it the first club on the second night? Uh Diesel? Diesel?

SPEAKER_02 47:19

The like the bear bar at in Seattle.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

Yeah, wasn't he the one that like when you asked him what his favorite drink was?

SPEAKER_02 47:27

It was fucking hilarious. It was sitting there, I was sitting there with my friend, and we're just there, and like my friend and a bartender, I have learned, hates the question, what do you like to make? What do you recommend? Yes. No, they don't they're dealing with with sweats, and especially at a gay bar, who knows what other bodily fluids they're dealing with. Anywho, um, it's a chaotic experience because gay men can be chaotic already, and there's go-go dancers, like there's whatever. So they don't want to think, they just what do you want? And so our friend is like, hey, so what do you recommend? Or like, what do you like making? And this bartender straight face goes, water. Love making water, it's easy and it's free. Do you want water? I died amazing. I died, whatever have you. My friend ends up asking for a Moscow mule, and I was like, What the fuck? Okay, fine, amazing. So fine. That was the experience with the bar, the bartender there, which I will also say this other bartender there that I think is absolutely amazing and gorgeous. Yeah, whatever have you. I have gone to Seattle since I moved to Washington. I have gone to Seattle almost every summer, whether it's the beginning, middle, or the end of the summer for a concert. I've gone Lady Gaga, um, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Demi Lovato, whatever have you. And I always go to Diesel. Shout out to Diesel, go support. Um, but um he has been my bartender every single time that I have gone. And I remember him because he only has I only remember one face. He never remembers me, but always is like, you're really, you're really cute. And I was like, not cute enough for you to remember me, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

I mean that's I mean, that's fair though. Imagine how many guys he sees every single time he works.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

No, absolutely. That's why I'm not upset. I'm just saying, like, I can remember you, but you never remember me, and that's okay. And also, you know how many like cute men he probably sees on a daily? Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

I will say I was pretty proud the the second night we went to Diesel because I walked up and the bartender went, Hey, hey, and he like stopped and like actually recognized me.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

Oh, he remembered you.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Well, not like after a year, obviously, that's very different. But it I did feel a little special, and I feel like that's their job, of course, but still.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

How low is the bar that makes you feel special? Are you are you putting it up out of the ground?

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Like okay, okay, that's fair. That's absolutely fair, but still, I mean, attention from a really attractive guy is always gonna feel good.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

Oh, uh speaking of what do you remember? Oh, still, second night, whatever bar diesel, um, that lumberjack guy that you saw, but then that interaction with our friend.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

Oh my god, yeah, that was wild to watch. That was so wild to watch.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

So, first off, first off, Josh immediately sees this guy, which is so interesting because uh over time I don't know what Josh's type is anymore, but that's neither here nor there. This guy is wearing literally like a plaid red button-up long sleeve, like literally looks like a lumberjack, and Josh is like. He looks like the Brawny Man. He really percent. He does. I'm surprised he didn't have some napkin. He probably does have towels or whatever. You know what I mean. Anyways, so Josh sees him, he's like, Oh, whatever. And I'm just like, okay. Like, I most of the people that Josh does find attractive, I don't. So I'm like, okay. Like we're opposites. And and then the few times that he does find the people that I find attractive, I'm like, go get your own type, get out of my realm. For example, I love a ginger. Gingers are my thing, they're soulless creatures, they can deal with my my my meanness and my aries-ness and whatever have you. And recently, Josh has been like, hmm, I think this ginger is attractive. What the fuck, Josh? You literally are like, I love Latinos and I love like like just darker creatures and whatever happened. Like now you want now you want the translucent people that meet up under the moon.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

Like I want to be able to see the blue in their face.

SPEAKER_02 52:02

Yeah, like leave leave leave them alone. Leave my tip type alone. Anyway, so we see this guy, and then Josh, what did you see happen with this guy and our friend?

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Oh my god, it was the funniest thing. So obviously, he knew our friend. Um, and our friends our friend is hot. Yes, he's beautiful. So that's just like to have this person just like beelined it immediately to our hot friend, and just was like all over him, giving him a big old hug and was like, Oh my gosh, hi, like recognizing each other, hands on our friend's hips, and our friend reaches over, grabs his boyfriend, pulls him to him, and goes, 'Yeah, this is my boyfriend.' And the way Brawny Man threw his hands back and was like, Oh, I'm so happy.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

He he didn't aggressively grab his boyfriend. I think his boyfriend was already paying attention to like yeah, so he like reached like he reached out to bring him in and introduce his boyfriend, which pop off king, thank you so much. It's so easy in the gay community to get caught up in like the attention, and he was just like, This is my boyfriend, and just the like the stiffness of the brawny man to be like, Oh, okay, yeah, never touched him again, did not lay a hand on him. But that's also because our our other friend, this is the first time I've ever seen him get like possessive or like not possessive, possessive is a negative term, just very, very um protective, protective of this, and I was just like, wow, I've never seen you like get like this. It was it was it was just such an interesting night. I don't I don't know what else to like um say, but I just want to touch base a little bit on like astrology because um our friends, I think, are Gemini, Cancer, you're Taurus, I'm an Aries, and then the other friend that joined us that flew, are they Gemini too? They are Gemini, they're nice, yeah. They are Gemini. So we have a very eclectic group of of people, and I think that's also part of like our dynamic and stuff. But I also when do you think astrology signs actually matter? Do they matter?

SPEAKER_00 54:34

I mean, that's it's a hard question for me because it's like on the one hand, do like at the end of the day, do I really actually believe in this? Do I actually care? No. Um, but also at the same time speak for yourself. But at the same time, I'm also like, you know, I've learned a little bit about Letotaurus's, I learned a little bit about Letin Ares is, and sometimes people will do actions that are very true to the descriptions of their astrological sign. Um and it's kind of it's almost to the point where it's it's irrefusible. Like you can't you you can't deny it.

SPEAKER_02 55:16

I think we decide that they matter when either something is going really, really right or something's going really, really wrong. We're like, oh god, it's because it's because the Aries moon is in Gatorade. And that's why that's why all of a sudden I Don't you mean hater aid? You're sipping it, not me. Um but yeah, I think that's the only reason like that's when it we think it matters. But speaking of astrol astrology signs, like let's rank some of these signs. So who do you think are some of the meanest signs? Let's do two top three. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 56:05

Uh I'm with all due respect and all the levels. We're not mean, we're passionate, and people can handle that, but that's fine. There's you go for the jugular. Aries 10, and I've known several Jerries, Aries, known several Aries throughout my life, and every time I have known one, they will go for the jugular. They will always like they will poke, they are they're brave, they are fearless in that way because they'll say the thing that everybody in the room is thinking, but sometimes it is the meanest thing a person could have possibly said in that moment.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

So you're saying that you value people coddling you all. No, I think so.

SPEAKER_00 56:49

You don't value honesty. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that there's a there's a way, there's a time and a place, and there's a way you can deliver something. Some people are more sensitive and they do need a little bit more tact in delivery, and other people can take it blunt, straight, and just as it is.

SPEAKER_02 57:07

So then whose fault is it though? Because an Aries is gonna it an Aries is who they are, like through and through. I I can still deliver things with tact and still say the most honest thing and still be like, Well, that was a bitchy thing to say. And I'm like, I I don't know how much more tactful you want me to like if the boot fits, lace it up. Like, I'm just you are most people also come to an Aries for it for advice because they they come to them in the moments that they're like, Oh, I need someone tough to tell me something, and then it's like too tough.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

Absolutely, it's too tough, too tough. I mean, the amount of times that I've sat there and I've asked you for advice, and you've given me some of the most straightforward, like absolutely hurt hearing it advice. But I sat there and I went, but you're right, and I've accepted it.

SPEAKER_02 58:04

And Aries are right most of the time. I think the next meme um are Geminis.

SPEAKER_00 58:12

Hmm. Actually, no, I would argue with it as a Virgo. What's the difference? Tell me, like a Gemini is a I feel like Virgos are very organized, and Geminis are just chaos.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

Well, Geminis are mean because they just like they don't deal, they don't deal with people's bullshit. And Virgos, Virgos are just too put together to deal with anything that's like messy, like they're like, they're just not going to do it. And so people, so common thread, people think that like is it that we are the meanest signs, or that other people are just too sensitive?

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Again, I think that there is a time and place, and sometimes that's why certain signs don't get along with other signs at all.

SPEAKER_02 59:10

And that's spoken like a true Taurus.

SPEAKER_00 59:14

Uh, a uh a peacemaker, a person who wants to bring us to neutral ground.

SPEAKER_02 59:19

Don't even begin. There's a lot we didn't talk about this weekend, so neutral ground my ass. Anywho. Um, the last thing I want to do with our astrological signs is I want to I wanna s I'm gonna tell you an astrological sign, and you're gonna tell me on the spectrum from dom bottom to dom top what you think they are. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_00 59:51

Oh, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

Okay. A Capricorn.

SPEAKER_00 59:58

Oh, um I feel like a Capricorn is a sub bottom.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

Oh my gosh, okay. An Aquarius.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:10

Um, like reverse. I think Aquariuses are a little bit chaos all over the place. Pisces. Also a sub bottom.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:24

Um, I don't know how many Pisces you know, you know. Just because they are like um, like we value just you know, emotional connection or whatever, I don't think means that they're a sub. I think they're a top.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:39

I would put them like an they I think they're coy about it. They might be a soft top.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:44

Okay, fair.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:46

Uh let's see, I said Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Leo.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:53

Uh I'd I those come across as dom tops. Absolutely. Virgos. Um, verse, also verse, all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:03

A Virgo, a verse, Virgo, Libra.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:07

Um also a top energy, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

Okay. Scorpio.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

Also verse, also all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Dom bottom for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:22

You think so? Okay, fair.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Did I say Sagittarius yet?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:26

I don't think so. Bottom. I just just bottom. I just actually bob. You know, and that's I agree. Because they are chaos and they're crazy, but that's the thing, is they're always looking to the people in their life to kind of ground them back into who they are.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:46

A big old bottom.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:48

Big old bottom.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:51

Aries.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

Hmm. I'm gonna also say top energy.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

They do give top energy, but I've known a lot of verse Aries, but they do give top top energy.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:03

Yeah, a Taurus. And I'm biased, because I definitely would say Tauruses are also verse. They give sub bottom energy. I knew you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:15

They give that's the energy that they give.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

I think maybe another soft top. Maybe a soft verse. Sub bottom energy. Oh, okay. That's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

A Gemini.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

Also verse, because they're just such such duality.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:34

Cancers.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:37

Bottom.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:38

And cancers give bottom energy, but they're definitely like yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:42

So they surprise you as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:44

Yes, absolutely. All right, um, the next segment is called, and that's one thing straight and two things gay. The premise of this segment is we had a couple of people, some of our friends, write in some questions, um, people that they knew, um, that just asked us some questions. But moving forward, if you guys have any questions, by all means, send them in. Um, and one thing straight and two things gay is going to be essentially the one thing straight is probably the advice that we should tell you, because that's what non-chaotic people would do. But also keep in mind, we're not your therapist. So I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna what I would probably do in those situations, and Josh will do, and that's the two things gay, even though Josh is bi.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:44

Ah! No bi erasure that doesn't exist. Okay, continue on.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:51

Anyway, so how this is going to work is I am Josh. We're gonna go ahead and answer three questions, but I want Josh to pick a number between one and 15. And that's because I have 15 questions here.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:10

I'll go with your favorite number. I'll go with four. I knew that you were gonna go with four.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:16

Like, I'm god, I can read you like a book. Men, men, remember, listeners, men are simple creatures. Okay, number four. My situationship said they aren't ready for anything serious, and then got into a relationship two weeks later with someone else.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:36

Oh, that hurts. Um, wow. I might give it to you. I'm I'm gonna do, I'm I'm gonna do the straight part. I'm gonna give that one straight.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:46

Okay, just because you're half straight.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:50

I'm gonna give that straight because that's honestly like clearly that person just didn't want to hurt your feelings. And and they were trying to do a soft way of being like, hey, you're not for me, but they didn't want to be the bad guy at the same time. And so they just said that and then ended up finding a few.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:11

If a man wants you, they want you. They're gonna do like you can tell them you're a piece of shit, and they're like, I love when you talk to me like that. Like, if they love you, they love you. Like, if they want, they want you, that's it. But then it's also like they're so simple, also in a way that I think like sometimes a man will court you as long as they want, and sometimes you like give it finally when you like give it up, and then they're like, okay, well, I'm done now. Like it does not matter, like if they want you, like, so it's hard to even decide what do they want you for, because like and I think that's where we like confuse it, but um I've actually been in this situation. Where someone was like, I just am not ready. Like, there's all these things going on, whatever have you, blah, blah, blah. And I stepped away because I was like, I'm not gonna play these games. Like I've played them and like I've played this game enough with you already, not gonna do this. And so I stepped away. And not but like maybe three weeks later, a month later, they were they were with someone and they're still with them. Good for them. Yeah, happy for you. But like I think the first portion of this is truly what like I need to do is figure out why why are we why do we go for situationships? Like and I I would say that a situationship without boundaries says more about you and what you're willing to accept than about the other person.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:54

I think we don't sit in the discomfort enough. Um and as a per That's something I uh I'll even be vulnerable on the podcast. Oh my goodness. That's something I'm learning to deal with as I'm navigating the dating world, is it's like it's hard, it's it's really difficult to come around to the idea that somebody is giving you a clear message and you don't want to hear it because you don't want to believe that about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:20

That's yeah, that's the thing is like, and that's the other thing. Men men are telling you even in their silence or in their inability to communicate, they are telling you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:34

Yep, their actions will tell you everything you need to know.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:36

So I would just say you first need to understand like why are we accepting situationships? I understand like friends of benefits and things like that. Fine, like it happens, but like if you're not setting boundaries and you're not like winning in this situation of like, oh no, this is this is what I want, like, whatever have you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:59

Tripping over that bar because you set it too low, then walk away.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:02

All right, so four four is out of the question. You got pick another number one through 15.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:08

I'll pick my favorite now, which is seven.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:11

Well, didn't know that about you. Look at we're learning.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

I think I cultivated these in a way that I knew you would pick in this manner. Because this is crazy. Why do I suddenly become the least chill person alive the second I actually like somebody? Ow! Ow, why damn that first question was for me, the second question is definitely yours. So I'm gonna take this one then to begin. Oh, okay. The one thing's the one thing straight is I think that with the right person, if you're getting a little chaotic or you're getting a little like whatever and all this stuff, and you really want to hang out with them and you want to talk to them and you whatever, when you're when you have found the right person, they're not gonna think that it's too much.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:10

They're gonna meet you.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:12

Yeah, they're gonna meet you where you're at. So, like it's yes, do we maybe want to play it a little cool every now and then? Do we want to make sure that the vibes are right first and foremost? Absolutely. But like, if your instinct when you really like someone is to be not chill, maybe that is your way of also weeding out the right, like the people that are gonna meet you there. Yeah, like it's just because the right, like I said, the right person is going to be like, oh my god, this is the least chill person I met. But I love them. Like, yeah, that's amazing. They're going up it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:52

And I think that's one of the things too, is like us getting to witness this first hand, like with our friends who are the boyfriends on the trip that we went on. I mean, they from the moment they met, they clicked, and they were they've never been to too much for each other.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

But they're too much for everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:14

And and that's that's the point of it, though, right? Is that somebody one person is going to be too much if they're not your person, but if they're your person, you can be around them 24-7, and it's not gonna be enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:26

But Josh, what do you do in these situations when you become the most at least? I have so much excitement.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:31

Yeah, no, um, I get do do two things. Um, I either talk way too much or I don't talk at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:39

Um I have never known a situation in which you don't talk at all to the person that you like. You always talk way too much.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:49

Oh no, no, that's that's okay. Remember the very first night we ever went to the queue, and um I had met somebody who I had found very, very, very attractive the moment they walked through the door. I didn't say a word all night. I did I said three words, I think, to them the whole time they were standing near us.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

I think that also, I don't know, not to get a like too deep or whatever, but I think when we aren't like super chill, there's definitely a deeply rooted like situation going on, whether it was from like childhood or whatever, of like this necessity to be like wanted or to feel enough for someone or whatever have you. And I think like if you don't feel if you are trying to get your fulfillment from someone else and like you're trying to like feed that energy and you're not feeding that energy, that's why you become not chill, is because yeah, you're actively seeking this from someone else.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:01

If a person walks up to you that you don't necessarily find attractive, but they find you very attractive, you get to remain chill because there's no stakes in the game, there's no way of losing it. But when you find somebody attractive, there that's a reflection. That's a reflection of how you feel about yourself and what you feel like you would want, something that you can reach for. And when that person doesn't meet you where you want them to meet you, you then because it is a reflection, you're now going, I'm not good enough, I'm not enough, I can't do enough, and then you have spirals.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:36

And that's why you should always think that no man is good enough for you. Trust me, it removes the anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:45

Or just go to therapy. One of the two.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:49

I mean, I learned that in therapy, so absolutely go to therapy, and then you'll learn that no no man and no person is deserving of your time. Because your time is precious. Okay, last number.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:07

Okay, I'll go 10.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:12

How do you know when to be patient with someone versus when you're just accepting bare minimum effort? Well, as Josh probably can speak on this a lot more as he has accepted bare minimum effort constantly.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:34

Okay, I mean, you're not wrong. Um, I'm I mean it's true. It's again, I'm still learning. I'm not say I won't qualify myself as a gaby anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:45

Oh my god, goodness. That has been your excuse for the past year.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:51

Okay, it's not an excuse, just a fact. I'm learning. I'm still learning. And I think the I think everybody continues to learn no matter how mature what what have you they get in the dating world.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:01

Well, I will definitely say that if you're not learning after every relationship something, then you didn't do the relationship right.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:09

I think it's a scale. I do think it's a scale, and it takes time. So on the one hand, you sit there and you have to give that person the space and time to prove something to you. Um, and they will prove through their actions over time whether or not they need your patience or if it's just not working. Um, because sometimes we're all human, we all have our things that we do that are gonna bother other people around us. There are things that we also all need to work through. We're not gonna come perfectly packaged. And so speak for yourself. Okay. Um yes, John Jacob, you're perfect in every way. In every way. So it's just a scale. I think if their actions are over time, if their actions just don't meet you there, that they're not showing you that they care through their actions, then it's not about being patient. It's about then learning self-respect, realizing where you're at in the situation. Um, because I've even had that with some friends where like their actions totally made me feel a type of way. I talked to them about their actions, and then they said, Hey, I didn't know that bothered you. I'll fix it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:32

And then drop their names. No, I'm just joking.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:34

Oh, I absolutely not. Uh and they said, I'll fix it. Um, and I'll I'll just say one of those friends was on the trip with us. How about that?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:48

Um and so sitting right here, that's fine. You can literally say it was me. Again, as the person who just says it like it is, I completely understand. Um, I would say that I do agree with the point of like you do have to give people a time to, I don't like to say prove themselves, but I think show up for you the way that like if they're setting a boundary on something, you have you can either choose to respect that boundary or like ignore it, right? Yeah, but then you also over time, and I think this is just something that you learn as you just date, and I think that's why I said every time you date someone, I think I think even failed relationships, you have learned what you enjoy of a relationship and what you no longer will accept. And so as you move forward, you start setting those boundaries. And I think I think it was Kiki Palmer in a like interview, and I don't know who this interview with, or I love her, um, super wise, but she said something along the lines of like when you set boundaries, you're given the you're giving the other person the opportunity to show up.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:14

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:15

And so even if they are not perfect in all these other ways, but they're attempting to try to meet you at your boundary to like uphold your boundary, then like they're trying, and that's a way to like, so I think sometimes like setting boundaries in those relationships is what's really more important because you're then giving them the opportunity to show up. It's not necessarily a test, it's just hey, this is how you're making me feel, this is what's going on. Yeah, like I I would very much like for you for me not to feel like this again.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:51

No, I think that I mean, because that's the point I was trying to get to. You you answered you met it so well, because that's what I'm saying, is just people need to show up.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:00

I met you at your boundary.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:02

You you did, you sure did. No, um I I'm just like if if you set that boundary and somebody doesn't show up, like you shouldn't be afraid to set boundaries, especially if in a romantic relationship you should feel comfortable setting boundaries and talking about your needs. If you don't, that is probably one of the biggest red flags you can come across.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:24

Don't start talking about red flags. Right, red flags to me are land here. Yes, land here. Oh, you have the the more the red flag, the more I want you. What are you talking about? Speaking of airline travel. Yeah, speaking of traveling, wow, and we have come full circle. Well, uh, I think we've ran just a little longer than we intended. We were definitely trying to shoot for about an hour, and I think a little bit was just we go off on these tangents. Um, but um, we do have a couple of like other segments that we're gonna try to do, which is and that's that's the shade, and shade will stand for stories, headlines, and dramatic events that maybe we'll tackle on the next episode. There's a lot of things that are coming up as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:14

I mean, yeah, just like uh follow us on Instagram. Uh that's a pod convo. Uh like and subscribe to our next episode. Find us, you know, find us on all podcast streaming platforms.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:26

Yeah. Well, and that's a pod convo for y'all. And if you aren't subscribed to our Patreon, you're missing half of the story.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:34

I'm gonna tell you that our facial expressions are probably half of our communication. So yeah, you are definitely missing out.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:40

I have to sometimes like vocalize my facial expression because if not, then half of this pod would be silent because it's just us looking at each other like, did they say that?

unknown 1:19:53

Did they say that?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:55

Yeah, but thank you again for listening. Thank you for coming. I hope, oh, not like that, didn't like that ending. But if you did, then let us know.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:08

Let us know. Maybe our voice probably purchased the Patreon, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:12

Our voices do something to y'all that we didn't think they did. But yes. Um, other than that, after you're gonna be able to do it.