SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to Living in Lavender.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

It's controversial.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

It belongs in the pond.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Always where the heart is, babe.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Do you smell the toast?

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Is that supposed to be a read or then one thing led to another?

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Don't boost the though too much.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

You make the schedule.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Don't be fucking rude.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Welcome back. Period.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Happy Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Sorry. Welcome back. Sorry for another week off.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

We've really been slacking. But in our defense, it is summer, babe.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

It is.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

We gotta live our life.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

And bitches love sama.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Bitches love sama and a cracker.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

And a cracker.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Oh. Are you caught up?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

No, we didn't watch the fucking part two.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Devastating because I really wish we could touch on it today.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Sorry. I literally I tried to look last night when like when I was like crawling into bed getting cozy and it hadn't dropped yet. And I was like, shit, and then I fell asleep.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

And then I'm not sure. That one I watched today. It is. Oh, it's the one. It is probably one of the best reunions.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Oh, I can't wait.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

It is just so aggressive, toxic, hilarious. All the things. I cannot wait to see these bitches back for a season two. Yeah. We need the whole cast.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

No, no one needs to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

No one needs to be dropping.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

No one being added. Yeah. It is Chef's Kiss the way it is right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

I need to see them all back season two.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

I have a feeling they're gonna add what's her name? Um Liz's friend there. Dolores? Yeah. They're gonna like add her as like an official member. I bet you.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

I would love that.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

I mean, she's cute or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

I love Dolores.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

But I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Love her on Jersey.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Is she on Jersey? Yes. See, I don't watch the other housewives.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

That's why. Prostitution Hoa. Engaged 19 times. Is that New Jersey? Yeah, Teresa. Teresa Judyce.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

That icon.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Yeah. They should do a crossover. Teresa should come visit.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yeah. The girls. Oh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Bravo, you need us.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

We need to be in the writer's room. Yep. Stat.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Stat. I'd be cooking things up for Joellen next season.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Listen, we're East Coasters. We will come down there. No problems.

unknown 2:46

No problems.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Car's already packed. Carrey.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Yeah, car is ready to give you a package.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

We just need the offer letter.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Say the word. Yeah. Shoot us a text. We'll be there. Okay. Um all right. Well, I will get on that and we can touch upon that next time.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Yes. Iconic. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Um, I do want to say congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Oh, I am I am writing an all-time high right now. This is how you know. Breaking the barrier, busting through the glass, trend setting, shooting for the stars. An icon. Officially received our first hate comment.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

First and second hate comment.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Yes. Well, I don't know. Or shall I say I received, because it was a personal attack.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Yeah. It couldn't be more clear. Like.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Um, clearly, judging by the profile and all the anime photos, clearly things are connecting.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Um, yeah, babe. Welcome back. I'm a flaming homosexual.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Hello. Like, no shit. Oh my god. But the the second one wasn't even really a hate comment. It was just like, you're annoying and don't have a sense of humor, so fuck off. They were like, um, I don't remember what they said. They were like, uh, obviously he's a man, like he can still be a man and be gay, because in her thing it was like, Oh yeah, when I'm trying to be the man or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

I think she was commenting to I don't think so. Well, that's how I read it. Also, if you were sticking up for me, thanks, bitch. If you weren't, fuck you, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

But fuck you, but also But thank you for commenting.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Thanks for the comment. Engaging. Appreciate you. And shout out to Lucas for being our gay online busting through the firewalls, protecting us.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

It's like, get a girl, get my son with Curdy.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

You know, he was tapping on the headset, like we got a situation.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

We're gonna need to do a hard reset.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

We're shutting down Instagram for 20 minutes. Clearing house.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Oh my god, that living day.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Thank you, Lucas. Love you. You're a real one.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

But anyway, I just it made my day because I just feel like we made it, babe. We made it.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

We made it. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you. Really boosted the ego, so I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Yeah. Same here, honestly. I was like, damn. If it had been on my own personal page, I would have been like, oh my god, I'm falling apart. Yeah. And then, but now that it's like on hours, I'm like, uh, we made it. We're going somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

True.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

It's our aha moment. Exactly. Yeah. Fucking do your fucking homework. If you're gonna comment on someone's shit. Maybe say something clever.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Yeah. Like, can you be funny about it, baby?

SPEAKER_02 6:20

No shit, I'm gay.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

What is this fucking 2009? You're gay. Okay? And that's literally the point.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

You're not in on the joke.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

People are so people are so funny to me in that way.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Just like not in there. Hello.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

When they don't have a sense of humor, I'm just kind of like.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

I feel bad for you.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

BB.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

That explains why you have no photos of yourself and it's all anime.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

You said it on me.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Yeah, babe. Let me guess, your girlfriend's a dragon. Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Not a dragon.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Anyways, I'm not gonna harp on the anime, gaming worlds, whatever.

unknown 7:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

To each their own.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

We all have our thing. That's just not my thing. But that's okay. His thing is being gay, clearly. What can you do?

SPEAKER_01 7:18

And that's that's just what it is. Anyway, moving forward forward.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Let me see these nails.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Oh, you like the ziggrippers?

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

I need to get mine done. How is Anna?

SPEAKER_01 7:32

She's great. Um, she was asking for you.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

What'd she say?

SPEAKER_01 7:37

She was like, Where's Jonathan? And I said, um, he's busy because I didn't know what to say. Uh-huh. And she was like, Oh, okay, like, that's good. It's summer time. And I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Bitches love summer.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

Bitches love summer.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

So you need to be making an appointment because I I still got some like pieces of acrylic on here. Ooh, I'm not looking cute, girl. It's given section eight, nine, and ten. Do you take EBT?

SPEAKER_01 8:06

It's not cute. No.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

No.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

No. But um, I finally went back and she's gorgeous. She did a fabulous job.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Did you see Anna?

SPEAKER_01 8:18

I saw Anna for my nails for my hands. Yes. And I saw Hannah for my pedicure because Hannah didn't have time for both.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

So.

unknown 8:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Poor Hannah bent over.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Stop it. I thought about it. I thought about that.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

And I was like, for anyone that doesn't know one of our nail girlies at Fashion Nails and Dennis, shout out to them.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Shout out to Tracy.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

She's pregnant and like ready to pop any moment.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah, she has a couple more months to go.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

And here's Shannon just like, yeah, give me a pedicure. That's ignorant.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Listen, I didn't know what the hell was gonna happen when I walked in there. I didn't know if it was gonna have Anna or Hannah. I was assuming it was gonna be Anna for my toes and Hannah for my hands. That's just what I had assumed.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

You know what they say about assuming.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

You're right. No, you're right. You're right. That's on me. And um, yeah, and Hannah gave me my pedicure and I said, um, so how are you feeling? Like, is this okay? And she was like, Oh my god, I'm fine. So cute as buttons. Yeah, cute as a button. You wouldn't know that she's like ready to pop though, because she's so tiny. But um, yeah, she's good. Um, I saw Anna's daughter. She's getting so big. I can't believe it. She's almost three. She was running around the yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Oh my god, the rain's wild.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

So she was flying.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, she was running around the salon. It was very cute.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Um I really wish I got mine done.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Well you were him and an on, so I was like, I'm about to just go bite the bullet.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

I know. I go through these phases.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Like, you can't decide whether or not you want to be butch.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Yeah. I it's like an off-on switch. Like some days I'm like, she's cute, she's feminine, and then other days I'm like, I'm butch. I can't make up my mind.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

And that's okay. Every day can be different.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

This is true.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Oh, happy pride.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Happy Oh, we are closing out the Pride Month with some hate comments.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Thank you. Oh my god, and I live uh slipping.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

What else does it do?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Um much. I have some talking points.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Oh, oh, she did not come to play. Okay, babe, lay it out. Let's hear um.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Let's check some things off our list, shall we?

SPEAKER_02 10:57

We've been taking notes.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

We've been taking notes specifically at the salon because of the behavior, excuse me. Because of the behavior whack sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Like some fuck-ass attitudes. I'm sorry. I understand it's summer. The area in which we live is uh a vacation destination for some. And they come from all sorts of areas of life. Some people think that they are God, and that just they need to be put in their place. But unfortunately, we're in the fucking. Oh my god. I thought I was going to I was I literally laughed out loud when she was.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Yeah, oh I like, yeah. And then I clapped back.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

I hope she heard me.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Clapped back and then Well, I just wanted to know if I should wrap my head back up.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Girl. Bye. Girl. Honestly, leave it down because if it air dries longer, you're gonna be a faster blow dryer, and we can get you the fuck up out of here.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Please and thank you.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Leave it down.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

That behavior. Can't have it.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

No. No. No. No. What was the thing that happened literally right as that was happening? Wasn't there something else too? Literally, it happened at the same fucking time. Oh, the price thing. The A Veda on the Veda.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Oh my god. That completely forgot about that.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Like, if you do not badger retail employees, okay?

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Like, ma'am, we just work here.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

I am not a beta. I am not essay lauder companies. I do not set the price point. I don't know what to tell you. I just enforce it, okay? This woman walks in off the street, not even a client, just comes in to buy a product, grabs the face cream off the shelf. I'm bringing it in for her. I tell her the price, ask her kindly if she would like a bag, and she hands me her AMX, which I tap and it's like declined, but not declined for insufficient funds. Okay. Just, you know, the metal cards I have a hard time tapping. Yeah. But she was your card was declined, but I didn't get the chance to say that. So as I'm tapping again, she questions the price. And I go, Oh yeah. She goes, Well, I can get it other places cheaper. Ma'am, no, you can't. Aveda dictates the price across the board, and if you're caught doing it less than that, you can get in trouble. So, no, across the board for everyone. So she goes, I want to look. So she grabs the product, sits down in a chair, and she starts scrolling on her phone. Meanwhile, I pull up Aveda.com. I go, ma'am, I'm on the website. It is in fact $48, and then with mass tax, it does come out to $51. So she goes, I can get it cheaper somewhere else, puts it back on the shelf, walks out.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Yeah. It's called go home to wherever your whatever your tax is.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

You could get it $3 cheaper. What why? Why? It costs more in energy to scroll the internet and to do an order to save $3. Which you can't. It's the same price across the board, but whatever.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

But also, if you're gonna get it off of fucking Amazon, who's to say that it's like the real thing, eh? Because that has with skincare at least. I know they water that shit down sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

This oh, story time. Did I ever tell you about the story when I worked at Macy's and a client was returning a product?

SPEAKER_01 15:04

And it was fucking yes, I think you did. I think you did.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Oh. Everyone saddle up. It's story time. You're welcome. So here I am, young and gay, working at the Origins counter. And this woman comes in and she's returning a face cream. So I'm like, yeah, no problem. So I take the box, the receipt, I start scanning everything through the register, and at the time our protocol was to take whatever the product was out of the box and look at it to make sure, like, because at the time the policy was if it's like half used, we cannot return it.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Yeah. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

So I go to open the box and she frantically star I didn't even open it. And I it's okay, ma'am. That that's fine. I need to open it. I told you I didn't open it. It wasn't even used. You don't need to open it. And I'm like, ma'am, I'm doing my job. Do you want me to get fired? So I'm like, I know, that's okay. We have to open the product, it's just part of policy, so it's okay. I open the jar. Girl. Girl. Immediately I know something is off.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

What was what was your first what was what was the first thing that you noticed?

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Texture and color. Like I'm like, this is not my creme. Okay. This is not my origins utopia that I constantly sell. Yeah. So I took a scoop. Not even. I brought that thing up to the nostrils. And then I took in a deep whiff of Yo Play yogurt. Okay?

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Yogla.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

If you have time on your hands to go to the department store, buy a face cream, scoop it out, then scoop in a yogurt into the jar.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Maybe get a job so that you can maybe pay for perhaps stay home.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Just stay home. You're a hazard to society. Please don't do it. Because I don't trust you. If you could do something so conniving like that, oh my god. What else are you capable of?

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Didn't somebody do that to us at our last salon?

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Oh that yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

With like it was a shampoo or something.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

It was a shampoo. They had dumped out the shampoo and put some other product in it.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

It was another product or it was like water or something.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Yeah, they had left like some of the product in it and then watered it down, and it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I'm like, if that is what you're doing with your free time, maybe we pick up a hobby that isn't fraudulent.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Like just goes back to me watching that lady steal from the cosmetic company store and me wanting to absolutely body slam her and the cobblestone.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Because that is stealing.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

You are disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

That isn't stealing. Like, listen. And we've said this before. If you if I see a woman at Target who is maybe stealing a c a handful of feminine products or diapers or food for the baby on her hip, I'm not gonna say a goddamn word. No. Because it's Target, and also it's like people are.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Those are things that you need. Those are necessities.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

People are struggling right now.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

You do not need a um $65 Origin Zetothia creme. Okay? You don't need it.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

You can go exactly. You can go to fucking Dollar Tree. You can you can go on a Dollar Tree fucking spree up and down the fucking cape if you wanted to and find some fucking cereb at one of them.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Yeah, brother.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Just just saying.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

So anyway. This is what we're being met with because it is uh peak season.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

I also did have money thrown at me this week, too. A tip.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Well, so that was on the list.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Yeah. Um I think Shannon took more offense to it than I did.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

I did.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

And I think it's because I didn't like this lady's attitude with me personally.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

And I love this lady. Like she's she's so sweet. I love her.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

I don't know if sweet is the way that I would describe her, but um, you know, personality is subjective, I suppose.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

She came in for her blowout and I had to wash her and gave her a gorgeous shampoo and a gorgeous scalp massage.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

And when she hashed out from her blowout, and she goes, and this is for you, and she threw a 20 at me. Like literally a flick of the fingers, like threw a 20 at me.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

This man is a fucking scripper.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Honey, if you got some benji's, I'll do a lot more than rub your head.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

I was like, thank you so much. Thank you. I thought this, I thought this motherfucker was gonna cry.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

And then I literally, yeah, Shana was not having it. And then I was like, oh, that made my coochie water. And then Shannon was certainly not having that.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

No, I was like, I don't like the way that she fucking drew that at you. That's fucking rude.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

I was like, I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

He was eating it up, and I was like, if one of these other fucking dusty ass clients fucking flicked a fucking bill at you.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Oh, they would be humble in the parking lot. But this lady, I love her, so I was like, she's so cute. I love it. Any other home, I would clap. Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, broad, don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

You can hand it to me next time.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

I don't know. I just don't like that shit. It's the same thing as like when they go to pay and they slam their card down on the thing and they don't hand it to me when I have my handout in front of them. They're just gonna go, like, just hand it to me. I don't know, maybe that's just because like my dad instilled that in me. I I'll never forget it. I was, I don't remember, I was young and we were somewhere, and I was paying for the first time, like with my own hard earned mente.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Our own coin.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yeah, and it was like probably like a candy bar or something, and I just like put it on the counter or whatever, and my dad was. Like, don't you ever do that again? He was like, That is so rude. And I was like, And so now parenting. He was pissed that I did that. And so ever since then, I'm very much and I agree, like, because ever since then, I've had people just slam their fucking form of payment down as if my hand isn't right here.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Like, my favorite is like when they hand it to you, and then you tap, and then you're trying to hand it back to them and they're not even acknowledging you.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

So you end up standing there for a minute. Like, hello.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Do you want me to just put it in my pocket? Because I will test me.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

Exactly. That's one of my faves.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Right. So, anyway. No, I didn't like the way that she threw it at you.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Oh, I was here for it. Throw some more at me. Make it rain.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Um, on the um topic of tipping, people not tipping is interesting. So ignorant or not tipping enough. Like, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

I am 20% standard minimum.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

For a service. For a service.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Do not do anything less than 20%. If you are out here giving $10 on a fucking $200 service.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Go fuck yourself. Hey, how about go fuck yourself? Stay home. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Don't don't do it. Don't come out. Don't go out to eat. Don't get your nails done. Don't get your hair done. If you don't know how to tip, stay your broke ass home, like Bergie said.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Correct. Because these people are putting their hands on you. They are giving their time, their energy, their fucking expertise. They've been doing this for fucking years. The least you can do is tip them because a lot of these places, I mean, we're very lucky where we work, how we compensate our service providers.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Um pennies.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Yeah, there are people who are working for a percentage of that $200 service.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

So be mindful. That's all.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Yeah, just be mindful. Come come correct, come with the money, come with the dough.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

And that's all I gotta say.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Oh, and clean up after yourself. That's my other thing. I don't want to be cleaning up your water water, coffee cups, your snack wrappers.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

My fucking favorite when they get a brand new coffee and then don't drink it and just leave it.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Not even one sip, just left. Or my other thing is if you go to an establishment who has a candy dish or a mint jar, do not be a slam pig and fucking take fistfuls of the candy.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

That's fucking fine.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Do you know what I walked into the other day? All over the floor by one of the reception chairs, someone had taken a fistful of fucking mints, eating them while they were waiting for their service, and throwing them down on the floor next to the chair.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

The wrappers? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

First off, how do you eat 12 mints? Do you really have diarrhea breath? Like how is your mouth not burnt from eating 12 mints?

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Probably.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

12 mints? What the fuck? And you clean up after yourself. I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

We are sweeping up hair all day long. You think we don't have a fucking trash can? I would prefer it when people come up to me and they're like, hey, do you have a trash? Like, I don't know where the trash is. I would prefer that. Hand me your garbage. I would be glad to, or I will happily point you to the nearest garbage receptacle. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Amen. Which can be located every five feet.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Please. Hello.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

That's all. What else do we have on the list? Oh my god, I feel like K cups. Oh. What? Stealing K cups? It all comes back to thievery, okay? Don't be a skink ass bitch. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Stealing a face cream. Stealing K cups. From the fucking complimentary coffee bar.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

That is just caca. If you do something like that, you just oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Like, baby girl. Ocean State Job Law has a case of fucking K cups for $4.99, baby.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

Girl.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Alright. There's a fucking hack for you.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

There's HBT. Like in it. Like I don't know. It's frustrating.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

It is frustrating. Anyway, I just had to touch upon the K cups.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

The other frustrating thing is um watching people park.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Uh yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

We park in a bubble. This oh this is gonna segue into two things. Because we are in a glass dome. Okay. The people watching is just skipping SpongeBob in the dome.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

In um Sandy's bubble.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yes, when when he performs the halftime show. Oh, yeah, the bubble bowl. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 27:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

It's like I don't think Sandy was a part of that, but it was going along with it.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

She was definitely in the band.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Was she? Oh, so lesbian of her. I love it. So we are in the dome, okay, and the salon. It is all glass. We can see you.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

And we can see everything you're doing. By the way.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

When we watch you attempt to pull into a parking spot literally eight times. This woman. Okay, now my I drive a Jeep. I've been driving a Jeep for a long time. My husband drives a Jeep. I drive his Jeep. It's bigger than mine. This woman is pulling into the very first parking spot in front of us. No joke. How many times? Six.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Like six.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

Backing up, pulling forward, backing up, pulling forward. Ma'am, are you Austin Powers?

SPEAKER_01 28:22

But every single time hitting, managing to hit the curb. Roll into the curb. Like every time.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

Katie's bouncing forward. Like, and you watch it. Like the head thrust towards the steering wheel. Boom. Because she's boom.

unknown 28:38

Boom.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Like. No joke. Shannon and I sat there for five minutes watching this woman repeatedly smash into the curb and head thrust towards the windshield.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

And I don't know if she was just trying to get her tires off the curb or what the deal was, but like, but she kept doing it. And I was like, ma'am. Ma'am, is there someone we can call? Are you okay? Do you want me to park that for you?

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Like, what is up?

SPEAKER_02 29:05

Like, I'm about to do a citizen's arrest. Like, you should not be driving. I think we need to PC you. That is just iconic to me.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

That was between that, the fucking almost or actual car accidents that we see so many car accidents in the parking lot.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

Or I can't tell you how many times people, because again, we're on a glass dome, front and back and side, we watch people all day long back up out of their parking spot and almost plow up over the curb and hit us. Yep. Honestly, though, please do it. Please do it. It is an instant 250k.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

And I want to paid summer off.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

And maybe. Baby.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Give it to me.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Just close your eyes, rev it a little bit, and smack that ass off. Do it. Yeah. Do it. Thank you. If you're gonna do it, do it.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Just send it. Now, mind you, this is also a very busy parking lot because we are right next to a major grocery store, which we will touch on momentarily. But we are also in a we are also in like a major shopping plaza outdoor mall situation, okay? And there is some construction happening. And so behind us in the parking lot, there's this massive motherfucking dumpster. Okay. I did see some dumpster diving the other day. For some, I don't know, for scraps, for whatever. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

If I had to guess, definitely scrapping metal because they're like gutting that unit down down from us. But these pe like, first off, like you're in like a O for Chevy Malibu.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yeah, like a sedan. Like we were in double.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Shit out of a construction dumpster.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Putting it on like a trolley, and I'm like, where the fuck is this trolley supposed to go?

SPEAKER_02 31:10

How did you get the trolley here?

SPEAKER_01 31:11

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. Did you ride it here? Like I was like confused.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

I have questions.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

And also, homie had his, he was outside like talking on the phone, like to his family members, like you know, chopping it up with this fucking person on the phone. His other fucking homie is in like up to his fucking head, past his head, in garbage, absolutely hunting for God knows what. And this man is just down here by the trolley being like, yeah, man, I'll be seeing you later tonight. Like blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, go help your friend. If you're gonna do it, go do it.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

You're not a good friend. Not a good friend.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

But I feel like we've seen our fair share of dumpster diving.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Oh, I've had two dumpster dives. We can't, we can't judge Well, I mean, it's not our fault.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

No.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Our previous employer. Moment of silence.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Um a mild hoarder.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Mild? Do you know anyone who is um 60 years old and still has their first rocking horse? Baby's first haircut. But yeah, she had a deep attachment to things. And anytime we try to clean, declutter, like when she was not there, we would try to hurry up and throw things away. And I I don't even know how this woman knew these things. Like, we would dump things a day later, she would come in.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

And she would be, we would just see her feet like fucking dangling outside of the dumpster.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

Dangling over the side of the dumpster, crying and weeping, being like, why did you throw that away? Then would make you crawl into the dumpster to retrieve items that you've dumped. Oh, maybe I've never done that. I had no choice. My paycheck depended on it. Like I was held captive.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

But right, that's a story for a different time.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

That's for our Diant Soyer exclusive.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Yeah. If it ever comes.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Oh, that day will come. That day will come. For everyone.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

So we've had our fair share of dumpster diving. Um but not by choice. Not by choice, no. Not by choice, no. I'm not trying to get into a dumpster and dig around and I I don't care. I don't care what's in there. I don't care how much money you can make off of it. I I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Yeah, no. It's just not It's not the one. I've also I've known people to like I like personally know people who like go outside of a convenience store and just like rummage around the garbage can that's outside the door, which I find fucking foul.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

Disgusting. Or like watching people pick up cigarette butts off the ground.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Yeah. Yeah. Gross. But I'm like, but these people they find the fucking infection. They're like the garbage rummagers are finding like unscratched lotto tickets or scratched lotto tickets that they thought that people thought were losers and they were winners. And I'm like, I know somebody who found a $500 winner. And I was like, damn. But I you will not be finding me still still, I will not be fucking doing that.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Oh no, bitch. Now that story is making me second guess. Like I can I got PRL.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Oh no. I have babies.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

I got the latex gloves. We could trap up.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

We've come this far without contracting anything.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

Girl, a $500 lotto ticket. It might be worth the tetanus shot.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

Yeah. See, Matthew, Matthew's got the gloves. He's like getting it.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

This just in.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

Matt's like you first. Win it for us, baby.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Oh my god. But maybe that's why I'm broke, because I just don't have maybe we just need to start digging. Maybe I just need to grow a backbone. Maybe maybe I just need to be willing to get dirty.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Cut to our OnlyFans. That was a great segue, Shannon. I'm proud of you.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

Sean?

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Do we have something to tell you? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Oh maybe one day, we'll see. If things get real real dark.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

It's lucrative.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Um, what else do we see in our um?

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Shall we talk about it? Do we dabble in? I don't want to update people. Our spouses. Like the growing sexual tension that we have.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

My spouse doesn't listen to this.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Okay. Well, my spouse produces it, you know. Matt, put your headphones on. Listen to your background music.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Um I just want to apologize to the grocer that is next to us. Why are we apologizing? He's playing a fucking game of cat and mouse with us.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Okay. We're not apologizing. He should be apologizing.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Apologizing to the company.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Oh, okay. Alright. Well, no, not really, because they rob people, so.

SPEAKER_01 37:19

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Robbery. Straight up. Um. So next to our salon is a grocery store. And we have discovered um an employee of this grocery store who I mean, he's been around now for a couple months. Yeah, for a while. I noticed him a while back because I would see him every morning walking down the main road to work in the morning. Yeah. And I after a couple days of seeing it, I felt kind of bad. And I was like, should I be like, Do you need a ride? Yeah, like I feel like you know what I mean? Like, because when you work next to each other, like you see each other, you kind of get to know the people like nearby or around the nearby surroundings. So I always felt bad, but never offered.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

And as of recently, it has come to our attention.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

Or shall we say he's brought it to our attention.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

This man has brought it to our attention that he has.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

He loves to come out on his break and casually stroll by our windows with no shirt on.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

He wants us to know that he's been working very hard on his physique.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

And it shows.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

And he it's paying off. It is paying off. We are not here to discourage or to to say, you know.

SPEAKER_02 38:55

I would never discredit someone.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Yeah. Yes, correct.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

We see you. We see you. You be up in the gym working on your fitness where you're witnessing.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

And we are witnessing it.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

And good for you, boo, because.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

God damn. So this gentleman has um started walking by shirtless on his break, and you know, the two uh bitches at the desk during their downtime fucking like to like nasty hose. Like, you know. Well, we caught his eye.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

And he saw us absolutely like giggling and being two little fucking schoolgirls in the window.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

And now he is playing with it.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Yeah. Now he purposefully walks by and looks in miles, gives us a nod, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Pacing back and forth, collecting a little bit, and I'm like Downing his Arizona, ripping a butt.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

Ripping a butt, putting his uh earbuds in.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Yes. I will say he is a butter face.

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Yeah, like he's not. It's not giving.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

It's not giving.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

It's not giving. He has a delicious hair, though.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Curly, delicious hair.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Delicious juicy curls.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

We dad cut stream.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Curly cut to the max. Steve curl hair. Yes. She's giving curl refresh. Um face is paper bagged, but the body.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

Cut. Body yaddy yaddy. Is cut. It is cut and chiseled.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

So we now have growing sexual tension with um the stop and shop and terrified that he's gonna come walking in. I also don't know who he's like trying to play cat and mouse with.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

It's just that both about I don't know if he's trying to play with both of us.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah, maybe that's like a fun game for him. Being like, I have one when I can have both.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Exactly. Try to have that game.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Okay, we are scissors sisters.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

Um and our only fans is on the horizon. He could be down.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

We are pending account approval. Verify licenses.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

Verifying spousal approval.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

We're independent bitches. We do what we want.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Um, yeah, this man, and it is very confusing because we're both like who, who, who?

SPEAKER_02 41:44

Who is she?

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Yeah, like we can't.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

But also now our coworkers have started to take notice that this man is looking in, playing his game of cat and mouse with us.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Yes. Um stay tuned.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Yes. That's a developing story.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

That is a developing story.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

If my husband doesn't show up the hair in his Jeep and plow him down. And absolutely put the gladiator to the max.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Exactly. Full force, pedal to the mountain. Exactly. Um well I don't know what else I had on my list, but I feel like I touched upon most of it.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

Uh-huh. Do you feel like the summer's flying by? Can you believe it's already like 4th of July?

SPEAKER_01 42:32

No. I can't.

SPEAKER_02 42:35

Low key so excited though.

unknown 42:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

That it's flying by.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

I can't wait for September.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

I mean, same. But also. I'm the type of bitch that's like, I can't, I don't like wishing time away. You know, I'm always like in the wintertime.

SPEAKER_02 42:54

Poetic. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

But also, like, because part of me is like, in the wintertime, I'm like, oh my god, can it just be fucking like May? True. We're never satisfied.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

We're always wishing for the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Yes. But then I'm like, oh my god, like it's summer already. Like, how did that happen? Like, I just like I blinked and it flew. And then it's the same thing with summer. Like, I'm more of a summer baby. I love summertime. I love being warm. I am not a winter hoe. Sorry, not a snow bunny. So therefore, I love summer. I just don't love the seasonal um influx of people in the summer.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Well, and I think that's the thing. It's like completely ruined it for me. Yeah. Like I days off. I don't even want to roam the cabin. I don't want to go do anything.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere because the traffic is horrendous.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

Traffic's horrendous. People are rude as shit. I'm not trying to stand in line to go to a restaurant to get an overpriced burger or like I don't I don't want to. Do those things. Exactly. I don't find enjoyment.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

I'm hot and sweaty. I don't want to be in a packed bar. I don't want to go to a packed beach.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Like it's just not even last night.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Matt and I went for a walk on the canal and then to get an ice cream after. Honey, I'm fat and out of breath. I want to be in peace. I don't want to be walking past people as my titties are shaking, trying to get in a two-mile workout so I can tell myself I deserve an ice cream cone. Correct. And I have a million people. Oh, that reminds me the other day we went for another walk down at the canal. And this man with a child walked down the entire bike path behind us with a fucking dodgeball bouncing it.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

The entire oh, that like eye drink sound.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Oh my head was throbbing. I think I I think I said to Matt a million times, I'm going to take that dodgeball and shove it so far up his ass he's not even gonna know what to do. Like the thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. I was going crazy. And the faster I walked, the faster he walked.

SPEAKER_03 45:16

And I was like, he knew it was off.

SPEAKER_02 45:19

Like, so again, fan of the implex of people. I just want to like roam the cabin alone and do the things that I want to do.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

Yeah. Correct.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Can I get it? Take a left turn, perhaps.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

The simple things.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

The simple things that everyone else takes for granted. And I'm so if you say I'm in Cape Cod.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Oh, don't get me motherfucking.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

I'm in Cape Cod. Where are you at? Bitch! You're in the gutter because you are stupid. You are on.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

On. You are not inside of a place. You are not inside of an island.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Sorry. Like man-made or not, we're an island and you're on it. Like, whoa.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

I forgot to tell you, at my other place of employment part-time in the summer, um, I went to um I went to cash out this young group of men. They asked me if we had like batteries and low embedded.

SPEAKER_02 46:30

Are they vibrators?

SPEAKER_01 46:31

You know, I thought.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Brads and Chads.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

No, but they whip out a vlogging camera. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

Oh, so they're us. Well we are them.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

Well, it was a it was like three Brads and Chads.

SPEAKER_02 46:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

Yeah. And well, I guess, I mean, you're being mistaken for Chad, but um Listen to the previous episode. Um, but he puts his little batteries that he just bought in his camera and he goes, What's up, you guys? We are in Cape Cod for the weekend. And I was like, I wanted so badly to cut his little fucking vlog and be like, um, it's actually on. But I didn't want to ruin his video. I just can't. I can't.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

Um, Matt, would you do me a favor? Would you hand me my bag? No. The other one. You inspired me.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

Oh. I did.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

You did. So I had to go on a little field trip.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

She's vintage.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

Oh, I love this for you.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

Some disposable cameras because, you know, we're trying to tap back into trying to be retro. Yes, very retro.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Which is kind of sickening that it that is considered retro now.

SPEAKER_02 47:55

I just remember growing up as a kid coming to visit my grandmother for the summer and her having nine million of these. And they wonder why I turned out gay. Yeah. I was pranced around like a show pony. Like then smile, smile, say cheese, posture, stand, stand, walk. And I every command.

SPEAKER_01 48:18

Yeah, I mean you were doing it. You were threatening your shit. Am I doing great?

SPEAKER_02 48:22

Tell me I'm doing great, sweetie. Like, what's my outfit? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I was doing motherfucking outfit of the days before that was a thing. Like, we should just hit the archives with Jackie, and we have the photo albums. Like every outfit. She was like, okay, now pose. Pose by the plant. Okay, stand on the stairs.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Can you hit us with a little whimsical little hand on the 10? Yep, clavical. It's giving life touch.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Yeah. Honestly. Jackie thought she was a photographer. She thought she was clever. Honestly, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Um I just want to share that. Well, I love that, and I can't wait to be in your photos.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

I can't wait.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Period. Anything else?

SPEAKER_02 49:15

No, I think that's it. Who knows? Maybe we'll record next week, or maybe we'll take another week. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 49:21

We're in the business of uh keeping it spicy around here, so keeping you on your toes.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

But it is motherfucking 4th of July. Make good decisions.

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

Do safe.

SPEAKER_02 49:32

Don't drink and drive, call an Uber. Yes. And please. No knit sweaters with a fucking American flag on it. That's not original. Okay? You're not doing anything cute. Some cutoff shorts, a banty, and a pair of bands, please. Okay? Or even better. Gets a class prepared.

SPEAKER_01 49:51

Get sexy with it. Put a fucking bandana around yo yiddies and get out there.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Yes. Eat some watermelon and free the titties. That's right. Yes. On that note, happy fourth, babes.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

See you next Tuesday, maybe.