Therapists in Times of Crisis

The Clinical Tea Podcast's first episode explores the impact of COVID-19 and world crises on therapists and the strategies they use to navigate uncertain times. The conversation delves into the challenges of managing information overload, setting boundaries, and prioritizing energy. It also emphasizes the importance of self-care, mindfulness, and finding humor in difficult situations. The episode concludes with a focus on building resilience and managing emotions.

Takeaways

• Adapting to the new normal as a therapist
• Practicing self-care and setting boundaries

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Clinical Tea Podcast
• 09:45 Adapting to the New Normal
• 14:53 Managing Information Overload
• 21:08 Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Energy
• 30:16 Connecting with Others and Finding Humor
• 35:22 Parenting and Navigating Uncertain Times
• 40:26 Basic Human Needs and Self-Care
• 47:10 Building Resilience and Managing Emotions

Transcript

Heather: X amount of people sat in that same seat that you did today talking about the same things. And I think that in a climate where we feel polarized to hear that other people are experiencing some of the same things that we're experiencing, we may not know who those people are, but just knowing that other people are, there's a sense of maybe safety or security or ⁓ it absolves us of that loneliness. Like, I'm not the only one that is thinking this or I'm not the only one that's experiencing this. to the clinical tea podcast, your monthly cup of news, pop culture and mental health through a clinical lens with your hosts, Chelsea McCarty and Heather McPaul, licensed professional counselors. Grab your mug and settle in. It's time for the tea. So this is our first episode of the clinical tea podcast. I'm really excited. Every. episode, we're going to be choosing a different topic to talk about everything from the news to pop culture to things going on in the world and all through a clinical lens. So I'm really excited. And I know today that you picked the topic. So introduce us to today's topic. did. So today's topic is therapists in crisis, meaning that As therapists, we are also human and we experience things going on in the world or things outside of ourselves that our clients are also experiencing as well. And when Heather and I were talking about our first topic of our podcast, this one was exciting for us because it's a way to get to know us. But also we talked about how the two of us have kind of come up as therapists on the same track. And over the past like six years, there's been a lot of things that have happened in our country and globally that have affected us as people and affect us as therapists. So we thought it was kind of a cool way to talk about how we support the people that we're working with, also managing some of our own feelings and experiences of these things. ⁓ One of the ones we talked about when we were planning our episode was COVID-19 and 2020. So Heather, I'm curious, you know, when we started hearing about COVID-19 in March of 2020, what did your clinical life look like? And maybe even a little bit your personal life, if you can remember back. Yeah. I just opened my practice about three months before. And I remember scrambling to like, Text or email people like hey, I can't see you today ⁓ But I remember everybody in the beginning sort of thinking ⁓ this is gonna last like two weeks and we'll be fine and and then that turned into months and There was initially I think a little relief to be able to like stay home because you can like I think people and clinicians being able to just be in their PJs, at least from the waist down was like really nice. Yeah. And I liked the idea that we could all still connect. so, you know, from a business perspective, I was good. I never lost any. mean, a few people were like, no, I'm not going to do that. Let me know when it's over. But for the most part, it kept going on, but As time went on, it got more difficult because I felt like I didn't have a good way to transition from being a therapist into, okay, I'm walking out the door and now I'm in my own life dealing with the same things everybody else is talking about. So that was weird. It was weird. And time, I feel like for everyone didn't really make sense anymore. You know? No, totally. And I can remember, I can remember that day so vividly, like in my mind, it's in green, like March 13th, 2020. And I remember I was at, you know, my previous job where I was a director and I had a small caseload of clients. I was four months pregnant. So I was just starting to like tell people and really like experience that. And I actually had a trip planned that weekend. And to your point about like thinking that it was going to blow over in two weeks, I was sitting there more disappointed that I couldn't go on the trip I had planned. And then as it unfolded and time went on, as you said, became, there were elements of it that allowed life to slow down, but there were elements of it where for me, was like, whoa, this is the first time in my career that I'm just feeling so much of the weight of what people are carrying. because I too was feeling it, right? Like so much of like what we work with with our clients, like we can somewhat separate, even if we've had some of the same experiences. It's different when you're looking at your schedule for the day and you know this person is bringing in this and this person is bringing in that. But when you're sitting in the therapist chair for six, seven, eight hours and hearing the same thing over and over again, in addition to experiencing it yourself, like I felt a lot of like, yeah, I hear you. It was a very different experience. Yeah. As a therapist. Because it gets hard, even now in the, the, in the state of, ⁓ current events, like it, it's almost like, yeah, man, I don't know what to tell you. Me too. Exactly. Exactly. But I think there's so much, ⁓ benefit to that for people, right? And you know, this might be ⁓ something to talk about for another podcast episode, but ⁓ the lived experience is so important to be like, yeah, we're all in this together and this is how we support each other. And, and I think, you know, I think it helped for therapists to be transparent or authentic in that, at that time or during this time, because I think One of the things I'd like to come out of this podcast is that we humanize therapists a bit more. Like we're not above any of these stressors, right? So yes, I was doing the things that everybody else was doing, right? Doom scrolling and binge watching and all of those things that we deem unhealthy. ⁓ But it helped give us a break from all of the crisis or the world, unless that's what you were doom scrolling. But also, we also were trying our best to do the things that we know we're supposed to do, like regulating our systems through, you know, exercise or body movement. And ⁓ I used to have ⁓ watching parties, remember that? Like people were doing that. Yes, yes. Like your computer. Yeah, my friends and I had an app, it was called Hangouts, and we would all get on and play games and yeah. So there was that. as you said, like that self care and trying to find like that sense of community and connectedness when we couldn't physically be together. Yeah. And it didn't, it wasn't the, it wasn't a, what's the word? It wasn't gonna fill that natural need in us the way being in person does. but it was something so we didn't feel so disconnected because, we're staring at the same four walls. ⁓ But it also was really cool because you got to see people like take up new hobbies, like DIY projects, like gardening and stuff. And I definitely tried to do some of that stuff as well. I think one of the, you know, and this might sound super cheesy, but sometimes it's the cheesy stuff that helps us through. Like I returned to bird watching and I feel like that's how I did not lose my mind. Like connecting with the natural world. You know, we were so far removed because of technology and just our busy existence on this planet that we forget that we're part of this bigger ecosystem, you know. And to return back to those sort of like our primitive roots, think was really helpful. Yeah. Yeah. It forced us, at least in the beginning, right? It forced us to slow down. And for those of us that may feel guilty to do some of those things, or it's like a bonus to be able to do some of those things, it provided us the space to connect to those things. And permission. And like you said, exploring new ways of doing things. Like I know for me, became, there were moments of it that became really cool because as I said, I was pregnant, my husband and I were home together. So was like we were living in this like little bubble bliss and could kind of ignore some of what was going on. And then eventually it wasn't fun anymore. ⁓ yeah, in the beginning it was. I'm curious for you, Heather, when it's. turn to, okay, this is not just two weeks of doing things. This is now like our new normal, right? How did that affect you and how did that affect you as a therapist? It got really heavy, I feel like. ⁓ As we say in the military, like morale took a hit, like morale became low. I started getting really tired and burnt out pretty easily because right again, not enough transition. Same thing day in and day out. You don't know what to tell people at this point. I mean, we're all just surviving really it. And one of the things I remember telling people is like, you know, The type of therapy I do is internal family system. So we talk about all these different parts in our system. And I remember telling people, this is what your anxious parts are for. This is it. This is what we've been training for. You know what mean? So if you're on high alert, like, yeah, yeah. But being in survival mode for a really long time is really hard on the system. And I don't think anybody was like totally OK. For some people, I think not having to deal with people was a relief. but being restricted from what we could do was stressful and not knowing when it was ever going to end. The unknown is always a huge trigger for people and even therapists, right? Because we like a routine. like a schedule. Well, we like to know what's coming and, ⁓ you know, I felt like I was doing so much work and it didn't feel like there was any satisfaction to it at all because everybody's in this limbo space, you know? So it didn't feel like, and not that therapists get this all the time, but every now and then you get this moment where somebody has a breakthrough or progress or, you know, something shifts and you're like, yes, that's what we do this for, you know? And during the pandemic, that was not happening for anybody, which is a bummer. Like I said, you know, Typically, even if we see the same types of issues, right, or the same population, everybody's experience is slightly different. So to your point, like being a therapist, like, yes, like, I walk out of that room some days and I'm like, what the hell did I even do today? Did I even help somebody? And I walk out of that room sometimes with such a high, but our clients are typically all experiencing slightly different issues or ⁓ different paces in the process, right? So for those that we feel like, we're not really getting there yet. It balances with those that are having success. So in a time like that, was like we weren't feeling that. Whatever symptoms you had before that started, that got worse. You know what mean? Yeah. So if you had OCD type symptoms, if you had anxiety, if you had depression, a lot of times it got exacerbated by the fact that number one, we're isolated. Two, we don't know what's going on. Three, there You know, nowadays there's so much social media presence that is so ⁓ exaggerated for clicks and like, what's the word? ⁓ It's almost hysterical. That's not the word I want, but like, it's made to be bigger and more ⁓ exaggerated so that you, you're like, ⁓ man, I gotta know what the hell's going on. And I think that alone puts so much more anxiety in people. ⁓ And then, you know, this is where we get obsessed with reading all this stuff and absorbing all this content, which, and this is a good place to bring this conversation to, you know, as therapists, have to figure out and teach people how to find that balance between being informed and being inundated. because that's not good for your nervous system. You know, and I work with veterans and first responders. So what happens right now during this administration and like the war that's going on, that's coming up all the time. I gotta know what that stuff is because they're gonna talk about that. And I don't wanna not know what's going on, but I also can't be glued to it ⁓ because there was also so much misinformation out there, which is heightening everybody's. You know, anxiety. Anxiety. Yeah. So how I'm so glad you brought that up because I wanted to kind of like fast forward to, you know, current events. I know when we were planning for this, like you and I were talking and you and I are at such opposite ends of the spectrum with like the knowledge piece, right? Where you I remember you saying like, Chelsea, I work with vets. Like I got to know what's going on and be prepared for the room. And I was like, ⁓ ignorance is bliss. Like I really should know what's going on more. So I'm curious how you manage that for yourself and also how you manage that in the room as a therapist. It's hard. It's hard. mean, especially ⁓ last night when I think everybody was wondering, are we going to decimate this country or not? There was a deadline. think I was doom scrolling and refreshing to see, this going to happen? Is it not? And it's stressful. But I think the thing about it is to catch yourself when you're in that spiral and then try to transition to something else. So I really like teaching people and trying to hold on to the idea that like we deal with this the same way we deal with grief. Right. I tell people like you're in your grief but you can't be inundated with your grief 24 7. That would be way too much. You would just collapse. Right. So We sit in the shit, as I say, and then we try to find something else to get a breather. And then we come back and we sit in the shit and then we do something else to get a breather from that. And it's not distracting yourself, it's just taking a breather because it's so heavy. And so I try to think about that, you know, okay, I need to mentally realize what I'm doing, put the phone away. I've started to try to read ⁓ for pleasure. which as a therapist is a hard thing to do because I feel like I'm not alone when I say that there's a stack of books on my nightstand and they're all work related. And I never finished any of them. But I really, I went through my husband's library there and chose something that was like fantastical just to have something interesting and a healthy escape, because there are healthy escapes too. And trying to balance it out with that also. Body movement has been helpful for me. I actually started running during the pandemic and I think that was really helpful to me because it helps to ⁓ sort of filter through and process information and also just kind of like regulate your hormones and nervous system. So that's been helpful too, but I'm not immune to getting sucked into the media bullshit. It's hard. I mean, they know. They just, that's their whole job. Well, and again, like we are human. So the things that our clients are bringing to session, we are not immune to, and we are not like this, you know, higher level human. Like we're dealing with our own stuff too. We're managing our own stuff too. So I'm so glad that you say that and you're talking about how you're trying to manage it. And the grief is such a great example because, you know, Grief doesn't go away. And I know that you know this, like you are a grief expert. Like grief doesn't go away. Somebody once said, like, you kind of grow around the grief. And that's the example I use with my clients, right? Like it doesn't, you don't get over it. It doesn't go away. It's just, kind of like learn to orient your life with this piece. And I think that that's a great example to use when we're on ourselves and with our clients about these things that may be going on that are so much bigger than us and so... Outside of our immediate control but affect us so deeply Absolutely. Yeah, because you have to build a life around it. You can't stop living Exactly. You can't stop living. Mm-hmm And you don't realize how much time you spend down the rabbit hole with this stuff sometimes so You know, we do our best to realize what we're you know, have some situational awareness, you know and and awareness of what we're doing and how our nervous system is taking that in. At the same token as a therapist, like, I think I had to take a hard look at my caseload too and start thinking about, you know, are certain people making progress? Have we been hitting a roadblock for the last couple of years? If so, like this is too hard right now. You know what mean? So like, I think this person needs to go and see somebody else who might be able to move that marker a little farther down the road. But me putting so much energy into something that has like hit ⁓ a roadblock is just too hard right now. You know, I think so. I think like sometimes when heavy stuff happens, it really helps us just like in grief to reprioritize our lives, our energy. You know, I realized that, you know, I have a finite amount of energy every day. And I think one of the biggest things I try to help people understand is the capacity you had before COVID is not the same capacity you're gonna have anymore. It's just not, the world is different. And... The same goes for right now. The capacity you had before maybe conflicts with Iran or any of these things. It's not the same capacity you're gonna have now. So we have to be mindful of that and not push ourselves into situations where you're exerting energy you don't have or you're burning out extremely fast. That's not serving anybody. And I think it's a great example for our clients when so so you just said that right and I'm thinking like somebody may be like wow this you know a therapist like telling a client that you know the things that I'm doing like aren't helping let's try something else like for some people I think the idea of therapy like that that's wild right like that you stop going to therapy when you know you feel like you you've healed or you you have the skills right but the idea of us initiating that so I want to like kind of name that first, but I think that we are models for our clients, right? So what you're saying about like, I only have a finite amount of energy in a day and I need to use that energy in the best way possible. I think by doing those things and prioritizing our energy, our own mental health is a great example for our clients. Yeah. And when you were saying that, I was thinking there was a point in time where ⁓ my husband was like really sick and I was doing a lot of like the parenting, like it was just the way that it was. And I remember talking to my own therapist about it and she's like, well, why don't you just like reduce your caseload for a little bit? And I said, I can't do that. And she said, well, why can't you do that? And I said, and just her saying, why can't you do that? was like, ⁓ wait, I can. And then when I started having those conversations and talking to my clients about that, they, and there was a little bit of. you know, self-disclosure and that, like, hey, I have this thing going on in my life right now. And they were so understanding to that. And I was like, you know what? Like, this is a great example for them of the things that we're talking about in the room, right? Like, if I'm not practicing or trying to practice what we're talking about in the room, you know, what good is that? Right. It doesn't always come off like that. I've definitely had people be like, you're abandoning me. And I'm like, no. This is in both of our interests. Like this is so you can continue to make progress because I've reached the end of my skill set for you. And also I need ⁓ to not be in the stuckness with you, you know? But yeah, and sometimes it's not personal. It's never personal. But I think people have a hard time with that because it is an intimate relationship and people do get attached. ⁓ But you know, I always tell people the therapist you start with isn't always the one that's gonna get you the whole way, you know? Because that, we're all different. All of us have different skills, so. But I think, you know, really getting to know that, you know, how your nervous system, like, I wanna, I don't want the Sunday scaries. I love my job. You know what mean? I don't wanna look at my caseload and be like, ⁓ God, this feels like so much to do today. ⁓ So I feel like, you know, really taking an honest look about what our capacity is and trying to figure out where the sweet spot is during a time that feels especially heavy is important. And I would urge anybody to do that. I mean, we're sort of a privileged, you could say that, And then we can make those decisions, although that comes at a cost too, like financially. But yeah, I think it's really about listening to the messages in your body and your energy level and trying to have boundaries with exposure to different things. Because again, like, I mean, I am a huge advocate for therapists being in therapy. I think the best therapists have therapists. If you think your shit doesn't stink, you're not breathing in deep enough. ⁓ So, because who helps the helpers, right? We need our own support and that's community for us, I think a lot. So, you know, I think we need to be able to put stuff in the same way. you know, where we had to say this, like we need to be able to share our own heaviness with someone who can handle it. ⁓ We need to find balance with all of the things. And sometimes it's not going to happen. Sometimes it's not. because we're human and because sometimes it's easier to couch rot, as the kids say these days, than actually be proactive, but we can't get stuck there. I don't know where I was going with that. We were talking about like taking care of ourselves through these challenging times when we don't have as much capacity or energy for that. And one of the things that I say and I tried to also practice in my life is like, go there, don't stay there, right? Couch rot for a little while, but we can't make that be the new normal, right? Like you can be angry, sad, frustrated, feel those emotions, experience them, but don't allow yourself to stay there. I think that's the difference. I think it's about honoring it and then caring for it. You know, like there's a part of me that wants to couch rot. I'm going to allow that some space and be curious about what does it actually need? You know, maybe it needs to outside. You know, yeah, what? Yeah. And sometimes that's going to be easier said than done. You know, like sometimes we didn't get enough sleep last night. So we're like, fuck it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing anything. I'm just going to eat shitty and whatever. OK. Like I actually validate those things for my clients. Like, OK, so what? That doesn't mean you're not on the path to healing. Like, it's not that black and white. You're not supposed to be like, I eat healthy, I sleep great, like I do all the skills and I'm done, I'm amazing now. Like that's not, it's not about I never feel anything bad. It's about I feel things bad and I get through it. Like I have the capacity to handle it because you're always going to have shit happen around you, for you, to you. And it's about our capacity to meet that. and and do what we have to do but I think there's a misconception about therapy is like the goal that there's an actual finishing line yeah and that you're like I'm good now you know and maybe in the sense that like you have the tools but there's going to be moments where you're not going to use them and that's okay too exactly there Therapists are a specialist, right? So just like if you have a cardiac issue or you have, I'll just use that as an example, you're always gonna have a cardiologist. It doesn't mean that you're always working with that person because you may be managing those issues well, but that person is always part of your journey, right? And that's what I think about. therapy. actually say I think everybody should have a therapist like everybody has a primary care physician like yeah, maybe maybe you're not working with that person like continuously all the time. Yeah, because insurance would not like that. I know. But that person is there right like that's an established relationship that yeah, you pick up a trust down a trusting relationship. Yeah. Yeah, I it's and but also It's hard to find good help. You know, just like a good hairdresser, it's hard to find a therapist that actually works for you. ⁓ And most people don't understand that we're all different. We all do a different type of therapy. all, on top of the whole personality thing, you know, we all have different personality, but we all operate in it from a different therapeutic modality. ⁓ We're not like a one size fit all. not a, everybody's the same thing. So it's important to find somebody you can trust that actually fits for you and like you feel good about. And you know, a lot of people feel bad. They're like, I'm not really getting anything out of it, but I feel bad leaving. Don't feel bad. Look, I don't take that personally. In fact, every intake I have, I say to them, listen, you might go home and you might be like, for me. That's fine. I don't take that personally. I would rather you tell me I'm not the right fit and I will help you find someone else. Like, I just want you to have that support because I know what it means for me and having therapy for me has been... priceless For not only just my personal growth, but for just support during these kind of times, you know To have somebody say I mean, yeah, I have my husband right but like he has a different perspective about some of these things He doesn't understand what it's like to sit in it the way that therapists do So I need somebody who's like yeah, man me too, you know, absolutely and When you were saying that, made me think, you know, we both have group practices, right? And at my practice, we have ⁓ group supervision. And there was one therapist that was talking about this, right? Like we were talking about some of these things that are going on that are so much bigger than us, but still affect us. And he was saying like, yeah, one day last week, every person that sat on my couch, you know, had a similar experience. or was feeling some of these things. And one of the things that he said, and I was like, this is brilliant, like a reminder for us hour after hour, but also for our clients, he said, you know what? X amount of people sat in that same seat that you did today talking about the same things. And I think that in a climate where we feel polarized to hear that other people. are experiencing some of the same things that we're experiencing. We may not know who those people are, but just knowing that other people are, there's a sense of maybe safety or security or ⁓ it absolves us of that loneliness. Like, ⁓ I'm not the only one that is thinking this or I'm not the only one that's experiencing this. Yeah, I think the most powerful words in the world are me too. On top of that, one of the things that I think that I started paying attention to more was the use of humor and laughter ⁓ because the world can be so serious. And not to take away from that, but just to, again, have a breather from it. Although the military and first responder population have a reputation for having dark humor to cope with the heavy situations that they find themselves in. And I've been embracing that with the people that I work with. We're making jokes and although dark, it's funny to find a therapist you can actually do that with because I think it would make many clutch their pearls. ⁓ finding that as a good way to cope together, you know, ⁓ in the same sort of me too kind of way has been really helpful. So I've been looking at that and then, or you're engaging with that and then like trying to find stuff outside of the job that makes me laugh. You know, it's such an important thing because I think that laughter moves stale energy out of the body. It helps us shift into a different place. And I think it's underrated. And obviously it may be hard to laugh during really awful times, but You know, I think about watching shows that always make me laugh or videos or, know, ⁓ you know, my husband's funny as hell. So he always knows how to crack a joke in moments where, you know, he can tell that I'm like anxious or down and it just breaks everything right away. And so ⁓ if people can connect to that, that's really helpful, too, I think. you find or are you finding that humor is an effective tool with some of your clients that aren't of that population? ⁓ yeah. I mean, I think a lot of my civilian clients would agree that like, I have a client who tells me all the time that I should record my sessions with her because I'm fucking hilarious. I do really like to bring a sense of humor into the session at the appropriate moments, right? I'm not trying to dismiss or avoid anybody's feelings. It sort of aligns with what is going on in the room at the time. But I think there's some importance in and in laughing at our own shit, you know, like having some humility in it and you know, not being so serious about things that aren't serious, finding a way to put the seriousness where it actually, you know, because some people like their reactions don't necessarily fit the situation or ⁓ you know, I'm the kind of therapist that calls people on their bullshit so I try to find either a compassionate or funny way to do that. And it does, it lights them up in this like, oh, you're right kind of way. But just to have some relief because we're carrying around all of this heaviness, all of this anxiety. like, again, you can't sit in that shit 24 seven, you need to breathe in some way. And sometimes laughter is a great way to, to do that. Yeah. Yeah. So The people that I work with are vastly different than the people that you work with, right? So as you're talking, I'm thinking about how do we handle that? Excuse me, how am I handling that with clients? How are we handling that in sessions? And a majority of the people that I see are women raising children or women of childbearing age. And a lot of the conversations are about like... the fears of raising children in a world that can be like unsettling or a world that's changing around themes of acceptance, around themes of war time. I have some clients that I work with that are even making different family plans because of the state of the world. So it's just interesting to see that like. even with that, right? Like you are working with people who have been affected in some way, or form ⁓ by wartime and are now maybe even reactivated by what's going on. And then I'm working with people that are like, how do I raise children or how do I raise kind, loving people in a world that may not be kind and loving to them? I always make the joke with the parents that sit on my couch that you're going to fuck up your kids no matter what, because you're not going to be perfect at this. And my God, I the same thing. I'm like, they're all going to it's true. They're all going to end up on the couch because of us. It's just like, what's the severity of it? Yeah, exactly. Right. And there's nothing we can do about the outside world except arm them with how to regulate their nervous system, how to balance it all as best we can. There's no perfection here. There's never going to be. and to try to see the world through a kinder lens because everything we see all the time is just other people suffering for whatever their traumas are, whatever their experiences are. And you can feel for people, but you don't have to have it near you. You know, can still have boundaries with it. But, but yeah, so I, it, is interesting how different the populations are, but I think there's still room for all of that, you know? Exactly. And like, again, this idea that like, here's this big, bigger than us thing. And I say that in the sense of like, prior to 2020, we experienced a lot with our clients of their own, like, their own things, right? Like I had this in my childhood, I had this experience, right? I'm struggling with this, but now we have this thing that we are all affected by. And then to see how it's filtered through experiences, experiences that we're having right now of the choices we're making in our life. But the bottom line is we're all feeling it. We're all feeling it for different reasons. We have different fears, different concerns. And I love that you said that about focusing on kind of what you can. Because that's what we talk about too. I'm thinking with a lot of my clients, again, that have children, the idea of like, here's something you do have some level of control over, right? Like you have some level of control over like what your family values are, what you wanna highlight as you're raising this child. And so you are then responsible for putting into the world like a kind accepting human if that's what you want. And that makes a big impact too. know, like maybe it doesn't seem like that, like this one person you're putting out into the world is this way. But if again, this idea that multiple people may be... thinking and feeling the same things, all operating towards that, like that makes change. And I was talking to another client about change and similar idea, not with children, but in the sense of their work. Like if you focus on, if you focus your attention on making impact with like this one group or this one way, you're making an impact. And it makes me think about my previous... work was a lot in like substance use and you know policy change and programs and things like that. And we would always say that these like social and cultural changes is like moving a beach one grain of sand at a time. So what you're doing does have an impact, but it's hard to see just your space having some kind of impact. Yeah. So I think community could be really helpful for people in times like this to feel like you're supported by other like-minded people, but like For me, I think because I people for a living, it can be overstimulating to be around people. so sometimes for people like that, I try to tell them like, go back to the basics, right? Like basic needs need to be met. And sometimes that's the best we can do. you know, sleep, nutrition, hydration, ⁓ body movement, really putting our energy into focusing on those things because those things help us tolerate. more. ⁓ But we can't forget them in times like this. So I'm curious about how maybe you focus on on those things personally. Yeah, I mean, I agree with that, that when we are in a situation that is bigger than us, or we feel like we don't, there's not a lot that we can do to change the situation. these back to basics, these basic human needs are an area where we do have some level of control, right? So I think it helps our mind feel like we're doing something. And I think it also helps us manage the stress physiologically in our body as well. So I agree. And sometimes I talk to clients about, just start somewhere small. If this week the focus is just on hydration, if this week the focus is just on moving your body, we don't need to set these rigid goals for ourselves. Let's just move into it. So those are things that I practice myself and notice when I am not doing those things more regularly. I notice a difference physically and mentally for me. Another thing that I started doing a couple months ago was going to Reiki. So I've always been very curious about Reiki. And for those that don't know, it's about energy healing and that it's moving energy that is stuck within your body. to release some of tension, anxiety, stress, etc. ⁓ So a couple friends were going, I was like, sure, I'll check it out. I've always been interested in this. And I found that I really like it, and it's really effective for me. And the first like one or two times, I was curious when the practitioner said, your heart is very heavy. Like I had to do a lot of work on your heart, your heart is very heavy. And that stuck with me, and I started to try to understand why that was, and then it clicked for me. I am probably absorbing so much more of the energy of my clients because things are heavier now. And so that was a sign for me that, okay, I need to up my own self care. So this is something that I try to do more regularly now because I really do feel a lightness for a little while after I go. Yeah, I struggle with the word self care because I feel like it became such a pop. culture term. Yeah. And people think it means like bubble baths and shit like that. can. can. Absolutely. I love a good warm bath, but like, I think it could be so much more ⁓ simple to just, you know, I love the Buddha saying wherever you go, be all there. ⁓ That, you know, just sort of doing one thing and being present with your mind. And I think that helps that mind, body, spirit thing ⁓ to just be able to take care of ourselves. Like, we get so stressed out sometimes and so in the chaos that we forget. And I think that's ⁓ true for health care professionals. Absolutely. true for parents. think it's true for so many roles that we play in our lives that we self-sacrifice and pay attention to everything else and forget ourselves. But I think if anything, self-care to me is about hitting those basic needs in whatever way your nervous system needs it to be. Like, I need a lot of warmth. So I want to be a solar panel outside, like I need to be outside. I think nature has a great way. think nature is probably the best therapist there is, you know, to just spend time in that. ⁓ Sometimes it is a bath. Sometimes it's a warm blanket. Sometimes it's puppy cuddles that give me oxytocin, you know, like ⁓ reduce stress, ⁓ sound bathing ⁓ in the forest or listening to birds or like it could be so simple and it doesn't have to take a lot of time. Exactly. And we get wrapped up in that. think. we get wrapped up in this idea, then it's another task or even one of the things I practice in my own life, right? And talk about in the room is consistency. We're not looking for perfection. Like, you you don't move your body today, okay, but that doesn't mean you're at square one. It's just we noticed that that happened and we move on from it. And I think it's about being, use the word mindful and like setting an intention, right? My intention is to... focus on this, focus on hydration, focus on improving my sleep, focus on being present where I am. And it makes me think of in AA, there's an acronym HULT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. And it's again, something that I use in my everyday life. Like when I'm feeling myself getting a little itchy, I'm like, all right, this is my checkpoint. Like what is going on? What am I not getting that I need right now? Yeah, I think it's really about Listening to the internal messages. I there's a really amazing man. His name is Tommy ribs that call him he's a ⁓ he was a long-distance runner professional athlete he's an iFit trainer and one of these and he's talking about like Physical pain, but I think it also very much applies to emotional pain ⁓ He says pain whispers then it talks and then it screams If we wait till it's screaming, it's too late. Damage is done, right? We really want to listen to the whispers inside of, is this hunger or is it boredom? it, you know, ⁓ like, what do I actually need? So often in our culture, we're grabbing onto things that help numb us out, right? We binge snack, we doom scroll, we drink alcohol. Without ever thinking, what is it that I'm actually in need of right now? What is this telling me? Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's so important to like say, I need blank before you go and grab that thing. I need blank right now. And you can't fill it in with the thing you want to do, like the scrolling or the eating or whatever it is and really take time to think about it. I think it gives you more of an awareness of where you're at, you know, because so many times we go through the day and not even realize like we're irritable or noticing these things. Yeah, and I think even that in itself like in in this idea of consistency and What's within my control and you know things that aren't too difficult to do that in itself is a way of self-care Right like setting an intention of I'm gonna start paying attention to what my body's telling me Before I impulse. Mm-hmm. Yeah when you think of it. Yes, and I think because We're social beings and because we're so connected ⁓ Our nervous systems play off of each other You know, so you might not they somebody could not even have to say a word, but they're given a vibe Yeah, now we're feeling like You know, it's important to realize these things and not take on other people's emotions And again the more we take care of ourselves the more tolerance the more that window of tolerance opens up so we can handle the news or whatever fuckery is going on at the time. Yeah, whatever it is that's weighing on us. It's like a tank. You're building up the tank or the account to better manage what it is that's coming at you. I like that, the tank. I usually use a car. Having a human body is like having a car. You have to monitor all the systems. Do I need gas? Do I need an oil change? ⁓ Am I going okay speed? limit, you know, and it's, it's maintenance. You know, ⁓ but unless you're putting gas in the tank, you're not going to get very far. Yeah. Yeah. So it's really, I think the, the moral of the story is that we put gas in our tanks in many different ways. What's going to work for you isn't going to work for me necessarily. And we have to figure out what that is so we can get through whatever's going on. You know, because we have the macro level, is our culture, our world. We have the micro level, which is our families, our own bullshit, own little world. Yeah. And everything in between. It's a lot. And as therapists, like especially, I think we have to make sure we don't get consumed by that because, you know, we're listening to it all. We're experiencing it all. You know, and there's not necessarily a break. Yeah. We have to make the break. Exactly. And this is how we do it, right? In these small ways and then in these larger ways that are less frequent. Yeah. Yeah. This was a good conversation, I think, to help people think about what might fill their gas tank and, yeah, what their nervous system needs at times like this. So thanks for bringing this topic. Yeah, thanks for ⁓ being part of it and sharing some of your like insight and what you do because You said like what works for one may not work for another. So here's a starting point Yeah, those that are listening and just a curiosity, you know and thanks to all our viewers for checking us out and ⁓ listening to the tea and ⁓ If you like what you saw and hear, then subscribe and follow or whatever you do on here. And ⁓ we'll see you next time. See you next session.