S1E3 Happiness vs Pleasure

Failing to plan equates to planning to fail. Knowing the difference between happiness and pleasure will help us plan accordingly, as to which one is missing in our lives and which deserves more attention.
At times, we envy the life of others since they have more pleasure in their life, while in fact, that doesn't represent their level of happiness. 
While pleasure can increase your level of happiness over time, if obtained wrongly it can ruin your level of happiness as well.
It's important to choose the words in which we use correctly, eg. if you are frustrated do not say "I am angry", and if you are having fun it is different than being happy.
Are your friends the ones who add pleasure or happiness to your life, party friends or friends in need? and what kind of a friend are you?
Treating yourself with stuff or food can have a negative long term effect while helping others can be cumbersome at the beginning but rewarding for a long term.

Q: What do you do for pleasure and does it help or ruin your level of happiness?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome to Life Workshop, where we discuss the forgotten basics. This is your most favorite host, Mo. You can call me Mohammed Nazari. Or in the other order. And I have with me the most favorite co-host, Bo. Hello. We called him Bo Beres. I have the consistency.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

If I screw up, I keep it that way. So this subject that we are going to be talking about this episode is about happiness versus pleasure. And you know what's the difference? And you know, basically one reason that they bring this up, I don't want to be philosophical, I'm not into that stuff at all. But the reason I'm bringing it up because if we have a better understanding of this thing, then we can make better choices in life. And I strongly believe, as I have said it before, the way you think decides the way you feel.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

And we're not talking about chemical processes here.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Oh my god, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Let's just get that out of the out of the way. We're not getting talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

No, we talk about very practical stuff. That is why it's the forgotten basics. It's really that we all know. And uh, but anyway, no, we'll just keep it very simple. Well, it is simple. So the reason that they bring this up happiness versus pleasure, you know, is that again, as if we understand the difference, then we know where we want to go. As I have said it before, you know, we normally, or maybe all the time, we have come to this world at uh no choice of our own. But while we are here, most of us, if not all of us, you know, we want to have a good life. But now during this good life, what does that mean? And you know, how do we get there? And then what's the difference between happiness and pleasure? If we understand the difference, then it will help us that um the aim of our life the more correct way. Uh before I go too far, I want to ask you what how do you describe that? Bo, what do you feel about happiness versus pleasure?

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Um I in my thought, you asked me this before, and I had to like really think about it for a second there. Um at first I was like, I don't know. And then I I sat down like okay, I'll think about this. And happiness is kind of normal, like a baseline. I think we we discussed that at one point. Um and pleasure spikes along that along that line, you know, and happiness can't and like that the happiness line can be anything, you know, it's what it's different for every person, right? And and the same thing with those pleasure spikes, right? So it's not gonna be the same for everybody, but it is just happiness is sort of like like a line and pleasures are spikes going spikes going up. And yes, obviously there are spikes going down, right? Yeah, we call those. Like a wave line. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

And normally this is you know how I say it. I say your happiness is the level that you feel when you're all by yourself. If there is nothing specific going on in your life, you're not too happy, you're not too sad, where are you on an average? That has become your level of happiness, and then pleasure is when you get a spike that you know you feel really good, but it goes away. Or oopsies are the other way, that if you get a downward spike, that you feel bad, but again, after some time you become the same level of happiness.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

So, what happens then if you're I'm sorry to break this up here, but what happens you're saying that happiness is when you're by yourself and that's the the the normal. But what if you're sad? Like it's depends how long it lasts. Yeah, no, no. Depression and all that stuff, that that has to be then is there a normal happy sad? Like is there?

SPEAKER_00 4:10

No, good point. This is how it is said. It is that, for example, if you win a lottery ticket or or you end up quadrupedic, you know, after a year, your level of happiness normally comes back to what it was before. So winning the lottery ticket makes you happy for some time. Uh you know, becoming quadrupilegic makes you obviously sad for some time. But your level of happiness comes back to what it was a year ago.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

So are we talking about when you talk about happiness, are you talking about contentment?

SPEAKER_00 4:43

That is one way. Yeah, actually, that is another now. You're jumping the gut.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

That's okay. But yeah, happiness basically is something that if there isn't anything specific going on in your life, you're not necessarily, there is no excitement specifically, or there isn't anything, you know, going wrong, then the level that you feel normally I see that as your level of happiness. But then if there is something going on, it disturbs it, you know, it gets a little bit, you'll become happier, you'll become more sad. But again, it just comes back to what it was. I don't want to get too philosophical about this, you know, it goes too far. Okay. But basically, you know, it is it is yeah, kind of a again, the thing that you're normally are. And as I said, normally this spikes regardless of if it's good or bad. After some time you come back to where you were. Now, the next question that I have for you when you're happy.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

So wait a minute. Going back, and you say you always go back to where you were, then how can you ever change? Oh, can you ever change your situation?

SPEAKER_00 5:44

The level of happiness, you would get that. That's for next episode. Okay, sorry. There are things that you can do to change that. Yes, that will have a long-term effect. The one that you're talking about that to level it, if it's a long-term effect, that you know becomes your level of happiness. But if it's a short-term effect, it's not, it's not considered the happiness, really. Is it pleasure or as it's oopsie, one of the two? Okay. So, if in case generally, as an audience, you see you know, you're you're going through an episode that you know you're not feeling too good for whatever reason, remember it's gonna be all temporary, you're gonna go back to where you were. And don't take it too seriously. And if you're feeling good, just try to hold on to that as long as you can. It's gonna go go away again. You're gonna go back to where you were.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Oh, great.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Yeah, don't hang on to those things too far. But now the next question: when you're happy, what kind of a feeling? You know, how do you describe it? What words do you use if you say that you're happy?

SPEAKER_01 6:41

I have a few words written here, but I don't know, fantastic would be the word, maybe. Um I usually express it by by by hopping.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

You know what? As a foreigner of us has been just, you know, just misled. I thought then you're happy and you know it, you clap your hand.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

No, no, no. You just hop up and down.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Or else if you're trying to psych. I've been so naive all this time. Unless or if you're trying to psych yourself up for doing something you're not really sure about how to do, you jump up and down a bit. You get pumped and you go. Either either either or.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

So when you're happy and you know it, you jump up and down. Yes, you do. Okay. Finally, I got it straight.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

It's just little hops, though. You don't want to get crazy. Oh, yeah. You don't want you don't you don't want to hurt your ankles or anything.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

So, but the words that I have, you know, for when you feel happy, of course, depending on different case scenarios, you there are different ways that you feel normally says that you feel a warmth or a fuzzy feeling or contentment or gratified, grateful.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Gratified is a good warm the warmth and gratified. That that would be that would be, I think that says it more for me.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Yeah, and in a lot of in different cases of it's gonna be a bit different. You feel safe, you feel, you know, um loved, or you have a smile uh, you know, in your heart or maybe on your face, and you feel calm and peaceful. Yeah, like relaxed. Yeah, yeah. So this is the way that I can see, you know, how you feel happy, I would describe it. Of course, by the way, I don't know if there are any studies or you know who who says that, you know, I'm not as but this is the thing that I feel about that. But when there is a pleasure, pleasure, I say, for example, you go to a party, you have a good time, then how do you feel about that? What are the words that you put there?

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Or for example, you buy something, you just you know it's funny because I would say I would say happy. If I'm having pleasure, I'll say, Oh, I'm happy.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

This is exactly where I'm going. This is one reason it kind of throws you off. Yes, this is one reason I exactly brought this up because sometimes we miss uh we use the wrong uh words wrongly, and actually that affects us on the decisions that we make. So because of that, I brought this topic up, and you will see where the value is. I will just go ahead with that one. So when I see pleasure, I see it with laughter, dance, music, being loud, excitement, busy and hyped. Yeah. Normally I just see it that way. But I said these things normally they kind of fade away. It's just for some time. Now, the reason I brought this up because we use the wrong words, and then we make something wrong decision. So it's very important to be accurate with words. And uh there are there I know that there are some psychologists that they they they say that you know if you use the wrong word, you express yourself wrongly, then you feel wrongly too.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Even if you don't understand the word, like if you're using the word in a specific way, the definition of the word, does it really make a difference if you don't know what the definition of the word is in the first place?

SPEAKER_00 10:09

No, you went too far.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

For me anyway. It's better to be very accurate, as accurate as you can be with yourself, with your own feelings, and choose the right words. Because the words, for example, if you're let's say you're frustrated, but say I'm angry, then you tend to become angry, but you were just frustrated. Right. You know, if you're disappointed and you say that, oh my god, this is terrible, then you become terrible, is not disappointed. You know, so there is a bit of as I said the words that they you they say is they mean it in that level. Now, what is the value of this you know subject to talking about? Because very frequently it happens, you see, for example, people that they have a life full of pleasure, party, especially when you're younger. Now I have done that. And then um then when you see other people they have you know uh a life of full of pleasure and you know activity and party and dancing. You wish their life. I wish I could do that.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Sometimes. Sometimes I wish I was more of a dancer, but you know, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Well, I am a dancer.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Oh, good for you. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

I did country for some time, but I don't know how good I am at it right now. After a few drinks, things get better. But so the pleasure, because a lot of times you see, for example, and this that I'm saying, I have heard it very frequently that I was that person when I was younger. I would see somebody, for example, let's say a celebrity, somebody who comes from a richer family, you know, that they can go to parties, that they can do this and that, I would wish their life. But really, that's a pleasure. In pleasure, sometimes there are screw-ups too. Just I'm sure I have done that. Uh, that, for example, you drink and then you're having a good time, but sometimes you say or you do something that, oops, I should not have said that or done that. Yep. And then it just affects a little bit the whole thing. So pleasure sometimes can go the other way and can become a oopsie. Uh so because of that, I'm the reason I'm bringing this up again, you know, if somebody, you know, you wish somebody else's life to have, think twice. Are you thinking about the pleasure or are you talking about the level of happiness? Because those parties end. And then after that, you are you. And you know how you feel. And sometimes you just feel terrible, actually, after because all that hype is gone. Um, of course, again, pleasure can be good, obviously. You know, it's just that, you know, just to I'm trying to create that awareness that you know where we are going with this thing and how far you know we think about that to stuff. And um pleasure is good because it just makes life exciting. If you have a very happy life, you have everything, but you don't have any really pleasure in it, to be honest, it becomes boring. Right. You need some sort of excitement, or you need a purpose, as we said, but there are different or a challenge. Yes, yeah. Yeah, the challenge becomes a purpose on its own. Right. Yeah, yeah. But so basically that again gets your heart pumping, that gets your life going. Otherwise, you have everything, uh, but it just becomes blah. Yeah, you know, so the excitement and the pleasure part of it is good as well as the purpose, but then again, you want to be in control to see you know how far you want to go. Um again, I bring this up because I want to create some awareness, and I normally normally it is said that um failing to plan equates planning to fail. Yeah, and we don't normally plan our lives, we just live it based on whatever the culture or the religion or I don't know, something that we have got used to in the family or the flow, whatever that goes on. But we don't really control it as much. But by giving it some thought a little bit, it becomes more clear. Although I don't have a personal, I do I'm even for myself, I'm not clear exactly the difference between happy and pleasure and you know purpose because sometimes they mix up a little bit too. All of this thing that they do happen, but just being aware of it, you know, it helps to think about it a bit more and I said be more conscientious about the direction that you are going. Do I wanna because that would can decide that you know how do you how do you decide somebody is your friend? The friends are the ones that you go part of, or the friends are the ones that when you're in trouble, they are there. The friends in need are the friends indeed. You know, yeah, I think so. You know, so which which one do you because sometimes those friends that they help you, they may not be partygoers, right? And vice versa.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

And have these kinds of conversations with, those are usually the the longer friends that you have, right? And the friends that you have that you don't have to talk to them every day, you know. You can go months or years without talking to them, and just everything when you see them again, it comes back, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Correct. That you know you just you know continue from where you stopped, you know, some time ago. So again, it is just to be aware, as well as you know, what kind of friend are you yourself, you know, when we are friends to somebody else. Are we more of a party friend or really are we just friends in need? And of course, you know, again, it's just something to think about that you know, how do you choose that word? Because when you say friend, again, you want to be accurate with the wording that you use. Otherwise, again, I said, you know, it's like saying I'm angry where you're disappointed. You want to be more accurate about that wording, as I have said before. Then um in life, obviously it's a bumpy road, you know, sometimes it has good and bad. So again, the reason I'm bringing this up to just be aware in case you have a you know, you go through some bad time, well, it is temporary. And if it's a good time, try to uh you know hang on to it as much as you can, but it's gonna go away too, you know. So and it's one each one of them has its own, you know, their own place. Now I have another question for you.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

What do you do for pleasure?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Maybe I should add this to it. I think I think I I hang out with people that I like and I try to have good conversations with them. And um I work on things. Um I d I build little things or I I I make things or I you know even uh even going to work and making like a plumbing system or a boiler system that brings me pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

That's good. And actually, I want to say that you know, remember that pleasure or the oopsies, you know, either of them, they can add up and they can change your level of happiness. And yes, for example, for myself, I do the same thing. I get together with friends very frequently, as you know. I we normally eat together, and normally when they are there, I cook. You know that I never cook in advance because I want to enjoy the process of cooking. Otherwise, anyway, yeah. So for myself, you know, pleasure basically is that. Now I'm just wondering, now that we have this podcast, shall I say it was a pleasure talking to you or it was a happiness talking to you? You better say it's a pleasure. But you know, especially with this podcast, for myself, it has become something that really has given me a purpose. Of course, it has been a long-term plan that I have had, and really has, you know, even the process of it is just enjoyable. It's a challenge and very enjoyable. So, um, again, this is um uh what I once said that you know about the pleasure and you know happiness that to become a bit more aware on the wordings and you know the things that we do, because sometimes, for example, some people they are not happy and then they want to create a pleasure for themselves, which is cool, you know, when you just boost yourself up a little bit. But what do you choose to do? Because some of the pleasures they end up with some oopsies after, for example, they go shopping, they buy themselves a gift, or they go eat something or drink. And that's a pleasure at the time, right? But after that, for example, if you do too much drinking, first of all, the cost of it, the health part of it, that it affects normally, you know, the way that you sleep and those kinds of things, or the hangover, is it really good? Because a lot of time, for example, especially the younger generation, oh, it was we had such a good time, you know, we had so much to drink, and you know, it was such a hangover. Was it really good? You want to think twice about that one. This is, you know, so the the choices that we make. But for example, if you go for a run, or for example, you go, as I said, to get together with friends, you know, just eat and you know, do something, you know, fun, again, how you feel afterwards. So some of the pleasure part that we do we take, we do, sometime at the time it might be fun, but afterwards, is it as much? Or when you get the invoice, for example, you have on a MasterCard, you bought something to give it just for the pleasure. I'm buying something to gift myself, to give a gift. You know, is it really good? Or you know, maybe you could have made a better choice, but instead of doing that, maybe getting together with friends. I don't want to ruin it, but you know, when it comes to happiness, one of the things that they say, um, one of the biggest elements is having a good community.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

So instead of instead, for example, focusing on I'm gonna buy myself a gift or I'm gonna go eat this, or you know, some sort of activity that I said is too much of a drinking or um you know other things might be involved. Instead of that, maybe you want to think about hmm, I'm gonna get a few friends over, we are gonna cook and eat, or go for a walk, you know, something like that. That because the aftermath, you know, at this you're not ending up with a big bill, you're not gonna end up with a hangover. So again, I'm gonna bring this up that you know, when the especially younger generation, I have done the same thing. So I don't blame you for that, but you know, I just want to create that awareness. That is it really happy when your day after is ruined a little bit, you end up with a hangover, and that your money is spent and you get your MasterCard bill or something afterwards. Or even if it's not your own money, it is somebody's money that has gone. Or instead you could have gone maybe help somebody. That is another way of doing it. Right. Yeah. Just imagine instead of that spending that money, for example, for your drinking or buying yourself a gift, if you had gone and really helped somebody who genuinely needs it. The feeling that you have after, another way of I would say differentiating between pleasure and happiness is pleasure is temporary, happiness is a kind of more permanent. The feeling that you have after the fact. So when you remember it, how do you feel about that? And for how long that feeling is gonna last. So these are some of the things to think about because again, sometimes we have pleasures that they go wrong, and uh we want to make sure that that doesn't happen, but we have pleasures that they can end up pretty good, you know, that it increases your level of happiness. So the choices that we make, I wanna basically be careful. So again, I I'm trying really to make this podcast a little bit shorter, and um I think I have done it so far. Uh as always, I have said, you know, the uh this podcast primarily is to create a platform so that you know we can uh mature a subject. So please, if you have anything to add on, please, you know, just let us know. You can just make a comment or you know uh send us an email if it needs to be. Uh and the best way to get hold of us is info at uh lifeworkshop.ca. And remember again, the question for the today is this what do you consider as pleasure versus happiness? And then by knowing what you know now, or you know, getting you to think about that, what are the changes that you're gonna make when it comes to selection of the type of pleasure that you're gonna have? Because it's good, but it's just that how do you do it? Pleasures that they're gonna end up with an oopsie afterwards, or no, pleasures that really they just can end up your, you know, lift your level of happiness. And again, at the end, remember life is simple, we make it complicated. Love you guys. Bye. Bye bye.