S1E11 The Power of Asking Questions

It is not a bad idea to question any basic principle as what and why we do something time to time. After all circumstances change. And sometime we are simply living the life we were taught and the life we want.
When asking a genuine question, almost any answer is good, but when we ask a question, expecting a certain answer, we can easily get offended or disappointed.
Often based on what we do we can get the good or the bad out of the same person. Good and bad wolf.

Do you ask enough questions or think its better to do it on your own, thinking you might be bothering people? Remember often people like to help, do not hesitate to ask for help.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Welcome to Life Workshop, where we discuss the forgotten basics.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

So, the topic of this episode is the power of asking questions. And it is mainly around the fact that I built my house recently and I have been living here for about a year or a year and a half, I should say. Depending how you start calculating that at what point you know I lived in. But, anyways, and as a matter of fact, this is how I know Bo. Bo was the plumber who did the plumbing, and that is how I got to know him.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Gas fitting as well. That too. And some electrical work, no, I'm just kidding. But yeah, anyway, so it's primarily about that, uh, you know, about building the house.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Um, yeah, so so to go with that, I mean, I'm I'm in this world of construction and renovation and and that to a degree, and I see all sorts of things happen like all the time. And a question that I have a lot and I and I ask people on a regular basis, really, when I come into these projects or I'm asked to be involved, um, is where the very first question is, well, why did you decide to build instead of buy something new that's already done or just renovate the house that you're in now? Because this is a big choice that people have to make. So why did you make that specific decision?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

You know, um, yeah, this is the thing, because to build a house, especially if um you're not familiar with the process, you know, it's a a kind of a painful process at points, at times. But anyway, the reason I did it was primarily because I wanted a house that does some stuff for me. And believe it or not, it just that is why the I'm calling it the power of asking questions. So I asked questions from myself that why do I want a house? Can I convert the one that I have? And then so then the answer was, okay, what this house is supposed to do for you. One of the things that I have been really interested at for a lot of years, you know, and it happened that I could do it at this stage in my life, was that to build a house that has basement units, that are units that are completely independent, and other people can live there. Of course, when I say other people, I'm not talking a renter per se, but somebody that you know and you like them, and hopefully they like you, and they can live there. And um if they have and you have all your you know independence, but at the same time, if you want to get together, is as easy as coming up the stairs and the door is there. So uh this concept is existing, it's called co-housing. Um that if there are, of course, this is a kind of a bigger perspective, the co-housing that they build these units, um, God knows, you know, 15, 20, you know, it's like an apartment building, but a lot of common areas that they have to them. And probably I will talk about this in another podcast. That's why do people do that? It's um it's a very healthy way of living. And um, but anyway, so that was the idea that you know I wanted to do something like that because we didn't have one in Regina at the time. There is one right now, but we didn't have that. And anyway, I said that I'm gonna just do it on my own.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Well, isn't that just the same thing as uh having like a community on like like what separates that, say, from like a Hudder community? I guess you would have to explain to people what that is in the first place. But of course, anyway, but you you know like all those different sort of communal living.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

There are lots of different communities existing. You know, this is another thing. There are we have all the I have a running community, we have bikers community. I don't know. There are tons of different communities are existing, there are online communities, obviously. But for me, it was in a way that I I think I told in one episode before that, you know, I like the fact that if I know somebody lives behind a wall.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Yeah, just for the fact that I know that there is a you know person, a live person there. Hopefully not a dead person. Right, right. We talked about the fact that, for example, you have a pet in your house. Uh, one reason is because another heartbeat. So, and it was the same concept, the concept of community, but at the same time, I can't have my privacy. If I want to, I just close the door, lock the door. If not, you know, hey, come on up, let's just eat together, you know, do stuff together, and then it's as easy as stepping out uh and going to back to your place. Can that be done with the neighbors? And this thing, the answer is yes, or with other friends, you know. But if you're living physically at a distance, especially with the cold weather that we have in Saskatchewan, in here, you know, sometime in winter it becomes a bit harder. But that was just one part of the reason that I wanted to build this house. I wanted to get that sense of community. And I really sat down and I should say this when I wanted to do this, I asked friends to critique me and challenge me on my ideas. And for example, a buddy of mine, Doug, he did that. And he actually played that role of being a jerk pretty good, I should say. No, I'm kidding about that, but you know, he was really good at it. He has more of a managerial attitude, so he questioned everything. That's why do you want to do this? You know, can you do it differently to get it for the same thing in an easier way? So, and that helped to mold my idea a lot better. So I was really welcoming those challenges because sometimes we we think of challenge as a bad thing. No, as a math, it's a very, very good thing. So I wanted a house and then I went into details and I started writing it by the way. And I really believe in this that it's better to write it. And then because when sometimes when you think, you can think vaguely. But when you write, you have to pick your words, you have to sequence it, you have to be more appropriate. So, and I started writing it, and I did. I did write it that I want this house to do this few things for me, that one of them, for example, was that the other thing that you know have a sense of community. The other one was because we are in Saskatchewan again, it gets really cold in here. You know, I wanted to make sure that this house is somewhere that I want to be, especially when the weather is not nice, which is unfortunately most of the year, about maybe six, seven months, really you cannot be outside as much. So, that how can I enjoy that? So then I build it with a way that, for example, I have indoor garden because I love the fact of having greenery, gives me that feeling that yeah, you're you're outside basically. Another one was you know to have big windows, so that that open concept that you know you feel that. So these were the things that I started, you know, uh I wanted from the house. At the same time, I really like to barbecue, but in winter, for example, if you want to barbecue, then you have to shovel the snow, get to the barbecue, you know, put your jacket on, you know, all that crap. Yeah, so what I did, as you know, I built this um you know uh uh veranda that you know the barbecue is there, so I can really step out in the middle of the intervention minus 40, even very easy with just a bit of a warming cloth, but in my sandals I can step out and simply barbecue. So and I made the house exactly the way that I wanted. Of course, when I say that, I want to be a bit more accurate about that. When I wanted to do that, I discussed with some other people because I want yes, it's a house that I built with the intention to live in it for the rest of my life, right? But and I'm not dying anytime soon. So then um, and then I wanted to, but I had to have a plan B. If something happens that I want to sell it, I don't want it to become too custom that selling it becomes a challenge or you lose a lot of money. So, because of that, I took into consideration the things that can be changed very easily to make accommodate you know those changes for most people, the way that normally a house is done. For example, in here we have only two bedrooms, but anyway, um, so I built it in a way that very easily two other rooms can be added very, very easy without affecting the the the really the quality of the house. So that was one of the things that you know, and then uh so that the house I wanted to do this thing, and I went very much in detail. I wrote exactly the feeling that I want to get, and I wanted to be in a way to become welcoming because I like to have friends over to eat together and do a stuff, and you know, then I asked how can I achieve that? Because if your house is too modern, then it seems that if you want to step in, you have to put your suit and tie on before you know you come in. And I didn't want that, so anyway, I I had to do a bit of a you know calculation, you know how far of a custom I want to go, and then how far I want to make it easy to convert it to something else.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Right, and then when you're talking about that too, then another thing you have to keep in mind um is there's all this design aspect, right? But you have to keep in in mind what the code is, like building code is as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Like, of course the question is that you should have kept in mind because it's done already.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Yeah, yeah. But but you have to keep that in your planning as well. That's great. So that brings into a whole other thing is that you decided to be the general contractor on this yourself. So you also not only the design aspects you had to figure out, but you also had to wrap your head around say managing the people who build it who know what the codes are, and then you have to learn what the codes are, because normally the general contract well, the general contractor is supposed to know that have a general overview of what what they are. So now all of a sudden you're coming in here and you have all these design aspects that you want to do, but then you have to make them fit into the what the building code like allows so that your house doesn't like fall over, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Yeah, as a matter of that, that you're saying because of that, the architect design became um about three times as much in cost. And I was just fine with it. And I'm not regretting anything. And the reason was that I thought that uh, you know, again, this was something that we had discussed it with Dyke and you know, some other friends that they were more educated in the field, but they were normally I would discuss things with people that they are they have been successful in the field and they are educated, not just randomly. Um, otherwise, really their opinion in all honesty don't matter. Then so, but Dyke being a project manager, uh constructor and project manager, he knew quite a bit, obviously, about that stuff, as well as as at his attitude of you know being like a manager, it really helped. I talked to him quite a bit, but at the same time, obviously, I have my architect, that video architect, because of that the design became a lot more, but there were changes that they were made on paper, not on in real, which would be or impossible or very expensive, or you would end up with something that you don't want and you would regret afterwards. So I made that conscious decision, and it took me a bit longer for the design part of it. So, for the drawing, by the way, I should say it took a lot longer, more than a year. And when I say a year, trust me, I'm talking full-time. I was discussing it with Allah's sub people. If you want to know, I discussed the drawing of the house with more than 400 people. Of course, you will wonder what where do these people come from?

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Yeah, what you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

This is the thing, you know. Of course, I'm a physical therapist by profession, so I have clients, so I a good part of it were about maybe I would say 350 of them were clients, but the other 50 were friends that you know, and three of the friends, I took tons of time with them. Tons of time with them, one being Doc, the other one was a buddy of mine, Mike. He's an engineer, he's a very, you know, calculator thought, which helped me quite a bit. And then another friend of mine, Karen, and this is actually a very interesting part. I know her as a friend, I didn't know that much, but once I talked to her, and she was one of the best things ever happened in my life. She just knew quite a bit, and we spent tons of time, and she made, she helped me change a lot of stuff that to be honest, I would it would never cross my mind. So, for example, the hidden pantry, you know, it was completely her idea. I would like to take the credit for the design. Unfortunately, I can't. But I should tell you this, you know, when I was going to a school in Iran to become a physical therapist, we had a teacher that he said, he said the smartest person is not the one that knows everything, is the one who knows people who are really good at something and go and ask the question from them. And really kind of stayed with me, and I have been practicing it. So, yes, to come up with a design, I had no idea about the design. And then especially this house, because it's built around trees. There it's a is an older area that there were trees that which demolished the previous house, which was actually really in a bad of a shape that had to be gone. It was not worth recovery, and then and they kept all the trees. So, and they did not want to get rid of them, obviously. And you know, we had to build a house around that, which uh became a bit harder, but it was one of the best things that I did. I wanted that feel, you know. They say they say when is a good time to plant a tree? 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

When is the next time, best time is now. But so I was not willing to cut the trees by any means. That was the exact reason I came to this area. So, anyway, that made it a lot more difficult, you know, for the design part. But I took my time and talked to everybody. And uh as I said, these three people that I said, three friends, but you know, some other friends, but at the same time, as I said, with my clients. And the good thing is that with the about the clients, you know, they come for 20 minutes, half hour or so. If they don't like you talking about that, eh, too bad for them. They'll get over it. No, but I was I was conscientious about that. That you know, in case I would say somebody doesn't want to, then I wouldn't discuss it with them. But believe it or not, most people were very um, you know, okay, very much okay with it, you know, to throw their own ideas. Now I want to say this, and this is I think something of interest, because I had a buddy of mine, he said, but Mo, not everybody likes to talk about the design of your house. I said, I don't know who those people are. The only way to know is to ask.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

And if they don't like it, then I won't talk to them about that.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Yeah. Or else they'll change the subject. That is correct.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

The conversation won't continue, or people just won't ask any more questions, then you'll be like, oh, actually, actually, believe it or not, because I was so uh I get a little bit obsessed with the stuff, probably you have noticed that. I get a bit obsessed with, and because I was so obsessed about the uh this building the house that you know um I was only talking about that. So if I would say somebody is not interested, then what I would do, I would um go ahead and for example, I I I wouldn't talk to them as much anymore. I would choose the people that I can talk to about that subject. Correct. So I would just choose people that they like to talk about the house, then I would just talk to those people mainly. Yeah, another buddy of mine said that, but Mo, when people throw a suggestion, you don't listen to them anyways. Then I said it doesn't mean because I'm asking a question, I'm gonna do it. I'm asking to find out the options that I have. And when I ask 10 people, they give me 10 different ideas. A lot of them are contradicting each other. You know, the the main purpose of asking questions is to see the options that are existing that you may not know. And believe it or not, yes, sometimes you know, when you keep asking, you see that there are so many ideas existing when it comes to the you know, to the house. And then people end up repeating the thing that you have heard over and over. But they don't know who has the new idea.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

That's interesting. That that brings the whole thing back. What you just said there about that's the power of asking questions, and that's why you go to people and you and you ask people things, is just to get like you said, I'm reiterating now just to get get your options. And I've had that before too, where I've been, well, you know, I really want your opinion. I'll say to someone, I really want your opinion. Like, what is this? And they say, Why do you what? Why do you even care? Because you're just gonna do whatever the hell you want, anyways. And I'm like, Yes, I am gonna do whatever the hell I want, anyways. But I still want to know what you think so that I can round out my decision. Exactly. I'm gonna make my own my own decision just because I'm asking you doesn't mean that I'm going to do what you say. That's exactly what you said on the top. So you just you just keep asking, you don't know who has the right answer. And maybe nobody does, and maybe nobody, and maybe you can take a whole bunch of different things and put them all together to make a super idea, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

And actually, you know, I think I did comic came up with a very super idea when it came to the house. But you know, honestly again, was it my ideas? No, the only right thing that they did, the main right thing was that keep asking questions, don't stop asking questions, even if people repeat it, which most of the time it happened after so many times, then I would say more than 95% of repeating what you have heard before. But again, I never gave up. I kept asking and I kept asking because I don't know who is the next guy who's gonna have something new to tell me. I don't know who that person is.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Oh, I remember, I remember asking and asking, I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Man, but so basically that was the thing. I said, you know, I'm gonna be uh uh I'm gonna be just keep asking till I find you know the the the to find the thing. This was one of the interesting parts though. Then after a year that I came up with design, because till that point I was asking to really genuinely asking a question to see what people have to say. But then I came up with the design and I submitted it to the city for approval. At this stage, uh again, I had another client of mine that she was there, so I showed her the drawing and she was very good with the you know, she could understand the drawing really quick. And then she made this comment you know, Mo, the dining room is too small. Then, but at this time I was not asking her a question genuinely to see what she has to say, I was asking for an approval to tell me what a great job I have done, right? So, because of that, I kind of hated her. Holy cow, seriously, you're telling me I spent a year on this damn thing, and you tell me the dining room is small, and then that but this is the thing, then the view changes. My view before that was I genuinely asking questions I want to know the answer. After that, it had changed. No, I'm asking a question to get approval, and she didn't approve of what I had done, so I hated her. But when I went home, I thought, god damn it, she's right. She is right. So, what I did, I again I went and changed the plan. And I made the dining room a bit deeper, and not knowing that after that, it affected two other things except the dining room, which was a very good idea to make it begin. But also two other things, which the veranda became wider, became a lot nicer than oh my god, it would have been ugly if it had done it the way that I would have done it before. And honestly, I don't know who this lady is. I I didn't see her, I I don't remember. If I was I was here, I would say, thank you, kudos to you, with all the respect, we just bow to her. But so again, the fact was that again, the difference, again, I'm I'm trying to make this point very clear. Sometimes we ask questions really with a sense of curiosity. When we do ask those questions, then you get an answer. And you're grateful. And I by the way, if as I said, at 1.95%, if not more of the answers that I would hear, it was repeated, that I have already heard them and I know them. But again, I would be grateful till I find that one, two, three percent that they had something new to say. But when I change the concept that now I'm asking for approval, now if you don't say what I want to hear, then I don't like you. So it's very important that when we ask a question really with a sense of curiosity to see what you have to say versus I'm seeking approval. Right. But then yeah, anyway, so the drawing was done afterwards, and then afterwards it came to obviously the process of building. Right. So, and then the question was that you know, um, for general in it, as you know, that I started doing it myself. Yeah, and um because I had other options, I could get. Other people to generate it and I should have bought eight general contractors. I hadn't told them anything, but over time they had come to know about the house and things and they approached me, but I turned everybody down and I wanted to do it myself.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

So so that then I asked before why did you generate yourself? So I'm getting here is that you wanted to do it yourself because you had a specific design in mind and you're you were very in like you were very, very involved. So it was sort of like because you want it done your way, not your way per per per se, but yeah, you wanted to be involved, like it was it was special.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Actually, before I I I I I don't want to forget this one. When I was doing the design, you know, myself I was worried about if I want to sell it afterwards, what will happen. And then there was this guy said, Mo, don't worry about it that much. You know, you you build what you have. There is somebody who would be interested.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

And there are people that are not gonna be interested. So, you know, you cannot do that. But you know, but again, as a general rule, I did the design with the possibility of ability to change it without you know major effect to the integrity of the house. But when it came to the general ingredient, there were these few reasons that I did it for. And again, all these things, believe it or not, again, it was asking questions and you know having friends, especially Doug, you know, to question me on this thing that why this, why that. And you know, he just grilled me and I welcomed it. This is another thing. Sometimes I keep saying people they take a challenge or a question as an attack to their you know, uh wisdom or something. For me, oh my god, no, I was welcoming that. I was actually I was requesting, please, you know, you know, correct me if I'm wrong. And we really went with that view. And then, but the reason that I had there were three major ones, the very top one that why did I generate myself? One was I wanted to see when we say racism and discrimination, how much of it does it exist? This is in 2019. What? Okay, I'm just gonna explain it. Okay, but my name being Mohammed, and I'm supposed to be a half-terrorist by default, especially before this COVID hits and this thing, it was more about that. And I was wondering that um, you know, how much does it affect? Normally, as a physical therapist, patients come to me. If they don't want to, just they don't come. But when they come, normally they're okay with it. So I want to say that when people they say that there is discrimination and racism, how much of it does it exist? And how much of it does it affect? Because now I'm going to the other people seeking their help versus them coming to me. Okay. So the scenario is a bit different. Okay. So one was that. And believe it or not, at the end I realized, to be honest, not as much. A lot of it is the racism or discrimination is going on. There is a bit, maybe as much or any. Maybe not at all. To be honest, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 25:03

Uh as I didn't notice anything specific from um standpoint of a subcontractor, which would be what what I kind of was kind of. Um the um I wouldn't say not racism. I didn't hear anything like that, like any racism stuff. The stuff that we bugged you about was like, does doesn't even know.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

So it doesn't matter really, you know, you're who you are. It's just the fact that, you know, I'm not a general contractor. Yes, yes, I don't have the knowledge.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

And eventually we came around, you know, and we're like, okay, you know, and you kept asking, you know, and it was like, and you did take people's opinion into consideration. And even there, like, you would come to me with some crazy idea, and I'd be like, no. I'm not doing that. I'm not tearing half the stuff. Or I would say, no, and right off the bat, I'd be like, nope, not happening. Or I'd be like, nope, inspection inspection isn't gonna let that, that's not gonna fly.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

This is the thing. Actually, believe it or not, there were some companies that they refused because they said that you're general in it and they knew they're gonna have a harder time with somebody who is not a general contractor by profession, which I don't blame them at all. Yeah, and you are absolutely right, than somebody that doesn't have any experience, so it would be more headache on their and I they chose not to.

SPEAKER_03 26:31

But that's also, you know, sure, yeah, it is headache, but it's also a learning opportunity. You know what I mean? Like if I if you hadn't come to me with some of those ideas where I said no, and then I sat there and I thought about it, and I thought about it, and I was mad, and I was like, I just why am I why why am I mad? And then I'm like, why like what maybe maybe I can maybe I can do this? And I thought, well, how can I do this within the rules that I have to stick into for core purposes? How can I make this work for this guy? And like, okay, okay, okay. And I take a couple minutes, I'd be thinking about it, think about it. All right, I can do this. I got two different ways I can do this. Okay, as a massive U and I can come back an hour later and I'd be like, I can do it.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Actually, this reminds me of for the mechanical part of it in here, that for example, normally the heat, of course, again, for people that here to this uh listen to this from different parts of the world, for about almost eight months of the year in here we have the furnaces going on for at least seven, eight, you know, something like that. That's fair. And then uh for the furnace, for example, the heat comes through these registers in the um obviously floor. Then what we did, we changed the things. And I honestly did not know how the mechanical thing works. I I talked to the mechanical guy, which whom you know, I asked him, and he came and he was nice enough to come, and we had a meeting for two hours to explain how the whole thing works. And then what we put, we put the return air all the way up next to the ceiling because the warm air goes up. And then we put one all the way down for the cold air in summer, that because the air conditioning goes on. Yeah, and then we threw the heat after that with the conversation, which you know of it, we threw the heat inside the floor truss, yeah. Which translated to having a heated floor to a point. Actually, not to a point. I have a heated floor. I do have a heated floor, especially when it is cold, the floor is really warm. And because of that, I should have walked barefoot there.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

Sure, but it's not as efficient as say putting in-floor heating in with a proper boiler system.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

And you know, I'm not too sure about that. That is okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

But I don't don't don't give like those tin guys like any ideas about coming into my boiler space.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Actually, this was one of the things that they told me, but I said, you know what? I am very good in physics. They want to challenge me, know exactly what you're doing. No, I believe actually the efficiency is no different. I'm not going to get into detail. But and what happened, actually, a distance was something that I did not uh expect, you know, but because it's a very open concept, you know, the the in winter, I don't know if I have shown you this, believe it or not, because I turned the heat inside the floor truss on the main floor on, so that I get a heated floor. The main floor is one to two degrees warmer than the second floor. And that is one of the biggest challenges for uh open concept that you have to have a ceiling fan to push the warm air down. Yeah, but the way that we did it in here, you know, that happened. So uh where I'm going with this thing, into back to what we were talking uh uh a bit earlier, that you know, because of the asking question and you know, asking and then challenging it, actually the mechanical guy that whom you know, and as a matter of fact he asked, he asked that if he can use me as a reference because he's gonna suggest it to others. Yeah, and anyway, it turned out really well. But anyway, back to the original thing I was talking. Why did I generate? One was that you know, is there any racism or discrimination? But to be honest, I didn't experience anything specific. It was just the fact that if there was something, it was because they didn't want to deal with me because I'm not a general contractor, not because I'm good looking. I mean, I mean because the second one is things that I really believed in this. Can I get the good out of people? Because it is like the native that they have this uh expression that they say that in everybody there is a good and bad wolf, and then the question which one wins? The one that you feed. Yeah, so and they really followed these things. Can I get the good out of people? Then that was another thing. And did I? I I think to be honest, I did. You know, people are generally good. Generally good. There are some, but you know, they are generally good, and then it was the way that you handle it, you just get the good or the bad version of them. And then um, of course, another one was that I wanted to be during the whole process and see and make a few changes as the process was going on, which I don't didn't make too many changes, did I? I'm kidding. Bo got so mad at me at one point. But you know, the changes that they made that made it a lot, I would say for the most part, you know, it it made it a lot better. As a matter of fact, believe it or not, you know, after I was as the construction was going on, I had this uh client of mine that he has been to me back and forth for different reasons over the years. When he came, you know, he said that hey, more, you know, about the garage. He gave me some ideas because he loves his cars and he has his garage. The garage is very important to him. And he started to explain. And as I'm treating him, he was laying down face down, you know, I'm working on his back, and then he's talking about the garage. And I'm listening and I'm just you know doing it in my own head. At one point, I stopped the treatment, I put my hands around his neck. I said, if you say one more word, I'm gonna kill you right here. I said, You increased my cost $15,000. I was doing the math in my head too. And actually, you have seen the garage, you know, the fact that you know, we moved that window there and we put the door on that side and we put the balcony there. And this was one of the best things ever I did. And now the smoker is sitting on that side. It was one of the best things, and of course it continues. Then I went on YouTube and I Googled what do you use your garage for? Yeah, you know, very easily. You know, the garage can be used for a lot of different purposes for parking car, for mechanic, for uh, you know, um uh manscape or manscape, I forgot the wordscape. No, no, no, sorry. I just don't know. No, no, not that, but you know, for example, it can be as an exercise room, it can be um, I don't know, a party room, it can be a lot of different things. And then I went and you know, decided what I can do to you know to make the best usage of garage for me. And I love it, to be honest, the way that it is. Another thing was that so basically during this process, and I talked to other people, and you know, it every time, you know, it just made some changes and things, it made it a little bit obviously too many changes, but it made it really good. But it was just all because of asking questions and letting people speak. And again, if somebody would say something that I knew, I would never shut them down. I would never say, Oh my god, I know that. I never have because if you do that, then obviously they're not willing to talk anymore. And you're having me respectful. But no, I never did that. I just even if they would say something that I knew, I would let them talk. And it was amazing. Sometimes when they would say you would they would they would give it a different feel. If you do it, you will see what I'm talking about. It would give it a different feel, and it ended up that I, you know, I made a lot of even minor changes just because of those influences, otherwise, on my own, there would be no way I would have come up with that. This was interesting. A buddy of mine asked that during this process, because he thought that because I'm going through a lot of details and things, if people are gonna hate me, and he said, How many friends did you make? I said, believe it or not, I dealt probably 35 different contractors. Just with one, we had actually maybe two, we had a bit of a rough time. I mean, we I had rough time with some, but because it was handed in a very logical way, you know, it was done, you know, we are very good friends. For example, the guy, I'm not gonna say now which one, that they helped me quite a bit even afterwards, I will tell you after the show. But they they helped me. So we are very good friends even now. As a matter of fact, when I wanted to to do this um house, um I set up an email that by default there was some of the things at the bottom of the email. Because because I wanted to get the good out of people, out of the contractors. The question every time was like this I'm building this house for the rest of my house and I'm not dying anytime soon. How can I build it so that there are I don't have to fix it as much? So that was one. Two, if this was your own house, how would you do it? I would love to hear from you. So I would put them on the good side that you know to see it from my view. I don't like that question.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

Um if it's if it's your house, how would you do it? I don't I don't like that. Just for me as a as a someone who does these sort of things, I I get that. Well, if it is your house, how would you do it? Or would you do that in your house?

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Of course, I'm talking not the design. I was talking about the the the the doing the job, the that you know basically you don't run into a problem. That was my question. Not the design. I mean no, the design I have already come up with that.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Yeah, but in even so, I mean it's like I I would prefer you to ask me the question like how are you gonna do this for someone who's paying you a a good who's paying you a really good rate to come up with the with the the best. Okay. Too late.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Already I asked those questions.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

Yeah, okay. Okay, but but I mean, yeah, but that that's how I would prefer to look at it rather than what would you do in your own house? Because sometimes in your own house, you know, you'll kind of not do the best or you'll do something crazy just because you can, right? And oh you can't fix it. I see video. Yeah, like I can fix something really, really quick or do something, and you know, and and that's not you know, it's not the same. And and it's not to say that you don't do the best work in your own house, but sometimes you do things just to make them work. And when I when I'm in someone else's house and I'm doing something pro professionally, I want to do it the best way possible. So I don't like that. How would you do it in your house? Well, you know what, I'm gonna do it in your house better than I do it in my house.

SPEAKER_01 37:19

You know, I I didn't say that way, but then I was just but the yeah, I said the questions I had, some of this thing, and that uh and every time I would ask, is there a this was another question that because during the contract that they would send me, then I would say, are there questions that they haven't asked that I need to ask that to clarify things before we sign a contract? I would ask that too because I don't know all of the details. You know, so for a contract, and the question was that, for example, if you have made this contract with other people, have there been places that they haven't been enough clarity for the both parties, and that has caused problem. So believe it or not, most of the time it worked. And some people that they wanted to kind of get the job and do a you know bad job or just to brush it off, unless you could pick them. And personally, I did that. And with but it was again few and far in between. Most people they're very genuine and honest, and you know it worked really, really well. I should say this. One of the interesting parts now the the concept of asking questions. After the house is almost built, a buddy of mine asked more what would you do differently? Have you thought about this? What you have done would do differently about this house. I said, This is one of the dumbest questions. We have dumb questions, this is one of them. And the reason is I said, you're asking me to go and think hard how not to be happy with what I have done. I'm not gonna do that. I said, I'm not gonna think about the things that I have already done, and I cannot, I cannot change them. Thinking that way is I'm thinking hard to be dissatisfied. I'm willing to think about what I can do now to make it even better. And so the reason I'm not a general contractor, I'm not gonna be building again, I'm not gonna learn from my mistakes for next time. Okay, why should I learn? This is a very good point that I would like to make, and I'm I I'm very adamant about it that you know this is the right way of thinking. Why should I learn something that is not gonna provide me with any purpose, serve me any purpose? I'm not gonna be building another house. Why should I think hard to see what I have made mistakes in here? I'm gonna think about, I'm gonna put my focus on proper thinking. What I can do now to make it better. So the way you think, it decides how you the way you feel, this is one of them. And I really practiced it personally.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

I guess it's not like it's not like you're learning something new in your field of of work or something where you're gonna be like you said something you're gonna be doing all the time. I guess it would be a different situation.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

That's good. If I wanted to build another house, sure, then I would go, for example, think hard to say that okay, how what mistakes I made in here. But I said if the question is that have I noticed anything specific, I said to be honest, no. And the reason because I've been through this so many times, so many times with different people, and I have discussed it so many times that to be honest, I think everything is perfect. And as I might have said it before a few times, I love this house. Yeah, yeah, and then of course, after that was about the backyard that you know the bitch last year we finished it. For the backyard, again, for the design, believe it, for the design of the backyard, again, I talked to one more than 50 people. Because again, what is a backyard for? You can use it for a playground for the children, or you can have a, I don't know, uh, if you have your RVs or cars you want to park there. You know, people have different reasons. But for me, I wanted a house that to give me a feel of being outside. So obviously, I made a lot of windows, but at the same time as you know about the backyard, I made it a lot of up and down. And it has some private parts that if you want to have privacy and you have friends over, you can go in a lower level. If you want to be seen, because it's a corner lot, and you want to socialize with people that they walk in the area, you can sit up there. So and it worked really, really well. But again, it I did how did it happen? Believe it or not, once I was discussing the explaining this to a few friends, and you know, uh their daughter who is I think 18, as I was saying, I said I want this feel from the backyard, and I was explaining, and then she went on her phone and then she dropped uh find a picture and she said, Is this what you're talking about? I said, Yes. I could not put a word to it, but after I was explaining it, she found out, and that found the finding was that I want something that looks natural, not a groomed backyard, right? Not very pretty with nice flowers and the grass is cut proper. That was not what I was looking for. I wanted to get a feel that I'm outside, and this was again another value of talking to people. Sometimes you cannot put it in words, and it's very important. And then I came up with this rule that I told the um uh land escaper. I said, I want to be like a I want this to be like a forest. The only difference in this forest, your shoes don't get dirty. But seriously, that is, and because of that, as you know, the driveway in the front of the house, the grass and the weed and everything grows through it. Yeah, but it gives it a as far as I'm concerned, it's a beautiful look. I really, when I come in summer, it just feels like, oh my god, I'm I'm on top of the town.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

I thought you were you were crazy when you when you did that. I looked at it, I was like, Tap, and you were explaining to me, this is nuts. And it actually worked out really well. I like I I had to eat my words there. I was like, oh well.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

But again, you know, it's it was all a matter of, you know, taking a bit of obvious risk, and you know, but again, I built this primarily for me, but I thought about the option of that if you have to obviously sell it, that you're not you're not stuck. And to be honest, you know, most of the time people they say that the yes, it is very custom, but at the same time, it is something that most people like. So if one day I decide for any reason to sell it, I'm hoping I should not have as much problem because of being so private, I mean so um particular? Yeah, so particular and you know custom. Um and really as a thing, I just um I just obviously love it. And uh the whole idea was, and this was one of the things that we Doug did. We talked about, I said, Doug, if I want to build it in a more of a normal way, it would cost me so much less. I don't want to give the numbers now, but you know, it would cost me so much less. But if I want to make it a bit more custom for what for my liking, yes, I'm spending this much money more. But now if I spend this much money more, then I get distinct for it. Every day I want to come home. And in all honesty, it has done that.

SPEAKER_03 44:36

Yeah, I that's that's an interesting thing too from uh say a contractor's view viewpoint, you coming in and changing things, right? It it's an added cost, you know. And a lot of the times people won't accept that that they come in and they want to change something, but well, why does it cost more? And it's like, well, because you have to go back and you have to change this, this, this, this. You were very accommodating in that aspect, you know. If if you were told up front, well, this is gonna cost more, you were like, okay, you know. Then you make it. Or or of course you want to know how much, right? And then you can say, okay, like is this worth it or not? You know. Um, yeah. I found that too. So you have to keep an open mind about that sort of thing. Oh, for sure as well.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

And as you remember, you know, even uh I was asking the contractors, every single one of them, that what I should do next. Yeah. Uh but anyway, of course, this podcast went a bit longer than I was hoping for, but I'm hoping that it was well worth it. Now, as usual, that I normally say this, you know, at the very end, again, the best way to get a hold of us again is through the email by info at lifeworkshop.ca. And if you check the website, you know, normally you get most of the information and things um there, and all the podcast episodes are there, as well as because we put them on the podcast um uh platforms, you know, a little bit slower, but everything is on the uh YouTube and uh other website. And as always, again, life is simple, we make it complicated. And to do me a favor, if you want to support us, please share this podcast with other friends. And I'm hoping that you know everybody finds it kind of more useful. And the question of the day at the very end is this again, do you ask questions more often from your friends, or you think that oh, I'm not gonna bother them? Because remember, a lot of time we create the limitations on us, not others. We think we are bothering people by asking questions or other things or by asking for help. As a matter of fact, most often, most often, not all the time, but most often people are willing to help, and it's a kind of a validity when you know you just ask them to help you and you know, ask a question to see their, you know, to to see what they have to say. So, but again, what's the limiting factor? It's you or the others. But anyways, so if you can ask them that do you ask enough questions from other people when you want to do something? Again, thanks everybody and uh love you guys and take care. Bye bye.