How to Know if a Dream is Worth Pursuing

 In this episode, Katherine Craddock walks through the five dream types — Fantasy, Seasonal, Grind, Real, and Completed — and how to tell which one you’re holding. It’s a simple framework for anyone trying to figure out if a dream is from desire, pressure, timing, or actual calling. If you’ve been wrestling with clarity, this will help you name what you’re carrying and what to do with it. 

Transcript

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Hi, welcome to the Dream Blueprint. I'm Catherine Craddock, and today we're going to be talking about how to know if a dream is worth pursuing. We all start with dreams that don't fit sometimes, and that's totally normal. We are dreamers, we're imaginers, we get excited about our ideas, but not all ideas are good ideas, and you don't know your dream until you walk towards it. So that's sort of the problem of we have to balance, right? If we don't know our calling until we test it, but we also don't want to invest time, money, talent, resources, and suffering and perseverance into a dream that never should have been. So we need to test out our dreams and figure out the truth about them. Because some dreams are pure fantasy, they will never happen no matter how hard you work. Some are seasonal. You might not be in the right season for that dream, or the season may have passed you by. Some are dreams that feel like grinding, and there's other dreams that feel like every door is an open door, and all it's totally greenlit for you. The best dreams of all, of course, are the ones that are real and they feel like a completed assignment from God that makes sense. So this episode is about learning which dream it is that you're in and which dream that maybe you should step out of to open up the right moment and the right dream for this season of your life and this time in your life. The first kind of dream I want to talk about is a dream that drives me up the wall. And I want to be nice about it, but I'm not usually nice about it. So I'm trying my best here. But this is the fantasy dream. And in Proverbs 12, 11, God warns us against this. Solomon warns us against this by saying that those who work their land will have abundant food. But those who chase fantasies have no sense. And we really want to be doing the work in our dreams so that we can have an abundant and fruitful life instead of chasing foolish fantasies. Foolish fantasies is about aesthetics, it's ego-driven, it's about something in someone that's unhealed, it's impossible, and it's an identity prop. But as fun as these Instagram dreams where you're like, that's not really them, or boy, they are trying so hard in the wrong lane, or they're absolutely crazy. The problem with these fantasy dreams is that people invest their identities and their reputations in them and also their whole families. And these fantasy dreams are the Bible says they have no sense, they're foolish and they're dangerous. Fantasy dreams look beautiful on the outside because they're built on optics and not on ownership. They're dreams that we chase because they make us feel like someone, they soothe an insecurity and they don't build a future. You can tell a fantasy dream because it requires performance and not perseverance. There was a new employee who joined our real estate team. This is a number of years ago, before we had the outer trappings of what was going on in our inner work. And she was excited because she heard on the phone about the dreams that we were building, and she had big dreams for herself, but she wasn't willing to do the work that it required to build those dreams into something lasting. So when she met my husband, she didn't like how the grind looked like in person. She looked down on him because he brought his lunch in a bag and his car was an older model car. That wasn't the optic that she was looking for. Even though he was the team leader, even though he was running the business, even though he was a multimillionaire, she was looking for those quick optics to heal something inside of her that was broken. So when her first commission check came in, she immediately leased a fancy U SUV, she bought designer clothes, and she put on the aesthetic of success. But within a year, her borrowed aesthetic crushed her with debt. She had to quit her job and move her family completely out of the area into a rental. Meanwhile, we saved and invested, and a year or so later, we bought that same kind of car in cash and we built and owned our dream farm in the same community where we've been quietly working all along. She could have had ownership of her dream, the real dream she wanted, if she hadn't chased the immediacy and the short-term optics and the feeling of being ahead. So for one brief aesthetic moment, she traded a lifetime of those aesthetics. Those people that are doing that, they rarely get to keep it. This is really common in the real estate world. I know because we had a flip that we were part of this problem, right? When we first started out. The kind of glam flip dreamers, they watch a lot of HG like I did, and they decide they're gonna flip houses. And what they think that job is, is making this house choosing luxury tiles and luxury lighting fixtures and show a casing to the world their interior decorating and interior design skills. But that's not what actually makes fixing really boring structural problems. And they're like the roof or the HVAC or the foundation. And these glam flippers, and I'm guilty of on what we did this on one of our very first flips, they end up sinking tens of thousands of dollars into trendy wallpapers and statement pieces, and they lose money, a lot of money, and that's not glamorous at all. These fantasy dreams, they're not harmless. They families, they devastate businesses. You have to ask your friends for loans that you can't pay back, and then your reputation never recovers. And so even if it feels good in the moment, perfect image out there, it can cost you everything in the end. And that's why I'm so passionate about this. If you are putting on a and putting on an image, it's gonna be good for you in the short term and it's gonna devastate you in the long term. So it's much better to face the pain of, oh my gosh, this house that we're trying to flip, we actually have to take out all the fancy finishes and we have to, and we have to pay back our debt and to go and humble ourselves to our friends and say, we really messed up on this one. That's what my husband and I had to do on that flip. And we had to learn a really painful lesson, and oh hopefully a lesson we never have to learn again. Some dreams, better things, some dreams are seasonal dreams, they're really beautiful and they're a type of fantasy all their own, but they're tied to a life stage. So these seasonal dreams, they're not failures, they're gifts for a moment. They carry us through a chapter and they give us hope when we need it. So I was saying, I need a bigger house to host more things. And I had there was a very successful businessman who had raised triplets, and he said to me, I was like, I used to host constantly and now this is holding me back, and I need a bigger house. And he said, Are you hosting less because your house is small? Or are you in a season where your kids are older and you guys are instead of inviting the community in, you're out in the community on the sports fields. And I was like, Oh my gosh, it turned out he was right. Built the bigger house, and we still do not have the time to host like I did for yours. It wasn't about the house, it wasn't about my hospitality, it was about my dream of community. That's what the dream was, that's what the core of the dream was. And I realized I could find it outside as well as inside my home. It was about the season. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 says in the Bible, there's a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. So it seems like my need for a peace and quiet, they dissolve when the season changes. The third kind of dream that I want to talk about today is the grind dream and knowing when a dream just really isn't working, permanently not working, no fruit at all. There are no green lights, there's no confirmation, we are literally just taking a pickaxe. These are the dreams that we keep pushing even when nothing is working. When we tell ourselves, oh, it's faith, and if I keep digging, I'm gonna find the diamond on the other side. But sometimes it's just and that stubbornness in the face of solid no answers can keep us from being available to the yeses that God has for us. So, one example of this isn't a negative on my son that I'm gonna tell this example about. It's more about what's the dream. And in the grind phase, he tried everything. He did golf, he did chess, he did football, he did soccer, he did robotics, he did Legos, he did swimming, he did archery, he did fencing, he did baseball, he even did basketball, he did every sport and every activity that we could possibly think for him to do. And he wasn't bad at those things, he had a great time, he loves learning different things, but he wasn't greenlit in any single one of them. Nobody said, Come join the next level, or wow, you're really talented in this particular right? Nothing stuck, nothing rose, and nothing confirmed itself. But then he stepped into acting and the whole room changed, even when he was a little kid, patience from entire public comments from strangers, he got massive awards all times, accepted into exclusive programs, he got scholarships, leading roles that were for him and for his talent, and every time he performed, the room crackled with life. He had it in that area of the world. Everyone can see it. It isn't subtle, it's not ambiguous, it's obvious, and that told us this is the dream worth investing in. Yes, hobbies are great, but this is the right dream for us you. It was confirmed by multiple witnesses over multiple years and multiple times. This was and is his thing. The problem is you love something, but it also is not green-lit for you. And I've seen other students, and I'm gonna use acting, singing, dancing as an example because it's one of the most all love, we all love music, but that doesn't mean we all can all sing on a performance level, right? This is the difference, and again, it gets back to directive. If you don't weigh your dream, the difference between a grind dream and a greenlit dream, a dream that is just for fun and you enjoy it, and a dream that you invest your life, your time, your talent, your treasures in. I played basketball in eighth grade and I loved it. I watched Hoosures and Hoop Dreams, but I'm 5'2. I tapped out at 5'2. I was never destined for the WNBA. So loving something doesn't mean that you're designed for it. I about my track son. He is adopted into our family, and so I was able to clearly see the difference in biology between him and my other children. What I learned was that he was born with a six-pack. Humans can work out every day of their lives, and they will never look like him. He has speed and power that he was born with. It can't be manufactured, can never beat hardworking talent, and dreams cannot override our design. The grind dream is about proving, and the real dream is about becoming. The grind dream is builders laboring in nonsensical vein. You can be sacrificing and persevering and sweating, but God hasn't told you that that's what you should be doing with, and you can miss the that you're supposed to be doing. The real dream is aligned with your design, your wiring, your fruit, your green lights, your reality. And when you live in it, even if you suffer, even if you persevere through hard times, there's a centeredness, there's a beauty, and there's a poetry, and there's that moment of like, ah, this is what I was made to do. I was young, I was 13 years old. I've almost never told this story to anybody. And I went to church, and that Sunday there was a missionary, and he talked about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and how when she called her into a very special mission. And that day I did not tell anybody except for myself. I felt God calling me to be a missionary, and I really specifically thought that he was calling me to be a missionary to Mexico. Again, I didn't tell anyone, but I quietly started to learn Spanish with a new fervor. And I thought that I pictured myself going and living in a village in some third world area and serving people and teaching them and playing with kids and doing meaningful work. And I got pretty fluent, was taking conversational Spanish in college, and I met my husband. And the weird part about this calling to be a missionary in Mexico is I love where I and I felt like a Northern Virginia with Northern Virginia, which is hustle culture and high drive, and I knew how to thrive in that. And when I met my husband, he said that he called to be a missionary, and I said, Well, me too. But then we felt called together to be missionaries to Northern Virginia. And so I put that Mexico dream, sorry, I'm gonna really far back in my head. And I thought, oh, maybe I misheard and I'm being a missionary. And for 17 years in Northern Virginia, my husband and I worked in full-time ministry with teenagers and young adults. We had this seismic shift into the real estate industry, which I'll get into in future episodes. But I I found myself, it was a kind of ministry too, helping families find homes, creating stability for people in transition and helping them make the most important decision of their lives. In the course of doing real estate work, we did to many, many conferences in Mexico, actually. And there was the conference were going off on their own separate thing, and the men in the conference were going off on another separate thing, and I missed the bus. I missed the women's bus. So I went back to my room all by myself because the men were doing their thing, and I was like, I'm just gonna use this time as alone time with God. And I got down on my knees and I prayed, and I was like, God, what would you like to say to me? What would you like to show me here now that I'm here in Mexico all alone? And I heard him very, very clearly say to me, the calling wasn't what you thought it was, was it? And I looked around me and I saw that I was Mexico and that I was having an impact in the lives of all of the people at this conference. And as I reflected, I realized that I had to go for almost going to these conferences and these masterminds. And I had was called to serve in a world kind of way, and I was really uncomfortable. Actually, God got me in a way that was aligned with who I am. He called me to use my skill sets in the real estate world, in marketing and in this higher striving world to a totally different group of Mexico than I ever anticipated, and it fit exactly how I was designed and who I am. The calling wasn't wrong. I just didn't have the whole picture. It was just misinterpreted, had never changed the dream. He clarified it, did do exactly what he had called me to do when I was 13 years old. The Bible verse about this that comes to 158. This is to my very much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. It wasn't my glory, it was for his glory to produce real fruit. Real dreams fit your wiring. Real dreams feel like obedience and not performance, but they also fit in a way that moves you of gratitude for God giving you the assignment that He's given you, even if it involves something different than you planned. We really need to ask ourselves these questions when we examine the dream that we're about to pursue. Is this dream a fantasy? Is it built on optics and ego and identity? If so, it's probably not what you should be doing. Is this dream is it tied to a life stage that is changed? That means it's figuring out what I'm actually trying to fulfill. What is that I'm trying to solve? Is this dream a grind acquiring force and effort, or is it flowing out of me and led by the Holy Spirit guiding you through life? Is this dream real? Is it aligned with my wiring, my design, my confirmation? And then we're gonna talk about the most precious kind of dream at all of all, which is a dream. Is this dream completed? Is it something that rose up for a season and is now finished? Because not every dream is meant to be kept. Some are meant to teach you who if you build your life on rock and not sand, if you build with integrity, patience, you'll find that the dream that lasts is the one that was never about optics at all. It was about becoming the kind of person who could hold that big of a dream. So this week, again, I want you to name your dream honestly. Is it a fantasy? Is it seasonal? Are you just grinding a way that isn't for you? Or is this is it real and you need to pursue it? Or is it a dream that's ended and it's time to ask God for what your next dream is? Write it down, say it out loud, tell someone you trust, because clarity is the first step toward action, and courage is the first step towards a dream life that you and you alone were meant to build. Let's see you next time in episode six about what happens when a good dream, a real dream, a God honoring dream, dies. Until then, keep dreaming.