Declutter Fatigue, Family Drama and Mother's Day

In this episode of The Honest to Girl Truth podcast, Culture and Nicole get honest about declutter fatigue, marrying into family drama, and what we like to do on Mother's Day.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

So counting the minutes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Counting counting counting the minutes or setting a timer. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Or setting a timer.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Maybe I should set a timer for him. I'm serious because it maybe his brain gets so overwhelmed where I am very OCD with my brain. Like I go through the house with a with a mental checklist.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

See, the checklists for me, I realize that I can take the time to write it down. But when I start to go to like the first and second one, um I'll I'll feel really accomplished by finishing the first or second one, but then I look at everything else and I have to stop and pause and I have to take a break because I get I'm like, oh my god, I actually did something, and then I take a break, and then the break becomes all day. Right. And then I look at the list and like, okay, well, I'm proud of myself for getting two things done, but I really should have done all of it. But because I'm so just like fatigued from having to think and do everything, but you also have a big house. You have a much bigger house than me. You have a lot of stuff. But remember when you came over the last few times and the house is spotless? Yes. It's because the pressure to make sure everything is clean because somebody else is coming over, it it motivates you. And so then I do it. And so that's why when you said let's pot at my house every Tuesday, I was like, Oh, you love it because you can keep the house. It actually helps motivate me, but I didn't do it today because Chris was home. And plus today's short day, we were gonna have to rush here like 45 minutes later.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

I think your mind will be calmer, and I think if you maintain it, it'll be little things every day. Like, remember you did that whole little Monday, Wednesday. I do think you need a housekeeper though.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

For sure. I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Because then you're gonna be like, oh, she's like I love my clean up before my housekeeper. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I did too. I it's been a year and a half almost two years, August, since we've had a housekeeper.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Yeah, I in fact, mine's coming tomorrow, which is great because um Mother's Day's coming up. It's a little treat to my and that's what we need to talk about. Yes, okay, so what we really want to get honest about today is Mother's Day is on Sunday. So we wanted to do a little what we're expecting, and then we'll recap on Tuesday and see what it was. Um because have you let me ask you this have you always had good Mother's Days? Do you have any bad Mother's Day stories?

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Um I feel like I don't have any bad ones because I just have super low expectations. And you have no in fact we don't correct.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Which not like I No, I know what you mean. Right, nothing. I wish Chris had his mom. I wish I had my dad. But you don't have to worry about that. Like there's no splitting.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Yeah. And my mom doesn't my mom doesn't want to hang out.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

I your mom was like how my mom was. Like you have a I have always felt pressure from my husband's family. I have always been on the shit list because I, to be honest, have probably only gone to one or two mother's days and it was prior to kids. Um, I always prioritized my mom, even when we were dating. You should. It's your mom. I know. And let me let me say, I love my mother-in-law. I will do anything for my mother-in-law. I will treat her like I treated my mom when my mom was dying of cancer. And I don't say that lightly because that was the hardest thing, and I would give my mother-in-law all of that. Other than nobody else in my family would get that other than my husband and kids. So I love her to death. Her family has always put a lot of pressure on me for Mother's Day. Um, his family's in Orange County, and it's always like an 11 o'clock brunch or a noon brunch. So you're talking, now I'm up early. By the time I drive there, and by the time I drive home, my whole day is gone. My mom has had cancer for years, so I always prioritized her. And to be honest, when I had kids, sometimes I just want to lay at a pool with a cocktail.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

That every Mother's Day, that's what I want to do. I just want to lay at a pool and relax. Um, so Mother's Day's always been kind of a stressful thing. I have definitely had bad Mother's Days because of family drama. Meaning, like, not like the times I would go to his family is then I didn't feel comfortable or necessarily welcomed. And this was years ago. I don't think I would feel that now. So then it's like, well, that was a waste of a day. Like, why would I want to spend a Mother's Day feeling uncomfortable or like people are talking about me or whatever it is?

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Um So wait, when you're there or the times that you've been there, they're not are they celebrating all the moms? Are they celebrating you? Or are you just there because they're celebrating the matriarch of the family?

SPEAKER_02 4:27

So from what I've been told from my sister-in-law recently is that they celebrate like the matriarch, but they definitely celebrate my sister-in-law. They have always celebrated her on Mother's Day. Um, one of the last Mother's Day I went to, I was pregnant and was told a long time ago. Yeah, was told that, well, I'm not really a mom yet, so we'll celebrate you next year. Stop it. So that was kind of like, and I'm not saying I don't think they would treat me like that now. Like we've come a long way, and I I do believe they love me and all of that, but um, yeah, it's just like I don't a hundred percent always feel comfortable around my husband's family for a multitude of reasons, some that are probably my own fault getting in my head. Whatever the reason, Mother's Day truly, I feel like is one of the times where the husbands really doed on you, and it's kind of like they acknowledge it. So I want to feel completely relaxed and comfortable that day. So, no, I do not celebrate Mother's Day with his family. It's been a thing. I would like to more in the future. I'm more open to it because I have lost my mom and they've really stepped up and been close to me. Um, so that may change this year. We're gonna be out of town, so I'm not. But um I just probably make it like in every other year or every couple of years. I've tried that too. His family's like you're all in or you're all out. That's the other, and that's why it's hard. It's like, like Thanksgiving. I used to rotate Thanksgivings, and then the years we went, great. The years we didn't, it was like, oh, they're not going, they're with her family. Um, they're very much, they're of they're a smaller family, they're used to doing everything together. And I will say, anyone who's married into his family lives within a 15 to 20 minute radius. Actually, closer. There's only one who lives maybe 20 minutes away. So, yeah, if you're all in Carlsbad, of course I would swing by for brunch and then go do what I need to do. But we're in Carlsbad here in Orange County. You're talking a whole day. Do you know what I mean? So it's not fair for the people that are closer to be like, well, they make it happen or they well, yeah, because you could pop to your mom and his family and this and that all in one day. So, you know, that wasn't always great or easy in the beginning. Um, and I have been told that they still feel a certain way about it, but I don't know, that was told to me secondhand. I'm su I do know there's some family members it probably bothers. And I think the core family members, it doesn't. It doesn't bother his mom anymore and his aunt, who are like the matriarchs, and um his aunt is very loving and and kind to us, so I don't know, I just gotta do my best each year.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

What was the do you recall the best Mother's Day you've ever had? Or are they all kind of the same?

SPEAKER_02 7:18

So, um probably once um Do we have a landscaper coming over here? The best.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

I'm gonna roll up the window.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

I don't know if he's coming this way. Okay. Uh one year with my mom, we got a cabana. I love a pool. I love a cabana and I love a cocktail. Um, we took my mom to a cabana at the pool in Carlsbad at one of the hotels. As far as like a Mother's Day with my mom, that was probably one of the best. She's gone now, so those are super nostalgic. Um, best Mother's Day with Rob. I mean, they're all pretty he does do pretty good now. I did have a bad Mother's Day where early married he worked because another mom wanted the day off. And he's like, Well, she wants the day off, she's a mom. I'm a mom. Nope. Um And then you know what I used to do too that you learn when you're young, married? I used to have his mom over on Mother's Day. You know, that's another mistake you make when you're young. And then I'm cooking and cleaning and waiting on everybody, and I'm gonna be a mom like your mom. And I know I have boys, so I will have to deal with this. Go do what you need to do for your wife. Go do what you need. That's don't ignore me. You know, celebrate the day before or the weekend before. But on Mother's Day, I'm fine to be without my kids. I'll have Rob take me to Palm Desert for the weekend, or it then becomes his responsibility when the kids get older. I don't hold so much value on the day of things like I think my husband's family does. It's like if we're making the effort to do things outside of that day and just spending time and making someone feel loved is what's important. In fact, if if Rob had to work now, because we've been married so long, okay, celebrate me on Saturday. Like it's just that day. Do you know what I mean? It's making people feel special. So the harder mother's days were when I was trying to make his family happy. I am 18, 19 years in with Rob. I've let that go. I am who I am, I'm a I love them, and they take me as they want. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'll try to make an effort because I do value them, but if we're like going out of town or something, then see, you never had to deal with that. I know. Ever and it's a thing culture. No, I I bet. I know. I bet. It's like probably the first two years of marriage. It's the biggest fights we had were because of family on both sides.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

That's one thing that I I wish our kids had more grandparents, but I do know that it's a luxury to just be able to have the schedule we have. If my mom wants to hang out, if things are happening on our side of the family, we're good because my husband only has his sister. Yeah. And my sister-in-law is amazing. Like she makes up for every single relative that we have. She really is so good. So that and she loves us. And so it's I it's not uh lost on me that our situation is very ideal. However, it would be nice to have, you know, other another set of grandparents or in-laws that I can, you know, dote on and and have girls' days with my mom and my mother-in-law, which we're never gonna have, but my sister-in-law, like I said, makes up for all of that.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Yeah, it's hard. It j bringing two families together was not easy for us. I mean, I had drama leading up to my wedding, I had drama at my wedding, I had drama after my wedding, and I will say 99.9% of it is miscommunication. It was somebody feeling cited by the other family. Like, oh, well, she did this with her family, she didn't do it. That's or they did this and they didn't do that. And all miscommunication, because you know me, I'm I mean, I literally invited my mother-in-law to wedding dress shopping, cake tasting. I made a huge effort to include her because she has boys and I love her, and that is not the norm. Like, I know a lot of women who don't include their mother-in-laws, and that was important to me. So then to have people like feeling certain ways about things and you know, gossiping and um, yeah, like I his whole family didn't come to my bridal shower. What? Yeah, they didn't come to my first baby shower. What? Yeah, and a lot of stuff, and to this day, I don't even know why. I even said to my mother-in-law recently, like I was talking to my sister-in-law, and she goes, Oh my god, I forgot none of them came to your bridal shower. I go, or my baby shower. She goes, Why? Why? And I go, I still don't know. It's like 18 years later. And it was something happened that I don't, somebody probably got rubbed the wrong way. Nobody took the initiative to talk to me because they were coming down to my bridal shower, and it was like on the way, an emergency happened and they couldn't come. And then the last person was his cousin to text me day of like, oh, I can't come either. So it wasn't even just a I'm not going, it was a day of not going. Wow. So it was super hurtful.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

That is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

And so, you know, then you lead into the wedding. Whatever was brewing behind the scenes, that I still, honest to God, don't know what they're upset about, obviously carried into the wedding because I had my mother-in-law stormed off in tears at my wedding. And then Okay, is Rob the baby? Well, kind of. She had a kid when Rob was 16, it's a whole different situation. Um, and it has nothing to do with him being a favorite of the baby. Got it. What I know about his family is they do a lot of things their way, and you either like, which has literally been told to me by my sister, you like go with what they want, or you're going to have some tension. And I, you know me, I'm not one to like not meanly not give in, but like, hey, I have a family, like I'm doing my best.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Like, you're not, if someone's gonna tell you you have to do something, you're gonna kind of sway the other way.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

It's like and and with the wedding, I know people heard about not being invited and stuff. His whole family was invited, I'll say that. But I know like his mom wanted certain friends, and it's like my dad was paying for the wedding. My dad is not wealthy, he happened to have some money, a certain amount put for this wedding that he luckily got right before. So I was very mindful of budget. I didn't invite friends, like we really kept it tight, and so I'll be loyal to my dad all day. So, so like miscommunication after the wedding, my mother-in-law was like, What's the deal? She thought when we were all down in the bridal room, the photographer took us all outside to take photos. And so by the time she came down, we were gone. Oh shit. She goes up to her family, and somehow she got in her head and they fed it, or they got in her, I don't know what happened, that we saw her and ran away.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

So that was brewing at the wedding. I didn't know it, I just felt coldness from them. Like none of his family came up and talked to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

No one said anything and no one asked you. That's the weird thing, is that just go up and say you do that? That's the weird thing, is that if someone and this is how friendships die too. Yep. Is that if you're going to assume the worst about somebody, somebody that you love, quote unquote love. Yeah. Where how to like that's on you. Why are you even friends with that? That's on you. Why would you even think that of me? Like, no, I I that's the thing I don't understand. Is like, why think the worst of somebody that you care about that you're friends with or that you're family with, or whatever, and then you think the worst? Like, I would never think that.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

And let's say you're getting to know me because we were together three years when I got married. Okay, let's give them that. Say to Rob or say to me. For sure. Did Nicole leave your mom out? Absolutely. Oh my god, she would never. And I said, my sister-in-law was with me when we went to take pictures. I said, Okay, so even if you thought I was an asshole, do you think Sarah's an asshole? Because my sister-in-law is like very higher on a pedestal than me, which I don't care anymore. But it's like, okay, you think Sarah's so high up there and the best daughter-in-law and cousin and all that, do you think she would do you think she'd allow me to do that?

SPEAKER_01 15:03

But even then, like, why how come somebody like why didn't your sister-in-law say something to her? Why didn't when when she found out maybe something that happened, why didn't she say, of course not? Yeah, mom, like, no, that would never, Nicole would never do that. This is what happened. Like, people need to speak up and say, did or or not that I don't know your sister-in-law, but does she enjoy being the favorite? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Because it has I things have shifted where I'm closer to his family, but literally, I just went away with my sister-in-law and I said a month ago, you're up here and I'm down here. I go, the difference is 18 years later, is I don't care. Yeah. I am a loving person. I said this to her on vacation. I'm a loving person. I would do anything for my family. I would do anything for Rob's family. I've always been respectful for through all the crap I felt. I've never yelled or been rude or kept combative. So at this point, you accept me for who I am, or you don't. Like that's that's becoming into your 40s. Wait, did you wait?

SPEAKER_01 16:06

You went to Ireland with your mother-in-law too.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law. Okay. And so this all came back out full circle where she said, Oh, where you weren't at Easter. And I said, Oh, I know. It's I go, you know what? It's a thing, isn't it? And we're talking 18 years old. I've always felt this. And she said, Well, yeah. And I said, Well, I, you know what? I don't know what to do anymore. Like, I do my best. I go to what I can. I go to Thanksgiving. I always go to Christmas. I try to make birthdays. They celebrate everybody's birthday, but I can't go to everything. And she, and I said, and then you're like up here, like, oh, because they live so close, right? Well, she said, because I essentially do what they ask. I'm at everything. I go to everything. And she said, I respect that you have boundaries. I kind of wish I had more boundaries. So she kind of was like, you either have to be like fine with it, and that's you have those boundaries and you don't care, or if it bothers you, you need to go to more things. And at 43, 18 years in, it doesn't bother me where I'm gonna do things that are disingenuous. If I'm there and I can go, I will go. I'm not gonna go to have clout to show you that I'm there. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm there because I genuinely and I go to the big things, the graduations and the major milestone birthdays and every Christmas Eve. We can never miss a Christmas Eve. Rob has said it's huge for his family. I would love to go to Mammoth for Christmas. Wake up in the snow. It'll never happen. I'm okay with that. So like Easter, any Easter's like, come on. I'm always camping or so, so yes, you've avoided all that. When you first get married, a lot of drama with the family. And then it's kind of it does calm down, but I know there are certain members who clearly still feel that because my sister-in-law told me it like a month ago on our trip.

unknown 17:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

And but then you get older and you're like, you know what? I'm not gonna play the game. I'm a loving person. I've been with Rob 18 years. We have two kids. We've built a beautiful life. If that's not enough, and I think the I would say, I think pretty much all the family now knows I'm a good wife to their nephew, son, or whatever. And I'm raising good kids, and that's it. You know what I mean? Like, what more can you ask? And coincidentally, on that trip, I had a wonderful conversation with my mother-in-law where I brought it up. Hey, we had this conversation. Do you feel this way? I felt I've always felt you guys felt this way. 18 years later, this is still going on. Like I was like tearing up. Like 18 years later, I still have to prove myself to your family. And we had a beautiful moment where she hugged me and she said, You're good with me. You worry about me. And she said, and my mother-in-law is not a mushy person. She said, You are my daughter. And I lost my mom a year and a half ago, and I know she's really stepped up. And that to me was huge. So the rest, it's like, can I make every aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, cousin, third cousin, second cousin, cousin-in-law happy? Yeah, freaking make yourself sick.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

So you're going to the pool on Mother's Day and So I'm not going to the family on Mother's Day. You are my daughter. All right, great. I'm not gonna see you on Mother's Day. And I said to her, I will celebrate you before.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

And I'm good. And I said to her, I will make more of an effort if it's important to you. Oh, that's good. And I said, maybe next year we will come. We could do maybe I'll camp in San Clemente. Yeah. And I could do both. Rob happened to book Pachanga campground, and it's already set. Um, but like, see, I'm not an asshole. You give to me, I give. I said to her, I will do better going forward. I said to my sister, I will do better going forward if I can. See, that's what Rob needs to learn when he's cleaning the house.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

And that's what you're learning. We're all growing. You, I will tell you, you avoided a lot of shit with families. I I honestly thank God that I literally married the best man I could have ever married. Even out of all the people that I've dated, he's literally the best guy I could have married because our situation was just so perfect for my crazy family. And he's just so accepting and he's patient and he's loving.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Um, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

So you're like me.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

If someone's like, you're gonna do this or you're gonna do that, you're not gonna purposely go left, but you're gonna do what you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Yeah, I'm I mean, I am very, Chris will say, like diplomatic. I like to make people happy. It's not a big deal for me to have things go my way, but if you're gonna be malicious or mean, but not even your way.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Like you're talking, this is everyone does this in the beginning. In the beginning, you would feel that. 18 years later, you're like, I do not want to drive to fucking LA and sit in traffic on another holiday with my kids. Kids, you know, let's put kids into it. That's I did it all till we had kids. It's like, you know, one Christmas Eve, my child was like, I don't know, two, was so overly tired because we don't leave till midnight. This has been a thing every year.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

And do you think anyone cares if he needs a nap or I didn't get any of that grace? Like the new, like his cousins who have kids, they get, oh, we're we're not opening presents because they're napping at eight o'clock at night. We didn't get that grace. We were like up all night and then we have to drive home. And I remember crying one Christmas because poor Braden was crying all the way home. He couldn't wind down, he didn't go to bed at 2 a.m. Then we all got up for Christmas. My whole Christmas was shot because I was so exhausted. He was a wreck, and I did that for years. Is that not enough? Do you know what I mean? Does anyone acknowledge that I shut my mouth and did it? Not once was I like, we need to wait so I can put him down for a nap. Or we can't go to dinner at 6 30 because we're not gonna get home till midnight. We did it. So I absolutely did what I could. So it's like, give a little grace if I can't go to like Easter. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 21:58

You avoided all. That yeah, yeah, Chris is great because we do a lot of things with my family, but he will also put the brakes on if it's something that is like too late, or he'll say, Oh, sorry, we gotta go, or if something's happening with his sister that we plan, his sister, like I my family we do a lot because there's a lot of us, but whenever there's anything that we can do with his sister, that will be priority. Right. And I'm okay with that. Yeah. Because that's his only family, and so why not? Like, I'm not gonna be a jerk and be like, well, no, this is what we do every year. That would be me in the role with a bigger family.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

I would be like, no, this is and I have never said to it no to his mom for anything ever. Like, that is different. It's his mom. Like, I've I cried on my wedding day to his mom and hugged her and said, I'll never forget it. I looked at her and I just said, Thank you, thank you for your son. Like, I love him so much. I love you. Gave him to me. Like, but all the external fear, it's too much. You cannot make everybody happy. You just gotta worry about your family and the mother and and the father, and um, and that was and the and the yeah, so give me a break on Mother's Day. Seriously. I will I will try my best. And I love, I mean, I've been with him so long. I love his family now. We're in a great place, but I think it's very normal. I'm not abnormal to say there were bumps and roads and miscommunication and you know, blending hol. You know, he's one of his cousins just had their first baby a couple years ago, and now she's starting to feel it. Like, oh shoot, you're schlepping the kids around and you're going to five houses and they need a nap. And you know, it's not easy. You can say what you would do until you're in that position. Yeah. And then you tack that word down here and they're up there. Nope. Everyone just needs to be more flexible. Be flexible, that's the word. Flexible. Flexible. And you know, Mother's Day is weird for me because my mom was sick for so long. And then, you know what's interesting? I lost her a year and a half ago. Last year was the first Mother's Day without her. I am more sad this year. It's hitting me more this year. Even I was looking at cards that said my daughter to I just I was in such a fog the first year. And I've heard this with grief that you feel it more the second year. And I'm really missing her this year. And to be honest, if I was home watching reality TV all day, I'd probably enjoy that. I just, I just need a minute with all the mom stuff.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Yeah, I don't like to do anything. Hold on, I have to sneeze.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Oh, go out there, I don't want to get sick.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Excuse me. No, I get it. For my cabana. Yeah, exactly. No, I don't like to do anything. So typically our Mother's Day, my mother's day is I wake up, they give me all handwritten drawn cards. Oh, I love it all. They'll go to, you know, I don't drink coffee anymore, but I'll take a seat. Yeah, that's so depressing. We not ever talk about that. They will go to um somewhere to get me something. And so I'll get something yummy from them, and then we'll spend the whole day just lounging around the house. Love it. I will not clean anything, I will not cook anything. The house will be a wreck because you know nobody else does it. And I have to be okay with that. Yes, because I can't have any stress. Yep. And then my husband will offer me to go to a place that's open for a massage or something. Oh, yeah, you do do that. Yes, and so I'll either do that or get my nails done, and then we'll come home and then we'll probably order food in because I don't like to go out. This is like sounding purpose. I don't like to go out for dinner. I don't like to go out for anything. I'd rather be in my PJs and eat on the couch too. That's what we do, and that has been my Mother's Day for probably every year. Amazing. Every year. When we will go out for Father's Day, we'll go out to dinner or a we like to get dressed up and we go do that. But Rob likes to go out for Father's Day.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Because we're so men are not as overwhelmed as us. So they want it. We just want to. I always just say a pool and a cocktail. It could be our pool. I don't care. Barbecue and walk me over a cocktail to our pool. We can bring our pool over to your house. We're going to bring the pool. Chris, like I told you we'd use it again. Just the two of us.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

You just do the two of us in the pool.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

It used to be for years, my mom, and this is hard, brunch was big in our family. So up until my mom passed away, every year we went to brunch. As a kid, I went to brunch with my mom every Mother's Day. And then Rob and I used to take her to brunch. So I've shifted that. Now I'm like, I want um just him to make, he makes really good crepes. That's our new thing since my mom passed. And I just want to go to a pool. And he booked pachanga. We're gonna go camping with the trailer, like clamping. Um, and that will be fun for the kids because we've had a busy few months. So we're just gonna chill and camp, and um, we're gonna use the pool at Pachanga, and there's a water slide, and I think so. Mother's Day is becoming it's a new tradition for me, and it's gonna be a pool and a cocktail. Do they give you gifts? They do. So they make you stuff, they make me stuff, and then Rob takes them out. Um, I'm really into Gorgiana right now. So is my daughter. I'm so hip. Um, they I've been saying go there because when I leave them free, oh, yeah, free ball to go to like anywhere else. Jake, God love them, my nine-year-old picks out the most hideous jewelry. Sure. I have these like butterfly earrings from Ride Aid. He's like, why haven't you worn them? Yeah, because I'll get a rash.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Yeah, Mom.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

I'll wear them on Mother's Day. Just just attach it to a necklace. Oh my god, it would be so much cuter. So I'm like, go there. Anything in there I'll like. I don't care what they pick out. So though I know they went there because I saw it on the credit card statement. Um, yeah, so we'll just do crepes and gifts and barbecue and go to the pool. That's nice. That's what I want to do every Mother's Day going forward while trying to possibly squeeze his mom's family in.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Yeah, like every every other year, every two years.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

I don't think they'd be happy with that. But maybe they could have half a day. Yeah, but that's hard too, because it's so far. But maybe like we do 11 and be home by two, and then I could go to the pool and I mean there's we'll see what next year brings. It could happen.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

It's just you're not saying no, you're just setting boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Well, I've always had boundaries, that's why I don't think they liked about me, but I'm saying I'm more open because our relationships have shifted significantly over the years and significantly since my mom passed away. And I am very loyal to anyone who was in my life at the time. You're included in that, friends who showed up. I mean, you went to my mom's funeral, I had friends go to her funeral. Um, that was the hardest time in my life. So, anyone who rallied for me, like I will show up for them. And his whole family showed up at my mom's funeral um and was very supportive. And I think that meant the world to me. So TBD. So I plan this beautiful weekend. Let's chat on Tuesday and see if it goes. Let's see if yours goes the way you plan. No kids fighting. Oh, my God. Husband's not annoying us.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

They're gonna be able to do that. Same with me. We're just gonna be at home. It's just what are we gonna DoorDash? Sophia's very excited about DoorDash. She lives for DoorDash.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

I could see that. She lives. I don't cheap for DoorDash. I don't like the fees. I'm like, Rob, go down and get it.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

I know. She's it's just well, here's the thing you have Amazon Prime? I told you this already. The delivery is free. Okay. And we have Amazon Prime, not Amazon Prime. So yeah, but we also have um I do Uber Eats and we do free delivery for that, which I think is a membership that I was like a promo code, and then I forgot to cancel it. So now you have a membership. That's how they get you. But then she's like, why don't we have DoorDash? I go, DoorDash and Uber Eats and Grubhub, they're all the same. She's like, I know, but DoorDash is cooler. Oh my god, I can't stand that. She's crazy. She's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Well, let's end by saying to all the moms out there, happy Mother's Day, you guys. Mother's Day to other people. Everything and more babies and moms and anyone who sisters isn't with their mom on Mother's Day, you are not alone. Yes. And sending you love. I'm sending you love because I will be feeling that as well. And if you are a mom, do whatever the flying fuck you want to do on Sunday. Right. And worry about the reproductions later. Yes. Because this shit is fucking hard. Hard. Duh.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yeah. Hard. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for listening. We'll see you soon. Or no, I always say that. We'll talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Bye. Bye.