I Paid for the Hair and Hated It... and Said Nothing

Emily leaves town for 36 hours and immediately gets the school nurse call every parent dreads.

Meanwhile, Kendall finally decides to do something for herself, gets her hair colored for the first time in years... and absolutely hates it.

This week we're talking about sick kids, surprise office visits, gardening dreams, self-care that somehow involves airport oatmeal, gray hairs, sleep struggles, and why advocating for ourselves is sometimes harder than advocating for everyone else.

Plus, a listener submission that includes a Mother's Day memory none of us will ever forget.

wait...same.

Key Takeaways

• Kids can find excitement in places adults would never expect. (Apparently getting called to the school office is a bucket-list item when you're five.)
• Sometimes self-care isn't a spa day. Sometimes it's six uninterrupted hours on a plane with a book and nobody asking you for snacks.
• Many moms will fiercely advocate for their children while struggling to speak up for themselves.
• Gardening, herbs, and growing food feel less like hobbies and more like small acts of connection in a busy season of motherhood.
• Gray hair conversations aren't really about hair. They're often about identity, aging, confidence, and what feels worth maintaining.

Mentioned Accounts / Resources

• Little Garden Ave 
• Easy Plant 

Listener Submissions

Email your voice notes to waitsamepodcast@gmail.com

OR

DM them to us on Instagram:  @wait.same.pod

Transcript

Emily Gorrie (00:01)
Hello. Okay. So you know I was away this weekend and I left super early Friday morning. Like my flight was 7 30. I left my house at five fifteen to get to the airport, park, get down there by six. I felt really good about myself. Anyway, we were up like crazy hours. Henry was awake for four hours in the middle of the night on Thursday. So I slept

cumulatively three hours before my 430 alarm clock. while I was away, I had landed at JFK and I'm like trying to find my dad, you know, like in the chaos that is JFK pickup. And I get a phone call. School. I'm like, ⁓ no, who's sick? Who hit their head? Uh-oh. So I answer the phone.

They're like, ⁓ well, Henry threw up. So you're gonna have to come get him. I was like, no, I'm not here. I was like, okay, like, can you tell me a little bit more about what happened? Okay, Seth is gonna have to come get him. I'm out of town. I will give him a call right now. So I call Seth. I was like, ⁓ and I had just gone off the phone with him. He was like, I'm gonna go to the gym and then I'll go pick up the kids.

Kendall Gavaret (01:02)
Funny story. Can't come get him.

Emily Gorrie (01:23)
And it'll be fine. So I said, sorry. No jam. You've gotta go pick up Henry. He's like, okay. So I called the school back because I was like, let's just have them bring Olivia from her classroom to the office with Henry so that you don't have to go back twice to get her with like a potentially pukey kid. Like if he has a stomach bug and he's like puking continuously, like the last thing I want Sat to have to do is like go somehow.

Kendall Gavaret (01:50)
be in the car where he shouldn't move

all over the car. Yeah.

Emily Gorrie (01:52)
Get Olivia also. Yes.

So I call the school back. They're like, no problem. We'll come get Olivia, bring her to the office. Great. A couple hours, couple hours, like 30 minutes later, they call me. And Olivia's like, Mom, guess what? What, sweetheart? Henry puked. We had to go pick him up early. I was like, I know, I'm so sorry. Like, how is he? She's like, it was so cool. I was just talking about

With my friends earlier this morning, how we never get to go to the office. We never go. And we were all so disappointed that we had not been to the office. And then I got to go to the office. They picked me up. I got to go to the office. Well, at least someone was happy. I looked, I looked at my dad and I was like, do you think she manifested this?

Kendall Gavaret (03:13)
I had a midday pickup last week too, but it happens. You know. Yeah. They gotta keep you on your toes. Yeah, they're fine.

Emily Gorrie (03:18)
No, don't you love it? Kiddos. Yeah. Are your kiddos okay? Are they still are they feeling any

better?

Kendall Gavaret (03:28)
⁓ one is starting to feel better and then Charlie is now sick, so ⁓ I felt like literal death warmed over yesterday, which is why my voice is all hoarse and funky, but ⁓ it's okay. It's part of being a toddler mom. Well thank you. Thank you.

Emily Gorrie (03:46)
⁓ Well, I don't think you sound hoarse or funky. You sound lovely. I can't tell. You're welcome.

It is. I feel like we are just coming out of it a little bit with Olivia, which I'm really grateful for. She was I mean, you know, she was sick all the time and still gets sick, but I feel like she's able to like move through it quicker.

Kendall Gavaret (04:15)
Yeah. Well in her germ biome, she's been in the same school for enough years with the same kids. I I will manifest for you that I hope next year when she's in a new school that it continues on this wonderful trajectory.

Emily Gorrie (04:20)
Yes.

Same, thank you. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. And if not, we'll navigate it. It is the rite of passage, I feel like, for going to kindergarten.

Kendall Gavaret (04:39)
Fingers crossed.

It totally is.

It totally is. And just like school in general, you know. My ⁓ Charlie will start school in August and we're gonna start this whole thing over again. So it it'll be great.

Emily Gorrie (05:04)
So good. So good. ⁓

the joys. Do you take anything when you're sick? Like do you like boost your ⁓ like vitamins or like immune packages or whatever? Clearly I don't.

Okay.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (06:00)
you know, trying to drink water. I'm like a firm believer in soup when I'm sick, which Pierre is like, it's completely in your head. It's not real. And I'm like, no, I have to have soup when I'm sick, and it helps me. And he does not believe that. So

Emily Gorrie (06:06)
Totally.

Okay, Pierre. Nobody asked you to make me soup, okay? So Yeah. You sit in your corner over there, Sarah. Soup's for me. What are you eating today?

Kendall Gavaret (06:24)
That's fine. Yeah, I door dashed the soup. You didn't have to do shit.

Exactly. Well

conveniently he likes pho, so when I'm sick we usually order pho.

Emily Gorrie (06:43)
I think there

is at least like personal belief behind like a chicken noodle soup or like the sodium that goes into some of the broths that are like the warmth, the sodium heals the throat, it like is comforting, it feels good in your body. All of that is important. Yes.

Kendall Gavaret (07:02)
Well in the fluids, right? Like I just think

broth again, to your point, your throat and just increased fluids, it's like it's gonna help the mucus stay thinner and this is we've gone very far down a rabbit hole of sickness, but

I think it's a normal part of life as a mom of little kids is all of the sickness germs. Actually one of my girlfriends she's been taking a herbalism class. Yeah, it's like kinda cool.

Emily Gorrie (07:23)
Yeah.

I don't

I don't really understand what that means. So like maybe you can give me a little bit of a definition. Like literally herbs and like plants.

Kendall Gavaret (07:44)
I mean, I don't like f yeah.

So she also has this gorgeous garden and is like really into gardening. And so she has been taking this herbalism class and she like grows chamomile and makes chamomile tea from chamomile flowers or

Emily Gorrie (08:05)
⁓

Kendall Gavaret (08:12)
has like will go buy dried hibiscus at a there's a kind of specialty natural food store in Marin where I live called Good Earth and she'll like go buy I guess like raw the raw item of dried hibiscus and make like hibiscus tea which is good for like a myriad of things or like elderberry syrup. She like makes her own elderberry

Syrup. ⁓ and it's kind of cool. Like, she are because her son is friends with Charlie, my daughter, so they're still really in that like thick of being young and getting all of the sicknesses. And so we went to like a little get together for our friend group at her house, and she gave all the little kids like little elderberry syrup shots. And they like they'll I mean it tastes.

Emily Gorrie (08:55)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (09:12)
good and it's like good for their immunity. ⁓ but it was kind of like a funny a funny little like take home. It was sweet. It was really sweet.

Emily Gorrie (09:15)
Yeah.

Cute.

I've right now I have the kids taking like their multivitamin plus an elderberry. Livvy takes the gummy. Henry refuses to eat the gummy. So he does like the drops. He does, he likes the drops. ⁓ so I feel like there's, I mean, for somebody who who doesn't know much about herbs in herbalism, like there is, I have that belief. I'm buying into that, you know, like building of the immune system.

I'm so impressed that she is taking that upon herself. That's like the hobby. She has a hobby for herself.

Kendall Gavaret (10:00)
She has a hobby.

She sure does. and she also is a content creator, like about garden stuff. So she's like into the garden stuff and it's just really cool to see I don't know, I just I'm totally into the hobby of it and the fact that she's like exploring it because it's not gonna hurt, right?

Emily Gorrie (10:13)
⁓ nice.

I mean, I don't know, are some plants poisonous? But that's why she's taking the class.

Kendall Gavaret (10:32)
Well yeah, but I think that's why

you take the class, yeah.

Emily Gorrie (10:36)
I mean, well, at some point I would love to yeah, probably.

At some point I'd love to do like a raised garden bed on the side of our house when we like adjust some of the landscape. I'm not sure I'm gonna be growing my own chamomile and stuff, but like I have this like vision of like just throwing down some wildflower seeds and like seeing what blooms.

Kendall Gavaret (10:57)
Well there that's like a thing that people do. And there's like so I have been like totally into supporting her. So I actually went with her to there's this incredible seed bank in Petaluma that's been there for I don't wanna say centuries, but like at least decades. ⁓ a very long time. And

Emily Gorrie (11:09)
Ooh.

Yeah, long time.

Kendall Gavaret (11:21)
It's incredible. I was totally in over my head because I have not a green thumb in my body, although I would like to someday. and yeah, it was really cool. They have like packets that you are designed to literally like throw and see what grows. So you could do that. I also have an intention of having raised furnum beds once our

Emily Gorrie (11:29)
Yeah, yeah.

⁓

Yes. Well, I think that sounds lovely. I there's something like beautiful about like just trusting, like throwing the seeds and trusting it. Like I don't want to curate a garden. Like I'm not here to like, you know, need to be super intentional about the planting and where it goes and the pruning and whatnot. But I would love to have like some bed that has herbs, like basil, though. I'm talking like thyme.

Kendall Gavaret (12:25)
The things that you like in the recipe that you don't want to go out and get just that.

Emily Gorrie (12:25)
Maybe some rosemary. Yes. Yes. And

we make a lot of pesto, surprisingly. So like, and you use a lot of basil. I've been like having to fill it out with like a spinach or a parsley to like make more volume, which is still good. Like, still can't taste the spinach. And maybe that's a good way to get greens into the kids' diet because Olivia will actually eat a pesto, which is surprising. But

It would be nice to like grow big things of basil so I can just take what I need and then not have to like go back out to the store. So that would be an ideal. That and like maybe some wildflowers to like, you know, cut and put in a vase. You know, might be nice. That's my extent.

Kendall Gavaret (13:10)
Yeah. You know what I'll send you

I'll send you a reel that I saw ⁓ that was like basically about how to make prolific basil and it's actually like really simple but I'll send it to you because I was like, I could actually do this. I it's not super intensive and ⁓ yeah I just think it's a great place to start. Like she this girlfriend of mine, she just put

Emily Gorrie (13:22)
⁓

Okay.

Kendall Gavaret (13:45)
Friday and sh that morning she had picked these French radishes. Like her son, who's two, who's just turned two, and like I just think it's such a great way for him to know where his food comes from and like how food is grown and made and like connect in that way. ⁓ and we also ate some of the radishes and they were fantastic, but ⁓

Emily Gorrie (13:51)
Ooh.

⁓

Yum.

Kendall Gavaret (14:14)
Yeah, her I don't know. Her handle's little garden av. ⁓ I'll share it with you. But she's yeah, we'll we'll link it below. But 'cause she's just doing great stuff and like I think especially again, I think as a mom you're thinking about how to do things that are enriching for your kids but aren't I dunno, like I don't have the time to

Emily Gorrie (14:20)
Please do. We'll link it too. So cute.

Kendall Gavaret (14:41)
gets as you said, like get super into gardening and like make it a full thing. And so like I I'm really a drawn drawn to people who are creating things that are approachable and realistic.

Emily Gorrie (14:57)
Totally. I love those like pots that you can just like plant one thing in and like leave it. It doesn't need like a whole lot of, you know, love or attention. Like Olivia likes to grow tomatoes and sh at the the monthly, like first Saturday of the month Home Depot does like this the projects. And a couple months ago they had a little like farm box and they gave you tomato seeds and you could grow some.

I'll have to take a picture. The tomato plant is huge. Just from seeds. And we like hardly remember to water it. It like is pretty hardy and resilient. It's great. When it looks like it's like shriveled a little, then we just go put some water, we soak it, you know, it does fine. So ⁓ it looks like it's starting to flower, which is really cool because that means the tomatoes are coming soon. ⁓ so we never like I shouldn't say never, we hardly ever remember to like

pick them at the right time. So like we eat maybe a couple of them, but it's more fun for her to like nurture the plant, remember to water it, you know, prune it back, like pluck the tomato, like there's a start to a finish with it. And it's nice for her to watch the progression of it than how well it does with attention and love.

So that's cute, which and I'd like to do a little bit more of that, but I'm horrible at remembering to get out there to water it.

Kendall Gavaret (16:25)
Well

you know, I I feel like sometimes I cut myself some slack of like I got enough like people to worry about and nurture and take care of. I can't add plants to the mix. Like I don't even have a dog. You got a dog too. Like I I've got these kids, I'm taking care, you know, of myself, of my partner.

Emily Gorrie (16:40)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Of yourself.

Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (16:53)
My parents are nearby, you know, like I got I got enough people to take care of. I can't add plants to the mix. But that's why I like self-watering. Have you heard of this company Easy Plant? I haven't bought one yet, 'cause they're a little pricey. But the idea

Emily Gorrie (16:55)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Hm.

Mm. No.

But if they water themselves?

Kendall Gavaret (17:18)
Well yeah, so the idea is that they have a water reservoir that you fill once a month and then they they water themselves. They take what they need for the rest of the month. And I'm like, ⁓ that I might be able to do, maybe.

Emily Gorrie (17:35)
Is that like you just put a pot on like one of the saucers? Do you have to like buy a specific pot?

Kendall Gavaret (17:43)
I mean, this company sells like the plant in the pot, which I was talking to Pierre about it and he was like, Will they like just sell pots like that? I was like, I know, but don't know I'm like, Yeah, but I don't know the right plant to put in there. I don't know. Like I'm just gonna view it as magic and it I'll buy the magic.

Emily Gorrie (17:56)
Well, that's kind of like where my mind went.

Hey.

I like it. There you go.

There you go. I mean somebody took the guessing out of it for you. And that's half of it. Mm-hmm.

Kendall Gavaret (18:12)
Exactly. I appreciate that. I didn't

realize your dad was there this weekend.

Emily Gorrie (18:21)
He was. He is neck deep in figuring out like pop pop's things and that business and all of that. So ⁓ for those listening who don't know, my grandfather passed away in April, 99 years old. Really remarkable life that he lived. ⁓ but he has this absolutely stunning house in New York that is filled to the brim of

things of living. And there's a lot of ⁓ like things to go through. He had a business also that they're like navigating, all of that fun stuff that if anybody has dealt with estates of people who have passed away, no, it is not a simple thing. So he is there, yes. ⁓ he actually played golf in the morning with Taylor's dad, which was nice when Marie and I went to the baby shower. We went out for a baby shower and it was

Kendall Gavaret (18:51)
Ninety nine years of living.

Emily Gorrie (19:17)
Just like an overall really nice day, but I was only there for thirty six hours.

It was a lot. I landed at like five thirty PM New York time and I got on the airplane. My flight took off at seven thirty on Sunday morning.

Kendall Gavaret (19:36)
Okay. Here's my question for you. Was the six hour flight did that feel like self-care to you? Because I feel like I imagine that as being I imagine being on a six hour plane as like by myself being quite lovely.

Emily Gorrie (19:37)
It was a turnaround.

Yeah.

Yes, here's my one. So I had the exact same anticipation. I was like, this is gonna be great. I can I brought a book. I brought my laptop so I can get some work done. I brought my journal so I could do some journaling. I was like six hours in a row. What are we gonna do? Maybe I'll take a nap, I'll listen to some music, like the whole thing. Yes, I did all of those things and it was wonderful.

I also did the other things that are ⁓ helpful for me too, which is like hydrating. So I like brought my electrolyte packets. I, you know, brought a coconut water. I did not face mask, but I brought like an eye mask. So like I didn't that have like the little eye pockets, so like I didn't have like crease my eyelashes, like while, you know, was I don't know. So no, no with like skincare, but I like, you know, got my coconut water, I made sure I ate, I got my gluten-free oats from

Kendall Gavaret (20:40)
Jup Ace.

Emily Gorrie (20:59)
you know the panicking storefront in terminal two in san diego like you know i made i was like really prioritizing myself here's the downfall i didn't think i was in a window seat i had to pee so many times i was hydrating like crazy so my one suggestion to

Any of you thinking of doing this, get an aisle seat so you don't have to keep bothering the people next to you. And then you actually feel like you're not bothering anybody and you don't need anybody on this airplane. So yes, overall it was great. And I like felt really good when I got off the plane. So like that's good. But I I had to go to the bathroom a couple times. I think I went twice. And I went like two times before I got on the plane. Like right before we boarded. I was like, I'm gonna go again.

Then I went and had to go. And then I had to go like an hour in. And then like two hours after that, I'm like, I hydrated too much. Too much hydration.

Kendall Gavaret (22:04)
I mean that sounds incredible to me.

Emily Gorrie (22:05)
So

It was nice. It was really nice. And I did some journaling to start, which was ⁓ almost like a catalyst for like some inspiration to drop in work-wise, which is really nice. Like it opened up a little bit of mental space. Some things dropped in. I then had like uninterrupted time to like pull up my Google Docs and like get some ideas out of my head. Delta has free Wi Fi. So I was able to like get onto my chat GPT and do like a little bit of like, you know.

⁓ back and forth, you know, convos with ChatGPT. So I actually feel like I was able to like flesh out like a whole idea, which never happens in one sitting either. ⁓ which was cool. One thing I did not do was overcommit myself. So I did not bring like any TV shows to watch because I didn't also want to feel like I had this pull to like binge a couple TV episodes. So I brought a book to read.

Which I also got to do. I took a little bit of a nap. I did a little bit of that work. ⁓ and it like it felt good.

Kendall Gavaret (23:14)
I mean it sounds great. Like the idea of not having to worry about somebody spilling a drink on you or

Emily Gorrie (23:24)
But I will say I did spill my drink on the way home.

Kendall Gavaret (23:29)
On you or the person next to you.

Emily Gorrie (23:30)
In my bag.

My laptop

was in there, my new laptop. It's everything's fine, but my book is definitely like a little crinkly and it was fine. But I was like, ⁓ I'm not even the like my kids aren't even here.

Kendall Gavaret (23:50)
I'm not even distracted.

Emily Gorrie (23:50)
Anyway,

I've been distracted. Anyway, that's okay. So yes, it did kind of feel like self care for me, which was nice. I don't always get that, you know.

Kendall Gavaret (23:59)
I love that. Well,

I get that. not to make this about me, but I think we need to talk about what I see as the elephant in this room, which is

My hair. Talking about self-care. Okay, so here's where I'm at. I have not gotten my hair done like colored in probably four years.

Emily Gorrie (24:17)
Okay, tell me. Tell me.

Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (24:33)
I've had two children in that time. I have experienced a tremendous amount of stress thanks to those children and other things in that time. And, you know, had a had r s was seen a couple more gray hairs than I used to, and wanted to color my hair. So on the self care train, thought, you know what? Because I've been having a hard time justifying.

Emily Gorrie (24:55)
Okay.

Kendall Gavaret (25:02)
how much it costs cause where I live it's like I think for most like good balayage here it's like six hundred dollars now. And I've a I I I can't like justify that to myself. So I

Emily Gorrie (25:06)
Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (25:24)
went to like a nice salon, not like a bad salon, but I saw someone more junior, so it would be like a little bit less expensive. But like I used to live with somebody who was a hair colorist. So I know I know the amount of training that you have to go through to even work in a salon. Like exactly.

Emily Gorrie (25:32)
Okay.

Yeah.

To even be like a junior stylist. There's a lot

that goes into it. Yes. Okay.

Kendall Gavaret (25:51)
Exactly.

Many hours, many like a lot of work. It's not like somebody so I take that junior, not with a grain of salt, but like a little bit more, I guess, understanding.

So I booked this hair appointment and I go in and I like had I had some pictures and I showed her some pictures and I was like, okay, so like I you know, I want something I haven't colored my hair in four years, like I want something that's just gonna be like a little fun and sun-kissed for the summer. Like I don't want something streaky, I don't wanna look like a brunette who's trying to look like a blonde.

Emily Gorrie (26:33)
Okay.

Kendall Gavaret (26:34)
But I wanna look like sun kissed. She was like, Okay, great. Yes, got it. It's she sounded very reassuring. She was like, Yeah, I I you know, I have ⁓ it'll be like her hair was up. She was like, Yeah, like what my hair is up right now, but like, you know, it like something more along the lines of like what I have myself, which I was like, okay, great, you have something yourself, awesome.

Emily Gorrie (26:48)
no.

Kendall Gavaret (27:04)
So she puts all the foils in. First of all, as far as I could see, she only mixed like one color, which was a little concerning. She puts the foils in.

Emily Gorrie (27:14)
I don't know anything about hair coloring,

so that's not concerning to me, but I'll take your word for it.

Kendall Gavaret (27:19)
Well, so

typically like she just kept saying dimensional and I was like, Okay, yes, like bot in. Typically when I think of dimensional, I would think something more closer to a balayage, which usually you're using multiple colors and you're blending like the balayages you're actually painting directly on the hair to make it look more natural. That's the thesis of it.

Emily Gorrie (27:34)
Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Kendall Gavaret (27:44)
So she does the foils, I'm sitting there, I'm like working while I'm at the salon, because it's like a five-hour process, right? I'm working while I'm at the salon. She goes she comes back, she goes, Okay, like let's go ⁓ take the foils out. I'm gonna take the f the ⁓ back out first, and then we'll leave the front for a little bit longer.

Emily Gorrie (27:50)
Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (28:07)
And I s she takes it out and I'm like sitting a little bit forward in the wash bin.

Honestly, thank God she couldn't see my face 'cause my face was just like

Emily Gorrie (28:29)
What?

Kendall Gavaret (28:30)
I started texting Pierre. I like, my god, I think it's really bad. I was like, I it's it's bad. I think it's like And then, you know, cause she still has to tone it, she has to put the tone in it, and I was like, Okay, okay, okay. Let's see, let's see how it turns out. And she's blowing me out, and it's just like

Emily Gorrie (28:45)
Trusting, just trying to trust.

no.

Kendall Gavaret (28:56)
It's hair. Like I'm somebody who's I take hair pretty lightly. But this is the closest I think I've ever been to almost crying about hair. Cause it is streaky. I mean, I I've only worn it up since I got it done, which should tell you everything. It

Emily Gorrie (29:08)
Hm.

Yeah.

Right. Yeah, you're not feeling

great about it.

Kendall Gavaret (29:19)
It feels orange to me. It looks cheap to me. And it wasn't. Like, it just feels so inauthentic to me. And as she was blowing it out, I just kept thinking to myself.

Emily Gorrie (29:27)
Yeah.

Mm.

Kendall Gavaret (29:42)
Honestly, I was like laughing to myself because I was like, I knew she was gonna ask how it was. I know how hair salons work, that if I said that I wasn't happy, they would fix it. Or they would have a more senior stylist like come consult with me and they would fix it. And I was just laughing to myself because I knew I wasn't gonna say anything.

Emily Gorrie (30:00)
Yeah.

I was gonna ask you if you'd said anything.

Kendall Gavaret (30:09)
And I was just laughing to myself because I was like, I'm two people's mother. Like, I would I would and I do advocate for my kids in every situation. Like, you know, we've had some like things at school or in other venues where like I've had to advocate for my kids, and I absolutely have no problem.

Emily Gorrie (30:14)
Ha, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (30:35)
standing up and advocating and making things uncomfortable for my kids. And yet here I am paying more than I probably would like to to get my hair done, hating it, knowing that I'm not gonna say anything. And I was just like, what?

Emily Gorrie (30:56)
Okay, so

Kendall Gavaret (30:56)
I I'm like

such a people pleaser. Like what is wrong with me? And it just felt so ironic that like again I just kept laughing at myself being like, You're people's mother and you're not willing to say that you hate your hair

Emily Gorrie (31:09)
But it's also

like the next steps that come after saying you hate your hair. It's like then you also have to then commit to talking about what pieces of it you don't like, what it would actually mean to like fix it for you. And then you'd have to have that conversation. You'd likely have to come back another day, spend another so and X number of hours in the chair. Like, so it's not a small thing.

But I'm with you. I think it's easier sometimes to advocate on behalf of somebody other than ourselves.

Kendall Gavaret (31:44)
a hundred percent. A hundred percent. But I was just laughing at myself being like, I'm so ridiculous that I would rather like walk around wearing a hat and my hair back were or like my hair back for the foreseeable future than say anything. But yeah, I guess like it would be additional like mental load, which bluntly I don't have capacity for. So

Emily Gorrie (31:52)
You're human.

Okay, so I wanna ask you, I don't wanna ask you to take it down because I that's not something I'm gonna ask you to do right now. But like what part of it don't you like? Is it like the streakiness? It's the coloring, is it like just overall not like the vibe you were going for? Like what is it?

Kendall Gavaret (32:27)
It's the streaky

it's the streakiness and the coloring. I mean I will take it down for you. Like it is it's just like look at that.

Emily Gorrie (32:31)
Okay. Just a little too contrasty. Thank you.

⁓

it's not even like a warm color.

Kendall Gavaret (32:43)
No, it's like bleach. It is straight up orange bleachy streaks in my hair. I I like I can't. Well I had I had prepped him on me hating it and he said, Well maybe I'll like it and I got home and he was like

Emily Gorrie (32:53)
Mm-hmm.

What did Pierre say?

Kendall Gavaret (33:14)
That's different. And I was like, yeah, I told ya. I told you it was bad. So you know

Emily Gorrie (33:19)
Yeah. Okay. That was kind.

Okay, so what are you gonna do? Are you gonna try and go back

Kendall Gavaret (33:28)
I'll probably

I'll probably go somewhere else and pay them to I'll pay for it twice. 'Cause at this point it's gonna take so long for it to grow out and Yeah, yeah, it does. I mean realistically I could like wait until

Emily Gorrie (33:32)
Fix it. Yeah.

Does your hair grow fast? Okay, so like it's a blessing.

Kendall Gavaret (33:47)
August or September and then get it redone for like fall. But my concern is being in the sun a lot this summer and it getting even more like orange.

Emily Gorrie (33:57)
If it'll lighten it up.

Kendall Gavaret (34:06)
But you know, yeah, you know. This is ⁓ I don't know, again, I just I just took it as very funny and ironic that like here I am, people's mother, not willing to say something as simple as I don't like my hair. But yeah.

Emily Gorrie (34:06)
What a bummer.

Yeah.

We also never know like how somebody's gonna take it either.

Kendall Gavaret (34:37)
Yeah. I'll tell you I'm never going back to that salon again though.

Emily Gorrie (34:40)
I Yeah.

Fair. I probably would have done what you did and not said anything. That's also why I have not dyed my hair. I have a lot of gray hairs. Like you can maybe see like, but they're like, they're nice and stringy. They look good. ⁓ but it's not like I have like roots, you know, it's like I have random hairs like all the way throughout my hair. And my s hairstylist has been like, we can do like an overall gloss and color. I'm like,

I just don't know if I I just it's not because I don't trust her because I've going to her for years, but I just am kind of scared of the color.

Kendall Gavaret (35:17)
Yeah. And the upkeep. I don't know. I feel like hair color, the upkeep is a lot. ⁓ I actually just met a woman maybe, don't know, a couple of weeks ago who is

Emily Gorrie (35:23)
Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (35:34)
pretty like involved invested in the like silver sisters community which is a like a a whole thing that I honestly didn't know anything about but I think it's kind of cool. It's like, you know, a lot of like reclaiming and I think empowering of women to like let their hair go gray and not color it and be authentic and like I'm into it.

Emily Gorrie (35:46)
Cool.

Mm-hmm.

Totally.

I love that. My sister-in-law has let her hair completely go gray. Looks amazing on her. ⁓ my mom did that. My aunt's doing that. Like, it looks good. I think when you like feel confident in it, you rock it. Right. It's like, so I mean, there's something to be said for that. It's an option. I don't know. I'd rather just like lower my cortisol levels so like maybe my hair doesn't go gray as fast.

Kendall Gavaret (36:19)
Yeah.

Well that would be the ideal, but is that coming anytime soon? Don't know. Yeah, exactly.

Emily Gorrie (36:32)
Is that working? I don't know, but we'll see.

What lowering the cortisol levels? I don't think so. Maybe?

I don't think so. I don't even know how to do that. We screamed at last.

Kendall Gavaret (36:55)
I take a

I take a cortisol manager a couple sometimes. I really like it.

Emily Gorrie (36:59)
you do that's right.

And like what's in that? Like an ashwagandha root? Like what's in it?

Kendall Gavaret (37:06)
Yeah, it's all natural. yeah, it's probably that. I should probably know exactly what's in it, but I don't have the I don't have the ener I don't have the mental energy for that. I don't know.

Emily Gorrie (37:08)
Yeah. Heard good things. I don't know.

I love it. That's okay. If you think it's working for you.

Kendall Gavaret (37:25)
I feel I do feel a difference. Like if I take it and I've told you this, but like for me the difference is if I have to wake up in the middle of the night either like naturally to use the restroom or if one of the kids wakes up, the difference for me is that it allows me to go back to sleep like significantly faster than if I don't take it, because if I don't take it my mind starts doing the like

Emily Gorrie (37:36)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (37:54)
Running through the to-do list, the shoulds, like all of the shoulds that I have that I like should be focusing on this. I forgot about this. Like all of that, my brain just starts going and sometimes it'll take me like an hour to fall back asleep.

Emily Gorrie (37:59)
Yeah.

My gosh, that was me like when Olivia was a baby. Granted, there was a whole other thing going on, you know, postpartum with your first baby. But like that was like a big thing for me. And what I found myself doing, because I I didn't know, you know, I could take herbs or supplements or whatever. ⁓ eventually I got myself into therapy. But like what I started doing is I started listening to an audiobook that put me to sleep.

Like this woman's voice was so soothing. It was Marianne something, like a return to love or something. She's like a self-love guru book writer. I'll find it and I'll link it. It I don't think I've actually listened to it in entirety because sh her voice was so soothing that I would put on the earbud and I would fall asleep within minutes. It like gave me something else to focus on, and she was so calming.

that I was able to fall back asleep. Which was kind of nice. It just distracted me in a very calming way.

Kendall Gavaret (39:12)
Yeah, I like that. See my problem is I like have gone fully screen free by my bedside. So like my phone's actually in the living room, like it charges in the living room. And I just have the monitor next to my bed.

Emily Gorrie (39:19)
Hmm. I love that for you.

⁓ I need to do that.

Yeah, I need to do that.

Kendall Gavaret (39:35)
I mean, you know, to each their own. I f I found just for me that like it just was it just felt nicer, like not having the option to

Emily Gorrie (39:48)
Yeah. This is not a conversation for right now because we need to get into the listener submission, but maybe next week we talk about like electronic frequencies and the fact that I got those crystals from the crystal shop when we were in Joshua Tree to block the EMF frequency waves of my devices in my kids' rooms, like sound machines, which have to be there, but they're like across the room and I use these crystals.

And then I have one on my nightstand and Seth's nightstand because I can't yet get rid of the monitor. And I still have my phone charging there. I'd love to put my phone in the other room. So I think you're on to something. It like feels nicer. You can't roll over and touch it. And

You're not like, I don't know, inadvertently sleeping in these frequency waves. You're on to something. That'll be next week's topic because we can go down this rabbit hole of crystals and Joshua Tree. ⁓ but quickly, what do you do for an alarm clock?

Kendall Gavaret (40:40)
Yeah.

You know, the vortex is known as

Well, so I used to wear my Apple Watch at night, ⁓ because that will like vibrate so that 'cause I wake up before Pierre does. But I've just in the past two weeks decided to get rid of that because it was like giving me discoloration on my wrist. 'Cause I

Emily Gorrie (40:58)
Okay. I don't have one of those.

Mm.

like you were getting tan around

it?

Kendall Gavaret (41:20)
No, it's not even like tan. Here I can show you. it's like like but that's not tan. It's like literally like I think it's like pressure. Like just pressure from you know, like you sleep in different positions. Yeah.

Emily Gorrie (41:28)
⁓

Like this like the skin cells are just like discoloring.

Kendall Gavaret (41:43)
So I've decided to get rid of it at night and I only wear it during the day. So I actually bought a a hat like an adult hatch for myself and it I wear an eye mask at night, so this feature isn't really helpful for me, but it can ⁓ like wake you up with light. Like

Emily Gorrie (41:46)
Yeah. Okay.

Like

the sun, right? Like slowly gets brighter and brighter and brighter.

Kendall Gavaret (42:09)
Yeah, so it can do that

or it can do sound. So I do sound and I do like again, just because I wake up earlier than Pierre, I have it do like, I don't know, like ocean waves or something really gentle. ⁓ admittedly.

Emily Gorrie (42:23)
Yeah. And you can turn it off before he wakes up, yeah.

Kendall Gavaret (42:27)
Admittedly, I have my kids have been waking up very early, so I have not had an opportunity to have an alarm in the two weeks that I've had it which is a whole nother story. Yeah, it's a screaming child.

Emily Gorrie (42:31)
Hmm. Needed.

Cause you have your built-in alarm clock anyway.

God.

That's a no wonder your cortisol's up. That's how we love to get woken up. We sure do. All right. I'm making a note so we can talk about this next week because I also have an alarm clock that I bought and I can't wait to tell you about it. So next time. Okay. All right. So let's get into our listener submission section of the episode today.

Kendall Gavaret (43:06)
Okay, I can't wait to hear about it. Okay, next time.

Emily Gorrie (43:15)
Let me know if you can't hear it in like a short moment.

Kendall Gavaret (44:29)
Ha ha.

Happy Mother's Day. Jeez.

Emily Gorrie (44:37)
Yeah.

Okay, this is gonna be too much. But like a ma like I can just ⁓ that's fair. I can imagine just how weird it feels to have like

Kendall Gavaret (44:43)
We started the episode with puking, so I think we're fine.

Emily Gorrie (44:53)
A r like a raw butt, for lack of a better word, like sitting on your lap and like letting out a fart.

Kendall Gavaret (44:59)
That's never happened to you? that's absolutely happened to me. I have I have had. Well, cause my kids are naked all the time because they just love being naked. So, yes, I have had a child sitting on me rip a fart. I've also had a child rip a fart in my face.

Emily Gorrie (45:03)
No. Really? No.

Yeah.

That I have had happen, I have not had that lovely rite of passage on my lap.

Kendall Gavaret (45:30)
I mean, you know

Emily Gorrie (45:31)
I thought she was gonna say something

like she had like sand all up in her like, you know, private region. So like she like had to take it off. And I'd be like, girl, I know that feeling, you know? That's what I was expecting her to say.

Kendall Gavaret (45:44)
I mean my kids are s very similar. Like as soon as they're wet and they're outside, they wanna take their swimsuits off. But we're very I guess European with our comfort of them being naked, but

Emily Gorrie (45:50)
Yeah.

Totally.

We're also very comfortable with our kids being naked.

But I've never had a fart on my own lap.

Kendall Gavaret (46:07)
if you have experienced a lovely fart on your on your body, on your person, please send us in a voice note and tell us about it. or it doesn't have to be a bodily function either. Just send us just send us your voice notes.

Emily Gorrie (46:16)
Yeah.

What's your favorite moment from this week that you have to tell your friend?

I don't know what mine would be.

Maybe. we'll have to come back to this. I don't know. We'll submit ours just like you.

Kendall Gavaret (46:44)
We'll Yeah, we'll send we'll

send each other a voice note about it.

Emily Gorrie (46:50)
All right, so until next week, we'll be back.

Kendall Gavaret (46:52)
Until next week.

Bye.