When your kid doesn't want a birthday party

We start with toddler "why?" questions that leave everyone exhausted...and somehow end up talking about how our kids are already teaching us about boundaries.

This week we're chatting about surviving nonstop summer parenting, realizing one kid needs a packed social calendar while the other needs a quiet couch, honoring a birthday request that wasn't what mom imagined, and the unexpected compliment from a stranger that nearly made emily cry in barnes & noble.

Plus: the best friend question that made us realize our first impressions of each other were exactly what the other person needed.  .

And of course...we wrap things up with a listener story that proves kids always have a solution (even if that solution is just buying a whole new house).

If you've ever had to let go of your own expectations to meet your kid where they are...

Wait...same.

Key Takeaways

• Sometimes the best way to celebrate your child is the way they want—not the way you imagined.
• Kids often tell us exactly what they need...if we're willing to listen.
• Different personalities require different parenting, even under the same roof.
• Encouragement from a complete stranger can stay with you far longer than criticism.
• The friendships that last aren't built on perfection—they're built on eventually seeing each other's real selves.

Listener Submissions

Email your voice notes to waitsamepodcast@gmail.com

OR

DM them to us on Instagram:  @wait.same.pod

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

So I've told you how we're like very much in a why question phase of everything, right? Oh yes. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

So yesterday we're talking about a town that we're probably gonna go to for fireworks next week. And I said it was a town on the sea. And Owen goes, Why is it a town on the sea?

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Lovely.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Right? And I said, Well, when people started living there a long, long time ago, they were they would get fish from the sea to live, and and that's why they put the town on the sea so they could go onto the water easily.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

And Emily, I kid you not, he just goes, Oof, oof.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

What are we like 55, middle-aged, and bored out of our minds?

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Exactly. I have I have mastered or failed the question of why, so much so that his only reaction was oof.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

You know, I think you're being too hard on yourself. My reaction or my interpretation of his humph was more so like, oh, I wouldn't want to do that. Like, I wouldn't want to live on the sea. I don't want to go in and find my own fish in the ocean. And I'm with that kid. But you know, I'd like the view of the sea, but not, oh gosh, mom should explain it better.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Well, that's generous. So thank you. Too cute. I love these kids. This is the podcast where we say the things moms are thinking, but not always saying out loud. The unfiltered, slightly unhinged, and very real moments of motherhood that make you stop and think.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Wait.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Same. Having no child care for an extended period of time, I have a lot of empathy for people who homeschool or people who just do this all the time. Yes. With no break. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

Yes. Yes. I was actually just talking to a woman yesterday who has five kids and they're more grown now. I think her youngest is in high school. But she did. She was a stay-at-home mom and homeschooled all five of her kids. At one point there were like five under 11. And it was for her, I think it was a matter of necessity. Uh, there wasn't much, you know, possibility or flexibility, is what I kind of gathered. And she was like, I was just it for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It was a lot. I was like, holy cow, yes, that is a lot. Like, so much kudos to her to you know step into that role all the time. It's exhausting.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Yeah. I know. It's it is crazy when you get glimpses into um realities that look different than your own, and you're like, there's some gratitude in there, there's some awe in there of the other woman who you know showed up the way that she needed to show up for her family, and gratitude that they're, you know, maybe it doesn't quite look that way for you either. So I thought that was a that was an eye-opener for me yesterday. That was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

I mean, even just starting with like I I I can't imagine having five kids, like I full admiration and kudos. Yes, and I can't even imagine it.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

I think chaos would be an understatement.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

I mean, I have chaos and I have two kids.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Yeah, yeah. I also think though, like some kids are chill, and when you have five, aren't you bound to get a chill one?

SPEAKER_02 4:40

I guess statistically, yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

My first two have not been chill, but I'm just wondering like, by the time you hit five, there's gotta be a chill one in the bunch, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Like well, yeah, and you then you also question like is that naturally chill or is that a function of like you get no attention because there's four other children who are demanding and you're a little bit of a blob. Um yeah, fair, fair. But yeah, I would say statistically, if you have five children, you're you're likely to have one that's chill.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

I'll never find out. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

I have no intention of finding out, but um we had a play date, well kind of play date yesterday with a little girl who is older. She's like six, she's like maybe a little older than Olivia. Okay, and it was the best time ever. Like she was so great with my kids, so patient, yeah, and they didn't need one thing from me for like four hours.

SPEAKER_03 6:03

That is incredible. I think that's just like a prime example as to why people need villages. Like, I think it's so beautiful to have like friends with kids who have, you know, babies the same age, and you know, you're kind of navigating those challenges together. But like, I feel like you were able to experience that yesterday. There's something so helpful about having friends with kids who are even just slightly older. It like adds a little bit of awe for your kids, it helps with a little bit of like task management and entertainment. And I'm sure that little girl absolutely loved having like littler kids to guide.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

I think so. Um so cute. Yeah, it was really fun. It was fun.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

Um, I'm picturing them all like frolicking in a France like field of flowers for some reason.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

We'll swap the field of flowers for being uh well, she she had a bathing suit on. My kids were naked in the pool for like two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Oh my gosh, I love it. I can also picture that actually.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

I have a more introverted kid and one that's more extroverted, and so it it's really nice whenever they kind of have this buffer of um I think another kid who yeah, just buffers between them and and can either not side with one or the other, but provide a different dynamic than the two. They're not extremes, but they're definitely more uh spectrum in terms of like introversion, extroversion spectrum. They're they're they're further apart on on that spectrum than close.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Yeah, fair enough. It's like it's something different also. They don't just have to navigate the two of them. They can be like, oh, I've you know done this day in and day out. Like, let's see what this kid wants to do. And it's like a completely different pull for both of them.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

I love that. Well, speaking of um, I was just gonna say, like, speaking of polarization or like different energy levels, like if you take my kids, they're both high energy, but one thing I'm starting to notice, classic Fourth of July, is Olivia is so much like her dad, like energy-wise, like she is she loves being with people, she wants to do all the things, and it like recharges her almost. Henry is me, he is also high energy and loves to be with people, but if he does too much, he loses it, and his like energy is depleted, and he needs to like have quiet decompression time. And we learned that like very first hand on 4th of July, and I think it's like something different we have to navigate. Like, I have to remind Seth that like your kids are very different, one is very much like you, the other is much like his mom and needs to take breaks or not do four things in a row in a day.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

What happened that was so like illustrative of that?

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Well, um, just to set the scene for you, I woke up on 4th of July, went to go blow dry my hair to get ready to go down to the park and threw my back out. So I think my body was like, Yeah, no, you're not, you're not doing today as you've planned it. It's just not, and I was already dreading it because we had had like a park play, a park um hoa event in the morning. And then one of our neighbors throws a pool party like right after that. And then we would gonna do Henry's nap time, and then in the afternoon we had a family barbecue, and then Seth wanted to go to his buddies, who lives near like a bluff where we can see fireworks from the Delmar Fair. That is four things, and that basically day would start at 9 a.m. down at the little park in our neighborhood and end whenever the fireworks ended, which start at 9 p.m. That's a really long day. And Olivia is so excited, and I'm dreading it. I'm like, okay, like I'm gonna have to take a nap when Henry takes a nap. Like, we gotta make sure we get him down. Um, so yeah, my body was like, I don't think so. So I missed the park thing, I missed the pool thing. Henry came home with me from the park thing like an hour in. He's screaming at the park. It's too many people. He's like, pick me up. I want to go home. You know, he did not want to be there. It was too much stimulation for him. And honestly, I wanted to honor it because I was so proud of him for being like, I don't want to be here. I do not want to be here. I want to go home. So I was like, okay, buddy, you and I are gonna go home. And my back was like not doing good. So I laid on the couch for the entire rest of the day through his nap. Um, but it was nice to have him like back home with me so him and I could be in a space that felt really like recharging for us. And then Seth and Olivia could do their thing, and then they came back, you know, took, we all took quiet time and took naps. And then, you know, I kind of was able to rally um and participate for the second half of the day. But it was just really, really clear that these like high-energy situations just don't work for Henry, like they don't really work for me. They are a drain suck, no matter how much I love the people that are there. If there's too many people, it's too much.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

Yeah. Well, I'm so proud of him for like being in tuned with his own preferences and and not actually in a different way. I wanted to bring this up to you with you today, too. Of I'm similarly proud of Owen for not people pleasing. And that's exactly what Henry Henry did. Well, Henry, you know, was set his own boundary, right? And for Owen, his birthday's in a couple weeks. And I'm actually really proud of him for setting his own boundaries of saying he doesn't want a party, he doesn't want any singing, and he doesn't want any like attention on his birthday. He just wants a cake and gifts.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

I love that so much. I love it. I am so proud of him too.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

I mean, like, don't get me wrong, it's not um my instinct, right? Like, my instinct to like celebrate him and do something special for his birthday and make a big deal out of it because that's what I that's like I love showing people love in that way. And yeah, but I'm really proud of him because of this like people pleasing element. And what I mean by that is I am like a definite people pleaser, and I'm really happy and proud to see that my kid is growing up in this environment and support system where he doesn't feel any pressure to have a party or accept the singing or accept the attention if he doesn't want it.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely, oh my gosh. You know, it's so interesting to like watch them find that voice and then have to like check yourself. It's like, why do I want to push back on that? Is it like my own tendency? Is it, you know, something likely that we've brought to the table? I love that he recognizes that for himself. And then I think that there's also like a balance of like, okay, well, you know, is there something that, you know, generated this desire to not have attention on himself? Like, you know, maybe a little curiosity there, but like overall honor that, right? Like, that is like such a beautiful wit, like to witness him being able to communicate that. I just don't want that.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yeah. And don't get me wrong, like I had to negotiate to get the gifts out.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Yeah. Really?

unknown 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

Okay, we gotta, we gotta get Owen into cake. This kid, come on. I feel like if somebody said to me, Oh, I'm gonna bring you a cake every day, I would be so happy.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

A gluten-free one?

SPEAKER_03 16:12

Mm-hmm. That would be lovely. Yes. I think there is actually a really good gluten-free cake. Really?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Where? Who makes it?

SPEAKER_02 16:25

It's actually a box cake and it's called Ancient Grains.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

And they have a chocolate and a vanilla, uh, like a vanilla yellow cake.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Oh, okay. This might be a game changer because I had gone to um Sprouts around Seth's birthday in May, right when I started this whole um like dietary change. And I got, I don't know if it was like the Simple Mills and it was like almond flour based, or I think it was almond, I think it was the Simple Flour Simple Mills um like box mix. It was just okay. It was a little lackluster. Um I think I had one and was like, I definitely don't, I made them into cupcakes. I was like, I definitely don't want more of this. Because I made some for kissing cup cake. I don't want more of that. No, thank you. But it's like kind of sad. Like, I don't know. So I will try that. Ancient grains.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Yeah, I'll I'll double check it and we'll we can link it in the show notes. But I um yeah, it is it is kind of a game changer. It's definitely, it's definitely better. Um, although on the birthday train, I did want to just get your advice because as much as like, yes, I'm proud of my son, yes, I want to honor all of his wishes. Also, I have I have no idea what I'm gonna get him. Like we had we had an idea for two gifts that we were planning on getting him, but they're both like physically bigger gifts. So it would make sense when we're at home, but we're not gonna be at home for his birthday. Yeah. And so I guess like my default would be to make to get him some gift that he would like for his actual birthday, but mostly kind of celebrate it in decoration and like doing more pomp and circumstance. I don't know what to do for a kid who doesn't want pomp and circumstance. Well, do you have any ideas for me?

SPEAKER_03 18:56

My only the initial idea that came into my head was can you do something a little bit more understated in terms of the pomp and circumstance? Like, I don't know, like, does he like scavenger hunts? Does he like puzzles? Could you put like puzzle pieces from like his room to like the kitchen where you have like, you know, his favorite breakfast? Or like um, you know, and then he has to go in, he can put like the puzzle pieces together of like a really special puzzle or something, I don't know, you know, while he's like sitting at the breakfast table. Just like something like a little bit out of the ordinary. Um I like that. That could be really cute, or like, I don't know, a scavenger hunt of like um, I don't know, maybe like a couple of pieces of something that like leads to uh, I don't know, maybe you I don't do they do balloons in France, like I don't know. Could you do like a couple of balloons around the house and he has to like find find all the balloons and attach to each balloon is like you know a note where to find the next one. So you guys obviously have to do with him because he's not quite reading yet, but like I don't know, like something that like kind of like leads to a couple of things and like leads to something small. So it's like there's a little bit of a surprise element to it, but there's like not a whole lot of attention on him. There's not like big, massive decorations and um I don't know, something kind of fun for him, like a game that he could play.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

I really like that because he I don't know where he got this idea, but today he has been non-stop on wanting Mickey personnage, which is like characters, uh-huh. And he like Mickey Mouse characters, like little figurines. And I could almost do we could if I can find them somewhere in like a toy store here, we could do because that's like a visual thing where you can say, like, once you find Mickey, Mickey's holding a picture of Goofy, and you like go find Goofy or something like that. Yes. Um, that's a great idea, and thank you.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

You're so welcome. It just came into my brain, so I'm so glad. I'm so glad. Um, that's so cute though. I would imagine that you're gonna have much better luck with the toy stores in France than you would here. Am I correct in making that assumption? Maybe not for Mickey characters, but like in terms of like good quality things.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Yeah, yeah. I think in terms of more like higher quality, yes. Um it's and like I don't know, we there's one toy store near us that's pretty large. Um so we can probably find we'll find something.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Yeah, okay. I just have this like elevated vision in my head of what toy store. Stores in France look like. Maybe I should just come visit one day with you. And then I can like actually know.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Well, I mean, that we can tell our dear listeners, that was the plan.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

And then COVID hit. And then I got pregnant. And then you got pregnant. And then I got pregnant again. And then you got pregnant again.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Yep. That's that's literally exactly how it went.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

The best laid plans.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

The best laid plans, indeed. But uh we'll still do that trip eventually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

Well, now that we're all not having five kids, I think maybe our timeline can can shift up a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah, there's no need to wait for the chill kid. We'll just do it anyway.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

We'll just hand out some uh um earplugs on the plane for those sitting near Henry.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

You know, I mean, I know I've told you this before, but like I am just a firm believer, like anytime anybody, because we travel, you know, good a good enough amount with the kids, and anyone anytime anyone asks me for like advice, my number one piece of advice is just that the flight ends eventually. Like the flight is going to end, and like you're not trapped there forever. And like, have I had an older person see my child and request to move before the flight even took off? 100% that has happened to us, but like oh, that is funny. Yeah, oh it was where was it? I think it was from Hawaii. And I don't think Charlie was born, I think it was just Owen, and he might have been, he was probably like 15 months old and was not crying, was like very chill and fine, but we get on the plane and this older couple boards, and they are sitting in front of us, and we had pre-boarded, so we're sitting down, and they literally flag down the flight attendant and ask to move seats. Subtle, and I was like, Well, okay, fine.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Like, yeah, and again, I don't want to be near you if you're gonna be cranky about it.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Well, exactly, but I also think that's like to your point, not to get you know, uh too psychoanalytical about it, but like I think that's the stuff where at first I was like embarrassed or offended by that, and I think I had to check myself and be like, no, that's fine, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

Their choice doesn't affect me, and you know, yeah, their choice is absolutely nothing about you. Yeah, oh, it totally is, it totally is funny. Can I tell you on the flip side, just something that happened to me this week that was like actually kind of sweet?

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Hmm, please.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

So I took the kids to Barnes and Noble. Um, I think it was last Friday. Yeah, it was the Friday. Oh, so it was after we recorded our last episode, and we had gone to like a play gym in the morning, they got their energies out, and we ended up going to go get a puzzle from Barnes and Noble. And we're in there, and I should have known that it was not gonna be as simple as prepping them, like, okay, kids, we're just going in for a puzzle. We have to agree on which one it is, and we're only getting one. That's the deal. If we can agree to it, we're gonna go inside. You can do your best, but I should have known that that wasn't gonna be the case. But so we're inside, and of course, Barnes Noble has this like absolutely massive, at least in our Barnes and Noble, massive section, of toys right near the kids' puzzles. So now we're navigating, like, I want this one, I want this one. And Olivia's at the age where she's like, she's not screaming at me for things, you know, like she's old enough to be like, oh, I kind of want this mom. And I'm like, that's not what we came in for. She's like, okay, can you take my picture with it so we can remember that I want it? You know, like we're at that age with her. But Henry is nowhere near that. He doesn't get that, like, he forgot what we talked about the minute we walked in the door and we saw all the Paw Patrol cars, you know. Like, he's like, that's what I want. So we're in there. Um, trying to be like, okay, kids, like, remember what we talked about. Team Gory, this is what we do. Like, we're picking one, we're here for a puzzle, you know. And Henry's like losing it, losing it. Finally, we like, you know, agree on this construction truck puzzle that also has an activity book that also has little cars in it, but there's a puzzle. So I was like, fine, I feel like I can accept this. Um, and then I let Olivia get a coloring activity set. So there was like coloring books and um bookmarks and things like that that she could like, you know. So it wasn't a puzzle, but I walked out of there fairly unscathed, I'm happy to say. But my point of sharing this is we get to the counter and we're standing in line, and this woman walks by me, she's older, probably late 50s, early 60s, and she goes, I just want to tell you, I think you're a really great mom. And when I tell you that I almost started crying in Barnes and Noble, yes, yes, I did. Because just the wave of emotion, she's like, I heard the words that you were saying to them, and you're just a really great mom. Like, and I really appreciated that because I was doing my best to stay calm in Barnes and Noble. It definitely helped that like visually we were exposed in a public space. But like I it I was definitely being intentional on like trying to gather support and not create frustration and creating us as like a team element to get us out of there as quickly as possible. And it just like, I don't know, the universe like knew that's what I needed to like have like a little reassurance, so it was just kind of nice to like see that people are also paying attention, but in like a sweet way.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

You know? So I was like, okay, I need to do that more for other people. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start being like complimenting of other people in public because that just like made me feel so good.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

I mean, it's accurate too, for what it's thank you.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Yes, you are a really great mom. I do believe that. I do also believe that. Um but it's like always kind of nice, you know, to have someone else be like, I see you. You are doing you're doing the thing and you're doing it well, you know.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Um, because not every moment is like that for sure. Um, I don't know. So if you ever see me in public and you're either having a hard moment or you're doing something really well, I might just tell you you're doing a great job.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Oh, I thought you were saying if you're having a hard moment, you're gonna tell someone, oh, you're you're having a hard moment. No, I'm gonna compliment you on how strong you are in this hard moment.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

Oh man, I'm not that kind of a bee.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

No, you're not the bee at all. I just I I got a chuckle out of imagining you being like, like, you know, there's um, I think it's Dr. Becky. There's language of like, you're a good kid having a hard time, right? And it's just imagining you being like, you're a good mom having a hard time.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

Oh if someone said that to me, I would have to restrain a slap, I think. Excuse me, get out of my face. Oh man, I hope I never do that. But yes, it feels just like that.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Um I uh I have a little best friend lore moment for you if you're up for it.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

I'm so up for it and I cannot wait. Okay, I cannot wait. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

So I'm gonna also, I know I like teased this one that you're gonna know what I'm gonna say. This is not that one.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Okay, because I was kind of nervous coming into today. I'm like, oh man, I hope I remember what she's talking about.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

This is not that one. So pressure's off, pressure's off. It's just gonna surprise you uh when that one eventually does come up. Uh okay. Uh what was your first impression of me and how wrong was it?

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Okay, let's take that in twofold. I'm gonna, okay, my first impression of you was honestly that you had everything put together. Like I remember, because so we met through the sorority for the first time, if I recall correctly. I don't think there was like a time before that. I just remember being like, this girl has so many friends, she knows so many people, and she's so happy all the time. And being a sophomore in college, like that was like the dream. I'm like, you know, trying not to be, you know, miserable living so far from home. I was trying to find my place in a community, and you like had all these friends. I was like, dang, that girl has her shit together. That was my first impression of you. And I would not actually say that that was wrong.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Oh, I would say that was probably wrong.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

I think eventually I started to uncover that like you were just as um sometimes frantic is me, sometimes like flailing is me. We just were like, you know, doing it live together. Um I think over time that like realness of you got exposed to me. Um, but my first impression was damn, she's got her shit together.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

You know what's kind of funny is that in a in a very similar and yet different way was my first impression of you. Really? Yes. I like so when I joined, so you joined our sorority before I did, during like formal rush recruitment. Yeah. And then I joined a semester later.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

And so when I joined, you were already doing uh a like leadership role, right? You were already vice president.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

And then I feel like how we really first met was when I like three months later, which is unfortunately uh maybe not unfortunately, but like uh quite quintessential for me is join something and then get very involved and do my time to it. Yeah. Um has been a pattern the rest of my life. So and yet, anyways, um I feel like when I joined the leadership team and you were president, that's when we like really kind of first met. Yeah. But I I remember even before then, because you were being on the exec team, like you were more visible, right, to me than I probably was to you as like a general member. And I remember just being like, oh my gosh, she's so not perfect, but like polished and gorgeous and like sophisticated, and like I I felt like you were not who I wanted to be, but like you presented yourself so put together. And I think I think in my adult life I now articulate it, I like often articulate it as I'm like painfully authentic. Um but like I've been like that my whole life, meaning like I I can't help but be myself, and so I think there was something in me that viewed your composure and and like polish and just the way that you presented yourself as so admirable because I was like, oh, she has her shit together, and like I want to be like that.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

I wish we had our videos on right now because if you could see my face, my jaw is like to the floor. When I it's actually really funny, and we're not gonna like go like total total like you know analysis of this, but like it's so funny because I you're basically highlighting like my inability to show, and these are my words, not your words, but like my inability to show like any ounce of difference as like a polished put together thing, which was my intention, by the way. Like, I definitely was like very particular about like how I presented myself, but I would actually argue like there wasn't that much authenticity in it. And your ability to like be so, and I think this is already used, like you know, painfully authentic is like what drew me to you, yeah. Because like I I think I'm much better about it now, but like was it was something really challenging for me to do entering into college. Yeah, I love that we attracted each other. This is amazing, if not perfect, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

Compliments, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

Oh, that's so funny. So, how is your impression of me wrong? Definitely not put together all the time.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

I think I don't think I think my impression of you is wrong in that, like there's so much more to you than being like a buttoned up, like professional person. Like there's just and not that I thought that's all you were, but that's all that I like my first impression was, right? And I think that was that was what was wrong. Like I think like the the silly irreverent, like like that part of you obviously like was not my first impression, and that's part of what I love about you.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

Um this was such a good prompt.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

This was really cool. This was cool to see. It's really funny to me just how much like again, I just feel like we're really compliments of what the other was looking for or like trying to emulate in our very young selves.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

I mean what I was cool. I was 18, you were 19 when we first met.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Um we might have both been 19. Why is this so hard for me?

SPEAKER_02 38:48

2010 of we met in falling sophomore year.

SPEAKER_03 38:55

2009.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Yeah, which would have been like fall september. Oh, so I guess September.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

So you might have you might have like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, fair. Yeah. So you might have just turned almost 19.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Almost 19. That sounds so young.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

Babies. I don't think I'd want to be 19 again, so I'll take 36.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

Uh I love this. So good. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

Me too. This was so good. With a listener submission.

SPEAKER_03 39:30

Let's do it. Let's see what we got this week.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Okay, so yesterday my kids had like a Father's Day pizza party at their school. Um, and they had pizza, and I guess there were like they had brownies afterwards, and the kids came home and they were just absolute like terror gremlins and chaos monkeys. Like, I was at any given point, I was like running after one of them or yelling at one of them to like stop doing something destructive, and they were in like different directions, and it was insane. Um, and then at some point they like went into the craft drawer and got out paint, and they're like, We're gonna paint rocks outside, and I was like, All right, whatever. And I like set them up with newspaper on the deck, and I was like, Okay, keep everything on the newspaper, and like you can paint your rocks. I left them alone for probably five minutes, which is my own fault, and I came back and there was just paint all over the all over the deck, and I think there was like paint in the box that I didn't realize that was not like washable toxic. Oh no, and so, anyways, I am you know immediately like okay, let's hose down the deck, let's like try to make it fun, like let's get sponges and soap and try and like wash the deck. And they were loving that, but the the paint was just not coming off, and I was super frustrated, and I was like, Oh my god, you guys, like your dad is gonna be so mad because he's like a little bit OCD about cleaning. I was like, Your dad is gonna be so mad, and um Avery, my four-year-old, looks at me and she's like, Well, I have an idea. What if we just bought a new house?

SPEAKER_00 41:25

And I was like, Avery, like that's not an option. We can't just sell the house because we've got a payment back. And she goes, Okay, what if we just don't tell him? And I thought it was so funny because it's like, let's just bring the house down and never tell him type of response.

SPEAKER_03 41:44

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

That that end really got me.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

It did. Well, I was like so anxious for her because I know that feeling of like, oh crap, what did I leave in this box? That we needed that comedic relief at the end.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

I feel like I could a hundred percent see Olivia saying that.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

Which one? Let's just sell the house and get a new one.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

And let's just not tell him. Like, I could see so see her being like, okay, we're gonna have first being like, let's just get a new house and then we don't have to deal with it. But also, I could see her being like, okay, now it's our secret. And like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah, the secrecy would definitely be like elite for her. Yeah. Be what she strives for. Gosh. I feel for her, for this woman. Oh my goodness. I am so appreciative that she shared because I bet you we've all been in some situation like that. I was initially thinking there was gonna be like paint all over the walls, you know, or like which I'm sure some of us have already experienced, myself included.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Oh, yeah. If uh if you're thinking I've never looked up how to get Sharpie out of something, you'd be lying to yourself. Definitely have.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

Definitely have. Well, that is our cue. If anybody else has um a story like this, whether it's paint or sharpie or something that you just never in your wildest dreams thought you would experience in motherhood, please share it with us. We would love to hear it. We know other moms would absolutely relate. And I think with that, unless you have something else, Kendall, we'll be back next week.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

See you next week.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

See you next time. If you're listening to this thinking, wait, I thought that was just me.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

Yeah, same. Thanks for hanging out with us. We'll be back next week with more of the things moms are thinking, but not always saying out loud.