He Packed...Except for One Child

Some weekends leave you exhausted...and somehow completely full.

This week we're talking about the dance recital that completely changed Emily's perspective on dance moms, the weird emotions that come with kindergarten around the corner, and why saying goodbye to preschool teachers feels way bigger than anyone prepares you for.

We also get unexpectedly nostalgic about MASH, school doodles, packing lists, and the invisible mental load of getting a family out the door—especially when someone volunteers to pack...and forgets an entire child's clothes.

Plus, one listener reminds us that apparently only mommy is allowed to say no.

If you've ever looked at your kids lately and thought, "how are we already here?"...wait...same.

Don't forget to follow the show wherever you listen and come hang out with us on Instagram @wait.same.pod—we're sharing Emily's infamous "Do Job" doodle and bringing back MASH.

Key Takeaways

• Sometimes the moments we expect to be stressful become the ones we'll remember forever.
• Watching our kids step into new stages of life is exciting and surprisingly emotional.
• The mental load isn't always obvious until someone else tries to take it over.
• Growing up looks different for every generation, but nostalgia has a funny way of bringing us together.
• Motherhood is constantly balancing letting go while still wanting to hold on.

Listener Submissions

DM them to us on Instagram:  @wait.same.pod

OR

Email your voice notes to waitsamepodcast@gmail.com

Transcript

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Dancing in the Rain & Summer Core Memories

SPEAKER_02 0:00

So I'm hopeful that I have created yesterday what is maybe not a core memory, but a appreciated or beloved memory. We got some like freak summer storm with it was pouring rain for hours and lightning and thunder. And I decided the kids were naked because my kids are like to be naked. And they wanted to go dance in the rain. And I decided to allow them and join them. And cute. So my dress got completely wet, but uh Charlie was interestingly like she's usually the fearless one, but she was like, uh, mommy, mommy, my hair's wet. She like was not into it. Um I know, I know. It was not what I would have expected. But Owen was just dancing up a storm, jumping in the rain. And so I'm hopeful he'll have like a special memory of dancing in the rain. This is the podcast where we say the things moms are thinking, but not always saying out loud. The unfiltered, slightly unhinged, and very real moments of motherhood that make you stop and think.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Wait, same.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

You had a big weekend this weekend, if I recall.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Oh, we did.

The Dance Recital That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_01 1:58

We had the dance recital weekend. Um, it was just as chaotic as I anticipated it to be. Um, but when I tell you that I loved every second of it, I'm not exaggerating. I, it was so cool. So I think we we lent a little bit to like on one of the earlier episodes that it's like a big hooplah. I mean, this is um like one of the big things that this dance studio does. That they do two things a year, the nutcracker and this recital. And I did not realize the um caliber of what these performers are putting on until I saw it yesterday. I mean, the production, the choreography, the in terms of like sets or you know, not necessarily costumes. Costumes are impeccable. They are there's like um each dance is telling a story, which I would gather just from like my understanding of of um like uh performance like that, but like the and the teachers are choreographing these entire you know, sets and or numbers, and these girls, I say girls because it's predominantly girls, there are definitely boys who are um participating in this, but these performers are impeccable. I mean, they are the talent that these people are showing up with to like commit to this performance, to tell this story, like the um wow factor is just there. And these are these are kids ranging from Olivia's age at five, maybe a little younger, four, and up to 17. And they have like pre-professional levels where you know, I think pre-professionals it's all women, but they are 16, 17-year-olds doing incredible point routines and um lyrical jazz and contemporary modern ballet and tap, and they are the talent is so amazing. And it was so great because Olivia got to watch the second half after her performances were done in the first half, and you could just see the awe. And one of and her teacher for ballet and tap was one of the pre-professional dancers, so she actually got to watch her perform, and you could see, and I could feel because she was sitting on my lap, like the excitement in her body. She's like, Can Miss Amber see me? I was like, Miss Amber is not noticing you right now, my love. Like she is, she focused in on this, but it was just really awe-inspiring to for me, just as somebody who has not been privy to this world really before. Um, and for Olivia, who is entering this world just for a fraction, even, um, to watch what these women have been able to really curate and craft was like really impressive. So I take back all my um irritability around the ticket prices. Like my in-laws came with us and they were like, they let this there. My mother-in-law said to me, She goes, Do they charge prices for these tickets or are we here for free? I'm like, no, we paid for a ticket. She goes, This was an incredible show. I was gonna be surprised if they didn't, you know, they didn't charge. But it was very cool. It was just very cool. I felt really energized by it, I guess you could say.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

I love that. I was gonna ask, like, what did besides can Ms. Amber see me? Like, what did Olivia have to say? I'm so curious.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

You know, she's a little bit more of like a reflector than um being able, I think, to communicate it verbally. Um, but I could see the wonder in her eyes. Like, you know, when you're just mesmerized and you're you're following movement and what's happening, and she's not distracted and she's like fully zoned in. To me, that was like the incredible piece because she was captured, like her attention was captured by what was happening. And um, you know, they had like a lighting crew, and there was, you know, really some cinematic elements to it. Um, you know, maybe not something you'd see in like professional, you know, professional performances, but there are definitely people behind the scenes who are very skilled as well in what they were doing. So it really felt like a high-caliber, executed performance. And she was just really mesmerized. And we brought Henry also. We actually had to bring him for both. I could not find a sitter this weekend. Um, and he did great. And he, I mean, he was on the phone the whole time. Can I play baby games? Can I watch this? Can I? We're like, yes, yes, yes, whatever you need. Um, but at one point, even he was like, you his even multiple times, like his attention got pulled to the stage because of what was happening up there. Um, and at one point after clapping, he started clapping and he was like, That was so good, mama. You know, like I was like, what? You even liked it. Um, yeah, I don't know, you know, I've seen some really cool performances, like really impressive performances. Like we also went to the Ed Shearing concert this week, and like there's you know, it's one thing to see with the kids. No, sorry, just Seth and I went um with some friends, but um we not with the kids, but I think my you know, it's like you see a professional, right? A celebrity, somebody who's, you know, has like you know, good, you know, gajillions of dollars behind them put on these incredible shows, right? And then you so you you almost expect that, but then I was just really taken aback by this um performance because I felt like a very similar inspirational vibe to something that was locally done and executed. Yeah, they were so I'm so proud of like all of the started crying.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

How'd she do with like the lights and stuff?

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Honestly, fine. No, no, um like nothing jarring, nothing like she walked right out. I can't wait to send you the video, but she like nailed it and just like full-blown smile on her face, so happy. And I most of the kids did really great. I actually can't even like recall one that seemed like a little hesitant. All of these kids were so great, yeah. And you know what? The theater itself or the auditorium wasn't as big as I was like prepping her for. So maybe she was like pleasantly surprised, but um, just overall it was such a great day, and I gotta tell you, if I can be a dance mom, I think I'd be a great one. Let me tell you, when I executed flawlessly yesterday myself.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

The hair, the makeup, did you have to do

Becoming a Dance Mom (Maybe)

SPEAKER_02 9:26

both?

SPEAKER_01 9:27

I did not do makeup, I didn't even tell her, and I don't think she missed it. She wasn't, you know, a lot of the kids in her age didn't. Um the hair, I did good. I did real good. And just like getting her where she needed to go, having all of the things, you know, coordinating what to do in between times, making sure she got where she needed to go. There was like no parking when we got there because some of the older girls got there before us, so we had to park across the street. But I was like, I'm not walking her across the street. I'm gonna, you know, so I like very kindly like talked to the people navigating the parking, got us in, put my flashers on, got her inside, made sure she was taken care of. Then I was like, I'm so good at this. I'm so good at this. I want to do this, I want to do this, but I also like want her to like it. Um so maybe it'll change as of yesterday, but we are not doing ballet and tap for now, but we are doing hip hop. So moving forward at the moment.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

So well, and I mean, for what it's worth, so many kids' activities, the things that you just said that you like, with the exception of maybe the hair, so many kids' activities include, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:41

So, like wherever her little heart desires that's true, but there's nothing I don't I don't foresee soccer games, for instance, maybe when she gets older, um feeling the same excitement in my body as like seeing these kids perform, but maybe they do, and I have just haven't experienced that yet.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Um have you been to a swimming?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

No, so hey, I'm missing out on the whole facet of life. There's plenty of time. She's five and a half. She's like, I think she has like swimmer shoulders. I was like, she's five and a half. Can you tell that at this age?

SPEAKER_02 11:28

I don't know. I can tell you when I when I see you next. When I see her next.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Please, please, just take a quick, take a quick peek. Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

And then you said you

Book Club, Wintering & Adult Friendships

SPEAKER_02 11:43

had book club. What is this book club? Yes. I feel like I've heard you talk about it before, but I don't I didn't know it was such like a thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

You know what? We do it monthly. I don't know. And who's we? Um a couple of a couple of Seth's friends' wives. So um two of his buddies' wives, and then some of their um, like one of their kids' uh daycare friends' moms. So there's five of us total. We're all like kind of like we mishmashed total together. Um but it's been really fun, and we meet like in different places each time. Like last night we met at um like one paseo in Del Mar. Uh, and that was fun. And but it was late, like we didn't go until 8.15. Um you met at 8.15? Met at 8.15. And it's not our typical timing, it's just like kind of how it worked out this month. We tried to meet a little bit earlier than that because we all have little kiddos at home, but um just kind of like happened, which actually worked out because I wouldn't have made it any earlier. I did not get home from um the dance recital yesterday until seven. So it kind of worked out fine. But yes, we do book club, we talk, we try to swap like nonfiction fiction. I don't always read every book. I didn't finish this month's book, uh, which was kind of funny because it was my suggestion. Um and we like probably talk about the book for like, I don't know, a fraction of the time. And we actually talk about it. Like last night we talked a little bit about like the author's writing style, if we liked it, we didn't like it. Um I actually feel this is so funny. I actually all of these women are so intelligent, and I really enjoy our conversations, which is fun. Um, sometimes I feel like the least intelligent in the room, but I do like to stretch myself, so it works out fine. Um, but I don't know, it was a great conversation. We have fun, we have good food, and I don't know, it's just like a nice little reprieve every month, like something a little bit different. So I guess I actually have a lot of hobbies, don't I know? I love that. What was the what was the book? We read Wintering by Katherine May. Um it is technically, I think it's yeah, it's nonfiction because she like writes about her life, but it's also um a theme themes surrounding um like more cold seasons and like literal, she uses like literal seasons as like examples and life in like seasons of her life to like talk about you know how you can like weather different storms and how different seasons of life bring different challenges or not as fruitful, you know, endeavors, yada yada yada. Uh but overall we have fun and we laugh a lot, and you know, we have margaritas and overall we have a good time. Like, I think one of our husbands is like, how was wine club last night? They don't even like call it our book club, even though we talk about the book. So, like, mm-hmm, jokes on you. We do talk about the book. I think next month we're talk, we're we're um reading yesteryear. Have you heard of it? No. It's it, I think just came out. It's all the rage at the moment, from my understanding, and I haven't read this synopsis, so someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's a woman who um is in modern day prescribing to like the same philosophies as like trad wives are now. I think time travel is involved in this, and she actually gets like transported back in time to a place where like she actually can't choose it anymore. And it's like her navigating that, as far as I I know. Um, I think I could be wrong in some of that. There might be more nuances to it, but I think there's a little bit of time travel, and

Kindergarten Is Suddenly Here

SPEAKER_01 16:02

I think it has to do with trad wives. So it'll be interesting.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

That sounds interesting, but yeah, I'll let you know how to apparently it's like a quick read for the back to school month.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. Olivia starts kindergarten. I know. I know in like two weeks. Tomorrow is her last day at her like preschool program.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

On a Monday.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yes, because we're traveling on Tuesday. Um, it was my choice. I needed her to go though, so I could pack. Oh so well, her teachers last her teacher's taking this week off, so we said bye to her teacher on Friday. Um and like did that whole I know. Olivia's like, but what's nice is Henry still goes to the school and Olivia will be with me at pickup so we can go see her and like give her books and stuff. They're like so flexible and lovely like that. Um, and we'll pass that classroom to go get Henry, so it'll be good. Um, so it feels a little less uh I think final for Olivia, but for me and her teacher, we were both like, try not to cry, try not to cry, try not to cry. Like they just have been so influential in her development. Like, I'm grateful. Her teacher just like loves her because she's so eager to learn and loves to learn and like wants to learn. Um, that I think it was just like really um easy for them to like do their thing. And she was the assistant teacher. Olivia was the self-proclaimed assistant teacher. So like she's like, What's Miss Sonali gonna do without me? I'm her assistant teacher. And now it's like a little running joke at this school. Um, but it's it's really cute. So there's a little bit of tears from me on Friday. Um, and she's excited. She has like a little countdown as to when her last day is, because then we fly out to go see cousins on Tuesday for a week. So, you know, it's a lot of excitement going on, a lot of change, a lot of wonderful change, but some sadness, you know, like there's like end of eras happening.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

So is she having fun like picking out? Are you doing all the back to school shopping? Like, did she get a new backpack or lunchbox or like pencil cases? Like, I don't know what kindergartners need.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

So I'm so curious your experience once Owen eventually goes to kindergarten, like when it's his turn, but like down here where we are, at least in our school district, we don't get our teachers until like the week before school. Yeah. Yeah. And there's no like general school supply list. I'm also hearing very anecdotally, it never came in like a formal email or communication from the school, that we don't actually have school supply lists. There might be like general things we need to buy for the classroom, but I don't have to get her her own pencils or her own, at least not in kindergarten. You know what that makes donate to the class.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Yeah. That makes sense because I think like things have changed so much since we were kids in, I think, in a lot of ways, for the better of trying to create more, especially in public schools, create more of like an egalitarian environment where like if you can't afford to go get, you know, the sniffin, whatever, what were those markers that all had different scents?

SPEAKER_01 19:42

You know, sniffing yes, you know what I'm talking about. They're the blue ones, like they come in the blue. Yes, I love them actually in my house now because my mother-in-law bought them for the kids. I was like, I haven't seen these in forever. Um, and like the raspberry smell. Uh uh. Uh-huh. Was it little banana? What was it? Lemon. Lemon. Maybe lemon. You're right. I don't know. Banana. Banana. I don't know. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 20:18

You think banana because that's what our kids' sunscreen, the face sunscreen is. It's banana.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Yes. Yes, you're right. It is. Maybe that's what it is. Um, so it's actually funny because I think the, to your point of like the you know, more equitable, you know, environment that we're trying to curate here might be like a California thing. So my sister, um, her daughter's going in in um August as well to kindergarten, and they have a school list and they live in Missouri. So like they have like an individual school supply list that they already got, like weeks before my sister has already done all of the shopping for.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

I mean, that's how it was when I was when I was a kid, right? Like and I went to I went to public school in California, and like you had a school supply list, but you yeah, you didn't know your teacher until like a week and a half before school.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm really um taking this as a lesson in surrendering, and my sort of type A personality um is just kind of going with the flow. I mean, the good news is like, how do I not know? She starts in like two weeks, three and a half weeks, two and a half weeks.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Yeah. I mean, the good news is like she has been in school since she was like some form of school since she was two. So you have all of the things. Like it again, to your point, she's in kindergarten. She does not gonna have to like um paper, you know, paper bag her her textbooks.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Oh my god, could you remember that? I used to make my dad do it. I was like, I can't do this. And my you know my dad, he's like so um he would have been good at it, yeah. He was so good at it. Yeah. Did you ever decorate yours, or did you just leave it as well?

SPEAKER_02 22:17

Of course. Of course I decorated it.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

I never did. And that's the book title on.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

That tracks. That's where I'm extra. I don't think it's creative as much as like, you know, I don't know. I always felt like it's so boring.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Oh, without it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

That's fair. I just didn't really like want to put my energy towards that. What was the okay? I feel like we're going

MASH, School Doodles & Millennial Nostalgia

SPEAKER_01 22:58

down a little bit of nostalgia today. What was the did you ever do um like the you'd write like certain like words down like uh do job or whatever it was, and you'd like make faces and you can make a face out of the letters. Do you know what I'm talking about? Mad libs? What are you talking about? Wait, what? What are you talking about? Okay, so just for anybody listening, Kendall mentioned she grew up in California. I grew up in Connecticut. So now we're talking like coastal, maybe some coastal differences. Um okay, I no, you'd write like um like a cootie catcher? Oh, on paper. You'd write like the letters like do job or whatever, and then like I think, and it'd be lowercase, right? So like the lowercase d O J O B, and then the B and the D. Gosh, I wish we were on video. I could write. I'm gonna, I'm gonna upload a picture to the screen, to the if I can, to the, or at least like a link to the picture of what I talk about. And then like the D and the B were the ears, and then you draw the face, and the J was the nose, and the O's were the eyes. We'd we would like doodle and like sketch when we were bored in class, and like that was one of the things. Like I'd write, I could write like do job on a page, and then I'd like pass it to you if you were sitting next to me, and then like my friend would doodle it.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

No, was this a thing you I I've literally never I've I've I don't think I've ever nope, nope, not me. Um I have doodled like the weird S, you know, that you like do with lines. The Superman S or whatever, like the big when I was older, boys used to like do the 8008 on the calculators, you know. Uh yeah. And you know what actually I I was thinking of what you were saying at first was do you remember that thing? It like wasn't a cootie catcher, but it was like an acronym, and you picked a you like, yes, MASH, thank you. Yes, um, that's what I was thinking you were talking about at first, and I was like, Yes, I definitely did that. I loved that game.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Me too. Me too. What were the categories? It was like where you'd live, who you'd marry, what job you'd like your job, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

I feel like one of them was like, so it was like where you lived, your job, who you married, um, how many kids you had, right? Wasn't that one of them? Oh, yes, yeah, how many kids you'd have. Um, and what car you drove, right? Wasn't that one of them?

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Yes, definitely what car you drove. Oh my god, I have not thought about this in forever.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

I wonder, like, I have to imagine, I don't know, that feels like a very like saying it out loud feels like a very millennial thing. Like I I I can't imagine that kids still do that.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

They have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

And I'm so curious when did it go away?

SPEAKER_01 26:28

No, I feel like they I feel like it still has to exist in some capacity. Maybe it's not like what car do you drive? Maybe it's like, you know, what, you know, what celebrity do you marry? Or like what, you know, e-bike model do you have? I don't know. You know, like I feel like the maybe the categories have shifted.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

What ETF are you invested in? Something like that.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Maybe, maybe, maybe, I don't know. Or like, you know, what sweatpants are you gonna wear today? I feel like I see only kids wearing sweatpants these days. I don't know. Maybe that's just where we are, but it's also a million degrees, but I don't know. You know, like maybe we should. Oh, I wanna know. Okay, so that's maybe games with kids at eight.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

We're gonna ask. I'm gonna ask. We can poll it. Yeah, I think you need to ask. I think we should do a poll. And I think we should play a game. You know, if you're listening to this, maybe check out our socials and we'll play a game. We'll all play a game of MASH on Instagram together.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

I want that. Let's do it. I want that. I'm also gonna I will absolutely link um my do job portrait that I'm gonna make. Um, and I really would like to know if I'm alone. I know, I know my girls back from Connecticut listening will know what I'm talking about because we did it together. But anybody else, like, is this not not a thing? Or is it just an us thing? Like, it's cute. I will, I'm gonna write it out, I'll sketch it out and I'll sh- Oh I'm gonna make a video of me drawing it. This is gonna be so cool. I'll link it. Please let me know I'm not alone because I love it.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

And you know what? You can teach, you can teach Olivia how to do it and she can bring it back.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Oh yeah. She does know how to write her letters now, so we're close.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

She can teach all her friends how to. I can't even picture what it looks like, so I'm gonna need to reference this video. I have no idea what that could look like.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Oh I'm so excited. I feel like I'm introducing you to like something that deserves to be in like the Hall of Fame. This is this, I'm so excited about this. I'm so excited about this.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Not to over not to overhype it at all.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

No, no, not at all. It was like the easy thing that you if you were like bored and you like needed to, you know, do something with your hands because you like didn't want to sit there and listen, this is what you would do. You'd like doodle this out over and over and over again. Okay. So good.

unknown 29:25

So good.

SPEAKER_03 29:27

I can't wait.

unknown 29:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

This is getting me excited for like my kids to like evolve into the next phase, you know, of like I don't know, like like school education. Like we have good public schools here, and I, you know, I grew up in a good public school system, so I'm excited for that for them to like experience that, and this is a part of it for sure. Yeah, the doodles.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Do kids still doodle though? That's my question. Is like I just don't even know what like kids all have like Chromebooks, right? I don't know. Somebody's gonna have to tell me. I'll just wait and see. At school, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Oh, I don't know. We have a lot of questions.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

What do the kids do these days? I have no idea. I know kind of what the toddl some toddlers do. Um with Chromebooks? No, not with Chromebooks, just in general. Gosh, I'm like, oh, because you oh, because you oh, I have two toddlers. That's fair. Before we move on to best

When Dad Packs...But Doesn't Actually Pack

SPEAKER_02 30:43

friend lore, I have to tell you something funny that happened. The day after Owen's birthday, we went to um Pierre's best friend or one of his best friends. His he lives uh near Nice. And uh his son was born the exact same day as Owen. Uh like on the other side of the world, right? Like at the time they were living in Brussels, and you know, we live in the Bay Area, and so the boys were born on the same day, which is so cute. And we're really we're really lucky that this was the third, the third of their four birthdays that they have celebrated together, which is special. So we went to their house just for two nights on the day after Owen's birthday. And as you well know, I am the person who packs for my family. Yeah. But I was not packing. Pierre started packing. And then, right? And then Pierre moved on and like unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, and then like was outside doing something, and I packed my clothes and then, you know, like closed all the bags and like started loading the car so we could go. Oh no. We get to, by the way, he had not been had not been packing for like probably 45 minutes.

unknown 32:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

I think it was the next day, maybe. He goes, Did you pack Owen underwear? And I said, No, you packed. He was like, Oh, well, I didn't pack that. And he goes, I said, Well, where where are Charlie's clothes? Oh no. He didn't pack, he didn't pack any clothes for her, Emily. And he was like, Well, I wasn't done packing. And I was like, You you had not in the car. You moved on to other things for like 45 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

But also, Kendall, like, he saw you close up the suitcases. He got in the car. He drove away with you. At what point was he gonna be like, oh, I didn't finish packing?

SPEAKER_02 33:31

I think he just assumed that I would you didn't review what he packed rather than just trusting that the upper 30s person knows how to pack. Um yeah, so the long story short is he forgot underwear for Owen, underwear for himself. Nice. Clothes for Charlie. So we had to go to a store the first day we were there and get like, you know, cheap clothes for Charlie and underwear for the two of them.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

That makes me laugh, but also like I feel that in my core of like oh the load.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Right? I was like, oh, okay, great. So like it became yes, yes. Um it's funny. It was honestly, it was just funny.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

That is really funny. Well, do you think that that will swing Pierre in the camp of like, okay, I learned my lesson. Next time I pack, I'm gonna remember to finish all these things, or it's gonna be like the polar opposite of like, well, I'm just never gonna pack again, you're gonna do the rest. Like, what do you think which way do we think this is gonna go?

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Honestly, I think somewhere in the middle, in terms of like, I don't think he's gonna be the one saying, like, I'm never gonna pack again. I think I'm gonna be the one being like, Well, I'm never gonna trust you to you to pack again.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

Oh, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Interesting. I was really, really proud at the start of this con. I mean, I still am, but it's amazing. But I just wanted to- I was really proud of him too. And then he took the initiative and he packed, because yes, I know you are the default packer. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

And I was it that is so funny that you say that, Em, because I literally had the same thought where I was like, oh my gosh, this is so great. Like, I don't have to, he's doing it. Like, I don't have to do it. And then we get there, and that was just prompt him, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:48

He just started to do it.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Um, I think I may have said, like, hey, can you grab clothes for the kids or something like that? Or like, oh, maybe have said, like, can you pack for yourself or something like that? Yeah. Uh oh, that's so funny. Yeah, it was funny though. It was like, yeah, this is this is the like splash of cold water reality.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Yeah. This was too good to be true. Here you go. Come come back down from that cloud you were hanging out on.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

I mean, I had all of my clothes, but that's because I packed for myself. Totally, totally.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

We are going on the um, we're going on a trip on Tuesday to see my sister, and I've like already started my packing list, but I don't pack Seth. He is on his own. So I let him grab like all of his things, but then I repack the bag because physically he just throws things in there, and I'm like, this is not an efficient use of our space. So like once he says he's done putting his things in, I like redo it. Not like pull new things, I just like refold them and like put everything in the bag so we can actually get more in the bag. Um, that's like my extent of um interfering with Seth's packing. I mean I just I can't do, I don't want to do it for him. You know, he knows what he likes.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

See, that's interesting. I don't know. I feel like I don't even know why it started in our relationship that I packed. Yeah. I mean, it can also be, I know something. But I've always just packed for him.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Well, it could also be like a love language almost of like, you know, you're taking care of him. It's like a, you know, a loving thing. And then like over time, I think it gets like just something it gets used to. I mean, I can see how it's used as like a, you know, I'm gonna think through this for us. Like, I, you know, I have a vision, I love you. It's like, you know, something you do for him, yada yada yada.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Well, and clearly I'm more efficient at it. Like you're more of the what? Efficient at it. Oh yeah. Yes. Yes, I would say you are. And then I get to ch like pick his clothes that I like to see him in, you know.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Yes. Well, that I think if you have a preference on that, absolutely. Then yeah, I totally get that. I'm just happy Seth is clothed.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

I love that you make a packing list though, because I absolutely make a packing list. And I hate when I don't have a packing list.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

I have to get it out of my head and on paper because every trip is like fairly we need like the same basics, but it's like if we're changing, I need to know how many days we're going and how many nights we're going. So I just like jot it out really quickly. I don't be like, you know, this shirt with that paper. I don't do like outfits. I just do like I need six outfits and I need, you know, four pajamas for the kit or whatever it is, you know. And if they're a particular event, then I'll write them out. But like this one's pretty easy. We just need like shorts and t-shirts and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

I do the same. I like I usually write like at the top how many nights, how many days? Sometimes I'll write like the weather, or if we like are oh sure, packing for, yeah, like you said, an event or something. Um I'm so curious if that's like is that our type A-ness, or is that our momness? Like, are other people listening writing lists? I I want to know, like somebody tell tell us if you're writing lists. Yeah, because mine started when I had kids. I didn't write a list before. Oh, see, I always like, maybe not always, but I feel like once I actually started packing, you know, like I feel like when you're young, I don't know, you like don't pack as intentionally or like I feel like once I was like a grown-up packing, I started writing lists.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

Yeah, fair. Fair. All right, we'll pull that too. When did your packing list era begin? If it started at all. All right, let's do some

Best Friend Lore: Who's the Bad Influence?

SPEAKER_01 40:23

best friend Lore. Let's see. Yes, please.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Um, okay. I'm really curious what you were gonna say to this. Who enables the bad decision and who's the voice of reason?

SPEAKER_01 40:37

I think if we had to like go black and white and make those labels right now, I would say you're the enabler and I'm the voice of reason. In that, yeah, I think an explanation because I am so scared of breaking any rule, especially if we're in public, I get like really anxious about it, so I like won't do it. And I feel like if we did something that was like a little mischievous, you're likely the one behind it.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

That's right, not me, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

But you know what? I do feel like I feel like classically in our Emily Kendall friendship, you're absolutely spot on. I would say in maybe the past like handful of years, I feel like it we kind of flip-flop. Like I think we both wear both of those hats at times now, but I think like I don't know, when I think about like 10, 15 years ago, like absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Yeah, I remember like so many times you like in college dragged me somewhere and I was like, I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. This isn't right. Why are we doing this? Because it's fun, that's why. It gave me so much anxiety. Um, I probably did it anyway, but you made me. But I would agree, yeah, we've probably flip-flopped a handful of times over the last like handful of years. That was a good one. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I would say you're the more wild one, and I'm the we need to follow the rules.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

I just I I think life's too short. And I also think in general, I don't, I I genuinely like I don't I don't mean this as uh any negative. I think I care less what people think.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Yeah, fair.

SPEAKER_02 42:44

Like I don't really care if somebody gets annoyed with me for wooing at a triathlon at eight in the morning on a Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Uh that was not a rule follower thing.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

That was I'm trying to sleep thing. And again, for me, that was like, hey, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm never gonna live on the triathlon route. This sounds like something fun to do.

SPEAKER_01 43:15

Whatever. Yes, yes, that's fair. And there will also be people running by our house later in the morning.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

You know what? There really weren't. There really weren't.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

But I think the people that were really needed the wooing more than the people earlier in the day. Okay, they needed the motivation because they were behind. See, I'm there for them. I got them then at that hour. Um, I do also think I I care a little bit less about what people think nowadays. Um, I actually find myself like I catch myself being like hesitant to do something, and I'm like, okay, why am I hesitant to do it right now? Oh, because like concerned about what people are thinking. Okay, well, F it. We're just gonna do it. And then I'll actually do it. Where historically that probably would have held me back more. Um I think that's so accurate as humans. You know, we're like, we're doing it. We're doing it. Yeah, that's so accurate. Um all right, should we do listener submission quick? Yes,

Listener Submission: "Only Mommy Gets to Tell Me No"

SPEAKER_01 44:19

please. All right, let's see what we got today. All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

So we are deep in our independence, have to do everything yourself. And also deep in our mommy has to do everything, not daddy phases. And this morning we were running late, and I told her, No, mommy needs to put your shoes on. We don't have time. And her dad said the same thing. He said, No, you gotta listen to mommy, and she went, No, you don't say no, mommy says no. And so I told her no, and she started crying. But that was my morning.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Oh only mommy gets to tell me no. That's cute.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

Uh but we had we definitely I totally interpreted that differently as like mommy's the one who says no. You're the one who says yes. Like, or maybe that's just my uh my projection.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Uh-huh. You like the mom is the rule enforcer, like the timeline enforcer, and dad doesn't get to say no because he's fun.

unknown 45:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

He's the fun one.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

Well, well, I mean, that's not entirely our dynamic, but like often the kids will go, they'll like ask me for something, and I'll say some, like, you know, I'll say a response, and then they'll go ask Pierre. And sometimes I can even like hear them asking Pierre, and I'll be like, Uh-huh, we are not going to say different things. Like, yeah, good try. Yeah, exactly. Good try. That's funny. I I mean, like, honestly, the shoes on, I I feel for her so much. Uh, it's a it's a hassle. It really is. And like, I don't know. I my kids right now in the fact in the phase of like he can, he's absolutely capable of doing it. I've seen him do it. He does it every so often. But like sometimes it's just really easier for me to like throw your dang shoes on to get us out the door.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

Yeah. We actually don't put shoes. Olivia does because she's old enough to do it most time, most of the time on her own. Henry doesn't will take them off in the car, no matter what shoe it is. Sneaker, slip-on, croc. So we just don't put them on him until we get where we're going. Because he'll take them off, and it's a waste of time to put them on at home.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

You know what I'm waiting for is for my kids. Actually, Olivia might be old enough for this. Kizicks makes kids' shoes.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Yes, the slip-ons. I'm so I saw that. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

Um, which like probably isn't the best for their like orthopedic health, right?

SPEAKER_01 47:28

Like, Kizicks isn't they might be better than some of the cat and jack stuff we put I put on my kids at least, you know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 47:38

That's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

I don't know. At least on the sneaker department, I do try to go like something with a little bit more like structure. Yeah. That's like meant for stride right. Like stride right. We do sometimes see Kai run. Um Livy also has wide feet, so like those just fit her for longer, also. So it's like almost worth that. But we'll do like the sandals or you know, the Crocs or whatever. Um so I don't know. But I enjoyed that submission today. I feel like it really hit home. And if anyone listening has their own, please send them to us. We are always looking for more submissions. We want to hear what you were navigating.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

Yes. Send us, send us the funny things, send us the ridiculous things. We want to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 48:30

Even the sad things will commiserate with you.

unknown 48:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:33

Uh all right. And with that, we will be back next week. If you're listening to this thinking, wait, I thought that was just me. Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

Thanks for hanging out with us. We'll be back next week with more of the things moms are thinking, but not always saying out loud.