Nobody Prepared Us For This | Season 2, Episode 2 🎙️🛁 From Rejection to Affection: Dating Over 50, Ghosting & Finding Love Again ❤️

TubTalk with Jill & Tam – Season 2, Episode 2 🎙️🛁

From Rejection to Affection: Dating Over 50, Ghosting & Finding Love Again ❤️😂

Nobody prepared us for rejection.

And nobody really prepared us for dating over 50 either. 💀😂

In this honest, hilarious, and surprisingly heartfelt episode of TubTalk with Jill & Tam, the girls dive into one of the most relatable topics in modern dating: rejection, heartbreak, ghosting, healing, and finding the courage to put yourself back out there again.

Jill shares her journey through multiple dating disappointments, phone dates, ghosting, unanswered questions, and learning how to stop taking rejection personally. But just when she was ready to swear off dating forever... something unexpected happened.

Could one of those "rejections" actually turn into something more? 👀

In This Episode:

•  Dating over 50 
•  Rejection and heartbreak 
•  Ghosting in modern dating 
•  Healing after a breakup 
•  Learning to trust again 
•  Dating after divorce 
•  Communication in relationships 
•  Falling in love with potential 
•  Self-worth after rejection 
•  Healthy relationship habits 
•  Second chances in dating 
•  Finding love later in life 

Plus:

✨ The phone date that started TubTalk
 ✨ Why ghosting hurts more than people admit
 ✨ How rejection can become redirection
 ✨ What made one man stand out from the rest
 ✨ Why communication is Jill's love language

You'll Also Hear:

•  Why you can't say the wrong thing to the right person 
•  The difference between affection and attention 
•  Why flowers, effort, and intentionality still matter 
•  How personal growth comes from heartbreak 
•  Why healing yourself is more important than changing someone else 

Favorite Quotes from This Episode:

💛 "You can't say the wrong thing to the right person."
 💛 "Communication is my love language."
 💛 "Don't fall in love with potential."
 💛 "Something better is coming."

If You Love:

•  dating podcasts 
•  dating over 50 conversations 
•  relationship advice 
•  healing after heartbreak 
•  dating after divorce 
•  personal growth 
•  women supporting women 
•  real and relatable dating stories 

...this episode is for you.

Grab your favorite drink, hop in the metaphorical tub with us, and join the conversation about rejection, resilience, healing, communication, and finding love when you least expect it.

✨ Talk Blonde to Me ✨

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Okay, well, I'm patiently waiting. Pam. Oh, she's always late for the tub. Well, I guess she wasn't last week. Last time she was waiting for me because I was at hot yoga. I had to get some jewels. I was so ready. We have to turn yours a little bit because we gotta get to get her in there. Your camera makes you look younger.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Oh, it does? Yeah. I think it's oh my gosh. And we're not fielded. I don't think, Anne. Grante. Thank you for my pillow so much.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

I love it. Hi, Jillie. Hi. We're going live. Okay, we are live. All right. Well, so what's our topic? Well, I don't know what our topic is. You won't. This season is called What Nobody Prepared Us for. But we never know what's going to come out of her ha her mouth. So let's just recap from last week. So um, no one prepared us for motherhood. Like there was not a book about remember back in the day, though, there was the book that was called Well, I don't know what it's called. But something about motherhood, like preparing yourself for motherhood. But anyway, it didn't really prepare for what was really what really came.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

So there was also a book called How to Feed Your Husband and Keeping Happy. That book is no longer read.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

So there you go. Okay. Yeah. Well, so today is another episode. Is we're we're already into season two. And you guys. Episode two. And guess what? I got all of these episodes uploaded for our podcast. So go check out Tub Talk with Jill and Tam. Uh, we're on Spotify. Um, I haven't hooked up the YouTube yet, but we're on Spotify, iHeartRadio. We're on all of the platforms, um, Apple Podcasts, all of that. So go check out the podcast if you want to rewatch any of our episodes that we've done live. Do they pay? No. It's free. It's free. Oh, you can want to watch it. That's amazing. I love it. All right. So another episode of No One Prepared Us for This. And I don't know what's going to come out of her mouth. So here we go. Tam, what are we doing tonight?

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Okay, guys, so you know we don't rehearse anything. And Jill will come to me and she's like, What are we talking about? And I said, I'll meet you in the tub.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

But I've had to be like, Tam, just make it normal. Like, because some of the things she comes up with during the day, I'm like, we could never talk about that in the tub. She's like, You watch. So I never know. I never know.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Just so you know, I thought about it a lot about you. About me. Uh-huh. From we're we're gonna talk about you. Because I'm boring, but we are talking about tonight for you from rejection to rejection. To rejection. To rejection to affection. Oh, so you're talking about dating. Yes. We're back to dating again. I know, but finally, after all the rejections, something has become happy. Yeah. Something has become possible. Okay, so I'm gonna interview Joe, you guys, so you guys know what's going on.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Okay. So we started Tub Talk in the tub because Jill had what you would never have heard of in your life is a phone date from a very nice, good-looking gentleman, but we didn't know. Because she had a phone date, which I've never heard of in my life. And so, anyway, they talked on the phone. Yeah. And that went good rejection. Rejection. Yeah, you were rejected. Yeah, I mean, I've had a lot of rejection. Oh, wait, I gotta back up, you guys. She had a previous rejection. This is like lots of rejection. So But just since you've been to the Hes Hacienda, since you've been living with me, first we had the rejection. Yeah. Yes. When I moved in here. It was bad, you guys. If you think anybody it was bad. I was meant to have suffered much through this.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Because in that rejection, well, I mean, sorry, you had to grow your wings, like your angel wings, through that rejection because she had to like talk me through it. Yeah, it was bad.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

But you guys through every tragedy you find humor. And the favoritist was I was supposedly the middleman. She was the we put her in the middle. You put me in the middle.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

He wanted me out of the middle.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Yeah, I put you in the middle because it was a little sketchy and dicey. She's a blue. I yeah. She's she called me some stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

So she puts me in the middle, and the next thing I know, I'm gonna get a suit, I guess she what's it called?

SPEAKER_00 4:44

That he was gonna put uh what is it, restraining order on me. The middle was trying to be the middleman. But the topper, the kicker at the end was I had locked him and he still had my email. But the kicker at the end was that he asked for eight dollars back after all the money I'd spent on this relationship. He asked for eight dollars back. I am dying in the kitchen. Yeah, like I am lacking in the kitchen. So your bill was the last thing he said to me. And my response to him was tag your it. I was so proud of you, Jill. Because you know what though, that relationship, finding the humor and the silver lining is that the last six months, um, since all of that, I guess it's been seven months now, but sorry, the last six months, I have grown so much, and I'm able to stand up for myself now. Yes, and I don't care what anyone thinks about me any longer. It's just been refreshing for sure.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Yeah, and you guys, for all of you guys that have had rejection, I never have. But anyway, so all of you that have had rejection, it you gotta sit in it. Yeah. What did I tell you, Jill? Sit in that rejection. Yeah, you have to do that.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

And we're still and my mom, and she's gonna be watching this, but my mom's like, Jill, don't feel bad. Like, I don't want to see you feel bad. And I'm like, mom, I get to feel through this and grow through this, right? Um, because if you don't sit in the field, then you're just masking it and pushing it down deep, right? Yeah, and then you get sick.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

And you put on some weight. We don't want that. Okay, so then again, that was rejection number one. Then excuse me, yeah. Okay. This is only what I've suffered through, you guys. I mean, I should be getting child support for this. Anyway, the next thing is we talked about the phone date. Oh. No, there was that was reject my friend. No, there was a friend. Oh, she had a friend. I know I still have a friend. She has a friend. The problem was I really liked the friend. I was cheering for the friend, girlfriend go.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Yeah, girlfriend go. But I just never, you just don't know when you're ever gonna hear from them. If you yeah, some days I some weeks I'd hear a few times, other weeks I wouldn't hear at all, and then I'd hear every day. And like it was just very inconsistent. I never knew where I stood for sure. I think he thought you were a friend. Yeah, we're just we try to make it so I guess it's not rejection.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

No, it just didn't go anywhere. Yeah, he kind of rejected you.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Okay, and then we went to the phone date. Oh, yeah, and then the phone date. Okay, so then I had my very first phone date, as you all know, if you've watched um the very first episode. Um, and he was so kind, like so fun, so kind. The the phone date was great. Well, I wasn't there, but he came out of the bedroom after two and a half hours on a phone date. Yeah, and it was a great phone date. But then after that, I talked about the phone date, and he got a little leery about me because I was talking about the phone date on our live stream. Season one, episode one. And he defriended me.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

And you know what I was grateful for? Without him, you guys, when she came out and said, I have a phone date tonight, I was dying. I felt like I was in the sixth grade. I'm like, we're going the tub, and that's how we started. Yeah, that's how we started. Without him, we would be nowhere. Yeah, yes, that turned rejection too, because he defriended her. And if you know Jill, that kills her, you guys. It is worse. It is worse than if you stole her car. She can't even take it.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

She said because I love friends. I know. So I got defriended. So then we had rejection number four. Whew, that was a doozy. That was that was a doozy. It was really hard for a minute. And I say a minute because it came in really quick, like the lights were on, but no one was home.

unknown 8:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Can I say that? At first you got in, the lights were on. The lights were on. Like it was like things were clicking, and yeah, and then no one was home. And it was just like shut down, ghosting, like nothing. Uh-huh. Yeah. Like rejection. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Which, if there's any man listening, don't do it. That's right. Oh my god. Let me can I give him an excuse to the man? Okay, yeah. Because you guys, you'll be proud to know I know men listen because they tell me they listen, and they tell me this is like their cheat sheet. I even interviewed a man at the doghouse for a friend. Oh. Yeah. Wow. My girlfriend from St. George, I interviewed for her. Wow. So anyway, but what um what happened on that? If you're gonna, if you're just gonna you just don't really like someone, this is what you tell them. You go, you know what? You are amazing. And some woman is so Oh, we're talking here. Yeah, you are amazing, Jill. And some man is so lucky to have you. I am just not over my first relationship, and I'm so sorry, but you are the best.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

And you know what's so funny is that I have one more rejection in there. But it was just a short rejection, but the crazy so I've had five rejections. But the crazy thing, I'm not, you can't make this up, is that the the two rejections that came in hot and left really hot, guess what? Their birthdays were the same day. May 12th. May 12th. Oh wow, and then the other rejection, his birthday was May 13th. So I just don't think I jive with whatever sign that is. What sign is that? The other rejection was May also.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

The end of May. Oh you guys, if anyone's watching, she cannot date anyone in May. No, no Taurus, no early Gemini. You're not Gemini.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah. Uh-huh. Yes. So Aries don't drive with Tauruses. Is that what I'm saying? Taurus and a little early Gemini. Okay. It's probably so there you go. That's just a little tidbit of info for you. All right. Um, okay, so then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

So oh but can I say this? Because I'm listening to Jill with all her great stories and her rejections. And the one story, can I talk about my story that still remains with me? For sure. Mm-hmm. So I was 20 years old, Jilly, and I had moved to Phoenix by myself. I thought you didn't have any rejection. Well, you'll hear the story. It wasn't really a rejection. Oh, okay. But anyway, when when he took me out, he said, You are not beautiful. But you have a I have dated beautiful women. Beautiful. But you have a great personality. So when we continued to date and I met his father, I said, I just want you to know, Bob, I am not beautiful. Your son has dated beautiful women. I got one hell of a personality. So from then on, his his dad, Bob, called me homely. That was my reason. But we we were friends forever until he passed. So that was a great thing. That is so funny. Okay, so rejection, rejection, rejection, so much rejection. Now let's talk about affection because you guys, I come home last night from Marysville. It's late. Julie was lit up like a damn Christmas tree. So what happened? You know how a woman's like so giddish happy that you think you're gonna get diabetes. Okay, so what happens?

SPEAKER_00 12:09

Oh my goodness. So rejection number three, maybe should we call him number three? Yeah, he can be number three. Well, he's the one that started the whole Tub Talk. Thank you so much. Yeah. The first phone date that I ever had, he the one that defriended me.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

He finally got the nerve up to friend me again and to drive all the way to St. George and take me out on a date.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Hey guys, so for those of you guys, you girls listening and you guys listening. So for girls, please.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Well, and the reason why he defriended me in the first, and maybe we'll have him in a tub talk here. The reason why he defriended me is because of all the comments in there that was like, oh, he's not your guy. The other phone date was would be more of your guy. So it kind of shut down this confidence a little bit, but he did a lot of work around that, which was great, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah, yeah. So then he came back. So here's the thing, guys. This is what you do. You don't ask her to meet you halfway. No. That no, not doing it. The second thing, when he showed up, and what I understand now from Top Top, he got some tips. He did.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

So what did he do right in all of these episodes? What did he do right? He showed up with his car spotless. Hallelujah. Yeah. And he brought flowers and not only flowers, but he went and found me my favorite flower, which is tulips. Wow. And he put two bouquets together, bought scissors, bought the vase, and he like arranged this whole bouquet with tulips in the middle and flowers all around it.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

That is called affection. Okay, so he comes. Did he show up at the house with all this? Yeah. Because I was not here. Yeah. So okay, so so how did he look? He comes to the door. Now here's another thing about image guys. Yeah. Go ahead. How do we?

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Well, he looked, we were going hiking. So he he looked great, you know, for hiking clothes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So and did he have like a Daniel Boone hat or no?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

No.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

No, he didn't have a hat on.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

That's good. Yeah. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

So you can get the full classy. Yeah. Okay, classy. Very good.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

So we just had fun. He knows I love surprises. So it was just spontaneous and fun. So we went on a couple of hikes. We went and got a cookie at Dutchman's sponsor for this Tub Tot, right? For Tub Tot. So we did that. We went to dinner.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

We oh the Wait, when you ordered dinner, did he order for you? Did you how did you do dinner?

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Well, we were just dinner hiking. We were so dirty, like hiking, dirty and sweaty. So we just went to mixed greens on the boulevard and got a salad or a bowl or something. Oh, we went to the labyrinth, my favorite place. We went and walked the labyrinth and I walked him through that like I do on my women's retreats and helped them process through the labyrinth. And he was so generous in doing that with me. Um and then to top it off, we jumped in Tammy's freezing cold swimming pool in the backyard and did a cold plunge. And he did that with you. He did. I just cannot bowled right in and he followed right after me.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

So did you skinny dip? Did you wear a water suit? What did you upload? I just jumped in. I know, but Jill, it's about appearance. We just changed into our swimming suit. Okay. Full piece, full piece. Full piece suit. Okay, that sounds great so far. No dude swimming here.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Okay, so then what happens? Yeah, so then we just talked till like 12 30 in the morning. It was super fun. And then he left. And then he left. Yep. Yeah. That is so nice. I know. So then he left, but then we kept in touch. He did not ghost me. He did not we kept in touch. And then we went on another date last weekend. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Oh, so you've had two dates. Yeah. Oh my gosh, you guys. This is this is really, really affectionate. Yeah. It's fun. It's fun. We'll see where things go for sure. So dating in the 50s, there's going to be younger people here. There's going to be older people here. Right? Oh, yeah. So what is it that makes him stand out? Like, will you date him again?

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Yeah, I'll date him again for sure. He's very um, he makes me feel like I'm adored and cherished. He always, he always says as we're getting out the car, he's like, no, don't forget I'm gonna get your door because I just I'm not used to that, right? You mean the other people didn't get your door? Uh no, some of them have gotten my door. Good. Yeah. No, it's a big deal to me. It's just old fashioned. Some of them have gotten my door, but I we've been together so much that he's always like, hey, I'm getting your door. I'm getting your door, because I have to be reminded, or else I'll just jump out. Um, and he is he's such a great guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

So do we have to worry about another crisis and rejection, or do we think we're on a better path?

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Well, I thought I was on a better path with some of the others, too. I know. So you just we'll see how things go. And at the same time, I feel like things are going really well.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

That is so good. Yeah. So, guys, you know what's gonna be fun is that next week, I haven't told Jill is we're gonna have somebody really fun in the tub with us. What? Yeah. You get you guys are gonna wonder, I'll give you a hint, what a man wants. It's gonna be so much fun. It's a man. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

We're having a man and we're having a man. Well, that makes sense because we've had a ton of men reach out and be like, oh my gosh, thank you so much for your tips in there. Because primarily we've most of 98% of my followers are women, right? And so we primarily did this for women. Um, but all these men are starting to watch too to get the tips for what they could be doing better. So that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Well, and here I like we're gonna have a man's perspective after being divorced. And really, what does he want? Why why was he divorced? What? Oh, I think that's because we women walk on water, and we don't think we do anything wrong. So I think this is gonna be interesting.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Well, now I'm dying to know who it is.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

I can't tell you. What it's a secret. It's it's someone you've never met. You don't even know this person. Okay. Well, this should be fun. And it's gonna be really, really fun.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Okay. For that. Oh my goodness. Well, join us next week because I'm gonna be surprised too. I don't even know. Yeah. Tam's all full of surprises, but I love surprises.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

So it's gonna be so much fun, guys. And I'm so glad we're season two, episode two. Well, tell me this with another.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

I feel like I've had all this rejection, and I you've only said that you were homely.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Like, well, besides Hey, today the lady at the McDonald's drive-thru said she liked my hair. She was Spanish. I think that's what she said. But if I said thank you. Oh my goodness. But no, um, I think the thing with rejection is you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. And you can't say the right thing to the wrong person. And I think sometimes women go from I I've had girlfriends, I've had to say, they'll call me up, they go on a date, they call me up, he's the guy. I go, no, it's only a date. It's only a date. Women do this, as Jill does, says this all the time. She goes, I just go from here to the beginning. And I'm like, no, it is the our really good friend Jill tells us you have to date at least a year through every holiday. Like, if they don't give you good gifts, you can't marry him. That is wrong.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

I mean, you have to know. Yeah. Yeah, you can. And I I feel like, you know, in the past, people would say, Jill, when you find someone that you really click with, things are easy and it just flows. It's just easy. And I it just seems easy right now. Just peaceful, easy, and flowing. So not rushed, not anything, just flows.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

And I think people find someone, but the problem is, you guys, the problem is you start taking that person for granted. Because I'm running my restaurant in the summer. I see the men and women come, and I'm like, oh my gosh. He jumps out of the car, he comes up, he sits down, she's bringing in two kids and a cat. And I'm like, for hell's sakes, help her.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

So you you don't even want to lose that romance or the relationship gets old. Right. Yeah. It just gets old, and then you end up you're just gonna be single all your life. Because you just as well. If I always say it's better to be lonely by yourself than lonely in a relationship. That's true. That's true. It is so true.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

And even because that's the reason why we've had a few divorces, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:07

I have only had two, surprising to everyone. I know. Same, same same. Yes. We're only the number two. But you know what? If you're in the wrong relationship, you guys have the courage to really be polite and leave it with class, but get out of it because the wrong doesn't really ever turn into right.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

But do you feel like you do everything you can to save it, though, at the at the beginning? Like go to therapy, do you know? Yeah. I'm into so much therapy in my life.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Episode three. Goodness, season one.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

I'm gonna be teaching Morella some things, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Yeah, you know what, you guys, I think the one thing that I know, Jill and I talk about this communication is so, so important. Yes. And if you're with somebody and there is no communication and they can't hear you and you can't hear them, that's something I would work on. If I was a guy, if a woman says something to you and you don't respond, you don't answer, and then you talk start talking about yourself, you got some work to do.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Well, and communication is my love language. Like it is for a lot of people. I just I have to have the communication or it just doesn't work for me, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

And so the rejection, the ghosting, all of that, it just well, and I think communication, e if you're in a relationship and the communication isn't right. What may you start to take it on that something's wrong with you. Right. And when they start to tell you maybe some negativity about you, yeah, you start to take all that in, girls. No, no, no. Yeah. You you can't, we've got to get everybody, guys and girls, you have to just know this. I love this person, I just don't live with this person. Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Okay, so to wrap up, no one prepared us for rejection, right? So give us your best tip from Tem about rejection or about a married quote or something. Like what is your what's the best tip from Tim tonight to end us off?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

I think in these relationships, and if you're looking at rejection, look in the mirror at yourself. Look at what you might could have done better. Yeah. What you could have done differently, but always have the class to just improve yourself. Just don't try to change someone else. No. Please don't try to change someone else.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Well, and like Mel Robbins in her book, Let Them, right? You and people just are not gonna change most generally. Yeah. So you just gotta let them. And I have the tendency of falling in love with um potential, right? Falling in love with potential and hoping that they would meet up to their potential because I could see so much in them. And no more. I've learned so much the last six months.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

And you know what, you guys, even though if you've been rejected, you get through it because something better is coming for you. Yeah, it really is. It's coming your way, something great is coming.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Yes. So if you're going through a rejection period of time, whether it's a relationship, in your job, whatever that looks like, just know that you're gonna grow through it and something better is coming out the other side. So and we'll close with Oh, wait, here's a good saying.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

What is it? For all of you guys that are having issues with rejection, and you're moving through it. Just remember, as Dr. Seuss said. Oh, what is it? Congratulations. Today is your day. You are off to great places, you are off and away. And that's where Jilly's going. She's going to great places and she's off and away.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

So are you. We're off, girls. All right, you guys. We love you so much. We'll see you next week with a surprise guest that I don't even know about. He'll be in the tub with us. All right. See ya. Love ya.