Lightening Up with Alex Joss

Alex Joss joins the pod to discuss Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, husband life, and serve up some very blind rankings!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

And he's pushing my buddy who's like the biggest one out of all of us. And he's like, You're gonna need to stop. All right, like he's very calm. He's like, Look, you don't want to do this. And he's like, I don't give a shit. He's like, Okay, just hugged him, put him down on the ground, and the guy's flailing, he couldn't do anything.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

All right, guys, welcome to Almost Funny with Judson Beach. Today we have a super special guest. I'm actually really excited to talk about this. It's a little different than what we normally get into. Uh, it's a jujitsu coach and competitor over 10 years of experience. He just won first place in the National Open. Um, he said he's gonna beat me up after this. It is Alex Joss, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Hey, how's it going, everybody? I'm happy to be here. Woo! Yeah, it's gonna be a fun day. Share some cool jujitsu knowledge and stories, and I hear you trained a little bit before, huh?

SPEAKER_03 0:47

It's fun. Like, if you've never done it, it I feel like people go one of two ways with it, where you you get addicted to it immediately, or you're like, I'm literally never going back in there again.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

That's definitely the truth. Like, yeah, you kind of know right away whether it's I just got beat up by this 15-year-old girl. Like, I need to learn this magic, or I'm never going back. Like, I and it's that like you know, that ego or just being able to let go and suck at something and start growing.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Well, and nobody's it's I love a thing where nobody's good at it right away. You nobody's good at jujitsu. Nobody walks in and is like, I'm pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah, I've been amazed, like um there'll be people that come in, they run ultra marathons, they're just you know super bodybuilders, they look like these specimens, and then they're breathing heavy within like five minutes and can't throw off someone that weighs a hundred pounds. Like, yes, and yeah, that's just the fun of it. Like, it doesn't matter too much about strength or size, like it's more knowledge versus knowledge, and being able to uh just kind of show your problem-solving ability against somebody else, and um, yeah, it's just kind of a battle of the minds all who's gonna win this chess match. Yeah, there's a little bit of the chess analogy for sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

And speaking of winning, you're coming on hot off of a victory. Uh give us this medal.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Show us the uh bling. We got the gold medal from the Nashville Open here, had a great day, uh, submitted a couple people out there, and um those are just the audience.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Those aren't even the competitors. No, and then he was putting people in arm bars on the way.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Anyone that looked at me funny, they were going down. But we just had a blast out there.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Uh, me and a bunch of teammates competed. We all came home with a bunch of gold, silver, gold, and so you guys cleaned up. We really cleaned up. And then, you know, at the end of it, everyone that gets a medal does the uh open class where it's all weight classes go against each other. And me and my good uh friend and teammate Jason, we both made it to the finals together and got to compete against each other for uh you know, just to close out the bracket.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

If you don't mind me asking, you never ask a lady their weight. What weight class are you operating out of right now?

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Matt, um way, like 175, that's middleweight. Yeah, you can go against some big people up there. I wonder how to do that.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Are you cutting guy to try to get into that or is it pretty easy?

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Uh depending on the tournament. I bigger tournaments, I'll definitely try to like be larger and then be at the top end of that. Right, squeak in right under. Yeah. You're sweating a lot, just draining yourself to almost nothing just to hit the scale. Yes. And then go eat as much food, drink as much water for the next morning. But uh, this this tournament, you really can't do that because like you step on the scale and you step on the mat.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

So if you're really no time, barely any time. No, no time to cheat. Yeah, you gotta kind of show up as you are. Like, this is how much you weigh, brother. Like, get in there. 100%. It's you know, it's legalized cheating a little bit. Like well, it's dangerous. I hear it's dangerous to be doing that. It's it was like the original Ozempic, just getting in the sweatsuit and pouring the water out of your body that you can't walk.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Yes, I've I've had to cut out like I don't know, in 30 minutes, I've lost a good like seven, eight pounds. I feel like 30 minutes, yeah. I sweat I sweat out an insane, uh, insane amount.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

So and it does get warmer in here. So, folks, track along at home. Let's watch those pores open up. You're just doing the pod to cut weight today.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

That's what it is. I heard it's a good warm spot.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

It's a good warm studio. I'm gonna get down seven or eight pounds by the time I get out of here. So if people aren't super familiar with jujitsu, I kind of want to start where you started in it and if you had a different athletic background that led you to it, because people come at it from all different sorts of ways. Like I trained in it briefly, like less than a year. But when I was doing it, I was pretty into it. But coming out of a ballet background, that gave me a certain perspective on it. Did you do something else before, or was this kind of like, this is my thing, I finally found something?

SPEAKER_02 4:58

It it definitely was some of that. Like I, you know, I'd play pickup basketball, I ran track and field and stuff growing up, but you know, never never really got too competitive in it or, you know, felt that love for it. But um, you know, after after I graduated college and me and Amber were up in uh my wife up in Chicago, we uh, you know, she was doing her comedy thing and really something that she loved. And you know, I I didn't have that. I was just working and kind of going home and you know, maybe drinking a little bit and not really having that hobby. And I remember your sport was tequila. It was uh yeah, a couple beers and whiskey, but but um yeah, I had some friends in uh that I would go visit uh back home and they got into it, and we would go fight in their basement and they would just you know beat all us up, you know, just hanging out and like, oh, let's let me show you this arm bar or something cool.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

If you have buddies that do it, all they want to do is be like, hey, come here real quick.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Everybody wants this show. I try my best to like resist that urge because people don't want to be strangled if they're not that okay, to get on a little side trail here, the strangling.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

This to me was like the I learned something about myself. One of the early classes I'm in, you're getting submitted, you lose air, and it's to me, I was like, whoo, that was a rush.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Do you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Oh man, people describe it when you like you should always tap and stop before you go unconscious, right? Let that be on the record, tap.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

But yes, but um like I've heard, I haven't gone to sleep, but I've heard that you wake up like it's the best nap of your life. You're just like, uh, well, what's going on? Why is everybody looking at me?

SPEAKER_03 6:49

And they're just like, oh I mean, I it was weird. It was this thing of like, oh, I don't want to like do that too much because I don't want to be a guy that's like, I need to be, you know, asphyxiating myself all the time. They're gonna find me in a closet in three weeks. I learned too much. This is crazy. But that the whole experience that I had with jujitsu, everything was like that, where it's like you get a little nugget of something and you go, Oh, that is the feeling of that is so fun. Everything is because it's it's deeply technical and specific because there's like the idea of it, and then there's actually doing it. Like when you tell a kid, go draw a tree, they draw the two sides and a puffy top. And that's very different than drawing a real tree, which is every little detail, every little leaf. That is so jujitsu, but that's also so ballet, that's like what I came out of. So kind of like you're saying, like if you were doing pickup basketball, you're doing drinking, whatever your sport is, you get into this, and if you fall in love with the technical side, it's like a whole you can go a hundred miles in every direction on every move.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Absolutely, and it um yeah, once uh once I started, like I was just like, I'm just gonna go to a gym and see how it is. And you know, at first class I had that experience I was talking about where I was held down by somebody half my weight, and I just could not get up. And I'm just like, this is really cool. I want to like learn this. And I kind of fell in love with the puzzle. Like my job is I'm an electrical engineer, and that problem solving that I've always like used every day just really clicked with me of how do I like break this down into its smaller pieces? And you know, I'm in a place of panic, like someone's trying to kill me, but I could really, you know, take my time and work what is really holding me down, or what like do I have to engineer out of to be able to escape? No matter how many times I've seen a move, I I can go to like the most basic beginner class. I've been training for 10 years, and every year that I see that move, I look at it with just a completely different lens. And yeah, it's just a beautiful art. You express yourself in different ways. You call it an art. 100%. Okay. It's uh I mean it's a sport, but like each person they have what their personalities are, what they naturally gravitate towards, interesting, what their background is, and you're bringing this lifetime of experience to uh see what it looks like when you're actually competing.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

So you're saying like somebody's personality will dictate the way they roll or the way they compete.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Absolutely. Some people maybe are more aggressive, they want to go out and be first. Some people like to react to what the other person's doing.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

What's your strategy? What's your what's your how does your personality manifest out there?

SPEAKER_02 9:41

When I compete, I I like to be first. I like to get my hands on them first, I like to hit the first move. I see your videos, you look aggressive. I definitely try to be, and which is a big advantage deciding. It is a big advantage because they're playing your game. If you're able to get to the positions you're good at first, yeah, they're gonna be a step behind, and maybe they haven't trained in those as much. But if you're letting the other person, you know, dictate the pace of the match or the positions it's in, you know, it can start being a lot more difficult. You're playing from behind.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Well, that's interesting, because I had, I felt like a very different instinct. My instinct was very defensive. Where anytime, and I didn't get obviously too many, many belts in, but I loved the idea of this guy has so much energy. If I can just survive his initial energy, it gets a lot easier. Because I felt like also being a little more inexperienced, that was a good tip, I feel like, for inexperienced. Tell me if this sounds right. My buddy Kevin, who is who got me in, right? So we both dance for the ballet. Now he's like obviously jujitsu's all the time, it's all he talks about. He just wants to send me videos and then put me in an arm bar. But he was like, dude, if I was gonna give you one thing when you're starting this, do less than your body's gonna want to do. Because you're gonna all of a sudden, you never be fighting anybody, you don't know what this feels like, you're gonna want to fight. You're gonna want to go, I gotta do it, all this stuff. He's like, do as little as you possibly can. You you'd be surprised. Big old guys come in there, and if you can just like not be in trouble for a while, 30 seconds in, they're like gassed. 100%. I love that. Yeah, you because that you almost feel like wily coyote, like you're like, I'm you can't get you're just like slipping out of slipping out, yeah, doing whatever with them. And they're like, this guy's 230 pounds. I'm like, well, he is gassed. So there's two sides of the coin. Do you ever be doing that strategy where you go? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

You got, I mean, it's everything, of course, right? But um, you know, a big thing I uh people always say is uh I don't have enough cardio, I'm gassing out, and like there's only so much cardio you can get to where you can stay through the round. But really, what makes it effective is doing the right move or technique at the right time. Like if I'm just pushing against a brick wall, it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

You'll be you'll never always uh brick walls undefeated. Exactly. This is bringing me to something that I think will be fun. So I don't know how we do this on the pot. It'll be we'll have to be an editing nightmare later, but I think this will be fun for a clip too. I want you, you know, blind ranking where I'm gonna give you things and you've got to be like, hmm, yeah, that sounds fun. Five, hmm, two, all right. Okay, I'm gonna give you seven jujitsu attributes. All right, and you're not gonna know which one's coming next. And we got a blind rank, but I'll start throwing these at you. And so you blind rank how many total? Seven jujitsu attributes. So you've got one through seven. Number one is like, this is the best attribute. Number seven would be like, take it or leave, you don't even need that, right? All right, so number one I'll give you flexibility, your body's flexibility. Flexibility, I'll give that a five.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Really, just to not be injured. Okay. I feel like you shouldn't be relying too much on your flexibility. It certainly helps, but it you should be training in a way that um you know you can do it. There's always someone more flexible than you, and that doesn't last forever. Okay. You want to do that training to that for a long time. As an attribute, yeah, absolutely. Next one cardio. Cardio. Cardio definitely helps, but it's not everything. I'm gonna go with let's go with four.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Okay, yeah, okay, four.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Core strength. Core strength.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Ooh, that's good. You're on your back a lot, you got your knees. It's like I I felt like every time I did, I was burning.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Yeah, you need some good core strength. And it again, just the so you don't get injured, right? I think a good strong core, and in order to get good, you got to do it for a long time. So let's let's keep going up. Let's give that one a three, which maybe is a little higher, but we'll see what else comes.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

Okay, but you've got so we got one and two available still, and we've got six and seven available still. So we okay, we got both ends of spectrum.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Lower and higher, okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

All right, how much you weigh, how big you are.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

I know. I know that's tough.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Let's we know, we know where this goes.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Because it it does mean a lot if you're both the same skill level, but I think just in general, let's put it what we got, six or five.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

We have six and seven available to us. Let's go with six.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Oh my gosh, I did not see that. At the heart of it, it it shouldn't matter. But if you're both the same skill, it's gonna matter a lot.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

No, that's fair. For for the spirit of jujitsu, I think six, that's that's appropriate. Um grip strength.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Grip strength. Dang, I feel like two might be a little too high.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

I'm gonna go with seven. Oh, it shouldn't be last place, probably, but uh you know, you don't you shouldn't be holding your grip too long. Let go. There's a time when the grip isn't serving you and you have to let go.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

And that's one of the biggest things, like the beginner students I have, they hold on for too long, and then now they're holding on like this, and now they're getting their arm broke.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

Or you gotta know when to let go. Hey, great life lesson as well, guys. Know when to let go. Um, all right. Grit. Grit.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Well, let's give that number two.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Number two. Number two. I feel like it is, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

It'll keep you through injuries, get you the max amount of training, and sometimes you just need a little grit to be better than the others.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

Just to get over the edge. Um, all right. The last one left. So this is gonna be your number one. Uh, low-key gay feelings.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Yeah, that's probably number one. That was a bit of a setup, but that's the number one right there.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

This is gonna be funny. That's funny. That helped me a lot. And I was when I was training. I was like, I'm gonna get in here.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Exactly. Just cuddle with my friends.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

Let's cut them, baby.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

We're gonna put that in our pajamas, and then oh, well, that's perfect.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

All right, put that up.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Put that on the board. Put that on the board.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

That's crazy. Um, okay, so this this we kind of touched on this a little bit. Um, I got obsessed with the technical piece of it. What I called it as I was like, jujitsu is like ballet plus chess, right? So you have you have positions, you have movements, you have coordinations, you have muscle movements that are super specific, but you've also got this like 10,000-foot strategy where you you're like, hey, in this position, I could do this or I could do that, I could use this energy now or I could not. And it's all with the ends of winning something. So of course you're calling it it is an art, but it's also, and I think people do it for different reasons, where it's like, some people are in here because I want to stay healthy, some people are in here because I want to have self-defense, and some people are in here because I want to win competitions. Like if somebody's coming into the gym, how much do those three goals change what gym they should be at, how they're training, how much they should be training, how they're approaching it in there? Because those are very different goals.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Yeah, and I think uh the smallest percentage of people probably want to compete and be good. I mean, the biggest part of jujitsu is I mean, number one for me and so many people is just the community. I can't tell how many people I've met through this. Uh you know, whenever I go travel somewhere, I'll go drop in at a gym, and it's like immediately you try to kill them, and then you're best friends, right? And like I got friends in any city I want to go to just because of that. Yep. And yeah, just general health and um, you know, fitness is huge. And that's for like the majority of people. Uh, you know, you see some crazy life changes of people who are overweight or you know, struggling with their health, and they come in and you know, I got one student and he dropped like 60 pounds in like just six months of training, and looks like a completely different person, like bigger guy. You did that in 30 minutes before the roll? Before the copyright.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Yeah, yeah, 30 minutes before. He did 60,000 pounds in 30 minutes. Real weight loss, not just cutting, you know.

SPEAKER_03 18:08

Yeah, that's I mean, I do think that is uh what what people need in life. This is like my soapbox, is like to be healthy, you gotta have friends. So I love going into a space where it's like we're all doing this thing. You not it's like all the extra stuff like comes naturally. Like you, you're not dieting because you're like, oh my body looks bad. You're like, I want to feel good when I go do this role. I don't, I don't, I want my body to work for me so I can do this other thing. It's not like an aesthetic. You nobody in jujitsu is going like, look at my six pack. They're going, like, I just want to efficiently be able to do the thing I love to do.

unknown 18:45

Right?

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Yeah, I don't want to just have that feeling of drowning, right? Like, and it for me, for a lot of people, you're like, all right, I'm gonna drink a little less, maybe I'll quit smoking, or you know, these other things where now you, you know, it is maybe just another new addiction, but it's a good healthy one, right?

SPEAKER_03 19:02

100% you gotta have you gotta get your dopamine from something, right? Yeah, so like I could get dopamine from like smoking and drinking and hanging out in partying, or I could get it from like going and rolling, and it's weird. Like when you s I don't drink at all before I do comedy, right? Is it fun to drink? Sure, but is it fun to do comedy like kind of murky and weird? No, so like I will trade the the dopamine, the fun of that for the the dopamine fun of something that is not like as fun as that. I feel like that's a great lifestyle choice, you know?

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Yeah, being able to put together those things you were working on, or if you're competing, like having those big rushes of doing it in front of other people, I'm sure comedy, that's a high, like none other.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Is it like that in jujitsu? Do you feel like oh, the audience is here? Now it's like a whole nother step.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

I mean, a lot of the competitions you feel pretty anonymous. They're in big gymnasiums, but there's some events where it's like one match, everybody's there watching you, and um it's it's a great feeling when you're like hitting something and you hear like a pop of the crowd, it's it's so much fun. Like is nerves a big part of it then? You gotta manage those nerves, it's something that doesn't go away. I like it. Okay, so it is.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

You're like, I'll be you'll be nervous before getting up there.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Absolutely, but the more you do it, the more you're able to handle it. I are you nervous before shows a lot?

SPEAKER_03 20:25

I know Amber definitely gets it. Like it totally depends on the situation. Like, sometimes I feel like, oh, I I don't even remember what nervous feels like. And then sometimes it's like, oh, okay, coach myself through this. You can do this, you know how to do it. So I don't know if it feels similar in jujitsu. There's something like this, it's like a voodoo in the air where I somehow I create a story of like nothing can go wrong, or like everything's gonna go wrong. Yeah, I don't know what that is, but that's where I am in my process. Does it feel like does that feel at all familiar?

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Some people feel it before training. I like I don't really, I it's one of my favorite things to do. So I'm excited to go to the gym. But competitions, um, yeah, there's a lot of buildup to it. You're traveling to them, you gotta make weight, you gotta, you know, you're waiting around, you're watching your other teammates maybe the day before. Yeah. And I just try to keep it light, try to remind myself that this, you know, the second that match starts, like as soon as I get hands on them, it all goes away. That's like as soon as you grab that mic on stage, I'm sure it's like, okay, we're doing it.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

This is I'm comfortable doing this. You know, I don't train waiting. I'm not good at waiting to do something, I'm good at doing something. Yeah, no, that's the truth. It's it's crazy. Um, so this was something I thought was interesting. I was talking to my buddy about this. He's like, he's I said, Is there anything that you feel like is relevant for like a jiu-jitsu conversation that like doesn't get talked about that you feel like you is weighing on your mind? Because it's somebody who does it all the time. And he said, And I'm curious what your your thoughts are on this. For self-defense purposes, as jujitsu as self-defense, once you get past like blue belt, there really isn't a huge difference between there's a black belt in the wild, there's a blue belt in the wild. Your self-defense is obviously way improved, but there's really not a huge difference at that point because you're not going to be rolling with someone in a self-defense situation. You're not going to be like, how do I get out of this very specific technical spot in like a bar fight?

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Yeah. Does that feel accurate? Yeah, definitely. And like, um, like kind of how I start every beginner student, like, we're not here to fight like in self-defense. You know, there's no ref, things can go really wrong. People pull out a gun. It's about not being controlled and getting away. Like the biggest thing is if I can't touch you, you can't touch me. I'm safe and I can leave. So distance is number one. Like, and then the other thing uh that that I've heard uh that I like is you know, you keep training and you have the ability to defend yourself and to beat anybody up, but also you get the self-discipline not to just get into street fights. I know. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

It's like the problem is the solution.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:18

Where you know, you have a guy who's like, oh, I'm a big tough, I want to fight everybody, but you you train this for like two seconds, and you're like, oh, I'm not respecting myself, I'm not respecting the craft, I'm not respecting the people around me. If I do that, it's like you get in the discipline of it and you're like, oh, that's really the thing I needed, not getting in fights all the time.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Man, we uh we went out uh down to Broadway with like a bunch of people from my gym, and this one just big guy, I stepped on his shoe or something, and he started like talking shit to us. And we're in a group of maybe 10 people. This guy walks into the group by himself and just starts like, I don't give a shit. I'm gonna like, and he's pushing my buddy who's like the biggest one out of all of us, and he's like, You're gonna need to stop. All right, like he's very calm. He's like, Look, you don't want to do this, and he's like, I don't give a shit. He's like, Okay, just hugged him, put him down on the ground, and the guy's flailing, he couldn't do anything. And eventually, like, all the bouncers come and like get him. He gets up, and like, it's okay. And the batter's like, How did you do that?

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Just hugged him, put him down. He's like, Are we done?

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Like, well, isn't that? I feel like because it's getting more and more out there, people have to be insane to get into a public fight now.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

People know now, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

You could be walking into 10 jujitsu lords. That's reckless.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Ten of anybody by himself.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

That's crazy. That is crazy, but like if you've been like 10 golfers, it's very different.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

You gotta watch out for the two. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 24:48

He's lucky it was 10 people who know how to fight because they took he he got taken care of. Weirdly, he would have got maybe stomped by just a group of drunk people if it was sent to the hospital. 10 drunk idiots, he could have been bashed in. Like, you're changing my whole tune on this. Go fight people who know jujitsu, they'll take care of it. No, you'll be safe, it's the safest way to fight. They'll just be like and you pretzel down, they let you down, you'll be asleep. Getting great. No injuries, no. No injuries. Yeah, that is kind of crazy though. But yeah, you can't be just challenging people to fights now. Nah. Way too much of the population knows. And also there, there just is crazy. Down here in Tennessee, half the people know jujitsu, half the people are strapped. So it's it's gonna go one or two.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Jiu Jitsu goes out the window quick when the guy shows up.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

Yeah, yeah, there's there's no there's no arm bar you can do that's gonna defend you from that.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Hopefully you can run. Yeah. Cardio. I hear you run fast though.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Yeah, you we're a fan of the pod here. Yeah that well, just to touch on that. So you saw the the clip. So I'm saying I'm top 10% fastest people alive on earth. Do you believe that or would you not take that at face value?

SPEAKER_01 25:56

I mean, after hearing all the math behind it, I think you know, a lot of people older see the numbers, Rand, but it might be true. I I could believe it.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Because like if we flipped it, if I was just like, hey, do you think your top 10% of could win in a grappling situation in the world? I mean, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

You see how how like naturally you're like, of course.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

That's how as soon as you like train at all in something, you start to get context for it that like the lay person doesn't have, where you're like, you understand how hard it is to reach certain milestones. So it's like, yeah, like obviously you'd be in the top, you'd be in the top 1% of grapplers in in the world, probably a fraction of a percent, really. When you think about kids and old people and all that stuff, there's gonna be very few people who spend the time and attention on the thing you're doing that would even be relevant to go against, let alone like 10%. It's like, man, you can't find 10%.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Yeah, does 10% of the world even do it? Like exactly.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

Does 10% of the world even do it? So no, nobody's out here sprinting. When's the last time you sprint at home? How often are you sprinting? When's the last time you sprinted?

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Been a while.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

See? Yeah. Like you probably your people would pull a hamstring before they get to 40 yards if they're really going top speed. That's what you do. You immediately pull a hamstring or a quad if you're sprinting after not doing it for five years. So, top 10%. I mean, I'm telling you, like 1%, fraction of 1%. I'm telling you. It's a cosign. We have a cosign from Alex. He's uh he just won Nashville Open. He's a that's great. Oh, this is a good one. All right. This I thought was so fascinating. I use this in my life as a dad all the time. The idea of when you were rolling or grappling or doing it or whatever, matching the strength of the person you're working with. I stole that for dad wrestling match. It's so fun. So it was kind of this thing of like you might have a very new young lady who comes to the gym and she doesn't have like as much strength as you, and she doesn't have as much knowledge. So it's gonna be an awkward thing to just be like, oh, let me like smash you around. But if you really intentionally go, I'm gonna match the energy of the person I'm working with and just focus on technical stuff. I do that with my kids all the time. I'm like, I'll use the amount as a six-year-old girl, and we'll see who's a better wrestler. You can do that all day. I don't know if if you found that having new people in the gym, is there is there a way you approach it where you feel like now it's fun for everyone still?

SPEAKER_02 28:27

Yeah, and that's the biggest thing I try to instill in my students, right? Is we have all levels. So you want to, you know, you don't want to let them like win, right? But you want to slow it down enough so that they can at least see what's happening, they can learn, and you're take your attributes out. Like if you're clearly stronger, faster, heavier than somebody, you know, try your best to leave that out so you can work on the technique that when uh you know you can acquire like the actual skills to improve when you're going against someone that is bigger, faster, stronger than you, which there's always someone that is.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

So do you think there's always something you can work on and improve if someone's newer? Or do you feel like you get to a certain level where you're like, this is just me generously giving my body and my knowledge to this person? There's not a lot that I can gain by rolling with someone who's been doing this for five times.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

You should be able to find a way where you can have a successful role with you know someone even newer. Like, yeah, you know, maybe if I'm gearing up for a competition, I I want, you know, the tough rounds with like my best training partners. But for a majority of the time, if you're going against someone less skilled, you could keep doing the same move that you're working on over and over, or focus in on being sharp with your transition rather than like I gotta rush to here. Okay. Finding the exact window where something works good, like we were talking about pushing on the brick wall versus like okay, that door's unlocked, I can go through it. Yeah, you know, and being able to identify that, and then as you speed it up, you can make those decisions, you know, faster and faster.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

Okay, well, that's cool. Because I don't know, like if you were a chess player and this person just learned chess, I'm like, how much are you gonna get out of it? But you think BJJ, you're like, no, I can because it is physical, it's your physical body. You're always training your body to be doing something.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

You can find a way, making it uh a clean repetition of whatever you're doing to put that in your muscle memory and pay off. And like, yeah, the chess analogy, right? Like, you know, there's like the blitz chess where you play real fast and it's fun, you can do it, and maybe like it evens it up a little bit, but reality you're not making the best decisions, so you're getting reps of mistakes, reps of mistakes over and over again, and maybe long term you're worse. That's my autobiography, reps of mistakes. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

I have you doing mistakes on those things.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

You gotta make the mistakes, but you also gotta know that it's a mistake, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Yeah, yeah. Uh kind of in that vein of thinking, because I think it is getting very popularized. What do you think about the etiquette of having women in the role, having women in it coming from the background I came in, partnering is like a huge thing. So, you know, you're you're touching each other, I'm touching your hips, I'm picking you up, I'm putting you down. You you're hired in a company at that point. We're professionals, we're we're doing a thing, there's a certain prerequisite. What have you found is the best way to have etiquette so everybody feels comfortable being in a space that is now pretty co-ed. And I think it's great that there's like tons of women to get into jujitsu, great for self-defense, great for all the things we've talked about. It's great for. But what is the best etiquette of that?

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Yeah, I mean, you know, being respectful, I I think like the biggest sign of a good quality gym is when they have a lot of women and men on the mats, the women feel safe to train, they don't feel like they're gonna get injured. And that kind of comes back to what we were just talking about, where you know, but people need to be able to train safely, slow it down to where everyone's still getting something out of that training session. You don't you don't want to hurt your training partners, they're there to make you better, you're there to make them better. Yeah, well, I mean, one of the biggest things is you can see like, hey, there's no women at this gym, it's probably like maybe not the safest place or not a good sign.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

So you can clock that from afar of like, hey, the culture of this gym is superior because everybody it's a super diverse spectrum gender-wise. That means hey, they're they're doing something culturally good at the gym.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Absolutely. Okay, yeah, each gym and place has their own culture that um yeah, it's if it's community feeling and everyone, like safety being the priority, it's you know gonna be a good place for everybody. You know, it it's an art that's for everybody, something that anybody can do and get something out of.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

But that's a good note because if there's somebody listening, they're like, hey, I want to get into it, and they're a lady, they're like, Oh, well, let me make sure I find a gym where like that is the culture. Like, don't just go in and expect, like, oh, it's 75 dudes in here, there's not a woman inside, but not a lot of women do it. I feel like a lot of women do it. So find a gym that that culture is built in.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

Definitely.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

I mean, there's definitely less women that do that, but we're trying to same as comedy. Yeah, we need more. We need more, yeah. It's just better for everybody. Yeah, it's I mean, great for women. I have one student, she's like, you know, 16, 17, and she's training with grown men every day. And you know, I I feel sorry for anybody that tries to mess with that.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Yeah, yeah. Well, that is one of the things that is fun because when I I always felt that it was fun. I don't feel like every newcomer guy feels like it's that fun. But when there is like uh a lady that just takes you and just like, oh, this is all about technique, this is all about skill. Because you psychologically, I mean, that is tough, I feel like, to be like, I'm I'm six foot one, I'm a guy, I'm an athletic background, I'm top 10 fastest percent in the world, I'll be fine. And then you go in there, you're like, I don't know nothing.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Yeah, you gotta watch for that too. And some people can't handle that, and they start going crazy and maybe hurt somebody. Like you know, so as a coach, I definitely make sure, like, if you're brand new, I gotta like see how you handle losing before you do something crazy.

SPEAKER_03 34:25

Like that's a huge thing in the culture, too, where when people are brand new and they don't know how to throttle, and you have somebody who has to kind of maybe be like, hey, let me roll with him for a second and and get this guy on our same page. So he throttles in. Um, like uh my my brother-in-law was like an NCAA wrestler, and he just did like his first jujitsu class. Now I heard this story secondhand, so if he's listening to this, he's like, it's not how it happened, man. It's not how it happened. But he, I guess, was like they were just starting and getting going, and he's used to wrestling energy. So he comes in. I know you get wrestlers in there. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I mean, he was like a like a division one wrestler. He went to Michigan, he was like a real wrestler. That's a real black belt right there, yeah. And so he comes in and you know, he's like a small guy, but like stout, like spark plug guy, uh, former linebacker guy who's like 250 pounds, goes, he ends up like getting him on his back, kind of like working him over right right at the jump, but through through probably like a lot of energy and a lot of like surprise. Um, but then he said the next role, he he was sort of like very quickly submitted and kind of like, oh, uh, this is the initiation process of like, hey, you can't just come in here and be like, I did wrestling, so now I'm this, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 35:42

I mean, uh, a D1 wrestling background is you know, you're already extremely good at grappling.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

If we were blind ranked, you would put that number one in blind rankings.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

I would I would love to have that in my pocket. Yeah, absolutely. Because there's only a couple things where they differ. And once you kind of learn those, like in wrestling, you can't get pinned on your back. So once you start learning not to just go out on your stomach like this and get strangled, yeah, you're gonna be a problem because you have a lifetime of training and grappling and well, and understanding this is where I feel like the ballet thing was helpful for me.

SPEAKER_03 36:17

Understanding how my body affects your body. Intuitively, this part of your body, if I move it like this, it'll do that. It'll make you imbalanced in that way. I spent years trying to put somebody exactly on balance. I know what knocks you off of balance. I know what part of your body is gonna hurt if it's bent the wrong way. So these kind of intuitive things that get downloaded when you're doing any kind of uh two-person, really close together activity, it helps. It helps because you you you're not thinking about it um uh abstractly. It's internalized. You have this sense of like, I know how to make you do this a little bit, even though I don't have the exact technical thing yet. I'm like, I can kind of fake it just based on vibes enough that it doesn't feel like you're brand new. It doesn't feel like you're starting from scratch.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Yeah, I think any to be able to get you know world class or upper level in anything, uh like you gotta really dial in on those aspects of learning and body awareness. Like I was yeah, curious to hear some other like ways you felt the ballet helped. I mean, it's it sounds like a good background and something you have to drill and well, choreography, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Because when you think we were learning like sequences, and I feel like all the new people were having a hard time remembering this, then that, then this, then that, then this, right? Because you'd be like, you do this and you move your arm, and you'd be like, Okay, I got it. You told it to me twice, I got it forever now. Because I spent 20 years learning a sequence of things, so that's an advantage, right? Because you're not trying to remember the next thing you do, and then the difference between you got their, you got their leg like this, or she's got it like that. It takes a long time for people to if you haven't been doing that, the subtlety between this and this that's huge. That could take like a year to even understand. Yeah, so just coming in and being like, oh, that slight angle difference, you tell me that once, okay. And then I can also remember what it felt like in my body, where you can close your eyes right now and you go, imagine doing an arm bar. And you don't need to be doing it for your body to feel exactly that sensation. And you can snap into it, right? There's a hundred things where if you just told me, imagine doing this step, I close my eyes, I go, I'm doing it right now.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

And you're memorizing probably much longer series of, you know, what is it, a 20-minute thing, an hour thing that you gotta remember?

SPEAKER_03 38:43

But it but there's the jazz element to what you're doing. I'm doing classical music and ballet, you're doing jazz because it all changes the whole time. I'm doing the same sequence every time. The notes are the same. I practice until it's perfect, but I never did it perfect. But this, it's like, this is the notes. Oh, now it's a totally different song. Okay, now I have to do this. Now it's a totally every second is a totally different thing. So that is very different. That part where it's constantly changing, you can't prepare for where it's gonna go. That you have to be very like improvisational. Yeah, getting to like, okay, we're in this song now, it's time to this series, whole new measures, whole new key, whole new everything immediately in a in a flash of a second. And you feel like, oh, we're going this way, this is gonna work out. Oh, the whole thing, I'm totally screwed. Like back to square one. I gotta change my whole life plan. Yeah, yeah. Which is fun though.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Absolutely. Yeah, the yeah, the constant changing problem is it's just one of the most fun parts. And you always, like for me, when I just uh train with a new person or somebody that comes in with a different type of background. Oh, I'm a judo black belt. I'm like, I gotta see what this feels like. Or yeah, we've had you know, D1 wrestlers come in and they're like, Oh, I've never done jujitsu. And like you try to find a way to, you know, submit them and do like here's my jujitsu stuff. Like, I want to feel what the wrestling stuff feels like. So you want to like, yeah, like this guy is a fully professional world world-class athlete at that, and I want to test myself against that. So, whereas you can, you know, maybe if I'm trying to win, I could outthink and do something different that counters it. But uh in training, like winning isn't everything, right? It's I love it, self-improvement and you know, testing yourself.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

Well, it can be a good strategy to not win in that situation because you're gonna learn something. Hey, this isn't a competition, this is training. I know I could find a way to creatively win because there's a knowledge gap, but I'm wanting to test my body in the circumstance because there could be a time where there isn't that knowledge gap. So I'm gonna utilize the fact that this guy's a D1 wrestler, it his body feels like this, this is hard. Put myself in this situation intentionally because I could grow from that. That's cool, that's smart.

SPEAKER_02 40:59

Yeah, absolutely. And taking that like competitive element out of it, like it's it's one of the hardest things for you know, people that spend their whole life, I want to be good, I want to do this, I want to win. And like, hey, winning maybe isn't helping you right now. Yeah, just pay attention to what they're doing and then figure out how to solve that. And um that's discipline. Yeah, for me, that I go out and do competitions, it's a lot easier for me to separate that. But some people they don't want to compete. That's right. So going in the gym and beating up their buddies is the competition. That's the whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

That's the beginning and middle of the end. Yeah, it's oh yeah. Yes, that is it too. I feel like that is like in terms of I don't know, like personal growth, getting to the point where whatever your thing is that you're doing, not being outcome driven, being process driven. That's the perfect example of that. Where it's like the outcome would be to win, but the process has nothing to do with winning. The process is what am I getting out of this? And you know, getting what you're trying to get out of it. Like, that's hard. Ooh, in comedy, when it's it's hard to not be outcome driven. You're up there, you go, I need a laugh. I'm like, but I'm trying to work out this joke that I believe in that's not quite there yet. I could do a different joke right now. You know what I mean? I can pivot to something I know is gonna work, but I gotta work this out. I believe in this. I gotta, I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna lose for a while on this joke before I can make it win. But if if I'm only outcome driven, that joke never goes anywhere. And it's dead on arrival. You never do anything creative or new or interesting.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

I mean, that's absolutely true, right? And the extra element of that is I practice in private in the gym with you know my friends, and then I go compete in front of people. Yeah, you can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

You know, the mirror doesn't help, doing it to your wife doesn't help. Like, I was gonna ask.

SPEAKER_03 42:53

I was gonna ask how much, because when I started doing jujitsu, I was like, Sarah, come here real quick. How much do you have to go? I'm not gonna use my wife as a grappling dummy.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

I mean, I try to just give her an actual hug instead of watching wrestling with her, you know.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

But um, you know, sometimes we will, but I I go, I go enough. Like I'm there every day, sometimes twice a day. That is out of my system. I'm home just to rest. But there was one, I think I was a white belt, one of the first competitions I won. Oh, I was like, there's this move I want to try. Amber, let's rep this out. And then I made it to the finals. It was overtime, and I did the freaking move that I was drilling with Amber and won. And it was just like that was really cool to me. That's really like one of the you know, only two.

SPEAKER_03 43:41

One of the odds of it though, too. That that was the move you were practicing.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

It was just fresh in my head, and I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna try to do that. Like that one was clear in my head. And when you first started off, nothing's clear in your head. Like I was just out there just kind of seeing what happens as you just a wipe out a couple of years in or one year in.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Well, who did it better, Amber or the guy? Amber for sure. She's tough. Yeah, she's tough. She is tough. Um, you were married somewhat recently. Yeah, last September. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:12

So coming up on, but not even a year then. Not even a year. Like we did a real simple wedding. Just me and her went to the Redwoods in California, and uh just the two of us and a photographer, and uh you know, just like set our vows kind of in private by these beautiful massive trees, and wow, just crying in the woods, reading our vows to each other. That's perfect. So beautiful, and just had a week just hanging, just us, and so nice.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

Everything about that is the opposite of how I got married. That's so funny. You first of all, you were ready. I mean, that must be a great way to get married. To be ready? To be married? Holy smokes. 12 years of experience. I was 23. So, how for the folks at home, how old are you? I'm 33. 33. So you had a little more time to season, you know who you are, right?

SPEAKER_02 45:03

Yeah, the different, I mean, the different life stages you go to. I mean, yeah, I don't know, maybe I was 21, 22 when we met. I mean, how different are you between that and 25, that and 30, that and like you go through all these different, you know, loops and I we did blind rankings.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

Yeah. I want you to do the same exact structure, blind rank, husband moves.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Husband moves, okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:30

These are your husband moves. There'll be seven husband moves, and so we're gonna do the list the same way. I'm gonna give you a husband move. We're looking number one will be like, this is the best move a husband makes. And number seven is like, whatever, take it and leave it. All right, all right, all right, all right. Husband moves one spot first. Now you know I have to know right. Um, but but I know that you would knew that. I knew the order we'd go in. So I'd go, hey, we'll be wise to it, so it will be different, or or not, or maybe you just made me think of that right now, and I'm lying. Who knows what's happening? Um blind ranking husband moves, top seven. First one out the shoot. Um a husband that goes back to re-watch a show that she fell asleep during.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

Um, for me, it's a seven because I'm the one that falls asleep every time.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Every time. That's a wife move in your house. Yes. Oh, dang.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Okay, okay. I'm always falling asleep during the show. Um, all right. Next out the shoot, listening. Number one. Number one, I think so. You gotta get confident number one for listening.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

It's like, and it's grouped in, just communicating, really listening to what she says and trying to take that in, and the other way around, too. Like you both have to have that.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Yeah, how about this? Next move. When you order better than your wife, but then without making her feel bad, switch entrees. Oh, that's a good, that's a good that's a good four, I'd say.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

That's a good four. That's a good move right there.

SPEAKER_03 47:09

I feel like the qualifier of not making a big deal where you're like, oh, I kind of wanted that anyway. I feel like that is what makes it. Because if you're like, fine, you know, then it's not the same. That does not land the same. It's like, oh no, no, that looks good. I'm really glad you got the meatloaf. That's perfect. You gotta be smooth. All right, next one out the shoot. Not solving her problems.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

Yeah, that's a it's a good one, is just listening instead of coming up with a solution.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

I know this is a cousin of listening. This is me, this is my therapy tonight, right here. This is just me saying the stuff that I need to not be doing. Oh, yeah, where's that gonna rank?

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Let's give it a three. That's the one that I'm working on truly. Like I so much of I feel like men in general are very like problem solution. Rather than she doesn't need a solution, she's just needs to be heard.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

Yes, next out the shoot, finding her phone.

SPEAKER_02 48:05

Damn, that's gonna go towards the end as well because it's finding my phone. That's a I guess six, right? We did seven.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

This is gonna say more about me than anything else. The next one about the shoot, not peeing in the backyard. Oh, is this anyone else's relationship is this a problem? Right in. I don't know. I get grilled for this. My wife hates it. I feel like we're both fans of this thing. We don't even have a toilet in our house anymore.

SPEAKER_04 48:44

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 48:44

Gotta have a little bit head and back in there. That's all you need.

SPEAKER_04 48:48

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 48:49

Oh, I guess that's five? That's one summon on the bottom.

unknown 48:54

We've got two and five.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

Five. Put it at five. All right. What's left? What's open?

unknown 48:59

Two.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Two. All right, number two, speed. Speed. Top 10%. You but you interpret it however you want to interpret it.

unknown 49:08

Speed.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

Well, I mean, I guess it's a two, but I don't know how to interpret it. Like just being able to slow down and enjoy yourself. Okay. Yeah, and take in the moments.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

Figuratively, I do feel like this is super important. Where I don't know, everyone has a different motor. My motor is fast, my wife's motor is slow. So it feels like such an act of love to her if I get my system to this level of slow. And it takes so much intention for me to do her speed. Yeah. To just be like, okay. That even just doing that right now, I can feel it. My whole body's like, what the hell are we doing over here? Yeah. But I feel like speed.

SPEAKER_02 49:55

Yeah, meeting your partner where they're at is huge. I mean, whether you know, whether you're processing too fast or too slow, or just yeah, being able to see where they're at and connect with it and you know, like get in hear them and listen to them like that.

SPEAKER_03 50:12

Into their speed of double dutch. You know what I mean? Finding how can I get in?

SPEAKER_02 50:17

We can make it work.

SPEAKER_03 50:20

That's it, man. The bonus round. Here we are. All right. I tipped some of these ahead of time. So we'll see what you came up with on the break. Is there a movie that has changed your life?

SPEAKER_02 50:32

I was thinking about it, and it's it's hard to say changed the life, but the movie that first came to mind is Almost Heroes with uh it's Chris Farley and Martin Perry. Yes, yes. It's just one of uh me and Amber's favorite movies to watch together. We quote it all the time, and it just brings us so much joy. Just nobody really knows about it, and we're just always referencing it, and it's just yeah, just brought just this joy that we should try to share it with other people, and it's just such a silly movie. And I love that masterpiece. I think it was the last one before Chris Farley died, so that's why it didn't become like that big.

SPEAKER_03 51:13

A beautiful memory, and I feel like people take umbrage with the changed your life part of it, you know, even when I'm like um you know, trying to give it to people ahead of time, they're like, changed my life. What do you mean changed my life? Quoting a movie constantly that that improves your life, that enhances your life. That that helps you build relationships with people, or you go out in the world and you realize, oh, we have the same movie. We have the same move. Are you kidding me right now?

SPEAKER_02 51:39

That just fast tracks a friendship sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

That's connecting people, man. That changed your life. We're connecting over a thing in a in a way. Um, I mean, I think the big one in culture is obviously like the office. Are you the office people?

SPEAKER_02 51:53

Yeah, I've watched many times.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

Yeah, so I'm I have a big like philosophy that there's a couple shows that are like this. I I know there's a Seinfeld faction that is like this. I obviously like am in the office faction of this, where you have the initiated and the uninitiated, and once you're know someone's in the initiated, you shorthand a lot of things in life by just being like I always do this one. I'll be like, lead me when I'm in the mood to be led. The Ryan Howard quote from the office. When you have a shorthand, when you have an office shorthand, do you have a show that you have a shorthand with?

SPEAKER_02 52:29

I mean, it's maybe not to that level, but yeah, the the office Seinfeld for sure, curb your enthusiasm with the my brothers, like it's a big one, like yes, the the ethos of curb.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

I feel like there's people when you are like a curb person that it is a type of person, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

You like to be bothered by stuff, little things that you just focus on and just like pick apart, and just you know, you're super happy, but you're complaining about all this. It just relates to me for sure.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

There's something about externalizing the mundane nuisance of life that like the Seinfeld, the Larry David style of comedy, I feel like is so cathartic. Where you're like, yes, getting from point A to point B in life is hard. And maybe if we let's make it funny though. Let's make it funny.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

There's so much humor in it.

SPEAKER_03 53:26

Yeah, like a little thing, like make a little thing fun instead of just being like, oh, I wonder if anybody else has ever thought about that. I'll keep it to myself and just keep it rolling. It's like, no, no, no, let's make jokes.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

Yeah, man. I'm blessed to you know be married to one of the funniest people there is, right? Totally. And you know, every day there's something we're cracking up about it. Like we can just laugh the whole day and over nothing. Like little things that happen or stupid things we say, a whole language we've made up, it feels like. Oh yeah, just so it's so important.

SPEAKER_03 54:00

Laughing is like the from the glue, the real glue, I feel like, in my marriage. As soon as you get to the point in whatever it is where somebody has made somebody else laugh, it's like we're gonna get through whatever this situation is.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Yeah, like you know, you get serious at times, or when you have maybe a little dispute or serious conversation, a lot of emotions come up, but like once we're just back just cracking up together, it's like everything just take the heaviness out of the air.

SPEAKER_03 54:34

And if you're like me, sometimes you make a joke at the wrong moment.

SPEAKER_00 54:37

And now we're off the rails the other end. I could go too far, Peach. What are you doing, Peach? Stop be serious, put a cork in it.

SPEAKER_03 54:45

And sometimes you come in where you're like, you know what will make this fight end? A little joke. It's like, no, no, no, we're not there yet. Stop, Peach, stop.

SPEAKER_02 54:53

Um, for me, if I could get an eye roll out of her, sometimes it's better than a laugh.

SPEAKER_03 54:58

There you go. That's your jujitsu. That's the conversational jujitsu. And this will get an eye roll. Here we go. Oh, yeah, points. That's great. Um, all right. Next up on the bonus round. Do you, Alex, believe in ghosts? Do I believe in ghosts?

SPEAKER_02 55:17

I think a little bit. Like, I'm not the like that biggest into the supernatural, but there's just just so much we don't know or have you had any encounter?

SPEAKER_03 55:26

Like it could be any kind of encounter, UFO, mysticism, I saw Bigfoot, we're best friends. Any kind of off the beat encounter where you go, man, it's hard to explain this to people, but this was wacky.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

Hmm. I mean, some of the like the psychics and uh I don't know if it's that's what they all go by, but like they just seem to know so well what's going on in the world. Have you seen a psychic? Um, Amber has and has relayed messages back to me of it, and I'm like, this is crazy, and it all comes out true, or just like now was it pretty vague or was it pretty specific?

SPEAKER_03 56:06

Because it what blows my mind is when they're specific, because I do think there's an art to being kind of vaguely accurate, and then they can kind of like figure you out, but when they're like your dad's name was Jim, and he was in the military from 1974 to 1978, you're like, How do you know this?

SPEAKER_02 56:23

I mean, it was like the guy was talking to my grandmother who had passed maybe a year ago through Amber, and she was coming in to say that like uh you know, she always all she cared about, she died at like 104, and all she cared about was is everybody happy? Is everybody okay? And like there was five shades of that, but then like letting us, we were like looking for a house, letting us know that's all gonna work out, amazing. And then like the little tidbit of um, I just got these slippers, I was really excited about, and the psychic told Amber to say that my grandma liked new slippers, and like that little she pulled that out of thin air.

SPEAKER_03 57:07

She pulled slippers?

SPEAKER_02 57:09

I don't know where it came from, but apparently that's a thing they like to do to let you know they're watching is like the little things like that that like I'm paying attention, and that like I'm pretty skeptical of a lot of stuff, but just no slippers is specific.

SPEAKER_03 57:27

That's what I mean by specific. Like if they're pulling I've to also I've never had a pair of slippers I was excited about, so I don't know what that story is.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

Some nice, some nice wool ones, real wool? I'm always cold, so that's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

Nice the wool slippers. All right, last question, I'll let you get out of here, man. Um, all right. Uh, is there a quality that you would just if you could just download it to, and it could be to your kid, to your grandkid, to your niece, to your nephew, to an important young soul in your life where you go, ah, I want to just give you this quality, and you get to only pick one, what would it be? I think just like lightness, right?

SPEAKER_02 58:10

Of just not taking things too seriously and being able to be patient and it's gonna work itself out, and we're gonna get there and and figure out whatever this problem is, it'll solve itself or you'll come up with it, and just so many people carry such a weight on us, and it you know, it's hard, it's hard to see. So just being able to just have like a lightness to your life, and it's one of the things I would love to relay on other people, my future generations, or yeah, man.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

I love that, and I can feel that in our conversation. I you do have uh of a lightness that you bring in, and I think that is um I'm I'm that's landing on me very important. I take things serious, and I do think it's kind of like that speed we were talking about, where people have a natural speed. I think maybe sometimes you know you can have a heavier, natural, you know, momentum. And so being able to be have moments of being unencumbered and being light and finding humor, finding, you know, uh the the levity, that's huge. I love that. What a great way to get out.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

Um, all right, and before we get out of here, Alex, where can we find you?

SPEAKER_02 59:26

Yeah, you can find me at Henzo Gracie Nashville. I teach classes Tuesdays and Thursdays as well as Sundays. There's a gym down in Brentwood, Tennessee. And uh Sundays is in our Bellmead location. I teach private lessons. If you want to get a little extra coaching or you're you know nervous to try it out in a big room, reach out to me on Instagram, Alex BossJoss. Give that a follow. Uh, post a lot of good funny stuff. And also follow my wife, Amber Achie Comedy. Big theater tour coming up. Go get your tickets. She's one of the best in the world, so check her out.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

100%. Dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:04

Thanks. That's a make me sell. This was awesome. Yeah, this is a really good time.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:08

Awesome. All right, see you guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:10

Boom!