A Little Off the Top w/ Ryan McComb

Comedian Ryan McComb joins the pod to discuss The Lewis and Clark Expedition, artistic integrity, and the subtle art of being bald...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I can do that. Do you remind people about this on your fake podcast? No, we don't have to do it because fake podcasts, we just have handheld mics and no audience. So no one hears it either way.

SPEAKER_04 0:08

Okay. What a concept.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

It's a ghost, a ghost kitchen podcast.

SPEAKER_04 0:13

Just clip firming.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

The best element of most podcasts for the people making them are the clips. Right? So that's the most valuable piece. So why spend the time to go through putting it out everywhere where there's going to be a hundred people that listen to it at best? The lowest amount of effort. You do it once a month. You clip it up for that whole month. You put out a bunch of clips during the month. You had an ethical problem with it.

SPEAKER_04 0:35

I mean, it's you're you're trying to get all the reward without the work. Yeah. It's the steroid. It's the steroid. You're the Barry Bonds of podcasts. Here's another one. In a bad way.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

In a bad way. I was okay with Barry Bonds taking steroids. Okay. Is that weird?

SPEAKER_04 0:50

Um, I need to know more. My gut instinct says that you're wrong, but go ahead. How old are you? Uh 34. Okay. Hey, same. Really? That is tough. That is tough. Is that worth it? Yeah, man. You think? Yeah, man. You got kids and a full head of hair. That's about it. But that's tough.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Well, let's introduce you because I think I'll probably keep this in. But you guys, we're doing the fifth episode of Almost Funny with Judson Veach. Uh, I'm here with a good friend. He hosts the drink and debate show at the lab at Zanny's, which is one of the flagship shows, according to Ryan. He also has a dry bar special, shambles. And the joke I had written down is the reason I take pills for my hair. All right. Ryan McComb, everybody. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

So welcome in. Thanks for coming. Thank you, man. I'm a huge fan of the pod, both of your pods, and I just excited to be excited to be a part of one of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

We're talking about the fake. I think I think in the modern era of stuff going on the internet, there is no limit to how low you can go ethically for grabbing attention in terms of not actually doing anything wrong, but just the technical moves. For example, a kid, but Siri showed me this video this morning, and I was like, I wish I'd thought of this. His whole thing is he goes, John Mullaney stole my joke. That's a very funny thing. You've seen this. I've seen this. It's so clever. So explain the whole thing. The whole thing is he goes, John Mullaney stole my joke, or some famous comedian stole my joke. He plays John Mullaney doing a joke, then he plays himself doing a completely different joke of his own. You get to the end, you go, Oh, he didn't, but now I've listened to this guy's act. And it was a pretty fun joke. And then you're like, I would have never listened to this joke otherwise. He's using the algorithm to his advantage. That's smart.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

Lucas McQuery, is that who it is?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

That sounds close. I'm not gonna look it up. It's not Luke Combs.

SPEAKER_04 2:45

It's Luke Combs.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

I'm looking it up. All right, you look it up. But uh like it's there's so much is changing, it's so hard to break through and do anything. You know, take any angle you can get.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

See, that to me is clever, whereas doing a fake podcast just for the clips is not I mean, I suppose it is clever in a way, but it's just it's just I'm an ethical guy, man.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Well, I want to go, I want to give you all the space to let that breathe. Convince me that there's a uh something unethical about it not existing except for clips.

SPEAKER_04 3:20

Um let me think here. Because the point of the podcast is to do a podcast, it's not to just get clips, I think. I don't know. Maybe I'm mad that I didn't think of it. Have you ever had anyone reach out besides me? Have you ever had anyone reach out like looking for the full podcast?

SPEAKER_00 3:34

I keep waiting. That's what I said. I said if there's clamor, uh-huh that that's the word I used. If there's clamor, yeah, we will build it. We're just trying to make it like you recognize us, and then all of a sudden it would exist, and you'd be like, oh yeah, that thing that I already thought existed now actually exists.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

Um, okay, so here's I've thought of a way to crystallize my thought. I like it as a comparison. Your clips are to actually producing a podcast, as Ozempic is to weight loss.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Ooh. So it's groundbreaking and gonna make a lot of money.

SPEAKER_04 4:12

And it makes people sick. And no, it's just it's just a shortcut in a way that I don't respect.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Yeah, I I love how there's kind of the two um methodologies represented in what we do. Because we actually do kind of, I would say similar-ish comedy. Like, I remember I told you one time there's the litmus test comic where when you're on a show, if somebody does good or doesn't do good, how the audience responds to them, you go like, that's how I'm gonna base it off of. And someone was like, Who is that comic for you? I was like, Ryan is that comic for me. Where like if I see him go and get him, I'm like, I've got as good a shot as I'm gonna have. If I see him go and it's a battle, I'm like, I'm probably gonna have a battle. So, but but given that, that similarity, I do think, and I find this with a lot of people, there's a purist route that I have just not taken to whatever it is to advance in this. I'm like, if I have to sit in my car and do the the quote yap video and do my act in this super like for this platform way, I have no bone in my body that's like, oh, I'm undermining the craft. I'm like, I will do whatever it takes.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

That's okay. Yeah, and it's probably there, it probably is some sort of part of me that's it's just jealousy, probably that you're willing to. I was having a discussion behind your back about you.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Good.

SPEAKER_04 5:36

And we were talking talking about you and everybody else, brother. We were talking about your videos and like in a lighthearted talking trash manner. We're talking about your videos, and we were trying to figure it out. I mean, you were sitting six feet away, so you can't.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

That makes sense, yeah. Social distancing.

SPEAKER_04 5:50

We were talking, did people does the podcast know you're a realtor?

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Um, not really, but you can yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:55

Buy a house. Um, but I we we were talking about it, and I it clicked in my head. I go, oh, Judson has no shame in the way that a realtor does. Right. In a good way. Right. In a good way. I don't I have like if I I've I have videos on my phone that I've filmed that I'm like, I why would I ever put that up? I mean, yeah, I'm gonna embarrass myself out here. You have none of that.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Well, this was our breakfast conversation this morning. I'm trying to be more honest with myself about where I do have shame so I can accept it and then be like honest with myself and have better, a better chance of having like a stable mood from that. So I'm not just like locking everything down. But in terms of like public embarrassment type of shame, I of course I'll feel that. Like I was telling you yesterday, like if this, if the set, if I go into a place where I don't know if I was telling you or Rob, but if I go into a place where like this is the deep water and I've said something that's an edgy topic and I feel them turn, like that shame is so powerful. I don't do certain subjects on stage because I'm like, I can't handle that. But in terms of like, hey, I'm promoting myself, I don't even think of it as myself. I think of it as like, this is responsible because what I'm wanting to do is I'm wanting to be an astronaut. And I'm telling my wife and my kids, hey, I'm building a rocket ship in our backyard and I'm gonna try to go to the moon. And I can't be like, yeah, and there's some things that because of my particular taste, I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna use jet fuel. I'm gonna make my own like curated blend. It's like, no, use the jet fuel, use the most potent ingredients. If you're trying to go to the moon and you're spending all your day in the backyard building this thing, like do it quick.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

I like that and I respect it, man. I like it and I respect it. And you're like, you have the talent to be able to back up. That maybe that's part of it too, is that I I see other people take those sit or try and take those similar shortcuts that don't have the juice. Because like the the end of the day, like it's we're all taking shortcuts, or people are taking shortcuts to be a headlining comedian.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

And a lot of those people doing those things don't have that. Like if their rocket ship takes off and they're selling out, they're selling tickets across the country, they don't have the juice to be able to the wings fall off and they crash. Yes. Whereas you could headline tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Uh yeah, in the right room in the right circumstance. And that's another that's kind of a real estate-related thing where it's like you have to put yourself out there before you're a fully cooked chicken, and you're like, hey, I'll finish cooking on the way. Uh, and I feel comfortable doing that. And I did that a lot. And you you get beat up doing that, but you're gonna get beat up. Like, you're you gotta just take your licks at some point. But I think there is something that the the envy I have, the jealousy I have is that I started when I was 31. And I look at all you guys that started in your 20s and have the stage reps and are so polished and have such a clear sense of your voice and are so consistent. And I go, I don't have that. And that's worth more than having an idea of a video. That's worth more. Yeah, yeah, it depends. Because that's that's like that's your bulletproof jacket you're wearing on stage with you.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

Well, it's fun. You're in an exciting part. I I forget that. I forget that you've been doing comedy so real such a little amount of time. Um, it's fun to think, like when I was three years in, the jokes I was doing and how things have evolved since then. So, what are you gonna be joking about seven years from now? I know you're gonna be doing all politics. What's the topic that you've brought up on stage that you regret and you would won't do anymore?

SPEAKER_00 9:24

It's usually if it's like the some racial tension or some like marginalized group tension. Because I already have like successful white guy energy. Um say that again. Well, and I was gonna ask you about this. Go ahead. Because I was making fun of you not having hair.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

I feel like it's an advantage for comedy.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

Being a bald man is an advantage in comedy?

SPEAKER_00 9:46

I believe that in my bones.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

Go ahead. Are you kidding? You got must have five minutes on this. I don't have any bald material. I'm I'm like the I've been doing a bald thing recently, in the last like two weeks, a new bit. But that's the first like specific like bald material I've ever had. Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Yeah. But isn't there like a subliminal effect where you I just feel like when it's it's the same phenomenon as like when there's like a really big guy. It's like even if he's not doing jokes about being really big, it's like aw shucks, you know. Like there's he doesn't think he's better than me. Or or they don't feel like they are lower than you. They have like one thing over on you. Interesting.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

I never thought about like that. I've always my hair, people make fun of me a lot, and like you know, genuinely like are like, you know, light ribbing and all that stuff. I'm not getting bullied out here or anything like that. People make fun. I I don't think of it that often. It's just another thing, you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

But that's good. It would be weird if you were thinking about it all the time. I think a lot of people, old people are though. I think about my hair probably way more than you think about your hair.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

Show me what you're working with.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Are you kidding me? Right here, this is a nightmare. It's not as soon as I make enough money, that sucker is getting filled in.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

How are we doing up here?

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Um, I the the pills are working. Are you really taking pills? Oh, of course, brother. It's the same philosophy as the Instagram. Yeah, yeah. If there's something that will fix this, if there's a way to do it, I will say yes.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

It probably does help me get away with a little bit more stuff. I keep like, oh, it's a five foot eight twink.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

I wonder about it. I've tried to do jokes about being tall. I had I was trying to do a joke that was kind of in this vein where I go, like, I feel like I'm a pretty chill guy, but I'm 6'1. Like, if I was five seven, my personality I'd be a nightmare.

unknown 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

I'm trying to lead with like, look, you guys don't know it, but like because a lot of pieces fit together for me, I'm cool, but like I'm one thing. Like, if this hairline goes any further back, it's over for everyone. I'm gonna be a huge problem. I'm gonna be honest.

SPEAKER_04 11:40

Like the problem, the thing is that you are a huge problem. People just don't realize it because you're a handsome guy with the full head of hair.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

That's what I mean. I'm like, it's it's like it's like makeup on women. It's like I'm wearing like the male version of makeup a lot.

SPEAKER_04 11:52

Yeah, you have a you have great hair, man.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I really needed to hear that.

SPEAKER_04 11:57

Pull the pull the thing back. I mean, like, you know, no, don't hide it with your hands.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Show me there's decoration on this side when I use this, so it's a lot of strategy going on. Yeah, you're I'm trying to create a lot of illusion.

SPEAKER_04 12:09

I tell you what, if I had that head of hair, I would be a it would be an issue. It would be an issue if I had the confidence it came with like a mediocre head of hair like that.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Yeah, wow, you'd be slaying ladies. Would you use it to get women? Would you use it for ill like that?

SPEAKER_04 12:24

Well, but the thing is, though, if they hadn't met me and they didn't know that I used to be bald, they'd be like, Why are you talking about your hair so much? You have regular head of hair. That's crazy. But I've already decided I've never, I don't I don't care how um hair transplants come along, I don't care how cheap it gets to go to Turkey. I'm never doing it.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

This is the it's the same theme again. Yeah, you're such a purist, and I respect that so much. It's so not me, but I love it.

SPEAKER_03 12:49

I also respect that a lot.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

I've actually had a hair transplant. Bomb drop. What real? Yeah, hating.

SPEAKER_04 12:55

I didn't know you could look like this. All right, take it back.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

I well, so I the reason I did it is because I caught it so early. I started losing my hair in college, and I was like, I had the foresight to be like, now is the time I've got to make this call. I either try to save it or I go and I my parents helped me out and I just I did it.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

So can you meander around and get into one of the screens?

SPEAKER_03 13:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:18

There's no camera on you?

SPEAKER_00 13:19

No, he doesn't have a camera.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

Is this hair transplant hair?

SPEAKER_00 13:22

This is is this changing your mind?

SPEAKER_03 13:24

I used to be very ashamed about it, but I didn't know it. This is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

Yeah, I gotta crash down a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Yeah, that's incredible, man. I mean, you like Wow, it worked!

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Yeah, it's it's solid. I'm on I'm on the medicine too.

SPEAKER_04 13:41

So how long ago is this?

unknown 13:43

Two years.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Way to go.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

So, but I but my whole point of saying that is I respect I respect the people that made the the leap. Like even though I'm not I'm not as ashamed of it as I used to be, there's always a part of me that's like Wait, which one is the leap?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

The leap to not? The leap to shave. Oh, the leap to just embrace it.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me so I A, I will say that like I'm lucky enough that I have like a well-shaped head. Amazing. I have some things, you know, I have a nice smile. I have things going on. If I was just a hideous beast and needed to, you know, maybe that way, but my whole thing is, and I'm curious to ask you, my my the principle that I'm working with here of like if I got self-conscious enough about my hair to go get a hair transplant, I get that done, then what's next? Can you get a can you can you grow a beard? Not even close. Okay. Or just get a beard transplant.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah. Speaking of my wife. Um all right. Uh no, but speaking of uh our topic today, you've brought uh a topic that I'm excited because I have the littlest amount of base knowledge of it, but I want to expand it.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

We've done nothing to set it up. We've this is a totally, this feels like a totally random shift. Speaking of adventures. Speaking of adventures, Ryan, what's the topics you brought for us today?

SPEAKER_04 14:58

I'm excited to uh you told me to pick a topic that I, a niche topic uh uh that I know a decent amount about, and I'm excited to talk about. So I would love to talk uh to you about the Lewis and Clark expedition.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Let's round up the carriages. There was no carriages.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

Uh no, there were not. Because there was no, anyways, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Well, the the thing that I know, and you tell me if this is right or wrong. Okay. They were eating like, I don't know, like 15 deer a week or something. Like they were just living off a deer like you've never heard. Like it was only meat, like kind of what everyone wants to do, like the carnivore diet thing, is they're just going out further and further into the wilderness. They're like, I guess it's just gonna be deer again.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they when you get that far out there, you're taking what you can get. And if that's another deer or bison, once they got closer, farther west, and all that stuff. But yeah, it was a pretty heavy meat diet. Yeah, they brought along their supplies, but stuff runs out and nothing went how it was supposed to. So, yeah, a lot of deer, a lot of meat. Um, when they got to the when they got, so they they went all the way to the Pacific Ocean, ran out of food, is kind of getting ran out of food, no game to be hunted. It was a tough winter. So, what they did to survive the winter is they traded with the local Native American tribe for their dogs. And then that's what they had for dinner. Oh, puppy chow. Sorry. No, that's good. Oh man. I've been trying to turn it into a joke because it's just so funny to me. Um, the fight, but but people don't like it at all. People are so sensitive about dog stuff. So they what I was trying to make a joke out of it because to me, the concept is so funny that could because they were obviously they spent the entire trip, the Lewis and Clark expedition, being so scared of the Native Americans and being so anti-Native American and like these savages, they're disgusting. They, you know, we're trying to convert them and we're trying to like set the stage.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Like, are we trying to convert them?

SPEAKER_04 17:03

A little bit, a little bit. Christianity? Um, not not as much. I I guess assimilates a better word than oh, they culturally convert them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're they're trying to they're trying to show their domination. And I mean, there was some of it of like, hey, we're just passing through, but there is some, you know, you're trading with them, and and they're the first guys to come across, the first white men to come across, but they're like, hey, it's coming. Y'all better get ready. But so they're they're they have this view of it's literally savages, right? Yeah. And they're they show up and they get to the Pacific coast and they're like, I don't know what we're gonna do about those savages over there. And then they're eating dogs immediately. Yeah, yeah. They're like, hey, pass the puppy over here. I don't know. This is what we're doing, what we have to, but those guys over there, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

I mean, yes.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Anyway, that's that's the funny part to me is the hypocrisy.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Yeah, the the relative nature of you know, they're like, we are superior, we're also the ones eating dog.

SPEAKER_04 17:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just it was I tell you what, pretty decent point, not worth bringing up on stage, but it's a good point. But I'm gonna keep trying. Okay, because there's other funny stuff about it too, man.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

I like your Lewis and Clark uh bit where you're talking about like you wish you'd been around to be on the expedition. Yeah. I really love that bit. Thank you, man.

SPEAKER_04 18:16

It that's another one that doesn't I that would really that bit goes well if I'm headlining a show and people are there to see me, which happens not very often at all. But like when I'm after this podcast, more yeah. When I'm back in my hometown doing shows, I mean that joke goes pretty well. But yeah, the idea I I need to rework and I think there is something there, but basically, just when I read a biography, I just can't help but while I'm reading, just imagine me being friends with whoever I'm reading about. Like I just put myself into that about it. That is relatable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

That is a thing where you go, like, we would have been buds.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

And then I tried to pitch you that line like if I'd been around, it would have been the Lewis and Clark and Macomb expedition.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have you done have you tried that? No, dude. I gave up on that joke. That's a joke that pops up. I have my big cork board with all my premises on it, and that's one that's on there that when I'm going to open mic and I don't have something I'm passionate about. I'm like, let's try this, let's try this again. Let's try it exactly like I tried it last time when it didn't work. And well, it didn't work again, so it stays there on the bottom. What do you know about the Lucent Clark expedition?

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Well, mostly I know the thing about the deers.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

Um insane thing to know about it.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Also, it was like hella people. It wasn't two guys.

SPEAKER_04 19:22

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

I did not realize that until my great aunt was reading the book about it, and she was what I love is when my aunt reads a book, she'll give me the breakdown in a pretty thorough way. And I'm like, I just read that book.

SPEAKER_04 19:37

That counts.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

You gotta have an aunt that gives you the breakdown.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

Put it on Goodreads. You should start a good reads. This is that's just reviewing books that your aunt told you read.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Yes, like a like a one-level remove. Yes, my aunt reads.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Yeah, what uh what was the book? Uh please tell me it's the same book I'm thinking about.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

It was it was like one of the big ones. It was like Undaunted Courage. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. But it talked about it talked about Lewis and Clark, their expedition.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

So Undaunted Courage, that's the one that I read that really got me into it recently. And that one's specifically about Meriwether Lewis. Like he's the main character. And it obviously it's a lot about the expedition as a whole, but yeah, man, I got down a rabbit hole for a little while there.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

What were like the super interesting parts that that hooked you, keeped you going?

SPEAKER_04 20:24

So, first of all, I mean, these guys are gone for three years. Three the expedition took three years. I forget how long it was supposed to take, but it was at least a year longer than it was supposed to take. It sounds like that was longer than it was supposed to. Just imagine like you guys do road trips. Yeah. And by the end of a couple day road trip, you're wiped.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Wait, so is the expedition there and back? Correct. So that's what takes three years. Do you know how long it took them to get out?

SPEAKER_04 20:50

I was gonna ask that. Just to get all the way to the ocean? I do not. I would imagine uh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Wait, is it like every trip where like it actually feels way longer on the way back? Like, imagine that. They're like, we're gonna get to the Pacific Ocean. That's like, all right, in a year and a half back.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

Yeah, it's like you ever just go for a drive just to drive. Yeah. And you know that every mile you go, you're gonna have to drive back. It's that, but it's steps and it's boats, and it's I don't remember, but it's also like they use a lot of rivers to get there. And so I don't know, like the river flow would affect how quickly you were able to. Yeah, that's true too. This is less like strict facts about it and more just like things that excited me about. I mean, just the concept of being on a three year long road trip with no modern, they're not even roads. They're the first white men to do this.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

If you've walked into like a forest with no path, that like going 10 feet uh is exhausting. That's out yes. So they must have mostly done river. Like, there's no way you're going that direction that far because they got all this stuff with them. You have to be floating that.

SPEAKER_04 21:59

Yeah, they were doing a But I mean you get to the point in the mountains and stuff where you have to pass through it. I can't even imagine that being able to do that. That's what's so fun. They did though. That is crazy. They did. Just with willpower and with a sense of adventure and with um you know government money. They were just they just did it. They did it though. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

They did it. That's how we're doing these data centers. Willpower, sense of adventure, and government money.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Data centers. See, that ruins a joke if you say data instead of data.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I'm not trying to preserve that joke. I'm trying to prefer dad is more my brand. That's a really date. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:36

Just I mean, three years, there's so many so much. So do you guys know Sacagawea then?

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Well, I know her coin.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Uh, but I don't know much.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

Part of the reason why the Lewis and Clark is so interesting to me because like from the Northwest, we have so much Lewis and Clark history. There's like a big like with the like there's a middle school down the street from my mom's house called Sacagawea Middle School. Like oh, nice. There's a lot of Lewis and Clark history up there and all that stuff. Sacagawea, I also noticed a lot of people down here say Sicagawea. Whoa, I did not notice that. Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

You guys heard that? That's violently wrong.

SPEAKER_04 23:08

Like, that's not even that's what I thought, but I've heard it enough. But people down here also say Oregon and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

So I wouldn't take how things are pronounced down here to heart. Yeah, yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

She was so she was a pregnant Native American woman. She's pregnant. She was pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

That like three years. All right. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

Keep going. She was a pregnant Native American woman that just basically showed them how to navigate. They got to a point where they picked her and her husband up. Wow. And she just showed them through and helped them. They were like, it was one of those situations where they would run in these Native American tribes and they like knew her tribe or knew not her necessarily, but basically she would be like, they're cool. You know?

SPEAKER_00 23:47

That's so interesting. They picked up her and her husband, but she's the one that was famous for knowing directions. So that goes against a lot of our stereotypes.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

Yeah, yeah. Isn't that beautiful?

SPEAKER_00 23:54

That's kind of this is a very progressive story.

SPEAKER_04 23:57

Well, wait till you hear how it ends. They go, she has the baby, they go, they finish, whatever, they go drop them off at their back at their tribe. Okay. And she there's a reason she's the famous one. It's because she did everything to help them. Wow. When they dropped them off, the the Sakagerwee and her husband, they paid her husband for the help and gave her nothing. Not even 72 cents on the dollar.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Just no, no, no. Zero dollars. Zero dollars. They go, hey, thank you for letting us use your wife. So the attitudes were clear that it's a patriarchal attitude. How did she become famous given the attitudes of that? How was it recorded so that she still was the notable figure? She's that good. Just that much of a force of nature.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

And maybe it was maybe it was such that that they expected her to help. Like, of course, this is her place, is just to contribute. Um, yeah, I don't even know her husband's name. No one's heard of her husband's name.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

That's crazy. Like now in history, that guy is just Sakawe's husband. That's feminist as hell. Isn't that fun? But she made zero dollars. Zero. She got nothing from she got a baby. And she did it with a baby impregnant. And yet she stepped up and did that. For what reason? Just the money, I guess. Because her husband told her to.

SPEAKER_04 25:07

Okay. I don't, I don't know. I don't think she was like excited to be like, hey, yeah, these white guys are.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

She was just pregnant, begrudgingly helping guys her husband met. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

That's kind of funny. Not a fun story necessarily. But it is kind of fun that, yeah. I mean, they could they literally could not have done it without her. Yeah. Literally. There was uh also on the losing clerk. So this book I read, Undaunted Courage, it was just like a bunch of random. I mean, it was like the bat, but just these different stories stick out of like one time they sent this guy out to go hunting. Like everybody's on the boat. They send this guy out to go hunting. He doesn't come back for a little while. Or like they they're like, oh, he must be lost. Okay. So they went down the river to find them. Meanwhile, he is lost. He thinks he missed the boat. So he starts going down river or like along the path to like try and catch up with them. So he's like booking it, hustling, like, oh my god, I gotta catch the boat. They left without me, all this stuff. Meanwhile, the boat's behind him and he's actively running away.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

And till he runs out of juice, like how did they get him?

SPEAKER_04 26:19

Actively running away. He just like accepted death and just laid by the river and was like, Well, they left without me. And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, the boat just comes up and like, hey, is that Rick?

unknown 26:30

What?

SPEAKER_04 26:30

Oh, Rick. And I just imagine being that guy and just being like, God, I'll never, you know, this is it. This is it for me. What a mistake I made. And then you go, hey, what's that behind me? And it's just all your boys there. How fun is that?

SPEAKER_00 26:43

What a crazy turn of events. Yeah. That that's reminding me of a story from my life. Okay. Where you were exploring. I was marooned on a river. Wow. We, my dad and I were camping. We would go down the river and camp day after day. We were it's like our mini Lewis and Clark. So, you know, camping is part of it, but it's facilitating fishing. And we didn't know because it was like multiple days. So when we set off, like the forecast looked fine. And it was day two or three or something, and we were trying to find a spot to be. And there's this like island that's kind of in the middle of the river. Not like up high in the river. So it's like, I don't know, 10 feet up out of the water. Uh on, and then you got water on either side, and the river kind of breaks out, and it's a great spot to fish off of. So we're like, great, we'll stay here. How deep's the water? Um, well, at the time that we were setting up camp, you know, it's different, different places, but you know, like maybe like four feet here, you go down into the deep parts, they go like 12 feet down in there. Okay. So it it changes, but you know, you can touch some parts, you can't touch other parts. And um, that night, it rained. Like, you know, the heaviest rain that you're like, this is the most water that can come out of the sky. It rained that hard for probably four hours.

SPEAKER_04 27:53

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Uh and we woke up the next morning and unzipped the tent, and the water was like four feet from the door of the tent. Oh no. It had come up like nine of the ten feet. And we start looking around. There's like not a lot of sand left.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Like the trees are like down in the water, you know. And we go to where the tent had been. I mean, so we go to where the canoe had been, just water it gone. We're like sticking the ore down in there trying to find the canoe. You thought it got submerged? We thought maybe it got submerged and stuck. No, because you were hoping. You're that you're like, That's a very optimistic thing to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

Uh you're like clearly this boat that floats didn't get swept down the river. It clearly got buried in water.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

It was swept away. You want to hear the most optimistic thing I did? Yes. I wrote a note and I put it in a beer can and I sent it down the river with a message that we had been, yes, that we were stuck. And I was thinking like message in a bottle. I kept saying this is a message in a bottle. Someone will look for, but then I was like, if somebody sees this, they're just gonna see a beer can floating down the river. No one's gonna go, I bet there's a message in there.

SPEAKER_04 29:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Let me grab that and then we'll go find whoever sent it.

SPEAKER_04 29:15

Yeah, a big part of the message in the bottle is that it's in a glass bottle and you can see that there's a message in there.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

It's not like your course can. Yeah. Um crack it open. No. So we were like the message say the message was something like stuck on the island, help, something like that. Um, and so then we we weren't supposed to be off the river, we weren't scheduled to be off the river for like another maybe day or two. So it was like, oh, we're just here and this is where we're gonna be, and we have no canoe, and we're just gonna be on this island. And then exactly like in the Lewis and Clark, we hear a boat motor and we see the guy that dropped us off from the canoe place, and he looked nervous.

SPEAKER_04 30:01

Yeah, because he knew where you were, and he knew generally, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

And so a lot of these camping spots, like the spot we camped the night before, toast, gone, swept away. Like, and you gotta think, like in the moment, if we had really been in a situation where we were lower and you start to feel the water coming up, like it's rising fast, but you would be doing something. So it's like, could you climb a tree? Could you uh try to find your canoe if it hasn't been swept away? But it's pitch black, and the water's coming up really quick and it's moving. So the water is ripping like it's normally trickling, it's like going 15 miles an hour around you, which like that means you're like driving in a car speeds, crashing into stuff, like smashing into the sides of the wall. All of a sudden, it's like almost a white water. So he came around the corner and he was relieved. And this is the craziest part. We go, we're sorry, we lost the canoe. And there was a guy he'd already brought on the boat his own sack of Julia, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, This guy's gonna find it. He goes, I knew you'd have lost your canoe. I brought him with me because I said, If you if I find you, I bet they lost that canoe. This guy goes down the boat by himself, down the down the river in the boat by himself, okay, disappears for about 35 minutes, comes back with the canoe. Canoe and tow. Canoe in tow. Wow. It was completely submerged except for the very tip, and he found it. He's like, this guy's lived here his whole life. He's like, I would put him against any like hydro engineer in the world. He knows every crook of this river, he knows exactly where stuff is gonna end up. It was a mile down the river. Yeah, that's why it took him 35 minutes. He's like, he just navigated straight to it, pulled it out by himself, brought it up. He had maybe seven teeth.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

One canoe though. Yeah, it didn't work.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

I I don't I wouldn't call what he was speaking English either.

SPEAKER_04 31:59

Give me an impression.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

It's like, I don't take a canoe, night. I board it up and you got fired me. Yeah. And I was like, this guy is so crazy. If I could get him on the pod.

SPEAKER_04 32:12

Oh man. I mean, that guy's got some stories. But that was my Lewis and Clark. I mean, that is absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Did you get your deposit back on the canoe? Um, no, we had to pay extra because we had to pay that guy to find the canoe. How much did he charge? I think they charged like 20 bucks, and we gave him more than that.

SPEAKER_04 32:31

20 bucks?

SPEAKER_00 32:32

It was something crazy cheap. He's like, I give this guy 20 bucks to find the canoe.

SPEAKER_04 32:35

The only guy that can do it, the only guy that knows the river that well gets 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

I think my dad gave him like a hundred bucks. Oh, okay. But it's nice of your dad. Yeah. Wow. Um that's fun. What river? Uh 11 Point River in Missouri. Oh, nice. Speaking of Lewis and Clark. I don't know. Uh did they did they have like people dying along the way a lot?

SPEAKER_04 32:57

I don't remember. Um, I don't I don't think it wasn't a lot though. Okay. It wasn't a lot. Some people turned back, I think, and then they dropped off people along the way. Like, you know, they would go through some like cities and stuff. Um, but from what I know, it wasn't like a donner party type of thing where like everybody's done, you know. Obviously it wasn't that bad, but you know, some things happen. There were like mutinies though.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Oh, and there were like Against Lewis and Clark? Weren't they the leaders? Yeah. So people were trying to mutiny? Yeah, but it's trying to change the name of the expedition. It's like it's gonna be Davidson and Russell.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Uh-huh. By the time I get my voice heard. Yeah. Yeah. No, there were like mutinies and they would have trials. Oh, wow. Three years is a long time. You create like a little government. Yeah. You have to have there has to be an order of what's that called a hierarchy. A hierarchy. Yeah. What were they trialing? All sorts of stuff. Drunkenness, fighting. There was one where a guy got accused of um like sleeping when he was supposed to be on watch. That's a big one. And there was like this big trial. I mean, not a huge trial, but they they he they ended up finding him not guilty of sleeping, but guilty of laying down. It was it was like second-degree laziness, is basically what it was.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

I've been convicted of that in my house many times.

SPEAKER_04 34:15

Just a fascinating thing. The you know, the the hierarchy that that evolved there. But yeah, they were people were getting drunk and fighting, and you know.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Were they making hooch along the way? How do you have that much booze that you can carry around?

SPEAKER_04 34:27

It was a pretty high priority to have if you're gonna do that. Pretty high priority to have liquor. Wow. And they would get like their allotment of liquor for the week, and you know, I mean, it's just I mean, it's just an infinitely there's just so many three years, so many good little stories, such a crazy thing to wrap your head around that people even did. I mean, that's I'd rather read about that than read about people going to the moon for the first time, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

I agree. I think that is so it's so much more relatable. I feel like you can imagine having done that.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

You can imagine doing that. You think you could have done it?

SPEAKER_00 35:01

No, I would have been a turnbacker for sure. But I would have been there for like a couple weeks and I would have come back with like good stories, and I've been like telling those for three years, and then be like, we forgot you even went on the expedition.

SPEAKER_04 35:12

What would you have told them your reason was for going back? Because obviously you can't tell them you got like scared or exhausted or I'd probably be like diarrhea.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Isn't that a good? Isn't that a get out of jail free for a lot of stuff?

SPEAKER_04 35:25

Yeah, but that in today's society, yeah. I feel like in that society, diarrhea is just like, yeah, dude, we all got it.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

I thought you died. That's I really did think like dysentery.

SPEAKER_04 35:34

Dysentery, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, I don't want you guys to get this. I can't, I whatever I got is bad. I'm thinking of you. Like, trust me. You don't want to be. I would love to be here. I would love to keep going.

SPEAKER_04 35:44

But I mean, Lewis and Clark, I mean, come on. If I take out Lewis and Clark with this.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

This is gonna be bad. They're gonna put you guys on money someday. Well, not all of you, just the women. Yeah, but I can't bring this whole tribe down over my poopy.

SPEAKER_04 35:57

And then you tell them when you got home, when everyone goes, hey, you're back soon. You go, yeah, I got diarrhea.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

I got diarrhea. Yeah. I had I I don't know what I'd tell the people back home. I mean, just tell them, like, they all died. I'm the only one that made it. And three years later, three years later, you got people come back.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

Lose what now I think you'd have to make it like romantic. You'd have to be like, you know what? I started into it, and and three weeks without my wife and my seven kids was was too much to bear. Yeah. You know, no amount of exploring is worth leaving what I've already found here.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

But isn't that gonna be hard? Because then like a week later, and I'm like, hey, I'm going to Tupelo to do the Chuckle Hut.

SPEAKER_04 36:37

Yeah, yeah. Um, did you know that uh Mary Mary Weather Lewis killed himself? What? Why?

SPEAKER_00 36:43

I mean, I don't know if you ever know why, but kind of story.

SPEAKER_04 36:46

He got well, oh, crazy thing, he you know, dealt with a lot of like depression and stuff. There's a lot of or it's kind of unfounded, but there is a theory that a lot of his mental problems were due to untreated syphilis. Oh, just because he was out there getting crazy, caught it, caught some syphilis, and then it, you know, whatever it was.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Yeah, that's what got what was it, Al Capone?

SPEAKER_04 37:10

Um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Uh, don't worry about it. We'll cut it.

SPEAKER_04 37:12

Um, and yeah, this is pretty dark. We might have to cut this whole thing. So he his death site, Merriwood Luce's death site, is like an hour from here along the Natchez Trace. Interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

But so he kind of went nuts from the syphilis, presumably, and that contributed to the conditions that made him be like, I gotta get out of here.

SPEAKER_04 37:31

He also likes the expedition went way over on time and way over on money. No. And he like, so he spent all this, all these people's money and they're like wanting it back. Like the government specifically was like, Hey, we need to pay us back for that whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Maybe that's why he took three years. Like, as soon as he went over the money, he's like, let's just take our time, boys.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

Let's make it count. We got blank checks. I mean, they really did. They had blank checks from the government, they're just like, figure it out. I don't know, man. So he was like, he was like got into politics when he came back, but he just was convinced that everyone hated him and he was a failure for um failure?

SPEAKER_00 38:01

They they didn't think it was a success that they charted all the way out there.

SPEAKER_04 38:04

It was a success. And like the the plants that he sent back and the descriptions of everything was hugely successful, but he just because he couldn't pay him back. Yeah. In that sense, he thought it was a failure.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Did they think they would find something of such value that it would merit it financially to do it? Is that what the goal was?

SPEAKER_04 38:22

The goal was to find a just to explore and learn more about it, but they were looking for a river that I forget what the term is, but a river that went straight through the they were looking for a path ideally by water that would that would um connect connect the Pacific and the Atlantic.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

And they knew the Pacific Ocean existed and they knew that it was what was over there. And they knew that's where they were trying to go. Just no one had ever gone that way to it.

SPEAKER_04 38:48

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 38:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:49

Um what years was this? Uh brother, I mean, come on, man.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Uh 18 You're bringing in Lewis and Clark as your topic, and you're like, it was like you.

SPEAKER_04 38:58

Let me guess. I haven't looked at let me get I'm gonna guess 1812. It was Jefferson's idea. So I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess 1806 to 1809. Okay, when asked Chat GPT. I it drives me nuts that you're so far into chat GPT, man.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

I'm sorry. Every time I see you do it, I'm like, you scumbag. I feel bad about it. And so why don't you do something different? I intend to every time, and then I get this feeling inside me that goes, I gotta know this right this second, please help. And then I just do it. Um, what was I guess on the years? You said 1806 to 1809?

SPEAKER_04 39:33

What is it? Uh this according to Google AI, which hypocrite here, but it's uh 1804 to uh 1806.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Yeah, you were right in there. Right in there. If this was the carnival game, you'd have gotten it based on the years. You were within three years.

SPEAKER_04 39:47

The smaller prize, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

You got something big for that. Yeah, it's pretty giving you. That's pretty good, man.

SPEAKER_04 39:52

That's not bad at all.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Wow, but that is early days. They didn't know about dinosaurs yet. Isn't that crazy? When did we find out about dinosaurs? That's Chat GPT. When did we find out about dinosaurs?

SPEAKER_03 40:07

That's such an insane thing to ask the computer, the ChatGPT. I mean, yeah, I mean, this says dinosaurs were scientifically recognized as extinct giant reptiles in 1824.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

We had no idea. They were walking over dinosaurs left and right on the Lewis and Clark. No clue.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

No clue. What was the wording on that specifically? Sorry. They yeah, they they they recognized them as extinct giant reptiles in 1824. So they might have they might have had some fossils or specimens, but they didn't they like put they wrapped it all together at that point.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Oh, imagine being the guy that was like, This is a dinosaur, and they're like, You're nuts. You're a dumbass, it's 1764. Throw that guy out.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

That was just a bigger cow than usual, is all that that was.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

These people were fine in this stuff, yeah. And no one was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what that they were just like, this guy is a disaster.

SPEAKER_04 40:59

Can you imagine the legend though? Of like the way that word got around, you couldn't like bring it around and show it. Like, I'm I'm thinking about like a femur of a Bronosaurus, yeah. You couldn't show it around, so you just heard a rumor that this guy has an eight-foot bone in his backyard, yeah. Yeah, good luck.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_04 41:17

Good luck. I'm telling you, man. It's huge. It's something, yeah. That's not I don't care how many mules you got, you can't drag this thing out of the no, this is humongous.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Oh gosh, 1820. Do you want to put a button on any of this Lewis and Clark stuff before we break?

SPEAKER_04 41:32

No, I said the dog stuff. Um crazy thing about this isn't funny at all. But so he killed himself, right? And so it's it's on the Natchez Trace Parkway down here, an hour south of where we are right now. I'll think of it every time I drive. Yeah, it's great. Um, he like shot himself, but he's so tough that he didn't die. No, Merry Weather Lewis shot himself, I think, in the head was the first one. It didn't kill him. People like came to like his room at the inn and were like, What's going on? He's like, I'm I'm doing it. He and what he said was he goes, I'm not scared to die. I'm just too tough. I can't kill myself. And then he shot himself again and again didn't die. What? And then he stabbed himself a bunch, and then finally he died. But he was he was so tough that he and like embarrassed to be seen as weak. That he had to say, he had to go, like, hey, hey, I'm not scared. This is what I want. I'm just the reason I'm not dead is because I'm too much of a badass.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

Whoa! As they came in his room, he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, give me 20 more minutes and I will figure this out.

SPEAKER_04 42:35

He started stabbing himself to finish, just cutting himself up, yeah. He ran out of bullets, or uh, that's a good question. I think he just got the hint. He's like, if two bullets don't do it, I don't know what three's gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 42:46

That's a great case against syphilis. I mean, don't get it, and if you get it, clear it up fast. Wrap it up.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

Yeah, you don't want to be up, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So, anyway, that's that's uh Lewis and Clark, man. I mean, there's just a hundred million, a hundred million.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

There's a ton of good stories there. Lewis and Dark. That is brutal. All right, and with that. No, that's fine. That's good. I'm glad you brought in Lewis and Clark. That is that's a fun tale to tell. Um, and I feel like the expedition that I want to continue for you is this hair transplant expedition.

SPEAKER_04 43:17

Yeah. During the break, we were saying I'm closer than I've ever been to getting a hair transplant.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Safe to say hair transplant is growing on you.

unknown 43:26

All right.

SPEAKER_00 43:26

See, he is good. He is good with the little word, the little word stuff.

SPEAKER_04 43:30

He he's great at it. He's great at it. Yeah. But we Why are you blushing right now?

SPEAKER_00 43:35

Because it's embarrassing to do wordplay. Um, but we we did just take a break. We'll let the audience in on that. But Hayden was saying that you did you did it in Atlanta.

SPEAKER_03 43:43

Atlanta, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

But you wish you'd gone to Turkey. Just so I would have saved a lot of money, yeah. But like the phenomenon of the Turkish hair transplant exists independent of any kind of advertising or or marketing campaign.

SPEAKER_04 43:57

You've never seen a commercial for it. Meanwhile, you were talking about Bosley. Or whatever it's called. Well, there are billboards for that everywhere, but no one thinks of Basley when they think hair trans, they think Turkey. You gotta go to Turkey. Yes, of course. What else what other so Brazil's got the butts? Yeah, Brazil's got the biggest. Turkey's got the hair. What else? What are there other cosmetic exports like that?

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Oh, I was just thinking like Is there like a facelift capital? Is there like a place where facelifts are the best ever? I was thinking where like Trader Joe's has those little cookies, but like you never see a Trader Joe's advertisement, but everybody knows like that's where you go. But that's in America to get frozen dinners. A place that's known for a thing, a cosmetic thing.

SPEAKER_04 44:37

I think face transplants is like face transplants. What did I say? That's what you said. Face lift? Face lift. Face lift. No, I'm doing it all. I'm getting the hair, I'm getting the face, getting the foot transplant, facelift. That's got that's somewhere in Asia, yeah. I would assume. I don't know. Is it Asian facelift? I think so. I was gonna ask Chat GPT where you should go for a facelift, it would be somewhere in Asia.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

I I've already used way too much water on the Lewis and Clark thing. I can't use more. I hit my limit for chat GPTing. We'll have to just make it up. If I was gonna get a face transplant, I would want to do it in Asia. I feel like they'd know how to do it better. Right? Go ahead. Why is that? They use chopsticks. Are you kidding me? They're gonna know how to get in there and do all the little stuff. You want your face transplant with a fork? Is that what you want? Surgy with chopsticks. You don't know. You've never been to over there. You got a hunch. You got a hunch, they're not using chopsticks. But isn't that what they use?

SPEAKER_03 45:31

You use little tiny tools, dude. Yeah, they're practicing their surgical movements.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

From the first time every day they can move their motor skills, they're practicing for a face transplant over there.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

So we were playing operation, but they they don't need operating.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

You want those big, chubby, greasy American fingers doing your face transplant?

SPEAKER_04 45:46

That's so funny. That that's the reason there's so many Asian doctors, is because they're like, I'm already good at it. You're chopping it up, maybe. Yeah. You had the if you had to get one cosmetic thing, we'll take hair off the off the table.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

I've done a few already. So I've I'm taking pills for the hair, but I also got I got veneers on two teeth. Okay. Two short teeth. The lateral incisors were pretty short.

SPEAKER_04 46:07

Which one are they pointing out?

SPEAKER_00 46:08

Uh like not your big teeth, but the one right next to them. Okay. Um, and I they look fine. They're not like amazing. But what will happen to me is if I hit my head, weird, if I hit the front of my head, my teeth will clang together in a way that this left one pops off and goes flying across the room. What? Which is it's a double embarrassment because you've just publicly hit your head. So you're already like, oh God. And then there's a projectile. And then uh you spit a tooth out of your mouth. You have to go find your tooth. And you have to go go, guys, nobody move. My tooth's on the floor. I've done it over the stove, into the stove. I've done it getting onto a boat. Is there anything more embarrassing than getting onto a boat wrong, first of all? And then you hit your head and you're like, I've hit my head getting on the boat. And then I hit my head getting on the boat and I spat my tooth out onto the deck. Oh, sorry guys, nobody splash. Is this a bit that you do? This is no, this is just my life. But I'll see if I can work it in. You're talking about the self-deprecating or something.

SPEAKER_04 47:06

It's a great way to get into it. Of like, of like, yes, I'm hot, but I have some I have my flaw. There's there's a downside. This tooth flies out sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

This tooth goes out.

SPEAKER_04 47:13

Because you're not even when you said hit your head earlier, I was like, how often is this happening? More than how often are you hitting your head?

SPEAKER_03 47:19

I don't not often.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

But you're talking about bonking your head. Bonk, and it's a specific spot. It's like it's like hitting like the jackpot button and like all the teeth fall out. It's like boing, just flies off.

SPEAKER_04 47:32

That is so fun.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

Oh man. But so that that that's the one regret I have about it is I'm like, that is a bummer to always be knowing like I'm one bonk tet. But this is this did get me into a bit because now I think that your tongue has a mind of its own. Everyone's tongue has its own life that it lives, independent of your brain.

SPEAKER_04 47:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:54

And the the case that I make is like, you know, when you burn the roof of your mouth and your tongue just be like, This is what I'm gonna do today. Mess with this now. And you're like, you don't have to do that. Your tongue's like, no, no, no, I do. Got it. Okay, but now my tongue has learned this problem. So when I'm around stuff that my brain thinks I'm about to hit my head on, my tongue creeps up like this, it goes right up. Bracing for impact. Bracing for impact, like a like an airbag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like to protect, it's like, okay, put the seatbelt on because there's stuff you can hit your head on. And I won't even know I'm doing it. So I will realize like if you're in an area almost like the studio where there's like stuff you're kind of ducking under, all of a sudden my tongue will come out, and so I'll just walk around like that's like I'm ducking it out my tongue. So that's embarrassing. That's really funny, man.

SPEAKER_04 48:44

Yeah, I'm a big guy of like it has to do with the hair thing, but like I'm a big guy of like, you know what, this is what I look like, this is it, and whatever.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

That's right, attitude. Um, because it'll never stop. There's always another hair to shave, there's always another tooth to knock out.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

That's why I don't get hair, don't even think about hair transplants because there's always gonna be something else.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

You may as I mean you can't be a slob and go about. I mean, you know, I got a tooth, I don't, it's not a veneer, but it's like this one here's fake. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there is some cosmetic stuff I'll do, but and you can't be a slob, but there is some point where you do have to go, hey, look, I'm not gonna fight it.

SPEAKER_00 49:19

If you can't find canoes in deep water, you need all your teeth. I feel like you that's the trade-off. Like you gotta have them all, or you gotta be like, I'm gonna die canoe right now for you, Roman. So those are your options in life.

SPEAKER_04 49:30

Yeah, I'm not good with water, so I made my choice.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

Uh this is a little bit of a turn, but and we can cut this if it isn't fun. Okay. I wanted to do a blind ranking game with you. Great. You're a sports guy, right? You like sports. Um, these are this is gonna be blind ranking sports accomplishments, but each one of them has a twist. I got seven of these. Okay. All right. Uh, first one out the shoot. You win an Olympic medal in an individual sport, yeah, but it's bronze.

SPEAKER_04 49:56

Oh, okay. All right, all right, all right. So you just said you win a bronze medal, but you had to put it in your little in the window. In my in my butt formula. Uh oh, Olympic bronze medal? That's really impressive, man. You're the when that you're the Olympics happen, you're the third best at your third best at your thing.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

And it's an individual. It's not a team, it's an individual.

SPEAKER_04 50:14

Give me uh give me number two.

SPEAKER_00 50:16

Number two?

SPEAKER_04 50:17

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

All right. Wow, big moves here. All right.

SPEAKER_04 50:20

Oh, that's why just briefly, I I it's that's an international competition. Yeah. You were the third best in the entire world.

SPEAKER_00 50:28

No, I think that's a safe place to put it, honestly. And knowing the rest of the list, I didn't think you were gonna go that high that early, but I think you'll be glad you did. I'm good at this stuff. He's a pro. Uh Super Bowl ring, but you got it from being an assistant coach. Six. Okay. Respect. Respect, but yeah. It feels like, oh, you got the ring, but like, all right, you are more of an ancillary. Huge, huge part of it.

SPEAKER_04 50:55

You know, you can't do without it, but an assistant coach, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:59

Okay. I'm impressed. Yeah, I'm impressed. Um your team wins the NBA championship, but you were injured for the entire final series. So you're there the whole season, the whole run. You're a part of the playoff success, but they actually the all the games in the finals, you were on the bench.

SPEAKER_04 51:23

Injured.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

They won without you.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

Uh let's go with number four.

SPEAKER_00 51:28

Yep, that's safe.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

Yep. Uh some regrets.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Good. Similar, your team wins a Stanley Cup. You never started. You were always coming in off the whole season.

SPEAKER_04 51:41

That one's more impressive than the that's number three. That's right up, that's right above the edge of the code.

SPEAKER_00 51:47

Okay, so you're you're like a role player on a Stanley Cup.

SPEAKER_04 51:50

Yeah, yeah. That's more impressive because you're there's so many substitutions in hockey.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

You're you're out there on the ice so much.

SPEAKER_04 51:54

Even if you're the third or the fourth line, you're still getting some. Although the the the line they do rotate less players in the playoffs, so it's a similar thing. But yeah, yeah, that's impressive. Okay, okay. You're out there a lot.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

You said three? Yep.

SPEAKER_04 52:05

Uh so I saw the one spot. What do I have left? One.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Are you keeping track of this at all, Hayden? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 52:09

In my head.

SPEAKER_00 52:10

Yeah. What do you have left?

SPEAKER_04 52:12

I got the one spot. I got uh two, three, and four are gone.

SPEAKER_00 52:16

One, five, and seven? One, five, and seven. All right. Yep. You're the major league baseball home run leader for one season, but you never win a championship.

SPEAKER_04 52:27

Uh that one's five.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 52:29

Yep. Very impressive.

SPEAKER_00 52:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

Cal Raleigh type thing.

SPEAKER_00 52:34

Heisman Trophy runner up. Okay. That's it. There's no buttons. Well, I mean, you didn't win.

SPEAKER_04 52:41

So it's either one or seven?

SPEAKER_00 52:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:45

Let's go with, you know what? I'm gonna roll the dice. That one, that one's uh that one's number seven.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 52:50

Runner up, not impressed. Not impressed.

SPEAKER_00 52:52

Runner up. I know, no one really remembers that. That's like a very deep, uh, like nerdy thing that no one's gonna remember that.

SPEAKER_04 53:00

Everyone in your life knows. Yeah, and the thing about college sports is that like a Heisman runner up, that can be someone that in the national, like you forget about, but to that school, you were a legend forever.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

Totally.

SPEAKER_04 53:14

The season that you had gets talked about a lot. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Like uh Man Taiteo, he might have been third. Something like that. He was but he was at the event. It's it's kind of in that vein.

SPEAKER_02 53:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

Um, all right. And our number one. This will be your number one. Yep. You win the masters, yeah. But on the 18th, you go to pull the ball out and you poop your pants, and everyone sees it. That's I mean, that's great. That is number one. I feel like it should be.

SPEAKER_04 53:41

You won the masters. Yeah. No one's gonna care.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

Huge does not matter if you pooped your pants. No, it's just gonna make it more memorable, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Yeah, you'll be the guy that pooped his pants. Like they'll show that clip every year. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_04 53:54

The green drag jacket and the brown pants.

SPEAKER_00 53:56

That is a tradition, unlike any other.

SPEAKER_04 53:58

Yeah, that's great. Would you yeah? Oh, yeah, that's that's super the masters, is hard.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

Yeah, I feel like that, and also that's sort of in the that class where it's like the rarefied air. They have a little jacket, you do a ceremony, you put it on the next guy, you can always come back. It feels like if you do it one time, yeah, even if you poop your pants.

SPEAKER_04 54:20

Well, and the thing about the masters is it's so prestigious and it's so it's like the quintessential, like um, stuck up golf club. Yeah, they're so exclusive, they didn't have their first black member to like the 2000s, not that late. But I mean, they're like they're like problematic. They're like aloof to a very problematic degree. Yes. And to win the masters and earn the right to be part of that group and have pooped your pants publicly, that would just feel great. It's kind of the dream, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 54:51

It's great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:53

I have a grandmother that lives in Augusta, like two blocks from that golf course.

SPEAKER_00 54:57

Oh, does she rent her house during the the masters?

SPEAKER_04 55:00

Oh, so she stays and she just hangs. It's it's I I I I just met this part of my family recently. Okay. But it's like Augusta's like mythical in the way that the the golf course takes over the city. Like the the there's this famous story recently of they planted a bunch of new trees, like fully grown trees that they had shipped in, but they planted them overnight through like under like the secrecy of darkness. Why?

SPEAKER_00 55:27

So people are because there's because they're Augusta, and that's how they they don't want to see people planting trees, they don't want they don't break the illusion that trees because they're like don't just magically appear.

SPEAKER_03 55:38

They're secretive.

SPEAKER_04 55:38

They just go, they go, hey, I don't they have these trees.

SPEAKER_03 55:40

There are some some Lorax motives here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:45

So they were saying that like my family was saying that like you just woke up one morning, drove to work, and there are these fully grown trees that were not there. It's like when you showed back up to school with your new hair.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

With your hair. It's like, what happened here? Dude, look at you go. You've been growing.

SPEAKER_04 55:59

Yeah, they have tunnels to go under the like secret tunnels to go on tunnel thing. Yeah, they Augusta like shuts down the city to the point where, like, I mean, it just controls the city. The golf course does. There's all the businesses within like a three-block radius of the course are like painted Augusta colors of like the dark green and the white. Yeah, like there's churches that are painted dark green. Coming up to the tournament and like the weeks before, they'll go around and if your lawn is like out of order, they'll like mow your grass for you just so the neighborhood looks better.

SPEAKER_00 56:32

It's like a built-in HOA.

SPEAKER_04 56:34

Yeah, and if I could and if I could do that, if I could be part of that, a group that takes things that seriously and be a guy who publicly pooped his pants. Yeah. That's I mean, that's have you ever hit somebody playing golf? No. Well, no, yeah. I'm pretty I'm I'm bad enough at golf that like if I'm swinging the club, everyone knows. Everyone gets out of there. This could go literally anywhere. This is the problem. Good.

SPEAKER_00 56:58

Uh well, I this was not with a golf club, but we were hitting balls in the backyard when we were kids, and my buddy was having trouble making contact, and his older brother was there, and he kept like he couldn't hit the ball at all. He was missing, and he was like, Good swing, Tiger, doing all that stuff. And you could tell he he was getting madder and madder at his older brother. And then he threw the golf club and his brother ducked, and then it hit this other kid, Zach, in the head, and like split his head open, blood everywhere. You know, when you're a kid and something happens and you go, You're gonna be in so much trouble. Yeah, it's like, oh, this is this is unrecoverable. You might as well just retire.

SPEAKER_04 57:40

Well, and also when you're a kid, there's a thing where you the second after you do something and it goes bad in the way, you go, I should have known that that was gonna happen exactly like that. Yes. I just, it took me, I was so close to knowing that was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

It's kid brain. It's like there's a certain point in your life cycle, like it must be that frontal lobe doesn't get developed. I have so many occurrences where it's like when you're a kid, you do the thing and you're like, what? That was such a bad idea. Dude, I know. What are you? What were we doing?

SPEAKER_03 58:09

The most diabolical thing I ever did as a kid. And we were at a restaurant, me and like family friends and something. I had this buddy named Cooper, and I he went to the bathroom and I put salt and pepper on a napkin. And he got back and he like sat down and I just like flicked it into his eyes for no reason. Oh I don't know. It's not certainly a prank, but it's more of an attack. That's like salt and pepper. There he is. It was straight up an assault. And I thought it would like garner like a lot of laughter, and I was like looking around, everybody's like, What the hell? And I remember just being like, What? I had like one of these moments, like, what have I done?

SPEAKER_04 58:43

Yeah, yeah, I mean it's tough. Yeah, when you're mean to someone and it bombs and you just look like a jerk. Yeah, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_03 58:50

Tough.

SPEAKER_00 58:50

Yeah, that's what I never mean. I had a story I was gonna tell. I won't even tell it because I feel that bad about it. Because you're just dealt to this day. It was just such a bad idea. I told a kid that his dog had died while we were at his house. I don't know why I thought it would be like a joke that he like got, but then he took it serious and he went to his parents and was crying. And I was like, this was the worst thing a human's ever done to another human, you know? And I was like, I haven't you read the Lewis and Clark book, it's all fun. Uh but yeah, so that's the type of thing. When you're a kid, you go, like, let me just go with this. Yeah, you just do and then you're like, Why would I have ever?

SPEAKER_04 59:30

How did you tell him the dog died?

SPEAKER_00 59:31

I was just like, Hey, do you know your dog died?

SPEAKER_04 59:34

When you were at his house where the dog was?

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Yeah, but I'm like, obviously, he's not gonna think, you know, but I wasn't thinking about that much. It's like you just are like just around here to say I get that one more than what I did on the show. Did you just hear the dog died? Did you hear your dog died? Hey, did you hear your dog died? And he's like, What? And he just took it a hundred percent serious, and then he immediately left, and I'm like, I can't even paper over this now. He's like gone, yeah, and I'm panicking. He goes and tells his parents, my parents are there, and they're like, I don't they come to me and they're like, You can't. I don't what do you even say to a kid? You can't do that. Like, obviously, you can't do that, mom. I know that. I I thought it would be fun. I thought it would be fun to tell him his dog died. Yeah, and I still, I still feel like so bad. I don't know how if I'll ever be over it.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:21

Uh, I think, yeah, it's pretty bad. That that one at least does make sense. Where you're like, because there is a well, because there is a point when you're a kid where you just try and see you're just like staying in the city. I'm just trying crazy. Now throwing salt and pepper in someone's face.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:35

See that one, I don't even that like to this day. I'm like, what what is like Jekyll and Hyde almost? It was like I just something came in. It's a balding middle schooler, it's throwing salt in everybody.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:45

Also, like the dog thing, that's just something you say, and then you're like, Oh, you like put the you put it back in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh no, you had to like prep.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:54

Yeah, there was like a it was like a trap.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:56

Like it was like a trap, yeah. Uh yeah. How old were you?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:01

Uh I was probably 11. Okay. Okay. Oh, too old to do that. Okay. You have to go to the doctor? No, he just flushed. They flushed. He went to Dr. Pepper. Yeah. They flushed his eyes out. Dr. Pepper. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:14

Yeah, that's pretty good. Dr. Pepper. That's the best one you had all day. And I because it actually was working. Because it took me a second. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, we're talking about and then he threw pepper there. That's your best one. Gotta go to Dr. Pepper. Keep up the good work, man. Clip it. Yeah. Can I can I pitch you on a thing? You don't have to get into it. I was thinking about earlier today. You and I have a very unique connection. Okay. That I don't know that much about your thing with it, but you have the joke about being a ballerina because your dad was a ballerina.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:42

So, and I, my dad is a stand-up comedian. I didn't know that. Yeah. So we have this weird connection. It might not be perfect to get into on the podcast just because it's so new, but like we have an interesting connection there of like.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

Yes. What is the inaugural class of my dad does stand-up? How do you get into it off of your dad doing it?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:01

It was literally. So I mean, I grew up, my parents were split. I live with my mom, you know, saw my dad once a week or whatever it was. And so it's never like I was never like deep into it of like, come do this, come do you whatever it was. But it was just always in the back of my head that he did comedy. I wasn't going to his shows. I would, you know, I didn't see him perform clean.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

Clean comedy?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:18

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:21

And he's like a regional at his peak, at his comedic peak, he was like a regional opening act. Okay. I mean, he would headline occasionally, but he's like uh was he full-time comedy?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:32

No. Okay. Okay. No, no, no. But a comedian, like a working comedian, but like, you know, the way we're all trying to work it.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:38

Yeah, he was like local, like back when the the Spokane's Club was like a C club. He was like the house MC. Okay. And when there were multiple clubs, and he was getting like spots on the weekends and stuff like that, but it was never like it was. I don't think he's I could be wrong about that. I don't think he's ever had merch. I don't think he's ever had yes. He's headlined and stuff, but I never really thought it was in the back of my head that I might want to try it one day or whatever. But the first time I ever did comedy was I dropped out of college and was living with him, moved back um to Spokane. And he was just, I don't I was living with him and he goes, Hey, I'm going open mic. And I go, Okay, I'll come along. And then I just dropped four minutes or whatever it was.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:16

On the way to the open mic?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:17

Uh it was probably a couple hours' notice.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:19

Wow. Yeah. And so you signed up. Mm-hmm. How'd it go? Fine. Okay. It went fine. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:26

If I could write something in the car on the way over or a couple hours before and it go fine, that's the dream.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:30

Yeah, yeah. But it was also like not fair because it's like it's like a novelty of like, oh, Ken's son is doing comp. Let's all watch. Of course. It's a supportive audience.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:39

Sure, sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:40

It wasn't just some random guy at an if I would have done those same jokes in a room where I didn't know anyone, it would have gone really bad. Okay. Yeah. Some of it might have been fine. Sure. Um, so yeah, that was like the inaugural thing, was just go along the open mic and then it went fine enough. And then now here we are.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you do the inaugural open mic. How does that feel after? You it goes pretty good, probably in your mind. You're like, I gotta do that again.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:05

It was more just intriguing, and there's no reason not to. It wasn't like a deep you hear about people doing it the first time, like, this is all I want to do forever. You know, it wasn't that. It was like, yeah, I would do that again.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

Had you thought about ever doing comedy before that weird open mic was presented?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:21

A little bit. I remember my senior year of high school, there was a talent show, and I was thinking about oh, if I do the talent show, then what would I maybe I'll do comedy. I'm so glad I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:31

That might have that might have turned you off to it forever.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:33

Yeah, if I would have bombed in front of your high school, because that would have been uh doing comedy in front of yeah, that would have been abysmal. Ooh, that's really bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:42

That's kind of the nightmare.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:43

Yeah, so you know, whatever fate um had it that I didn't do that, but yes, that's the only time I had ever like really considered it. That's so fascinating.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:52

And then from there, did you just keep going to open mics regularly? You didn't take a hiatus or anything. You're like, now I'm in it.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:58

No, I've never I'm I'm lucky enough that you know my life's gone away and I have a disposition where I've never had to take a hiatus from that's perfect, from comedy. Um there was never I just kept going and trying new stuff, and then it was a it was a good club, but yeah, it was fine. It was a it was a it was a low-level enough club that it was super easy to start working yourself up in the ranks. Oh, we sure, sure. So you're like, you know, less than a year in, you're emceeing at the club, and that's right. Two years in the comedy, you're featuring at the club, and that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:29

That's how you get good. That's great.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:31

Mm-hmm. Like with the club they have now. I mean, it's an A-list club. Seats 325 and spoke out huge room.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:37

Yeah, yeah. Harder to do that now.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:39

Oh, yeah. It's so and I can't imagine like the host sets I had or the feature sets I had, like having mediocre sets in front of that big of a crowd. I mean, it's just gotta be so hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:51

I've been moving around on stage. Have you seen my bit about dancing? Learning to dance.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:54

Yes, yes. You're two stepping something, something, something.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:57

Yeah, moving around on stage.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:59

Now you're having a Do dance. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:02

I'm doing your thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:03

I've never danced on people. Encourage me to dance on stage, and I've never done it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:07

I'm gonna encourage you to not do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:09

Thank you. Yeah. I have the exact same instinct. Yeah. I I do have a lot of purism comedy instincts and taste. Where it's like there are directions I could go that would be like hooting and hollering and entertaining for people that I'm like, I will not be doing that. Wow. Uh so that is again on stage. You'll get there on stage.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:29

You'll get there.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:30

If it's like, I'm because I already feel like I'm degrading myself so much to do the phone thing. I'm like, go all the way. Whatever, whatever the people want, I'll dance or whatever. I haven't never danced, but like if that became something that got me a ton of followers, it's like, why the hell not?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:45

On stage, it's like, dude, who who are am I gonna be embarrassed if like Mark Norman sees that? Yes. You don't have a lot of ballet material on stage. I was just thinking, I want to do more. I actually tried a new joke last night uh that was ballet related. Have you felt like this? I always feel more comfortable on stage when I can speak with authority on a topic where I go, I know so much more about this than the audience. It's like it almost insulates you from that bombing feeling where where you're like, I'm speaking with authority, so you have curiosity, not just entertain me. Because you're like, you know how when you go to a Mexican restaurant, they're like, oh, the fajitas make noise. That it's like we all have it's like the relatable thing, and they're like, Well, I'll tell you if that's true or not. But if I'm like, this is what ballet is like, they're like, I have to take your word for it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:31

This guy's telling me new facts, and they can just lie. You could lie, but you can also just be interesting for a minute. Yeah, you just tell them something interesting, and you're you've hooked them, and they're almost out of comedy analysis brain where they're like, hmm, is this guy funny? Is he better than the last guy? The the girl was my favorite, and it's they're like, Oh no, I'm just learning something new.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:50

I love jugs. I I got way too into it for a little while. There was a time where my most of my feature act was just fun facts, just fun facts with a punchline at the I mean, I I turned into a Snapple bottle with punchline. Yes, like it was just and people are like, What are you talking? It was the same thing with the Meriwether Lewis thing. We're like, this is so much more just information that it so I love that. I do love that I can see that.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:13

Well, and it because you because I'll do this too. I literally did this yesterday. I go, it was a chat GPT moment, but I was doing it as a writing exercise. I was like, give me 10 facts that most people don't know that are 100% true. And the fact that I got that I was like, this could be a joke was the average American walks enough distance in their life to go around the entire globe three and a half times. Is that does that not blow your mind? That felt like a huge distance to me. Well, with the so the joke I was thinking, I was like, I mean, can you imagine knowing that and being a personal trainer and telling someone to work out more? You go up to a guy who's 30 years old and you're like, hey, have you tried walking? He's like, Yeah, I've been around the entire earth already. You got anything else? That's that's fun. It's the beginnings of something.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:59

What about um yeah, what I mean, is are you gonna do things? They they have to update those statistics. We're moving less than ever. I mean, when was that polled?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:07

I also think average American is a huge because don't you think it's a curve like like exponential? Some people are running marathons, most people are sitting around. Yeah, of course. But then the average curve, right? Yeah, yeah. So it it ends up looking like we're going more than we are because there's like 25 people who are ultra marathoners doing all the steps for everyone.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:30

Yeah, I'm excited to see where it comes.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:31

I don't think that's gonna be a huge part of my act going forward. But the speaking with authority thing, you tell someone a fact, like you're saying, you just be the snapple fact guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:41

You have curiosity and and then you also have punchlines.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:45

I think that's good. But when it's personal, like when I'm saying I did ballet, it feels more relevant than a snapple fact because they're going, oh, this guy did like if you had been to the moon and you were like, I'm gonna do some jokes about having gone to the moon, I'm gonna care that they're funny a lot less because I just want to hear about you going to the moon.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

Sure. But you also can't get two in the weeds with like two, too specific, because then you lose the relatability.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:09

That's why I don't have more material on it. It's hard for me to write for a general audience when I have so much information. Yeah. I've had way more success making videos for a ballet audience online about it than I have having jokes that work on stage.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

Because everyone whose algorithm that ballet video is in knows what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:30

Because I can speak to them on their level inside, and it's very fun. But I can't do inside with the general audience. So I've got to find the line of like, what are your assumptions, which are very superficial and base? You have base knowledge.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:44

Gay, gay.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:45

So yeah, you obviously get a lot of mileage out of gay.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:48

Is there a specific thing you learned in ballet or or a habit you built in ballet that has translated super well to comedy?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:55

The thing, it's not even a habit, it's the unknowingness that you work every day at it, and it's built in. So, like you're a robot and the software is downloaded that every day you do this. And there's not even a thought that comes up like, oh, I wouldn't. It took me so long to stop doing ballet because the thought would never even arise to not do it today. And then it was like, I had that, and it was like everything shattered, and I was like, Oh, I have free will, I could not do this. That lack of free will to not, I've just completely applied to comedy.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:31

That's that's a huge one.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:33

I guess it's destructive patterns in that.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:36

Oh, of course, but like there's a lot of comics or any anything in life, like you you don't realize the consequences of stopping or like letting your foot off the gas.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:49

It doesn't feel relatable to me. I don't know what that feeling is. But a lot of people have it though. I see that, and it's it is like an alien thing. Yeah. Where I'm like, why would you not just keep going? Just keep going. Yeah, yeah. But that that is what gets downloaded. Because they didn't do ballet when they were a kid. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:04

It is there is subconsciously, you do know that like if you took two years off from ballet when you were younger, or if you skip practice, what doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:15

Taking two years off and then you you don't. You just don't. That'd be like you're retired. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:21

Um, but yes, it's a good habit to build.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:24

Uh yeah. I I think I think I try to have it serve me. I think I don't want it to be based out of fear of failure, where you're like, if I stop, I'll fail. I I want to have a better calibration because I don't want to do that at the detriment of like my family.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:39

Well, the positive way to look at it is they consistently and even even if it's just little steps every day, the consistency is what matters, I would think.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:48

I mentioned it earlier, but like, and I have no like confusion around around my comedy career. Like when I have a dry bar, I do some stuff. I don't think I'm a gigantic thing. I I preface what I'm saying with that. I mentioned earlier that like I've never taken a hiatus from comedy. Yes. And I think that specifically in in Spokane, that's specifically one of the reasons why I rose to the level I did in that scene, is because almost every other comedian took time off, sometimes voluntarily, sometimes because life stuff came up and or mental health stuff came up or whatever it was. And yeah, I mean, that that consistency and never taking a break is the reason I one of the reasons why I got up that way.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:28

Did you ever feel like I want a break, or did you feel like, no, this is my base setting? I just want to keep going.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:33

I've never wanted to take a break. Um, there are times where I get exhausted with going the open mics, or I get exhausted. I, you know, the calendars dry and I don't feel the motivation to get out there and build new stuff. But what I do when that strikes is I just shift my focus to okay, I don't feel like starting stuff, starting material from scratch. So I'm gonna spend for you know, until I feel the inspiration material-wise again, I'm gonna spend time punching stuff up, or I'm gonna spend time going through old tape to clip stuff out, or I'm gonna spend time. I mean, that's honestly that's where I am right now. I don't feel inspired by any new material.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:09

So, you know, keep writing and chipping away and putting premises down, but I'm just gonna focus on instead of going to four mics next week, I'm just gonna I'm gonna two of those nights I'm gonna stay in and just focus on clipping stuff up.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:20

So not no hiatus. I've never been had to take a hiatus, but I have shifted my focus to different aspects of a comedy thing. I'm gonna start filming videos in my car and seeing how that goes.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:31

Brother, I could not recommend it.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:32

You ever be a single guy in Nashville with the with the cup going in and you ever what's the yeah, yeah, what's the deal? Yeah, the hardest age to be a single man in Nashville is 34 years old.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:46

I'm telling you, it would do numbers.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:47

Yeah, I'm not dialed enough, I'm not dialed in enough online to know like what's working and what's not. I know it's not working.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:56

This was one that uh if you see a video that makes you mad because you would have been funnier. That is helpful. I could have done this better. I could have done this better. Where it's like, this bald guy did a million views talking about being bald, he doesn't even have jokes. Then you just take what he's doing and you make it better. No honor among thieves, just go for it. Because it'll be your jokes, it'll be you. There's certain things that stop the scroll on the format. Steal those. Got it. And just do it. All right. I think that works. Uh, the bonus round. The well, the first question of the bonus round is a movie that changed your life.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:35

Oh, the easy one. Easy one, Napoleon Dynamite.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:38

Oh, I like this. A cult classic. What about it changed your life?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:43

It came out when uh when I was in middle school, and it uh I went and saw it. I saw Napoleon Dynamite six times in theaters.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:51

Get out.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:52

I just fell in love with it. So it takes place in Idaho, so it's like some there's some Northwest stuff there.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:57

Yes, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:58

Um, it just defined a lot of my sense of humor or like introduced me to a lot of that or like reassured that sense of humor. I mean, it's so funny. It is, but it also taught me a lot about. I mean, that was a movie that was shot on a small budget and then got picked up and then made a billion dollars and was caught costumes and what like I mean, it just got massive. And so there was a lot to learn from the point dynamite about the filmmakers, like just believe in your thing and do and there was a certain time and space that made it really take off. Like, but but just do the thing and commit to the thing. That's right. And if it's great, it will be found.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:39

This is such a theme for this episode where you're basically realizing honor your taste and do it radically and authentically to the nth degree of your thing. And when it hits, it hits big.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:54

So nobody on paper would have said this is a blockbuster. But it the the taste of it, the the nuances of it, the genuine, like this is really hilarious stuff, but nobody would have given it a chance. Yeah, there's a there's almost a purism. The success of the of the niche or the success of the purism of that did speak to you. So I feel like just a I'm making a connection for the listeners.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:20

Go ahead. No, that's that's good. That was nice of you to do that for them. I try. I they wouldn't have figured that out themselves. I I that but it's one of those things too. I mean, yes, it was it was successful when it was all the stuff, and that that is what I said, but it also like even if I would have just loved that, then that's enough for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:37

That also clocks, yeah. It didn't, you're not even saying it changed your life because you saw it have success, it just changed your life because it spoke to you and you loved it.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:46

And the success did help as well. Yeah, of it was encouraged, and it's okay to be odd, yeah. And it's okay to be. I mean, it was like I mean, I wasn't putting it together at that time, but like that movie's rated PG or whatever, like it's clean and it's quirky and it's clever at times, and it's yeah, just yeah, without a without a doubt, that's a movie that changed my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:06

That's a great choice. Oh one quality that you would give. This could be to your kid, your grandkid, a niece, a nephew. Okay, any young soul in your life, one quality that if you could just download it into them, what would it be?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:23

Oh, interesting. I can just I just bestow this quality upon them. They just get it to make the world a better place. I was gonna say empathy, but I think empathy has too many drawbacks.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:35

You meet too much of an empathetic person, it's a complex thing to to deal with.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:42

I would go with um, I'm trying to think. I would go with dedication.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:49

Dedication.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:50

Yeah. Yeah, I think that that's so valuable in life. And if you're I mean it's for them specifically. Like I'm thinking of my nieces, if they just find the thing that they're into and they dedicate themselves to it. I'm I'm just trying to think of the the opposite of laziness. Yeah, no, that is dedication.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:06

Okay. Um well to feel energized to pursue something and to continue to recommit to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:14

Dedication to the people in their lives that they that's where are worthy of the dedication and the hobbies and the interests and the work and all that stuff. I think that if you're dedicated, I mean, we've been talking about it a little bit with the ballet and comedy and all that stuff. If you're truly dedicated to something, I think that that the sky's the limit of dedication. Now, if you're dedicated to something that's not worth your time, that's a different thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:35

That's hard.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:36

That's hard. Yeah. Um, yeah. Uh anyway, that's that's uh that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:40

I love that. That's a great one to get out on. Uh Ryan, where can we find you?

SPEAKER_04 1:19:44

Uh, you can find me on uh Instagram is where I've doing most of my stuff. Ryan double underscore McComb. Come follow me. Lovely uh there. Come see Drink and Debate on June 10th. If you if this comes out before then, if not, just follow Drink and Debate on uh on Instagram, and that's the best thing going right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:02

Nice. Yeah. Hey folks, Ryan McComb. That was a fun hang. That was great, man. It was great. It was wonderful. Where can people find you? What do you have coming up? Uh they know where to find me.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:10

Okay. All right. In his car, filming a video.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:13

In my car, yeah. At Judson Beach Comedy on Instagram. Follow Almust Funny on Instagram. We need more Instagram followers, people. So if you're watching it here, just give us uh give us a follow on Instagram. That'd be nice. Other than that, see you next time.