The Freedom Room Podcast | Charly

Charly talks honestly and openly with Rachel about her struggles with alcohol and the support from The Freedom Room. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hello and welcome to the Freedom Room podcast. This is episode number 15. We have been away for a while, but we are back and are going to do regular podcasts again. So today I've got Charlie with me who is going to talk a little bit about her story, what got her into recovery, hope, inspiration, you name it, Charlie's going to give it to us. So welcome Charlie. Hello, you picked me up a bit there. I think you're wonderful and you're going to do great. So can you share your story about how alcohol addiction has affected your life?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Yeah, um, I started drinking relatively young, um, so I'd say regularly at about 13. Um interesting, 13 is especially in the UK, that seems to be the number. Yeah, um, I actually started through playing sport completely randomly. So at the time. I know, I was playing a lot of hockey, hockey was like my thing, um, and I was quite good. So at 13 I was playing, you know, under 16s, under 18s, and ladies' teams. So I was always around older people, and after the games there was always a bar, and there was always someone who was happy to buy, you know, like one of us younger people a drink. Um, the problem was most of them were like 17 and I was 13. Um, so yeah, saying no was didn't even cross my mind to be honest. I was trying to fit in and and be one of the team. That's interesting. How old is your son? 14. Yeah. Yeah, kind of scary.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Yeah, to think that yeah, he might have been in that situation at 13 in a bar.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

And I wasn't hanging around street corners.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

No, that wasn't just yeah, playing sport in a bar, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

My parents weren't particularly worried, but um that was definitely where I had my first drinks. Um I think we were talking about earlier. I don't think I ever had one though. I think I think that first really from the first drink, I don't know if you can say I was born an alcoholic, but I was certainly, you know, there were people who had one. Yeah. And I never could. Um what was your first drink? My first drinks would have been so sort of alcohol pops had just popped onto the scene. So there was a lot of like hooch. Do you remember hooch? I do. Yeah, because it tastes like lemonade, but they're very bitter, but they were like lemonade and I know your WKDs and um yeah, those those sorts of things that just went down really easily when you're a kid. Um, so yeah, they were my first drinks. Um they I think I loved them because socially because I was young and hanging around older people, I was finding it a little bit difficult, where suddenly I was full of confidence and you know, funny and popular, and there was a lot of drinking games um that would go on at sport and hockey as well, and um I began got quite good at those. So socially I found it helped a lot. Um, I also worked out pretty quickly that I wasn't very good at dealing with emotions or anything at the time, um, and there was a few things going on in my life which I was struggling to deal with and hadn't really been taught how to deal with. Um, and I quickly found out that for alcohol I didn't have to. It was like my, you know, it was the answer to everything because I didn't have to sort of work out how to deal with those emotions, I didn't even have to feel them.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Yeah, so not only did it get you out there socially and feel that you were interacting and fitting in with everybody, it also pushed down and took away all the negatives. So, in your mind at that point, there was nothing but good, right? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

I felt like I'd found the answer to life, like I was like, you know, life's easy now, I thought it's got it sorted. So, yeah, so that was the start, and I carried on drinking on emotions forever, really. That was just then my go-to. Um, so I think that kept me very emotionally immature. I never kind of learnt to do I drank on everything happy, sad, every emotion you can possibly imagine. The answer was to have a drink because it made it easier.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

We stopped we stopped growing emotionally when we start drinking. Yeah. Um, because yeah, you know, a little bit of a yeah, something that felt hard or difficult, oh, reach for a drink. And it didn't matter whether it was a good emotion, bad emotion, an indifferent emotion, it was okay, let's drink on that, and then that's all we know what to do, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Yeah, absolutely. So, I mean, saying that though, and like we often talk in here, everyone's journey is really different until they remember their drinking, and some people can't remember anything good, and it was always bad. Mine wasn't always bad. I had a great time. Like a lot of the time I had a lot of fun drinking, it wasn't always terrible, there wasn't always big disasters, um, but it was always a part of my life from that age. It was always I was always a heavy drinker. It wasn't I wasn't always a daily drinker. I could, you know, I'd as I got older, I'd like at uni things, I'd go out and have a big night. I'd go too hard, but so would lots of other people. You know, I'd wake up in the morning and go, Oh my god, what did I do? But then I'd go a couple of weeks without drinking. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

And when we're that age, everybody is doing it, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah, it doesn't feel that it's something wrong because everybody around us are doing it. Yeah, it's when we then get older, we get married, we have children, and we realise that those people stopped, yeah, but we carry on. Exactly, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

We carry on doing the same thing over and over again, and everyone's saying we're not gonna do that again, and then we do exactly the same thing again. Um, so yeah, so it's always been there, it's always been my go-to on how to deal with anything. Um at some point it crossed over into something more, at some point it crossed over from something I really liked and used a lot to something I needed and couldn't do without. And it's really hard to pinpoint exactly when that was. Um I think it crept up probably a little bit. Um possibly during COVID, I think, because it certainly turned from I'd always been very social and it was always a really social thing for me. And then it sort of nearly turned the other way. I like didn't want to go out. Um and I think that was probably was because we couldn't for a little while during COVID, so I started drinking a lot at home. Um, and then I preferred to drink at home on my own than go out. And that's like looking back now, I'm like, I can't yeah, I it was such a social thing for such a long time, but at some point it changed. Um and I would because I was never that person out who was a nightmare. I was never the person that everyone's like, oh god, don't invite her, she'll do something stupid because I wouldn't. I was always very I don't know, I was always really aware of I suppose an embarrassment level. I was always really good at hiding how much I needed it. So as soon as people would start to slow down, I'd go home. So I could drink more without people knowing. So I'd get yeah, it's messy at home if you like, but no one would see it, see it otherwise. And then at some point it was just easier and quicker to just do that at home on your own and skip the going out part. Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

You don't have to even talk to anyone or yeah. I think um you and I have spoken before about um when I've said to my husband about having a drink, and he'll say, you know, oh nobody wants to drink on their own, do they? And it's like, don't they? That's the best guy, you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

I really don't get that statement, but that's the difference, isn't it, between someone who drinking is not a problem and yeah, exactly right. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

So what was the turning point for you? What was it that led you to get help? Was there anything in particular, or was it a build-up of realizing that it yeah, how how did it happen? What made you reach out?

SPEAKER_00 7:57

So I think um it was absolutely escalating. So I had been drinking every day probably for a couple of years. Um I was beginning to drink earlier in the day for longer, more, um and sort of really panicking if I couldn't, or you know, I didn't have alcohol in the house, or the bottle shop would closed and I'd missed the time, and like that was that was you know, I was spending a lot of time either drinking, thinking about drinking, being hung over, it was kind of suddenly everything. Yeah, it takes over your life.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Yeah, even if you're if you're not drinking it, you're thinking about it. And if you're not, you know, you're thinking about when you can have it, where you can have it, how you're gonna get it, you know, it just excludes you.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

It does, and you just don't have capacity for anything else or anyone else. You're not present, you know, you're there for your kids, you're there for your partner, but you're not present. Yeah, you're there, but you're just half, you know, when can the kids get to bed so I can drink? When can I? Um, and I was just trapped in this constant cycle of waking up every single morning, embarrassed, ashamed, full of regrets, self-loathing, you know, never gonna do this again. And by 11 o'clock, I'm already thinking about, oh, well, how am I gonna get you know another bottle on the way home? And oh, my husband's starting to to notice and make comments, and so you know, can I do it without him noticing? And um, and that's that's sort of your whole day, and then yeah, say starting. I have to get up quite early for work, so I was convincing myself that I was being sensible by starting drinking earlier in the day because then you know I could go to bed and wake up. I was just drinking for longer and drinking more. Um, so yeah, it was absolutely escalating, and I was so desperately unhappy. I was suddenly, there was no fun in it, I wasn't having fun drinking.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

But when when it stops being fun, yeah, I was just desperately unhappy.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Um, my mental health was declining massively. Um, I'd never been like particularly anxious or um you know depressed, or but I was absolutely in a really bad place, like to the point where just before I'd pass out, which was like every night, um, again, that's one of my things. I needed to sleep. Um I'm not sleeping, I'm passing out, waking up at three in the morning, like it, you know, we all know it doesn't do that. Um, but I would lay there, and there were multiple times where I would think about how I would kill myself.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Like before I'd pass out. Oh and I like had it. I never thought I was actually I didn't get close to doing it, but I certainly knew what I was gonna do if I did. Um and looking back now, I'm like, oh my god, how many red flags did I need? Um but I didn't tell anyone, I didn't tell anyone because I was just so embarrassed. Like I yeah, it just the to have got to that point, it was really hard to then again get out of it. Um but between Christmas and New Year last year, um my husband and kids went away for a week, um, which was really good and really bad. So it was really bad because I had absolutely zero accountability whatsoever. So I was just in such a bad place and I just drank and drank and drank. Um I started blacking out. I hadn't always been a blackout drinker, but I was towards the end.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Um and did you know the difference between before that happening, did you know the difference between passing out and blacking out?

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Um I'd seen people black out before. Um, it hadn't been something I'd done that often. I had on occasion, but not I you know, I sort of knew when I was getting to my limit and I'd kind of go to bed and pass out. Um, but I did start blacking out, and when they were all away, I did in the bathroom and hit my head on the bath, and I had no idea how long I was out for. But I know that when I woke up, I just it was just like a turning point. I just thought my husband and kids are gonna come home and they're gonna find me dead on this floor if I don't do something about it. Like that was that was what was going through my head. Um so yeah, so that's when I said that week's all very confusing that week because I've you know was just out of it a lot. But yeah, at some point during that week I found the Freedom Room and sent you a message. You did, I remember, yeah. Yeah, I do remember.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Um without going over that like too much, but the reality of that is really scary, isn't it? You know, that you hit your head and you knocked yourself out and you don't know how long you was out for or how long you was on the floor for, and absolutely um and no one knew, and no one knew, and that is um what happened um because you know I talk about I sighted the Freedom Room when I did because a friend of mine had died, and that's what happened to him. I mean, he had 10 years sobriety, he drank, he had a year sobriety, he drank, and then he went out drinking. Um he had some more sobriety, but then he drank again, um, and he slipped in the shower and he went through the glass panel, and because he lived alone, no one knew. Um, and that's and he laid there and died, and and the reality is that could have been you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

And that that that's absolutely and I think that's when I realised how serious it was.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Um and tell me um a little bit about like how you found the strength to actually give us a core well, send us a message, um to you know, because making that initial contact is it's really hard, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:39

Oh, it is, and to be honest, there's no way I would have called you. Okay if you hadn't had that form, okay, there's no way I would have been out strong enough to pick up that phone. Okay. Um glad on doing something. Yeah, so absolutely the form was one you know I could do because you know, click a button, you're done. You're done, yeah, you can't take it back. Yeah, absolutely. Um so yeah, so I think that that made it a little bit easier. I just I just knew how close I was to losing everything, you know, and I'm really lucky we hear stories of people who have lost everything before they you know get to the point of reaching out. Um and I I didn't. Um, you know, I had my house, my car, my job, and um I look back now and have no idea how sometimes to be honest, but um but I did, and I'm really absol you know so grateful for that. Um, but I just knew how close I was to losing all of that. And you know, like like everyone, I tried so many times um to stop drinking, um, but yeah, it never never stuck.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Because we we um the people in recovery are some of the strongest people that we know, right? Yeah, and if we put our mind to something and we want it to happen, we make it happen. It doesn't matter what it is, we make it happen. But when it comes to alcohol, we can't.

unknown 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

And but we keep trying and we keep trying while we're by ourselves, and and then we don't understand why we can't, because we can do anything, and it must mean that we're weak and that you know we're a failure, and and it isn't any of that, is it? It's just that we cannot do this on our own.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

Yeah, absolutely, and and like we're gonna say some of the that was one of the biggest challenges when I first came in was actually realizing all these really ingrained beliefs that I'd held about it being a weakness and about you know me just not being strong enough to stop drinking, and um, and yeah, that was sort of really changed my life when I could realise that that wasn't the case. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

But it it is that that keep people away for a while too. Yeah, you know they don't come and get that help because they think, well, I should be able to do this myself, I should be able to because I can do X, Y, and Z, so why can't I do this? Yeah, um, and it does keep people away um from getting the help sooner, you know? Absolutely, yeah, yeah. Um so how would you say recovery has changed your life so far?

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Everything in my life has got better, like with no exaggeration whatsoever, everything has got better and he's still getting better, like, and I know it's gonna keep getting better. Um, like I couldn't even have imagined seven months ago that I'd be as happy as I am now, that I'd actually like myself, um, that I'd be proud of some of the things I'm doing. Um, you know, these are just things that just I never ever thought I was gonna have again seven months ago. Um, so yeah, relationships with family, friends, every every area of my life, work, everything's got better.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

Oh, that's so good to hear. Um, what kind of support is it that you get from the Freedom Room?

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Um so well, one of one of the first things um that I really got a lot from when I got here and I wasn't really expecting was I thought I was just gonna walk in the door and it was gonna be a you know, you need to stop drinking. And I knew I needed to stop drinking. I tried to stop drinking, you know, there's a lot of stuff online that tells you to stop drinking, but nothing had ever told me how. Like I didn't know how, I didn't know where to start. Um, so to be given a, you know, literally step by step, this is what you need to do to stay sober, if you do these things, you will was just, yeah, my mind was blown a little bit. I'm like, yes, what are you talking about? But to be shown how to do it, um, yeah, was was really good because everyone in here's tried to stop on their own multiple times. Oh, absolutely. Um and just no one knows how to do it, so just telling people to stop isn't ever gonna work.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Um I know that's one thing um that I've realised over the years, like with um psychiatrists or psychologists, and they'll you know, they'll dig into drama and your trauma, and you know, they'll figure out whether you've got little tea or big tea, you know, a little bit of trauma, a big bit of trauma, um, and then they'll tell you this is why you drink, and it's like okay, and they leave it at that. They won't tell you then how not to drink, yeah, they'll just say, This is why you drink. Um, yep, great, thank you, but what do I do?

SPEAKER_00 18:17

And if anything, that's just giving you more to drink on.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Yeah, you know what I mean? There's more reason to drink. Yeah, oh my god, I've got all this. They don't then tell you what you need to do to um to make those changes.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

And that's the other thing was um I had no idea about any of the concepts like emotional sobriety and things like that. I just thought just not drinking was gonna be enough. Um, so yeah, that was that was huge to learn and made so much sense as to why just trying to stop drinking on my own hadn't ever worked. Um, because that's all I'd done was just try not to pick up a drink.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

And um, when we first come into recovery, in fairness, though, that's all we want, isn't it? Because we drink too much. I just want to not drink. Yeah, um, but just not drinking is not enough. Yeah, yeah. And then yeah, that's very quickly. So much more that we um have to do. What part of the program do you like the most that surprised you the most that you didn't think you were gonna enjoy, but then it's like, oh my god, that's amazing, or which bit did you yeah, which what bit do you prefer?

SPEAKER_00 19:28

I think all of it's got um at different times. So, like initially the one-on-ones were really important um to go through things like emotional sobriety and um show you how to stop drinking.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Because again, everybody is different, it is not one size fits all. You have to have those one to one.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Yeah, and that's right, it's personalised, it's to you, um, and they're less intimidating. Yeah. Because like, you know, it's just one-on-one, there's not a room full of people. Um, so I got out a lot out of those initially. Um, and the workshops are really just an extension of that, just sort of an intensive, you know, that you just learn so much. Um, and not only about the drinking, it's just how to live your life and how to deal with you know everyday things um in a much better way. Um, the meetings, I was very, very nervous about um the meetings because I had no idea what to expect.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

And um because everybody has a perception of what they think um an AA meeting is, yeah. And that's what they expect to be.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Absolutely. Um, so yeah, I was really nervous about those, but probably now get the most out of those than anything. Um, you know, to be the community is the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

To be surrounded by people who get yeah, like-minded people that it's um I remember referring to it as when I was growing up, I always felt like I was the black sheep of the family, you know. Um, and suddenly with all these people that come in and the community around me here, it's like all of the black sheeps are in here, we're all in one room together.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

But it is, and everyone in here without fail supports each other unconditionally, and the biggest part is they do that with no judgment, yeah, and that's really hard to find outside here because people can try and support you, and you know, lots of people do, but unless they've been there, it's really difficult for them to do that with no judgment.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

100% because they won't get it, they won't understand in their mind. There will still be the the why would you do that?

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Yeah, and unless you've been through it, you don't quite understand. So to have that, and then I guess the extension of the meetings really is the group chat as well. That was really helpful to me, especially in the beginning when it was really hard to kind of get through the first few weekends um without drinking, to be able to reach out any time, day or night. Someone's always on there, someone's always on there, someone's got insomnia, someone's up in the middle of the night, someone's on holiday somewhere the other side of the world, but someone you know without fail we'll get back to you and that was yeah massive to know that yeah people I barely knew were prepared to do that.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah that's right and everybody as you said it's it's real. It's they genuinely want to help. You know you suddenly become so important for them to help. Yeah. And there's no feeling like it you don't get that anywhere else do you?

SPEAKER_00 22:24

And I feel that now if someone you know don't get me wrong I still need help on occasion but as soon as you know I feel compelled to reply to someone as soon as they put something on just because I know what it feels like to know that someone's got you back and someone's there. Someone's there.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

To talk to you to help you to stop you picking up what advice would you give to somebody who is currently struggling with um alcohol addiction um look essentially you need help at the end of the day because I think a lot of people like me sat there and Google you know I think before you reach out for help lots of people go through the googling you know do I have a problem with alcohol?

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Do I drink too much?

SPEAKER_02 23:04

How many drinks is too much in a week at the end of the day if you're googling anything like that or you think you've got a problem with alcohol you've you've got a problem with alcohol you know what I mean it's not I actually had somebody ring me up once and said like how do I know if I'm an alcoholic and I've like the fact that you rang and asked me I said it's pretty much a good giveaway. It's not thoughts that other people it's it's just not non-alcoholics don't think am I an alcoholic yeah exactly and um yeah and I mean I guess the other thing is it is so so so hard to do it on your own if not impossible.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

I know for me it would have been impossible. You know maybe some people can but I think it must be really rare you know we often say in here that together we're stronger and it's just so true. Like it just makes all the difference.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

And um I'm not saying that it's totally impossible because I have seen it done but what I I can tell you is they're not really happy. They are what we refer to as like a dry drunk you know they don't have emotional sobriety because nothing's changed. All they've done is put the drink down yeah um and they haven't worked on themselves at all we actually had um somebody come come to us um he was 17 years sober when he came yeah and um it was like oh my god you know um and he'd read um an article that I'd written about emotional sobriety and he said I've suddenly realised what I'm missing and um he came in and done the programme.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Oh wow that's amazing yeah and when he left he was like oh my gosh you know this is so much different than what I had and yet all he'd done is stay away from a drink one day at a time for 17 years far out of do you know I yeah it really does that and hard so hard oh I can't imagine you know we know what it's like when we have a bad couple of days whoa can you imagine 17 years and um yeah to see the change in him was phenomenal yeah absolutely was um have you experienced any relapses at all since you started I have um relapses are hard relapses are not uncommon but they're hard um I was sober for six months after coming into the Freedom Room and I had a relapse maybe a month ago now um and look it's I did do the whole beating myself up thing and you know feeling awful about it um initially I'm so so pleased that I was part of the Freedom Room when it happened because it meant I had people to reach out to and to tell and get support from and if I hadn't had that I don't know that I could have stopped drinking. Okay. And that's a really scary thought but having that support there made it way easier. And what did that relapse look like for you? Look it just started initially as a glass of wine that a friend bought for me and I had a bit of a oh should I shouldn't I moment you know it'd been six months and I and I you know we call it the monkey around here that was just sitting on my back going oh you'll be alright just to have one. Maybe one will be fine. It wasn't that bad. Look how much work you've done. Yeah you're you haven't had a drink for six months surely you deserve one I think you're fixed so yeah so I I did um and it was just like a switch had been turned on I just was right back to the obsession to thinking about it all the time to wanting it all the time and within a couple of days that had escalated to a bottle of wine two bottles of wine bottle of vodka um yeah it escalated scarily quickly. In the space of what less than a week less than a week yeah absolutely so yeah I I wasn't in a great place about it initially but then I you know it was pointed out to me by people here and quickly realized that if I stayed in that place of you know hating myself and can't believe you've done this and you've undone all the work and you know all that that sort of negative head space I was just gonna pick up again.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Oh absolutely a hundred percent and you know you don't undo all that work it's you know you've still done all of that work and obviously it ideally it's would you know it's better if we don't pick up but what you've learnt by picking up um and you know we're all the same I can tell people you know this is what's gonna happen if you do and you know we don't believe people do we we don't believe it's like yeah well I'm gonna find out for myself maybe I'm different I'm different and there's that good old fashioned one yeah but I'm different yeah um and yeah if anything you know I should say thank you for proving my point yeah it is and that's like that's how I'm choosing to look at it now is I'm choosing to sit you know look at it as a a bit of a lesson and a reminder you know of how quickly things got bad.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Yeah okay um what are some of the things you're most grateful for in recovery um the you know I feel like I've had a second chance of life basically um and I know that sounds quite dramatic and but I do I literally feel like I'm redoing life reborn yeah I know I do and I don't I don't like it sounds a bit dramatic and I'm not saying it does and a new book and you get to write your own chapter. Yeah I mean I've got all my relationships are improved my relationship with my kids my relationship with my husband are just yeah way better than they've been for years. My self-esteem and self-worth um have I was gonna say come back I don't know if I've ever really had a lot but they're absolutely there now and I do um I'm healthier um definitely definitely healthier I feel you know much better in myself I've made really really genuine friends at the Freedom Room who I know will be friends for life because the friendship is just yeah it's based on truth and you know we're all so vulnerable in front of each other and we're so you know we we see a side of each other that not everyone gets to see yeah and that that is quite special. So yeah literally literally everything. Oh that's that's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

What are your goals and you know your future um what what are you what are you looking for now what are you what are you aiming for? What does that look like for you?

SPEAKER_00 29:52

I'm just just I'm just looking for like there's so much I'm looking forward to and you know six months ago I felt like I had nothing to look forward to and now you know I look forward to every day because I enjoy every day. Yeah everything is is great I'm still I'm still learning a lot so still lots more to learn and sort of finding myself I guess because I think when we're drinking we don't really know ourselves. No idea you know yeah and when we've drank for so long you know it's a really long time ago that I knew myself so yeah I'm still discovering lots about me which I'm really enjoying um discovering new things I like and hobbies and I've got with time on my hands now not to spend all of it drinking you know I'm finding lots lots of new things I like like doing um just basically becoming a better version of myself every day um you know I enjoy being able to help other people come through the Freedom Room you know particularly right at the beginning because that's the other thing we all know what it's like to walk in on that first day. And it's you know it takes a lot of guts to walk up those stairs on your first day. So yeah so yeah everything.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

And have you done um anything um in in sobriety that you know that you used to do when you were drinking but and still done it but been able to do it sober? Has anything surprised you that you've been able to do sober or have you just stayed away from everything?

SPEAKER_00 31:13

No it's like my social side's come back which is really bizarre because it used to only be like you know drink was a really big part of that but I do enjoy going out now which I wasn't at the end when I was drinking I said no I just wanted to stay at home. But now I do enjoy going out I do enjoy and you know I know that's not for everybody straight away to go to places you know where there is alcohol but um for me I've you know I've danced till two in the morning I've danced on bars in London so I'm all completely sober. Yeah um and I if anything I'm enjoying it more being out because you know I'm having conversations with people I'm reconnecting with friends that I haven't connected with in a really long time um I'm getting back to doing you know things like I always used to love being on the water and now I'm back to sort of you know paddleboarding and stuff because I can get out of bed in the mornings and yeah there's loads of things sort of do yeah doing everything I used to but better and enjoying more.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

Oh that's awesome is there any um misconceptions about alcohol addiction that um you'd like to address or talk about that you've realized um since becoming into recovery that yeah are not true things that you know um people's perceptions around oh look there is addiction there is a and I was as guilty as a lot of people the we you know we all have a stereotypical view of an alcoholic yeah um you know and it that is the old man who's homeless sitting on the park bench you know drinking out a paper bag um and it's just it's just not true.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

No it's absolutely not true. Addiction of any sort doesn't discriminate at all it doesn't matter you know how much money you've got sort of family you come from your upbringing your race religion age and the freedom room is just absolutely full of people who smash those stereotypes like you know that's sort of what we walk in expecting to see when we come in here and it's not we've got you know social workers teachers entrepreneurs successful business people it is not what you expect at all yet you know I was very guilty of thinking that's what I was going to find when I came in here and it's yeah it's something that really it would be really good to get the word out there more people to realise it's not a choice and it doesn't discriminate.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

No absolutely and there's there's nothing to be ashamed about it yeah it's just come on in eh yeah absolutely anything else that you'd like to share with our listeners yeah just just how grateful I am that I reached out and if anyone's thinking about it just do it.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

Just just as I say your life I promise you your life is can be better than you can even imagine at the moment. It's just however hopeless you're feeling however you know bad you think things are they can get better and we see it time and time again in the Freedom Room.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Yeah we do um as we have with you um so thank you ever so much for giving up your time today and uh sharing your story with us and for being a part of the Freedom Room you're very much a big part of the Freedom Room um now so um yeah thank you very much and uh yeah thank you for having me no worries thank you listeners and we'll catch you next week bye bye