The Freedom Room Podcast | How Do I Know I Have a Problem?

How do I know I have a problem? 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hi everyone and welcome to the Freedom Room podcast and we're up to episode eight today and we're talking about how do you know that you have a problem. So this is a question that gets asked a lot, and I'm sure you know a lot of you out there that is um listening probably have asked the same thing. For me, I had that question, and I would Google it late at night saying, How do I know I'm an alcoholic? Am I an alcoholic? You know, how many drinks is too much. So we all have that question. And um, I think Rachel, do you want to kick us off and talk about your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Yeah, so my thoughts on that is if you've come across the Freedom Room by Googling us, you've got a problem because people who don't have a problem with alcohol don't Google that stuff, you know. A normal drinker does not Google, am I an alcoholic? A normal drinker does not Google, how do I stop drinking? A normal um, a normal social drinker does not Google anything relating to alcohol. So if you have at any point put into Google or any search engine, um, do I have a problem with alcohol? You've answered your question. Yes, you have. Um, you know, if you think about alcohol all the time, if you are either thinking about alcohol, drinking alcohol, thinking about not drinking alcohol, thinking about when your next drink is going to be, thinking about your last drink, you know, um, all those things are giving you a clear indication that you have got a problem with alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

And do you think that that problem can be varied? You know, some people can be, you know, maybe a full-blown alcoholic, and some people might have a dependence. So that that problem with alcohol has kind of um needs a bit of definition. But I guess that the holistic concept of yes, you have a problem is just yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Well, I mean, some of the things that I've learned of late of different things that I've read and obviously since doing studies in this stuff, as well as just being an alkie, um, you know, anybody who drinks alcohol has got a problem, whether they drink one glass or whether they drink a hundred glass, anybody who wants to drink alcohol has a problem, you know, because alcohol at the end of the day, when you break it down, alcohol is just a poison, it's an addictive toxin. That's all it is, you know, that is um made to look attractive in attractive looking pretty bottles, um, um, and given a fancy name. Whereas, you know, if you broke that down and then said, you know, you can have this alcohol or you can have some cyanide, you know, um, and you will then argue and go, well, cyanide is gonna kill me, but so will alcohol, you know, and if you drink neat cyanide, you will die. If you neat drink neat alcohol, you will die. Um, if you watered down cyanide, you're not gonna die. You know, if you put lots of other pretty things in there and watered it down, you're not gonna die. You're gonna become very unwell, you're gonna become sick, just like you would when you drink alcohol that's been watered down. Now, if I was to say to you, Camilla, how about we nip out at the weekend and you know, have a cyanide and coke, you'd be like, fuck up your Muppet, you know what I mean? Um, but that's what we're talking about. That's exactly what alcohol is.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Because it's socially acceptable and it's been around forever and it's everywhere in the media, we think it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Because we have been programmed by the social medias, by our parents, by all of the conditions in that we've had since we've been growing up, that you cannot have fun without alcohol, you know, that alcohol is okay. You know, you don't see the big dangerous sign on it going, This is a killer, you know. Um, and yeah, you know, you know, yeah. I wonder whether I I'm thinking now about my drinking, you know, when I used to refer to myself as being a uh a functioning alcoholic, I wonder if we would say the same if you know I'm I'm a functioning heroin user or I'm a functioning um cyanide drinker. Yeah, it wouldn't exist, does it? It wouldn't, you know. And I'm pretty sure if um if they brought um alcohol to Dragon's Den these days, um it would get kicked out, you know, if you actually saw what alcohol really does. But I think I got a little bit um way-laid from their question.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

But I think you know, there's a good indicators of when you have a problem with drinking, you know, has it affected your family life? Has it affected your job? You know, have you, you know, gone into work late? Have you been hung over? Has someone said something to you about it? Are you not meeting your sort of life responsibilities?

SPEAKER_01 5:10

If somebody asks you about your drinking and is concerned about your drinking, you have a drink problem. Yeah, if you have become late for work, if you have, you know, taken time off work, if you have behaved irresponsibly, if you have had, you know, risky sex, if you've had, you know, if you've um gone somewhere where you shouldn't have gone all because of alcohol, you have a problem. Now, people go, yes, but I've only done it once or twice. Well, you may only have done it once or twice, but you did it once and you didn't learn, so you did it again. You have a problem with alcohol, you know, and like you said, there's a big scale there, you know, and and we all started as social drinkers, you know, who then became you know dependent, who then became, you know, um part of the alcoholism, you know, and then we become full-blown alchies. None of us, you and I didn't start full-blown alchies, as much as I will say that I was born an alcoholic, and I believe that I was, and I believe I've drank alcoholically, but I haven't, I didn't drink alcoholically in the sense of I was drinking 15 bottles at my first drink, but I was drinking alcoholically for my first drink because I knew I wanted another one and another one and another one for my first drink.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Yeah, and that and that's the other um sort of indicator, isn't it, that one's never enough. And then a lot of people can say, Well, I binge drink, so you know, I'm not drinking every day. But if you're binge drinking to blackout and you're putting yourself in situations that are really very dangerous, you know, that's considered problematic drinking for sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Yeah, absolutely. You know, um, blackout is messing up with the chemicals in your brain. That's a problem, you know. So that is problem drinking.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Yeah, and I think, you know, someone explained it to me once that, and I was just saying to you before, that when it becomes a necessity instead of a luxury. Yeah. And I really love that that's that's exactly. Like, you know, when you're going out with your friends, like how many times would someone say, I'm just not gonna drink tonight? Like it doesn't really often happen, but now in sobriety, you can see like, well, of course, it's so actually really fun to go out without having a drink under your belt.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

And that's the thing, it's our mindset, it's our mindset to tell ourselves that we can't have fun, we can't be, you know, we can't be the life and soul of the party. Yeah, I you know, I can't do X, Y, and Z unless I've got a drink. And that's just because that's what we're used to. It's just our mindset, that's all it is. Whereas we change that, you know, and we can go out and we say to ourselves before we go out, I'm gonna have a good night tonight. You know, people who don't drink, who go out of an evening and don't drink and say to themselves before they go out, well, tonight's gonna be really fucking boring, isn't it? Because they know that they're not drinking. Well, guess what? That night is gonna be really fucking boring because you've set your mindset, you know, you've got a fixed mindset that tonight's gonna be really boring. Whereas if actually you go out sober and you say to yourself, you know, I am gonna have the best time tonight, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna dance on the tables. I mean, I remember my hen night. Um, every single person, apart bar two people at my hen night, um, were all in um in recovery. Um, everyone, they were all sober apart from say two of them that did drink. Everybody else, you know, we were dancing on the tables, you know, we were kicking it high, you know. We had the best time because we had that mindset that we're gonna go out tonight, we are gonna have a ball. You know, have you ever faked being drunk on a night out? I have, it's great fun. I don't think I've done it. You should try that. Try some fake drunk dancing. Everybody thinks you're drunk, so that you know, you fit in really well. It's so funny, it is hilarious. I've done it a million times.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Um, and I I think the other good thing to to note to people as well is if you are worried, if you do think you might have a problem with drinking, you know, there are certain steps to take. You know, you can go and see your GP and explain to them about what's going on. You can reach out to services like the Freedom Room. Um, you can go and check out an AA meeting or another 12-step um program. There are lots of things that you can do, but the main thing that we would suggest is don't just sit on it.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yeah, do something.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

I know I sat on it for years and years and years of of being really drunk in the dark at night, just googling what can I do? How do I yep and sobbing and that's it, and we don't need to do that. Like there actually is a solution, there is a way out of having a problem with drinking. Um, and the other, the other side is like a freaking, you know, it's like the other side of the rainbow. Like it really is. It is, it is, it's it's a bridge.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

You just you cross from being, you know, um an alkie, a problem drinker, whatever you want to call it, and you cross that rainbow bridge over to sobriety. And you know, that that journey, the bridge, is hard, but it's hard. It's got walk when you walk up, you know, a bridge, it goes up and then it comes back down. And once you hit the middle, it's all it's all easy rolling down. And um, yeah. And don't forget on the front of our web page, our first web page, you know, do you there's the question, do you have a problem with alcohol? And then there's a link that you can click um and go and answer some questions. Um, but it's like we've said, you know, the biggest indicator here, if you have ever Googled um, do I have a problem with aren't with alcohol, then you've answered your own question.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Yeah. And look, you know, there are lots of people out there that if you want to have a further chat to, you can. Um, like we always say on the podcast, we're always available to talk to people. Um, the numbers on the website, so check it out. If you want to call us and chat more about it, we're always happy to talk to people.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Yeah, and the AA helpline, yeah. That's a great one. 1-300, double two, double two, double two. Yeah. And that's 24-7. We're not, we sleep.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Yeah. We have to sleep. Um, yeah, but look, you know, we we we really feel for people that are still in active addiction, and and that's why we do what we do is because we know how that feels and we don't want people to feel like they're alone. Um, but if you are thinking that you do have a problem, reach out, you know, you're worth um, you're worth fixing it, you're worth getting some help and and having a wonderful life.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Absolutely. You know, um, this is not a rehearsal, this is it, you know. Um, you don't get another, yeah, you know, you don't get another shot at it. And, you know, even though we get we reborn when we get sober, we don't go back to one, you know, we we get reborn at the age, we've still only got the same amount of years left. Um, yeah, you know, and we want to live life, we don't want to survive it, we want to live it. That's it. Um it's a beautiful life. It is a beautiful life, you know. Um, and when we just change our perception of what we think sobriety means, it uh it opens up a whole new world.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

It does. Well, thank you guys for joining us today, and um, please remember that there's help out there. Um, we're one of those services, so yeah, reach out if you'd like to chat to Rachel or myself, and we'll always be here for you. Um, so thank you so much for joining us today, and we'll catch you on our next episode. Have a great day. See ya. Bye, guys.