The Freedom Room Podcast | Alcoholics Anonymous

Talking about Alcoholics Anonymous 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hi everyone and welcome to the Freedom Room podcast. We're up to episode six. So welcome. It's you're here with Rachel and Camilla. Hi. And today we're talking about AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, our experience with it, and yeah, any sort of questions that we've been asked in the past, we're going to answer them. So, Rach, do you want to kick us off with AA and what it means to you?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Yeah, sure. So wow, I'm sure this is a topic both you and I can talk about for a very long time. So AA and what it means to me and what it means for um people that I speak to through the Freedom Room. So AA for me. Um when I first came out of rehab, um, obviously it was suggested that I would go to AA. Um, I didn't go to AA straight away. I didn't think that AA was for me. I'd been to AA in the past once, um, but um yeah, I just thought that I was different. I thought my recovery was different, I thought my alcohol was different, I just thought everything was different. Um, but my experience with it is actually um the treatment center got me sober. AA has kept me sober 100%. Um, and would I be where I am without AA? Absolutely not. No way, absolutely no, no, no, no. Um, would I have picked up a drink if I didn't go to AA regularly? Absolutely, I would have done. Um now AA for those of the those people who don't know too much about it. AA obviously was founded in 1935 by two guys, um, Bill Wilson and Bob Smith. And and obviously it hasn't changed very much since 1935. Um, and that is a downfall for some people. There's lots of traditions in place and they're very they're very strict. There's no you don't you can't, there's no changes, you know. Um it is what it is, and and in some respects that is wonderful. Um but times change, you know, and things need to change. And unfortunately, AA has not changed with the times. Um, but that's yeah, it may well do. Um, but for me, as I say, over the years that I've been there, I have, you know, I've played a really, really big role um in AA, and AA has played a very big role in in my life and my sobriety, and I, you know, absolutely not would be where I am today without AA. And um the what I got from AA was the steps and the the the steps, my sponsor, I got um dedication, I got discipline, um, I got all the things back that I didn't have before. Um, and if I didn't go to AA, I wouldn't even have known that all those things were missing. I wouldn't have known what I needed to do to continue to stay sober. Um, I learned about emotional sobriety in AA. Um, I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna tell them and talk about what AA isn't, because I don't think that's the right way to go down. There's certainly a lot of changes that I feel need to be changed in AA, but um that's not for that's not that's a whole nother episode, you know. I don't think that's for us to make that that decision and choice and talk about that. So with the Freedom Room, I 100% say to people, well, actually, the first thing when people come into the Freedom Room, the first thing I ask them is, Have you been to AA Alcoholics Anonymous? Um, and the answers I get is no, what's that? Or yes, never again, or um, I've heard of it but I've never tried it, you know, all of those things. Um, and I encourage each and every one of them to go to AA. Do I feel that doing a 12-week programme that we've got and then not going to AA is going to be beneficial? No, I don't think not going to AA is going to do them any good whatsoever. I feel that AA or something like AA. If AA is not for them, then find something that's similar. We have our own recovery meetings here, but they're only twice a week. AA is every single day, every hour, you can always find an AA meeting, and and that's the beauty of that. No matter where you are in your recovery, no matter where you are in the world, no matter what the bloody time is, there is an AA meeting happening somewhere, whether it be online or face-to-face. And that's the other good thing with AA that I would say that if you're not comfortable going to a meeting, if there's something that you're not happy about with those people in AA and stuff, go online. Go online. Um, you know, you don't have to go to the face-to-face meetings anymore. Um, but I promise everybody who is listening that um they will get something from AA, even if it is just that knowledge of knowing that there's a freaking lot of people out there suffering from the same thing. Yeah, that was good. Hey, um, yeah, so for me personally, and should if anybody should ever ask me, should I go to AA to continue my recovery absolutely bloody lutely? Um, and my voice and my thought process and um you know my um opinion on that will never change. Never, never never. Um, I have taken people from the Freedom Room to AA because I, yeah, it absolutely I yes, I stand by it a millionth percent that AA will help them. That like we said, there's a lot of things missing from AA, and that's what we're here for. But AA will also serve people so much, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

I totally agree. Yeah, and look, you know, there's for a lot of newcomers they say, oh, the God thing it's too much, or you know, some people uh you know say the same thing over and over again, and you hear lots of things like that. And it may be true, like maybe you know, the God thing is quite overpowering for some people, but the advice I got was take what you want and leave the rest. Absolutely, you don't have to agree with everything just to get the benefits out of AA. You know, I I mean, I think when I first came into recovery, I was a bit up myself. I went down to the Demountable at Spring Hill underneath Damascus, and that was my first AA meeting, and it smelt like mothballs, and it was disgusting, and everyone was old, and I was young, and I shouldn't have had to have been there. That's what I thought. But then as I listened to the people share, I was like, oh my god, they are just like me. I am just like them, and that I think has stuck for me is that it's the it's the common humanity, it's finding people that are just like me. Exactly. I'm not alone.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

That one thing in common. Everybody in AA, everybody in recovery, we all come from different walks of life, we all come from different backgrounds, we all come from you know so many different um areas and different upbringings and and different things, but that does not matter in recovery, nor does it matter in AA, because the only thing that you need in common is you're there to stop drinking.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Yeah, and that's and that's a wonderful thing about it. And people ask, or do I need to do this, do that, do I need to sign a membership? No, you just need to want to get sober. Yeah, you you just have that's the common thing that you have to just want to get sober or stay sober. And I think with a lot of people with the long-term sobriety, they will say to you, you know, most of them that they go to AA and that they're religious about it. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Oh, absolutely, you know, um, m myself included, you know, I still have to go to that meeting. And I and it doesn't matter, it does not matter what's going on in my life on that particular day. I have to still go to that meeting because um we have to keep ourselves, we have to keep well, we have to keep our oxygen tank, we have to keep our recovery tank, we have to keep it full, you know, and we also have to show people that there is hope.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

That's where we came from too, you know. Um, and with us here, 12 weeks, 12 weeks is a great the program that we do is an amazing program and it works, and it keeps them sober for those 12 weeks, and it's just awesome. But what happens after that? You know, yes, they can still come to our recovery meetings, but honestly, they need more. We all need more, you know, 12 weeks, three months is not long enough to get everything you need and never have to go to another recovery meeting ever again. No way, you know, and if you are willing to go, if you are willing to go to any length to get sober and stay sober, that includes going to AA. Now, nobody now actually I say no, that's not true. Some people love going to AA, you know, AA can still be a freaking chore, even for me, and I you know, some days I'd be like, I wanna go, but I'll go because I know I have to go, it's part of my recovery. I have to go, you know, I don't get all excited, yay!

SPEAKER_01 9:33

I'm going to an AA meeting. But what about for people that don't understand that? So I think and tell me if I'm I'm wrong, but when when you say um I go um to keep myself sober, you know, it's that you get reminded. So if you've got long-term sobriety and you need to go to an AA meeting, it's to remember that your your next drunk is only one drink away.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

I was um so, as you know, and a lot of people do know, but um, I used to and only yesterday left um the central service office of Alcoholics Anonymous that I work for um for almost five years. And yesterday I heard that somebody after they called up on the helpline, she was 12 years sober and she busted. And that is why I go to AA because I need to be reminded that at almost 10 years of sobriety, I can pick up a drink tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Yeah, and it's that easy, and and you know, in in AA they say that it's cunning, it's baffling, and it's powerful, this disease, and it is dead right. That's exactly what it is. But when you have, you know, what they say when you get to AA is get a home group, get a sponsor, and work the steps. Those three things. And if you've got a home group, you've got a posse of people that's got your back. Yeah, you are, you know, there's a safety net for that. If you've got a sponsor, that's that one person in your life. Don't even get me started on my sponsor because I'll start crying, which is Rachel. Um, but that person is your go-to person. You can tell absolutely anything to, and they won't judge you, they will love you.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

You and I, as yeah, you know, obviously me being your sponsor and stuff, but you and I both know how that feels. And unless you've got it, nobody understands that that feeling that you have for your sponsor, how that feels, that love, that respect, that I can feel it in my stomach as we talk about it. Um, you know, my Laura, as everybody hears me say, my Laura, and uh, you know, yeah, without that sponsor, oh, you know, um, life is gonna fall apart. You know, we need that person to go to. You know, Laura knows more about me than my husband. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Well, you definitely know more about me than anybody else in the world because as alcoholics, we tend to lie a lot, we tend to omit a lot of details, yes, and but with your sponsor, that's a person you can be safe with and share everything with. It's the most amazing. And the only bit of advice I would give is, and from the the small bit that I know, is that don't just say yes to anybody, pick that sponsor because that's like a marriage with somebody, you know, and that's an important person in your life.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

You need to be the person picking the sponsor. The the sponsor should not pick you. If somebody comes up to you and says, Right, I'll sponsor you, just be wary about that. Maybe yes, be grateful for that very short period of time that there's gonna somebody have your back, but don't keep that person as your sponsor. Um, you need to listen in a meeting and sit there and go, I want what that person's got, because everybody has different recovery. I want what that person's got, and you walk over them and you get on your one knee and you say, Will you marry me? At least that's exactly what it feels like, doesn't it? But you go and you walk over and you say, Will you sponsor me? And unless there's a real, genuinely good reason why that person is gonna say yes, because all any of us want in AA is to help that newcomer that walks through the door.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

That's it. And look, it is a really special place, and there are personalities as there is everywhere in life that you're not gonna gel with, but it's no reason Wasn't the personalities at the pub that we didn't gel with?

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Did it stop us drinking? No. What did we do? We found a different pub. So if you don't like the AA meeting that you're going to, or you don't like the people, don't quit AA, just go to another meeting.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Absolutely. And the other thing that I sort of didn't know for a long time about AA was you know what it actually stands for, you know, recovery, recovery, unity, and service. And I think service is a really um important part of AA too. It's not just about going to the meetings, it's actually about giving back. And if that's making a cup of tea or bringing the biscuits to a meeting or opening the meeting and putting the chairs out to the other side, I've just started, as you know, my um one of my service positions is to go to Brisbane Women's Correctional Facility and take an AA meeting to the women's prison. And that is phenomenal. Like that is that is a great, I think feel like that's a privilege of a service to be able to do, but it's not thinking of ourselves all the time, it's thinking about other people. And as alkies, we can think about ourselves till the cows come home. Oh, can't we just? So it's nice to get off self and onto others, and and that's a great way to focus yourself. But you know, if if you're not sure whether it's right for you, just give it a go. Yeah, you'll never know unless you try it, and you know, you'll meet some wonderful people there too. You know, I've got some beautiful friends and some some lovely people in AA, and it's not like the movies, it's not, it's really some are some meetings, maybe, but you know, it is a really special place, and um, so you know, from from my side of things, I would always encourage people to go to AA. Um, and it's that maintenance and that, you know, again, like I said, a safety net that we all need.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

And I think that that's the word, that's the word that um I've been looking for. It's maintenance. AA is maintenance, you need it for maintenance. That I like that, right? Yeah, yeah. Why did I not thought of that word? There we go. There we go. That is why we're a good team.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Um, and the last thing I'll say is that um for me is that you know that that your recovery will go through different phases, and that's a great thing about AA is that it will roll with those different phases, staying away from the first drink, and then you you know, you're moving into off self and onto others, yeah, and then you move into emotional sobriety, and that is a whole nother ball game, which is just uh you know, it's a lifetime of growth and development, yeah, which is fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

And I think the other thing that people need to know is that you know, be open-minded when you go to AA because you know, AA is is um built on just alcoholics, there are no professionals in AA, there is nobody running the show, there is no hierarchy in AA. So sometimes they can go to these meetings, um, sometimes expect too much, um, but you know, also expecting that it's gonna be run by you know counselors and and all of that, and and it isn't. These um these meetings are run just by alcoholics who are willing to volunteer their time because everything in AA, you know, when you go to a meeting, there's nobody getting paid to help you there at that meeting, it's all voluntary, you know. Um, yeah, so just give it a go. Just give it a go. What what have you got to lose?

SPEAKER_01 16:39

You know, and if you're looking to find a meeting near you, um you can head to the AA website. Um, and for people that are interested, there's also Narcotics Anonymous NA. There's also a lot of other 12-step um fellowships and Al Anon as well.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Um yeah, I mean, yeah, Al Anon is definitely one. We we um we'll we'll speak more about that another day. Yeah, yeah. Um, but um, yeah, I mean, there is a anonymous for everything. Um, processed foods. Did you know there's one for processed foods? There's processed foods anonymous, yeah. It's a thing, yeah. Um, but um yeah, it's just um yeah, I just I I'm I'm lost for words when I think about what AA has done for me. And and I know that we we know that there's a lot of things that AA is missing, um, and you know it isn't for everybody, but it will definitely always be there when you need something because there's always at any given time of the day. Now, the other thing you were talking about with the website, the the good thing that as well that people need to know that if you go into the main um Australian website, click on meetings, there's also a button that you can press for online meetings up next. So you click that and it will always tell you the meeting that's about to start, and there's always one starting in five minutes. Doesn't have to because you don't have to go to the one down the road, you can go to one anywhere in Australia, yeah, you know. Um, so that is very good. And then, you know, if you're worried, you don't have to worry about bumping into anybody, you know, and it's just good to have that around you. It's always good to have around you.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

And again, you know, if you guys want to talk to us in more detail, pick up the phone. Um, the numbers on the website and on our um social media pages as well. And we're always happy to have a chat and help you through it. Also, there is an AA helpline.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

So you know 1-300 double two double two double two.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

There you go. Well, um, that's all from us today. If there's anything else from you, Rach. No, that's all good. All right. Well, thanks for joining us, and we look forward to having you with us next time. Thanks. See ya. Take care, everyone.