The Freedom Room Podcast | Caroline

The Freedom Room interviewed Caroline from the UK! Listen to her story and how she got sober.

Thanks to Caroline for this honest and open interview.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

How long have you been sober for now?

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Five years now, in April. Just gone.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Awesome. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Thank you very much. Such a nice feeling.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Bet. And um, did you go to rehab or how did what's your sober journey?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Um, well, I'd got a friend that was had been to rehab. Um, obviously, I recognised myself that I was running into problems. Um, I recognised it quite years before, really, but you know, didn't do anything about it. And then yeah, when I I sort of turned to her one night after sort of hitting my rock bottom. And then um, yeah, and on the Monday, I think that was on the Thursday, and then on the Monday went to AA, and that was it from then, never touched a drop since.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

And so um, do you think you would say that AA is the thing that really assisted you the most?

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Yeah, definitely. I think it I think it definitely opened my eyes. Um, it was quite a strange feeling walking into my first AA group because I walked in and all I saw was you know, alcoholics. And it was really, really strange because I don't quite know what an alcoholic's supposed to look like, but that's all I could see when I walked in. Um, and it scared me, but because I had, you know, a good friend that was supporting me, it really helped me through it. Definitely. I think support's definitely the key to it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

So just having that person that was there for you, sort of helping you along, because you know, did you find with AA there was a lot to take in and understand as someone that was nearly sober?

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah, definitely. And there's definitely things that are said that you don't get then, but as time goes on in sobriety, you definitely get as definitely get it, definitely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

And do you think, I mean, a lot of the questions that we get at the Freedom Room is, you know, how do I know that I'm an alcoholic? So what what would be the thing that um you went, okay, yeah, this is this is how I I know I've got a problem here?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Uh I think for me, um, there was definitely things I was getting to the stage where, you know, I was wetting myself and things like that. And what was happening, it was I could hide it at home, but it was starting to follow me out of the house. And I think that's what frightened me more than anything is that it was really starting to show. Um, and I had been able to hide it for a very long time.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Yeah, and then it comes out into the open, and then you know, things start happening that probably wouldn't, you know, it wouldn't happen if we weren't drinking, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

No, exactly that, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Um, and another one, another question that we get a lot about um AA is do you do you think that it helps, or did you feel like you had to believe in God to be a part of AA?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

No, not at all, definitely not. I know God's mentioned a lot. I understand that why now, um, you know, because that's people's what they turn to, and it's kind of, yeah, and I do have belief myself, but no, I followed my own journey and listened to what I needed to listen to for what you know affected me really.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Um, and another thing is, you know, is there is there other outside help that you look to to support other than AA as well, like counselling or anything like that?

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Um no, I think AA did it for me. I was I was you know quite lucky that AA was a good thing for me. And although, you know, I I I'm sort of in and out of it now because I'm five years on, I do, I do help others. I've always sort of got that helping hand towards others, and that helps me. Um and by telling my story constantly is a reminder of why I don't drink today.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Okay. Um, and what do you think, you know, for people that are in their early sobriety, what would be um, you know, if people said, well, what is AA to you? You know, um, what would you say to them? Is it something that you can come in? Are there steps you need to take once you walk in the doors of AA?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Oh, I think I think having the support alone and it's being with people that totally understand how you feel because trying to find that over the years, nobody understands how you feel about you know your drinking problem. So having that, I know that I could walk in any AA group, and you know, the people are absolutely amazing. I mean, I live in England and you know, there's there's groups here, and I've also come to Australia and gone to groups there, and everybody is so lovely with the same support.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

That's so amazing, isn't it, that you can kind of be the other sides of the world, but still have the same kind of acceptance and and understanding.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Yeah, definitely. And we're all the same, at the end of the day, we're all the same people, you know, and that's it. And I like I say, I've gone halfway across the world to, you know, go to the same AA groups and it's exactly the same. We're all in the same boat.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

I think that's a beautiful thing, actually. You know, there's a lot of a lot of solace in that, isn't it? And uh comfort you can get.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Yeah, definitely, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Um, and what do you think for people? Um, you know, we did you tell a lot of people that this is what was going on and this is my journey, um, you know, in your life, like work colleagues and family and stuff like that. Did you sort of, I guess, you know, come out as being in sobriety?

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Yeah, I think um I think once I'd made up my mind, which I did, it was the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders by sharing it with somebody else. And, you know, a lot of us can understand how that feels. Um, and it is a heavy weight that you carry around. So, yeah, I I mean I turned to sort of like my mum and sister first, my closest, and just said to them, Look, this is what I'm doing. My mum did ask me actually and said, was I scared to tell her? And I said, No, because it's this is about me and not about you. Um, and although she didn't mean it like that, I knew it was my journey. Um, and it's something that I had to do on my own because it I was the only person that could stop drinking. Um yeah, and as time went on, um, I sort of told, I told my close friends, but some friends, I actually told them that I was dieting and that's what I'd given up alcohol. Um, and the funny thing is, because I turned to sugar afterwards, I put on a load of weight. So obviously the diet wasn't working, that I wasn't drinking. But yeah, I think sharing it is so important. And I give that advice to other people that you know, tell your friends, tell your friends that you're struggling with it because it's such a massive thing. And once you've done that, you're then admitting it to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah, absolutely. And do you think it's um the the sort of the key to that sharing side of things is that brutal honesty that you're actually telling the absolute truth to people?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Yes, because being truthful is such a massive uh part of sobriety as well. Um, you know, I know there's bridges that I've had to cross uh of telling people the truth, um, but I feel so much better for it because it can also come with an apology. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Um and so sorry, I've just got a little bit. That's all right.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Hi.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

This is another Harrison.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

How is it? Hi Harrison. Yes, yeah Harrison Harrison who say hi.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

A bit shy. All right, you run out to bed, mommy will beat up uh soon. Okay, off you go. See you later.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Bless him.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

I know I've got a big smudge on my glasses. Um all right, so what is your um your daily program? You know, when they're you know you're in AA, are there things that you suggest to people in early sobriety to do on a daily basis to help them? Um God, you know, like the whole meditation and the whole prayer, or you know, is though do you find those things helpful?

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah, I mean, I I I'm sort of I love crafting and that's what I turn to. Um, I definitely kept myself busy. Um, definitely. And it is, it's all about getting past 24 hours, isn't it? It's you can't look at the first month, the first six months or a year, it's all about 24 hours. But although I'm five years on, it's still 24 hours, and it always will be. Um, and that's the advice that anyone that, you know, sort of turns to me, I that's the advice that I give them, is just it's just 24 hours, you know. And if they do fail at that time, that's fine, pick yourself up, get through the next 24 hours.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

And um, I can't remember where I heard it, but I loved when someone said that in that 24 hours, you can restart that 24 hours at any time. So, you know, if you're having one of those days where you've gone, I haven't done it's just not going the way I want, you just reset in that moment, and that's your next 24 hours.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And just call keep talking about it. Just just keep talking about it, and that is so, so important because it is the biggest weight off your shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, and getting a sponsor, working the steps, those types of things when people are in AA.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Yeah, yes. I I mean I haven't done the steps myself because um, you know, it was all over the place and work-wise, but I mean, I do feel confident enough myself, but then you know, different people have different issues, and I I think mine was addressed quite early, really.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yep. And um just lastly, you know, what what would you say if someone was watching this video now who was thinking about stopping? You know, what do you see? Um, you know, some people think I I can't see my life without drinking. You know, how is it going to be fun? How is it gonna be good? You know, have you found that in sobriety it's actually better than what you thought it would be?

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Oh wow, definitely. Yes, definitely. It's like having a clearer head is so much easier. And it's like little things meant so much to me. On a, you know, on a Sunday, my mum would ring me saying, um, you coming over for dinner, and it'd be a no because I'm going to the pub. Or no, I'm staying in, knowing that I'm going to the pub. But now I can actually pop to see my friends um because I feel confident in that area, and I can go and see my mum because I'm sober and I can get in a car and I can drive it and I don't feel guilty. But yeah, it's just clear-headed, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Amazing. Thank you so much. And it's um, you know, it's it's awesome to have someone that is so far away, but you know, it's it's all the same stuff because it's the same problem that we face, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Oh gosh, yeah. We're all in it together, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

I love it. Thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome, definitely. Yeah.