Stop Convincing, Start Owning

Are you constantly overexplaining your worth or discounting your prices just to get a "yes"? 

In this episode, we dive into why operating from scarcity holds you back and how shifting to an abundance mindset helps you stand firm in your unique value.

  • 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆: Why lowering your price sends a message of low worth.
  • 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝘀 𝗘𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲: How the way you pitch reveals what you truly believe about yourself.
  • 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗛𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗘𝗱𝗴𝗲: Standing out in a world of AI by leading with your unique personality.
  • 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗙𝗶𝘁: Shifting your goal from getting a "yes" to deciding if they are the right fit for you.

Where in your life or business do you need to stop explaining and start owning? Let us know in the comments below! 👇



If this episode empowered you, please like, share, and subscribe!  
Book a clarity call with us today via the link in our bio. 

  STAY INTENTIONAL, BE HONEST, AND CHOOSE BOLD CLARITY.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If you work in any sort of sales environment, if you're an entrepreneur, if what you do on a daily basis requires you to get buy-in from some other person, whether it be in the form of money or time, um, this is going to be a really important conversation. Welcome back to Bold Clarity, where we slow the noise, tell the truth, and make room for the people that we are becoming. I know it's been a while. I am so excited to be back and into the swing of things, back to doing these episodes and getting into my routine again. And I'm especially excited about the discussion that we're gonna have today. So this season has been all about aligning your actions to the person that you want to become, so that with every single day and every decision that you make, you are casting a vote for who you want to be. We've talked through what that looks like in terms of a morning routine. We've talked through what that looks like in terms of using the bold day method and a calendar to plan out your day so that you can keep a close eye on how you're spending your time and what you're doing to make sure that it's setting you up to be the person that you want to be and that you deserve to be. And so for today, this topic is a hot one. And I think it's probably one of the more uncomfortable conversations. So I don't know about you, and yet sometimes I know when I'm creeping up to that conversation where I want to get someone's commitment to work with me, I want to get them to use my services, I get nervous, okay? Sometimes so much so that it's hard for me to even be present in the conversation that's taking place because I'm just sitting there anticipating and have this like impending doom about when we get to the discussion around the commitment and the price. I know some of us may overthink it, we may explain it too much, we may even discount ourselves and our services, all in the name of getting people to work with us. And today we are going to be talking about how to have conversations where you are discussing your value and you get people's commitment in a way that exudes confidence and that shows your worth and your value. Um, and so I am really excited to get into this. So we are going to gain our confidence in telling our value so that we can make sure that we are working with the right people and ultimately aligning our actions and our businesses to the people that we want to be. I want to be clear though, this is not just for somebody who is in a traditional sales role. Any environment where you are talking about an offering and you want to get somebody to commit to you or to commit to your service, this is something that's so important, right? I can even think of in personal relationships. Um, it's about standing firm in who you are and what you're offering and having the conversation be evidence of the value that you know that you hold. So let's go ahead and get into it. We are going to take time to get clear on what our value is, right? So that we don't have to do all the convincing and the discounting and the over-explaining that a lot of times can be really detrimental to who we are and you know what business we're we're working in. And while I am going to be speaking from my personal experience, which is gonna be based in real estate, this is something that you can apply, like I said, to so many different areas of your life. And so how you communicate your value is an action that provides evidence for what you really believe. And we spent so much time in season one getting clear on who we are, and we're having these conversations about the action that aligns to that. And this communication piece is overlooked and so important when you think about aligning your actions. So the first point, your communication is your evidence. Asia, what the heck are you talking about? How you communicate your value. So the pricing conversation, the pitch, all of that is evidence of what you really believe about your value and what you're offering. And I want to make it's important for us to all make sure that our communication is something that shows that we truly believe in our value and we know exactly what that value is. And so we might have a tendency to discount, to overexplain. Um, and if you're like me, even to shrink yourselves right in these moments. And what is so important is for you to take the time beforehand to be so clear on your value that you can communicate it and you can do that with confidence without questioning or second guessing or negotiating what your value is. Um, and so I have a lovely story here, and again, this is real estate-based. So I can remember a few years back, um, I was fairly new to the listing side of the business. And for those of y'all that don't know, uh, listing is a little different than working with buyers, right? When you're working with sellers, because you kind of have like one shot. You go in there, you do your listing presentation, you talk to them, and the goal is to get their commitment so that you can go ahead and start the process of, you know, working to get their home on the market and to get it sold. It's different than with a buyer because you have multiple at bats, right? You have multiple times where you are having conversations with them, you're doing multiple showings, um, and they're getting something, they're not selling something that holds a lot of value and is really important to them. Um, and you can imagine I was pretty nervous when I had my first listing appointments. I think I mentioned earlier that I told my team leader at the time, oh my gosh, what if they asked me how many houses I've sold, right? So already I just had these thoughts of, do I really have value? I haven't home, I haven't sold enough homes. Like, what if they don't trust me? Right. And and all of that was evidence that I ultimately didn't trust myself. And so in this particular instance, um, there was a home that was in a neighborhood kind of on the outskirts of Fort Worth. And ironically, I actually had an active listing in that very same neighborhood. Um, and if you're not from Texas, you you may not know, but neighborhoods in Texas are known to have like a wide range of home um sizes and prices and and such. And so the home that I had on the market at the time was I I don't know, maybe in the mid-fours or something. And this particular home, they were hoping to list it for closer to seven or eight hundred thousand. Now, at this point in my career, I work with buyers to purchase purchase homes of that value, right? And I'd successfully gotten homes listed and sold at lower price points than what they were wanted. But I I could do it. Looking back, I had the skills, I had the knowledge, I had the resources. And yet I washed into this listing appointment, I did my normal spiel and really took the time to sit down and get to know them and who they were all the while. I knew that they had another agent that they were interviewing. And so in the back of my head, I was just thinking about, oh my gosh, okay, when we get to this conversation about commission, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna get these people to work with me? What am I gonna offer that's different? And they were very forthcoming and let me know that the other agent that they'd interviewed had sent over um like this really fancy kind of introduction box and um had had experience selling homes at that price point. And so I was nervous and I just didn't truly believe to my core that I could do a better job than the other realtor. And so we got to the conversation at the end where I was closing them, which if you're not in sales, that's when you're getting the commitment. Um, and so I was so nervous about what I was going to say that I could convince these people to work with me. Um, and when they mentioned this other agent um and said that they wanted to kind of take time to think about it, I said, okay, well, you know, like commission's flexible. You know, I'm actually, you know what, I'm willing to like give you guys a discount. Like we can, I'll I we can do a lower commission, right? Um, we'll still make sure the buy side gets their full commission and we can do a lower one. And in that moment in my head, I was thinking, okay, this discount is going to cause them to want to work with me. What I really was saying to them is, I don't think that I am worth the full commission that we had discussed, right? I was literally with my words telling them that I was not worthy of that amount. Fast forward, I did not get that listing. Um, and what I thought was going to cause them to want to work with me ultimately was the thing that sent a message that I wasn't worthy and I wasn't valuable and caused them to go with the other person. And I did talk to them and they said, you know, hey, he's got more experience, and so this is why we're gonna go with him. And that was a shocking moment, right? Because I was thinking, well, this is gonna save you money and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When when ultimately I skipped over what was really true, which was that these people were looking for somebody who was going to provide excellent service. And they weren't worried about the cost. They were worried about is somebody gonna come in and be able to do this job and help me to achieve my goal? And I sent them a message that I was not that person by discounting my services. And I think the the sentiment behind the discounting, behind the over-explaining ultimately comes from a place of lack, right? It comes from a place of um of limit and of you really not knowing your value. Now, fast forward today, I know my value, right? I know the service that I offer to my real estate clients, to my coaching clients, and I'm so confident in that that I can say what I do, I can tell you what I offer, and I'm okay with somebody making a decision to work with me or to not work with me based on what is true, which is here is my value, right? Um, and so whatever area of your life this this might be applicable to, I think it's important for you to make sure that you know exactly what your value is, and that you don't just haphazardly discount or overthink to the point that you end up actually kind of sending yourself backwards. And so my communication in that scenario was evidence that my value, or at least what I perceived my value to be, was not very high. Um and so going to the mindset piece of that, right, of coming from a place of lack or or scarcity versus coming from a place of abundance, what I realized is when you come from a place of scarcity, that's when you feel like you have to convince. Versus when you come from a place of abundance and clarity, then you're offering your services and you let it hang, right? And as comfortable as that may be, the energy behind that causes you to have a much different conversation and send a much different message to the people that you're working with. Um, so scarcity will cause you to drop a price. It will cause you to overexplain. It will cause you to avoid the conversation about the commitment. It will cause you to chase, it will cause you to defend, and you will be so caught up in just grabbing for things that you'll look up and realize, oh shoot, I'm not even grabbing the things that are really aligned to the type of service or the type of person I want to be. I'm grabbing things because I'm scared about if I'm gonna have enough. That's totally different than when you come from a place of abundance where you state it, you can stand still and stand firm and what you offer and what commitment you ask for in return. And you are okay with letting them choose. I don't have to convince you to work with me. I can tell you what I'm doing and you can make a decision on whether or not you want to work with me, right? And here's another lesson that I actually have had this conversation with a few of my coaching clients. It is not your job to assume what somebody will or will not pay or how they will or will not commit. Um, that's the customer's decision to make. That's the client's decision to make. And so when you come from that place of scarcity, you're anticipating what terms is gonna cause this person to say yes, right? Versus you coming from a place of abundance and saying, here is what I do. And for the people who see that value, they're gonna have no problem committing to me in whatever way I'm asking them to commit, right? Be it time or finances. And so all of us can do a better job of not trying to anticipate what is going to cause somebody to say yes or no in terms of changing what your value is. And then this is another scary piece, but like you're not for everyone, right? I know sitting here today, founder of Bold Clarity, having a coaching business, I know that not everybody is going to be a good fit for my coaching. I know that not everybody is going to benefit from my coaching. Asia Pate, the realtor, I know that there are people out there where I'm not the best realtor for them. I know that the way that I work and I know that the things that are most important to me are not going to be aligned to everybody. And so because I know that is true, my job is never to convince somebody that they should work with me. My job is to be so clear about what my unique value is that somebody can make a very clear decision and feel confident in that decision because they know what value I'm bringing. Okay. So I'm not gonna water myself down and change my offering, change my price, change the commitment that I'm asking for with the hopes of attracting more people. Because then I'm gonna attract the wrong people, right? It's a shift from trying to get the yes from someone to trying to determine if you are a good fit in and having them make a choice. And that is monumental. Um the next thing that the the next point I want to discuss, which is so I think relevant right now, and I'm gonna be honest, I still have moments where these little seeds of doubt kind of come up, right? But um, especially looking at all the technology that we have in AI, a lot of us think, oh my gosh, but my value was the information I had access to. My value was the task that I could do. And now with resources that can do those tasks for you, or the fact that more people have access to information, it's easy to then say, well, what is my value, right? The good news is this is a perfect opportunity for you to be so clear on your value because it's not the tasks, it's not the information, right? Your value is unique to you, and and taking the time to really figure out what that looks like for yourself is so important. Um, thinking about this in in real life in a conversation, right? I have um some coaching clients who were having conversations to get new business, right? And both of them are in real estate, and so they're they're agents and they they're wanting to get clients. And um, you know, right now it's a little bit of a tough market for agents because we've we've been able to rely on other things as our value. And the narrative around buying or selling a house is is different right now. And so you're coming against these challenges, and it's so easy to then doubt yourself and think, what the heck do I bring to this? What am I bringing to this transaction? What am I bringing to this family that wants to move, right? That they can't go and get from AI. Um, and I'm kind of glad that we are experiencing this because it's gonna cause people to get super in tune with who they are and what their value is. And I think that's going to transform how business is done just in general. I think it's gonna become a lot more personal. Um, nonetheless, I'm having conversations with these agents and you know, I can tell that they're really not clear on their value, right? Um, and I, of course, let them talk and and I asked both of them the questions of like, well, what what is your value? Like, what is it that you're really bringing? And I think in the conversations, they'd talked about um, you know, setting people up on a search in the MLS. Um, they talked about what was the other one? They talked about setting up a search on an MLS, um, they talked about giving them information about the value of their property, right? Um, doing CMAs. And these are people who were not clients yet, meaning they had not committed. These were just customers. And I pushed back and I said, why are you going to give that first? Why is that what you're leading with? I want you to take a step back and I want you to think, what makes you you? What is it that you are bringing to the table that no technology can do? Right. And in both of these conversations, we landed at like, I like to help people, right? Which that's why most people get into real estate. Um, I was like, okay, cool, but like, but like really, how do you like to help people? Like, what does that really look like? And so I had these in-depth conversations, and one of them landed at, you know, the fact that she's a connector and she loves networking and and meeting new people and connecting this person with that person for this goal and so on and so forth. Um, and the other one landed at this desire to help elderly people when it comes to like selling their homes and buying, right? Um, and for the connector, her life, if you look at it, you can tell she's well connected. And that's because that's a value that is important to her. And she loves talking to people and getting to know them. For the other one, when you look at their life, uh, this person is um has an elderly mom who's a widow, right? And um, she is she was the middle child, her older brother passed, and she's the oldest. Um, she's a fully grown adult, by the way. Um, and she has taken on responsibility of caring for her mom and and helping out other members of her family, right? And then when you look at the real estate that she's done, she's done quite a bit with people who are elderly, um, who are wanting to get out of their home to downsize or move into a nursing facility or whatever. And so for those two people, it was clear as day to me what their value was because I've gotten to know them. And what was also clear is that that is not what they were leading with, right? That's not what they were basing their conversations in when it came to why you should work with me. And so the shift in the light bulb that goes off when somebody can say, Oh, yes, you know what? I am a connector. And beyond this real estate transaction, I can connect you with somebody who can help you with your business, or somebody who can help your sibling, right? Or I can make sure that somebody who maybe is lonely, right? Maybe they've experienced tragedy, I can help them feel loved and comforted and cared for during this. That is the value that you communicate. That is the value that you lead with because that is unique to you, right? And so when you communicate that value and you get to a conversation where you're getting someone's commitment and in real estate, right? This could be getting them to sign an agreement with you, to say, hey, you're my agent. It could be a conversation about, hey, this is what I charge. Like it is what it is, right? When you get to that point and you've clearly communicated your value, honestly, the commitment part, the price part, becomes secondary because you've already communicated and shown somebody what they're going to get with working with you. And if that is aligned to something that is important to them, they're not going to care about the price. They're not going to care about the commitment. They're going to feel inspired and they're going to feel excited that you're going to be able to help them achieve their goal in the way that they want to. And so that is going to be the driving force behind them saying, yes, this is a good fit. And guess what? For the people who say no, or for the people who say, I don't know, that's okay because they may not be people where it's a good fit, right? They may not be people where how you're going to need them to show up as a client or customer is going to align to what they're going to actually do. And so when you set up the conversation with a high level of clarity in your value, and you go back to that value again and again, that's when you really can figure out who to work with, right? And really it's it's on the other person to figure out as well, do they want to work with you? And they're going to know that when you clearly communicate it. I wanna I want to remind everyone listening that while these examples are related to real estate, there are so many areas in your life where you may be having a conversation about who you are, right? And you may want somebody to commit to you in some way, and you're telling them what services you offer or whatever the case may be. And it is a game changer when you have a high, high level of clarity around your value because that is going to be exuded in your communication, and that is going to be the evidence that causes people to decide yay or nay. And the confidence that comes with that allows you to stop trying to convince people to work with you or stop trying to convince people to be your friend, right? This could apply anywhere because you know who you are, you know what you do, and you clearly and confidently exude that with your communication. So my challenge to everyone is to ask yourself, what area of my life am I explaining? Am I overthinking? Am I discounting when I really could be owning? I'm gonna say that again. What area of your life are you explaining, discounting, even avoiding when you really should be owning, owning who you are, owning your value and communicating that clearly. If this resonated with you and you felt like, wow, I'm walking away powered up and ready to know my value so I can communicate my value. Please like, share, subscribe, send it to a friend, right? Maybe you've got somebody who you think is gonna benefit from hearing this. And if you're interested in us working together, book a clarity call so we can talk through what that might be able to look like. And y'all, as always, stay intentional, be honest, and choose bold clarity.