The Rake's Progress - Chapter 21

The Regency Rake is often a handsome and virile gentleman, who is fashionable dressed or in uniform. Our dear Jane Austen included many character examples of this type, and we fell in love with them until we understood the truth of their behaviour. They often had money and often linked to a prestigious title, but not always, so you know that our Rake is no different in

My Rake’s Progress 

Written by Miss Louisa Ayling.

It’s the 1812 Season, Matthias finds himself crossing paths with Horatia, after trying to avoid her over the last few years, he  now realises the error of his ways as he cannot hide his feelings for her. Then, the temptation of a Waltz with her makes himself recognise that he had put him in a very vulnerable position. Can he just walk away or will she be the one taking those steps? 

Horatia discovers that Matthias is continually sharing a variety of women in his bed, and their own ones too, just to try and forget her, so he says. He now believed that Horatia is the only one he would eventually marry and relieve this lack of fulfillment, but he realises that she is awaiting her fiance’s return, so even the various entertainments, even the salacious ones did not calm this raging need, and Matthias could not push this from his mind and body.

Captain Sherrington, although injured during the siege of Badajoz, continued to inform Horatia of his wish to return to England as soon as possible, so that they could marry, as he loved her so very much and missed her so much.

Let’s see what Chapter 21 leads to!

Transcript

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The Regency Rake is often a handsome and virile gentleman, who is fashionable dressed or in uniform. Our dear Jane Austen included many character examples of this type, and we fell in love with them until we understood the truth of their behavior. They often had money and often linked to a prestigious title, but not always, so you know that our rake is no different. In my rake's progress. Written by Miss Louisa Ailing. It's the 1812 season, Matthias finds himself crossing paths with Horatia. After trying to avoid her over the last few years, he now realizes the error of his ways as he cannot hide his feelings for her. Then, the temptation of a waltz with her makes him recognize that he had put him in a very vulnerable position. Can he just walk away or will she be the one taking those steps? Horatia discovers that Matthias is continually sharing a variety of women in his bed, and their own ones too, just to try and forget her, so he says. He now believed that Horatia is the only one he would eventually marry and relieve this lack of fulfillment, but he realizes that she is awaiting her fiancé's return, so even the various entertainments, even the salacious ones did not calm this raging need, and Matthias could not push this from his mind and body. Captain Sherrington, although injured during the Siege of Badajos, continued to inform Horatia of his wish to return to England as soon as possible, so that they could marry, as he loved her so very much and missed her so much. So, let's see what chapter 21 leads to. 11 April 1812. Creswell Soare. Later that evening at the Creswell Soire, Melissa pulled Horatia apart from their group and wandered into the quiet of the hallway. Well, how are you, Horatia? You do not seem yourself this evening. Has Temple been giving you unwanted attention? No. Horatia snapped. Took a deep breath. Sorry, Melissa, my nerves feel taught like a bowstring this evening. She looked down at her hand, twisting her reticule strings, I. I don't know what it is. These last few evenings I have been having the most disturbing dreams. Justin is there, but he is floating upwards and fading into the clouds. Temple is standing there with a wide grin on his face. Nothing is said. It's just strange. That sounds like a nightmare more than a dream. Yes, it leaves a disquieting feeling behind, then I cannot sleep. That sounds very disturbing. Have you heard from your fiance? Yes, he writes weekly, but they often arrive as two or three letters at a time. I received one today, but it was over three weeks old. Well, I'm sure he is well and recovered from his injuries now. I do hope so. Their tete tete had come to an end, as they were interrupted by Sir Harvey, who was being followed by Temple. My dearest, my waltz. You promised, Melissa darling. Why, of course, Sir Harvey. She placed her hand on the sleeve he proffered, glanced at Horatia to ensure she was alright, then once she was happy, she strolled to the dance floor. Matthias just stood there, looking a little nervous. Miss Stanweek, would you do me the honor of a waltz? Horatia went to decline, but Matthias had such a hopeful look in his eyes, almost pleading, that she felt she could not refuse. Why? Yes, thank you, my lord. Matthias escorted her onto the floor, she felt him tremble slightly under her hand, she looked up at him, and she could see he kept glancing at her, watching for her reaction. They were soon spinning around the ballroom. Horatia had to admit that she did enjoy waltzing with Temple, they were always synchronized, but he pulled her far closer than was normal, and he took a deep breath. Hmm. Gardenia? He whispered in her ear. Beautiful. Horatia quickly turned her head and his lips touched cheek, making her eyes widen. Sorry, I could not resist. His voice, almost a quiet growl. You tempt me so much. I want you, Horatia, I always have, since the first time I saw you at the Chesterton Soiree and your pink confection. He just looked into her eyes, trying to read her mind. Yes, I know. But, you are a rake, my lord. You have wanted many women before and since then, but I am well aware there are many more I do not know of. She hissed quietly. But, that's because of you, Horatia, because I could not take your innocence without marriage. Am I that apparent to you that being married to me would be so offensive? No, my dearest Horatia, I am not ready to wed, I'm still growing as a man, I have very little to recommend me. At his words, Horatia was starting to bubble up inside, and worked to stifle her anger, and her words sounded sharp and clipped, although almost a whisper. So, you're saying that you are not able to recommend yourself, as a Viscount, who is in line to inherit a dukedom. My lord, I do not believe you. You wanted to remain unattached so that you could continue your profligate ways. You cannot bamboozle me with your words, Lord Templeton. As Horatia spoke, the tempo of the music changed to a flourishing end. They performed the courtesies, and Horatia, with a ramrod straight back, swiftly walked away from him, leaving him standing watching her retreating form, sighing with a deep dissatisfaction. He left the soiree not long afterwards. 23 April 1812 Stanwyck House, Mayfair. Sitting on the window seat in her bedchamber, a book opened on her lap that was left unread. She still kept hitting this feeling of disquiet, an unease that she could not understand. Her mother kept saying it was bridal nerves, but she was not so sure. It disturbed her in a way she didn't understand. A knock on the door heralded Peggy. Excuse, miss, but there's a few letters for you. Horatia looked up and plastered a smile on her face. Thank you, Peggy. And her ladyship asked if you were coming down to break your fast. Yes, tell her after I read these, please, Peggy. Yes, miss. Peggy left Horatia looking through the three letters and read them in date order. She opened each one and smiled at his words, laughed at his jokes, and missed him even more. The third letter was a little different. His writing was not the same firm hand, she broke the seal and was shocked to hear he had been injured again, but he was still looking forward to coming home to marry her, so she mopped her eyes and folded the letter and placed all three in the red-ribboned pile in her desk and ran downstairs with a fixed smile to have breakfast in the morning room with her mother. Still that feeling of unease clouded her mind. It was time for afternoon visitors, and Horatia sat with her mother in the large blue drawing room. Horatia stopped slouching, sit up straight. You may be engaged, but you are still on show as the future Mrs. Sherrington. Yes, Mama. Heston knocked the door and closed it behind him and came over to Horatia. Miss Stanweek, you have two visitors, and they wish to speak to you privately without any interruptions. Who are they, Heston? Lady Stanweek interrupted. The Earl and Countess of Ashburton, my lady. That's Captain Sherrington's parents, is it not? Yes, Mama. Show them to the Rose drawing room, and we'll be there in a minute. She instructed Heston, then turned to Horatia. They obviously wish to discuss the wedding, Horatia. They'll probably want to meet with your father soon to discuss the settlements. Lady Stanweek stated, then stood and started to the door. Let's not keep them waiting. Horatia followed, but that feeling of dread increased, making her feel nauseous. Heston opened the door and Lady Stanweek swept into the room where the visitors stood. My lord, my lady, such an honor to see you both. Her mother gushed. Horatia entered more slowly and took in the scene before her. Lady Sherrington, she noted, was dressed in black with a handkerchief clutched in her hand. Their eyes met, hers were red-rimmed, and Horatia swallowed nervously, she knew instantly and started to shake. Oh God! No! She cried out and crumpled to the floor. Lord Sherrington was the first to move, and knelt down beside her distraught body. Miss Stanweek, my dear, please let me help you to a chair. I know how distressing this is. Come. He gently eased her to her trembling limbs, and looked at the tears in her hazel eyes, that looked back at him full of pain. Her voice quivered as she spoke. Tell me I'm wrong. Justin is not dead. They've made a mistake, my lord. He helped her sit and crouched down, taking her hands in his. I'm sorry, Miss Stanweek, I do not have good news, I'm afraid. He died on the 8th of April, and we only just had the news this morning. It came with the dispatches from Wellington. I knew something was wrong, I have felt it for weeks but was unsure of the reason. Now I know. He was trying to tell me in my dreams, but I still cannot believe it. If only he had come home as they originally said, he would be here now. Horatia broke down again. Her mother just stood there, seemingly unmoved, and when she spoke it seemed so out of place. Well, Horatia, I suppose you'll be in mourning now, so we will need to get you dressed appropriately. Mama! Stop speaking! Horatia roared. Leave us, please. Lady Stanweek looked most put out. That is hardly the way to speak to your mother in front of such esteemed guests. She swiveled on her heel. If you'll excuse me, I know when I'm not wanted. Good day, my lord, my lady, she said as she stormed out of the room. I apologize for my mother, she can behave inappropriately at times. It is quite alright, Miss Stanweek, we all react differently to differing situations, but I'm pleased that we are now alone and can now speak to you directly. His lordship stated. Miss Stanweek, I do believe you are forgiven, under the circumstances. Lady Sherrington spoke for the first time, taking the seat closest to Horatia. My son wrote so proudly of the fact he had met you and was so looking forward to making you his wife, I can only be so disappointed that I have lost not only a son but a new daughter too. That made Horatia burst into tears again. I have missed him so much, I cannot believe that I will never see him again. I just feel numb at the moment. That's the shock, my dear. That will pass. Lord Sherrington stated. We have received his personal things. Lord Wellington kindly had them sent from Spain. It included a personal letter that he had written for you back when he was recovering earlier in the year. He took the letter from inside his coat and handed it to her. I suggest you read it in the privacy of your room, Miss Stanwyek. She took the letter with trembling fingers. There is something I would like to tell you. When we last saw Justin, it was just before he left for Spain. We saw him down in Portsmouth before he sailed. I have never seen him so happy, and so sad at the same time. So very happy that he'd found you, and that you had accepted his offer of marriage, he had never met anyone he was so eager to make his wife. Lady Sherrington reached out to slip a ringlet of hair that had slid out of her torter's shell comb. He was sad that he had to serve out in Spain again, after meeting you. He said how much it had pained to leave you here, but knew it was not a place for a new bride, so did not wish to marry you before his return. I think he loved you very much, Miss Stanwyek. The Earl and Countess sat talking with Horatia for another half an hour before they left. They informed her they would let her know the dates of a memorial service and when the will was to be read. Horatia had said she would attend the memorial service but was probably not required to attend the will reading, but Justin's parents insisted. The rest of the day was a blur for Horatia, she stayed in her room, ate very little, her appetite having left her. She just sat and cried for two days, then stopped and just sat there in a daze. She didn't want to see or speak to anyone, she just wanted to be left alone. She eventually remembered the letter his parents had discovered in his returned effects, broke the seal and read it, although her vision was blurred. My dearest darling Horatia. If you are reading this, I know that you have heard of my death. Writing this is one of the most painful letters I have ever had to write, but I must write it for you, my love. You have been the brightest star in my life. I love you so much, I love you with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for you. I would have even died for you, but instead I have died for my country. I had never considered marriage before I met you, my darling, the instance I saw you, then got to know you, even for that brief time in Bath, I knew you were special. Just your presence lit up the room. You captured my attention, then my heart, and that you were going to be mine. You were the right fit for me in every way. I so wanted to make love to you, my beautiful innocent girl. I loved the feel of your kiss and I wanted to worship you for the rest of our lives together. The thought of us at our wedding, with you to become my wife, was the one beacon that has been keeping me going through my time out in the peninsula. Coming home to you, my darling. Now that has been taken away from us both. It is breaking my heart that I have left you, unwed. I do not wish for you to grieve for too long, it is not good for you, and that you deserve to be happy. I want you to promise me that you will find someone else to love who loves you in return, just as I do, even though writing these words is causing me such pain. I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. I would live for you to be happy. Please promise me you will follow my last request. My parents will visit you once they have read of my demise, as I have instructed them to. They will have brought my letter for you, for you to read in private. They will have requested your presence at the reading of my will, which is my wish. Please keep well, my sweetheart, remember I will be watching over you, and my love for you will continue forever. Always remember that I love you, my dearest, sweetest Horatia. Do not forget me, as I will never forget you, as you carry my heart into eternity. From your ever-loving fiancé. Justin. Captain Sherrington of the Third Dragoon Guards. Horatia just sat there. She couldn't move, she had cried throughout the letter, and read it twice. She felt completely exhausted and numb, that her life had come to an end, that there was no tomorrow, just this incredible emptiness. Just sorrow sitting heavily on her bruised heart. She received a notification from the Earl about the memorial service arrangements a day later, and that they would send a carriage to pick her up. Melissa had been to see her and decided she would accompany her, as she did not wish her mother to attend and couldn't go on her own. The service was formal and many people from the town attended. Justin was given a hero's service at St. George's Church, although his body would lay out in some distant land forever, along with thousands of other fallen heroes, never to return home, which Horatia felt upsetting about in itself. Horatia tried hard to continue to hold herself together, she thought she'd cried her tears dry, but still they trickled slowly down her cheeks. Melissa had been so supportive during this period, and it made it all the more difficult to realize she would have to sit through her friend's wedding in just over a month's time, whilst she was in mourning. She wasn't sure if she could face it, and didn't want to embarrass Melissa. At the will reading, Horatia was shocked to find that he'd left her an annuity, that was hers throughout her lifetime of £1,000 per annum. Horatia felt she could not accept it, but his parents insisted as it was their son's greatest wish. There was also a small cottage in Kent and jewellery that he had purchased for her to wear on their wedding day. Horatia was overwhelmed with it all, but had to accept that it was her dearest Justin's dearest wishes, because he loved her so very much. She was going to miss him. 30 April 1812 Templeton House. Sitting in the drawing room in the suite of his rooms, he was slumped in a chair with a glass of Scotch whiskey held loosely in his hand, after his return from another visit to the White Rooms. With the death of Horatia's fiancée, it meant that he had a second chance to win her over, but he was still not ready to marry. She would be in mourning for a while, so this would be advantageous, as it means she will be out of full circulation for a while. He was trying to come to terms with this opportunity to keep her for himself, so needed to put the pressure back on the gentlemen of the ton to keep them away, but in more places than just London. His preference for his pee hen became even more apparent when he was in her company earlier in the month, to waltz with her was a big mistake. He had been avoiding her, and was pleased that his occupation with the home office had taken him out of the country during most of the last few seasons, she had him yearning for her again ever since that one evening. In fact, if he really thought about it, he'd never stop lusting after her, but he knew he could never act on it, as he respected far too much for that. Frustrated with his situation, he realized he was still only six and twenty, he still had life to live before being leg-shackled. His father advised him to enjoy life whilst he was young, think to marry when you reach two and thirty and avoid leaving a scattering of little temples strewn across the country. He had been following his father's advice to the letter, and would continue to do so. He was focused on ensuring he followed his father's advice as he wanted his prize at the end when he reached the marrying age. He would make sure that she would be waiting for him whatever it took. Why did he feel like that about her? He was not someone who believed in what the poets termed as love. He didn't know what love was, lust he knew everything about, and that must be what he felt for her, nothing more. But a strong, possessive lust that he never felt for any other prospective lover. His only worry was that once he possessed her, his lust for her might wane, and he would then continue his life without fulfillment, which made him consider tasting the goods before he decides to marry her. Would he dare insult her by taking her innocence? Maybe her fiancee had already done so. He took a large gulp of his whiskey as he continued to mull over the quandary and what route he was going to take.