Your Symptoms Make Sense When You Understand Cortisol And Safety

Stress is not just “in your head” during perimenopause, and the way it suddenly shows up is not a personal failure. We talk about why so many capable, driven women hit midlife and feel blindsided by stubborn weight gain, low energy, mood swings, and sleep problems, even when they are doing all the “right” things.

We break down the biology in plain English: as the ovaries gradually step back from their long-time role in reproductive hormone production, the body relies more on adrenal pathways. If your adrenal glands are already taxed from years of chronic stress, that handoff can feel like a battle inside your body. We also connect that to cortisol patterns, including why cortisol should be higher in the morning and lower at night, and how common habits can disrupt that rhythm.

From there, we zoom out to what actually helps: nervous system regulation, creating a sense of safety, and shifting away from stress-based solutions like under-eating, over-exercising, too much caffeine, and too little sleep. We also address the noise in the health and wellness world and why one-size-fits-all protocols do not work, then share how we start with foundations like sleep, stress, blood sugar regulation, gut health, and personalised testing so your plan fits your body and your life.

If you are tired of guessing and ready for real clarity, listen now, share this with a friend who needs it, and subscribe so you do not miss what comes next. After you listen, what symptom do you most want help decoding?

Connect with Amy Wilford on social media at @amywilfordhealth, or on her website at wholebodyharmonycoach.com

Connect with Heather Fontenot on social media at @embodiedrejuvenation, or on her website at embodiedrejuvenation.com

Transcript

Welcome And The Body Drama Shift

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Body Drama Shift, where we move from confusion to clarity without guessing. Because your body isn't broken, it's communicating. If you're a woman in midlife dealing with stubborn weight, low energy, mood swings, or poor sleep, you're not imagining it and you're not alone. I'm Amy, creator of Whole Body Harmony.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

And I'm Heather, creator of Embodied Rejuvenation. Together we help you decode your symptoms by addressing both biology and the nervous system. Because real change happens when both are in alignment. Let's shift.

Why Stress Spikes In Perimenopause

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Welcome to episode six of the body drama shift. Last episode, we talked about what perimenopause is and why women often feel blindsided by it. Today we're talking about one of my favorite topics because it helps explain so much of what women experience: stress. Amy, why do you think stress becomes such a big issue during perimenopause?

SPEAKER_00 1:06

That is a great question. So it's often because most women don't arrive at perimenopause fresh and rested. I know I can relate to that. I was definitely not fresh and rested when perimenopause began. What woman is at that age, right? So we arrive at perimenopause exhausted. We've spent decades taking care of everyone else: careers, kids, parents, spouses, communities, businesses. I'm sure you can add a few more to that. And then perimenopause asks our bodies to do something new.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

This is the part that blew my mind when I first learned it.

Ovaries Step Back Adrenals Overload

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Can you explain what's happening with the ovaries and the adrenal glands?

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Absolutely. So this is where things get a little bit sciencey. And I'm going to simplify some very complex biology. But here's the basic idea. So during our reproductive years, the ovaries are doing much of the heavy lifting when it comes to reproductive hormone production. That's why we can get pregnant. That's why most people can. I know there are some who struggle to get pregnant or aren't able to, but that's the purpose of our reproductive ears. Years of the ovaries are doing much of the work. And as we move through perimenopause, our ovaries gradually begin stepping back from that role. And that is that slow moving cruise ship that I mentioned in the last episode. So as we're doing that, our body also becomes increasingly reliant on hormone precursors that are produced through the adrenal pathway. So here's the problem: the adrenal glands are already exhausted. We hear about cortisol being off, and that's one of the things I test for in my practice. So your adrenal glands are already taxed to the max. They've already done so much. They've been carrying the stress load for years. So it's kind of like the ovaries walk into the room and they're like, hey, we're thinking about retirement. And the adrenal glands are like, uh-uh, no, that is not happening. We're already working double shifts over here. We're not taking your work too. But the ovaries are like, no, I really think I want you to take this. And so there's kind of this battle between the ovaries and the adrenal glands. That's exactly what it sounds like a battle. Yeah, it truly is. They're fighting with each other. And so that's part of where all those symptoms come from is that battle between the two. And so that's why women often feel like stress suddenly hits differently. The things that they used to be able to handle that didn't stress them out, all of a sudden stress them out. And again, going back to that feeling of what's wrong with me? Why could I handle this back in my 30s and all of a sudden I can't? How did I manage two toddlers at the same time and a career? And now I don't even have toddlers anymore and I'm struggling. It's not because you're weak, it's because those systems involved are already taxed. So think about all the work that your adrenal gland have done basically your entire life. And now your ovaries want them to do more.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

This is where I spend a lot of time with women.

Nervous System Reserves Run Out

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Can you explain why nervous system regulation matters so much during perimenopause?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah, because you've been borrowing on your reserves for years. And your nervous system has just kicked into gear and done what it's supposed to do. But now it's having a harder time keeping up because of all the biological changes that are going into your body, on in your body. And so because you've been borrowing from reserves for years, your nervous system is going to take a hit. And we also, this goes back to our conversation about hustle. We've normalized exhaustion, we've normalized overwhelm, and we've normalized pushing through. That's just what we do. But perimenopause then just exposes what was already there. And our bodies just can't compensate the way that it used to. And suddenly those coping strategies that worked for decades stop working.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

And would you say it's okay to say this that we don't have to enter this phase that way?

unknown 5:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

If we're doing nervous system work before.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah. And we're not saying that going through this phase can be easy. It's always going to be a challenge. But if we put the right supports in place, it can go way smoother. And that five to ten years can go way smoother than if you don't do anything at all.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's important to name. Because we do hear horror stories, right? Um, so I think that it's important to name that there is there is a way that you can support yourself and move through this with maybe for lack of better words, ease.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

I'd say ease and grace. Yeah. And I think that a lot of women think we're gonna tell you you have to do something more. Navigating perimenopause isn't about doing more. It's actually about doing less. And it's about doing things in a different way, which we will touch on in other episodes for sure.

Eat Less Exercise More Backfires

SPEAKER_01 6:20

So let's talk about the advice women often get eat less, exercise more. Why does that often backfire?

SPEAKER_00 6:29

So that fires because most women are trying to solve a stress problem by creating more stress. Okay. And I was guilty of this too. I used to wake up at five o'clock in the morning and I would say that that was my stress relief. Getting up and working out in the morning, that was my stress relief. When really what I was doing was I was putting more stress on my body. So when we undereat, we put stress on the body. When we over-exercise, we put stress on the body. When we drink more caffeine, we put stress on the body. When we sleep less, we put stress on the body. So all of those things are really a bad combination for us. And it actually makes us feel worse. In addition, we often gain weight and we think the solution is eating less and moving more, like we've been taught in the past, because that's what worked in the past. But our bodies need something different now. And it goes back to our whole conversation about safety. When we under eat, overexercise, pump the caffeine in our body like it's an IV, and we sleep less, we are actually causing our body to feel less safe. And when our body feels unsafe, it holds on to everything it can that it thinks will make it feel safe. And so the body interprets all of that stress and lack as like lack of safety, like I just said. And we have to reprogram those thoughts to create a new program that does provide safety, especially during perimenopause. Because sometimes the body needs support, nourishment, recovery, and regulation, not more pressure. Again, like we talked about with letting go of the hustle mentality in a previous episode. Letting go of that helps your body to feel safe.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

And I want to think too, like, Amy, those those patterns are deeply engraved in our brains, in our, you know, they're they're grooves. I like to call them grooves. Like we've they're well-worn paths. So um it is hard to shift the path, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:40

To choose the real path. I should say, and like we talked about in another episode as well, like that change in identity. Yes. Like my identity is I get up at five o'clock in the morning and I work out. That's what I do. That's part of my life, it's what I do. And that's not my mentality anymore, but it used to be. That was my identity, like that's what I do. And if I don't do that, then who am I and what do I do instead? Because we still need to move our bodies. We still need to eat in a healthy way. So if I'm not doing it at working out at five o'clock in the morning, then when am I doing it? And it's that shift in figuring out when I'm gonna do my workout and also what intensity am I doing? If I'm not getting up at 5 a.m. and pounding out this hard, sweaty, drenched workout, what am I doing?

SPEAKER_01 9:30

And when we talked about resourcing, you talked about in this previous episode. When we talk about resourcing, like doing all of those things increase caffeine, lack of sleep, still pushing, doing the exercises that aren't supporting us, that is the opposite of resourcing. That's depleting us. What you're talking about is also resourcing the nervous system, helping support us at this time. Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

And it's also impacting that cortisol.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

That cortisol and your adrenal glands, like you are also depleting those areas and you're resisting that. Cortisol is meant to be in a pattern. It should be high in the morning and it should be low in the evening. And then in between, it has different phases too. So when you do those things, you're also impacting your cortisol and your adrenal glands who already don't want to take on those hormones. So you're giving them more reason to be like, uh-uh, we don't want that responsibility.

Using Cortisol Data To Guide Care

SPEAKER_01 10:32

I I want to note something too that's really fun, Amy. Um, Amy and I worked with a client together, and we got to see um, what was really cool for me is that she did test, she tested with the client and got to see those cortisol levels. And then I got to um say, okay, this is what I would do at this time of day, and to help increase the cortisol levels in the morning. So I just thought that that was really fun because I got to really see, like, when I do an assessment, it kind of tells me those things. But um, to actually see the data was really fun.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Yeah, that was really cool to be able to pull our resources together and do it in that way. And um, also through the testing that I did with her, I could see that her nervous system was off. And my plan for her and the protocol that I gave her was different based on those cortisol patterns, based on the assessment that Heather gave her, it changed how I treated her symptoms. And so I think that's just really powerful to have all of that information to be able to help somebody.

Start With Foundations Not Hormones

SPEAKER_01 11:49

If hormones aren't the front bowling pin, where should women start?

SPEAKER_00 11:54

So I always start by looking at the foundations. So we're looking at sleep, stress, blood sugar regulation, nervous system health, gut health. So there's a lot of things that can impact, influence hormones. It's really important that we figure out which one is impacting them the most. So that's another thing that I look at in my program is I look at the whole system. So for some women, we may need to start with gut health and how have gut health improve so that the hormones can be happier with the gut health because that's everything's connected. So your gut health can impact hormones, hormones can impact gut health. So for some women, it's gut health. For some women, it's stress, for some, it's sleep. So I don't ever look at everything at the I look at everything at the same time, but we don't address everything at the same time because our bodies can't handle that. That's too stressful to try to improve every single area of things going on in the body. So it really depends on which area needs the most work. And so I guess my answer to your question, Heather, is it depends. Um, we have to look at the foundations and you know, we may make small tweaks in every area, but hit one of those areas harder than the other to just get things in a better place so that other things we do can be more effective.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

I love that answer because um it is so similar in my work that, and I know we talk about this all the time, how individualized it is, but when people talk about nervous system regulation, it's not a one-size fits-all. It depends. Yeah. What is going on in the system?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

And that really leads us into the next part of this episode.

Why One Size Fits None

SPEAKER_00 13:40

I I love this part.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Amy, one thing that comes up all the time is women comparing themselves to other women. One friend says hormone replacement solved everything. Another says it was gut health, another says it was strength training, another says it was giving up gluten. Why does it seem like everyone has a different answer?

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Because they do. Simple answer to that, because they do. And honestly, that's one of the biggest misconceptions in the health and wellness world. There's so much noise out there about, oh, this worked for me. This is the magical thing. Try this, try this, try this. And women are constantly looking for quote, the thing and not taking it from an individualized approach. So we're on Instagram and we see the supplement, the diet, the hormone, the workout, but we don't take into effect that our bodies are incredibly individual. We all have different genes, we all have different DNA. Nobody has the exact same makeup. And so then two women can have the exact same symptom, say fatigue, for example, and they have completely different root causes. For one woman, it might be blood sugar dysregulation. For another, it might be chronic stress, it could be poor sleep, gut dysfunction, nutrient deficiencies. And for many women, it's some combination of several things. And I think this also leads to a lot of frustration because you frustration and false hope, I'd say, because we get on social media and we look at Instagram and we look at what worked for somebody else or what our girlfriend tried and it worked for her. And then we try it ourselves and it doesn't work. Then we start beating ourselves up. Like I failed, I must not be doing it right. All those things. It works so great for her, it should work for me too, right? But it doesn't work that way. And then I also think about the like the hope. Like, ooh, ooh, this is gonna be it. This is gonna solve it for me. I'm gonna feel so much better. And then, you know. So it's like this constant emotional roller coaster of like being super hopeful and oh, this is gonna work. I can't wait to try it. And then the disappointment and the guilt and the shame and the beating ourselves up when it doesn't work, but it wasn't our fault. It's not our fault. It's not like Heather said earlier, the one size fits all. That's not it. It there's no such thing when it comes to women's biology. And that's again why the things that your doctor told you don't necessarily work because it's not individualized to you. They don't have time for that. Your doctor has 15 minutes to spend with you. They don't have time to make it individualized, they don't have time to follow up with you afterwards. So that's why I always say that we don't guess. In whole body harmony, I don't guess at anything. I test. I test. And obviously, I'm talking to you about your symptoms and things like that. But until I have that data, I don't know for sure where to start. And my program is not one size fits all. Every single client I've worked with has had a different test results and a different protocol.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

I think, Amy, too. I want to name um, you know, what you talked about emotions and I also want to name like women have different life experiences. 100% and trauma. And that impacts all of this too. So I would like to do an episode later on trauma, but um I I do want to name that too, because I work with a lot of clients who again, it's just it's it's it's different for everybody. And your life experience is not my life experience, their life experience. So it's all different.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Yeah. And even if there wasn't trauma, everyone is still living a different life. Yes. People are getting up at different times of the day. People have different family dynamics, different jobs, different I mean, just in general experiences. It's not no one's life is exactly the same. And when someone throws a protocol at you that doesn't fit into your life, number one, you're not gonna do it. And number two, it's not gonna be effective. And so that's another thing in my program is my goal is always to work around or work my program into your life, not work your life into the program. I don't want you to have to shift everything you do and everything you know, because that's stressful too. I want to be able to fit my program into your life. That's really important to me.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

The same with me. I would say those same exact words. I want what we and I always call it cool collaboration. Like we we collaborate on what will work best for you. Because if you're if I just give you all of this stuff and say, here, go do it, and it doesn't fit your life, you're not gonna do it and it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Yeah, and one of the things I remember from our IIN training, Heather, was him saying that as a coach, we are your guide on the side. We are not doing the work for you. We are supporting you along the way, and we are next to you. We are at your side, supporting you along the way to, like I said, make it fit into your life. Because if it's not sustainable for you, it's not gonna work. And then nothing we do is going to get

From Noise To Clarity With Testing

SPEAKER_00 19:10

it to work either. And we want you to be successful. So, one of the reasons that I created whole body harmony is because I got tired of seeing women handed generic device advice. And the things that I hear women being told, like I said earlier, is maddening and makes my blood boil. They leave offices without feeling supported or even heard sometimes. And like I said earlier, they were taught eat less, exercise more, take this supplement, try this diet. And honestly, most women have already tried all of that. And you're going to the doctor because you are feeling like you don't have it, you've exhausted every possibility that you have. So, what I do is I help women understand their body. We look at the whole picture. I'm gonna look at your hormones, I'm gonna look at gut health, we'll look at stress, metabolism, blood sugar, nervous system function, usually with Heather helping me along the way and lifestyle because healing is not about following someone else's roadmap. Like I said earlier, it's not about what worked for your friend, it's not about what worked with the 20-year-old on Instagram. It's about understanding your own body that is super important to both Heather and I. And so when women finally understand what's driving their systems, Heather and I have both seen that everything changes. It's changed for us and it's changed for the clients that we work with. There's a sense of relief, there's confidence, and there's plan that actually makes sense for each individual person.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

I think that's what women are really looking for. Not another quick fix, but clarity.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah. I mean, most women don't need more information. There's a ton of information out there, but how often have you seen all of that information and been like, okay, great, look at all this, but what the heck do I do with it? How, which one do I pick? Where do I use it? How do I use it? And then we feel like we're drowning in information and all of the noise out there. So, what I found is that women need interpretation, they need to know what's going on, they need somebody to help them connect the dots. And one of my mentors often says that when women know the why, then they will apply. So, Heather and I both always try to teach our clients how the why behind it too. Like we need you to do this because this is what it's going to do for you. And when we understand the why behind what we're being asked to do, we're more likely to do it. And like I said, if you don't do what we suggest that you do, then it's not gonna work. And we want it to work. So we're gonna do everything in our power to get you to a place where it can be the most effective.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

I want to say too, Amy, like I think that's the whole reason we we wanted to do this podcast. Not for more information. Because there you can get information everywhere. It's all over Instagram, Facebook, right? We really want to help people understand their bodies, what's going on, and really help them connect the dots.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Yeah. And we're gonna do teaching too, because you you need to know what's going on in your body from both a biological and a nervous system perspective. That's important too. But we also really want to help you uh learn how to feel better and live your best lives.

Symptoms Are Clues Closing Invitations

SPEAKER_01 22:33

So, what's one final message you want every woman listening to hear?

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Just that your perimenopause isn't your body betraying you. It's nothing you did wrong. It's just your body transitioning, and your symptoms aren't evidence that you're broken. They're clues. And your body is communicating, like we keep saying. And when we stop fighting our bodies and start actually listening to them, everything changes. And that's the shift, that's the body drama shift, and that's where healing begins.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

I'm Heather, nervous system coach and yoga therapist and founder of Embodied Rejuvenation. My work is rooted in the belief that lasting transformation isn't just about knowing what to do, it's about your nervous system feeling safe enough to actually do it. I know what it feels like to be capable, smart, and driven, and still feel like something is holding you back that you just can't name. Through nervous system assessment and high touch coaching, that's exactly what I help women uncover. I also deeply believe in the power of women, healing and growing in community, which is why community is woven into my programs and why I host retreats for women who are ready to go deeper together. If any of that sounds like what you've been looking for, I'd love to connect. You can book a call with me at embodiedrejuvenation.com. The link is in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

At Whole Body Harmony, I help women in midlife stop guessing and finally understand what their bodies are trying to say. Through comprehensive lab testing, personalized protocols, nutrition, and high touch coaching, we look at the whole picture because hormones, gut, metabolism, stress, and lifestyle are all connected. If you are tired of feeling dismissed or stuck, or even been told that you're crazy, you don't have to figure it out alone. You can learn more or book a clarity call at whole bodyharmonycoach.com. Hope to connect with you soon.