Gratitude & Joy: Your Nervous System Can Learn Safety Again

Your body isn’t broken, it’s communicating and for a lot of midlife women, the message is louder than ever. If you’re dealing with stubborn weight, low energy, mood swings, and poor sleep, we’re not going to hand you more theory. We’re giving you practical steps that take minutes, not hours, and that work with your biology and your nervous system instead of fighting them.

We start with a tool we love: the joy inventory. Many women can’t even name what brings them joy anymore, especially after years of caregiving, work pressure, and pushing through. We’ll show you how to rebuild that list from tiny sensory cues and then schedule one joy moment daily as medicine, not a reward. Think smell of coffee, a specific song, a real laugh, a quiet minute after the school bus leaves.

Then we make gratitude actually land. Generic gratitude can feel hollow, so we focus on specificity and felt sense: three concrete moments your brain can replay as real safety. From there we add a nervous system practice called “glimmers,” the opposite of triggers, to help train your system to notice what’s good even in the middle of hard days. Along the way we connect these practices to stress physiology, cortisol, hormone support, inflammation, resilience, and sleep.

Try the five minute challenge tonight, then share this with a woman who needs it. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what glimmer you noticed today.

Connect with Amy Wilford on social media at @amywilfordhealth, or on her website at wholebodyharmonycoach.com

Connect with Heather Fontenot on social media at @embodiedrejuvenation, or on her website at embodiedrejuvenation.com

If you'd like to talk to us about our new joint program, Whole Body Real Life, email us at:

Amy@AmyWilfordHealth.com or Heather@EmbodiedRejuvenation.com 

Transcript

Welcome And The Core Promise

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Body Drama Shift, where we move from confusion to clarity without guessing. Because your body isn't broken, it's communicating. If you're a woman in midlife dealing with stubborn weight, low energy, mood swings, or poor sleep, you're not imagining it and you're not alone. I'm Amy, creator of Whole Body Harmony.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

And I'm Heather, creator of Embodied Rejuvenation. Together we help you decode your symptoms by addressing both biology and the nervous system. Because real change happens when both are in alignment. Let's shift.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Hey, and welcome back to the body drama shift. Last time we talked about gratitude and joy, and we told you that we are going to give you some action steps this time. So this week, we are going to make last week's episode actionable. Because in the body drama shift, we don't want to just talk about theory. We want you to actually walk away with something that you can

Build A Personal Joy Inventory

SPEAKER_01 1:04

do.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

I'll start with on the joy side. So one of the most powerful things I invite my clients to do is to make what I call a joy inventory. So just a simple list of things that genuinely light you up. Not what should make you happy, but what actually does. For some people, it's really small, the smell of coffee, a specific song, a phone call with a specific person. And sometimes what I notice whenever I first meet with clients and we do an assessment, I'll ask them like what brings you joy, what lights you up. And a lot of people cannot name that. They have a hard time naming that. And so I just want to say, like, if your nervous system has been stuck in survival for a long time, sometimes it's really hard to even think about feeling joy or what even would bring you joy. We we get really disconnected from that. So I just want to normalize that because I do see that a lot with my clients.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

And I think that kind of goes back a little bit to previous episodes that we talked about at the beginning, like identity. If you don't identify with feeling joy and you don't feel like that's part of your life, then when someone asks you what brings you joy, it's kind of like this deer in the headlights, like, um, I don't know what does bring me joy. And we have to think about it sometimes. So what Heather and I would love for you to do is for that to be natural, for it to be ingrained in you, a part of your life, a part of your identity, so that if someone asks you that, you can tell them what you like to do, what you enjoy. And I think in sometimes what happens is that in midlife, we stop doing these things because we get so focused on managing symptoms and taking care of everyone else that joy becomes something for later. It's kind of an afterthought. And then later keeps not coming. Like, oh, I'll find joy tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, you get wrapped up in your life, and it doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Yeah, I think we get exactly like you said, Amy, like we get wrapped up in life, we get really busy, we're going to work. You know, for me, it's like, I think, oh, these things have to be done. And life becomes so serious. Like I'm raising kids, I'm taking care of my household, I'm doing all these things. It becomes so serious that we like stop, we we forget about playing and connecting with what brings us joy. So the expectation here is to maybe make a list and then deliberately schedule at least one thing from it every single day, not as a reward, but as medicine. So it can be as simple as if you already drink your cup of coffee, then just take a moment to say, like, does this bring me joy? Or it could be when you put your kids in the school bus, like, does this bring me joy? And if it does, then like really sit with that and let yourself feel that. So it doesn't have to be an added thing to your day, like just an experience in a moment.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

And I think too, like going back to the coffee example is like, what about the coffee brings you joy? Is it the smell? Is it the taste? Is it the heat? Is it the if you like iced coffee, is it the coolness of it going down your throat? I know for me, I used to think about like I use a Keurig. So the sound of the Keurig, like, does that bring me joy and calm, knowing that the coffee is coming? Those kinds of things. It can be really simple, like you said.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Yeah, like engaging your senses.

Make Gratitude Specific And Sensory

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Yeah. And then on the gratitude side, the research is pretty consistent. That specificity, that's a hard word to say, matters. So just like that false positivity, a generic, I'm grateful for my family, lands differently than today. I'm grateful that my daughter texted me a meme that made me actually laugh out loud. That's very, very specific and it lands much differently than just a generic, I'm grateful for my family. We're all grateful for our families, but why are you grateful for your family? That just makes the gratitude piece so much more solidified. And so the more specific and sensory, like we said, that you can be, the more your brain engages with it as a real experience. Again, my favorite word of Heather's, rather than just this abstract idea. Our brain really needs us to be specific for it to land.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Yeah, that creates a felt sense. So your body can actually feel the memory when it's specific.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah. And back to the this is very similar to the joy inventory, but gratitude journals can be great. Some people hate the idea of journaling, but you can also do this as a verbal practice. Like I like to say in my head three things that I'm grateful for before I go to sleep every night. And so just naming three specific things out loud in the morning at the dinner table with your family, or in the evening, or anytime, really, whatever time works for you that you're actually going to do it. And then actually noticing it when you feel that sense of gratitude.

Glimmers And Nervous System Safety

unknown 6:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

And from a nervous system angle, I also love something called a glimmer practice. We talk a lot about triggers. So things that activate your threat response. But a glimmer is the opposite. So a small moment that activates a sense of safety or goodness. So watching a sunset, your pet curling up with you, a really good cup of tea. When you start actively noticing glimmers, you train your nervous system to stanza.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Yeah. And what I love about that is it doesn't require your life to change first. So you don't have to wait to feel good when things are good. You're building the capacity to notice what's already good right now, even in the middle of hard things. And one thing is that the more you notice and pay attention to the good things, the more they show up. And I know that that doesn't, it sounds not real, like things are just going to magically appear and start being better. But the more you notice the good, the more you notice the good. The more it comes up, the more you realize, hey, that was a really great thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Yeah, it's like training your brain to look for that. It's it's almost like when you go to the gym and you're training the muscle. It's the same thing, right? You're training your brain to look for those things. So, which is what makes it medicine and not denial of the hard stuff. It's just expanding your capacity to hold both.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Yeah, and it goes both ways too. If you look for the good things, more good things will appear. If you look for the negative things, more negative things will appear. Like, if you ever notice where you like you wake up in the morning and you're like, I'm so tired, I don't want to get out of bed. And then you're like, oh, and now my curling iron won't heat up. Oh, and I need gas. Ugh, and now there's traffic. Like the negative things just start piling up, and then all of a sudden you're like, this is a terrible day. But if we find those, take those hard moments and we look for the positive things instead, then you find that the more positive things will start to kind of show up in your life.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

And I want to say too, from like a body standpiece from the nervous system, if you're in a dysregulated state, sometimes like that, and you mentioned this earlier, Amy. Like, so I just want to make sure that people like this lands that if you're in a dysregulated state, sometimes like that seems so hard. But like we said, if you could just have your cup of tea or coffee and say, what does that warmth feel like in my third? What does the smell of this smell like? Those little bitty tiny moments start to build on each other.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Yeah, and that um using all of your senses too. So, like for me, also with my coffee, when I put my muscle milk in it, I love the way it looks when it swirls and changes color. Like little things like that. And I know we talked before about how sometimes it's hard to realize how big of a difference the little things make, but they really do. And the more you start to do it, the more you realize that wasn't that hard. That was really easy, but I feel so much

Joy Impacts Cortisol Hormones Sleep

SPEAKER_01 9:06

better now. So, this is what I want women to understand too, though, is that this is not separate from health work. It's not the soft feel-good chapter that you can just skip over because you don't feel like it. When you practice gratitude and you cultivate your joy consistently, you're also lowering your cortisol, you're supporting hormone production, you're reducing inflammation, you're improving sleep, and you're training your nervous system towards resilience. So every single one of those things shows up in your laps. Every single one of those things shows up in how your body feels. So, like we've talked about throughout, everything is connected. Every little thing that you do adds up and builds and improves all of those things that you're struggling with right now.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yes, and it shows up in how you show up. So in your relationships, in how much bandwidth you have for others, and how you feel about yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

And women in midlife come in me with real physical symptoms. Those symptoms are real. I'm, I would never tell you that they're not, and I take them very seriously. But the body's not just a collection of lab values and symptoms. It is a living system that is deeply responsive to emotional and nervous system states. And you can't supplement or eat your way out of a chronic cortisol if you're also not addressing the nervous system piece. An institute of integrative nutrition that Heather and I went through, the founder of that would say your body has the ability to heal itself by itself if given half a chance. And we often don't give our bodies the chance to do that.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Yeah, that's why angle and we do together. The lab work and the whole person work, physical, mental, emotional, personality, and spiritual. It all belongs at the same table because your whole system works together.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

And I'll say again, gratitude and joy are not touchy-feely extras. They're foundational to every other change that you're trying to make because your brain also hears those health thoughts that, oh, I'm never gonna get there. And it hears you when you say, Oh, this was a terrible day. And it holds on to that and it makes it harder for your body to let go of those things that are holding you back with your health.

Five Minute Practice And Weekly Plan

SPEAKER_00 11:23

And before we wrap up, let's give our listeners one thing to do this week that takes less than five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

So tonight, before you go to sleep, I want you to think of three specific things from your day that were good. Not big things, small things. The coffee that was perfect, the moment the sun came through the window, a text from a friend, write them down if you can, say them out loud if you can't. Just do it. And one thing is we are giving you this task in the morning. So throughout your day today, I want you to be aware and think, oh, that's something I can be grateful for tonight. Oh, that's another thing I can say that I'm grateful for tonight. And you will be surprised at how many things show up throughout your day. And when you go to bed tonight and you're trying to think of those three things, they're gonna come to you really easily because you already had them in the front of your brain that that's what you were looking for is things to be grateful for.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

And I would like to invite you to add one thing from your joy inventory to your calendar this week. Treat it like an appointment with your nervous system because that's exactly what it is.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

So your body is not broken, it's responding to what it's been given. So let's start giving it something different. Let's give it some more of those feel-good endorphins and go into our day in a positive state.

Share The Show And Work With Us

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Thank you so much for being here with us today. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a woman in your life who needs to hear it. Leave us a review, follow the show, and we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Take good care of yourself, you deserve it.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

I'm Heather, nervous system coach and yoga therapist and founder of Embodied Rejuvenation. My work is rooted in the belief that lasting transformation isn't just about knowing what to do. It's about your nervous system feeling safe enough to actually do it. I know what it feels like to be capable, smart, and driven, and still feel like something is holding you back that you just can't name. Through nervous system assessment and high-touch coaching, that's exactly what I help women uncover. I also deeply believe in the power of women healing and growing in community, which is why community is woven into my programs and why I host retreats for women who are ready to go deeper together. If any of that sounds like what you've been looking for, I'd love to connect. You can book a call with me at embodiedrejuvenation.com. The link is in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

At Whole Body Harmony, I help women in midlife stop guessing and finally understand what their bodies are trying to say. Through comprehensive lab testing, personalized protocols, nutrition, and high touch coaching, we look at the whole picture because hormones, gut, metabolism, stress, and lifestyle are all connected. If you are tired of feeling dismissed or stuck, or even been told that you're crazy, you don't have to figure it out alone. You can learn more or book a clarity call at whole bodyharmonycoach.com. Hope to connect with you soon.