EP 3 - Procrastination, Sleep Hacks, Trust Issues & Finding Your Tribe

 Are procrastinators secretly more productive? Can you function on just a few hours of sleep? And once trust is broken, can a relationship ever be repaired? In this episode of the PBNJ Podcast, we dive into the messy, funny, and thought-provoking conversations most people avoid. 

From all-night college cram sessions, unconventional sleep habits, naps, and REM sleep to entrepreneurship, self-reliance, social media addiction, and the decline of real-world social skills, nothing is off limits. We explore what it means to build meaningful communities, find your tribe, and create genuine connections in a world that often feels increasingly disconnected. 

The conversation takes unexpected turns into UFOs, aliens, Roswell theories, modern culture, and the challenges of navigating relationships when trust has been damaged. Along the way, we share personal stories, controversial opinions, and insights on productivity, personal growth, human behavior, and the importance of understanding different perspectives. 

If you enjoy authentic conversations about relationships, entrepreneurship, self-improvement, psychology, productivity, and the complexities of modern life, this episode delivers plenty of laughs, hot takes, and real talk. Subscribe, follow, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Transcript

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And just like that, you're here. Welcome to the PBNJ podcast, where things get a little messy, a little bold, and definitely not fucking boring. We're serving up some real talk, some hot takes, and conversations you probably shouldn't have, but we're having them anyway. So settle in. This is PBJ. Help us save the whales. I remember when we were um in university, which this is so pointless, but we would uh we would train ourselves to sleep like every other night, right? So we got in the habit of sleeping every other night. And the idea was for those of us who didn't believe in doing schoolwork, my s which is me, right? I never did homework, none of that jazz. Like if you had to write a paper, because you had to do that, right? Like you had to or you just filled the class, we let's say they're like, oh, you got two weeks to do this paper. We would do it literally the night before, and just like we're not going to bed until all 20 pages are done. So like over the year by sleeping overnight, we like trained ourselves to just like not need sleep as much. So you would not sleep to be super productive. Right. But it's like ironic because if we were super productive, we would have actually like planned rather than just like bullet screening it. No, I agree with your method. I work better under pressure and procrastination works to my advantage because I would do the same thing in college, I would wait until like 11 p.m. and then I'd go to like 2 a.m. to and I would always get an A on the paper. Yeah. I think that's the same with me. I would leave things to like the last moment. Um, and I would the the fire would start burning and you'd be like, fuck, I gotta get this shit done like right now. Yeah, nothing, no turning back now. So you want to get it done as quickly as possible. Um, but do you feel like you function properly with without any sleep? Uh yeah, I've never been someone who particularly needs sleep. Now that I've walking with like my weighted vest now, like physically my body will be sore and like must have sleep. But unless I'm physically taxed, mentally I've never required sleep. I've noticed that the best sleep that I've had is if I skip a day of sleeping. And like like the RAM is just on point. I mean, like the best sleep is like when you don't sleep for a whole day. I don't know why I can't sleep past six hours. It doesn't matter what has happened, how long I've been awake, I can't sleep past six hours. It just won't happen. I love drugs. I take trash. I love hold on, pause, clip that. There I go. All right. I take Trazodone on a daily basis, and I sleep like a baby at least seven to eight hours. It's flipping fantastic. Okay, I've heard Trazodone is very good, like for sleeping. It is. Not sure what that is. It's not like an addictive thing. It's not like it's not an addictive, it's not like it's actual use sleep. Oh, it is for smoke. So you're not like abusing some drug for itself. No, no, no, no. And it's not addictive, and it's not like but the quality, what it does is it keeps you in REM and the quality of your sleep. That's a thing. You feel rested when you wake up. You don't feel groggy or anything like that. You feel like it's funny you talked about sleep because like I I take naps. Do you take naps? No, I can't if I nap, I feel like nothing. If I get going on the naps, then I then I get into the to the cycle, and then I feel like I have to sleep in the afternoon. And since I've run the business, if I'm tired, like if I need to take a nap, everything stops. I don't care. I'll reschedule, I'll like sit, you know, whatever. It doesn't make a difference to me. Like if I'm tired, I listen to my body. I mean, I'm up at four o'clock in the morning. Or if you're up at the same time, we can do work together. If not, then you know, I'll wait to wake up. But when I'm tired, I turn right off. So like yesterday I took a nap and I did the mistake of going to taking a nap at like five. Okay. And like, yeah, and like I don't cook, I don't nap for a very long time. When I say I can re-energize for the next 24 to 48 hours on just 10 minutes of sleep, yeah, I literally can do that. And what did I do? I fell asleep for 10 minutes. All it took is like 10 minutes. I like dozed off, eyes were closed. I woke up and I was like, fuck. And I knew there was no turning back then. So I didn't go to bed till like 3:30 this morning. So yeah. Well, that's good. He knows his body, he knows every contour. I understand. He's explored it all. I if I nap, I get horrific nausea when I wake up. I can't nap. If I sleep for short periods of time, I get really nauseous. You get nauseous. When you wake only when you wake up. Oh wow. That will persist for hours. Yeah. That's that's terrible. Can't nap. Did you since toddler since you were a kid or? Well, I wasn't keeping notes when I was a toddler, so I don't know, but uh no, this is like everybody keeps notes when they're a toddler. Like why do you think no? I I just I don't know what it's been since, but in my adult life, I know that if I don't sleep like if I try, oh let me go to sleep for two, three hours, I'm gonna wake up nauseous. So I can't sleep like less than three, but I can't sleep like more than six. So I can't sleep past like when I wake up, I'm up, and like if I don't get out of bed, I'll start getting like anxious if I'm in bed too long. So the years of like sleeping in, I think those are like a teen thing. But like I can't sleep in. See, I don't sleep in, but I'll like wake up and let's say it's like whatever, 7 a.m. And I'll just like chill on my phone for like an hour and a half. I mean everybody does like their whole chill thing on the phone, but I'm saying like I can't stay in like longer than that. Like, I have to go out and explore the world. Like that's just my thing. I need to explore the world. You have to go find the nearest mountain. Talking about the mountain, I actually crap, I forgot the name of the park. But anyways, it's like this cool park in Boynton Beach, and like I'm an avid like nature person, right? And this park is in Boynton Beach, and I'll and I'll find the uh the name in like by the Boynton Inlet, huh? It's not by the Boynton Inlet, but it it's almost like on a hill, right? So one hill in Florida. No, there's plenty of hills in Florida the more you the more north you get. Yeah, which was a squirrel eating country. I think it's called ocean. No, it's called Rosemary Scrub Natural Area. I think that's what it was called. Yeah, it is. I'm looking at the photos right now. It's the rosemary, right? And it's literally on a hill. When I told you I felt like I was I was going on an incline, yeah. It was the coolest experience. It was a very it was like a long hike that I did over there. But like even when you're driving by and you see all the houses around them, they're they all go up in that direction. And like literally the beach is almost on the other side, like not too far away, right? But it was the coolest hill, like park, like local to us. Everything else is just flat here, right? But it was the coolest park, and I think everybody should go and like explore it. So you found evidence of the world is not flat. That's good. The world apparently isn't flat. Um, it is a little rocky. He knows all the best places. This man, because he rescues plants, like that's what he does. Steel rescue, whatever you want to call it. Like he from the wild? Like plants that have been somewhat ignored or are uh ignored or thrown away or no, he doesn't go to like state parks and like ravage their treasures. But I mean you may have. But like um we went to a house. If it's an invasive plant, like orchids that were growing on that tree that like were just kind of there, and and the house being no one lived in the house and no one was caring for whatever, right? Those things would have probably died. They would have died. He went and like gutted the orchids from the tree that they were growing into, and we took them, we put them in the back of my car with the with the ants, which I appreciated. Yeah, and uh he brought them home. Or I was like walking down the street, and like there was this giant chunk of these um I think they're called like butterfly orchids. Yeah. They're like a native orchid to Florida, and I guess like the branch from the uh oak tree branch branch from the oak tree broke, and I found like this gigantic like bulk of these like beautiful orchids. So I just took it in like I walked another seven miles with like this thick thing on my back like this. You really are bilbo baggins. I am, yeah. And uh you should see my feet, they're fucking dirty. And uh yeah, and then I brought them home. So save that for your other fans. There we go, yeah. Yeah, follow the plant man. Link below, link below. The plant man. You could have like your feet in dirty. Oh my god, with like wild animals. Yes, it's a little crazy. I'm telling you, this is. This is how ideas are born, yes, right here. And it could be like you in a jungle or your OnlyFans profile picture. The plant man. People make money off of this. That's what I mean. If it's like just your feet, like who really cares, I guess, right? Yeah, but then I like heard this other thing of like people like selling their farts. Have you heard that? Yes, in the jars. You put them in a jar and they like sell them. So like there's like uh an industry for everything. I don't know how people in America like it's hard to make money. You can sell anyone fucking anything, like the most ridiculous random things. You can go from nothing to like everything here in the United States. And like, I don't know, there's all these people that like completely hate hate the United States, and I don't understand why they hate the United States. I have significant problems with the United States, but it's the ability to come in and be like, I'm successful, you're like retired, like you you probably wouldn't have been able to do that anywhere else. That is true, you know. So my issue is my issue is less that I I think that this is a very great place that if you're like I would like to go from nothing to create like wealth, you can do that and better than most places. Though I will say there's not so much of a necessity to do that in Europe because you don't like starve to death if you don't have money. Like everything's kind of you're taking care of a lot of things. So if you don't become a wall of success, you can still have a pretty good life. But in Florida, like if you don't make enough money, you literally can't put gas here. Yeah, forget about it. Yeah, you can't like gas was what, like uh like what's rent down here? It's like you can't do anything six dollars by me. It was like something horrible. Yeah, I saw 519 yesterday, and I was like, that is a little outrageous. And I and I know like there's a problem when the Costco or BJ's gas is like higher than usual. You're like haven't like what the f you know, like it's uh that's how like you know how like um miners would take canaries into the caves and yeah, and see like does it die? Does it die? Yeah, that's like a I feel like that's like a marker for like something might happen. So the markers, if you look, there's they've made a list of like 10. I don't have them on top of my head, but they made a list of like there's a list of markers you look for for a empire that's about to collapse. And now keep in mind when empires existed before, like gas wasn't a thing. So it's like the amount of get the cost of your gas wasn't like a factor in ancient Rome, right? Right, right. But um one of the things that that is a factor is how concentrated the wealth becomes in the hands of a few. Because like Rome had a ton of slave revolts, and even the people who weren't slaves that would side with them because it's like we might as well be fucking slaves for like what's going on. So one of the things in Europe is because the tax rate's so high. We actually like it because we like the redistribution of wealth because we're just like the roads are nice for the poor kids because of me, the schools are nice for the poor kids because of me. And it just makes like life in general better for everybody. Whereas so here you can make a lot of wealth, but that has slanted the mindset a little bit to like I need to do this, and it's me and I did it. Like I built this thing. It's like, yeah, but if the roads didn't exist and if the internet infrastructure didn't exist and the electrical grid didn't exist, none of which you made, like you wouldn't be here. Yeah, but I guess the other part of that is like, you know, no one else is gonna take care of me but me. I think that's true if everybody feels that way. Like, are you gonna like are you gonna pay everybody's bills for them? So, like, growing up in the Bahamas, which was a very small island, the amount of people who ding do things for other people, and I have even more problems with the Bahamas than I do here, but there's so much of that we don't have we don't have homeless people. Somebody will take you in. Okay. Period. That's very that that is very kind and very like nurture and things of that nature, you know. Uh, but I mean at the end of the day, like, when do you say like enough is enough? Like, there's charity. Are you saying like enabling versus yeah, there's charity, there's foundations, there's different government institutions that help people that truly cannot work for themselves. But I think there's a degree of there's not a degree, but there's um a certain attitude, particularly in younger people, where like they feel like they shouldn't have to work. Entitlement is rampant in America. That's true. And you know it's my least favorite quality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, and I think that's a problem because like everybody should be able to take care of themselves. So here it comes from like a caregiver perspective, right? I took care, I was a caregiver for my grandmother and my mother when I was younger, right? And I learned that if you don't take care of yourself first, right? You can't take care of anybody else. Put on your oxygen mask first and help someone else. Right. Okay, I'm with you. So again, like, why aren't people first taking care of themselves so that they can take care of other people that are down the road? I will I think it's okay. First of all, I think that there's not a lot of good training when kids are growing up in this country to have that mindset. The idea is like, go to school, shut the fuck up, do what you're told, right? Go to college, shut the fuck up, do what you're told, then you get a job, and then then the corporation is going to provide the things you need. So the way of coming up isn't self-reliance, it's like just do what the fuck you're told for a period of time, and then go and do what you're told over there, and like money will come and like you just kind of like buy the necessities. There'sn't a whole lot of self-reliance. To speak to what you're saying, what I think would be cool, and one of one of the panda spenser who lives up in the uh, I think like Wellington kind of area, like their community has a large farm on it, like for growing crops that they all contribute to put into and they all take out of. So it's like the community puts in and the so the community puts out, and so if there are more projects like that, like that's like community life, though. Like in Israel, they have kibbutz, right? And kibbutz, like everybody like works together in the farmland and they all contribute to the fine. So I think if you had that here, that's people would grow that that mind. I believe everything, okay, mindset leads to everything else, right? And so if you build a it's just me mindset, right? Like for you to learn to fish, someone has to help you learn to fish in a sense. Like, unless you want to go the hard way where like you struggle with fishing until you figure it out. Someone's theory, like if you want to learn to swim, like unless you want to restaurant, like somebody teaches you how to how to swim, right? But if so, if you have a mindset of it's me for myself, nobody's thinking, let me teach the next person so that they will know how to do something and be able to teach the next person. All right, but teaching and doing it for them are two different things. When you're doing things for other people, they start to atrophy, right? They start to not want to do things on their own. And I feel like that's really what's happened with a much with uh with a younger generation. Like they don't even know how to have conversations with people. It's like all they all they do is look at at their phones. Like you go, you go drop, you go uh drive down the street in the morning while all these kids are waiting uh for the bus. Yeah, not one of them is talking to each other, they are all on their phones like these zombies, but being controlled by like this, like that's a concerted effort, though, by media companies to be like, how do we create such a small dopamine hit that we addict people? So it wasn't like, oh, this naturally happened to kids, like multi-billion caller corporations, like, how do we fucking make this happen and then get their parents to like buy them microtransactions? We're gonna monetize the shit of this. Yeah, so this was like this was like a massive effort that had billions behind it and succeeded because it was a massive effort that had billions behind it. Like, for example, we throw like lots of networking events, right? And um, I noticed like the one the people who have the best social skills are necessarily not the younger people, like 100%. And I remember when I was younger, I would I had phenomenal social skills. I was gregarious as fuck, you know, and I would talk to like whoever I wanted to, and um, and I noticed like now like people don't even know how to how to like interact with each other. It's so unusual, but I feel like society it this um is starting to like atrophy more and more and more and more to the point where like maybe we do have to do everything for everybody. I don't even I think uh it's like how you okay, so like when my mentor was like teaching me finance, right? She would be like, You don't know what you're doing yet, and you could hurt people financially, right? Which is true. So like I'm going to do this, right? But it wasn't like I'm going to do this for us. Like, I'm gonna do this for you, and you're gonna watch me do it, so that after seeing me do it five times, you now know how to do it. So I don't I I think there was an issue with just doing something for someone, but I think doing for someone was someone having them there so that they like in medal in medical, they say like when you're doing operations, like see one, do one, teach one, right? It's like that, like I'm going to do it and you're going to participate and watching, and then you'll every time we do it, a little less of it's going to be me, and more of it's going to be you, and then eventually it's going to be all you. And there was um there's a guy called John Maxwell who writes sub books about leadership. And one of the books five. I almost did his course actually. He's great, he's great. He and I have the same mentor, he's an awesome dude. Um he's like, first, uh he's like, there's a process he puts through people people through in leadership, which is like I'm going to tell you what you do, and you do it. Uh-uh. Then I'm going to tell you what you do, and you're going to give me feedback on what you think, and then you're going to do it, right? And then I'm going to come to you with it, and then you're going to tell me what you think you should do, and I'm going to correct what you do. And then I'm going to come to you with doing something. You're going to tell me what you're going to do, and I'm not going to say anything. And it's like every time it's like slowly transitioning ownership of this thing over and over. So I think if it looks like that, is that would that be more in line with something you would think makes sense? Or do you feel like that's still too much hand holding? I think it's still too much hand holding. I think like people just give them a spear and yeah, just go and like and like experience life. Like go out there and like and learn and and go and like build your own house, go and forage your own food. Like go and in this economy? Whatever you can do. There's there's trees out there with food. I feel like in this time, you know what I mean? Jesus Christ. No, but I'm saying you're on the very other end of it than I am, which is fine. I appreciate it. And that's fine. Yeah, that's good. What I mean to say is like um I think in America it's hard. Like, even here in Florida, you can't walk anywhere. Everything's so spread out. In New England, we all walk to each other's houses because New England was built in a time and only horses existed. So everything had to be right near each other. And so we spent a lot of time. We saw each other because like everyone had to be down the street. The store's down the street because it was built when it was 1700s and winter, right? Um, and in Europe, like because walking is so common, like walking's common, people go out in England. If you own a big private estate, you have to allow people to walk on your land. You have no choice by law. You have to allow people, you must have a walking path on your land. In Florida, you're you trespassing like your dog. Get off my own. So what I'm saying is like the mindset in Europe is more conducive to be like, no, you can go out and do something, so like after there's tons of social clubs in Europe after work, that's just like bowling club, all these things, so that you will meet people you do not know in creator. I mean, they have stuff like that here also. They have social culture, but not as like a not as like a national culture, not as a well, maybe not, maybe not as a national culture, or maybe we're just this is a very small microcosm. Yeah, because back to your thing with the networking event, like a lot of the reason I I feel when I go to those things that a lot of people don't talk, or even that I will be hesitant to talk to people, is the conversations that will begin have such a transactional flair to them from coming at me from the other side. And I don't even talk because the first thing I ask people is where they're from that it's just becomes such a turnoff because it's like it's almost like you're meeting a prostitute and they're like, How much? Well, I mean, I think we had an event at uh at Camelot in West Palm Beach last week. Yeah, and uh and a conversation that was actually not transactional was very interesting to me. And someone said that you are in a cult. What's that about? Who's that? Who said we have a cult? Someone said we'd no Daniel didn't say we had a couple of things. Something about a cult or something like that. She was defending the prayer thing that you do, or someone's not a cult. Someone okay, okay, okay. So we have the pandas, right? Daniel though. So we have the pandas, right? And somebody who was not one of us bring the offerings. Right. Someone who was not one of us was curious why we have such a tight-knit circle, or like why we like kind of talk to ourselves. And I was talking, like, these are my pandas, and they were like, What's that? And I was like, This is like the tribe I built, and then we built, and it's like, this is like our circle, like because like us first, right? And they were like, Oh, so you have a cult, and I was like, All right, no, we just like have a group of people who have freed themselves from the microcosm that is this area, and it made sense to me that all these people should meet each other and become friends. Clearly, they didn't watch the Netflix series, you know, yeah, live to 100 with the blue zones, because the the key element in all of that, not to digress, is all about community. And long-lasting relationships. So that's what keeps right. The social ability keeps people happier, healthier, and living longer. But anyway, I digress. No, no, no. But it's it's it's like it's interesting because it was so weird to hear that said to me. And it I kind of didn't mind it, though we will convert to a cult eventually, probably. But um uh it's uh it's in the works, though. But um it was like I met all these people, and it's funny because so here's how this started it was me, right? And then I knew all these people, right? I knew Gabe and all these other people, but some of them I live in Del Rey, and events are usually north or south, right? So the South people would never meet the North people because that's like an hour drive. Or not so North people would never meet the South people, same reason. So Danielle's birthday was happening on August 21st, I think it was. I think your birthday's 21st. And so she was like, I want to have a birthday party. You have a big house. Can we have a birthday house? August 21st. Oh, mine was August 20th. Oh, I remember when it was. Yeah, because you were there. We had a cake for you as well. And then um, I was like it was a cookie monster. Oh, that's he's addicted to cookies, I love cookie. And so I literally wouldn't have that specially made. I was like, I need a cookie monster cookie, uh cake. And they were like, We can do that. And I had them all come together to be like, all these people should meet each other. And it was so cool. The conversations people were having who had never met each other that they were having, and I I'm someone who, with all the pandas together, I don't say much. I like to walk around and just listen to them talk to each other, especially those who have met each other before. And it was so cool just seeing the things they were talking about, none of anything to do with business or whatever. It was just all these organic friendships being built from people who had never met each other, but I knew would love each other to the point that they all like hang out all the time. Like even when I'm not around, they see each other and spend time together and refer business to each other. And so it's this beautiful organism that's built, this like continuously growing that obviously you're a part of now. That like I don't know, I think cult is such a weird way to look at something. I think it's just important to find your tribe, and it's cool now because a lot of people come up to me and they're like, How do I become a panda? And I'm like, uh be around and you'll get tapped or you won't. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, there's no like an don't we have an initiation where like we jump everybody, right? No. Someone asked me that I was like 12 installments of 99.99. Yeah, that's hilarious. I would ask people though, like the whole I I'm addicted to Netflix, like I love streaming services. So I watch all these cult like documentaries and all this stuff, and it's like they all have one thing in common, which is like stop idolizing false prophets. So, in theory, a cult has a leader, and that leader dictates what everyone does and says and lives, and so like for someone to even throw that term out there, like I'm I can't even believe it's funny because I'm actually cognizant of all this stuff because like a few times some have been like, Oh, panda leader. I'm like, no, do not like this is not like that. This is a round table, like this is ours. And this was this was born actually because my very in finance and real estate, whatever people have their brokerage and they'll name it after themselves, right? I was like, this is my brokerage and this is my team. And I hated that shit because I was like, This is mine, this belongs to me, right? And you're part of it. This is this is mine, but you can be here, but it's mine, right? And I hated that shit, and I was like, no, like you should make something that's ours, and it starts like there, and this is ours, and everyone has agency and ownership, and it doesn't belong to anyone anymore than it does anyone else. This is just a safe space for people with a like mind, with with a similar mindset who want to just share and grow together. That's right, that is what this was supposed to be, and so it couldn't be a cult because there's no centralized leader, and there's no centralized, like we are so diverse across the political spectrum, about across the religious spectrum, certainly across like the country spectrum, that's right, which I'm super proud of. And it was funny the other day I realized we have a incredibly large LGBTQ representation within our click. I think like a third of our, maybe not a third, but like a quarter of our uh people are LGBTQ. I didn't know that. Yeah. Really? Yeah, love it. That's cool. Well, diversity is really important. Uh including people is really important, and I think that's something that you've really uh created. We I feel like we have created well. I mean, you started it. It didn't take much because people remember remember when I told you when we were like driving down, uh we were like viewing, like we were at what were we doing? We were uh we were like at Marketing Madness in Palm Beach Gardens, and I remember I I told you I was like, you know, I really I really enjoy these like car rides because I feel like I'm in like high school, like skipping school and stuff like that. We're just like going back and forth, and I was like, I really hope everybody like succeeds to continue to do things like this. That's why I think this has worked is like everybody has that same thing of has never been like like someone will be like, I have this thing that someone needs. Which panda do we have that does it? Like it's like innate now. Like, how can we put money into another one of our people's pockets? How can we help further our people? Like, and so perhaps I started it, but like it's like when we did the tea party and people are like, Oh my god, you did such a good job. I'm like, bitch, I didn't do I did five percent of this. Like, we're lucky because so many of us take ownership. The like everybody contributes, and so everything becomes so easy because everybody's sharing the weight. And there's no drama, and there's no drama, there's no drama, which is crazy when you think of the number of us. I mean, I'm just saying, you have enough people, like there's gonna be there's gonna be something. I mean, like, if I mean, whatever it is, what it is, there's always gonna be people with their personality, but it's never it's crazy. I think about all the time, and whatever like it's very like easygoing and stuff like that. So um I didn't mean to derail it. No, not at all. So aside from Colts, I was actually um I was actually watching a lot of uh news now on the aliens. On the aliens. Have you seen that? No, you haven't seen no you don't really watch the news. I am I'm like, I'm not I'm very non-extraterrestrial. Not because I don't believe in extraterrestrials. Do you believe in aliens? Millions and billions of civilizations out there. By by by math alone, there are millions of civilizations in this galaxy alone. Correct, I agree. The problem is space is so big, there's so much space between everything, it is so incredibly difficult to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time. Well, like it took like decades just to get out of the solar system. Well, for you. So like here's the thing like everybody always says it took me or it took us as like a global like entity to do anything. Right. Where like you're you're I don't think you're the only person in this universe, and just because you can't run very fast doesn't mean that somebody else can't run very fast. So you're saying that those with better technology would be able to get here faster. They have there's a couple, so there's a couple of reasons though why that may not it's not that they have, so because humanity has been here for such a short amount of time, and humanity with communication that reached beyond the atmosphere has been here for such an even shorter amount of time. If extraterrestrials had passed Earth, statistically would have been at a time with where it was like a molten ball of rock, or like maybe horseshoe crabs were like the species on the planet, right? And then the other thing is there's something called the dark forest theory where even if there are a bunch of species out there, they don't advertise that they're out there because then someone bigger comes along and like takes your shit. And so if you're out there, like you try to keep quiet. Well, yeah, we're not quiet because we've got people like sending out messages out into like space. So like anomaly. Well, so in that theory, we would be an anomaly. We don't know. We don't know for an anomaly. No, what I'm saying is assuming the dark forest theory, which is one theory, we would be an anomaly because in theory, like if you are a prey in the dark forest at night, you don't like advertise you're there because a bigger predator comes and eats you, right? So that's one theory about why that might happen. Or someone smarter is there to take care of you and show you the way. That and that's the hope. Okay, so if you guess right, but if you guess wrong, you're erased. And so so so you don't take the risk. So all I know is that my great uncle was at the scene of Roswell and can confirm. That's well, did confirm he'd passed on. So I would suggest that you actually look into it because like the government is starting to release a lot of classified files of different things that are happening out there that are cannot be explained whatsoever. I no, I've seen them and I and I understand that they defy physics. What I'm saying is if if let's say that's another species, right? They have clearly don't have a desire to make contact with us. And if I had to guess, it's actually probably because like if you remember when the conquistadors came to America and exchanged diseases with the natives, like people just started dying left and right. One of the fears might be like the exchange of pathogens that neither side has an immunity for could lead to like mass amounts of death. Well, the the other, the other, okay. So there's that theory where where there's like this entity, there's these beings that want to come here to our world or their world. What is this term for right? Um, and and kind of show us and kind of like show us I love it, and kind of show us like what we're doing wrong, okay, right? Like there's a better path. There's a better path for like energy. There's no way we don't even need that. We know we literally know what we're doing wrong and choose to do it because they're because of of people who who are in power, right? Oh, I have a topic. Oh, I have a topic. I have a topic for us to talk about. I have a topic for us to talk about. Okay. And um, I don't know if we want to make it another, but um you want to end with a question? Um, well, we could just quickly go into this. So one of the things that so you know your algorithm on your social media like gets grabbed, and you start seeing a bunch of the same thing. Yeah, one of the things I've been seeing lately, which is something I've always struggled with, and this is like I say struggle with, but I'm always like I try to see both sides of it. Is like, do you think I'm of the opinion that the only currency in a relationship is trust, and once it's gone, it can never be rebuilt, like that's cooked, right? But there are people on the other side who think that seem to think differently. A lot of my um social media feed recently has been like to do with stuff like that. And so one of the things I'm um I've been curious to hear someone else's opinion is do you think trust can ever be rebuilt, or is it just like fucked? Because humans can theory forgive, but you can't people don't forget pain. The body never forgets pain. You remember your trauma from when you were a kid. You know what I mean? I I do. I think you only hurt the ones you love, and it's true for a reason, it's very cliche, but if you don't love or care deeply about someone, they don't have the power or you're not giving them the power to hurt you, right? In any in any capacity, whether it's love interest, business relationship, family member. So I have family members that I I love and adore, but I don't like them at all. Like I think I would take a bullet for them, but I think they're assholes. They've done things that have not been the best thing for me, and vice versa, over the years, and we've had arguments, but at the end of the day, I would go to bat for them because they're blood and their family. Um in the relationship aspect, I think when trust is broken, it takes a really, really, really strong foundation. You have to rebuild all over again, I feel. You can't just pretend like it didn't happen. You have to go deep and do the work and figure out and apologize. Yeah. And really patient. Yeah. And you need, I mean, therapy's always good, but you gotta, you gotta dig deep, which whichever party is, I guess, responsible for the pain, they need to dig deep and and try to figure out why they did what they did. Because if they don't figure out the why, it's just gonna be this repetitive pattern. So I do feel like you can edit this, right? We don't need to say we can just keep going. I think both parties need to figure out like why something happened, right? And like both both parties should work together to figure out why this thing happened, and the party that got hurt should be understanding as to why it occurred. The one who hurt the person should understand why it happened, and together they should learn from the situation to avoid a repetitive situation over and over again, because then that's how toxic situations occur. If you if you start making the same mistake over and over again, then it's it's not gonna be. So you take if I understand you're of the opinion that like the kind of the nothing happens in a vacuum, and even if like I did something, like because nothing happens in the vacuum, both people have to look and see if there was responsibility on both sides. Both people should both people should work together as a team. Yeah. A relationship is a team. There's there's not there's not like there's not just me in the relationship. If if both parties work together to figure out why it happened, and the one party can un can begin to forgive through understanding, right? And the other person can uh learn why it happened or why they did it through understanding, if they both want to continue to be in the relationship together, the only way to grow together is to learn from what what But do you feel like And sometimes those are the strongest relationships, the ones that like learn from that. Like you go, you you like if you're if you just want to end something right because your trust went from here to here, you're not willing to put in the work, also, right? Just because you got hurt doesn't mean that you don't have to do some work, also. You have to learn how to heal yourself. I'm not I'm not boiling because I don't like so one thing about me, I don't I there's actually a running bet that whoever can get me to raise my voice in anger gets a thousand dollars. And it's I don't mean anger, but like fishing to like speech. No, no, no, no, I'm not there yet. I'm trying to, I love taking in perspectives that aren't mine because it even if it doesn't change my mind, it allows me to see the world from a lens that I haven't seen it before, and I love that because it makes me feel more enriched. So it's less that I'm boiling, I'm more just like taking in a mindset that I don't agree with, but like enjoying the merits of it. So you know what? Like, if if you don't learn from the situation, you, the hurt person, won't grow as an individual. If you continue to throw people under the bus because they threw you underneath the bus, then you'll never find the person who you can compromise with and grow with, right? That's all that it's coming from. Um, you're saying like once trust is lost, it's done. Well, I because I don't look at it as like someone, okay, so and trust is the foundation of a relationship. I don't look at this someone hurt me, so I'm gonna throw them under the bus. Because to me, that's like someone hurt me, so I'm gonna hurt them. I don't look at the biggest. Not underneath the bus, but like it's over. Um we'll never we'll never be able to come back from this ever again. It's more like And is and is that is that the problem with them, or is there a problem with the person that got hurt? Correct. It's it's subjective. I think everything is subjective by the situation. So for me, it's more like what quality is what just happened indicative of? Because like certain qual like certain qualities are deal breakers to me that I won't deal with. So like spiteful behavior, someone who does something intentionally to hurt you, I'm immediately done. Immediately or a vindictive situation, right? Right, right. Yeah, so if someone literally said something with if I'm how long I've been with someone. If someone says something to me with the purpose of hurting me, that is the end in that moment. I need one instance of that that I'm done. I I no, not gonna be a second one. Because like that, someone who like chooses to purposely hurt you is not your friend. But maybe there's something behind that, right? Maybe there's something behind that. But you need to, but you need to it's not good when someone wants to delivery hurt you, but maybe they lost control in some way or another. So maybe you have to examine that. Maybe that's something from like childhood trauma or from like past experiences, right? And if you can understand, you can be like, Did you just say that to me? Right. You know, ask why. I think this lends to a part two, and I think we should wrap it up and start part two. What do you guys think? Yeah, let's do it. Because I want to continue on this. And just like that, we're done. But don't worry, we'll be back. If you laughed, learned something, or just enjoyed the chaos. 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