SPEAKER_02: Philippians chapter 3 and 2 Corinthians chapter 12.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to ask you to communicate with me a little bit this morning so I know you're getting what I'm trying to communicate.
SPEAKER_02: Philippians 3 and 2 Corinthians chapter 12.
SPEAKER_02: Philippians chapter 3, it's a verse of scripture or two that you've read before if you've been a Christian for a while.
SPEAKER_02: But I want to make a comment on it and then go in off into a in a specialized way.
SPEAKER_02: Look at Philippians chapter 3.
SPEAKER_02: And notice what it says, brethren, verse 13.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 13.
SPEAKER_02: The first verse, first word of verse 13 is brethren.
SPEAKER_02: That means you and I, those that are already saved, those that are already bloodbought, those have already accepted Christ's brethren.
SPEAKER_02: I count not myself to have apprehended.
SPEAKER_02: But this one thing I do.
SPEAKER_02: Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching.
SPEAKER_02: That means they're going after something.
SPEAKER_02: Reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 13 and 14 talks about moving forward with the goal, reaching out, going towards the mark, and going towards that prize of the high calling.
SPEAKER_02: Now, the high calling of God, brethren, has a lot of different uh uh aspects to it.
SPEAKER_02: In fact, uh, in order to get to the high calling of God, please listen to me, we have to depend less on self and more on God.
SPEAKER_02: Agree with that?
SPEAKER_02: In order to get to the high calling and that prize, we have to depend less on self and more on God.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, let me ask you a question.
SPEAKER_02: Um, have you ever noticed that there seems to be a battle within us on who's gonna sit on the throne?
SPEAKER_02: Who's gonna be in control?
SPEAKER_02: Now, maybe you don't face that battle.
SPEAKER_02: Maybe your life was just all perfect, and you can just amen us as we're struggling, okay?
SPEAKER_02: But I face sometimes this battle within where there's a throne set up, and throne that means there's a control.
SPEAKER_02: Who has control?
SPEAKER_02: And the control is between self, old nature, and God.
SPEAKER_02: And there's a struggle sometime, who gets to sit on the throne that day?
SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_02: Now, somebody says, I'm not gonna say a word, that's because self's on the throne, amen.
SPEAKER_02: The idea is self has to relinquish control of the throne, of control, and give it over to God.
SPEAKER_02: And may I say to you that the more God has control, the more he can do with us.
SPEAKER_02: If we're gonna get to the high calling and that prize that he has for us, then we have to, if you would, work to get self off the throne, which God automatically then comes in and takes control of what he already owns, anyways.
SPEAKER_02: Now, I gotta tell you something.
SPEAKER_02: The process of getting self off the throne is not an easy process.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, would you agree with that?
SPEAKER_02: The self of keeping, no, the process of keeping self off the throne.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody says, give me some scripture.
SPEAKER_02: I die daily.
SPEAKER_02: You know what I die daily means?
SPEAKER_02: Self is not on the throne.
SPEAKER_02: I am crucified with Christ.
SPEAKER_02: You know what that means?
SPEAKER_02: I am not on the throne.
SPEAKER_02: He is on the throne.
SPEAKER_02: He's in control.
SPEAKER_02: Reckon yourselves what?
SPEAKER_02: Dead.
SPEAKER_02: The idea is self is not going to control, except a cord of wheat fall on the ground and what?
SPEAKER_02: Die.
SPEAKER_02: It's talking about self-dying, so God can get on that throne and stabilize our lives.
SPEAKER_02: And it seems like this: the process by which self dies, and the process by which self, if you would, uh, relinquishes control is a very difficult process.
SPEAKER_02: You know why?
SPEAKER_02: Please listen to me.
SPEAKER_02: Because in order for that to happen, self has to fail.
SPEAKER_02: Huh?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: The hardest process is God putting us into a situation where he already knows self will fail.
SPEAKER_02: And then we look at ourselves and say, why couldn't I do that?
SPEAKER_02: Why couldn't I accomplish that?
SPEAKER_02: It's frustrating, it's irritating, it's depressing, it's humbling.
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
SPEAKER_02: It's angering.
SPEAKER_02: We beat ourselves.
SPEAKER_02: Come, do you know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_02: Some of y'all are looking at me like, you got a problem, preacher?
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and so do you.
SPEAKER_02: Our problem is there's a carnal nature in us that's enmity with God.
SPEAKER_02: It's the enemy of God.
SPEAKER_02: And they battle each other sometimes.
SPEAKER_02: And the process of uh of self-dying and this statement, I must decrease, he must what?
SPEAKER_02: Increase.
SPEAKER_02: In order for him to have the control he wants, and therefore, when we have success, we don't think we did it.
SPEAKER_02: Now, somebody somebody might ask, why this process that God has?
SPEAKER_02: Because when God makes us successful, then it doesn't lift us up in pride, thinking we did it because God resisteth the who?
SPEAKER_02: Say it, but giveth grace to the.
SPEAKER_02: So somebody gets saved.
SPEAKER_02: And boy, everything goes along great for a while, and then all of a sudden they lose confidence in themselves.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody says, Oh, what happened to you?
SPEAKER_02: You became a Christian, and you used to you used to be so sure of yourself, and now look at you.
SPEAKER_02: You're a mess! That's part of the process.
SPEAKER_02: This is Howie Johnson, he's been through the process.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: The idea is this.
SPEAKER_02: You look at it, you say, look at yourself.
SPEAKER_02: What a then, maybe I was more strong and stable when I wasn't a Christian.
SPEAKER_02: Now, I don't know, I'm not so sure of myself.
SPEAKER_02: Good.
SPEAKER_02: Because if self will get off the throne, you can become sure of God in you.
SPEAKER_02: Amen?
SPEAKER_02: Now, don't miss what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_02: Well, you just want us to, you know, you just want to.
SPEAKER_02: What about self-esteem?
SPEAKER_02: Now, I'm not talking about, well, see, if you have low self-esteem, then you're depressed and all that.
SPEAKER_02: But see, if self dies and God takes over, you won't be depressed.
SPEAKER_02: You won't be depressed.
SPEAKER_02: In fact, the depressing part is when you look at self and you say, I can't trust you.
SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_02: I've looked at self before and said, I've looked at myself in the mirror and said, I know who's behind that face.
SPEAKER_02: You say, You are strange, preacher.
SPEAKER_02: I've looked at behind that mirror and I said, Look at you.
SPEAKER_02: I can't trust you.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: God bless the people.
SPEAKER_02: Now the world would say, you need to go lay on somebody's couch somewhere.
SPEAKER_02: No, I've been, I've been, I've been laying on the right couch.
SPEAKER_02: I've been getting the right counsel.
SPEAKER_02: If we're successful and self is the one who's successful, then we think we did it, and now we're at enmity with God.
SPEAKER_02: Look at 2 Corinthians 12.
SPEAKER_02: So far, I think we're okay.
SPEAKER_02: It's going to get worse.
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
SPEAKER_02: 2 Corinthians chapter 12.
SPEAKER_02: Foundational scripture again.
SPEAKER_02: You know the story if you've read it before.
SPEAKER_02: It's about Paul.
SPEAKER_02: He's got an infirmity that's hindering him.
SPEAKER_02: And he goes to God and he asks God to take away this infirmity.
SPEAKER_02: This this thing in its body, if you would, that's hindering him.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 7.
SPEAKER_02: Lest I should be exalted above major pride, through the abundance of the revelations.
SPEAKER_02: You see, Paul knew a lot.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: God revealed to Paul a great deal about what was going on in this world, in the spiritual realm.
SPEAKER_02: He says, unless I should be exalted, unless pride came in, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh.
SPEAKER_02: That thorn was to keep him humble.
SPEAKER_02: The messenger of Satan above me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
SPEAKER_02: For this thing, that thorn, I besought the Lord three times, thrice, that it might depart from me.
SPEAKER_02: Oh God, take this away.
SPEAKER_02: Oh God, take this away three times.
SPEAKER_02: Oh God, take this away.
SPEAKER_02: And each time God said, No.
SPEAKER_02: And he said unto me, here's the answer.
SPEAKER_02: My grace is sufficient for thee.
SPEAKER_02: You know what that means?
SPEAKER_02: Live with it, Paul.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, amen.
SPEAKER_02: Just live with it.
SPEAKER_02: And Paul ought to be good for you, because this will keep you from getting proud when I use you.
unknown: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: Did I leave some of y'all back at self-esteem?
SPEAKER_02: Oh, God, use me.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I want to use you.
SPEAKER_02: But I can't use you if you think you're doing it.
SPEAKER_02: Because then you would get exalted above measure, and then it would be proud, and I have to resist you if you're proud.
SPEAKER_02: So here's what I have to do: I have to give you some things in your life that makes you weak.
SPEAKER_02: That kills off self.
SPEAKER_02: And he said, verse 9, My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in what?
SPEAKER_02: Say it.
SPEAKER_02: Weakness.
SPEAKER_02: Whose weakness?
SPEAKER_02: Our weakness.
SPEAKER_02: Therefore, self has to get weak for God to get strong.
SPEAKER_02: Does that make any sense?
SPEAKER_02: And you see, the world would come in and say, What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02: Self has to get weak for God has to get strong.
SPEAKER_02: What in the world is that all about?
SPEAKER_02: See, if someone doesn't really understand this concept, most gladly, therefore, Paul says this, Well, I'd rather glory in my infirmities.
SPEAKER_02: That the power of Christ may rest upon me.
SPEAKER_02: Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, that produces weakness.
SPEAKER_02: In reproaches, that produces weaknesses.
SPEAKER_02: In necessities, it produces weaknesses.
SPEAKER_02: In persecutions and distresses for Christ's sake.
SPEAKER_02: Watch verse 10 now, get the concept.
SPEAKER_02: For when I am what?
SPEAKER_02: Say it.
SPEAKER_02: Weak.
SPEAKER_02: Then am I what?
SPEAKER_02: Somebody says, Who wrote that?
SPEAKER_02: God wrote that.
SPEAKER_02: And unless somebody has God in them, they have a hard time understanding that.
SPEAKER_02: When I am weak, then am I strong.
SPEAKER_02: Huh?
SPEAKER_02: When I am weak, then am I strong?
SPEAKER_02: The weaker I get, the stronger he can become in me.
SPEAKER_02: The weaker self is on the throne, the more able God is able to come in and say, now I'm on the throne, I'm in control.
SPEAKER_02: Let me make something out of your life.
SPEAKER_02: You would mess it up.
SPEAKER_02: If you followed your desires, you know what I've learned about myself?
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, if you think I'm talking about me, me, me, me, me, I'm the only experience I have.
SPEAKER_02: Let me say it again.
SPEAKER_02: I'm the only experience I have.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody says, Well, I went there and all he did is talk about himself.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I talked about how weak I am.
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe that.
SPEAKER_02: I want to go to church where the preacher stands up and says, How great everything is.
SPEAKER_02: Come back tonight.
SPEAKER_02: Tonight.
SPEAKER_02: I'll say that.
SPEAKER_02: But this morning I want to tell you, which I believe is God's leading, that some of the most frustrating times we have is when God says, All right, you're born in the pressure cooker.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna turn up the heat.
SPEAKER_02: So you see that you can't trust in self.
SPEAKER_02: And therefore, when self can't be trusted, you must trust in me.
SPEAKER_02: And he turns up the heat.
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_02: Uh give me a job, family, relationship, finances, health.
SPEAKER_02: You name it.
SPEAKER_02: You mean when God literally put this in us and put us through this to show us that self can't be trusted?
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, case in point.
SPEAKER_02: Illustration.
SPEAKER_02: Mark 14.
SPEAKER_02: Would you turn there?
SPEAKER_02: Mark 14, Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: Let me just give you one illustration.
SPEAKER_02: There's so many, but I'll give you one.
SPEAKER_02: Mark 14, Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: You may be going through something right now.
SPEAKER_02: And you may say, I just don't even know.
SPEAKER_02: Boy, I'm here, but I don't know if I'm in God's will, what's going on.
SPEAKER_02: It just seems like I'm going, man, I just seem to be really in it.
SPEAKER_02: Maybe God is putting you through a process right now to where he's wanting self to have less control so he can have more control, so in the end, he can do more with you.
SPEAKER_02: Mark 14.
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, here's the way it works: Mark 14, Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: When self dies, and we understand truly that it's God in us that's doing it now, then success can come, but when it comes, then God gets the glory.
SPEAKER_02: That's what God wants is the glory.
SPEAKER_02: And that's what God, listen to me, deserves.
SPEAKER_02: The glory.
SPEAKER_02: The accolades.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, amen.
SPEAKER_02: Look, if you would, and notice this process.
SPEAKER_02: Look at Mark chapter 14.
SPEAKER_02: And you know this, but in relation to this, verse 26.
SPEAKER_02: When they had sung in hymn, they went out into the Mount of Olives.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus saith unto them, he's got his apostles around, all ye shall be offended because of me this night.
SPEAKER_02: Not going to get offended.
SPEAKER_02: For it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.
SPEAKER_02: After that I'm risen, I will go before you into Galilee.
SPEAKER_02: Peter said unto him, although all shall be offended, yet will not say it.
SPEAKER_02: Who's talking there?
SPEAKER_02: That's Peter's self.
SPEAKER_02: Amen?
SPEAKER_02: Not me, God.
SPEAKER_02: Not me, Jesus.
SPEAKER_02: You may be talking about all those other guys, but you're not talking about me.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, amen.
SPEAKER_02: Self is way too strong.
SPEAKER_02: We can tell that already, amen.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 30.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, that this day and this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 31, Self is real strong in Peter.
SPEAKER_02: But he spake the more vehemently.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, he gets excited.
SPEAKER_02: If I should die with thee, I will not deny thee in any wise.
SPEAKER_02: Likewise also they they all.
SPEAKER_02: Peter is kind of the leader saying, No, you don't know what's going to happen.
SPEAKER_02: I do.
SPEAKER_02: So let me tell you what I know about myself.
SPEAKER_02: This guy is not going to deny you.
SPEAKER_02: They all may.
SPEAKER_02: But not me.
SPEAKER_02: I know me.
SPEAKER_02: Got it?
SPEAKER_02: I wonder if Jesus kind of walked away and said.
SPEAKER_02: Now let me ask you a question.
SPEAKER_02: Did Jesus know what was going to happen to him?
SPEAKER_02: In fact, he said, Simon, you know what?
SPEAKER_02: Satan's desire to sift thee.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to let him do it.
SPEAKER_02: That's over in the book of John, about the same context.
SPEAKER_02: But Peter says, I know self, and self is speaking here.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, by the way, look what happens in verse 66.
SPEAKER_02: Mark 14, 66, with this concept in mind.
SPEAKER_02: It's a tough process.
SPEAKER_02: Peter was beneath the palace.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus had already been taken.
SPEAKER_02: Standing around this group.
SPEAKER_02: And there cometh one of the maids.
SPEAKER_02: By the way, a maid is a young lady of the high priest.
SPEAKER_02: And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked upon him and said, And thou also was with Jesus of Nazareth.
SPEAKER_02: Now they've already taken Jesus and looking maybe for some of his cohorts, and she says, You were with Jesus too.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 68.
SPEAKER_02: But he what?
SPEAKER_02: Say it.
SPEAKER_02: Now I thought he said he'd never deny.
SPEAKER_02: I thought he was vehement at me and said, Hey, even if I die with you, I'll not deny you.
SPEAKER_02: And here's your little girl comes up and says, weren't you with Jesus?
SPEAKER_02: He said, No.
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know him.
SPEAKER_02: But he nied, saying, Watch, I know not.
SPEAKER_02: Neither understand I what thou sayest.
SPEAKER_02: He he he plays the dumb card.
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_02: That's a lie.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, is it?
SPEAKER_02: Yes or no?
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't I don't even understand what you're saying.
SPEAKER_02: Someone's like, Jesus, who's he?
SPEAKER_02: And he went out in the porch, and the cock said, Cockadoodle-doo, number one.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, is that what you're reading?
SPEAKER_02: Peter, you're about ready to die a little bit more to self.
SPEAKER_02: Cockadoodle-doo, number one.
SPEAKER_02: And a maid saw him again.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 69, and began to say to them that stood by.
SPEAKER_02: Now she's not just talking to Peter, she's talking to all the group around there.
SPEAKER_02: This is one of them.
SPEAKER_02: And he denied it again.
SPEAKER_02: Second time he said he wouldn't, he did.
SPEAKER_02: Let me make a statement.
SPEAKER_02: We don't know self as well as we think we do.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, do you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02: We don't really know self as well as we think we do.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I know myself.
SPEAKER_02: I'm in touch with myself.
SPEAKER_02: I've studied myself, I've analyzed myself.
SPEAKER_02: I'm boy, if you do, you'll get depressed.
SPEAKER_02: Amen?
SPEAKER_02: I'm in touch with myself.
SPEAKER_02: What are you touching?
SPEAKER_02: What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you see?
SPEAKER_02: I tell you what, when I got in touch with myself after I became a Christian, that's when I really got in touch with myself.
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't until I became a Christian that I still uh that I understood myself.
SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you what I found about me.
SPEAKER_02: I can't depend on me compared to God.
SPEAKER_02: Compared to God, me is not able.
SPEAKER_02: Compared to God, me is not strong enough and powerful enough to handle it.
SPEAKER_02: Compared to God, me is too unstable.
SPEAKER_02: Now, nobody wants to say amen because you I don't want to say amen, that's all true about you.
SPEAKER_02: Compared to what God me is very defensive and doesn't take correction easily.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody says, that's right.
SPEAKER_02: How do you know?
SPEAKER_02: I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_02: We're that way, aren't we?
SPEAKER_02: Compared to God, me, is a loser.
SPEAKER_02: Oh man, you're putting yourself down.
SPEAKER_02: Boy, don't do that.
SPEAKER_02: The way up is down.
SPEAKER_02: The way to God losing us is for self to lay down and say, you're not on the throne anymore.
SPEAKER_02: Get in the grave.
SPEAKER_02: But the only way that can happen is for self to fail and falter and have shortcomings.
SPEAKER_02: And then you look and you say, I'm putting too much confidence in me.
SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02: This should not be depressing, this should be uplifting.
SPEAKER_02: Because if you're going through a process like Peter went through, where God is sifty, allowing to be sifted, and you're finding out that you know what?
SPEAKER_02: I can't trust me.
SPEAKER_02: I can't trust self.
SPEAKER_02: It'd be better if stuff got out of the way, and it would be better if I relinquish myself and let God be formed in me.
SPEAKER_02: I know right now, somebody in here is thinking, this guy needs a psychologist.
SPEAKER_02: His self-esteem about himself is just very, very low.
SPEAKER_02: He he he must have gone through some depressions and hurt and heartache and frustration.
SPEAKER_02: You know, I wonder if he's a drunk.
SPEAKER_02: No, no, listen, to go out and get drunk would hinder the process.
SPEAKER_02: Let me say that again.
SPEAKER_02: If God's working on me, to go out and get drunk and escape would hinder the process of killing self.
SPEAKER_02: Amen?
SPEAKER_02: To go out and do drugs would hinder the process of growth.
SPEAKER_02: Because that's just an escape.
SPEAKER_02: That's just masking it.
SPEAKER_02: To get bitter would hinder the process.
SPEAKER_02: Oh God, I'm bitter at you because you're showing me who I really am and I don't want to know.
SPEAKER_02: To blame shift.
SPEAKER_02: It's not my fault, it's Willie's.
SPEAKER_02: It's not my fault, it's Bill's.
SPEAKER_02: It's not my fault, it's Roger's.
SPEAKER_02: It's not my fault, it's Howie's.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I knew somebody would say amen on that.
SPEAKER_02: It's not my fault, it's someone else's fault.
SPEAKER_02: I hinder my growth.
SPEAKER_02: Because it's so easy just to say, no, I'm okay, it's their fault.
SPEAKER_02: Therefore, I don't have to look at self.
SPEAKER_02: Are y'all thinking or am I losing y'all?
SPEAKER_02: We still okay?
SPEAKER_02: I hope you're thinking.
SPEAKER_02: Because this is a process of growth.
SPEAKER_02: Humble down, and God lifts us up.
SPEAKER_02: But it's not us.
SPEAKER_02: I am crucified with Christ.
SPEAKER_02: Nevertheless, I live, yet not I.
SPEAKER_02: The life that I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God.
SPEAKER_02: For when I am weak, then am I strong.
SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02: It's such a better way to live life.
SPEAKER_02: But the process of seeing self, that's a killer.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm talking about, have you ever laid it up at night and just, oh man.
SPEAKER_02: Your mind is racing and you're looking at yourself and it's just ugly, and you're seeing yourself, and God kind of pulls back the curtain on another part of who you are, and you go, oh, I don't want to see it.
SPEAKER_02: You say, man, you all have a depressed church here.
SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
SPEAKER_02: We're very happy about the Lord working in us.
SPEAKER_02: We just don't put much confidence in ourselves.
SPEAKER_02: But we have a lot of confidence in God in us.
SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02: Somebody says, Well, what happens when you get confidence in you that God can do it?
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I can do all things through Christ.
SPEAKER_02: That's no problem.
SPEAKER_02: I can do that with God's help.
SPEAKER_02: I just can't do it if I just trust in my abilities.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: So the concept of what Peter's going through here is really good, but it's hurtful.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 71, are we still there?
SPEAKER_02: And he denominated again.
SPEAKER_02: Remember, he said, I will never denominate it.
SPEAKER_02: And a little after they that stood by said unto Peter.
SPEAKER_02: Third time, surely thou art one of them.
SPEAKER_02: For thou art again away in thy speech, agreeeth thereunto.
SPEAKER_02: Watch verse 71.
SPEAKER_02: Peter's the one who said never deny.
SPEAKER_02: That was self-speaking.
SPEAKER_02: But he that self began to what?
SPEAKER_02: Say it again to what?
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: And he used to be a fisherman, and fishermen can curse.
SPEAKER_02: Man, he begins to curse and to swear.
SPEAKER_02: You talk about old nature saying, I know not this man, whom you speak, blankety blanketly blank.
SPEAKER_02: And the second time, the cock, cock oodle-doos.
SPEAKER_02: And Peter calls to mind, that means he remembers, the word that Jesus said unto him.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm going to tell you something, it hit him like a ton of bricks.
SPEAKER_02: Just what he said we would all do, and I said, no way.
SPEAKER_02: No way, everybody else do it, not me.
SPEAKER_02: I have done it.
SPEAKER_02: I'm such a rat.
SPEAKER_02: I'm such a loser.
SPEAKER_02: I can't even stand up for the one who's done all that for me.
SPEAKER_02: Look at me.
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like, I don't know why you'd want to use me.
SPEAKER_02: Boy, you used to be so confident.
SPEAKER_02: Look at you now.
SPEAKER_02: You're a mess.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, look at you.
SPEAKER_02: You beat yourself up.
SPEAKER_02: You analyze yourself.
SPEAKER_02: You don't like yourself.
SPEAKER_02: Look at you.
SPEAKER_02: You just, you just, what happened to you, man?
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if Christianity's been good for you.
SPEAKER_02: But hang around for a while.
SPEAKER_02: There has to be a breaking first before there's a strengthening.
SPEAKER_02: If I were you, I'd just get away from that stuff.
SPEAKER_02: I think they brainwashed you.
SPEAKER_02: And the answer is, I'm going through the process of washing my brain right now.
SPEAKER_02: I'm washing my brain of me.
SPEAKER_02: But it's not an easy process.
SPEAKER_02: But God knows I have to go through it.
SPEAKER_02: So He can use me.
SPEAKER_02: Look, if you would at Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
SPEAKER_02: You're doing well.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I hope I'm getting this across.
SPEAKER_02: Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: It's such, people look at this as so negative, but it really isn't.
SPEAKER_02: It's really positive.
SPEAKER_02: Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: We won't go through the whole thing, but if you want to read it sometime, you're starting about verse 54.
SPEAKER_02: Peter follows afar off in verse 54 of Luke 22.
SPEAKER_02: Remember, he said, I'll never deny you.
SPEAKER_02: And he comes into the fire there in verse 54, 55.
SPEAKER_02: He sets down among them the maid, says, uh, thus uh this man was also with them.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 57, he denies it.
SPEAKER_02: Woman, I know him not.
SPEAKER_02: A little while another saw him and said, Thou also of him?
SPEAKER_02: Peter said, Man, I'm not.
SPEAKER_02: Again, about the space of another hour, about three hours worth, all it took.
SPEAKER_02: And Peter said, verse 60, I know not what thou sayest.
SPEAKER_02: Watch verse 61.
SPEAKER_02: Another segment of the story.
SPEAKER_02: And the Lord turned and looked upon Peter.
SPEAKER_02: Peter was down by the fire, and the Lord was probably in a place up above or something where they could see each other.
SPEAKER_02: And the Lord turned upon and looked upon Peter.
SPEAKER_02: I don't know really how this happened, but the Peter remembered the word of the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: How he had said unto him, before the cock crow, thou shalt die in thrice.
SPEAKER_02: And look at verse 62.
SPEAKER_02: Watch.
SPEAKER_02: This is where it gets hard.
SPEAKER_02: And Peter went out and what?
SPEAKER_02: Wept.
SPEAKER_02: But don't miss the next word.
SPEAKER_02: What?
SPEAKER_02: Bitterly.
SPEAKER_02: You say, how do you think he went out?
SPEAKER_02: I think after the Lord looked upon him, whether eyes met or not, and Peter remembered what the Lord said he would do, it just hit him.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not all what I think I am.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not all what I've made myself out to be.
SPEAKER_02: I can't even.
SPEAKER_02: I failed.
SPEAKER_02: And the Bible says he walks out and he weeps bitterly.
SPEAKER_02: And I asked you a question, what's going through his mind?
SPEAKER_02: He failed.
SPEAKER_02: He faltered.
SPEAKER_02: He didn't meet the mark.
SPEAKER_02: He learned something about himself.
SPEAKER_02: You ever been there?
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna make a statement.
SPEAKER_02: If someone's a Christian and just visits Christianity once in a while and reads their Bible every other month once and goes to church every four or five months or something like that, they may go through some processes, but they won't understand what they're going through and why.
SPEAKER_02: Those who decide, you know what, I'm gonna be consistent.
SPEAKER_02: I want to stay in this book every day.
SPEAKER_02: I want to be involved in preaching.
SPEAKER_02: I want to grow.
SPEAKER_02: I want to be focused on it.
SPEAKER_02: I'll still work in this world and whatever job, but I really want to grow, and I really want to really want to be a committed Christian, and I really want for self to get off the throne and for God to take over.
SPEAKER_02: We'll go through processes every once in a while where we'll just only think we've seen self as is at its worst.
SPEAKER_02: Look up here, please.
SPEAKER_02: We'll go through another phase of the process, and God will say, now I'm ready to show you more about yourself.
SPEAKER_02: And you're ready to receive it.
SPEAKER_02: But God will never take us to the place where He shows us too much where we just are destroyed.
SPEAKER_02: He'll never cause us to be tempted above that which were, say it, able.
SPEAKER_02: Able to bear up.
SPEAKER_02: He'll never allow us to be tested or tried.
SPEAKER_02: I wish you'd come back tonight.
SPEAKER_02: Above that which were able.
SPEAKER_02: But please, with every testing, there's a purpose.
SPEAKER_02: Peter, please, sees himself like he's never seen himself before.
SPEAKER_02: But if you could see it from God's eyes, God says, Peter, you have to go through this because I'm gonna use you at Pentecost.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna use you at the Church of Antioch.
SPEAKER_02: You're becoming a leader, and you have to see yourself.
SPEAKER_02: So later on, when I exalt you and use you, you will not think it's you.
SPEAKER_02: Peter, I'm gonna let you heal people.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna let you see visions.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna let you do so much for me, but unless you see who you are, you'll think you did it.
SPEAKER_02: So I have to take you through this process, Peter.
SPEAKER_02: So you see that you can't rely on self.
SPEAKER_02: You can't rely on your pride, Peter.
SPEAKER_02: You can't rely that you'll never deny me.
SPEAKER_02: Let me show you that you can't even keep your own promise to yourself.
SPEAKER_02: Let alone to others.
SPEAKER_02: Let me show you how wretched you are inside, Peter.
SPEAKER_02: Because once you see it, then we can kill off self, and you won't want to keep digging him up.
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
SPEAKER_02: And you'll be willing to forget those things.
SPEAKER_02: Please look up here that are what?
SPEAKER_02: Behind.
SPEAKER_02: And reach forward to those things that are before.
SPEAKER_02: You may be in a job, executive, uh, laborer, worker, whatever your task is in life, and you may say, well, does that mean I've got to, you know, drop out of the military or change up?
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_02: That just means you can be more successful as a Christian.
SPEAKER_02: But you won't think it's you.
SPEAKER_02: You'll know it's him.
SPEAKER_02: You'll know that he orchestrated it.
SPEAKER_02: Some of y'all right now are facing great promotions in life.
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
SPEAKER_02: Nothing wrong with that.
SPEAKER_02: But you probably have already gone through a process or are going through a process where he's killing off self.
SPEAKER_02: And it hurts.
SPEAKER_02: And it angers and it frustrates and it depresses and it causes weeping.
SPEAKER_02: Two weeks ago.
SPEAKER_01: Maybe the time frame's not quite right, but a period of time ago.
SPEAKER_01: God was showing me something about self.
SPEAKER_02: And I come home now.
SPEAKER_02: And the stress and the pressures and trying to help people and just all that kind of build up.
SPEAKER_02: And my wife could tell.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not ashamed to admit that I just broke down weeping in front of my wife.
SPEAKER_02: And she said, Come here.
SPEAKER_02: And I was a little resistant.
SPEAKER_02: And she said, Come here.
SPEAKER_02: And I just kind of curled up and wept, and she held me.
SPEAKER_02: Now you may say I'd never admit that.
SPEAKER_01: Well, what have I to hide?
SPEAKER_01: I know the why.
SPEAKER_01: I know the process.
SPEAKER_01: I've been through it before.
SPEAKER_01: It's nothing to be ashamed about.
SPEAKER_01: It's nothing to hide.
SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes people go through it and they think, what's wrong with me?
SPEAKER_01: Nothing's wrong with you.
SPEAKER_01: God's using you.
SPEAKER_01: And I started shaking it.
SPEAKER_01: Just come out.
SPEAKER_02: You say, man, you about ready to snap or what, preacher?
SPEAKER_02: When you come to the end of another phase of self, you feel like you're about ready to snap.
SPEAKER_02: And then the Holy Ghost sweeps in and says, All right.
SPEAKER_02: End of another phase.
SPEAKER_02: Let me strengthen you again.
SPEAKER_02: You've had as much as you can bear right now.
SPEAKER_02: You've seen enough of self as you possibly can right now.
SPEAKER_02: So let me just sweep back in and give you strength again.
SPEAKER_02: Until the next time.
SPEAKER_02: Do you understand what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02: Ladies, you think you're the only ones.
SPEAKER_02: But someone who's gone through spiritual growth, whether man or woman, sometimes, I don't think it's that easy.
SPEAKER_02: Because we have to face who we are.
SPEAKER_02: And you know what we used to do?
SPEAKER_02: Defend self all the time.
SPEAKER_02: And I've got to the place I don't want to defend him.
SPEAKER_02: He's not worth defending.
SPEAKER_02: He's of the earth, earthly.
SPEAKER_02: He's carnal.
SPEAKER_02: No, I'd rather be heavenly.
SPEAKER_02: Not the first Adam, the last Adam.
SPEAKER_02: And the last Adam looks and says, why defend him?
SPEAKER_02: He hindered you all those years.
SPEAKER_02: Let him die.
SPEAKER_02: And part of the process is a grieving and a mourning process.
SPEAKER_02: I need to show you one more scripture.
SPEAKER_02: We've got five minutes.
SPEAKER_02: We okay?
SPEAKER_02: If you're visiting here today, you may say, Well, you know what?
SPEAKER_02: I don't think we better go back there.
SPEAKER_02: That guy's got some serious mental problems.
SPEAKER_02: And you know what bothers me even more?
SPEAKER_02: The rest of the people were saying amen, which means they understand his mental problems.
SPEAKER_02: So there's a bunch of fruit cakes down there.
SPEAKER_02: Look at Psalms 107.
SPEAKER_02: We used it before.
SPEAKER_02: Let me use it today.
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna tell you something, sir, ma'am.
SPEAKER_02: People go through this process all the time.
SPEAKER_02: They just don't know what they're going through.
SPEAKER_02: They don't know the why.
SPEAKER_02: And therefore they don't handle it as well.
SPEAKER_02: Psalms 107.
SPEAKER_02: You mean God would allow you to go through something where there's tears and weak knees and shaking mind and sleepless nights and to where you just get to look at yourself and say, you know, I just compared to God, I I I can't trust you.
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, look at Psalms 107.
SPEAKER_02: Watch.
SPEAKER_02: Now, this is the book.
SPEAKER_02: And and let me say this.
SPEAKER_02: Look up here just for a moment.
SPEAKER_02: Would you please?
SPEAKER_02: God formed us.
SPEAKER_02: He knows mankind.
SPEAKER_02: He knows men and women better than anybody, and then he wrote a book to explain to us who and what we are.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, amen.
SPEAKER_02: This book was already, somebody says, Well, did he form mankind and then make the book, or did he make the book and then form mankind?
SPEAKER_02: Who hath known the mind of the Lord?
SPEAKER_02: He had this all planned.
SPEAKER_02: So as we study the book, we're learning about ourselves.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, if we're sitting here going, boy, that was a good message for so-and-so, you missed it.
SPEAKER_02: Because self was saying all the time, it's not for you.
SPEAKER_02: It's not for you.
SPEAKER_02: It's not us.
SPEAKER_02: No, it's not us.
SPEAKER_02: We're okay.
SPEAKER_02: It's not us.
SPEAKER_02: No, that just apply to us.
SPEAKER_02: No.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's that's that little thing applies, but the rest of it, that's for so-and-so over there.
SPEAKER_02: Come on, amen.
SPEAKER_02: Psalms 107, watch.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 24.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 23.
SPEAKER_02: They that go down to the sea in ships that do business in great waters.
SPEAKER_02: They're going to do something for God.
SPEAKER_02: Watch.
SPEAKER_02: These see the works of the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: His wonders in the deep.
SPEAKER_02: For who commandeth?
SPEAKER_02: He does.
SPEAKER_02: He brings the trial.
SPEAKER_02: He allows the trial.
SPEAKER_02: He commandeth and raises up the stormy wind.
SPEAKER_02: So here comes the storm.
SPEAKER_02: Which lifted up the waves thereof.
SPEAKER_02: They, the waves mount up to heaven.
SPEAKER_02: They go down again to the depths.
SPEAKER_02: Watch.
SPEAKER_02: Their soul is what?
SPEAKER_02: Say it again, what?
SPEAKER_02: Because of what?
SPEAKER_02: You might want to put a little note there.
SPEAKER_02: That self-decreasing.
SPEAKER_02: That self-dying.
SPEAKER_02: That melting.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 27.
SPEAKER_02: They reel to and fro.
SPEAKER_02: Stagger like a drunken man.
SPEAKER_02: Confused without direction, if you would.
SPEAKER_02: Well, it doesn't say that.
SPEAKER_02: Watch.
SPEAKER_02: You ought to underline this.
SPEAKER_02: And are at their wits say it.
SPEAKER_02: Oh man, that's it.
SPEAKER_02: If I could just come to the end of my own wit.
SPEAKER_02: Then I wouldn't have to go through this anymore.
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
SPEAKER_02: If I would just come to the end of my own intellectualism.
SPEAKER_02: Now there's nothing wrong with being intelligent.
SPEAKER_02: But it's better to say anything I know, I know because God's allowed me to know.
SPEAKER_02: Not because of my abilities to know.
SPEAKER_02: It's almost like you're saying you're nothing and he's everything.
SPEAKER_02: Now you're getting it.
SPEAKER_02: We are possessed.
SPEAKER_02: I'm nothing.
SPEAKER_02: He's everything.
SPEAKER_02: Well, what do you walk around with stooped shoulders all day?
SPEAKER_02: No.
SPEAKER_02: My shoulders only stoop at night.
SPEAKER_02: No, just kidding.
SPEAKER_02: No, but you walk around inside going, okay, Lord, what today?
SPEAKER_02: Who can I help today?
SPEAKER_02: What am I to learn today?
SPEAKER_02: Whether you're working in a job or relationships, God, what is it today?
SPEAKER_02: They come to their wits in.
SPEAKER_02: The end of it.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 28, and they cried to the Lord in their trouble.
SPEAKER_02: And what does he do?
SPEAKER_02: He bringeth them out of their distresses.
SPEAKER_02: He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
SPEAKER_02: Make a statement to you.
SPEAKER_02: They are unable to calm that storm.
SPEAKER_02: They don't have the power, they don't have the resources, they don't have the wherewithal to calm that storm.
SPEAKER_02: So they cry to the one who can calm the storm, who is in control.
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever felt like you're in a situation where you are totally helpless?
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, in your own intellect, you have really no way of affecting the situation.
SPEAKER_02: You are powerless.
SPEAKER_02: It is beyond you as a man or a woman.
SPEAKER_02: There's nothing I'm able to do.
SPEAKER_02: It's beyond my realm of flesh.
SPEAKER_02: I can't reach in and do anything in that situation.
SPEAKER_02: But God can.
SPEAKER_02: Let me step out of the way and die.
SPEAKER_02: And God, you step in.
SPEAKER_02: But God has to wait till we step aside.
SPEAKER_02: They cry unto the Lord, and He bringeth them out of their distresses.
SPEAKER_02: Watch, He maketh the storm of calm, verse 29, so that the waves are still, then they are, then are they glad.
SPEAKER_02: You read on down, it talks about people praising God and exalting.
SPEAKER_02: Him.
SPEAKER_02: You know, before I got saved, I used to have my mind all together, I thought.
SPEAKER_02: Now, my mind is a bowl of jelly.
SPEAKER_02: It quivers.
SPEAKER_02: What is going on?
SPEAKER_02: How do I get it to stop from quivering?
SPEAKER_02: Lose confidence in self and get confidence in God in us.
SPEAKER_02: That it's his mind now.
SPEAKER_02: That it's Christ formed in us.
SPEAKER_02: That it's his personality.
SPEAKER_02: That it's literally, ladies, the hidden man of the heart, him.
SPEAKER_02: And he's the one that's going to cause me to do more than I ever could have done if I would have just stayed with self.
SPEAKER_02: So I better glory in these infirmities.
SPEAKER_02: And I better let him take me through this process.
SPEAKER_02: Because I won't and can't and will not be able to do it the way it needs to be done.
SPEAKER_02: So I'll let him do it.
SPEAKER_02: And it'll hurt, and there'll be pain, and there'll heartache and wrenching, and tears, and depression, and anger, and pride, and all those thoughts and feelings.
SPEAKER_02: But here's what I'm not going to do.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to blame this on someone else.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to blame it on self.
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't mean I'm going to be depressed over my self-esteem.
SPEAKER_02: It just means I'm going to put the responsibility on who it should be placed on.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to go back and get drunk or running hiding drunk because it's into the process.
SPEAKER_02: And my time is running out.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to defend them all the time.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not going to manipulate people to think of me better than they should.
SPEAKER_02: By lying through my teeth.
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm not going to go out and say to everybody, I want you to, everybody to know today that I'm a mess inside, okay?
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to stand up and tell everybody how you wept uncontrollably.
SPEAKER_01: But today I did.
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm the preacher.
SPEAKER_01: You say, doesn't that bother you?
SPEAKER_02: I tell you what, I'm much more happy to be alive in the New Testament than what some of those guys had to go through in the Old Testament.
SPEAKER_02: I know one of those guys had to walk around naked for a few years.
SPEAKER_02: This is much better.
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to broadcast to everybody.
SPEAKER_02: But when it comes, you say, hold me in, Lord.
SPEAKER_02: Keep me in the storm.
SPEAKER_02: Don't let me crack.
SPEAKER_02: Does that sound terrible?
SPEAKER_02: Don't let me snap.
SPEAKER_02: I'm trusting you, Father.
SPEAKER_02: Let me learn what I'm supposed to learn.
SPEAKER_02: So I can go help someone else.
SPEAKER_02: And so you can lift me up so I can further your work in some way, shape, or form.
SPEAKER_02: Use me, Lord.
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, in a mild form, that's the way salvation starts.
SPEAKER_02: We look at ourselves and say, you're not able to raise me from the dead.
SPEAKER_02: You're not capable.
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know about you, I'm not coming back as a fly or a horse or a pig.
SPEAKER_02: I don't believe that stuff.
SPEAKER_02: A piece of lid on the carpet or something like that.
SPEAKER_02: No way.
SPEAKER_02: No, we are human beings.
SPEAKER_02: And we exist forever.
SPEAKER_02: It just is a determination of where we will be in eternity.
SPEAKER_02: You are alive right now, and you will exist in some place forever.
SPEAKER_02: Say, how do you know that?
SPEAKER_02: The Bible says so.
SPEAKER_02: We would suggest that you live eternally in heaven with God.
SPEAKER_02: The start of that process is look and saying, self can't get there.
SPEAKER_02: That's all right.
SPEAKER_02: Self cannot make it.
SPEAKER_02: But God can.
SPEAKER_02: This morning, if you've never received Christ, good morning to do it.
SPEAKER_02: If you're going through it right now, look, please, I'm finished.
SPEAKER_02: God.
SPEAKER_02: Help me to see more clearly what I'm going through.
SPEAKER_02: Help me to understand it more clearly.
SPEAKER_02: Help me to see that you're doing something for my good.
SPEAKER_02: Help me to see that God.
SPEAKER_02: It hurts, it's difficult, it's depressing, it's angering, it's frustrating, it's overwhelming, it's anxiety, it's mental instability at times, it's and you say, I don't have any of that.
SPEAKER_02: You don't?
SPEAKER_02: What are you doing for God?
SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes if you're going out into deep waters, it will come.
SPEAKER_02: You take the strongest man or woman you know and say, they never face that.
SPEAKER_02: Talk to them and say, what's behind the curtain?
SPEAKER_02: They'll tell you if they're honest.
SPEAKER_02: I've been through that.
SPEAKER_02: And I know I'll go through it again.
SPEAKER_02: Because God loves me and wants to use me.
SPEAKER_02: And that's part of the process.
SPEAKER_02: Let's stand.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I know the routine preachers.
SPEAKER_02: The next thing is the altar card.
SPEAKER_02: I'm just telling you right now, self's not going down there, okay?
SPEAKER_02: Well, you don't have to come down here.
SPEAKER_02: Maybe not for yourself.
SPEAKER_02: But maybe for the new you.
SPEAKER_02: And I was angry at myself, but then myself said, get angry at you.
SPEAKER_02: So I was.
SPEAKER_02: I realize it's your love.
SPEAKER_02: And I couldn't see your love.
SPEAKER_02: I've got to see what you're doing a little bit clearer.
SPEAKER_02: But I need to see it more clearly.
SPEAKER_02: About two and a half years ago, I lost my confidence for a while.
SPEAKER_02: I lost my confidence.
SPEAKER_02: And almost stepped aside from this church because I didn't want to hinder it.
SPEAKER_02: I really didn't.
SPEAKER_02: And then the Holy Ghost of God swept in and said, that'll be enough for now.
SPEAKER_02: Keep on going.
SPEAKER_02: I hope you understand the message this morning.
SPEAKER_02: And whether you pray for yourself or someone you know, and whether you relate it to what you're going through or relate it to someone and say that that's just what they're going through.
SPEAKER_02: They just can't see it.
SPEAKER_02: Because people have a tendency to run away from Christianity when they don't understand it.
SPEAKER_02: This morning.
SPEAKER_02: Oh God, open my eyes that I might see.
SPEAKER_02: Or open someone else's eyes.
SPEAKER_02: Or Lord, this morning, salvation is what I need.
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know if I died, if I'm on my way to heaven, please.
SPEAKER_02: Father, forgive me.
SPEAKER_02: I've defended self way too long.
SPEAKER_02: It's time to get on with my life for you.
SPEAKER_02: Now, preacher almost perfectly like you can't do anything.
SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
SPEAKER_02: We can do far, far more.
SPEAKER_02: Watching what God does for us, allowing us to walk beside Him with us.