#05 - Gary Lapitan: Discipline Over Hype: The Truth About Fitness & Mindset Most People Get Wrong

In this episode, I sit down with performance and physique coach Gary Lapitan, who works with CEOs and elite athletes, to unpack the psychology of getting in shape. We dive into the habits that fuel long-term results, the mental traps that hold people back, and how social media distorts our idea of “fitness.”

Gary also opens up about his personal journey from the Philippines to Australia, and how resilience, discipline, and identity shaped both his career and his coaching philosophy.

If you’ve ever wondered why staying consistent feels harder than the workout itself — this one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This episode is proudly brought to you by GRecovery, the Central Coast leading destination for health, wellness, and performance recovery. From infrared saunas and compression therapy to ice bars and soft tissue treatments, they've got all the science-backed tools to help you feel and perform at your very best. Head to gerecovery.com.au to book your next session or learn more. That's grecovery.com.au I'm good when you're are you starting? Yeah, I'm good. Sweet. Well, thanks for coming on, mate. I'm keen to have you on. I'm excited, man. For those that yeah, don't know you, give us a bit of an overview of yeah, what you're what you're kind of doing at the minute and the space that you sit in.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Yeah, so I would call myself uh a performance and physique coach. So I work with people who pretty much want to get in shape, they want to perform at a higher level. Um, but even like even just people trying to get into the fitness as well. So whether it's like a transformation they want to achieve or just feel better about themselves.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Are you working with general gym goers, athletes? Well, you both? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

So it used to be field-based sports, that's kind of where I started. But at the minute, it's honestly like bodybuilders, uh, powerlifters, or even we've got endurance people as well. So people getting into running uh half marathons, marathons.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Yeah, sick. Kind of wanted to start off with a bit of your story as to how you got here. I think it's yeah, something I'd planned this whole podcast around certain fitness topics, and then we started chatting, and I was like, scrapped half of it because you've got such an interesting story. So you were born in the Philippines. Yes. And how old were you when you came here?

SPEAKER_01 2:08

I'm gonna say nine.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Nine, yeah. How much do you still remember of the Philippines?

SPEAKER_01 2:14

To be honest, not too much. It comes in like little bits, but from what I remember, it's a it's a totally different world. And I think for me, like coming over here, it was such a shock because for me, I wasn't prepared to come over here. It was uh it was something that sort of happened with our family where I pretty much feel like I was just like flown over here, and then life just like changed in a minute. So, but from like what I remember, it's uh we were living the poor way, and you know, we were living in like a house that was like a tin shed, and you know, you you you kind of didn't know some nights you feel like you're gonna have dinner, and even at like six years old, I remember literally like helping out around a house, doing jobs, um, like sort of pumping water out of the ground. So it's a it's a totally different life. Yeah, whereabouts were you in the Philippines? So small town called Pampunga. It's probably about an hour and a half south ish of Manila, which you pro most people probably know Manila.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Yeah. Have you been back since?

SPEAKER_01 3:18

To the Philippines I have once last year, but not to where I come from. Yeah. Do you think you ever will? Yeah, that's the goal next year. So yeah. I want to go back and and literally just walk like where I used to walk, and I reckon it'd just be like nostalgic and a bunch of stuff will just hit me.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Yeah, definitely. So you moved over here when you're six. Uh, do you come straight to the Central Coast?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

First moved into my uncle and my auntie's house, and that was in Empire Bay. So you grew up there. Great place to grow up. Um, again, very different though, like straight into I guess the Australian culture or the Western culture, where you know, here I remember like everyone had Xboxes, everyone had games, everyone had pools, yeah, and I was like, what is going on? Like everyone would play, you know, 44 Home, like all these stuff that like I was never exposed to. So really, really good. I seen how blessed the kids were here, but for me to fit into that mold was actually kind of hard at the start because when I grew up, it's gonna sound weird, but for kids in the Philippines, you'd literally find like little little rhino beetles, and you'd find another kid and you'd ask if they had a rhino beetle, and you'd literally fight the rhino beetles together, and like they'd like clamp their heads and throw them around. Um, or you'd actually have to use your imagination quite a lot. I remember uh I had this uh, you know, those little like green um army men? Yeah, I had one of them, and I remember climbing up this like huge, steep hill. Like I was about six, but for me it was like maybe five stories high. And I remember just putting a plastic bag around its arms and just throwing them off. Parachuting. Yeah, yeah. But that's literally that was my childhood. That's so good. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I have so many memories of Ben Kidd and like um we'd get the little green army man and sit them at the front of people's doorsteps and play knock and run. And so instead of them opening the door and there's no one there, there's these little green standing story top yeah, love it. Yeah, what was your experience like yeah, in the schooling system here coming from the Philippines and obviously moving to Empire Bay, completely different world? Yeah, how was how was your experience going through school?

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Yeah, so to give you context, um I remember in the Philippines, like our school would have been maybe like three rooms, right? Like just a little bit in this, and like a courtyard that's just dirt, and the school wouldn't have a fence around it. Like it's just it's free game, right? And I remember some days I actually just would just leave. Like us and some of the kids, like we just wouldn't go back to the classroom, we'd like just go for a walk and and we'd just wander into like uh it was like kind of like a wetlandy area, and you just walk, and then I just go home. And I I don't know if the the teachers were worried, like mum never said anything, so I have no idea. So when you come to school here, it was to me, it felt very just controlled, right? So, like you had to do the assembly first, you had to go to the classroom, like we kind of had that a little bit, but not to the extent here. And um also like I feel here the you know, there was just more topics that you actually had to learn. Where in the Philippines it was like we had to learn English, that was a second language, and then it was a lot of like I mean I was younger, but it was just like a lot of like dancing and creativity. Whereas here I felt like it was um more like academic stuff that I had to learn that I didn't necessarily care about. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Yeah, definitely, yeah. How did you find like your social life here?

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Uh it was tough, yeah, first. So when I first come over here, even though I can speak English now, I I could only speak my first language, which is Tagalog. So when I come over here around nine, I don't reckon I actually would have picked up English to a to a fluent enough level until I was like maybe 12-ish. So already at school, I was lucky enough I had like one best friend. He was he was an awesome dude, and um me and him were very close. But apart from that, I kind of felt like I had to make friends with my older cousins sort of group. And I kind of just floated around as like his cousin. Yeah, yeah, and I had to, you know, do the things that they wanted to do, and I had to kind of figure out how their friendship groups were kind of like clicking. But I much older was he? Only a year older, but he even hung out with people older than him, yeah. Yeah, so I always kind of hang out with people older than me. Um, but I actually didn't mind it because I actually spent a lot of time as a kid by myself, anyways. So I was kind of felt like I was living this double life, like I'd go hang out with him and his friends, and then I'd just go hang out by myself and I'd just do my own thing. And being in the country, when you're like 12 years old, where you don't really know what's going on, I found it exciting to kind of just venture out to try different things on your own, yeah. Yeah, so like me, me and the best friend that I was talking about, um, his name's Dale. We literally at one point he was living in a caravan like behind his parents' house. And even though I was living in my uncle and my auntie's, I kind of liked living with him. So at like 12, we would just literally like go down to the skate park at like 9 p.m. at night, like we would just go do whatever, we'd go on bushwalks. So I found myself a lot in that time I spent in solitude and just trying all different things.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

And you've kind of briefly mentioned putting on this mask when you're at school, and uh you said you kind of fell into a bit of the wrong crowd there.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Yeah, yeah. So I guess the the the mask that I was talking about is kind of what I was explaining. Like when I'd go hang out with them, you know, I'd do what they want, and I wouldn't really speak up about like what I wanted to do or what I found interesting. Um, and I guess the more I did that, the more I just wanted to spend time alone. So that was really, really good in that regard. Uh, when I started to hang out around the wrong crowd, it was probably around like that 16, 17, 18, where you start drinking a little bit, you start partying a little bit. And uh me and my cousin actually we ended up DJing together, and we're part of a it was a competition called Your Shot. Don't know if you ever heard it, but yeah, once we did that, we got a lot of exposure. We started to do house parties, we started to uh do pulse, we started to DJ at clubs, yeah. And with that came a lot of the wrong crowd. Yeah, and we had access to after parties, we had access to to benders, really. And um even though it wasn't me, I think you know, you felt so accepted into this new thing that was exciting. I kind of just rolled with it. Yeah, it's it's like novel and yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just got to a point where I was like, this is just not me. But when you're in that, it's really, really hard to get out of that. Definitely, yeah. So, and I guess like I was pretty lucky because, and this is why I love the gym so much, and I believe it actually helps people change their lives. Is for me, that was like the one thing that was keeping me straight.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Yeah, you kept coming back to it, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

And as I was learning more about the gym and I knew I had to like eat right, sleep right, be consistent, the DJing, the partying, the taking drugs, taking alcohol, that was taking me away from that. Yeah. So at one point I kind of had to choose, and uh lucky I chose the gym.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Yeah, definitely, yeah. I think it's a pretty common experience for a lot of people in Australia when you're growing up here, because it we are such a a drinking nation. Uh, it is starting to turn now more, I think. But yeah, very common experience to be going to parties when you're 15, 16. Um, sure. Sorry about parents or something like that. Out of friends, yes. Um, yeah, well, I think if you compare it to America, like 21, you know, where yeah, we're so much younger. Especially when you're at that age, like you're not developed enough, you don't understand your values, your you don't have direction in life, and something novel and fun is gonna steer that boat 20 times more. Yeah. So yeah, I like the I like the point of how it's um how you kind of had to choose eventually. What do you think was the the first time you felt like yourself at the gym or was it at school? Was it with your friends?

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Uh it was it was by myself. It was doing stuff by myself. Uh I found a lot of time hiking was really good for me. Um yeah, I'll probably say like hiking, gym, skating at the time. I love that too. Uh, and I was surfing at the time and and playing sports. So I think it was either being alone or being active. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

When did you first start going to the gym?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

I'd probably say 15. Yeah, because it was a school elective. I think it was in year 10. Is that right? 15, year 10? I think so.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yeah, 15, 16, yeah, quick mass. 15, 16, I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, it was an elective at school, and um, we actually went to this like little gym in your minor FCF upstairs. Very old school, very tiny. And yeah, I think there's something about it. I got like this instant feedback. And I know the gym's also taught me delayed gratification, but going to the gym, lifting weight, like getting those endorphins kicking off, seeing yourself pumped up in the mirror. I was like, oh, what is this? Yeah, like there's something to this. So that was pretty exciting, and um also too because when I was lifting, I was kind of like alone. So it was both the being alone and having movement and getting that instant feedback. I think all of it together was quite exciting for me.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

What first pushed you to go to the gym?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah, good question. I honestly think it was just I had to choose an elective. And I think at the time it was like like maybe surfing, which I think I did prior. Like the I think it was like uh each semester you had to like choose a different one.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

And I already did the surfing one, and I think this was just next on the list. So I don't know whether I fell into it, who knows, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

What did you take school seriously when you first came over? Not at all.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Nah, nah. I um the reason why I stayed, I did make a couple of best friends in the end there, and we just ran amok. Like we just had fun. Um, it was social. Uh I actually in year 12 I actually started to develop vertigo and about these really bad like migraine spells, probably for like six months, especially while like while we're doing all the tests uh towards the end of the year. And um I lived at the time about a kilometer away from school. So I would just walk to school and walk home. And mum was always at work, and it was just me and her. So every single time this migraine would come on, it would kind of end either me throwing up or having to go to sleep, and hopefully when I woke up, it was gone. Those were the the two options every single time, and not many people knew because I was kind of like hiding it because I don't know whether it was embarrassing or whatever at school. And mum didn't really know because she was she was around, but she was working a lot. Yeah, I didn't say that. So as soon as it would come on, I would just walk home. Yeah, right. So my attendance rate was terrible.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Did it you normally come on when you were work walking to school?

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Not walking to school, just at school. I I don't know if it was stress-induced or sounds like panic, yeah. Yeah, something else. But as soon as it would come on, I would just think, oh no, like I don't want to spew here, I don't want to end up trying to sleep at school. Yeah. So I would just go. And like that kilometer walk sometimes, I'd be so dizzy, like I would just make it home. Yeah. And as soon as I'd make it, I'd spew or I'd have to just go to bed.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

And the obviously the school caught on this, you know, they were like your attendance rate's really, really low. We might actually have to like get you to repeat or whatever. And when I actually started to deal with it, and you got, you know, went to the doctors, got the certificates, they allowed me to pass. Yeah. What did they say it was? Man, to be honest, from memory, I don't think we ever actually pinpointed what it was. I remember going uh and doing a lot of tests, a lot of scans, eye tests, brain scan, uh, getting my organs checked, blood work. And funny enough, I think I ended up giving up. And someone mentioned getting like a deep tissue massage or getting um like needling through my traps and through my neck. So I did that and it went away. There you go. Wow. Crazy, but still don't know what it was. Yeah, haven't experienced it since. I've experienced vertigo since, but totally different thing. I'm actually deaf in this year now. And once that happened, oh I lost about 50% of hearing in in this ear, and once that happened, it obviously throws you out. Yeah, so not the same thing that affect your balance, too. I'd like to think now, no, we can test it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

They go, Wow, that's fascinating. When you first started going to the gym, you're going through this young kind of teen phase. At the time, like I think the gym is very popular now, but yeah, it's only been probably a recent thing where you're starting to see more of a younger crowd go through. Yeah. What was that like for you stepping into a gym? I think from a boxing point of view or anyone in kind of combat sports, it's quite nerve-wracking the first time you step into one, unless you've been in there since you're like six. Yeah. What was that experience like for you?

SPEAKER_01 16:44

I think going with the school as an elective was um was a good entry point because in my class, uh, you know, the the best friend that I had, he was a bit of a c a class clown. Yeah. The teacher that we had, he was kind of funny too, and me and him kind of clicked. So I felt quite welcome and quite at home. And um, and like I said, because I already spent a lot of time in solitude, I had no problem being by myself. So when I went to the gym, it was just me. It was just playing music, like listening to the stuff that I love. So I already felt quite at home.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Um, but when I started taking more serious, when that elective finished and I actually signed up to the gym, I started going like at night and on the weekends and stuff like that. Yeah, like you're right. Like I was the only 15-year-old. Yeah. And everyone else was like, even 20-year-olds weren't really in the gym then. You know what I mean? It was like 25-year-olds. It was so um I spent probably a lot of it just going in, doing what I needed to do, having that time myself, jumping out.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

But after a while, obviously, like, you know, give someone a little nod or hey, you're using that weight, and you make enough interaction that you know, you say hello and you can can you spot me and you become friends. But even those friends, they were like 20, 21, 22, and I was 15. Yeah, wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Are there any people that stand out to you now looking back?

SPEAKER_01 18:01

It yeah, I mean, like my first proper training partner, I was probably by this stage 17. I think he was 20, Dane Forrest. I don't know if you know Dane. People would know Dane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But um, me and him, he he was a big part of um, I guess me getting into bodybuilding. Me and him just used to love going hard on our sessions. Like, we wouldn't leave the gym until we're like legless or spewing, and that was the vibe, yeah. Uh, we we love watching like the old school bodybuilders and just watching how they would do things, yeah. Um, and that's in your favourites growing up. Yeah, I mean, you gotta love Arnold, right? Like, he I think it was cool that he kind of made bodybuilding cool, especially like in movies and stuff like that. Yeah, Dorian uh Dorian Ray uh Yates for me was really, really cool. Um I'd probably say those two, but then as I was kind of coming up in my teens as well, uh the new age sort of aesthetic bodybuilders I was actually drawn to as well. So he's the as your Jeff sides, yeah. And because at this time, too, when I was DJing, it was all about that music and that aesthetic look.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Yeah, it is for that for a lot of people, I think.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah, yeah. And as someone who, you know, I was like I'm a smaller guy, and I think like I was like 50 kilos or less when I started lifting and a small frame. You know, watching these guys be confident, yeah, I was like, damn, there's something to this, I want that. Yeah, that was a huge sort of uh motivator for me as well.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Definitely. Was there anyone outside of the gym that you looked up to? Like I know you're quite big on mindset now who see people there.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Not anyone in my circle or not anyone that I knew personally, but a lot of the time I spent by myself, I was watching YouTube just literally on my spare time, like from 12 to I do now still. Yeah, and um I think I leverage a lot of my inspiration and and who I kind of called my mentors that weren't it like musicians, YouTubers, uh Christian Guzman, yeah, if you know him, he uh I pretty much watched him from when he started, and I think he had a perfect blend of that, you know, he his own fitness, but also building a brand and the mindset, yeah, and and that really inspired me.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

I think it's a it's a cool thing because yeah, more and more now we're seeing like online engagement is just everywhere now. Um, you know, you used to be able to go to the gym and you'd make a friend there, and that was like maybe you looked up to them in some sort of way, but yeah, the online space is kind of dominating that so much so now it's it's interesting. Yeah, I think even just even still now, there's people that I look up to that I'll probably never meet, um, which is just a wild thing to think about. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so what about now? Who do you who do you kind of follow now? Who are you looking to now?

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Honestly, same guy. I was watching Christian Guzman this morning. I was on my I was on my cardio bike and I was watching him. Um couple more people in in in real life, yes, some mates actually who are kind of like where I want to go that are just a couple of steps ahead. I think that's super inspiring to know that you know they're they're people like me, similar values, hang out with them and and and they're in a position where I'm striving to be. Yeah. I think I think sometimes when you put these people who you watch on internet on a pedestal, they seem a little bit too far away and you can't kind of grasp that connection. Definitely, yeah. But when someone's kind of doing it and and you hang out with them and you see what they're doing, you're like, oh shit. This person's human too, yeah. Yeah, it's right there.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Yeah, definitely. I'm thinking for people that are kind of coming into the space now and we're spending so much time online, so much time on social media, they might see someone and go, I want to look like that. Yeah, and that's my goal. Do you see that often?

SPEAKER_01 21:42

I think like anything, get educated because you know, even if you we use this as like a business sort of space, you know, people pe most people um are working or have businesses, right? Like you wouldn't kind of come into a career, an industry, or start a business and be like, I'm gonna make millions. Dollars this first quarter. You know what I mean? Like it like if you get educated and you actually get to know what it's like running a business or what it's like climbing, you know, the the ranks in that career, yeah, then you kind of go, oh, okay, like it takes a little bit longer than that. Maybe we can stretch that goal out. You can still achieve it. Yeah. But maybe not wanting it right away. Yeah. And yeah, like influencers do have a part to play, whether they, you know, that's all they show is like the the highlights and the shiny stuff, and that I did this in in a year, which it's bullshit. Yeah. Like to to to for most people to get your dream physique, because I'm jumping on consultations like you know, at least three to five per week. And most people will say, I want my dream physique, because that's they correlate that when I'll be at my most or at my peak confidence when I reach ex-physique. Yeah. And what they describe to me is about three to five years away. And some people might want this in six to twelve months. So I think when you kind of just educate them on the process and the time like frame that it takes, especially if they're, you know, gonna stay committed, then it just might open their perspective to, you know, what it actually takes.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

And I think there's a difference between like being intrinsically motivated to do something and being externally motivated for like, I want this physique. And if I could choose it tomorrow, I'd get it. But it's the do you attain the thing without learning the process of how to attain it?

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Or do you learn the process and maybe risk not attaining it, but you've learned well it's like um they say with like lottery winners, like they'll they'll win the money, but then they lose it straight away. Yeah. So it's kind of like that. And I think, yeah, for most people, it the shiny object that attracts them or motivates them is the end result. But you know, they've got to be open to also, and again, it's around education, it's around learning this stuff. Yeah, it's actually just all about embodiment and then changing your identity. Definitely. And when you do that, you actually show up to the habits, the routines, and the consistency.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

And like why I love the gym and why I harp on about it and and why I chose this as my career is because it literally taught me all the life lessons that I didn't get to learn as a kid. You know what I mean? So, you know, delayed gratification, progressive overload. I put progressive overload in everything in my life relationships, business. Yeah, you know, you put more in, you get more out.

unknown 24:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Delayed gratification, it's understanding that not everything takes five minutes to attain.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

You know, something's and it in my experience, the harder it is to get, the longer it takes, the sweeter it is, the better it is to have.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Definitely, yeah. No, it's so true. Half of the satisfaction from attaining it is the the amount of time that you sacrifice to get it, uh, or the things that you go through to get it. It's like the person, yeah, that wins the lottery doesn't feel like they're they've earned it. Uh it's a bit of that kind of imposter thing, I think. But find a way to get rid of it. Definitely, yeah, go and gamble it. Um, yeah. So, how do you think social media is kind of affecting that? Because I think for a lot of men, it's probably going down that kind of bodybuilder road. I think for me at least, um, yeah, when I first started training, I was like, I just want to be bigger, like I'm I've got skinny legs, like I want to fill out. And it was like they're pretty good, bro. Appreciate that. Um, but I think it was yeah, the goal that I had initially was like, I'm skinny, I don't want to be skinny anymore. Yeah. And along the way, like I found a sport that I loved, and I was like, now I want to get better at that. Yeah. And so I changed my routine. And I think that the process of going to the gym starts so many conversations for people and it will realign your values, which maybe at the time I'm like, hey, I wanted to get bigger legs. Now we're kind of doing something else here. What are we doing? Uh maybe it didn't seem in line, but I'm so much happier that I went down that road because it's like, do I actually really care if I have skinny legs? No.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Like I think um, yeah, people's like why just changes along the way. And I think you've got to be open to that. Like, you know, there there's different seasons and there's different motivators and different wants. And I think if you're very self-aware, you'll you'll know.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Uh, if you're not, you're randomly chopping change.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Um, but I do think as long as you're doing something that is, you know, because not only is it productive for your mental health and for character building as well, like especially fighting.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Um, but it's it's good for your overall health. Like you're doing something where you're you're you know, you're spiking your heart rate, you're moving, your hand-eye coordination, like all this stuff is good for longevity as well. And as you get older, like you don't want to be, you know, frail.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

So I think it doesn't really matter what you do. Uh, I think as long as you pursue something and if it drives you to a different sort of direction, then that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Yeah. How do you kind of work with clients when they maybe come in with like an unrealistic goal or um, like you said before, something might be three to five years away and they want to achieve it in six months. Yep. How do you kind of help them just get started on something? And do you give them that realization straight away or do you let them find it on their own?

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Uh no, I I do like to give the perspective straight away because I think um I wouldn't want to sell anyone a lie. You know what I mean? And I think when you what what I do is I break down the numbers and what's real sick. So I'll like literally tell people like if if if we're in you know, X amount of deficit and your compliance rate is 80 to 90 percent, it's actually gonna take us X amount of weeks to drop the five to ten kilos. And when you just give them the certainty of those numbers, they actually go, Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah, there's a science to it. Not cool. Like, there's so now they start to click with the time frame. Yeah, and I'll also say too, like things that are achieved in a very aggressive short amount of time, it's not sustainable. So we can do it. And look, if you really, really, really want to do that, and like you don't want to go anywhere else, and I'm the person that you want to do it with, I'll do it with you. But it might come with side effects, yeah, and you might not feel amazing through it, and we might not be able to attain it. And as long as you know that information and you still want to go through it, okay. But if I ever see something going down the road where it's becomes too unhealthy, then you know, I'm gonna give my recommendations to stop. Let's bring health back.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think that that was one thing we learned um really early on with eating disorders was someone might seem recovered from one eating disorder and they've just transferred it to another. Yeah, so yeah, you do see that kind of bounce back and forth, and it really is consistency. And if you're being consistent in putting weight on, if you're being consistent in maybe losing weight, you want to be steady in that decline, you don't want it to just drop. Um, it's not good for your mental health either.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Yeah, and and just kind of like what you said before, where you were chasing this like aesthetic goal, and then somewhere along the way you found performance. I love that. And I always try and frame that even for people with aesthetic skulls where you know, sure females, you want to build bigger glutes, but like let's put numbers on the weights that we're we're trying to achieve.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

And because I'll be realistic, I'm like, okay, cool. If you want to put like three centimeters on your glutes, glutes that are that size are usually lifting these weights.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

So if we do testing now, we can kind of see the gap we need to bridge. So then we can get hyper focused on performance in the gym and getting stronger. Yeah. You'll kind of take their mind away from like the oh, do I look like that yet? Because they enjoy actually being better and stronger in the gym. So they have a different metric to chase.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

Yeah, yeah, it's so true. Makes it attainable. Like if you're just measuring of do I have it three centimeters bigger? Yeah, you're gonna fail for it.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

It's like it's like the guy who wants abs and he eats like salads and he's like, Is it there? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

I'm gonna do 50 crunches until I get abs. Yeah, it's so true. Um, one of the stats that I read kind of prepping for this, uh, I wanted to talk about mental health and fitness. Yeah. And people who exercise on the regular are 25 to 40% less likely to develop depression or anxiety. Have you had any personal experience with kind of mental health and training and that helping you through anxiety, maybe?

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Yeah, absolutely. Um, you know, I I've definitely seen uh, especially through teenagers who are confused, who are angry, you know, whether it's stuff happened in their life. Uh, I know for me, like especially when I was in that point where I was partying and with the alcohol and everything like that, even though I've been very like, I guess, uh self-aware at a young age, and you know, I'd like to think I I was able to regulate my emotions. Going through that stage of my life, obviously with the drugs and the alcohol, it would have been a lot easier to just go off the rails and to get angry and to lash out. But again, like going hard at the weights four or five times a week, it's letting all my anger out in in a in a safe, sort of healthier way. Yeah, you know what I mean? Just regulating it, yeah. Yeah, because all emotion is is bottled up and you know, we can kind of regulate it through movement as well. So, and at the time I actually didn't know it, but looking back now, that's what I was doing.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

I think sauna is something useful as well in that regard because you're you're not having to for the people that don't enjoy weights or maybe they don't enjoy going for a run, it's like you can just sit there uh and it will be hard and you'll find your window of tolerance very quickly.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Yeah, I think that's something that's super beneficial as well. So you mentioned before some of the lessons you learned from the gym transferred directly into your own personal life. What do you see in that regard? Like, is it the consistency, is it balance, is it progressive overload? You said what are the main lessons you learnt there?

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Oh, good question. I think it's I think it's all of it. And I can almost see it playing out in my life all at different times, like which which one's gonna be more uh important at a certain part of my life. Um, I think at the very start, it it was good character building because I actually like had a bit a bit of challenges. Like I injured myself, I was figuring out how to eat properly. I was uh like I said, living kind of like that double life. So I was like saying no. When I started to say no to friends to hang out and go to the gym, I was copying a bit of backlash as well. So it was kind of navigating all that, it taught me a lot of I guess mental resilience because again, going through that at like 15, 16, 17, when you're quite emotional uh and and drinking a little bit as well. Yeah, every kind of time I sat with myself and I was like, all these kind of hard things are going on, but I can just always go to the gym and that would just ground me and I can think, yeah, and I can be proud of myself for like sticking to who I am. I think that was like the very first sort of lesson that I gained from it that was um quite positive for my life. And then I guess progressive overload that helped me when I started my business. Because when you start a business, I didn't do I didn't start my business the right way. I didn't go to business school, I didn't have a mentor. I just started the ABN, made a Wix website, made some cards off Canva, and it was hard, man. I was like, no one knows me. Why doesn't anyone want to work with me? And and you know, there were so many times I wanted to quit. I was like 20 and I had four other jobs, and you know, it'd be 10 p.m. at night and I'm trying to work the business. And there's so many times I wanted to quit, but in my mind I was like, no, just progressive overflow, like just put more in, put more in. Like there's there's no way I can keep putting this work in and not work.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

You know, like I could just fail a hundred times, but I'll learn a lot of ways to not do it, and I'm gonna eventually find the way to do it.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Yeah, it's that saying of um time spent in the market is better than timing the market. I think it's so true with anything. You the amount of time you spend prepping yourself to start something, if you had just started it and continued it, you'd be further along.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

And I think um right now where everyone is as well, um, especially with social media, there's so much mental masturbation. There's so much uh listening to podcast everyone listening to this podcast, but you know what I mean? Like there's so much reading books and there's so much doing this, but whatever it is, like just throw yourself headfirst into that industry or that thing. Like I think the I think you were telling me um you randomly walked into like that MMA gym. Yeah, and you were like shitting yourself. Yeah, you know, I don't know, maybe you're kicked in the face. But you learn pretty quick, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

You do, yeah. I agree, and I think the the mental, the sorry, not the mental, the social media side is so true. And that was one of the motivators for me starting the podcast was I was losing so much time just following noise and not science. Yeah, and there's so many people not saying I'm qualified to speak on anyone's life advice, but like um finding a space like I really liked modern wisdom. Yeah, that was something that I really really loved that as that's actual science. Uh and I think for for the most part, I don't know about all of his episodes, but um yeah, I think it's something that is really lacking in that space. You know, everyone starts a podcast and you know, the first within the first three episodes I generally quit. Uh and the people that don't, it's like, well, is it yeah, is it entertainment? Is it education? What are you gonna provide? And for me, it was like I literally saw myself consuming content that was not, you know, evidence-based, it wasn't spoken from someone that studied it objectively and not a biased point of view, yeah, and it wasn't someone just shouting their own perceived experience and speaking it as if it was truth. Yeah, and I think that's such a common thing is people follow noise and not science. Yeah. And it's something that the space really needs.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Yeah, and it's crazy because like in an era of I would say too much information, like you said, there's a lot of noise. Um that can be seen as a it could be a positive because it everything's so accessible, you know. Like, imagine like 50 years ago, you'd have to go down to the local library and you'd have to sift through a thousand books, right? Yeah, but I think it also comes with its negatives because like you said, there's there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of things that aren't true.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

So I think it's it's quite important for people to find their teachers, right? Or or the authorities that they want to listen to that have the back science. And I think just stick with them.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

I agree, yeah. Committing to one rather than trying one for a week and changing it again, you'll never get anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Because there's different perspectives.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Yeah. It was an interesting thing you said when we were doing the kind of prep for this. You said anyone can go to Chat GPT and get a program that's tailored for them. Yeah. Uh, what is it that working with an actual human provides for someone that could realistically go and find themselves a perfect program?

SPEAKER_01 37:22

Yeah, so a lot, a lot. I think connection is one. In in a you know, in a movement where there's a lot of tech, a lot of AI, people are gonna need connection more and more and more. And for a lot of people, especially just starting, it's not just the plan. People need to understand that it's not just a nutrition plan, it's not just a training plan, it's a transformation. And that transformation requires a mental shift, requires uh, you know, new habits, it requires managing your lifestyle. And chat GPT is not gonna tell you that. Yeah, chat GPT is not gonna hold you accountable to that. Yeah, and it gets hard because you know, everyone's already living a life with their plates full, everyone's already struggling. Like it's a it's a hard life to live these days. But when you add on that new thing and you require a huge sense of change from yourself, like it's gonna be hard, right? There's gonna be you're gonna fall off, you're gonna have to take four steps back sometimes to go one step forward.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

And when you are in that, you can get quite emotional and it's easy to tap out, and it's easy uh to not know the next step on how to reroute to get to the right direction. So yeah, coach can see all of this happening before it even happens because we have helped, you know, for me, I think like over 500 people do this. So I know that you know, by week six, it's gonna lose its kind of like uh like honeymoon stage. Yeah. And you're gonna start to look for something else and you start to get bored. Yeah. So I've got to be smart in my program design to give it a little jazz there. Yeah. So it reels you back in.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

I know by week eight, if you're going through like, you know, a huge sort of uh identity shift, your friends might not understand. So they might start pulling you in a direction that you don't want to go. So you're gonna have no one in your life who's a hundred percent backing this transformational change that you truly want. But if you have a coach, you do.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Yeah, there you go. And it's the accountability to like someone that you can follow up with or you're following up with them. And like you said, their friends might not be, their friends might be come to the pub or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

Yeah, you get that all the time.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

Yeah, that's so true, yeah. Um, I think as well with with AI and and everything, it's the connection side of it is so important. Like spending more time on your phone is never gonna be the answer, and spending more time just like finding the most optimal routine isn't gonna make you a more efficient human.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

It's like that's like that's for like the top 1%, really.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Yeah, for most people, it's finding something that this is sustainable and that they enjoy.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

Yeah, and when we talk even just from the recovery point of view, like um, I really enjoy saunas and ice baths for just the just the enjoyment factor of it. I don't do it for the recovery side of it, yeah. But I think that was something that kind of jumped through the the hoops really quickly was oh, sauna and ice bath will help you with this and help you with that. Yeah, and everyone jumps on it. And again, it it's really if you're doing it for the recovery side of thing, you need to be training like five or six times a week. And most people, it's like if you're training three times a week, like you don't need to do an ice bath, you don't need to do that.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

If if anything, like um, and again, like you said, if you enjoy it, then great, do that. But ice bars, like people who do ice bars like every day could actually be detrimental to your recovery. Yeah. Because if you if we wanted to look at it from like an optimal standpoint, and if we wanted to learn from athletes, like the whole point of trying to get the most out of your training is to pretty much get yourself in that fight or flight response to get the stimuli for like one to two hours a day, but then the rest of the day you want to be in that rest and digest. You want to get your your you know your nervous system back down. Yeah, so doing that ice bath, you know, so many times per week, just consistently ramping it back up.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

Yeah, it's so true. What about it? What about being that fight or flight say is helpful?

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Uh while you're training? Yeah. Well, because you're putting yourself in that hyper arousal, so you're gonna like train a lot harder. You're gonna get the PB, so you're gonna progressively overload, you know what I mean? So you want your nervous system to be spiked up while you're training, but then that's it. For the rest of the day, you actually want it to go back down because that's when you recover.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

You're big on mindset. What are your favorite things to kind of talk about there?

SPEAKER_01 41:39

I I love the thought of do hard things. I love that because life's hard, and I think no matter what life you choose, like pain is inevitable, right? So whether you choose the life of let's say meteoricity, right? Where where you're happy to get an honor five, and that's okay. Some people like that, you know, they can just switch off when they come home from work, but that's gonna come with its pains, like uh with the cost of living rising up, you may not be able to go to the places that you want to go, or you may not be able to, you know, give your loved ones the things that you want to give them, or you know, you might not have the time, whatever it is. If you choose to go the route of like owning your own business or striving for hard things, that's gonna come with its own challenges as well. Both lives are gonna be painful, right? But I think suffering is a choice. And I think when you do hard things, you can kind of expand your window of tolerance and the painful things or the normal painful things that come up in life don't have to feel as hard if you continuously show up and intentionally do hard things in your day.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

Yeah, it's like having an ice bath in the morning. Exactly. Everything feels good after that.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Yeah, it sucks in the moment. Yeah. And and if anything, too, if you if you're one of those people who do the ice bath and you think about it longer than you do it, that thinking about it is painful as fuck. Yeah. Like your own torture.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Yeah, it's so true. Yeah, yeah, it's funny. It's like you get in and you're just like, there's nothing, it's it's a physiological response that I need to get out of this. Yeah. Like if you're doing it cold enough, yeah. You you have a like a four degrees, five degrees? Yeah, I think two to three is like that's fine tingling that. That's the that's the point for me where I'm like, get me out. Um and I think, yeah, there's a point of being uncomfortable, but there's a point of being like truly in discomfort. Like something might make you feel a little uncomfortable, like, oh, I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to get out of bed this morning or whatever. It's like, but discomfort, like a state of discomfort. Yeah, yeah, I think that's where you will see the benefits of that.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Yeah, it's a lot of character building in that. Because like you said, like no one's holding you down in that ice bath. It's your own choice to to like you're hurting, you're shivering, you're mind telling you to get out. But you know, you have this this higher sort of side of your brain or your higher self going. Going, this is good for you. Yeah. Stay calm. Stay in here. Focus on your breathing. Sucks right now, but Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think when when because because you have those two parts of your brain, one is going, get the fuck out. This sucks. You got the other one go, stay in, stay calm, focus on your breathing. And the more you listen to that part of your brain as well, that's stretching your character. Yeah, definitely. So I think, yeah, even though I said before ice bars aren't amazing all the time. If it if you're coming at it from the perspective of mental resilience, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

Yeah. I I think that's the that is the key point that I got out of boxing so early on because it was um it was that discomfort state. And I spent a bit of time like working with kids as well in that field. And one of the um kids I used to work with is really talented and he was really small for his age. And so when um he got to the point where he finally wanted to do like even just a bit of body contact, he was so talented when it came to hitting the bag and pads like phenomenal. Got in the ring and he was the smaller guy, and it was like nah, he was just reverted and it was just fight or flight, and I'm just gonna just shell up. And if it but you saw it, it was the you could be as talented as you want, but if you don't know how to regulate yourself, you'll never be able to use it. Absolutely. And so for him it was like, okay, we're not gonna teach him how to box better, we're gonna teach him how to breathe. Um, because he was punching the base a few times. Yeah, you're a yeah. Well, literally, it's being about being able to make yourself comfortable in that state of discomfort that I think really brings you that benefit. And for him, it was like he's never gonna be able to use the the tools that he's spent so long developing. Exactly. He can't actually regulate himself. Um, and it's the same thing in boxing when you see an angry fighter, um, that's that's dangerous for you because you know you're gonna put yourself in a position that's compromised. Um, the person that's controlled and regulated will win 10 times out of 10.

SPEAKER_01 45:59

Well, yeah, because they can actually express the skills, they're not just there to take your head off. You know what I mean? And then yeah, if if you operate out of anger in any situation, it's it's not a good thing. You lose your your logical side.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, anything out of emotion is probably not a good decision. It's the same thing with with training as well. Like if you're if you're feeling uncomfortable, uh, but you know, maybe I could go and shout myself a burger, maybe I could just scroll on my phone instead, like that's gonna make me feel better. It's that dopamine. Yeah, it's it's the wrong pathway for sure. I guess that's the the delayed gratification as well.

SPEAKER_01 46:36

Exactly. Yeah, it's it's being able to sit in in with that discomfort for a long enough period of time. And what I've found too is every hard thing that I've done, especially if it's like a really hard thing, that like even takes a long period of time. Um, like for example, we we spoke um, I was telling you about my first competition when I was 18, 19, somewhere there. I think maybe I'd like to yeah, tell that story, that's a good one. Yeah, so um, yeah, like when I was sort of going down that partying stage, as much as I wanted Jim to be winning, like I said, it felt like a double life. And and you know, on one hand, there was picking myself, solitude, and the gym, and then on the other hand, it was like trying to fit in with a crowd and you know, DJ and party and take jokes and everything like that. It kind of swung the other way where I was probably partying and and taking substances more, and it it actually started to scare me. I was like, oh no, like I'm not in control anymore. Like, I say I'll go to the gym, but I wasn't going to the gym anymore. Or I say I'll stop partying, but I I couldn't. And that scared me. So I just put my name down for a bodybuilding column. I was like, fuck it, let's just do it. Like, put the name down, have the end date. Yeah. And every single morning that I was doing my cardio, it was 4 a.m. in the morning. I still had three jobs. So I uh, you know, at 18, I literally had to wake up at four, do an hour's cardio, get ready for a tree lopping job. I'd do that from like seven to like three, and then I would do some PT classes for that that gym that I first went to. I ended up working for him. Yeah. And and then after that, I would then start my business, like work on my business after after hours. So yeah, like it was it was a super hard time, but I was like, no, I actually just need to lock in. I need to do something. And those 4 a.m. cardio sessions, I would just picture myself in front of like 500 people in like, you know, the fucking underwear that you wear. And like, I've got to be shredded, man, because if I don't, if I'm not, I'll look like an idiot. And and that was, you know, whether that was desperation or whatever, it worked. It was a consequence. Yeah, it was a big motivating factor. So I ripped in, it was like 20 weeks of dieting and cardio and everything like that. So, you know, it was it was it was a hard thing every single day. And managing three jobs, uh, you know, trying to start a business, uh, and and it was a it was quite a very lonely chapter as well, because you know, now I feel like those things are glorified. Yeah. Back then, you I was a weirdo. No one's there running with you. Everyone's like, What the fuck are you doing? Why are you doing a comp? Why are you starting a business? Like, that sus. Um, so it was a not only was it hard, it was a it was quite a lonely chapter. And um after doing that comp, I was so freaking nervous, it was so scary. But after that competition, man, that this wave of like, you know, the there was this pressure on my shoulders, it lifted and it literally fell out, like felt like this new guy stepped into his body. Yeah, it was like here's a whole bunch of confidence. You did that crazy hard thing, you got through the sky's the limit. Yeah, and and like, yeah, for me, that was a massive turning point in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

It's so true. It's the same, it's the same thing with boxing, like just commit and whatever it is, like same thing. I had to work two, three jobs and get up in the morning and run and then go and train at night. And you know, there's there's that point where you just need to fill your day because if you're someone like yourself and me, if you don't have that thing to do, yeah, you will make the wrong decision. Yeah, and so take that, take that away, like fill it, go and do something. Um but yeah, when you there gets to a point where you go, okay, this is sustainable for 10, 12 weeks. Yeah, I hit that. When do you learn, okay, now I'm learning this? I need I can't just fill every moment with things so that I'd make the wrong decision. Where do you go to next?

SPEAKER_01 50:31

Yeah, well, actually, uh another thing that I guess six month time frame taught me was what's hard now doesn't have to mean it'll be hard later. So when you do something for the first time, whether that was you know the pressure of a few jobs, the pressure of the competition, it felt really hard in that moment, but I've done that four more times, five more times since. So I've competed about six times now. And not that it gets easier, but you get stronger. So, you know, even though at the time, and this is not for everyone, I'm like competing is not for everyone. Um, and and I am someone who I like to stay on, I like to stay busy. Uh, I've found a way to make it sustainable for myself, but you know, that that sort of time frame actually taught me that, yeah, that was very, very hard. But you kind of just leveled up.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

So you can like take a little bit more on now. Yeah. And and you know, maybe that was a 10 out of 10 then, but if you literally do that exact same thing in a year's time, it might be an eight out of 10.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

So you can take a little bit more on.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

Yeah. What's one thing you would say to someone that is struggling to get started and struggling to like be consistent, be committed. What's the one thing like they're not getting out of bed? What do you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 51:53

I could say some cheesy stuff, like think of your why, you know. Um I mean, I think that the biggest bang for Buck is have have a support system, whether that's a coach, whether it's a best friend that checks in on you and calls you. Um and and the other thing is commit as well. Like, I love that you said that. I have this frame in my head where I'm like, sign the self-contract. You know, because every time you say you're gonna do something and you don't do it, your subconscious is always watching.

SPEAKER_00 52:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

Right. And now I have a relationship with myself where I think of my subconscious as like my my little brother and I I never had, or my dad that's watching, or or my best friend.

SPEAKER_00 52:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

Like you wouldn't say, hey, I'll be there too today, or I'll come see you tomorrow and then just not rock up.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

Because you do that 10 times and they're gonna go, it's not coming, you know, and they're gonna lose that trust in you and they're not gonna like you. Yeah. So every time you say, I'm gonna get up tomorrow, I'm gonna go to the gym on Monday, and you don't do that, that's dangerous. Your subconscious is watching, whether you like it or not. So my advice would be to sign the self-contract, commit, and when it comes up, and you're in that moment of that split second in your mind where you're trying to justify X, Y, and Z, and oh, it's cold, and you had a late night. Like, just fucking get up, just go. And I know that's gonna be hard for some people to connect with, but you do that three or four times, and you're gonna understand, like you're gonna realize, oh, it's actually not that bad. And you get in momentum. And once you're in momentum, you're there.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

I love the the three, two, one method. It's that works so well for me because it's like when I don't want to do something, and I I've got every part of me is going, what about this? What about that? Do that instead, that's better, whatever it is. I just go, I'm gonna count down from three, and I'm gonna do it. Then you have to go three, two, one, go. And yeah, it's that it's that losing trust in yourself is only gonna make it harder. And the more the first time that you do it, it will be hard. Yeah, but the next time you do it, it's a little bit easier.

SPEAKER_01 53:54

I have this frame. Uh, I don't know when I started implementing it. I don't think I heard it from anyone else, but I'm sure it's out there in other ways. But I have this frame that I have my lower self sits on the shoulder, or higher self sits on the shoulder, and then I'm actually a neutral third party, and I get to choose who I listen to. So I get really competitive, and this actually shows up the most in the ice bath situation. So when the lower self comes through, yeah, and my neutral position starts to pick that way, I've got to act. I'm like, no, you can't let that guy win because you let him win, he gets stronger. Yeah, and he becomes you more and more and more. So that's kind of the frame. When I hear that, I literally just jump in.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

Yeah. And I think from like even just from a from a psych point of view, it's like if you're choosing that that side of you that is values driven, that's gonna be the right decision. Yeah. If it feels wrong, if it feels uncomfortable, it doesn't matter. If it's in line with your values, it's the right decision. Yeah, if it's in line with a feeling, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 54:57

Love that. Because yeah, I think people can zoom in a little bit too too much on the the exact moment, the exact feeling. And because you know, you have that sort of um child's brain where like pain, no good, right? But it's it's as you grow up, you understand it's not always like that. Yeah, a lot of pains that we choose is actually very good.

SPEAKER_02 55:18

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, the the end goal is not to be happy 24-7. No, it's that's it loses its exactly touch, right? Yeah, that's not life. Um, and I think for the the person that's doing too much to be able to like slow down, it's the same thing. It's like if my value is uh consistency, okay, if I'm doing too much, I'm not gonna be consistent because it's only gonna last X amount of time, or if I'm like feeling every second of the day, I can't be present. So yeah, I think it goes for both ways. It's like okay, maybe I don't have enough on my plate, maybe I've got too much, and now I need to have some room. Still learning that. Definitely. Um cool. What's uh what where are you going in this space? What are your goals now? What are you looking for?

SPEAKER_01 56:06

So at the moment, um uh so we have a company now, we have a team of coaches, and and we're looking to expand. Um, I definitely want to have uh a top sort of uh you know, top leading coaching team um where we're still flexible in who we work with. Uh we still have coaches who work with the higher end athletes. Uh, personally, me, I love working with with prep athletes or CEOs. Yeah um but we also still cater to you know people just starting out with gen pop. Uh I think it's really cool having that sort of different diversity in people, but also different starting points because when we have all these people in the community, you know, a lot of these high-level guys can act as motivators or peers for the people just starting out, um, and but vice versa as well. Um, so that's kind of where that's going in terms of of my business and and and you know goals in terms of that. Personally, I could be competing again. And when I say I could, I will. Uh commit. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, take it my own way. Uh April next year.

SPEAKER_02 57:12

There you go. So um it's anyone listening, send him a message April next year. Commit. Signed in, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

So that's starting to ramp up now. Yep. Um, but also like like you said, um, I've been pretty much 100% go since I was 20. So I think for me now as well, even though I have these aspirations, goals to expand and to get bigger, a lot of it is learning to know when to step back.

SPEAKER_02 57:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:38

As well.

SPEAKER_02 57:39

Yeah, you have a relationship, you have like other competing priorities.

SPEAKER_01 57:43

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So um as much as I do want to grow in these aspects, I don't want to be at the cost of like a burnout or or which I've done plenty of before.

SPEAKER_00 57:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:52

So I think it's just getting a little bit smarter, getting um, you know, finding what works for me. Um, and and not so much being in a rush anymore. Like when I was younger, I just I had these deadlines that were so unrealistic. Like I don't know, booming business 23, millionaire 25. Like, yeah, and and I think it was from growing up watching Christian Guzman and all these entrepreneurs, which I don't hate. I I I kind of like that there was a part of me that was a bit in a rush because it it pushed me. Yeah and it showed me what I I was capable of and what I want to do more. Yeah, yeah. Um, but I think now whether it's maturity or or having a missus too, shout out Keely, um, yeah, she she teaches me to slow down.

SPEAKER_02 58:31

So I agree. Yeah, there's there's nothing more important. I think noticing the little things is you can have goals, you can have aspirations, but the thing to pick out from the online content is everyone will sell you to not be happy with your current life and that you need to change. Yeah. And maybe there's a part of your life that needs to change. But if you are never happy with your life, and that's the sole reason that you're changing it, it's like you're probably not going to be happy in the next phase. So choose, choose the right decision, yeah. But like notice the little things that you enjoy because when you look back, you go, Oh, I wish I had just like took them take a minute to just take that in.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

Absolutely. And um, with that frame that I said before with like the the lower self, whatever. I have this other frame where it's it looks down the timeline, and you know, there's there's that version of me who's a little bit more masculine and pushes, he kind of looks at the future a little bit more, and which is great because he's setting up a future for future me. And I love that. But if I focus on him too much, I'll lose touch with myself now and I'll lose the all the amazing things, the moments being present, what I have now.

SPEAKER_00 59:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

So that's another friend that I have that like how much time am I spending being that guy versus this guy? Yeah. And if I'm spending too much looking at the future, okay, cool, let's reel it back. Let's spend some time in a moment. Yeah. And kind of being aware enough to know where I'm spending time.

SPEAKER_02 59:56

Yeah, too much future is anxiety, too much past is depression.

SPEAKER_01 59:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:00

The perfect is the present. Yeah. So true. It's yeah, it's a toolkit. You've got to spend different times with each lens on. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. Thank you so much for your time. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:12

Sweet, man. Loved it. Beautiful. I'm done. Yeah. I really needed a PSA.