Why Your Child Might NOT Be Ready to Read Yet

In this episode of HOMESCHOOL REVOLUTION, Kelly Crawford and I dive into one of the biggest fears homeschool parents face: reading delays and the pressure to keep children “on grade level.” We share personal stories from our own homeschool journeys and explain why many so-called “late readers” are actually developing exactly as they should.

We discuss how unrealistic expectations from traditional education systems create unnecessary fear, stress, and shame for both parents and children. Instead of forcing academics before children are ready, we talk about creating environments where curiosity, stories, and learning naturally come alive.

In this episode, we also cover:

• Why many children learn to read later than schools expect
• How pressure and comparison can damage confidence
• The difference between schooling and true education
• Helping reluctant readers fall in love with stories
• Why audiobooks, copywork, and read-alouds are powerful tools
• The connection between language development and hearing, speaking, reading, and writing
• Teaching reading without expensive curriculum
• Why boys often develop reading skills later
• Understanding math-brained vs. language-brained children
• Using games, manipulatives, and movement to teach math naturally
• How ADHD children learn differently
• Why homeschoolers should stop teaching to standardized tests
• Creating a home environment that sparks curiosity and independent learning

We also answer live questions from homeschool moms about math struggles, curriculum overwhelm, Montessori methods, public school detoxing, testing requirements, and how to support children with different learning styles and personalities.

This episode is a reminder that children are not machines following identical timelines. Homeschooling gives families the freedom to honor each child’s unique pace, gifts, interests, and learning style while building a lifelong love of learning.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Homeschool Revolution. I'm Rebecca Stromsdorfer, Homeschool Mama Five for over 20 years, and I've been coaching moms just like you for decades. I've done this messy, done it wrong, and figured it out as I went. This podcast is for the working mom, single mom, stay-at-home mom, and yes, dads too. Any parent who is done with the old way and ready to raise creative, confident kids who actually change the world. This isn't just homeschooling. This is a revolution. Let's get into it. Welcome to my homeschool village and sync outside the classroom at the same time. Um, I'm Rebecca, homeschool mom to five kids for over 20 years, and this is Kelly, who has a homeschool mom for over 20 years as well, 25, with 11 children. And so we'd like to come on together because together we make a really good team. She has a company that teaches homeschool moms how to make money from home. And then I have a company that gives the resources for moms to homeschool. So together we compliment each other. Well, and I also talk about homeschooling too. So make sure you're following her. If you're not, get in there and follow K. Yes. Okay. So welcome. We're going to talk about reading. There have been a lot of parents lately who could be coming to us saying, I have a slow reader, my child's behind, I need a tutor. What do I do? Um, and so we're going to discuss different philosophies, ideas on teaching reading. Um, but I want to start out with before we actually talk about actual hacks in teaching reading, I want to talk about expectations of a child reading. So we're gonna talk about reading. Number one, I find the problem with most homeschool parents when they're struggling is they have an unrealistic expectation of when their child should be reading.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Would you agree with that, Kelly? 100%. I just had this discussion three days ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Yep. And I have that discussion more than anything is but what's truly appropriate and where should your child be reading for the age they are? Because the public school system is trying to get kids to read at the ages of three, four, and five, even six. In the homeschool world, homeschoolers realize that a child doesn't need to read until they need to read. So give us your take on that a little, Kelly.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

So I have a personal experience with this. I had several late readers that would be called late by the standards of the system. I don't think there's any such thing as late readers, um, because they're all different. But I even had one that wasn't reading well at all by the age of 10. And I actually did start to panic and took him to be tested for dyslexia. He did not have dyslexia, he was fine. He's just on a slightly different timeline, no learning disabilities whatsoever. He reads great now. So we do a number of things when the expectations are off. Number one, we panic and stress, which is unnecessary stress. Number two, we probably say things to our children to affect them negatively. If we're saying anything about, you know, we've got to get you reading, we've got to get you like we put the pressure on them that they don't need. And so we would just do ourselves a huge favor if we could get outside of that thinking of the timeline. And I call it so my channel, if anybody's interested, is think outside the classroom. And that's my whole goal is to try to help moms release that stress that they feel because of the pressures of the box that we've all been conditioned. And reading is definitely one of those huge stressors that moms unnecessarily have. Just be patient, let them develop at their own pace. So I have one little trick that I that a mom told me that I'll share later if you want me to.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Definitely. This is something though that I struggled with because my first two kids are 12 months apart, both girls. So child number one wanted to read so bad, but I was holding babies. She practically taught herself because she just wanted it. And child number two, who I expected to be only 12 months behind her in reading, was four years behind her in reading. And I was like, what is wrong with this child? Like I took her for I did take her for hearing tests, and it did turn out that her hearing was off. She was hearing like she was under weight. And I know that. And they had to give her two medicines and her hearing cleared up. Wow. So we had that, and I didn't know. And so that was affecting her speech. She was a slow speaker and a slow reader, but that helped. We did have eyes tested to make sure it wasn't an eye issue. Um, we tested those types of things, but the reality was she was a mechanic and didn't care. And she just, I read to them every day, and they cuddled up with me and read, and she loved reading and she loved hearing the books, and then she loved audiobooks. She just didn't have interest until she was like 10. And then she goes, Mom, I want to read better. And she sat down and did it in a week.

unknown 5:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

And it's like, I've been stressing for five years over your reading, and it was just because you just didn't want to.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

And I was gonna say that too. That's another part of the stress is that if you're trying to early, you'll spend so much time and energy. Whereas waiting until they're ready and then they'll pick it up like that. And that goes for a lot of different subjects.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Yeah, that's when I learned it took me a lot of years. My third child, though, also late reader, refused to do it. And then he told me when he was a teenager, he said, Mom, what I didn't tell you was I watched my sisters learn to read, and then you quit reading to them because they didn't want to. But he saw that mom stopped reading to the once you learn to read, mom doesn't read you anymore. So he pretended that that he couldn't read that's so that he could stay in my lap longer. That's so stupid. Right?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

That's great. But I was like, Are you flipping kidding me? Right, you really fooled me. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

I thought he had all kinds of issues, but the truth was he was like, No, I just wanted to keep cuddling my mom, and that was our cuddle time, and he was afraid of this.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

That's fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

I know. I was like, Oh, you little steep pop. But but so you don't know. Sometimes it's because mom's pressuring them that they refuse.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Yeah. Well, one mom's tip that she gave me, she said, I couldn't get my child to read. And I think it was similar to that, she just didn't care, whatever. So she found the the girl loved horses, and so she found a book on horses, like a really, really interesting storybook. And the mom would read her to the story, but she would stop at the most interesting part of the chapter and put it away, and it got to be so frustrating that the girl she picked up the book and learned to read herself so she could finish the story.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

I heard that at a homeschool conference once too. So, and I started doing that to my younger ones, and I was like, Oh, gotta go cook dinner. And I would put it down open marked. Uh-huh. And they'd be like, Mom, you can't stop. No, I'm like, I'm sorry, guys. If you want to keep the thing, go ahead and walk away. It's it's all manipulation. Yeah, it works though. It does. It does work. I love that. But sometimes it's about how to teach it, right? So you had some ideas.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Yeah, I mean, I get asked a lot. I was an English teacher before I came home to homeschool, and I get asked all the time, you know, what curriculum do you use for this or that? And some people don't know this, but we only use copywork for our English curriculum. And then people panic about that. But as far as teaching to read, um, and I and I get the whole like, how do I afford curriculum? And if you don't have any money, you can homeschool for free. You really can. I mean, we all spend money on what's important to us, but all that to say, I taught my kids to read with a manila folder. It started out, so you can see here, but it's put in a folder, and I wrote these letters, and uh I don't even know where I got this idea, but on every fold I have these letters, and so what happens is um you put them together. Let me see if I can figure it out now. Depending on how you fold it, you can make words. Now, how do I get this? Well, I guess you have to make it.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Well, but I mean, like, I don't know what I would make. Could do you have like a screenshot of what what one side of the folder looks like in the other, and then so that we can copy.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

I need to because I've been asked um several times. And so what I that's what I'll maybe I'll just do a screenshot. So that's like one side of the folder, and then that's the other side. Oh, that's brilliant, and then it's just folded. And so that one, and then this one that I think I found at a yard sale or something, it has the uh consonant blends. Um, those these two things have been through all 11 of my kids, and all 11 of my kids learn to read with that. So for your reading curriculum. But yeah, so it doesn't have to be complicated. We complicate a lot. That doesn't have to be so yeah, uh we really do.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

And but let's go back to like expectations. So age-wise, have you ever read the book Um The Thomas Jefferson Education?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Somebody brought that up to me uh in a comment. I can't, I don't think I've read that book. I've heard a lot about it.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

I don't think you need it anymore, but um I read it after I've been homeschooling for about 10 years. And I had heard about it for years, and then finally I was like, fine, I'm just gonna read it. And I had already read homeschooled for 10 years, and I had certain ideas and philosophies and things I'd noticed in my kids, and I'd shifted things. And then I read that book and it actually spelled out exactly what I was already doing, but basically told me why I was doing it. And I thought, oh, maybe if I had read this earlier, I wouldn't have wondered for so long. Yeah. But the whole point of it is the first eight years is about teaching humanity, like feelings. Who am I? What do I stand for? Moral values, how to treat others, right? The first eight. And then eight to twelve is about introduction to the world, the learning to read, the write, you know, just exposing them to everything. And then the last four years is about diving into what they love and how to do that, and then it explains the process and why in child development. And and I was like, oh, I was already kind of doing this. Yeah. Oh, I just didn't realize I was doing it. And I I found that most homeschool parents can't eventually get into that. But it would be so it's one of the books I love. Yeah. I think you would love it.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Um I know I would. Um, that's how the book A Different Kind of Teacher from John Taylor Gatta was for me, just blew my mind about his philosophy. And oh, I love that book so much. I haven't read it. I need to read that one. Most definitely, most definitely.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yeah, and just the way kids function. And it took me a long time to realize that my kids weren't going to learn it until they needed it in their lives. Yes. And three and four-year-olds don't need to be able to read. No, there's no reason. And it wasn't until my third kid, who was like, I don't want to read because I want to sit in mom's lap, it wasn't until he asked me to read a Lego instruction book for him. And I was like, Oh, you're just being lazy. Put it back in his lap, and I'm like, I'm done reading for you, kid. You can read to family time, but I'm not reading your stuff for you anymore. And he was so mad at me that day, but never asked again and was learning to read real quick.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Yeah, it's so true. And that's one of my phrases that I say all the time. Kids learn what they need to learn when they need to learn it.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

And if you'll let you, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's true. But a six-year-old boy not reading, you're not really a worry yet.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

No, not at all. Especially boys. Yes. Were your boys later readers than your girls? Yes. They were. Most of them, yes. Um, yeah, and then my firstborn son, he was also a late reader. And I remember being worried because back then I did not have the same philosophy that I have now. And the first book he finally picked up to read, you know what it was? Lord of the Rings. All of his friends were reading it, and he he wanted to be in the know. He was about 12. Um, I say that. He had to be reading some before then. But that was the first thing he had ever shown interest in. And I caught him one day laying on the couch, just diving, pouring over Lord of the Rings. I was like, Well, there you go. So it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

It's like Andrew's the part I think that as parents we stress about. How do I teach? When am I gonna teach? And then after you've you've homeschooled a couple of kids for a few years, you realize I don't teach them anything. It's not about teaching. I just put it in front of them, and if they want it, they take it. It's like it's like a meal. They're either I can shove it down their throats, yeah, or I can let them partake happily.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Yeah. No, I agree. And and that's the other problem with we waste all this time in school. Um same thing, you know. We we don't remember much of what we were taught unless it was interesting, unless we needed it, wanted it. So same for homeschool moms. Don't try to do what the classroom did because that's not the way kids learn.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Problem is it's the only way we know.

unknown 13:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

We're all public school, and that's the hardest part is, but I don't know another way. What is the other way? And that's what Kelly and I are teaching. Let me show you the other way. There is another way.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

I have a free course on that, by the way. If anybody is interested in that, you can find it in my profile. If you go to my profile, it's in my bio. I call it the three Rs of Stress-free homeschooling, but it's a deschooling course that demonstrates the difference between schooling and education. I need to get that link so I can share it too.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Laurence is me. Hi, Lori. Christine, hi, Katie's here, Sherry's here. Guys, you're welcome to ask any questions you have. If you have a struggling reader, if you're worried about something in your homeschooling, um, or just have any homeschooling questions at all for both of us, one of us. That's my friend Lori saying hi. Hi, that okay. I'm like, I don't know this, Lori.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

I hope you need to. Yeah. I do. She's one of my other mamas in the money-making community that I'm in.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Oh, so she's already in there, ladies. See, it's happening. Women are making money online, yeah. So they can support their families. If only women believed. It's like it's just a belief issue. And then you can what you can do at home in so few hours. It's because we it's the other mindset thing. We still think we have to put in four hours a week to make math.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

And you don't yeah, it's a parallel belief system that we have to kind of get out of.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

And another thing we learned from our um, probably our public school upbringing, just that whole it's like you need eight hours a day to be educated, you need 40 hours a day or 40 hours a week to get paid, and both are false. Yep. You can be educated in one to two hours a day and better, and you can work one to two hours a day. And I'm teaching my kids, don't you dare get a full-time job.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Right. Right. And I mean, praise the Lord that there are people, lots of jobs out there that we need that not everybody can, but it's not the only option for sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

It's not, and I'm grateful for my husband's doing his 40-hour week, sometimes 60, you know. He's an engineer, he's plugging away, but it's watching him plug away and watching what he's missed out with the kids and the family while I'm at home with the kids that I thought. I don't want this for my sons. I want my sons to be able to help homeschool too, and even they sent that.

unknown 15:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Yeah. I spent a lot of time grieving all that time that my husband lost with our kids, especially when they were younger. Um, yeah, it's hard. Because he would have loved to be there too. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Yeah, that has been really hard, and I've watched my husband struggle with it. I try to be careful to thank him constantly for making it possible for me to have the relationship I have with the kids because he knows he'd like to have that.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Yeah, absolutely. There is a way. There is a way. I know my son will have to. Anybody have questions about reading or otherwise? I think I can see.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Not yet. Well, we can talk about reading still, or we can talk more about um another topic.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Anybody have a topic they want us to talk about? Oh, that's a good question. Throw out a topic.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Sometimes people are chatty and sometimes they're not. That's okay. Yeah. Ask it. Oh, well, in the meantime, I have to share this with you. I had a mom ask me yesterday, sent me an email, and said she was afraid to homeschool. So I said, Well, what is the fear? What is keeping you from homeschooling? The answer made me want to cry. And here's what she said. She said, Uh, let me find out. I wrote it down because it just it's something that I felt myself when I started homeschooling. Hi, Emily. She says, I think I'm most afraid that I am not educated enough to teach my kids. I'm afraid they are behind. And what if I'm hurting them by keeping them home?

SPEAKER_00 17:31

All the stuff we just talked about. The whole misconception about how kids learn, it's all on me. And it's not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Wow. Well, and it was interesting. I kept thinking about why does this bother me so bad? And then I realized interesting that as mothers were like, okay, before I bring them home, we ask ourselves these questions. Let's make just good parents. But what is interesting is we don't turn that around and ask those same questions with the system they're currently in. So is the public school system really set up for my child and their needs to be able to meet them? Are they really getting them ahead? Or are my children behind by being there? There's a question people don't ask. Are my children behind because they're in the system? And then am I hurting them by leaving them there?

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Another phrase I often say, school hurts kids. Not all kids, but school hurts kids. And that's why that letter of apology that I did what hit such a nerve. The comments, I got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of comments. Um, this was me in school. I'm 70 years old, and I still feel the weight of not measuring up in school. I mean, just so many heartbreaking comments. And that's something we don't talk about. How often school damages kids for life.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

I've asked parents, like, did you really come out unscathed? And they'll be like, well, no, because I'm like, then why are we doing this too? Why are we repeating this? If we came out knowing we didn't get educated, knowing we didn't let we weren't happy there, knowing, and yet we still are hoping for a better system that has only gotten worse. So Paulia did ask a question. Let's so this is my first year homeschooling. I overwhelmed myself in the beginning. I got a bunch of didn't books. We do, sorry, hold on. Um we do the books, but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing too much or not enough. My middle seven has no interest in reading. He has a hard time with it. My daughter, nine, struggles in math, and I don't know how to get her to want to do it. Do you want this one, Kelly? You want me to?

SPEAKER_00 19:36

With math, basic math is all that I think kids need to know. If you've got a kid that's bent toward engineering, um, you're gonna see that tendency in them. I think that you can speak on this too, Rebecca, but I think if you've got a child who is bent toward, you know, loving those career, those STEM careers, you're gonna be able to see those tendencies show up. Does that make sense? And then otherwise, don't worry about. I mean, can they add and subtract? And do they understand how to find percentages of something? Like I have a calculator. If I need to know a percentage of something, I could either do it real fast in my head or I can do it on a calculator. Those basic living number things to me. That's what I think.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

I agree with that. I have noticed in my kids that each child wanted to learn math differently. And so sometimes it's not math, it's which curriculum you're using. I have found a curriculum that will ruin the love of learning, depending. So we did teaching textbooks one year, and I had one child thrive and go like crazy, and the other kid was like, You're kidding me, right? And wouldn't. And then, and so the kid who wouldn't on teaching textbooks, we found another program for and we had them use this one, and she did great, but child number three didn't like the first two. And so, what we did is we basically were like, Look, you have to learn math because it's life. This is how you move on in life. You can choose how. I had one child literally choose math games for years. She did number games and online math games, and and she was my best mathematician, my fourth child because she didn't like what the other siblings were doing. She's like, I just want a math game. And she was my best numbers girl. She actually surpassed her sister, who was six years older because she was because she did games.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

And so sometimes it's not about math, it's about how we're doing I love math games. Math games, brain games, um, brain games teach the same kind of reasoning skills that algebra teaches. I heard a math teacher say that he does not agree that higher math should be required in school. And someone uh you know brought up the point of well, but higher math teaches us reasoning skills and analytical skills. Of which can also be accomplished through brain games. So that's another option for your kids. What we do is I let my kids go as far as they want to go and can handle. When we get to the point that there are just tears and awful roadblocks and you know a lot of stress, I don't make them continue. And one of the things I've replaced the higher math, like what I had a son that was an artist and just really struggled with math. We just switched and started doing finance. We did Dave Ramsey's personal finance, which in my opinion is much more useful to kids than algebra. I mean, so yeah, just my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

I agree with that. Now, being married to an engineer who did all the higher maths, he disagrees with me 100% on this. So spouses don't necessarily agree. I tell them, I'm like, look, if you can't, but but I do push percentages in deaths because that's money. And I thought it was interesting that in the school system, they kind of get it done and move on. And I was like, but that was the one I didn't understand as well. And has it affected me the most in my lifetime? Understanding interest, understanding paying it versus earning it, those types of things. And so we have like really taken years on decimals and percentages because money. Yep. But he's okay with that.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Yeah. My point was that I was trying to make like I had the one child I was talking about that was so repelled by math, it was clear he was not going to be going into a STEM career. Whereas if you have a child that's naturally bent that way, you're not going to have that kind of opposition. Right. So I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Yeah.

unknown 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

And you can tell. I have my third child. Actually, he's so funny. He's my mechanic. And he could be an engineer if he would, but he's so ADHD. He will never be able to engineer because there's too much detail. I'm like, please don't ever build anything that people get into. But but he loves math in his head. So I got him tutors because it was the only way he would learn was to have somebody to answer to that wasn't me. He did pay for tutors for him to get him. I got him up to I don't know, high school math. But he just said, I need to do it in my head. He loved playing the game of trying to figure it out without writing it down. And I'd be like, that's fine, but write it down anyway. And he would, and it was right. And I was like, Wow, okay. But it was just interesting. He was like, No, I want to figure out how the shortcut in my head. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

That's awesome. Go for it.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

I know. I was like, great, but don't ask me to do it because I can't do it. Yeah. Amanda says, Hello, how are you guys today? I just started homeschooling two of my four kids, and I have a fourth grader who loves math, but struggles with reading. I'm not surprised. He struggles with the T H S H C H sounds, also confuses B and D. You're not Hispanic, are you? Do you speak Spanish? Because that's pretty typical if they speak both languages. He seems to get in by the time we finish for the day, but when we try again later, he struggles. Like he didn't really get it. Any tips I could use to get it to stay.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

How old is he? Uh fourth grader. I'm thinking. I mean, I am a huge proponent of copywork in general. Um, I would try copy work, which is simply copying a well-written book, literature, a paragraph. At his age, a paragraph would be sufficient, just as it's written. Well, it's an old practice that has proven to be effective. Um, and then I would just give him some time. I mean, fourth grade. How old is fourth grade? You can't even knew us. I'm thinking, is that like eight? Or is that third grade? It's from eight to ten. It's like nine. Yeah. And you she probably missed earlier when we both talked. Okay, we both talked about I had one that didn't read well at all until he was 11. Um, eleven or twelve. I've had a couple, so we talked earlier. You probably missed it. Don't get hung up on the timeline, the expectation that every child needs to be reading well by this age or something's wrong. Kids are just different.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

So, yeah, and it might just be more practice. Maybe he needs. I find um, sorry, I started reading Pollyanna's comment and then I got distracted. Um, when it comes to reading, you might think about more audiobooks. And somebody taught me this when my kids were struggling with reading my first few is get them listening to more vocabulary. And I actually learned this. So I speak Spanish fluently, but I didn't learn it until my 20s. So I actually moved to Bogota, Colombia for 18 months and submerged myself, and I could not speak English for 18 months. And so the language did come. But here's how language works. And this is when it taught me there's actually a pattern to learning a language, they teach it wrong in the public school system. And that's it is be learning my second language is what taught. You have to hear it constantly first. And it wasn't until I was I could understand every word that I was able to then start speaking the words. Then I started being able to copy the words I started to hear, and then the speaking came. But I still couldn't write it, and I still wasn't sure about my V's and my B's, and I still wasn't sure. And what's interesting when you said the the sounds, the C H, the S H, the T H, the D, the B, there were some sounds that were still confusing me, and I wasn't sure how to spell them. And so, especially depending on who's talking, so they have to first grasp the language audibly, then they have to grasp the language verbally, then they start to grasp the language in a reading form. Then they can start writing, and we just throw all of it at them in public school. Um, and so this is why copyworks works so well, because you don't have to think about what you're writing yet. You're just writing and that repetitive hand-eye coordination, the repetitive watching of the same letters over and over again. I still don't write well in Spanish, and I've been speaking Spanish for 30 years. Wow. And I still struggle, I don't practice it. Um, I can speak it, but I can't sit down and write a book. I couldn't write an essay in Spanish to save my life. I could sit down and just think I was a local, as long as you don't make me write it down. So, and it's the same thing with our first language, is these you have that's why the copy work is so important to strengthen the language of the hearing and the speaking.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

That's good. I like that. I didn't know you could speak Spanish. How have you kept it up not being immersed in that culture anymore? Because I've always told my kids there's no point in me teaching you a language unless you're gonna go somewhere where you're forced to speak it. Because I took two years of college Spanish and I can't speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Well, I married a Hispanic, but so that yeah, so my husband, when we got married, barely spoke English. And we've always done Spanglish, we've always used both. All of his families only speak Spanish when we're together. Oh so you still kind of are immersed. Yeah, so I'm still immersed, and so it's become a part of who I am now. And my husband and I go back and forth anytime we don't want the kids to understand, we just speak it. But but several of our children speak it now because so I I was a missionary for the LDS church, and that's where I was there. Well, the interesting thing is um, several of my siblings also served missions in Spanish speaking countries, came home fluent, but haven't kept it up. And they can understand if I say it, but they can't verbalize it as well as I can because they haven't kept it up. And so, yeah, I agree. If you're not gonna immerse yourself, don't waste your time. Yeah, it's a waste of time, in my opinion. Yeah, unless you're just listening. Now I did grow up hearing it because my father spoke Spanish because of a mission as well. And we grew up in California where we were hearing it all the time. And because I heard it all the time, I didn't pick it up quickly. Yeah, okay. So I didn't have a traineeer, it did come quickly. It's a gift, but I do believe it's because I also grew up hearing it, even if I didn't speak it. So I'm sure that helped, yeah. Yeah, um, Pollyanna says, so she grasps basics, it's just she doesn't like learning and anything past basics other than decimals. I think I might try online games, yeah. Then my son's sitting down, him down to read. Even if I read the book, he gets bored. So easy. It's if it's the book he's been okay. I actually have ideas of both of those. Kelly, have you ever gone um used toy theater? No, toy theater is a free online program. Now, I almost never recommend a free program online because they're usually hidden with capturing your child. Um, toy theater, I've enjoyed. It's free math games. Put your child on the math game in there. My kids, oh, what it did for their brains, just keep them on the math. Um, but there's some great math games on there. And then uh for your child about reading the book, have you considered having him do something? I'm guessing he's a mechanical brain, not a verbal brain. And so my kids do Legos while I read or art while I read. Like, we as a family cannot listen while we sit still. That's impossible. It drives my husband crazy. But I'm like, everybody gets something to do while dad reads out loud. Yep. Is he doing something while he listens? I think that's a that does help. No, just English Manda. Okay, that's fine. I was just curious. So this is the exact same sounds that Spanish speakers struggle with, English speakers struggle with, and people who do both languages struggle with. So that's why I thought it was interesting. Um, Emily says it's our first year homeschooling. My son is seven, almost eight, second grade, and math just doesn't come easy to him. He cries every day. It's super tough. He thrives in phonics and spelling, loves history, but not math. We are ready for summer. Question for you, Emily. If it upsets him so much, why are you doing it? If he doesn't do math in second grade and you backed off for a year and picked it back up in a year, what would that do? Mm-hmm. Yeah, just come back to it later. It's not gonna be on his resume when he goes to college. How old was he when he learned math? It's not going to be on his resume with his first job. What do you mean he didn't learn math until he was 10?

SPEAKER_00 32:58

And sometimes those abstract concepts just need time. What we were saying earlier, what might be so hard at one age in a year, we'll just click like that. And the math is often the case.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

I actually had a woman ask me, she was a liaison between public schools and homeschoolers. Anyway, she asked me, I don't understand why our homeschoolers behind. She said, every child that she registered into this program, she said they're either behind in math or reading and advanced in the other. And I don't get it. Explain it to me. And I thought that was fascinating. I said, well, because we let our kids do what they need to do. Every child, and I don't know, okay, Kelly, correct me if I'm wrong, is either strong in language or math. They're different parts of the brain. And they will be early in one and late in the other. Probably. And that's fair. Right? Like I have kids who took off in in language. My first child was bilingual at two and was translating for her sister because we were speaking both languages. But child three and four didn't even talk till they were four. And so, but they're mechanically inclined. They were doing Legos and building things and even now work on cards together. And so think, is my child just strong in language and weak in math? And maybe we just need to eight and that's okay. Or vice versa.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

And that's why I talk so much about this when I mentioned earlier school hurts kids, because school expects all kids to perform at the same level across every subject. And that's just not how most kids are wired. Um, every kid has a different form of intelligence, or there are many, many forms of intelligences, and that might look like being really bad at math and really good at something else. And we need to learn to be okay with that.

unknown 34:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

And you have to ask yourself, where are my strengths? Am I good at math or am I better at a language? Obviously, language is my thing. Math, not so much, but that doesn't mean that I expect me. It's not like anybody expects me to be at engineering math level as an adult. Right. So why do we expect of our kids what we can't? We would never think of expecting of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

And I use this example with my son, who is an absolute genius of an artist. Unbelievable, honestly. I would never expect every kid to draw like he draws, but we expect that in the subjects. So that's his genius. He's terrible at math, but that's his genius, and that's okay. Yeah, and that's hard.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

I think that's hard. Um, Caitlin says, I'm currently trying to detox me my two from public school. I'm currently working DoorDash so I can get a Chrome, but that's that's a great idea, guys. Sorry about the messages, just ignore the private homeschool DMs. I promise I'll get those figured out. Um Pollyanna says she'll try it. Thank you. Good. Let us know how it goes. Hi, Jen. Jen, how you doing? I know you. Uh, Pollyanna, do you guys do summer school as well? I wanted to pick one subject or two for each kid to continue through summer, just 20, 30 minutes per kid a day. Or would it be too much? Do you think they should get that break? Go for it, Kelly. I know what you're gonna say.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

So do we the first part again? Read let me hear that first part again.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

I was reading a comment. Do we do summer? And then she was thinking about doing one or two subjects a day through summer, 20 or 30 minutes, and that's it. Or do you give them a break?

SPEAKER_00 36:29

I mean, they're learning all the time. So I wouldn't do the school. I mean, I've done it both ways, but I give them a break and let them follow the things that they love. They need free time, they need lots of free time.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

And I agree with that to a point. We do relax summer because there's more playtime to be had. I also think it's a great motivator time to be had. So if we have a pool that we go to, it's like, great, guys, the pool opens at noon. You got till noon to get your reading, writing, and math done. Let's go. And so I'd be like, I don't want my kids to think that there's ever a reason to take a break from education. Like education is who we are, it's what we do. Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

It just and that's what I should have clarified. We take a break from some of their schooling, but they still are expected to read and do those things too. So, because yeah, that's that's year-round education is year-round. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

And we do take a break from like a lot of our classes that we're taking. We take a break from like heavier stuff because in the winter it's better. Um, but I still like, are you kidding me? All your kids are your friends from public school are off, which means they're all gonna sleep in and they all have to do their chores before they can play. So reading, writing, math, and a chore, and you can go play. And boy, they're more motivated in the summer to get it all done than they were in the winter. Yeah, I can see that. So I don't waste that time. That's good. Uh Emily says, Here's the thing. I went to a private school kindergarten in first grade and struggled to be there. So I chose to keep them home. I still use a Becca curriculum because that's what they use. And I was worried he would want to go back and be even farther behind. Take it, Julia. I saw your face when I said it back up.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

Ah, I mean, you know, somebody asked me this the other day. Well, what if I want to put him back in school? And then at that point, I'm like, well, then you probably do need to be kind of staying along, but don't put him back in school. And Becca is just so um intense. It's not my favorite curriculum. I don't recommend a Becca personally, but um anyway, it's just too intense, too much.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

No, I find a Becca to be overwhelmingly parent. It was not built for a parent with more than one child. If you have one kid and you want to go through a becca, by all means. So you have two kids and you're trying to follow a becca, your brains are gonna be like most homeschoolers that I know that quit homeschooling were using K-12 or a Becca. Yep, it just got to be too much. They got overwhelmed and they thought it was homeschooling. No, it's the curriculum. And a Becca is old and the original, but it is I would never recommend. I love that they're Christian-based idea, but it is not built for a mom and the way she lives life.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Yeah. And for those watching too, I tell people just you know, if you're overwhelmed by curriculum, we do reading from real books, copy work, and a math book. And that's pretty much it. We don't even have a curriculum other than the math. Um, we've done different things for math. Um, but you know, somebody gave the example the other, or I read the example the other day. Would you rather read a textbook version of the American Revolution, or would you rather read a story where the characters come to life? And while you're reading a real life book, you're learning about geography or history or science. Like there's so much more to learn in a real book than a textbook. So we just a long time ago, I just stopped looking at curriculum. We just don't do it. But most of it, I mean, it's and there's sometimes it's good to have guide guardrails. And especially I recommend for moms starting out, it might be just too much of a jump to go from school to no curriculum. So there are plenty of good things out there, not wrong to use, but don't get bogged down thinking you have to do all this curriculum. And so many online resources, by the way. Like my homeschool village.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Yeah. Um, Lisa, and I agree with you 100% on that, by the way. Um, Lisa says my kid just doesn't want to read, but she will read what she wants. I tell her to go get a book, you want to read. Then she whines about it. How can I make it fun for her? I do voices and read in low tones. Do you want to answer that one? You want me to?

SPEAKER_00 40:54

Well, I'm confused about why she whines if she's getting to pick her own books.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Yeah, I agree on that one. Um, I had like four stories pop into my head. When I started homeschooling, I had littles and we joined a co-op. And the woman who was leading it had six kids she'd already homeschooled and had a youngest. And her kids were all in college, the older ones. And then her youngest was like six, you know, surprise baby. And her kids were all like in college straight A's. And so I asked her the same question as like, because I had kids who didn't want to read and were reading. And she said that she never did a reading curriculum requirements or even a writing curriculum. She said, All I ever did was I let my kids read whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. And that was it. She said, they're all amazing readers, they all love books, um, they all are excellent writers and they all ace college. She said, and even their professors have asked me what I did, and I say, I let them read what they wanted when they wanted. That was it. And so a child does not fall in love with reading. A child falls in love with stories. So are you robbing her of the joy of the story because you are it's time to read, go read? Or are you putting books out everywhere in your house, hitting the library once a week, giving her all the books, and then just giving her the free time to do it?

SPEAKER_00 42:18

Yeah. And telling those stories. I like to, for our read aloud, I like to find the most interesting stories that I can find and introduce them to stories. And I have kids who most of my kids honestly don't love to read. Um, but we're constantly talking about the joy and love of reading, the importance of reading, the importance of stories, and I still read to the um and I was gonna, you mentioned the college thing again for people, and Emily said she wished she had found a sooner. That's very sweet, Emily. One of the stories that I tell that help moms relax so, so, so much. I mentioned that we basically only do copy work for English. And I had a daughter that went to college for nursing, and her college professor in her English emailed her. I remember I was there, and he said, Hey, can I use your essay to show the class? It's such a great essay. Um, she had never written an essay before because all we had done is copy work. And so that concept of, well, how will they be prepared for college if I don't make them do essays, if I don't make them do all this curriculum, they just are. You know, and I probably went into that with a little bit of like, I don't know if this is gonna be enough or not. But now that I've had that experience, and I'm like, oh, it actually was enough. So and more than they were in other schools. Yeah, she was outperforming her public school counterparts, so that should encourage you.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

Yes, I agree. Emily says they wanted to hold her son back both years. I always think that's funny when they failed a child and then want to hold them longer to fail them again. This is a women's uh Bellin. Hi. Well, it says I'm trying to apply Montessori materials for math for my second grader. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Trying to apply Montessori what for her second grader?

SPEAKER_01 44:04

I don't know if she'd supply for Montessori materials or apply Montessori materials to their life, but Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

I mean, Montessori definitely falls goes from what I know about it, is a lot more of an unconventional approach and a more natural approach. I haven't really dug into the specifics of Montessori and how the curricul are I don't do they have a curriculum? I thought it was just a school that you could go to.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

Yeah, I think it's based more on play and then following their passions a little more. And um I think as far as like manipulatives go, like you don't have to buy if it has the name Montessori on it, it's gonna be more you could just get mass games and just get like magnetics and Legos. Those are mass games, kids just don't know it. Yep. Um and yes, Emily, we're glad you're here. Thank you. Um Salisa says it's because that her daughter wants to read to, not read it for her. I don't understand the problem. Don't read it for her then. Right. If I understood that, I don't know if I understood that. Um okay, Bell and ADHD is not a problem, it is just a different way of doing things. And any child who has ADHD just needs things broken up into smaller bites. That is it, and needs to be able to not have to sit still and learn. So I've married 26 years to my loving husband, who is very much an engineer and sits still to learn and is very good at it. And I have been driving him crazy for 26 years because I can't. In church, I have to have something so I can listen to a sermon. Because I was like, I can't for that long.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

That's why I have trouble exercising. I'm like, I'm bored out of my mind.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

I can't why I love weightlifting because you swap, you switch it out, switch it out, you switch it out. I'm like, I only have to get eight reps in three times and I'm out of here. And I yeah. Um, and so all you do is you get you just do different ways of doing it. They can learn with chalk on the outside on the sidewalk instead of a piece of paper and a pencil. You just have to think outside the box. You move more.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Yeah. Read let them read upside down, whatever they, you know, whatever they want to do.

SPEAKER_01 46:25

Yeah, put them in a tree. Let them let them go build a tree house and read there, put a blanket out on my kid's favorite place to read was on a blanket outside under a tree. You just stop thinking that learning is only done at a desk and notice that learning is everywhere. And an ADHD kid learns more moving than stem still. How do we know? Because we're both one. Squirrel brides. Oh, you're so welcome, Bellin. Where are you from? That is not that is a new name I've never heard. We had a woman who's going to be joining us in my homeschool village from Ireland. Oh, fun. We are officially worldwide. We have five countries now. That's awesome. So love it. Yeah. I was surprised. We've got Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, UK, and Ireland.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

Wow. That is wow. Thank you, Lisa. Officially worldwide. That's awesome. So if you haven't joined my homeschool village, you need to go do it.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

So get in there quick. May says, Hi Rebecca, on the live classes you offer, if the 15 student max is met, is the class available to see later? Yes, but actually what happens is we just create a new class because we want to be able to have the kids live. Um, now if your kids come in and like we have 16 that day, we're gonna still run the class. We're not gonna kick anybody out. What we'll do is go, okay, we hit our max on this. Let's start a new one and we'll divide by age, probably, and then just keep going. So yeah, don't worry. We do have that max on there. Thank you, Pollyanna. Yes, thank you, Pollyanna. Yeah, oh good. Lisa says, Thank you. I do know she loves to learn, but getting her to do it, it's like pulling teeth, but she does it. So, Lisa, just a thought. Maybe look at what is it that motivates her to learn. And if you sing something, I have a couple of kids that if I recommend they learn something, they won't touch it with a 10-foot pole. But if I leave it out and they see it and it's their idea, they'll dive on in. And so a lot of kids just refuse because mom wants it. You haven't had any of those, Kelly.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

No, yeah, actually, all the time. It's funny because I ordered my boys a magazine, the Cricut magazine. And yeah, if it's ever my idea, mom, but if I just open it up says, you know, a fascinating picture, whatever, I'll catch them over there, you know, both of them poured over the magazine. So yeah, you have to be clever, sure.

SPEAKER_01 48:54

Yeah, I've done a lot of like uh baiting the house. Yeah, you bait the house, you go around like puzzles. And one year I just wanted to learn about the body. And when I brought it up, they're like, no, thanks. So I went and bought every body book, like all the different levels, pre-KK, like right. I bought puzzles on the body, I bought a live body. I just went and like that year, just bought everything about biology for the human body. Yeah, listed around the house. That was it. Oh my gosh, my kids have never poured over a subject so much. Why have I never done this before? That's great. I love it. That's how you have to do it. It's not about now we're gonna learn about the arm.

SPEAKER_00 49:36

It's so true though. Just spark their imagination, spark their interests. So, and there are lots of ways to do that. Yeah, well, I'm gonna hop off of here. My boys are saying, Mom, it's time to thank you. Thank you for letting me on, though. This was fun. All right, all right. Thanks for coming, Kelly. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

Hey guys, if you're looking for how to create an income, she's following her. That's what she teaches, as well as homeschool facts. Isn't she amazing? I love that woman. Um, so yeah, any more questions before I sign up as well. Let me see if you have. Oh, I had a thought on that. Oh, another little trick when you are homeschooling your kids is leaving the books out. Okay, for you clean freaks. Now, this is what I used to do all the time. I would, we would go to the library and then I would pick some books I wanted them to read, and I would leave them out. Like I would find something, like she said, interesting and leave it out on the coffee table, leave it open on the couch, leave books stacked on the side tables. I left books around. And my kids would just sit, be bored, grab a book, and go through it. And they got a lot of education that way. Then my husband started, you know, COVID happened, right? My husband came home full time. Guess what he kept doing? Cleaning up books, putting them on the bookshelves. They go on the bookshelves, drove them crazy that they were around. My kids quit reading, they quit being as interested. And it didn't dawn on me for a while. I was like, what happened? Why are the kids bored and not doing things? Why are they always because your child will not go to a bookshelf to look for a book. They won't do it. You've got to leave them around. You've got to leave them open. You've got to leave the mess out for them to grasp it. So if you want your kid to learn a subject, find an interesting book at the library, leave it out. This was something that took me a long time. And I was so frustrated with my husband because it was like, you ruined it. You took it from them. Don't you see what I'm doing here? Um, and by the time I realized it, the kids were moving on. And I thought, I missed it. I missed it. I didn't realize what I was actually doing, and I didn't realize what a gift it was. And as now that I'm thinking about it, I didn't really do that. I'm gonna go leave a couple of books around for some of my kids. Um, find great books and leave them out here and watch what your kids will learn without you doing anything else. Hi, Rain Poppy Pats. Welcome. Hi, Lisa. Um, okay, any other questions for me here in my homeschool village? So our regular price is $99 a month for one child. That includes the entire curriculums that they need. It includes our complete community and support system, and it also includes live classes that they can join in the afternoons. Um, if you have more than one child, two children or more are $199 a month. And that includes three, your third, fourth, fifth, sixth child. Okay, it's maxed at $199 a month. Where are we located? So I personally am in Alabama right now. I have lived in like four or five states. This is where we're at right now, but we are online. It's at myhomeschoevillage.com. Okay.com is where the program is. Everything's online. It is not live. Oh, I mean, it's live online, like Zoom calls, Zoom classes. It is not um local. So nobody shows up to classes. We will eventually do a fun mom retreat. So you want to be in on that. Um, so yeah, myhomeschoevillage.com. Just go there and it'll show you exactly what's inside the village, and then you can sign up. When will the classes start up again? Are they still going now? They are going now. And we do set up our classes so at any time that you join, you're not too far behind. Okay. They're not graded. So your child won't like have to go back and make them up. Um, they're just so that every day has so much information and such great stuff that today you learn. And yes, sometimes there's homework and you can do it if you want. Um, it that's up to the parent. But our classes are year-round. We do start a new season in summer in June, or we have our summer classes starting. And so we'll kind of start fresh again and do a summer course. And our summer is always a little bit lighter, and then in the fall, we'll start again. And so we use semester, fall, and spring semesters to swap out classes, add new ones, take ones that maybe they didn't like as much, that kind of thing. And that is about to happen, but your kids can hop in at any time. Some of our things are just clubs. There's a chess club, and the kids get in and they're learning how to play chess and play each other, and they do breakout rooms and they're playing each other. Um, we have a Minecraft group and the kids are getting in and hanging out and playing. In the summer, we're gonna add um a couple of other play times, like maybe a Stardew Valley or something like that, where the kids can get in and hang out and play together. That's really um our expertise because they can play, but we also always have a parent watching so that nothing ever gets inappropriate, the wrong person never pops on, um, nobody can ever be mean. So we babysit everything, but we are creating more playgrounds. Hi, beauty lets. Also, could that be applied to homeschool? What do you mean? Not sure if that would be okay for North Carolina. Yes, it is okay for North Carolina. One of our um moms on the team is actually a North Carolina mom. So if you have questions and you get in there, she can help you with that. She's really good at like showing you um how to make my homeschool village work inside North Carolina. North Carolina is not that hard to homeschool in. They have a lot of regulations and rules. What they actually follow up on is a whole different story. Okay. Um, so yes, my homeschool village is a private online homeschool. Okay. The difference between that and a private school is that the parent is still in charge of grading uh diploma. We can show you how. We show you where to get your diploma, but you write it up. We show you how to do transcripts, but they're your responsibility. So it's still 100% your responsibility. We just give you all the tools you need to be able to do it well. Um, if we become a private school, now the government gets to decide some things, and that's why we haven't done that. Does that make sense? Hi, Neve. Welcome. What about end of grade testing? I love this question. Wait, are you in you're in North Carolina? Okay. I have to be careful with this. You have to be tested in North Carolina at certain grades. Yes. Nor does it state what they have to be graded at. So yeah, your child has to go and be tested, but even if they flunk, the state does not take away your right to homeschool, nor can they. Okay. All it is is a reporting. We had people show up, they took this test, this is how they're doing. Now, I'm not saying go in and blow the test, okay? And I'm but I'm also saying don't teach to the test. That is not why we homeschool. We don't teach to test. Let your kid go in and take it. Now, don't worry about the test. Okay. As homeschoolers, we don't teach to test. So don't expect your child to ace it. They may ace it, they might blow it. But the point is, if they expect a sixth grader to know about World War II, then you didn't teach World War II because your child got sensitive and cried the last time you tried. Um, and you'd skipped World War II until next year, but they got tested on World War II and flunked it, it's okay. Nothing happens at all. Like there's they're required to be tested. They're not required to pass, they're not required to do anything. The state can do nothing if they don't do well. Like, that's it. Any sense? So don't worry about the test. Take it, do it, don't stress your kids over. Tell them it's a practice for college, not a big deal. And the more stressed you become about it, the more your child will panic about it. Um, but yeah, that's really the truth is it doesn't matter. No, there's a lot of states right now coming after homeschoolers, and that might be one of the reasons. But they cannot require your child to accomplish anything in homeschooling. That's the whole point. That's the whole point. And you know what? So your kids may not know what the public school kids know, but they will know things the kid public school kids don't know. And it's okay. Your children might feel dumb if they're talking about a particular topic that everybody else learned in fifth grade because they didn't learn it in fifth grade. And for a minute, they're not going to be involved in that conversation. It's okay. They were doing something else, they were learning something else. When you're homeschooling, you're teaching the whole child, and that is a different map altogether. Public schoolers are using a map. Homeschoolers are map free. We are free for a reason, and our children learn more because of it. We are teaching the whole person body, soul, spirit. That's the wrap for today. I hope you're leaving with something real, something you can actually use. This is a long game. You don't have to get it all right today. Just show up tomorrow. That's enough. If this episode helped you, share it with another mom who needs it. And if you're ready for a village to do this with, find us in the show notes. Until next time, keep going. The revolution starts at home.