Into Her Story: I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

On this episode of FMCx2, your hosts Nat and Samantha are talking all things I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy. From heartbreaking moments to unbelievable revelations, we're unpacking this raw and deeply personal memoir in our own honest(and slightly chaotic) way.

 Jennette shares what it was like growing up as a child start under the control of her mother, the lasting impact of emotional abuse, and the difficult journey of reclaiming her own identity after years of manipulation and grief. 

Whether you've already read it or are curious about one of the most talked about celebrity memoirs in recent years, welcome to our little book club, all are welcome here. 

Disclaimer: This episode discusses a lot of triggering topics please review all warnings online before diving in. Listener discretion advised. 

 As always, we start spoiler-free with a brief discussion and our personal ratings. We will then give a clear spoiler warning before diving deeper, in case you want to pause and read the book first. 

Follow us on Instagram @fmcx2podcast for updates and behind-the-scenes content. New episodes every two weeks. 

All opinions are our own and we are not affiliated or sponsored by any authors, publishers, or brands.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey, I'm Nat. And I'm Samantha. And welcome to episode six of FMC Squared. Alright, guys. So we are going to be reviewing our latest book, which is I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

I am gonna be reading the inside of it, and bear with me because it's a little limpy, but I'm gonna hold it down. Um, Jeanette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother's dream was for her only daughter be to become a star, and Jeanette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along what mom called calorie restriction, eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while mom chided, your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn't tint hers. She was even showered by mom until age 16 and was also forced to share her diaries, email, and her entire income. And I'm glad my mom died. Jeanette recounts all of this in unflinching detail, just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called ICarly, she is thrust into fame. Though mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first name basis with the paparazzi, Hi Gal. Jeanette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifests into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff, Sam and Cat, alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quentin acting, Jeanette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants. Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I'm glad my mom died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Wow, this book was so good.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

I well define good, Samantha.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Good as in I was sucked in from the second I started. But there is a lot of triggers in here for sure. A lot of triggers. We were just talking about that earlier.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

I'm gonna just go ahead and start listing a few. Um, definitely any type of weight issues, so like anorexic, um, bulimia, um, any eating disorders, um, child molestation, narcissistic mom. Um geez. So many. Foot fetish, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

So many. So definitely proceed with caution. Alcohol addiction. But wow, to like get the glimpse into the look of you know a childhood star's life.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yeah. Um, I don't I don't I don't even know for sure, like after I read the book, if I even wanted to know all of that. No, I I know, dude. I know. I wish I could erase some of it out of my memory, like knowing that we were just casually, and of course, this iCarly is definitely, I feel like, more so my my time frame. Yeah. Um, but just to know that we were like casually watching her like beat people with a fucking butter sock and meanwhile not eating anything.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

What the fuck? So for me, I gave this four and a half out of five stars. I really, really liked it. I did take off a half star low-key just because it it did have so many triggers in it, and there was so many times I was like, oof, I need a little break.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Um, I personally will give I will give it a five out of five. I really enjoyed it. I think Jeanette's writing style was also really nice. It was very simple. Um very casual, very like friendly. Yeah, it felt like you were kind of like talking to a friend, but like about their deepest, darkest secrets.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Absolutely. It felt like you were, and okay, I also want to say I did do the audiobook on this, um, and I absolutely recommend it if you are someone that is okay with doing audiobooks because Jeanette herself narrates it, and it is really cool because it does feel like you're honestly like getting a glimpse into her diary, innermost thoughts kind of thing. Um it was very cool to like hear her voice delivering it in the way that she intended to, which was nice. That is cool.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Before we jump into this book, we do want to give everyone an opportunity to go ahead and read it. It does say over three million copies have sold. Um, I think people are obsessed with this book. It is good. I'm not gonna lie. I will be lying if I didn't agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

They are going to be coming out with a TV show.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

They are gonna be coming out with a TV show now. I think it is gonna be a while before they actually release it. And last I checked, it was gonna be released on Apple TV, which I don't know about y'all, but that's too fucking rich for me.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Now I have to sign up for a free subscription and binge it all in like a week. Exactly. Which I'll do. You know, I'll do that. I'm not against any of that.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

I'm not against any of that. But um, we just want to give you guys a chance to go ahead and kind of step away from the podcast in case you want to go and read this book before we jump into the details, because we will be jumping into the details. We're gonna get into it. There's a lot again. This is I'm glad my mom died by Jeanette McCurdy. All right, so enjoy your reading and we will see you back for the deeps. Yes. And uh, we are coming back to uh kind of go over briefly. I'm gonna have Samantha take this away because she was the note taker with all of us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Had to get into it, you guys, because I'm gonna fully confess to you guys, I had read this book when it very first came out. Yeah. Um, and then I had to go back because Nat had brought it up, and I immediately was like, yes, I want to read it a second time because I know that I flew through that book and there was so much to unpack. Yeah. And I just feel like I had to take these notes so that later on, after I inevitably flew through it a second time, I could go back and be like reference stuff. Because some of this you just have to sit with for a second. Oh, definitely. It's just wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

It's a lot to unpack. Even my dog thought that it was a lot to unpack. He fucking ate it. Literally, my first book that I have, my dog slipped the fucking cover off and took the entire, and this is a hardcover book. Literally nibbled the fucking book away. Maybe he could feel the essence of Jeanette's mom coming.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Yeah, maybe he just was like, nope, negative energy.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

We don't want this type of energy in the house. And you know, ironically enough, my sister said something about it. She was like, maybe you shouldn't read that book. And I was like, maybe I should. Yeah, you're like, I need to know. Yeah, and she's like, well, maybe like, well, you don't want to think that way about mom. And I'm like, maybe I just should read a book about someone else who's going through crazy stuff with their family. And if I resonate, then I resonate.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Yes. Okay, so let's just start at the prologue in the beginning, essentially. It does immediately start with her the her mom basically being almost dying from cancer. And it just starts off basically saying that, you know, her life from that point like revolved around the fragility of her mom's life. Yeah. And then it, you know, throughout this book, a lot of the theme is like this crazy codependency with her and her mom, and obviously her mom being super controlling and narcissistic. So yeah, chapter one, I mean, basically starts off her being a little kid and just denying uh all of her instincts as far as who she is, stuff she's interested in. If her mom wanted her to like pink, she was gonna like pink. If her mom wanted her, instead of ripping open her birthday present and being a fun little kid, if her mom wanted her to carefully unpack it so she could trim it and keep bits of it because she had hoarder tendencies, you know, that's what she was gonna do. She was gonna mold herself to do every action and movement to make her mom happy. Yeah. Because of the fact that her mom had almost died and had cancer. It was like everything.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Like it was her fucking responsibility. Yes, like first of all. And and just to go ahead and dive into it, because I do feel like there's so many details of this book that if we actually sat down and went over the bits and pieces of everything, this would just be a long ass fucking podcast episode. It would. But um, to jump right in, her mom literally makes the kids sit and watch her video of her dying from cancer every year. Every week. Every week, oh I'm sorry, every week. Let me shut the fuck up. Yes, the details, girl. Yeah, every week, and she highlights how everyone reacts and feels in the video at that time. Like, oh, your brother was just so sad. He he cried all the whole time, and then Jeanette, you wouldn't stop singing jingle bells. You had no remorse. Like, no, you were not reading the room. Bitch, Jeanette is too.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Yeah, it's like you're trying to guilt her for something she did when she couldn't even conceptualize who.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Like, she didn't give a fuck that she was dying. She didn't even know, and not even who she was. Like, she's two, she doesn't understand the concept of death. Yes. Like, what you she doesn't think anything is necessarily that wrong. She doesn't even have the ability to obtain that type of kids at that age are very pure. There's not much that you can do as far as sadness-wise for them. Uh how's she gonna read the room?

SPEAKER_01 9:36

So then her mom basically survives this cancer, and then she goes around. You know, anytime she wants something basically, she manipulates the situation inside by being like, I almost have cancer, I died.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

I almost died, like I was on my deathbed. You don't understand. I can't sit down for long periods of times. I need to be towards and Jeanette talks about like how so embarrassing it is.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

She's like, This is just ridiculous. But her mom wanted to be a child star. Yeah. So because her mom wanted to be a child star, she basically was like, Jeanette, you're gonna be a child star.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Mm-hmm. Jeanette did not like acting. No, she always had said that. Um, she ended up starting to get roles. The way she gets the roles is from her being the crier on the cue. Yes. She can cry on cue, and she literally describes in these books that she can cry on cue because she basically has all this like sadness and remorse built up in her. Yeah, she can reference back to this trauma of like, what if my mom did die?

SPEAKER_01 10:36

What if so and so did happen?

SPEAKER_00 10:38

And that's what she uses to like cry on cue, and people hold on to that. It's just sick.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

And then after a while, it's like she says, you know, she ran out of tears because she started to go emotionally numb. Yeah. And then it was like she felt like she had no worth because that was her one thing that was like. That she could do.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

And her mom also agreed at that time because remember, she lost that book in because she she couldn't cry.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Yes. And her family was Mormons, but her mom also at the same time was like, We're gonna do stuff to like enhance your lashes, your hair, your whatever, your teeth. We're gonna do all the stuff that's uncomfortable for you, that's like burning your hair, you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

And she was so young. Like, we're not talking about someone that's 17, 18 years old that kind of has a say-so, and what's going on. Like, she's like 11, 12, maybe. She's pretty young.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah, she was very young, I think, when she was like, She's like bleaching her hair and stuff like that, and it's just like talking about how her gums were sensitive from like the crest white strips and stuff. Her teeth start falling out. Oh my god. Okay, anyways. Yes, so then you know, she essentially does get booked for a bunch of stuff, and her mom's pushing her to do more and more, even though Jeanette's like, I really don't like this. And then her mom starts to overextend her, being like, You need to also do dancing and do this and that, and signing up for like all crazy stuff that like she just doesn't want to do, and she's exhausted and having to do schoolwork and that and her jobs that she's booking, and she's basically just supporting her family financially for the most part. Her dad works, but it seems like the jobs he's described doing don't sound like they're like super lucrative, right? And it seems like their family, from what it said, was like from kind of a poor area. Yeah, they don't have much they sleep on mats in their house. Yes, within this like harder atmosphere.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

But they're yeah, they have a bunch of stuff all over the beds.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

God, I just couldn't.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

It talks about how Jeanette was like wanting to have friends over and just was like, I can't invite anyone over because this is like embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Yeah, no, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

That's just so heartbreaking. That's just so sad. Like to think of a kid being like that would make me feel claustrophobic, I feel like to live in an atmosphere like that.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

I wouldn't be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

No, and then you know, as she gets older, you know, it keeps going back to the fact that like her mom, like it said, you know, Nat read it in the beginning. It said even in the intro, her mom used to literally shower her. Like she showered her. That's it. Yeah, she didn't shower herself. She showered her, and sometimes she showered her with her brother that was even like a year, I think, older than her brother. Yes, and her mom would always have like reasons like, oh, I gotta make sure you don't have lumps or cancer, or I gotta make sure. Giving her actual text exam and vaginal exams. Which is just I get and apparently and because it says front butt in there specifically, and I kind of refer back to that because it just shows how naive and young Jeanette was when this started, that like that's probably what her mom called it to her. So that it didn't seem um appropriate. Like, and apparently she did it for her brothers as well. And I think she uh definitely had two brothers, maybe three. She had two brothers for sure. And um it even talks about how you know at certain points her mom would talk really badly about her, you know, brothers being like, Well, they're bad kids and you shouldn't be like them. And you know, she it sounds like the mom latched onto Jeanette. Because Jeanette was weak, yeah, and was like, I can mold you, I can make you be what I want to do.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

It's easier to manipulate.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Yeah, I think honestly, she wanted her daughter to get famous so she could try to gain the fame that she never got, like from being like the mom of the children. Jeanette as like a stepping stool, exactly, because she ultimately didn't really care what her daughter wanted, because Jeanette would say, I don't want to do this, and her mom would cry and be like, What do you hate me? You know, whatever, like blah blah. Like, I just uh triggering.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Um it is very triggering. So um kind of fast-forwarding, I think the next big thing that goes on is that she goes onto the iCarly show. Um, she ends up getting close with Miranda and um the creator, which is the what is his name?

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Oh, Dan Schneider. It never officially says, but for those of us that have seen like any of the Nick Dodia.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah, we're definitely making the assumption that it was it was him for sure. But don't quote us on that because we don't really know shit. But I mean one plus one is equintual.

unknown 15:23

Oh, we know. We know.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

But um, they said that he was like encouraging her to drink alcohol and was saying, like, oh, the other kid groups from these TV shows are doing all the time.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

You should do it. Like loosen up, like oh good. It just gives me the heebie jeebies because like old dudes like that are like disgusting. And they still walk the earth. No, like they're everywhere, yeah, rampant. Just like he's the he at your everyday grocery store. Oh dece. Food line, you never know. Gas stations everywhere, they're never safe.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Oh my god I can't. But um, she uh starts doing the iCarly show. She ends up enjoying the cast members, I think, for the most part. She does.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

I think that her relationship with Miranda seems like the one good thing that she kind of holds on to from when they start that show all the way through. Like she always has positive things to say about her. It seems like that really probably kept her sane. Yeah, throughout that process.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Throughout that process. And I do love the fact that even throughout all of this and iCarly discontinued that they were still relatively close and she was still still there for her for the most part throughout the book. Um, I almost kept forgetting that it was like Miranda, like Carly. I know, right? Yeah, that's crazy. I just can't I you completely disassociate because she tried so hard to not be Sam from iCarly. You completely throughout the book, like start disassociating Sam from Jeanette. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

And you read it as like Jeanette's story. We were talking about how, you know, in iCarly, like her signature thing was like she loved eating, she was a bottomless pig. Yeah. She would like have the butter sock, she would hit people with, and yet she was going through all of that.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

She wasn't even actually eating. No. I think that's crazy to think about because everyone knows that Sam on the show was greedy as fuck. Yes. She would eat anything, and now I just wonder, like, was she going in the bathrooms and like throwing up all her fucking food?

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Well, no, at the time, I'm assuming that's probably mostly what she ate for the whole whatever she ate was what she ate. Because at the time I think when she was younger, she was anorexic, but I don't think her bulimia started until well, much later. That is very true. And you know, it talks about with her bulimia how like Nat said like her teeth were like starting to like.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Yeah, because the vomit is your it's acid reflux, so it's not good for it to come back and hit your teeth. Yes. And yeah, she eventually started losing teeth. The the saddening thing about this is like she, and it's not really saddening, I think it's more so empowering. Um maybe I'm using the wrong terminology, is that she wanted so much more for herself. Every time though, and she knew that she wanted more for herself, but there was just a lot of times where she just couldn't do it. Yeah, um, but she never lost that thought.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

I feel like she always coped with her emotions, I feel like, and I think only through her therapy and all this, and like healing a lot of the stuff about her was she able to like stop relying on that to like she was using throwing up as like getting rid of these negative things, emotions when she really needs to find another way to to totally like confronting them and like addressing them, and you know, one thing that I did I totally related to was I went through periods of time where uh to be honest, a lot of times when I thought anorexia, I thought someone ate nothing, right? Like for that was my understanding. But then I was informed later on that it was like, well, if you're eating like less than you know, 500, 600 calories a day, like that is anorexia because that's not even enough calories to keep your body going. So just speaking from someone where like I went I did that to myself, not realizing at the time because I was like, I'm not like anorexic, I'm like eating like what? Like I'm eating stuff. Um but I was eating stuff that was like a bunch of pickles, like cucumbers, like stuff that like meant, you know, it was like air to me. So um, so after like so long of doing that, and then just like Jeanette, you get to the point where you can't do it anymore. Your body's been in starvation too long, and then I did go more to like binge eating, yeah, which is just what happened to Jeanette in the book. She started like just like got away from her mom. She went on tour because she started doing country music stuff, yeah. And then she just started going crazy. She came back and like gained a bunch of weight, and her mom basically was so disgusted in her and was like, Okay, we're going back on calorie restriction and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

But she just while her mom was in the fucking hospital bed dying, she's talking shit about how she's she's overweight. Bitch, you can't even gain weight. You've been in the hospital bed with cancer.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

And Jeanette's like, oh, I'm glad she said that because it lets me know she's like healthy enough to at least think about that. Like that's like that's her norm. Like that's oh, like I can't. Like, it's just crazy. So yeah, this book was, you know, and then you know, another thing that was really wild was when Jeanette finally starts dating. Obviously, her family doesn't want her to. Oh god. They're you know, they are like Mormon and everything, even though they're not.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Wait, before she starts dating, can we talk about how when Jeanette got her apartment, her mom stayed in her apartment for three weeks?

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Loki like sabotaged her, and then like her, I think it was her grandpa maybe came over. Yeah, and Barbie was like and was like, Oh, can I just stay for one night? And then just never left. Yeah. Almost like, you know, a scrub boyfriend would do or something like that. No, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Her mom definitely stayed there, so then um her mom ends up finally going back after staying in her her Jeanette's apartment for God knows how long. Um, and Jeanette starts dating. And make a long story short, the the pictures get out of Jeanette um paparazzi, and her mom sees. I should go and try to, we should pause. I should go and try to find some of these emails in this book so I can read it to you guys. One second.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Yes, okay. You look for that and I'll explain where. So she's supposed to go to Hawaii as like this thanks for completing the show. The show's canceled. I believe that's what it was. You guys get, you know, this money ended a trip for you and one other person. So she told her mom, I'm gonna go with one of my friends. I think it was like a gay friend or something she had. And the whole time they were there, they were doing like this fake three-way calls, her and this gay friend that she had that was covering for her and her mom, and so it was like, Oh, we're here together, whatever. But then paparazzi gets photos of Jeanette with her then boyfriend at the time that her mom didn't want her to be with, and her mom saw these photos and knew Jeanette was lying. So Jeanette uh basically wakes up to about 40 different, you know, emails. And um, voicemails and all this kind of stuff, and the vitriol that her mom is spitting at her is insane, and the crazy back and forths between hating you and needing stuff is wild. So let's get Nat to just like give you a taste again.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Because this is I mean, yeah, this is wild. So this is the email. Dear Nette, I am so disappointed in you. You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little slut, a floozy all used up, and to think you wasted it on that hideous ogre of a man. I saw the pictures on a website called TMZ. I saw you in Hawaii with him. I saw you rubbing his disgusting, hairy stomach. I knew you were lying about Colton. Add that to the things, to the list of things you are. Liar, conniving, evil. You look pudgier too. It's clear you're eating your guilt. Thinking of you with this ding dong inside of you.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

By the way, I'm sorry. Let's pause right there. I'm disgusted by the word ding dong, and it's not even that it's a bad word. It's just like why can't you say like and why are you worried about what's in my vagina, first of all?

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Because she was like inspec that's disgusting. Okay, we're not even done.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Carry on.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

The thinking of you with his ding dong inside of you makes me sick. Sick. I raised you better than this. What happened to my good little girl? Where did she go? And who was this monster that has replaced her? You're an ugly monster now. I told your brothers about you, and they all said they disowned you, just like I do. We want nothing to do with you. Love mom. Or should I say, Deb, since I am no longer your mother. P.S. Send money for a new fridge. Like, fuck off, Deb.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Like, fuck off. Like, I can't. Like, that was some wild shit. And then she got so many more messages like that that her boyfriend literally took her phone away and was like, don't look at this anymore.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

No, definitely. I was trying to maybe try to find another one for you guys, but just know that they're they're vulgar.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

It is like her. Oh, and her mom was like, by the way, I'm gonna go on all these websites and make your fans fucking hate you. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, she was gonna participate. Yeah, and she did it, too. She did. Like, that's wild. Her mom pushed her into being famous and then went and was like, if you're not gonna act the way I want you to act, I'm gonna make all these people hate you. So like they just know you're a bad person. Yeah. It was it was crazy. It's wild.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Like so, and then that's then that's the I think I was glad her mom died. I mean, I was glad the bitch died. Shit. Me too. Shit. And it ain't even my mom. That was wild. It was wild. So even after, and and let's fast forward because the the book still keeps going even after this.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

So um, let's just jump into her mom finally passes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then the witch is dead. God bless. I mean, I know I shouldn't. We all sighed of relief though, when it happened. We did. I was like, thank God. But then I looked at the book and I was like, shit, I got mad chapters left. Like, what the fuck? What's something going on? So Jeanette ends up meeting a nice guy. She ends up doing a stupid runoff show on Netflix that she even was embarrassed to even do the show. Um and she ends up meeting this guy. They end up dating, and it's going good for the most part. And then he tells her that he knows that she's bulimic, because she's bulimic at this moment. Yeah. And that he doesn't feel comfortable pursuing the relationship until she goes to therapy. So she starts going to therapy. Things are looking good. Um, and her and her therapist, I think her name starts with an L. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

I don't remember either.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Lauren. Not deadass. She ends up going to her therapist, and they realize that she binges more often when she's at these like red carpet shows and stuff like that. So her therapist says, you know, um, I'm gonna start coming with you during these shows. That shit didn't matter. Jeanette still ate mad shit at the table. Slider after slider. Slider after slider. I mean, listen, I love a slider. I'm gonna bust a slider down. I'm gonna bust a slider down. But she ends up feeling like complete shit about it. Um, ends up leaving the red carpet event, and the therapist tells her, like, you know, this is what healing looks like.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

But she switched to a different therapist.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

She ends up going to a life coach, and he was more like a dietitian as opposed to like an actual therapist. Yes. Oh, she the therapist tried to tell her that her mom was a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Right. Okay, okay. So some some hard truth.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

It was some hard truth, and she was not fucking with it. She was basically like, you're not gonna tell me that the whole per the person that I built my entire identity on took advantage of me all these years.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

Yes, everything I am is built around who my mom wants me and needs me to be.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

And you're telling me that my mom was manipulating me. Yes. That is a hard truth. That probably would hurt.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

I'm sure, like, it does seem like after her mom died, like she probably does have to literally learn who she is. Yeah. Because she's not had the opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Exactly. And I don't think that that was something that she was looking forward to doing, quite frankly. Um, I mean, shit, me neither. And then in addition, yeah. And then in addition to that, she found out her boyfriend's schizophrenic. This man thinks he thought it was Jesus. He thought he was Jesus. Oh my god. Luckily, he knew he was tripping. And they ended up, yeah, they ended up sending him off to the war, but he ended up being addicted to drugs anyway. She ended up having to leave him, which I love that for her. Yeah, I'm glad that she did. Glad that she did. Yeah, because I love that scene because they both.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

But going to another toxic relationship would have been like a sad end to that.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

That's what I'm saying. You're going backwards, Jeanette. And she knew it too. She knew that she wanted better for herself and that she kept going this direction.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Exactly. So um, I thought that was important, and that was a really big piece for her, too. I think it showed her selling the house too, but then this is where her bitch ass. Oh my god, yeah, she dumbma comes in.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

She spent so much money. This house for years just needed fixing and needed fixing, but she kept it because everyone was like, it's an investment, an investment. And they were like, And you should get a house, like, get rid of it.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Yeah, they were like, it's dumb, like you can't even maintain it, it's stupid. And she goes to tell her grandma that she's selling the house. Her grandma turns into this evil sounds like her mother.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Oh my god, cut from the same cloth. Cut from the same cloth. Yeah, her grandma literally was calling her a bitch and stuff like that. And she was like, if you're gonna be this way, we're gonna be. I'm gonna block you.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Yeah, we're not gonna talk. And the grandma didn't give no fucks. Honestly, I respect a bitch that's that disrespectful because you don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

Dude, when old people hit that age and they're just like, I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

It's not exactly, and it's not dementia, bitch. You just you just act and like ran out of fucks. Yeah, you literally ran out of fucks.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

Yeah, that's when you run out and then you're just crazy and you say whatever you want, and people just have to be like, mm-hmm. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

And then and then poor Jeanette, she can't catch a break. Because even after she cuts off grandma's ass, she founds out that her dad is not even her real dad. Oh my god, that was a big drive. Take it away, Samantha.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

Take it away. Oh my god. Okay, so then her dad starts dating someone not too long after her mom dies. And she's kind of like, What the fuck? Like, this is weird. But then it turns out that he's like, by the way, you guys aren't my kids.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

None of you.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

None of the kids of you. I know who your dad is. Your mom never told you. Jeanette's like, she could have told me when she was on her deathbed. Yeah, and she's gonna be able to do it. She took that shit to the grave. I don't even know what to say about that. You know, it does make me feel better because her dad wrote her name wrong on her birthday card, and that tracks more because he really didn't know who the fuck she was. You know what I mean? So that does track more.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

That is not his fucking kids. That is like, I don't know what that baby name is. That ain't my baby. Who goddamn white baby is this?

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Get on, Maury. I am dead. Okay, no, that was a wild twist.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

Yeah, that was a wild twist. And then her and Miranda going to confront her real dad. I low-key love that we kind of got that, like, I wouldn't necessarily call it a happy ending, but it was just a some type of answer for Miranda. Not Miranda, the uh Jeanette. It was some type of answer for Jeanette for her to actually be able to meet her real father and him actually being open to even having a relationship with her.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

And I love the girlhood of like Miranda and her doing it together. Yes, and her gay friends. Yes, the one that was supposed to go to Hawaii with her.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

But overall, honestly, again, like I said, if we were to unpack this entire book, we would be here for the rest of the night. So many details, but it was a good book. Yeah, and like we said, trigger warnings. If you feel like any of that stuff we discussed in the beginning is something that may like personally trigger you, um, either be strong or put the book down because it it will it will do some things for you. Even for someone that may have not been personally triggered by those things, it was still gut-wrenching for me. Um, that's literally on the book, I think. Gut wrenching.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yeah, you just feel so bad that like someone would be subjected to this force of like almost like mind control from such a young age to feel like their every move would make the difference in the life or death of their parent.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

That's absolutely diabolical. That's wild. So this was gonna be my question. Yeah. Because obviously, yeah, obviously, in this book, I told Samantha I was gonna save her a question until the end. Yes. And so it's in this book. She decided that she wanted to get more into write-in. My question to you is do you think that Jeanette is gonna be able to sell another best-selling book like this? Or do you feel like she kind of prospered off of the child prodigy thing for her write-in? So, in my opinion, I did do research on this. She does want to do fiction, by the way. Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Okay, so here's my answer. Okay. So when she was younger, we had talked about how she was really able to tap into her crying because of the traumas in her life. Yeah. For that same reason. I think she is gonna be epic at doing fiction because I think she's lived such a difficult and complex life. There's so many different layers with her finding out her dad's not really her real dad, and all the stuff that you know, almost in itself, uh it obviously is a story because it's sold as a bestseller, right? But I feel like with that kind of like pain, there comes a different, like almost area you can tap into that maybe people that haven't experienced that might not be able to. So I think if she decides to, um, I think she could especially get into stuff that has maybe not necessarily only darker tones to it, right? But like taps into those really complex characters that you could fall in love with. That makes sense. I think she could be good at it, and also she is very funny.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Yeah, like her, not just you know, her writing style is very like comical.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yes, and listening to her deliver it, like her delivery is funny, you know, she gets it. So I feel like that would translate in there as well. So I feel like you'd get a really complex storyline from her because she is so complex.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

I think it's cool to um to think about that. My only concern is just whether the world is so critical, and I feel like they may like fetishize over this book and not even give her an opportunity to release another book. I know, but like Loki, what if she came out with like a pseudonym?

SPEAKER_01 33:44

What if like she released her book, but like we had no idea who released it, and then we became so obsessed with her and she was like, that would be fire.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

It's me, bitch. Yeah, Jeanette. I love Jeanette. It's like a Jeanette. So, um, overall, like we said, me and Samantha thought very highly of this book. Um, we are going to look into what our next read is gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

So if you guys want to read along with us, you can either listen and hear what we're gonna be reading next and kind of read it before our next uh episode drops, or you guys can just stop it here and then wait till the next episode. We can pick up up, yep, yeah. Pack out where we left off. And so we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

You know, like we said, yeah, this this podcast is good for people that act that wanna act like they're reading. So if you're just here to listen, we're cool with that too. But, anyways, um we're gonna be back soon. Next book's gonna be And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. And Samantha's gonna read the description for this book so you guys can get a feel of what we're gonna be looking forward to.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Alright, so um, an exclusive authorized edition of the most famous and beloved stories from the Queen of Mystery. Ten people, each with something to hide, something to fear, are invited to an isolated mansion on Indian Island by a host who surprisingly fails to appear. On an island, they are cut off from everything but each other and the inescapable shadows of their own past lives. One by one, the guests share the darkest secrets of their wicked past, and one by one they die. Which survive among them is the killer? And will any of them survive? This one looks so good to me. I hope it is good.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

It was rated highly, so yeah, it was rated like a 4.14 on um Goodreads. Yeah, and Amazon's fucking with it too. So you know, Goodreads is a tough crowd.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

It's like Rotten Tomatoes, you know, they don't want to let shit slide.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

I swear. I will have my favorite book on there, and Good World would be like it's a 1.5.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

I'm like, and everyone's like, um, who is this? Uh a three-year-old wrote it, and I'm like, it's my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

Made me feel incompetent. Yes. But, anyways, we're looking forward to you guys either reading along with us or coming back and getting some details on the book to figure out. Because you know we got the spoilers. We do have the spoilers, and from there you can determine if you want to read it or not. But um, again, this is episode six of FC Square. And we will see you guys next time. Bye.