EVERYBODY Can't Go!

Growth changes everything — your mindset, your circle, your priorities, and the way people respond to you. In this episode of Cutt Straight 2 It, the crew gets real about what happens when you start leveling up in life and realize everybody isn’t meant to come with you.

From fake loyalty and emotional attachments to outgrowing old environments, we speak on the difficult choices that come with protecting your peace, your future, and your purpose. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes history isn’t enough. And sometimes the people closest to you are the ones holding you back.

Raw conversations, real experiences, funny moments, and hard truths — because everybody can’t go.

🎙 Cutt Straight 2 It 💈 — Where we don’t sugarcoat it… we speak on it.


 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:12

What happens when you the person that you outgrow it just happen to be your wife or your husband?

SPEAKER_01 0:19

I mean, that's possible too. Like, you know what I mean? And I think like sometimes it comes to a point in some people like to where they can't find a uh resolution. Like you might and their resolution is it's better for both of to protect both of our peace to separate.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

If you love them, that's what you gotta do. You gotta tell them, like, I just want to see you happy.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Yeah, see, I think some people take love and be like uh they they they they make it fit for them. Like, you know what I mean? But if you love a person and you truly want to see a person happy, you also gotta love a person enough to know that they may not be happy with you. Yeah, for sure. Yo, what's up, everybody, and welcome to today's episode of Cut Straight to It. But we're on Sugarcoated, we speak on it. And today's topic is everybody can't go. And that's a little personal for me. Because the moment that you start changing, growing, elevating, getting focused, you start realizing everybody around you not built for where you're trying to go. Some people only love the version of you, the stuck you, the broke you, the always available you, the crash out version of you. But the moment that you start moving different, they say that you change. Nah, I'm mature, and everybody can't go.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Even when I wasn't mature, they wasn't coming.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah, I think that it's it's we outgrowing people. Like in the more that you you you do things in your life and you try to remain productive and moving forward, it's a lot of people that not mad but get distant from you because they ain't knowing what you want. Right. When you moving forward, you only reminding them that they staying stagnated. And people don't like to see that.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

No. They don't want to see you growing.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Nah, not at all. Some do. I'm not gonna say everybody. Um some do. It's just some people are trying to attach themselves to you because they may think that you are about to take off, or anything can happen for you, or I'm not gonna leave this situation because I know that I could be safe with this person, or something like that. Like, it goes on in our communities a lot.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

When you left the other shop over there, you had some people that want to come over there?

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Well, basically, uh everybody came with me. Come over, uh, try stay. It was only uh me, Sean, Bree, uh, Rush, but still left. And that was about it. And then uh Kai came along. She was working around there at first, but she had kept coming around here when we first opened, so she ended up coming around here with us, and you know. We built a little family.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

I noticed since you've been growing, Marty, you kind of rub people the wrong way just because they not where you at, though.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Yeah. And people don't like to hear what you got to say.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Like, you know what I mean? Especially if they don't understand, or for some people, they can't fathom that you've reached some places or you've touched some things in your life that were, oh, this nigga lying. Nah, it ain't always a lie, bro. It's just we live and move totally different. God bless me to be able to do some things that I I never thought I'd be able to do.

SPEAKER_03 4:09

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

So when I come back and I tell people about the situation or the excursions or wherever I went or did, it's only to enlighten you. Because I didn't have anybody growing up that told us about places beyond where we was. I ain't know about no Martha's Vineyard until I was a grown man. Right.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

I ain't know about it until you told me about it.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Now it's tattooed on my arm, dog. That's one of my favorite places in the world. And I just I wasn't privy to a life that that exposed me to that. Not a younger life.

unknown 4:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

But growing up, like, you know what I mean, and meeting people and and having the ability to just sit down and read on purpose. Not because I got to or I'm trying to figure something out, but just for the pure enjoyment of learning something new. It's mind-blowing. And that woke me up a lot. So I wanted to see some things. And I like this, I I call myself a space invader. Like, you know what I mean? The same way that uh no shout out to Caucasian folks, but the same way that they come in and they invade our space. I try to invade theirs. Where they don't, where they're not used to seeing us, I'm there. Right. Dog, we was in Montauk, the H the Hamptons in Montauk, October. Me and my wife walked into this restaurant. Dog, I swear everybody in that joint was Caucasian. Every waiter, every bartender, every busboy, dishwasher, cook, patron, everybody. Did he look crazy at y'all when you got there? It stopped. It was like a movie joint. And I was like, yo, yo, it jumped me.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

I probably would have left. I wanted to. I'll be funny about my food. Like when you're there, where can you go?

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Hold up. Ain't nowhere else to go. I'm just like you. Listen, I'm just like you. I'm funny about my food. Yeah. You know what's crazy though? We first got up that joint, man. We pulled up. Because we was going to go stay at this uh this Tudor mansion up there. They got up there. It's supposed to have the most paranormal activity on the East Coast. I'm in there. Count me out. Nah, I'm into that stuff. So I wanted to see, right? So we go up there. Me and my wife go up that joint, right? And uh when we first get up there, this black dude, this black homeless boy walk in front of the car and he just stopped and looked at us and just shake his head like. Look at me. You you want to be the next? Like he shook his head like, what the fuck are y'all doing here? Like, you know what I mean? And I'm like, oh, we cool. That's a black boy. Like, man, we get to the hotel, I'm like, yo, ain't uh ain't nothing up there look nowhere near remotely. Like that that it was a uh it was a crazy experience. So we at a restaurant and I'm like, yo, I'm like, yo, I uh I'm cool. I ordered the uh the lobster roll, right? And my wife ordered some food. I sat there, looked at the food. She ate. I'm just looking at the food she ate. I'm like, man, you crazy. As soon as she got done, I threw 300 on the table. I walked out that joint like, Doug, I'm cool. That's your joint too, the lobster roll. Yeah, I wasn't eating that joint.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

You be getting the lobster roll. Cousins main lobster.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yeah, they make sure. They be everywhere. I know everywhere they at. Cousin Main, shout out to Cousin Main, but uh, I'm gonna let you know. I just had the lobster sandwich from B-Boy Bistro yesterday. That joint was bigger than the country chicken breast. That joint was massive. Finally made it back there. Shh I caught on.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah, you've been talking about that.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Yo, I caught on. I almost got the seafood salad. I did get the pudding, he had banana, Oreo, and cookies, pudding. I ain't gonna never get skinned. Nah. Yo. How you feel about outgrown people?

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Oh, I had no problem with outgrown people. I knew you wouldn't. No problem at all. I've done it several times in life. And guess what? I've never looked back. It's people that I left, I I don't, I see them and I walk right past them. People that you knew? Yeah. Like you said, knew.

unknown 8:54

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Walk right past them. It don't, it's no animosity or nothing that I hold, but it look, yo, if you go and leave, you can't half-ass leave.

unknown 9:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

You get what I'm saying? If you gonna leave, you can't half-ass leave. It don't it really don't be nothing but we in two different spaces, and you might be in a good space in your life, but your good space ain't my good space.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

Right. So it's hard when you grow up with somebody, y'all share the same struggles. Not for me. Yeah, but how do you do it? How do you separate yourself when y'all came up together?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yo, I I I think people be taking loyalty means dragging everybody with you. Like, and no matter what, but sometimes loyalty to yourself gotta come first. Like, you gotta be loyal to you. Cause how am I wrong for protecting my peace?

SPEAKER_02 9:51

You're not wrong. I still pray for him. I I still pray for him and I wish the best for him. But that don't have nothing to do with me removing myself.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, and sometimes people think you're fake because you don't want to entertain drama no more. I'm tired of that shit. I'm tired of the bullshit being in my life. Like, you know what I mean? So if I don't want to entertain the bullshit, then I'm gonna move away from it. That ain't the conversation that I want to have. Right. If you want to have a conversation about, yo, let's let's see how we can sharp, iron sharpen iron. Like, let's see how we can build together. Like, this is something that I see if you do this, like, you know what I mean, you probably could do a little bit better. And I'm willing to take information from anybody because the moment that you don't, you become stagnated and you're done. It's hard because the people that that's around you, you want for them what you have.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

But sometimes they don't be there yet. They don't want it for themselves. All right. I don't know. Maybe I'll be a little too hard on people's pause, but we men.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

I dig we men, but we also we come from traumatic situations.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Man.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

So you we gotta always remember, like, for me, I had to uh you gotta soul search to be like the situation that a person is in on the opposite side, you have to reverse it and put yourself in that situation. How would I wanna be treated at this moment? No matter how how whatever feelings you got, whatever personal feelings you got, like, you know what I mean, but have some empathy for the other person. Like, how would I want to be treated at this moment? If I was him and and he was me, how would I want them to react to this situation to me? But I'm not him. It don't matter, like, you know what I mean? It ain't we don't change unless we change.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Yeah, I had empathy to people, but like I don't, yo, we got the same 24 hours in the day.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

We all do.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I always look at it like, wow, I gotta put effort and then I gotta have empathy to somebody who's not putting effort.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

Because a certain set of values was uh instilled in you that wasn't instilled in everybody. So although we do have the same 24 hours, we we don't know what to do with the 24 hours.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Now, at a certain now, as a man, is that my fault? Because we all been out here and been through trauma and been through stuff, regardless of which.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

It's your fault, but it ain't your fault, but I believe that it's on all of us to help one another.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Like if you see somebody falling, like you know what I mean, we gotta be there to catch each other, bro.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Yeah, but I catch you and then you push my hands away, I'm supposed to catch you again.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

It ain't you may push my hands away, like you know what I mean. Sometimes, that's what I said. You outgrow people. Where you know I mean, if I'm if I'm constantly giving you help and I and you don't want the help that I'm giving you, and I see that you know what I mean, you moving in a certain situ in a certain direction, then yeah, I'm gonna separate myself from you because it's it's not good for me. Right. Like, you know what I mean? It's not good for my peace. But in the same token, you gotta be willing to extend the olive branch to your friend. Like, you know what I mean? You gotta be like, yo, I I I see where you at. Like, you know, I don't like where you at, but I see where you at. Like, you know what I mean? And if there's anything that I can do genuinely, like out of love, if there's anything that I can do, then allow me to help. But if you love me the way that I love you, bro, then don't. Don't put yourself in a situation where you make me lose.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

All right, let me say something. You see how you just said, um, you was like a couple minutes ago, you was like, uh to put yourself in the mindset of that person on the other end so they could think like if I was in that situation, I would want them to feel a certain way about me.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

That's the same thing. Like, because you want me to feel empathy for you, but you it only goes so far. I'm giving you empathy. You're not putting yourself in my shoes about the effort and the time and the love that I'm putting into you. I could be putting it into something like that.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

Listen, you can you that's that's the that's what the the episode is about. Everybody can't go. Sometimes you do outgrow people. Like, you know what I mean? You outgrow helping the person continuously. Like, yo, I'm here for you, I'm here for you, I'm here for you. But sometimes some people need help, and then eventually they change.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Man, I had people that they refused to give up on me when I was going through that pill addiction. But it was like people that was almost obligated, like my mom, my wife, people like that.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Nobody never knew about mine until it was over.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

I mean, I had a portion of my life, a time in my life to where, dog, I I I I partied and I had a ball. And to be able to come away with it with just memories and no scars, and you know what I mean, it's you got emotional scars because it's a lot of people that ain't make it where you at. Like, but you know, it's a lot of friends that I still see that, you know what I mean, I care about, but we ain't at the same place. Like, you know what I mean? We ain't we ain't we ain't it ain't that we ain't shooting at the same baskets, it's just our life interests have changed. The things that interest you no longer interest me.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

That's a natural thing. That's not something that you just naturally in a different place.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Naturally in a different place. It comes from maturing.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Like, you know what I mean? You you you grow. Like, you know what I mean? The more input you got, the more things that you see. You it's it's you like a kid. Like, you know what I mean? You still want to see more. You want to you want to touch more, you want to be more places, you want to experience new things. Like, you know what I mean? That's that's enlightening to me. And the people that I love, like the people that's around me, I try to come back and share what I learned. Like, not as a uh a flex on you, but bro, this is what we could do. This is where we could be.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

This is what I can do. Nah, this is what I obviously if like yo Marty, I'm telling you. Um yo, because I leave the door open, wide open, with no lock. You got every opportunity as me. You could come with me. Yo, you know how many times in life I gave people a blueprint that I never used, and I watched them use the blueprint and take off. You know they never even, I don't need nothing from nobody, but they never even call and say thank you, bro.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Yeah, some people that only come around when it's beneficial for them. And they take from you or they take from you, and they never pour anything back into you.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

All right, so now how long am I gonna be empathetic to people when I care, but it's not true.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

I ain't saying, listen, I I don't want nobody to get me wrong to where, you know, I mean, you come out of your space, you come out of your peace to help somebody else. But I also want everybody to understand that sometimes when we go through or we try and level up to another level, the creator is going to put obstacles in your way. Like, you know what I mean? Some people call it the devil or whatever, or like, you know what I mean. There it's it's gonna be certain things that it's a test for you. And it's all up to you, like, you know what I mean, how much you mature on how you will handle a situation. You can be emotional, like you know what I mean, and handle a situation with emotion. Or you can have some kind of discipline and sit back and think about your next move. Strategize, like, you know what I mean? How can I still get to where I'm gonna go without this being a hindrance?

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Man, Mark, I'm gonna give you my straight perspective from me. When people view you as somebody that got something already, they ain't willing to help. You wanna know how many times anything, it could be street stuff, anything bad, anything good, people in their mind, if they already see or think, like how you said you got you had the cars and all that, people see that and already think you got something. Nobody gonna help you. Yeah, but it's like that nobody helped me through nothing, through a pill addiction, when I was broke, nothing. Nobody ever, ever, ever gave me a handout ever.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

I ain't gonna say that. Because people I'm saying that for me. For me, people helped me. Like, I had people in my life that wanted to see me do better. Like, you know what I mean? I owe a lot to my to my bro. Like, you know what I mean? To to Ral. Like, you know what I mean? I had did a little, I had a uh sale charge. I went in, I had a little uh eight and a half to 23 or something like that. And when I came home, Ral said, my mom had just kept telling him, like, you know what I mean, help your brother, help your brother. And I was trying to hit, I came home, you know, I'm trying to hit the streets running. I'm trying, I'm trying to get it. Catch up. Yeah, and uh he like, yo, I got a barbershop, bro. I'm like, bro, that'd be cool. You got a shop, that's that's what's up, bro. You know what I mean? I like that's what's, you know what I mean? I'm serving out of here. He like, yo, I got a shop for you. And I'm like, bro, I ain't man, I'm trying to tell you, man, I ain't that I ain't for that right now. Like, I ain't with that shit. I said, man, I ain't even got no clippers. He said, I'm gonna buy you some clippers. Now I'm like, I'm I'm obligated. Yeah. He got me a shot, he got me some clippers, and he like, yo, this this you. Go ahead. Pistol was on 3rd Street. That was on 3rd Street, All Line Salon, and if it wasn't for him, man, I I I swear I don't know where I'll be right now. Like, and that's somebody giving me a chance. Yeah. And look how far that went. To where I had the opportunity to give people chances. That shit branched out. It it goes it's a ripple effect. So we can't be so emotional that we retreat and be like, man, fuck them niggas.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

I don't got no emotion. I think that's my problem. Yeah, baby, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Well, I hope I hope you get some 10 man.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

I don't have no emotion. But I helped.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

But we off to see the wizard, man.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Anybody tell you when when the comments come, they'll tell you, bro, Rail, you know, I'll give you the shirt off my back. If you don't got no sneaks, I'll take my sneaks off my feet and give them. Everybody know that, but well, you got some feelings. You just don't let them, you don't like them toy with. It ain't, yeah, but it I don't even not feeling. I just be wanting to see everybody win. That's feelings, nigga. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

We all got to do it. Just want to see everybody win. That's and you know what? The more that we we do that, like you know what I mean, as men, want to see other men win and go to extra effort to help another man win without animosity, without any of that shit, just genuine love.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

That's crazy. I'm out Newtown Square though. They having like the PGA tournament, the guards. Yeah, I was out there. I was about to say, I'm surprised you ain't go to that.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Yeah, I was out there. I seen it. I see an old head.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

He ain't even the old head though. Like he he older than us, clean. He got like an F like the Ferrari joint. Anytime I see niggas and shit like that, I feel like I got like, yeah. Every time he rolled past, I said, yeah, oh like I like to see shit like that. And you out New Town Square, let them them Caucasian faces see.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And that's not a life that that's why I say, like, we grew up in communities where we only see us all the time. So we be thinking that we the majority. Nah, I was branching out. Well, that's you. You had access. A lot of us didn't have access to where we grew. It was six miles, bro. We thought that when they said white people was everywhere, I was like, man, you crazy. I'm like, I only see black people all over the place. But that's was that was our area. But when you go out of this joint, you realize like Chester is surrounded by uh all kinds of communities. And these are separated homeowners. Separated houses, homeowned. 10 minutes away. You be like, yo, like life is different, bro. Like, you know what I mean? Upper Marion School District, man, that school is. I can't explain it, man. Like, if if I think that if kids from where we was from, from where we from had something like that, you would want to go to school. Yeah, because they got so much extracurricular activity. You want to know where some money is. That joint is just phenomenal.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

Isn't the states they got like majority, like 90% white people?

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Nigga, they still got sundown towns where when the sun goes down, your black ass can't go there. West Virginia, go ahead out there and play around if you want.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

They go and hang you there. And you know, we we we not watching what's going on politically and stuff like that because we ain't in tune with that.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

We too busy beefing among ourselves to see that they they creating new Jim Crow laws. That's right. Where people can't vote, to where they're trying to create communities to where it's only white people in these communities. So try now. Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

Oh, them HOAs, yeah. That's designed to keep us. They be bitches. Yeah. They got so many rules. That's it. How I buy a house and then you tell me what you gotta do, how you can paint your house and all that stuff. I want my house black.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Not here, Nick Row. Go on down there.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Nah, real real. A lot of people and a lot of women tell you like boundaries. Or like, even when we was young boys, if they they used to be like, if you let somebody play you like a sucker one time and you don't do nothing about it, hold the door open. Soon as you do something that one time, I'm gonna tell you about yourself. Or I'm gonna get away from you and I'm gonna stand on it. And we could be in the same room. You know, I won't say nothing to you. I'll shake everybody hand in the room and get to you, look you up and down, keep going. Like, because you gotta give some kind of like repercussion to a person's actions, or they never gonna understand that they was wrong. Even with like women, like I tell them, like, if you out and a man come at you and you not firm on your no, for us as men, all we gonna say, oh, next time I see her, I'm gonna get her. She said no and she was smiling. She wasn't serious. Yeah, you see, so you gotta, you don't gotta be ignorant, because bulls are smoky. My baby mom, man, she got knocked out before. For real? Yeah, a year. I'm talking about like. She said no. Yeah, like 15 years ago. My daughter mom, she called me and told me that shit before.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

I remember we used to be up South Street, man, and we would be 15, 16, deep. Joker came through with this girl. This joker's grabbing this girl, but I holler at her. And you like, damn. Like, you know, I was a part of that. So when you see it now and you be judgmental, I'd be like, damn, that's some hypocritical shit. I never did none of that though. We did, we was bad kids, man.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

I never did, like, yo, I still never, like, I just be on some smooth shit. Like, if I do say something to you, turn me down. That shit don't mean nothing to me. I'm either gonna walk off or I'm gonna do some shit. Like, if it's another girl with you.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

At least I had that. You know what I mean? I may didn't have a lot growing up, but I was funny. So I would use comedy. That means a lot to women. Yeah, I would burn on chicks, all types of stuff. Like, and like you use whatever you had to get what get what you want. And for me, I was lucky. Some of my best friends is females. Like, I'm talking about some of my roadies is females.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

I got my best friend or female.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Like, you know, I mean, shout out to the original one and Kenya Majid. They were my best friends.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

A female Tosh. And I got a lot of friends like DB, like they real friends. Like, I'm talking about. My whole way, man. They mess, they messed it up for the weak ass niggas where they be like, they boyfriends be like, you can't have a boy best friend or a girl. They try fuck them and shit. Sleep in the bed with them in whatever.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Like, that ain't that ain't it. It's consistent. These is genuinely like my people's. Like, like, nigga, they would she was at my wedding. And I ain't even know, like, you know what I mean? She popped right up. I'm I'm going to the liquor store. I see her, ain't you know, and me, I'm like, oh shit, they here. Yeah, I feel good. Like, you know what I mean? For somebody that loves you enough to reach out and I mean to go that far. Like, you know what I mean? Because Martha's Vineyards ain't no cheap trip. Right. So that was that was that was.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Niggas be weak though. Them niggas that, yeah, this my sis, and then try and learn. You a weak ass nigga.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Well, you know, people use what they got to get where they're trying to get it.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Fuck it up for niggas like me who really got real girlfriends that's like my sis. You need to be around women. Yeah, you gotta have a girlfriend. Because they gonna keep you kind of like grounded with women's stuff. And my friends, they gonna tell you about I done came to them in life with some shit where like I'm thinking, because you my friend, like you you with my fuck shit. Yeah, man, it's girl. So and I did it. Well, what you do? Uh tell them they be like, nigga, you was dead the fuck wrong.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Listen, and if I didn't have if I didn't have the female friends that I had in my lifetime, I wouldn't have the wife that I have today. Why? Because they they mold you. Like, when you around, when you got female chicks, especially like they boss chicks. So when you're around chicks like that, like my cousin Sonia, all of them, like you see how they move and how dudes move around them. You see what they're what becomes humorous to them.

SPEAKER_03 29:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

So by being close to them, so you be like, damn, oh, this nigga doing this shit. I know when I get with a chick, I ain't doing that dud ass shit. Yeah, but niggas be suckers. You can see how they react once the guy. Like, you know what I mean? Like Joker comes through. Like every chick loves flowers and all that stuff, but some niggas be suckers with it. Like, you know what I mean? They be like, yo, I'm gonna call this nigga because I know he's gonna drop a fucking uh down here to bring me a motherfucking crab. Yeah, nah, for real.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Yeah, that that should be crazy. Like, I don't think nobody view me like that. Oh, everybody say, but everybody let me know, but everybody say I'm I'll be stubborn. Like, I'm not doing no shit like that, bro. Like, and I when I was like, I got a girl, so I don't even, but when I was, I'll be quick to tell you, like, yo, leave me where I'm at and call you got a nigga that's gonna bring you that one crab from Merlin. Don't be scared to call him. And tell they bring you two bring you two for me. One for me. Like, but don't be scared to call him. Don't feel like you want you not gonna mess nothing up for me. Call the crab nigga to come bring you that crab. I'm not bringing to the crab nigga.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Shout out to the crab nigga.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

I got a certain job. You know what my job is. I'm gonna stand tall on my job. Call him.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Yo, but then you get married. And life changes, bro. Now you that whole sucker by obligation. You it ain't obligation.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

You get married, you supposed to be whatever you gotta be for. And you become married.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I mean, all those jokes that say, I won't do this and I won't do that. Don't get over there. Some of that stuff you do, not even out of obligation, but out of wanting to make sure that the person that you with is is okay. Like, you know what I mean? Like, uh, I had, I'm trying to tell you, if something was to happen to my wife, I probably would go crazy. Because my wife made my life to where I'm not dependent on her, but I can it's my that's my person. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 31:39

I can, I can't let your guard down.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Nah, not even I I totally let my guard down, but I can say stuff and my wife understands what I'm saying. Like, you know what I mean? I could be like, yo, bae, find out this. Like, and she gonna be like, damn, I can have an idea and she uh I have an idea that's a diamond, a raw diamond, and she'll shit.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

No, that's that's your person. Y'all add value value to each other. We definitely an old haired lady said you know when is your person when you give an idea and the person go behind your back and really dig deep into the idea and then come back to you and be like, yeah, you said you said you wanted to build a train, right? Well, you know you need this kind of metal and this, this, this, and this kind of fun, and they said that's how you know that's your person.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

And my person has six degrees. Six of them things. And I always tell her, I'll put this $40 education up against that 285. And we have some of the best conversations and about the craziest shit. Like, and you you you never knew that you God would bless you with somebody that here, this for you. Like, you know what I mean? And and you happy with that person.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

So she stimulates your mind, correct?

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Yeah, she definitely stimulates my mind. Yeah, she definitely stimulates your mind.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

So what happens when you the person that you outgrow it just happened to be your wife or your husband?

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Leave. I mean, that's possible too. Yeah, like you know what I mean, and I think like sometimes it comes to a point in some people like to where they can't find a uh resolution. Like, you know, and their resolution is it's better for both of to protect both of our peace to separate.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

If you love them, that's what you gotta do. You gotta tell them, like, I just wanna see you happy.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Yeah, see, I think some people take love and be like, uh they they they they make it fit for them. Like, you know what I mean? But if you love a person and you truly want to see a person happy, you also gotta love a person enough to know that they may not be happy with you.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Yeah, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

A woman told me this a long time ago. She was like, yo, that's crazy that you know what I mean, you keep doing what you're doing because you got the power to make a man has the power to make any relationship work. And I was like, man, you crazy. Who are you talking about? Like, and she was like, Yeah, but when you in a relationship with a woman, you know what it takes for a woman to be happy. You choose not to do those things because you choose your own happiness over our happy or over trying to make her happy. I think that, you know what I mean, it has to be a common ground to where we choose each other's happiness over our own. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? And for me to find somebody that was willing to choose my happiness over their own was was it for me. Like, you know what I mean? Because I've been in relationships with good women. Like, you know what I mean? I got children, mother, and like, and you know what I mean? They some of them, they they good, some good. Like, you know what I mean, and the traumas I inflicted on our relationship, they couldn't get over. And I apologize, but you know what I mean? We're not taught that. We don't come from a place to where we see successful relationships.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Like, you know what I mean? It ain't, it ain't, it ain't a lot of black love going around. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, it'd be black relationships, but it don't be like, you know what I mean. We ain't seeing no fairy tale stories to where the grandmom and the grandfather in the crib going old and all that shit. Nah. It'd be a grandmom that got a crib and a grandfather come around drunk and shit, you know what I mean? He allowed to the cook out and shit. Like you said, grandma married. Somebody else, you got grandpapa Harry and Grandpop Arnold over this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Like I ain't even get to see them niggas though.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Yeah. Like it's it's it's crazy, but we got the power to change it. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 36:17

But Marty don't do that, man. You gonna have all of them girls in this comment talking about, yeah, that's right, Marty. Then they y'all got the power to change it. Fuck what they got going on. Fuck what they do.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

I'm not saying that though, but if we if if somebody, if if we keep placing blame on each other, and somebody don't be like, okay, then we just back and forth forever. Who the fuck wanna live in that in that cycle?

SPEAKER_02 36:46

I ain't going back and forth forever.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Nah, but it don't gotta be with the same person. How it'll be the same relationship. You can get out of one relationship with one person, get into another relationship with another person, and it'd be the same fucking bullshit. You be like, damn, do I keep attracting these fucking crazy? Yeah, you do, because it's not letting off. Nah, niggas, because you're not willing to deal with the issues that's that's underlying, like the underlying issues. Like, this is my issue. And until I accept it as a man and be like, okay, if if it's my fault, and or we both got blamed, then how do we resolve it and how do we build? And if we can't build and resolve it, then we gotta be able to walk away from one another. But for you to be unhappy sitting here checking my phone, like you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 37:31

And I never really gave girls that only one person did that, and that was I never gave, like, thank God I ain't I ain't a fucked up nigga.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

I mean you let them check your phone. I wouldn't care about that.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

I don't really be doing like if I'm in a relationship, I ain't really doing nothing. One motherfucker did that, and I'm not wasting my podcast on that.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

It's just it's just some some stuff we we we give a person a reason to want to check the phone.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

Oh, everybody I mess with wanted to check my phone because I'm a Sagittarius.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

I'm a Sagittarius, though. Habits change, like you know what I mean. And freedom. When you out there moving fast and you're in the streets and everything, man, like life is coming at you so fast with no kind of direction, like you don't even have a direction of where you're trying to go. Like, you your whole thing would be I'm gonna score tonight. That's it. Like, that's that's your whole mission in life is I'm gonna go get some money, I'm gonna go get an outfit, I'm going out tonight, and I'm gonna score. That never was my mission.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

It's been a life. The first one was my mission, the second one was my mission, but most of the time, like that shit'll fall in my lap. But I never like I never I never was a clubber, I never was a partier, I still never rolled down the street and seen a girl and pulled over on her.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

Yeah, you different, bro.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Yeah, that's why I'm saying, like, people don't, man, I I'm crazy, bro. I'm telling you, and people could get in the comments and say, I never seen a girl. I might see something. Oh, yeah, she but I just had this fucked up way of thinking of I'm too, I'm not pulling over on her. I'll see you another time, or I'm not even gonna waste my time because before I pull over on you, I'm I'm gonna be somewhere tonight where it's guaranteed, baby. But yeah, I am I'm I'm I got some psychological stuff going on, but we'll discuss that off camera.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

You know, people are out here committing homicides over the most ignorant and egregious situations that can possibly take place. To them, it's not ignorance because that's all they know. And then it's it's our job. If that's all you know, then it's our job as men to show each other something else. Gotta be accepted. You gotta be taught to be accepted. That's where the disconnect is.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

You don't have to be taught to be accepted.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

I mean, you have to be taught to accept things.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

Even if I don't know nothing and I'm not intelligent, and you telling me something to help me, it listen.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

That's where the disconnect is.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

You see how old you you you ever hear uh old skin old joint when he be like he grew up a certain kind of way. Like, you know what I mean? I know people who grew up like that. I grew up uh a certain kind of way. Nah, I'm saying I know people who grew up like that who the stuff that we thought was a was a was a little bit was a lot to them. Like, you know what I mean? And I I I identify with people's situations. Like, bro, I could remember times in my life, man. I had a single mom, and man, my mom would, my mom would get an apartment, she would be working her ass off, and we wouldn't have all the bare necessities. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? We didn't even have at a point in time, one time I could remember, man, we didn't even have a fucking refrigerator. But she gave me somewhere to live. Like, you know what I mean? She was like, look, just put the milk on the windowsill and we good. You can just eat your cereal in the morning. Shit, you get up, man, the cat that stole your fucking milk.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

I didn't know how to love.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

That's hard.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Cause my, yo, my mom and them, it was just tough love. I live with my grandmom and my aunt. It's nothing bad. Like, they taught me how to be a like when people say women can't raise a men, a man, them women knew how to raise a man. But it was tough love. And then I got to a bridge where I had to cross where I had to explain, like, people just think with age, you a certain age, you should I never I didn't know how I love.

SPEAKER_03 41:59

That's because your mom was the way she was?

SPEAKER_02 42:01

It was like they they nobody really asked like how your day was and like I love you. It wasn't that. It was more like you know I love you because I'm here, I'm interacting with you. What's understood, don't have to be discussed.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Yeah, I can't say that I heard I love you as a child a lot. But it trickled down into relationships. I knew I was love. Like, you know what I mean? My mom. I'ma show you. Yeah, she she bust her ass for me. Yeah, it was more I'ma show you whatever it is that she could afford to give me. Like, and as a child, you're not appreciative of it, but as an adult, you look back and see the struggles that you had to go through to make sure that your kids had to eat, you'd be like, damn, you know what I mean? Thank you. Like, you know what I mean? On some real shit, like thank you. So, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

And then, like, my grandmom always trained me, like, yo, whatever you got going on, when you get to the door, leave it at the door. When you come back, pick it up.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

Don't bring it in the house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

It was just like leave it here. Like, don't, like, like I everything was just tough love, like hard. Like, I came from rocks. Like, for women, they was rocks. Like, I've never seen women that can endure what they took. Like, they was just rocks. And it just trickled down. It made me, my cousin, like, we just rocks. Where was where was the men at?

SPEAKER_01 43:39

None was there. Man, men be like growing up, men, men was around, but wasn't around. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

Like, and then my grandpa, he was a uh, he was a truck driver, so he was on the road. Like, he there now. I love that nigga to death, but it'd be times like it disappeared for nine years.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

I ain't even, I'm telling you, I ain't even see that shit.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

I had it.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

My mom comes from a big family, five boys, five girls. And basically, my uncles was my dad. And when I used to go out Philly with my family, like my uncle and my father up there, like, you know what I mean? We was we was good, but I didn't I didn't see that that that unconditional like you know what I mean? That that that love to where you know I mean you you you you you calling your kids and yo, you good nigga? Like, you know what I mean? Like no matter what, they steal your babies. Right. Like I didn't experience that as a job. They you bringing them to the barbershop and all that. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know what I mean? I can't remember one time I went to the barbershop, my bop. When I was a young boy though, I got my hair though.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

I used to go to the barbershop on uh 18th and Susquehanna. He used to always, but like for the most part, the times my pop would pick me up, it'd be crazy he'd drop me off with my older brother, and I'd be with my older brother, his sister, his mom, and his stepdad. And they just they treated me like I was theirs.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Listen, I can say this though. He did give me some core memories. Like, you know what I mean? I could remember so vividly. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

Yeah, he did get me covered.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

I could remember so vividly us bike riding, bro. And we would go riding everywhere because he lived in North Philly, so you know what I mean. North Philly, the Kelly driver's right there. We was walking. So we would go take the bikes and stuff down there, go riding and stuff like that. Like he would ride me all over the city. Nigga, I can't remember one time that I seen him drive a car.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

Oh no, my pop had a car, but my pop would, we might walk to Germantown F. We'll walk downtown. Like we'd walk from north downtown. Like, shit like that. Yeah, from 16th and Lee High, we'll walk down town. Yeah, but my pop always was dramatic, man. No, my pop, my pop memories was like the fly shit. Like, nigga, like in the early night, like when Honda Accords and shit was the the he'd have nigga was the first nigga I ever seen with a red Wool Ridge. Yo, my pop, he'd scuff his sneak, right? Like I'm talking about one scuff. We'd go to Germantown to the ad, he'd get a pair of sneaks. It used to fuck my head up. That sneak that he scuffed, he'd take that shit off, put it in the box, put the new sneaks on, and let them take the box with the sneaks in it. I used to be like, yo, what the fuck? He keep giving in this. Nigga had a red warrior. So later on when I'm seeing, I'm like, yo, my papa had a cougar, uh, a regal. I'm talking about other year back then, like when, so like my pop always, like, back then, he he showed me like uh a lot of stuff, but he wasn't present a lot. But it it stuck in my mind of how to be, certain shit on how to be. Like, he always used to, like, we might go downtown and get on the sub or something, or be downtown. You know, it's always homeless people down there. He'd give me money to give to him, and I'll go to get, like, walk off and give him the money. He'll grab me. He'd be like, yo, hot. When you give him that money, don't touch his hand. Shit like that. And it just always stuck. Like he always was like a clean motherfucker. Like his shit was just polo shit. From the time I remember being on this earth to that nigga died last year, that nigga gonna have a polo shirt on and a polo hat. That's it. I never seen him in nothing else except maybe one time a baseball jersey.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

I ain't grew up with people, I ain't grew up with uh with fashion. Like, you know what I mean? People in my family didn't come from that. They came from like meager, humble beginnings. Like, you know what I mean? We come from stone cold gamblers. Shit. My grandmother was a gambler. My grandmother used to shoot dice. And he was probably running numbers and stuff. Yeah, that was a big thing. Probably so at a point in time in their life, like, you know what I mean? So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:25

My pop used to have me on the block with him, like 18, she all that. But I ain't know, like as a kid, I'm just thinking I'm with my dad. But man, and but I'm talking I've been in bars since I was six, seven, like all that shit. Like so, yeah, it was it was just like six, seven. Yeah, oh, I ain't I ain't, but yeah, like it was just natural, but I feel like it it kind of grew me like to be a man. So it was like I I and I was always like a strategic watcher, like I seen everything. I might not say nothing to him.

SPEAKER_01 49:07

That's that's that's that's me.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

I remember I told my mom something about this bull, right? I told her, I did this two times in life with my mom, and my mom so much of a G, it fucked me over both times. When I was a young bull, I told my mom, I said, yo, I went in my dad's closet and I opened a bag and I seen some shit. I said, but don't tell him. I'll never forget. He dropping me off at the McDonald's on Broad Holligheny to meet my mom, and he did this behind my seat. Soon as he did that, I said, This motherfucker told him. I was like, eight. He said, he put his arm around, he said, yo, you think your dad sells drugs? I'm like, huh? He said, you think your dad sells drugs? I'm like, nah. He like, oh alright, and left it at that. All I'm thinking is like, man, I can't believe she told now. Who was in the bag? Bricks of cocaine, man. So look, let me tell you how life is. I get older. Whatever I'm doing, I'm doing. I lose my house key. I'm going crazy. My dumb ass does the same thing again. I still do this even with my girl. I lose something and I'll panic, and she'd be like, if it was a snake, it would have bit you. My grandmom used to say that shit to me.

SPEAKER_01 50:34

Yeah, I just went through that today.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

Yo, look, I'm looking for the key everywhere, but I gotta get out of there now. So my mom sees me in a frenzy. She like, yo, what you looking for? My dumb ass. Same thing again with the same person. I said, Man, I can't find my key. She like, don't worry about it. I look for it. My dumb ass say, I look everywhere. Whatever you do, whatever you do, don't look under my bed in the back. Of course she's gonna look under my bed in the back. I was like, you telling her to look under my back.

SPEAKER_03 51:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

I leave, I come back. Nigga, if you don't go get that shit out of my fucking house, I'm like, huh? If you this when I knew she was a G, though. She was like, if you don't go get that shit out of my house and go put it in the shed, at least if they come in here, they can't. I was so hyped that she ain't fucked me up.

SPEAKER_01 51:32

Listen, I remember I used to, when I used to live on uh Summer Street, right there next to your grandma and them, I used to have pounds of fucking weed then. Bro, my mom would be like, yo, I know you, I know you in here selling weed. I'd be like, no, no, I ain't. She be like, I know you got weed. I'd be like, no, no, I don't. He had it in the book bag. Bro, I had the shit everywhere. It was still. Hold up though. I got pounds. The shit stink. I mean, it stink. And then I'm hiding it underneath my TV. Underneath my TV in the uh, in the like the closet, the little dressing joint that they sit on.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:13

She like, yeah, I used to be going in that joint, filling up my little pill bottle, taking it to work and shit, giving it to my girlfriends and stuff. So my I wanted to be like, yo, with that weed that you got.

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Thank you, son. Yeah, that shit just be crazy. Like, you you really living, you learn from like your adolescent mistakes. Cause you think like it ain't no men in the house. You think you a man when you like 14. Yeah. But your mind is still a kid's mind. You haven't had the experience. Yeah, so you you think you got it. You 10 steps ahead of them. They they done mess with real men. That doesn't fun really finesse them. And our mind, they don't know though.

SPEAKER_01 52:57

You think you smarter than them. Yeah. Yeah, because it does for you. This situation hasn't taken place yet. This is you experiencing this situation in real time. Yeah. They have already experienced what you're the bullshit that you said. That's why when you be lying to them, they be like, Right. They let you.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

They let you, because they want to see. They want to see. Let me see how good he really is. Oh my God. But they be on all that shit.

SPEAKER_01 53:28

When you see it, when you see it, it's the funniest shit. Like, yo, for me, will my wife be on it? Oh my God. She is the funniest. My wife don't play with the children's education. At all. Bro, she calling Caleb the other day. She waking him up out of the sleep. Yo, wait, yo, yo. She be on the grades, and you have to understand that she's an analytical person. So everything that they supposed to know, how stuff works, she knows how that works. Right. She's going in, she's gonna find a grade. She's gonna be like, yo, you ain't. She does every assignment that's supposed to be in. She be like, yo, you ain't put this in, you ain't do that. Why this grade ain't this? Why she ain't do that. I'm like, yo. And they be like, yo, I, I, I, I, I, you wrong person. But you wanna know what's so crazy. Later on in life, he's gonna be sharp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know what I mean? I can say that, like, you know what I mean, Caleb. He's gonna be sharp. They all they're honorable students, like, you know what I mean? And to watch somebody, just for a person to care, like, you know what I mean? Like I said, like the suburbs compared to urban communities, it's totally different. Like, our support for for things be different. That's why I'm like, yo, do that's what I mean about outgrowing stuff. Like, you know what I mean? All right, for Chester, Chester, Chester High Prime is big. And shout out to all them kids this year. Y'all look beautiful. Y'all did the right. They did an excellent job. Like, y'all looked amazing. And I was I was happy to see, like, you know what I mean? Fred, Fred posted a video, and that joint was, man, it was it was crazy. Like, them kids really look good. But for them kids out in the suburbs, that ain't they think like they moving on to other things. They don't care about none of that. None of that stuff. They rent them a little tux. Yeah, moving. And they take their chords. The girls go to the Macy's buyer dress.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

And they get loved. Why do we gotta buy love? Nah, it's just the sub. No, I'm saying, like, uh, I wasn't saying that like far as uh the suburban problems and stuff compared to ours, because I don't want to get off track with that. I mean, the support that we for what we give in the urban community as compared to the support that the kids in suburban communities get. Like, you know what I mean? Like uh suburbs are concentrating on SATs and stuff like that. For that matter. Uh urban communities. We luckily we have places like STEM school and all that stuff now that uh are concentrating on getting kids to further their education. Or and I I'm I'm not against furthering education, but I'm not I don't think that every person has to go to college. I don't think that's every person's path. No. I don't think that. Yeah, I'm cool on that.

SPEAKER_02 56:36

Yeah. I'm cool on the debt.

SPEAKER_03 56:40

I'm still paying off college.

SPEAKER_02 56:42

Yeah, I'm cool on the debt. Like, it's crazy because you will get you will get a job where you make over a hundred, but then you got a hundred and stuff and like that shit be.

SPEAKER_01 56:52

Yo, but I'd be like, yo, when people say a hundred, like at points in my life, I would have a hundred, I'd be like, shh, that's a lot of bread. But shit, I'm blew through a bean.

SPEAKER_02 57:04

Yeah, it's easy. But you can survive good in life if you got a hundred with your mind, right? Your first job. If you got other sorts, then you got other sources of income, you should be cool.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

Yeah, listen. Or you don't have to touch it. Yeah. You gotta be in the right headspace for money. Or you just blow it. Because you could blow a thousand dollars a hundred times immediately. Easy. Like it, it don't, it don't, you go to the mall a hundred times, they get a hundred days in a row, you done. God forbid you spend two or more than that day. Pay three, four bills. Like, you know what I mean? You like, shh, damn, it's gone.

SPEAKER_02 57:48

That's why I said, man, I'm just getting to the point where I gotta get it together. I think uh Lil Wayne fucked my head up. A young nigga, I still think saving is whack. I used to always say that when I was a young boy too. Saving is what? Lil Wayne said I was a when he was putting out all them mixtapes, that was on one of the he said, a young nigga, I still think saving is whack. I was getting money, nigga. I live by that.

SPEAKER_01 58:18

See? But that's that's that's information that, you know what I mean, people don't understand the power that they have. Like for him, it just probably wrong, because most of the Wayne stuff don't make sense to me anyway. Like, you know what I mean? He just be spitting. Man age tastes like, yeah, please.

SPEAKER_02 58:35

No, but that Eric, he was talking that shit. Like, yeah, I mean, but and you gotta understand in our community a lot of times.

SPEAKER_01 58:41

I'm just saying, listening to nobody that looked like a little demon. Rap raises, though. It definitely molded us because it depends on who you listen to. For me, J Jay, it was Biggie. Biggie, J, like you know what I mean? All of them, J the kids, uh, top authority. We love top authority.

SPEAKER_02 59:02

Yeah, they still Jeezy how you selling drugs for the rest of your life. Why do you think my man like that?

SPEAKER_01 59:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:10

That's all he knows he that's all he he listened to right now.

SPEAKER_01 59:15

Some people really like some people really be Mitch from Pai to Fool. It's really some real life Mitch. It ain't it ain't they love the game. Like, you know what I mean? They they love the game, man. Like, you know what I mean. I just want to I wanna be in it. Like, you know what I mean? They love the it's it's damn near being famous. It's an addiction though. Just like he said, when I leave, I think drugs were. Is they gonna love me? Yeah, drugs for us in the community growing up was the first social media. Because if you was on that, if you if you was known, then you was known people knew you. Like, I never had it. I never sold drugs. It don't seem like it's the game is the same, though. I'm not outside looking at it's it's way. You might as well get a job. Yeah, I can't even see. I listen, I honestly don't even know what the hell they sell. You might as well get a job. Like, I'll be seeing junkies and stuff, and I'll be like, well, what is they have? Right. Like it's still crack around. Yeah, that's what I'd be like, is it crack? For sure. Well, I they be like Fetty. Yeah. Like Fetty. I said, What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:22

It's still crack. Trust me.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

I'm cool. I'm I'm I I don't want to be new, no parts of it. I don't want to see it, and none of that. I'm I don't want no come up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

Before, like the return was so intense that could that you could just fuck up, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up, and still and still get money. The return of what? The money on the drugs. Like it was a certain era where you could just fuck up, fuck up, fuck up.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:55

For me, drugs wasn't wasn't a big moneymaker. And it still was Like for other people, drugs, they they came off with it. But for me, drugs wasn't wasn't it. I didn't I didn't get money like that selling drugs. I got money doing other shit. Like I seen real money doing other stuff. Like, you know what I mean? It wasn't the drugs for me. Like, you know what I mean? But it came too slow. It wasn't that it came too slow, it came with too much. Yeah, too much risk. You know what I mean? You gotta worry about the police, you gotta worry about niggas sticking you up, you gotta set up a connection. You like you got to do that? Yeah, that's when you sell drugs in urban communities. Like, you know what I mean? It's so much stuff. Like, you know what I mean? If you out, if you outside in the suburban communities and stuff like that, then you got you you run the risk of them telling on you. Like, you know what I mean? It's always something. Like, it was too much. And yeah, like, you know what I mean? I I I could math is is is a subject for me that I like. Like, I'm drawn to math, I'm drawn to numbers. So it's mathematical to me to if I'm gonna be out here committing crimes, then you telling me I could steal a million dollars and you only gonna give me 12 months, or I could sell a $20,000 or $27,000 book of cocaine. You're gonna give me the rest of my life. Nah, you keep that. I'm gonna do what Barney over here did. I don't know nothing about either or the two things he's talking about. I work. And that's a good thing, because I work now too, diligently, every day, all day long. Breaking my back, knee hurt right now. Like, and that's just age. Nah, it's it's it's it's maturing to know that certain shit ain't worth it. Bro, that bread, I don't give a fuck. Nobody say fast money go fast. That's that's why it's labeled fast money. When you get it fast, you blow it fast because you always assume that it's gonna come back around, but that's not the case. Like sometimes that that circulation that for it to come back around the way that you had it be, it'd be quite some time. Well, you be you be waiting for that joint to get back around to you. Like, and that's why you you start to get upset, you start to uh inflect your emotions on other people because you may see somebody else eating and want that for yourself. Damn. Like you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:14

Or you could just get some hours, a little bit of overtime, and wait for a direct deposit.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:18

Everybody don't got a job, huh? Everybody don't got access to a job. Some people can't jump.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:23

Everybody got access to a job. They do not. Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:26

They do not. Yes, they do. They do not.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:28

Yes, they do. How?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:30

Why? Explain to me. Some people homeless. If you don't have an address, you can't get a job. That's not true. It is. That's not true. It really is. It's not. How you gonna get a job? Easy. Sign the application. You if you don't got no address. All you gotta do is get me in the building. You don't got no address, you don't got no phone, you don't have to address it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:49

Everybody got address because you got family. Yo, you it's so it's all finesse. If if I was homeless, I know my grandmother's address. I'm putting that on the application.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:00

They don't give a fuck which address. You might not even be in the town where you was from. Hey. You assuming that all homeless people from the area. Man. It could be some people from the West Coast or another country or some shit like that. I'm getting a job.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:15

Getting a job. Or I'm just going, Eric, I'm going to run into a nigga like Marty. He's going to get me a shower today, and then I'm going to run into a girl and I'm going to finesse her. Hey, baby, let me use your address. And I'm going to use her address for the time being. I'm going to get me a job. Once I get a job, you want to know what I'm going to do? You remember David Blaine and all of them when they used to drop the ball and disappear? I'm going to tell her thank you before I drop the ball, poof, and I'm going.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:43

I mean, you know, that's that's that's that's a plan. Listen, that's a plan because people use people, like you know what I mean. It ain't a good thing, but people use people.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:56

No, I ain't using, I'll be back for you, baby.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:58

Oh, he's a player in a pimp. He is the player in the pimp over there, man. Hot, man. My cohes, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:08

Yo. You sometimes people gotta help you, man. And when and all, and if she ever come back and say something, I'm gonna say, just pray to God because you did a good deed. Look where I'm at now.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:22

Yeah. We did a lot of things as kids, man. And to look back now, man, and be like, I'm really thankful that I made it through. I'm really thankful that I get to see the things that I'm appreciative when I get to see new things. Like, you know what I mean? I'll be wanting that for other people. I'll be wanting that for these kids and stuff like that. You be wanting that for your friends and stuff, but You said the kids. You want it for the kids?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:53

They ain't still in cars, they still in souls.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

Yeah. What is for a lot of difference?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:00

They're not stealing cars no more. They take it together. I can remember back.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

Like that's why I say I'm old enough to remember when Jokers just didn't shoot. People fought. Like, you know, I can remember people fighting. Like, you know what I mean? Ain't none of that happening now. Like, them jokers got extendo clips and ghost guns and buttons. I don't even want a gun. Like, I don't even want a gun. Like, you know what I mean? I'm cool on that because when you got them, they, they, they, your, your, your mind move different. Like, you know what I mean? Where you be one, maybe one, you could say it's for protection, but everybody with a little bit of power acts different. Like, and uh a firearm will give you power. It never gave me power. It's gonna give you power because you you it's it's it's it's it's you have to have power because you possess uh uh an instrument in your hand. You have you pro you possess an instrument that can take a person's life.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:02

I always got a firearm. It never gave me power. It just gave me the sense of if you play with me, I'm gonna smoke you.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:10

I don't even want to smoke you. I don't even want to kill you, bro. I'm cool. Like, live your life. I'm cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:16

I'm definitely not late. Live your life with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:18

Live your life. I just want like, you know what I mean? If something would come to where it warrants that, like, I hope not, but basically, if it's something that it ain't, it ain't it ain't worth it, then I'm cool. Like, you know what I mean? You gotta stop putting yourself around situations to where that may happen for you. That shit can happen anyway. It can, but sometimes certain situations are gonna make it, it makes it easier to be involved in the bullshit. Yeah, I do gotta stop putting myself around situations like that, but like I miss, I miss the whole era of chicks going out with no clothes on. Like, because girls dressed up when we went out, we was good, we we was jumping. Now they come outside butt naked with some drawers on and a and a uh a screen, some sheer stockings. Definitely. Like, and I'd be like, yo, what that happened at? Like, you know what I mean? That's your mom.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:15

It's been like that for like the last dub though.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:18

It's normalized, man. Ain't been no dub, huh? Ain't been no dub. Ain't been no dub.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:22

See, you older, you wasn't running around with me and real. Them bitches was half, them women was half naked. You hear me? Titties out, everything, ass. This shit been going on since 05, 06.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:37

I ain't saying that, bro, because I done seen some women.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:40

Yeah, you on a different age. I'm telling you, us when we on the parties, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:45

All that shit. I was around fly chicks. Like, you know what I mean? They dressed up, like they had dudes that had bread that was taken care of them. Like they was fly chicks. We from the naked era. Yeah, I ain't from that. I'm from the niggas got dressed all the time, Eric. Yeah, niggas got dressed, but the girls, they girls definitely got dressed because that's how they was eating. Most chick get a good dude that was out there getting money, like you know what I mean. And back then, money was running, so Joe could take care of his chick. So now the chick take care of the dude. Yeah, that's insane.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:26

That's why they be talking to bulls crazy. You can't even say nothing. Yes, master. Yep. It ain't nothing you can say.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:32

Nah, you just gotta be able to separate yourself from people and love them from a distance. Like, you know what I mean? You gotta love people from a distance. Like, you know what I mean? The ones that don't don't don't match your lifestyle. I'm not saying that the way that you live it is wrong, because that's not my decision to make. You living what you you live your life however it you choose to for you to be happy. Oh, like men that live. Period, whoever it is. Like, you know what I mean? You live your life to for your own appeasement, your own pleasure. Like, you know what I mean? And it's not for me to say how you should be living your life. Like, in a process of all that, like, I'm just like, yo, we can help each other, but you live your life the way that you want. Just uh I'm asking that in whatever form you choose to live your life that, you don't cross over, don't cross boundaries to where, you know what I mean, you inflict anything on me to where I'm exposed to anything I don't want to be exposed to because of you living your life. That's where it becomes conflict. Like, you know what I mean? And so sometimes you you you can't be around certain people because they're never gonna change. Like, you know what I mean? You'll see a bull in the hood that, like, I can go back to my way right now, and I guarantee you it's gonna be somebody from 25 years ago, still at the bar, still doing the same thing. So let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:09

You really think in your heart you can love people from a distance?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:12

Yeah, I do. Because I love a lot of people from a distance, like right now. Like, you know what I mean? They my friends, but what I do don't interest you. Like, you know what I mean, and I'm not I don't wanna bombard you with my life or the things that I'm interested in. Like, I meditate, nigga. Like, you know what I mean? I meditate, uh I play chess in the morning, like basically all day long. But um I try to read, like, you know what I mean? I'm into different things. I wanna uh I wanna experience different things, like so you can't be open to everybody because everybody don't want to hear that shit. Yeah, I probably need a therapist then. Yeah, I've been around people that they only can see negativity in every situation. Yeah, I mean like I don't care what is said, how it's said, who it's said about, it's always the the rebuttal comes from the negative first before it reaches a positive. Now, if somebody combats the situation or or the information that a person said, then they may bend to where it's it there go positive, but their reaction initially is always negative. And that's draining, and you be like, damn, why people be like that? Yeah, why are we like why are we the way that we are? They us. I ain't like that. You are too.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:56

I'm never negative. You never see that. He just said you was ready to clip a whole everybody. That I that don't mean you're negative, that's just being honest with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:08

Well, honestly, sometimes you have negative thoughts. Oh I need you to be honest with yourself. Sometimes you have negative thoughts. We all got them. Why? What negative thoughts? We all got them. Being honest with yourself is not negative. Sometimes, when you're honest with yourself, the things that you think and the things that you want to do are negative. We don't all possess positive thoughts at all times. We just don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:32

Yeah, some people don't. I I got positive thoughts. Like I said, I wanted the best area, but I'm not gonna let you play with me, brother. I'm not gonna let them play. And my fuse, like, probably, I probably got the shortest fuse. Because I told you, once you let people play, all they gonna do is find ways to manipulate on playing with you. That's just like a girl, right? Break up with her, she cry. The next time, she's gonna be like, oh, next time, next time all I gotta do is cry and do something else. And then the next time, all I got you look, you play with me one time, you're gonna be crying forever.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:12

Yeah. This is this, I think for me, like uh to be away from people and situations like distance for me, don't mean hate. I don't hate nobody. I don't hate what you do. It's just I don't want to be a part of what you do. I can I can love you and still know you can't you can't come where I'm headed.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:36

I don't have hate. I don't let people say hate around me. I don't even if you ask my girl, if she be like, man, I hate don't say that around me. Like, yo, I hate that he wear them clothes. Like, I don't say none of that. You probably never hear me say hate. It's no hate in my blood. I want everybody to do good, but that don't mean I gotta be involved for you to do good. I'm talking about permanently. You could you could do good with me permanently out of your life.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:08

Right, that's distance. Like, you know what I mean? That's loving from afar. Yeah. You love people from a distance. Like, you know what I mean? Some people not meant for you to reach your next level. Like, cause you hold yourself back just playing with them people a lot of times. Yeah, they're they're they'll sabotage opportunities.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:26

Uh God won't even let you walk through the door because holding on the stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:31

Yeah, they dare to just sabotage opportunities and relationships. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? They only put themselves in a situation because they know that they're gonna be disruptive. Some people just thrive off your energy, though. Hold up, here go one for you. Some people thrive, some people are willing to inflict displeasure, inflict uh discomfort on themselves to see you uncomfortable. You want to know what that's called? A person will be happy that something bothers you and willing to go through something themselves just because it bothers you. But that's insanity. Shit, bro. But that's real. That's real. But that's like I said, you can give your energy to people like that, or you can distance yourself. Like, you know what I mean? I'm gonna fall back from you. Like, you know what I mean? I love you, but I'm gonna love you from over here. Like, you know what I mean? If you need me, you want some help, bro, I'm right here for you. But I can't see myself on a deli every day dealing with you because it's draining. I don't want that in my life. I don't need it. I'm tired of living my life in a reactive state. I think I think for us, man, one of the hardest things for us is the hardest lessons is you can motivate people, you can support people, you can pray for people, but you can't force people to grow. No, not at all. And for me, uh sometimes the creator starts removing people before you even understand why. Like, you know what I mean? Your conversations with certain people get shorter. The energy with certain people feel weird. People separate don't always chase what naturally falls apart. Like, and sometimes out of obligation we we we run back to it. Everything losing access to you ain't a loss.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:47

No, is I feel like a lot of times it'd be a gateway to open another door. You just don't understand that until later.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:55

Sometimes it's protection. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? It could be the creator protecting your peace. But we we'll see it differently. Like, so for me it's it's don't feel guilty for evolving. Like, you know what I mean? You don't don't don't kick yourself because this is where I'm at. And I'm and and uh the reverse to that is I'm not gonna down you because you're not where I'm at. Like, you know what I mean? I love you, but I like adult coloring books. You like hip hop like comics, or you might like uh rap battles or something like that. Like, you know what I mean? You may want to listen to rap battles. Like, we cool, but we got different interests. Like, I might want to go pull my golf clubs out, go to the, you know what I mean, drive a range, hit a few balls. You like, bro, that's some white shit. Fause. Falls. But you might be like, yo, that's some white stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:14

So we we I don't like when people put a race on and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:18

Everybody comes with that though. It comes with it because it's just certain things in our community that we grew up with that other communities didn't. We had to improvise for games. Yeah, curveball, curveball, uh, half-sies, half-sies, uh, tag, uh anything. Girls playing double dutch, all types. We improvised and we made the best out of our limited situations to where other people had things. Like they went to sporting events, they were on teams, they was on baseball teams and stuff like that. I can remember being on uh Biddy League football teams and stuff like that. Bro, we didn't even have all the uniform stuff. Like we had knee pads where the thighs were supposed, thigh pads were supposed to go. We just out there winging it. Telling you. So give me some of your uh if you had to leave the people with something about everybody can't go with you, what would be your remarks?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:18

Um It's something inside of you that that's a little voice that people don't know. It's called intuition. When it's talking about intuition, yeah, intuition. Intuition.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:30

Don't listen to it.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:33

No, don't bleep it out. Keep it the same.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:35

Keep it the same.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:36

It's called but go ahead. Some people might know it as a gut feeling.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:43

When you go against it, it always stirs you wrong. So don't go against it. If if it's telling you to leave, run.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:49

That's love it from a distance.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:51

Bro, I don't want to see nothing bad happen to you. No. But I damn sure ain't getting in that car with you. Like, you know what I mean? I already know that you be drinking, you know what I mean. I'm cool. I don't need no ride that bad. Like, you know what I mean? I'm good. And if that's what you're into, I'm gonna go on over here. Like, you know what I mean? We just ain't on the same thing. So if you're feeling guilty for evolving, don't. Every everybody's not supposed to go into your next chapter. Keep your heart good, stay solid, but stop shrinking yourself to keep everybody comfortable. Because your fit your future requires a different mindset, different habits, different energy. And that's key. That's okay. Appreciate everybody, but also appreciate yourself more. Like appreciate the things that people do around you, but appreciate yourself more, take time for you. Like, you know what I mean? Make sure that you do something for you. And sometimes that's getting away from a person. So I appreciate everybody tuning in. Make sure y'all share this episode with somebody, and that's it. Everybody can't tell. Oh, like, comment, subscribe. Like, comment, subscribe. And next week, we're gonna have on our cut straight to it t-shirts. And if you repost, like and subscribe, we will send you a free t-shirt.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:29

Dang on that. He he finesse boy, he's finesse Lord.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:36

We will send you a free t-shirt, and it don't cost you nothing to support. Like, you know what I mean? We ain't here on no dope, just genuine conversations, and I hope y'all get something from it. And if you like it, subscribe. And or if it's some some some positive feedback that you got, please give it to us. Like, you know what I mean? I appreciate y'all for tuning in, and thanks for listening to me. Good night. Good night.