Grinding Isn't Growing

Are you living your life — or just grinding through it?

On this episode of See Through, Dev and Roger break down hustle culture, the performance mindset, and why social media makes it worse. They unpack the real difference between grinding and growing, why rest isn't the enemy of progress, and why the happiest people you know probably aren't posting about it.

If you've ever felt like you're grinding toward someone else's goal, this episode is your permission slip to stop — and start actually growing instead.

In this episode: hustle culture • burnout • grind vs. growth • performance mindset • rest and productivity • building a life that's yours

New episodes every Sunday. Follow @SeeThroughPod on Instagram.

Follow us @seethroughpodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Welcome back. Welcome back to See Through. Hope you're doing well. Good day, everyone. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for listening. We really appreciate you taking the time to come and spend, I don't know, usually about a half an hour or so with us. Yeah, I think it's about 34 minutes to be a bit of a few years. 34 to 35 minutes. That's our average episode time. That's hilarious. It's flowing smooth. Hope you're having a good week. Hope you had a good week. Hope you're having a good day. Um, we're again super appreciative for you taking the time to listen to the show. Uh if you can, we'd love for you to subscribe, like, comment, share, uh, and even give us any feedback that you may have on the show. We're learning a lot. It's hard to believe, actually. Um, this episode that you're listening to right now is our 12th episode. It's the dozen. It's come quick.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah, it's that's like what three months? Three months of posting. Yeah, time flies. Thank you everyone for taking, you know, sort of your time out of your day to hang out with us for you know the 30, 35 minutes, listening to two of us just banter and chat about life topics I think that are important, um, that are trending, that may be significant to some of you out there. I think, you know, to Dev's point, uh, we're super grateful and and thankful that you are sharing feedback and sort of giving us the kudos on the things that you do like. I would encourage you to engage a little bit more and share with us maybe topics that you would love for us to discuss. Yeah, I would love that. Yeah, because I think maybe bringing out what's relevant for all of you would be really interesting on the topic and even sharing your own perspectives, and we can give you a shout-out as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Yeah, no, it's really uh exciting as we kind of continue to build out this community. And, you know, I have to say, I think when we started making this show, and as we continue to make the show, one of the questions we ask ourselves is is this something that we would want to listen to? Like, is this a topic that we would find valuable for you know our own kind of current experience? And I think there's a lot of relatability in that because we're really trying to make a show that is really effectively for us, and hopefully through that osmosis, somebody else finds benefit of it. But anyways, really excited uh to have you on this journey. We're excited about today's topic, and you know, it's a really important one. I think it kind of builds on this momentum of some of the other topics that we've been discussing around sacrifice and around commitments versus obligations, and around, you know, making sure that you're really clear on kind of what direction you're going in. And so we're excited to get into that, but we'll talk about a bit about that, we'll talk a little bit about that later. Sorry, stumbling over my words. Um but before we jump into it, Roger, how's how are things? What's new?

SPEAKER_00 2:51

What's going on with you? Yeah, listen, thanks for asking. Listen, the kids are off school, it's full summer mode swing, FIFA's done. Now you gotta fill in the gap of what are we doing with the kids. Um, so we've got our Wonderland seasons tickets in full swing. Right, Wonderland. Yeah, so we've been we've been spending some time there. I took uh the two kids and my niece uh for a full day.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

I should just interject. I've noticed I I'm a big nerd when it comes to our data and analytics. We have a lot of people that listen, not from Canada. And to quantify or to qualify Wonderland, Wonderland is think of like the most watered-down theme park you could possibly think of, and times it by two. Yeah, and that's Wonderland. It used to be really good because it's gone through a lot of ownership changes, but it's got roller coasters, think like the fair vibes, like definitely not as grand as like I've never been to Disney, so I can't even speak as if I'm like talking out of like I have no idea, but it doesn't seem as grand as like a Disneyland or Disneyland.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

You'll be surprised. I've been to Disneyland. Actually, the first time I went, I was 28 years old. Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, I went with some family, and yeah, I think the the theme park of Disneyland and the characters of Disney make it what it is. Yes, yes. But the actual layout and sort of the feel and the vibe of the place, it's very similar to Wonderland when you're walking around. It might be a little bit more polished in some of the, like, for example, the snow white and the castle and stuff is a little bit more polished. Yeah, they got some money. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

They got a lot of money. But it also costs an arm and a leg to go in there, right? So well, actually, funny, I was reading an article about I didn't know we were going to talk about theme parks right at the top of this episode. Um I was reading an article that like Disney parks in general are losing money hand over fist. Like they've really priced out the average family, which hey, spoiler alert, everything is priced out for the average family, different conversation. But um, I'm glad that you're so you're you're taking you said you were taking your niece and your kids to Wonderland. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

So we we went at the beginning of the week. Yeah, I think on Tuesday, we all went for the day. Um, it was fantastic. It was it rained in the morning, so the crowds were really small. So when we first got in there, there's no lineups. And I don't know about all of you when you go to Wonderland or if you go to a theme park, do you have your favorite ride? And do you do that ride multiple times? Well, my kids clearly have a favorite ride, it's called the back lot stunt coaster. Um, and from the main gate, it's at the back lot, so it's one of the furthest coasters you have to walk to. Okay. But, anyways, we I think for the day because the lineups were so small and everything was moving so fluidly, it was amazing. We must have done 24 rides. 10 of those was the back lot coaster. Oh, the same one. Like over and over again? So we did it four times, then we went to another couple rides, and we came back, did it four times again, and then we went off again, and then we came back and did it two more times before they called it a day. But um, I don't know. I just, you know, question for everyone out there, just answer it maybe for yourself. If you're going to a theme park or Canada's Wonderland, do you have a favorite ride and do you do you indulge in it over and over and over again, like my kids do? Is um, yeah. At one point, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go stand over there and just sit down. You guys keep doing the ride over and over again. Um, because if I left them to their own vices, they'd be sitting there all day.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Well, I mean, what? So you I mean, I'm obviously you have to line up every time you want to play, like, do this again, or how does that work? If there's lineups, yeah, you would have to line up. They just let you stay and they just like run it back. There was no lineups. Wow, that's pretty sick. So they just sit on the coaster and you just keep going over the room.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

No, no, no, you have to come off the coaster or the next group of people go because there's no lineups, they just kept lining up, lining up.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Right. Yeah. Well, actually, a fun fact, two fun facts. One of them is I actually grew up about I want to say a 10-minute walk from Canada's Wonderland. That's close. Yeah, that's where I spent a lot of my kind of high school life, university life. Um, it's where like my mom still lives, she lives in that area. And so I've spent a lot of time at Wonderland. So that leads me to my second fun fact, which is terrified of roller coasters. I hate all of them. So I don't even know what you're talking about. Back law, whatever lot. You've never been on a roller coaster. No, I unfortunately have. I have unfortunately been on a roller coaster, but I I avoid them as much as possible. I am very much there for the funnel cake and for the tiny toms and for all the food. I hate roller coasters. I hate those kind of rides. It was crazy because I actually went to Wonderland, funny, funny enough, a couple of weeks ago as part of like a birthday celebration, and for like which I thought was hilarious because it was for my birthday celebration, which I mean, as you can see, nobody cares about me. But um, yeah, I got forced to go on, I think it was it's like it's called um the Behemoth. Yeah, you know that one? Yeah, yeah. The orange one? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, it was horrible. Like I would say it's one of the tallest ones. I would say maybe you in the top three worst experiences of my life. Really? Yeah, like I'm not just like I'm even like I have like goosebumps just the same. Is it the height? Is it the state? It was all of it. It was just you're in there, and I don't even think the girl locked me in the stupid thing, and it was just not I couldn't feel my butt. It was just bad. It was just really bad. But anyways, if you're near a theme park, go and check it out. If you're not, also don't go and check it out. It wouldn't matter to me.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Well, listen, I love roller coasters, I love the speed, I love the drop. For me, Alpin Fury and um Yukon Striker is the one that has the 90 degree drop. Yeah, it's a no for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Yeah, it's a no for me. Okay, it's a no for me. Uh, all right. So, I mean, with that, um, what are we talking about today? What do you want to discuss and what's our dialogue gonna be about today, Roger?

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Yeah, great question. I, you know, I've sort of really been thinking about where do we want to take the topic for this week. And I do know after some dialogue and and sort of doing a little bit of research of what are some really you know top topics out there, what's top of mind for people. And one of the things I sort of found and I really wanted to talk about is well, define it from are you actually living or just performing your life? And what's sort of the epidemic or um you know, the issue that's at the forefront is this concept of the hustle and grind versus uh work-life balance, right, and finding what your happy medium is between the two. Apparently, there's this no new like with Gen Zier specifically, the numbers are pretty high, like 60% plus, where they're siding more now with mental well-being and having a more well-balanced life versus how I grew up, which was nose down, grinding, hustling, and all in kind of attitude, and then building for something in the future. Whereas I think today, with the cost of everything in life, and you know, you kind of hit it right out of the gate that you know you go to Disneyland and most people are priced out of that place. I think a lot of people have given sort of the whole homeownership and kind of those components maybe a backburner sort of thought now. Yeah. Um, curious what your take would be.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Well, you know, listen, I'll start by saying that it's interesting as you were saying all of that information. The first thing that came to my mind is I feel like through the different generations, and even as a millennial myself, I found that a lot of people were putting in work because they were told that in order to feel successful or to feel like they've done something, they need to have achieved some level of materialistic wealth. And for a lot of people, that's purchasing a property or being so financially stable that like you're able to go on vacations and afford a specific type of car and wear specific type of clothes or uh, you know, maintain a specific type of lifestyle, whatever that may be. And I actually really respect this Gen Z kind of kind of cohort for realizing that there really isn't a light at the end of their tunnel, and so they might as well not kill themselves to get to something that really is not designed for them to win. And I think that's kind of where I see a lot of my peers and a lot of the people that are like five years older than me and like five years younger than me struggle because they want for them to achieve what they felt like their parents were able to provide them. And because they weren't they're they don't feel like they can do that, they're either killing themselves to try to make that happen, yeah, or their mental health is just deteriorating because they're super self-conscious or they feel maybe not worthy uh of the life that they're living because they feel like they've wasted the opportunity that their first generation or second generation immigrant parents provided them.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Yeah, it's interesting you you bring that up, and I I I agree with you where if you know the Gen Z specifically demographic is thinking, you know what, my work life balance is more important, spending time with the people I actually care about is more important than this hustle and grind. It's giving me more fulfillment meaning. I think that's a really important thing. You know, because if you think about it, if you ask most people to describe their ideal life and then describe their actual life, they would most likely give you two completely different answers. Yeah, absolutely. Right? Yeah. And for me, that's definitely, I think, for my generation, because you're grinding, you're hustling, you're out there just, you know, trying to make a buck kind of thing. But then more often than not, when we're having idle conversations and sort of checking, you know, well, what would you do? Oh, you know what? I would love to have a place on the edge of a lake in the mountain somewhere and do nothing. Well, that's not the life you're actually living, right? So those are two polarizing sort of thoughts. And that gap, you know, is sort of where of those two things of you know what your actual life is versus what your ideal life should look like. That gap is really what I wanted to talk about in this episode today.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Yeah, I think that delta is a really interesting piece as well, because I think a lot of people don't think about if the things that they want are actually things that they decided that they wanted, or things that have just basically been programmed into thinking that they should want. Because really, when I sit down and I ask a lot of people that are unhappy, or if I notice a friend or, you know, family member that's not satisfied with where their current life existence is, when I ask them, I'm like, well, what is it that you want? They'll give me an answer. And that answer could be, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars, or I'd like to drive this car, or hey, I want to be able to, you know, rent and live out on my own. And my immediate follow-up is like, well, why do you want that? Like, who told like, how did you how did you come to that being the thing that you want? And you would be surprised. A lot of people don't have an immediate response to that. A lot of the times they'll come back with, well, like, it's just like, and they'll usually then insert someone that they know, someone that they've seen, they would bring up a parent, they would bring up a sibling, they'd bring up some external force to justify why they want that thing, versus I actually want that because this is what I want to do once I achieve that, and this is what I want to enable for myself. Because the thing that I also find that's really fascinating about this, and I've always struggled understanding this externally, because this has always really been kind of a deep core of my philosophy, which is it's really easy to put in the work towards the things that you want, because it's the things that really motivate you and get you out of bed. Sure. Like, and I really I really prescribe to the thought, like if they wanted to, like they would. People that want to do something when they're really, when their brain is really committed to it, there is no way to stop them, whether you like it or not. Like if somebody wants to eat bad food, like they will find a way to do it. Like they will not let distance, they will not let money, they will not let, you know, time, they will find a way to eat bad food if that's what they desire. If they want to, you know, do some nefarious activity, like they will find a way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Well, I think you know, you bring up a really interesting topic. When you have a picture painted in your mind, and listen, you may not even been the artist that painted the picture. Totally. Uh somebody painted it for you. And then, you know, if I can reflect back on my life and sort of my career, oh, I was all in it, putting in the hours, extra hours, running long, chasing, you know, the next thing, looking for the promotion. And if you were to ask me if I was happy in those moments, I would blindly just say, Yes, I was. Yeah. But that's without stopping to actually think about whether or not I was actually happy. Totally. I would just say, Yeah, oh, for sure, I'm happy. Totally. Right. And because I just felt like I was doing the right things in those moments. And for me, honestly, it wasn't until I took a moment to slow down to really reflect on what are the things that I find value in. Um, you know, spending time with the kids now, going to Wonderland, spending a whole day at the park, and not having a phone attached to my hip binging me constantly. Those are actually the more foundational and thing, you know, I think fundamental things that actually bring me joy and happiness. And it's not the chasing the next thing, the next thing. Because the thing I learned about the whole chase was when you grasp the next thing, you're not happy. You're actually looking at the now new next thing, and you're constantly chasing something new and something different. And I don't know that that offers any sort of level of fulfillment when you think of, you know, where the trending sort of ideology is today, that the hustle and grind isn't what's going to pay off. Maybe finding a work-life balance and investing in the things that matter to me is where I should spend my energy.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Well, you know, uh, for me also, one thing that really resonates as we're talking about this is I think a lot of people confuse effort with outcome. This idea that, oh, you know what? I'm gonna grind, I'm gonna do this for 10 hours every day for the next like five years. And, you know, because I'm gonna do this, I gotta, you know, see this result. That's just not sustainable. It's also not healthy. I think a lot of people confuse when it comes to like putting in effort quality over quantity.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

And I think a lot of people work really hard and put in a lot of quantifiable effort into something, their job, taking on extra assignments at work, putting in extra hours, you know, studying. But because they're not done with high quality, somebody that's doing higher quality work often is happier and is able to outpace them because they're not needing to put nearly as much energy to get the same output.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

You know, if I can interject, that's a really solid point. And here's where my mind went with that. It's measuring your life against what other people actually see versus measuring it against what you actually feel. 100%. Right. And sorry, I did, I just I didn't want to lose that train of thought. No, it's a really good way to articulate that. I just thought, oh, wow, like that's really powerful. And how do we how do we come back into that sort of frame of thinking?

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Yeah. Just I think the more you reflect on where is your energy, where is your time going, what I think you'll start to also recognize is are you putting more energy than you need to with also a diminishing return where you're not also getting that output? And that can happen in your fitness journey, that can happen in a relationship, that can happen in a work situation, that can happen when you're studying, where you have to ask yourself that hard question and then also be okay with that hard answer. And then I think the other side of this coin, which is the more effort you put into something, the more you also need to counterbalance that in another part of your life so that you feel that balance. Cause what burns somebody out is when there is no balance, right? There's an imbalance. And I always looked up a lot to athletes growing up. I'm a huge sports fan. I love all sports. And what I always appreciated about an athlete is for those two, three hours, four hours, however long their sporting event is, they're so locked in. All they're thinking about is being the best on whatever court, pitch, you know, arena they're playing their sport in. But as soon as that game is done, as soon as that whistle blows, they then take all of that energy that they just spent, being the best that they could be, being 100% focused on that next play, on wherever the ball is, wherever the puck is, to being fully focused on themselves and recovering and taking care of their body and their mind. And they took that same amount of energy and then they displaced it into back themselves. 100% to then restore that balance so that they could show up in that next match with the same level. But think of that like when you go to work. When you're at work, that's your game. And if you are not able to, as soon as you leave work, take the amount of energy that you just put into your nine to five job or 12 to 9 job or whatever hours you work, overnight job, and put that back into yourself. And instead, you doom scroll or you, you know, eat bad food, or you do something that doesn't put that energy back into your system, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, however you want to classify. Sure. Well, of course you're gonna burn out.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Yeah, the key word in there was the balance. Yes. Right. And it's gotta be equal parts, not slightly leaning one way or the other. Totally. And I think when you think of the Gen Zers and their sort of thought of, I'm not gonna hustle and grind because the really it's not worth the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Yeah. Right. And and to change that philosophy and way of thinking, you're absolutely right. In order to be at your best in an environment, you have to equally nourish, rest, and do something opposite to that environment so that you can come back at it. I'll I'll go back into um training and working out. And sort of I'm on this journey and I'm having so much fun with this. I'm finding a two things, right? A, you have to stay consistent. Yep. So if you want to be at the top of your game in whatever that is, it's sports or your professional life or your personal health journey, whatever. The number one thing I can tell you is don't follow any fads. You don't need to do all that. You just have to be consistent. Four to six days a week, stay consistent. Some days, some weeks it might be six because you're feeling the float, go with it. And then the other weeks, you might only do three to four days. That's okay, just go with it. So the consistency in your whatever you're trying to attain is gonna be key. Um, the other component of that is the rest, right? You said it. If you're not eating well, you're not sleeping well, well, if you're at your work environment, your sport environment, or whatever it is, you're not showing up ready to go again. And for me, I've found I was overtraining. I was going hard six days a week, too hard. I would work out like an animal with weights, and then I'd be on the treadmill running and swimming. Sweating, but I wasn't gaining or my card cardiovascular health was amazing, but physically it I wasn't looking the way I wanted to look. I wasn't burning the body fat. Anyways. So then I switched it up. I went into polarizing rest mode to my workout. So if I worked out two hard days, I would take two days off to rest. If I worked out three hard days, I would take three days off to rest just to try out to see what it did. It metamorphosized my body. I've shedded body fat like you wouldn't believe. I got stronger, my posture became better. I went, I tore a bicep and dislocated a shoulder. And I was afraid I wouldn't be doing pull-ups again because I actually did that doing pull-ups. I'm doing more pull-ups now. Amazing because I'm resting more. I actually happened because I was doing too many pull-ups. I actually hurt myself. Um, and now I'm finding, yeah, my strength is off the charts and my physical attributes are where they where they were in my mind, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

That's really, yeah, I think that analogy can be applied honestly to any aspect of your life. It's the same kind of principle, which is you've got to make sure for as hard as you're going towards something, you're also taking a beat to give yourself the opportunity to re-energize to actually be able to continue to sustain that. Because you actually get farther going a little bit slower, but for longer than by going much, much faster right out of the gate. And I think that's the other piece that I also see a lot, and I think a lot of people get wrong. And it's so fascinating to me because people then are just perpetually creating their own kind of vicious cycle, which is are you actually decompressing and re-energizing in a way that actually makes you better in the long term? Or does that actually take more energy out of you? And what I mean by that is I see so many people that work so hard to try to get ahead in their careers or to get ahead in their life, working multiple jobs, and then throw that all away by then wasting time, you know, spending it with people that make them feel bad about themselves or don't make them feel good about where they're at, or worse, allow others to kind of judge and kind of give them negative self-talk, which then makes them again feel inadequate. It's like, yo, surround yourself with things, people, energies that actually make you feel good because that's also exhausting to never have a bit of a break or like an outlet to like release all of that energy that you're coming from. And I think that's the other piece is a lot of people, because they don't have safe spaces, also burn out and also when they're hustling, feel like it's such a chore because they don't know how to balance that with their just daily experience.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Interesting. What you just brought up is something called the performance trap, right? It's where, and social media's really sort of blew that up and exposed it for for more than what it is. It's not that performing for others or performing for a job or family or dinners or at a you know community event hadn't always existed. We've now been hyper sort of exposed to it. And what I mean by that is people love to share their lives, right? So the danger isn't sharing your life. The danger is when the sharing starts to drive the living. So then you're no longer just living your life. Consciously, you're aware that I'm gonna post what I'm doing somewhere. Yeah. So I have to curate this content so people think I'm living this next level life or whatever it is that you're trying to show. Yeah. So, you know, it's called the performance trap. And I know a lot of us fall into that, and you have to be mindful and recognize when that starts to show up in your life, so you're not doing it.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Yeah. And even it doesn't even need to be in social media. I think a lot of people fall into the performance trap around, man, when I meet this person for the next time, I want to make sure I have something like really cool to share. Yeah. Or even like, man, the next time I'm at this family gathering and you know, my uncle asks me what the hell I'm up to. I've got something cool to say, or, you know, when when my mom is gonna boast about me in this random situation, they've got something really material. And I think we sometimes beat ourselves up also because it's hard when you feel like you've been putting in the work and you haven't seen the result. And I'll start by saying I've experienced that in so many different capacities, and it is absolutely normal. But what I've learned through that experience of putting in the work was two things. One, your I think, ability as a person isn't always dictated by always getting the result that you think you deserve. And I say that because the moment you have your own, I guess you could say, blinders up of like, hey, unless I see this exact result, then all of this energy, time, money, whatever you want to, whatever resource you're using is a waste. You're effectively robbing yourself of the opportunity to really see what could be. And there's been multiple occasions where I've put in, let's say, extra work into an assignment or extra work into a relationship of some kind. And I've asked myself, okay, what I'm hoping to see is this. And when I don't see that, I'm disappointed, I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm mad, all those negative emotions. But when I started to reframe that as I'm gonna put in the work mainly because it is going to fulfill me and it actually makes me feel good that I get to do this and disassociate from the outcome, it makes the work that much lighter. And guess what? The result actually naturally starts to happen because you're not putting so much pressure on that being the outcome.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

You know, that a question came into my head as you're talking, because you know, your point is right on. It's if nobody could see what you were doing this week, would you still be doing it? Yeah, that's a good question. Right? Nobody could see it. If nobody can see it, no one's gonna judge you, no one's gonna look at it, would you still be doing the things that you thought you should be doing? It's true. You know, I come, I come back and I reflect and I think, you know, I watched my parents, their generation define success, and it was really simple for them stability, family, community, and really that was it. Um, they were not performing, they were just living. In my generation, it became a little bit more ambitious, more comparative, you know, and the Joneses, that adage of what are the Joneses doing, keeping up with the Joneses, that became more of a moving target. And a lot of us sort of got into this mindset of, oh, that person's got a nice car, I got to get a nice car. That person's got a brand new house, beautiful house, I got to get a new, beautiful house. And, you know, with the new generation, the younger generation now coming to this sort of realization that the hustle and flow is not necessarily worth it anymore. It's inspiring, but it's also it's too too face for me. It's inspiring in that sense, but it can also be concerning. And I think, yes, they're more aware of the trap and not falling into it than any generation before them. But for me, that awareness without action becomes an anxiety. Yeah. What are you doing with that knowledge?

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Absolutely. Because I I think you could also swing this pendulum the other way, where I've met a lot of amazing young people that are taking it a little too easy. Right. And are kind of just resting on this idea of, hey, you know what, it's not worth you know, my physical health, mental health, emotional health. So therefore, I'm not going to put any effort into anything. Yeah. Which again, kind of like the hustle culture, it's the kind of the same contest consequence in reverse, which is by trying not trying and by not doing anything, or by, you know, being spoon-fed the answers. And with AI, now it's even harder to tell, you know, I think AI is making smart people even smarter and stupider people even stupider. Because now people don't necessarily even need to think for themselves. They have a computer that could literally give them an opinion on anything at any time. And so I think the real punchline is how do you ensure that every action that you're taking moves you in the direction that you want to move? Because as long as you're centered in that, you can never really burn out because you're doing things under your own agency. Yeah. The moment you're doing something because you feel like you have to do it or for the sake of doing it, and that's the mentality you're in, well, good luck. You're definitely gonna negatively enjoy that experience every single day.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Yeah, and you know, like if you if you don't believe it, you know, listening to us, and you're kind of like, I don't know that I buy into that. I would encourage you to just go out and meet random strangers. And I've been doing that, you know, if I'm you know, at Candos Wonderland, my kids are on a ride and there's somebody standing next to me, hey, how's it going? How's your day going? And you just get into a conversation. And the reason I think having idle conversation with people you don't know, it's so good and beneficial for you from a multitude of things. It allows you to socialize and articulate and maybe find some relatabilities, but it's also to hear stories and and and learn about other people and how they're navigating their own life journey, right? And I think for me, some of the most interesting people I've met in my life are the ones who quietly opted out of this performance culture and sort of appeasing everyone, everyone else, and started building and doing things for themselves that are real, and usually without announcing it. They just quietly said, you know what? I don't really care what the Joneses are doing. I really don't care if you see what I'm doing. I'm just gonna do something for myself. And I often find those are the most successful, interesting people in life because they just stopped chasing the status quo and they allowed themselves to be free of it, which allowed them to find what their niche or gift is.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Totally. You know, I read this quote once that reminded me of what you're saying, which is rich is really loud, but wealth is totally silent.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Yeah, love that one.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

And honestly, I think the people that are truly the happiest, I gotta tell you, you wouldn't even know because they're not even telling you about what is happening in their life. Yeah. If you talk to anyone that's truly happy, truly content, they're so self-content and they're so self uh, you know, motivated that they don't even need, they don't feel obligated to even share it. So that's kind of the first kind of telltale sign of if you've got a if you've got somebody that's always kind of telling you what they're doing and making sure that you're always aware of where they're at and what they're up to, that person is not happy.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Yeah, I think performing your life is exhausting because you know, you're always managing an audience, totally, right? Like, hey, look at me, look at me. Yeah, I think that's just too much. For me, it the question isn't it's not whether you are successful, the question is whether you would recognize your own life if you stripped away everything other people can see.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

And you just stood there, would you even see it and be like, oh, this is my life?

SPEAKER_01 33:07

Right? Absolutely. Well, give that a thought. We'd love to see and see through your perspective on that. Because, hey, listen, you don't have to agree with us, but I think it's important that you ask yourself, are you performing? Are you living? And if you're not, I really think it's time that you change that. And so as we wrap up today's episode, I'm gonna tee Roger up, who's gonna close us out with uh our motivational minute. And um, we'll see you next week. Thank you again for listening, and uh, we hope you have a great, great week. Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

You know, I want you to think about something for a second. Think about the version of you from five years ago, maybe even ten. Think about what that version of you was worried about. The things that kept you up at night, the problems that felt impossible, the situations you were absolutely convinced you were never going to get through. And now, look at you. You got through every single one of them, every last one of them. Not perfectly, not without bruises, not without some nights where you genuinely did not know how it was going to work out. But you got through them because you were still here, and that is not a small thing. That is actually everything. We spend so much of our lives preparing for what is coming, bracing for what could go wrong, rehearsing the conversations we have not had yet, worrying about the outcomes we cannot control. And somewhere in all of that noise, we forget to stop and just acknowledge something really simple. You have already survived 100% of your hardest days. Let that land for a second. Every moment you thought was going to break you, every loss that you were certain you could not carry, every version of yourself that you had to leave behind to become who you are right now, you survived all of it. And not just survived, you learned from it. You grew from it, even when it did not feel like growth. Even when it just felt like loss. Here's what I've learned in my years on this planet. The people who seemed the most unshakable are not the people who have had the easiest road. They are the people who went through the hard road and quietly decided that it was not going to define them. They decided that the difficult was not the destination, it was the path. So wherever you are right now, whatever chapter you are in, whether things are really good for you, or you are almost afraid to trust what's happening around you, or whether things are really hard and you cannot quite see the other side of it, I want you to remember one thing. You've been here before. Not this exact moment, but this feeling, this uncertainty, this weight. And you have moved through it every single time. So keep moving, not because everything is figured out, not because the path is clear, but because you have already proven to yourself. And that is not nothing. That is who you are. We will see you on the other side of wherever you are. And when you're walking, walk with your shoulder and your head held high. Take care.