Backwards But Redeemed | Biblical Womanhood, Marriage, Identity & Redemption with Pastor Victoria

Welcome to Backwards But Redeemed, a podcast hosted by Pastor Victoria—a place where real-life experiences meet biblical truth and where redemption takes center stage.

Each episode is designed to encourage, equip, and challenge women to discover their true identity in Christ, embrace biblical womanhood, cultivate godly marriages, and walk confidently in the purpose God has ordained for their lives. Through personal testimony, scriptural teaching, and Spirit-led conversations, Pastor Victoria shares the lessons God has taught her through seasons of brokenness, healing, growth, and redemption.

No matter where you've been or what your story looks like, God's grace is greater. This podcast is a reminder that even when life has been backwards, God is still in the business of redeeming, restoring, and making all things new.

Join Pastor Victoria as she explores topics such as:

•  Biblical womanhood 
•  Identity in Christ 
•  Marriage and family 
•  Spiritual growth and discipleship 
•  Healing and restoration 
•  Purpose and calling 
•  Living a life surrendered to Jesus 

This is more than a podcast—it's a journey of transformation, truth, and redemption. Because your past does not define you, but the Redeemer does.

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted... to proclaim liberty to the captives." — Isaiah 61:1

Backwards But Redeemed — where broken stories become powerful testimonies of God's redeeming grace.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Backwards But Redeemed. I'm so glad you're here today. I'm Victoria, and we're going to talk about today a little bit of how this podcast and the journey of it came about. You know, my own journey of learning how to become a godly woman, wife, mother, after doing so much of my life backwards. I did everything in reverse. And there's one thing I've learned: God is still a redeemer. No matter how broken the story feels, God still knows how to restore, heal, and rewrite your story. So today I just want to start by beginning with my story to give you a little bit of who I am and why this podcast exists. I actually grew up in a really good home with my mom and my dad. They raised me and my little brother. And we grew up in church, around church. Church was my life. Um, we actually lived right in front of our church for a really long time. And it was peaceful. Um I'm sure there was things going on in my parents' life that me and my brother didn't know about. But in that in those early years, I remember it just being peaceful. When I was about seven or eight years old, um, my parents decided we were gonna go to a new church. We had been visitors of that church. I had family members that went to that church and I loved going there. And I met a girl there. She was a little bit younger than me, and we became friends, and things were still really good. And about six months after going to this church, my entire life shifted. Um, I found out that she was actually my half-sister, that her dad was my biological father. And honestly, even as a child, something inside of me broke in that moment. Suddenly, I started questioning everything. Started questioning my identity, my worth, my place in this world. And then about a year later, my parents divorced, and I remember the enemy really beginning to plant lies in my heart. Lies of you're not worth it, you're not good enough, no one wants you, you will never be loved. And as a little young girl, I didn't know how to separate truth from lies. I didn't know where the thoughts were coming from, and so I started to believe them. And it is so important to parents, and we'll get into this the next episode, but I really want to touch on it right now. Teach your kids their identity in God at a young age. I didn't know that the enemy was already trying to plant seed of doubt in my head, um, and trying to destroy my identity. And because I didn't know my identity in God and who God created me to be at such a young age, the enemy wreaked havoc in my life for a very long time. And as I got older, those wounds followed me into every relationship, every relationship I had with my parents, with family, with friends, boyfriends, all the things because deep down I didn't believe I was worthy of real love. So I accepted unhealthy love, a lot of unhealthy love. I held on to people that I should have let go of because I was terrified to be rejected and abandoned. I looked for validation and relationships and attention, and attention because I was trying to feel wounds that only God could feel, but I didn't realize that at the time. If I'm pretty enough, I can find a husband that can fill this void in my heart. But the honest truth is God is the only one who could heal those places and fill those voids. And honestly, I made a lot of decisions from a broken place instead of a healed place. I married someone I shouldn't have married. We separated, we were still married. I went back into another unhealthy relationship that became abusive. And my life was just felt like cycle after cycle of pain, confusion, and survival. And even though I was functioning outwardly, inwardly, I was falling apart and I was carrying so much bitterness, unforgiveness, shame, and exhaustion. And I believe that there's so many women who function like that on a daily, so many people who function like that on a daily. To the world, everything might look okay, maybe not perfect, but okay. But on the inside, we're in complete chaos. And during all of that, I became a mom. And I love my children deeply, and I know God sent them to me at the right time to save my life in different ways. But if I'm being honest, I was just trying to get through motherhood, and I was still trying to mother out of unhealed pain and bitterness and anger. And I was just trying to figure out how to be a good mom when I still didn't fully know who I was. I had no clue who I was, and I'm trying to raise other young ladies, and I had no clue who I was as a woman. And I know there are probably women listening who understand that feeling. You're surviving, you're carrying responsibilities, you're loving your family, but inwardly you're tired, wounded, wondering if God could even use your life and what is the purpose of all this. And I did that for 30 years of my life of pretty much just struggling. Um, and my girls from the time they were babies until teenagers had to deal with a mom who was wounded and trying to love them to the best of my ability, but I had no clue who I was, and I was still hurting so bad, and so they did not always get the best version of me, um, but I have learned to let that go. Um, and I give them the best of me that I can now. I do not have it all figured out, they'll tell you, um, I'm still working this out, but God has taught me so much in these last few years of who I am, and that it all starts with learning who I am in him, not anyone else, not what the world wants me to be, but who he wants me to be and who he created me to be. So, like I said, this first episode is just a quick run through of my life, and then we're gonna dive deep into the next few episodes. But in my 30s, something changed. I had a real encounter with God, and it wasn't religion, it wasn't just church attendance, and it wasn't just knowing about God, but a true encounter. He sat down in front of me and opened my heart up to show me who he was, softened it to him enough so I would be willing to take in his words and listen to him. And for the first time in my entire life, I began to understand my identity through God instead of through rejection. God started showing me that I wasn't abandoned, I wasn't worthless, and I wasn't broken. He began healing the lies I had believed since I was a little girl, and I was about eight or nine years old when I started believing those. And a little by little, he started teaching me how to walk differently, how to be a godly woman, how to be a godly mother, and how to become a godly wife. Not perfectly, but faithfully. I am not perfect, but I know what his word says, and I follow him faithfully. And that is what this is all about. It's not being perfect, it's about how do I show God through being a woman? How do I show God through being a wife? How do I show God through being a mother? And that is what this podcast is all about. That's really why this podcast exists because I know I'm not the only woman who has done parts of my life completely backwards. Like I got married, I had kids, and then I found Jesus. Um we probably didn't do that in reverse, but I did everything backwards. And so I know I'm not the only one. And I know there are many women and men who carry shame, confusion, rejection, church hurt, relationship wounds, and fears. And they're asking, what does the Bible actually say? Can God still use me? How do I walk this out now? And I want this podcast to be a place where women can heal, grow, and learn how to walk with God in truth and grace. We're gonna talk about relationships, motherhood, marriage, healing identity, biblical womanhood, and practical faith. But most importantly, we're gonna keep pointing back to Jesus. Everything is gonna come back to Jesus. You know, one of the scriptures that became very personal to me in the beginning, and even in the last few years, we'll get to that of things that had happened in my life was Joel 225. And I'm gonna read it. We might read a little bit more than just that verse. It says, I will repay you for the years that the swarming locusts ate, the young locust, the destroying locusts, and the devouring locusts. My great army that I sent against you. You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied. You will praise the name of the Lord your God who has dealt wondrously with you. My people will never again be put to shame. You will know that I am present in Israel and that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other. My people will never again be put to shame. And that verse for so long and still does play a big part in my life. When the enemy comes at me with shame or questioning my identity, I go back to that because I am his people, I am his daughter. So in that verse, he's telling me, you will never again be put to shame because you are mine, and because you are mine, there is no shame. You know, I truly believe God is a restorer of all things, he restores identity, he restores peace, he restores family, and most importantly, he restores purpose. And I know he can restore you, just like he restored me and so many others. We we think sometimes we've gone too far. He can't use me anymore. I've done too much wrong. There's there is no going back, but there is with God. God is a restorer, He can make all the other things turn into good for him. To point back to him, look at what I've done, but look at what God did. Look at how God saved me. And when you do that, and you can look back and say, God was in it the entire time. I might not have seen him in the moment, but he saved me. He saved me from that. He saved me from suicide, he saved me from depression, he saved me from anxiety. It might not have looked like it in the moment, but once you get through, you can see his hand all over it because you're still here and you're still breathing and moving and talking. So wherever you are today, I just want you to know your story is not over, your mistakes are not your identity, and your past does not disqualify you. God still redeems people. And so I just want to thank you so much for listening to the first episode of Backwards, but Redeemed. The next episode, we're going to talk deeper about rejection, identity wounds, and the lies that the enemy plants in our hearts. I love you guys, and I will see you next time.