Under Pressure: Coach Eric Kjar on Leadership, Mental Health, and Resilience

What does it really take to lead when the spotlight is relentless, expectations are sky-high, and every misstep is visible?

Welcome to the second episode of The Stand4Kind Podcast with Shara Park—a space built to share real stories of inspiration, resilience, and growth.

In this episode, we sit down with Coach Eric Kjar as he steps into a defining new chapter—his first year as head coach of the Weber State University football program, after building one of the most dominant high school football programs in Utah history. With 7 state championships, a 48-game winning streak over three seasons, and a track record for developing elite athletes at Corner Canyon High School, Coach Kjar knows what pressure feels like. But this conversation goes far beyond wins and losses.

Coach Kjar opens up in a deeply personal way—sharing his own mental health journey, including being diagnosed with MS as a young coach and the lasting impact of losing his father to suicide. It’s a powerful reminder that even those who lead and inspire others are carrying challenges we don’t always see.

We talk about what pressure does to your mindset, how to handle expectations when they feel overwhelming, and why mental health matters just as much as physical performance—especially for young athletes navigating high-stakes environments. Coach Kjar shares lessons on leadership, self-doubt, and the kind of resilience that isn’t always visible on the scoreboard.

If you’ve ever felt the weight of expectations, questioned your abilities, or wondered what it truly takes to succeed when everything is on the line—this episode is for you.

Subscribe to stay up to date. A new episode drops every Thursday.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

What does it take to lead at the highest level? When everyone's watching, expectations are sky high, and failure is public? Today on the Stanford Kind podcast, we're sitting down with Coach Eric Kerr, the new head coach of the Weaver State University football program, stepping into his first year at the college level after building one of the most dominant high school programs in Utah. He's coached athletes who have gone on to play at the highest levels. But today, we're going deeper into pressure, mental health, leadership, and the lessons every young athlete needs to hear. If you've ever felt the weight of expectations, doubted yourself, or ever wondered what it really takes to succeed, this conversation's for you. All right, Coach Kerr, thank you so much for being here on the podcast. I can't tell you how excited I am about this conversation. Um I want to get right into, first of all, being at Weaver State. How are you feeling? Does it feel overwhelming going from high school now to a college level, drinking from a fire hose, basically?

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, initially when I like first took it, um, obviously there's a ton of excitement and and was excited for the challenge, but then like getting into it and even just going, like even applying, like there was some pressure of just hey, like if this happens, like it's gonna be really, you know, a a lot. And there's gonna be a lot of things like that I haven't done before that I'm gonna be thrown into. And we talked a little bit about like the NCAA rules, but even some of just the policies, procedures, handling of staff and and operating it at a different um environment and level, like at the college level versus the high school level. There's a lot of parts that are the same, but there was a a good portion of it that's been different and like like you said, drink it from a fire hose for sure. Like especially early on.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

When you first came in here, I asked you, was it like somebody walked in with a big giant book and just like dropped it on your desk and said, Here are all the new rules you have to know?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Yeah. There's been a lot of that, just trying to stay on top of it. And we got a really good compliance staff that that helps and and helps keep me kind of abreast of like the new stuff that's coming on. And it's a lot though. Oh, yeah, it's a lot for sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Has it sunk in that you are a Division I coach? I mean, you were at Corner Canyon. Um, how many years were you actually there?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

I was there nine. Nine years.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

Um but has it sunk? I'm sure there were you know talks of you going and coaching at the college level, but you to go right to a head coach position, that's a big deal. Not a lot of high school coaches do that. So has there been a moment where it's kind of hit you like, oh my goodness, what have I done?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Yeah, like for sure, a few times. Like in even like you had talked about a little bit like overwhelming part of it, like early on, especially. Um, but like just knowing and the decision-making process of why I wanted to do it, the challenge of it, trying to grow a little bit more from a professional standpoint and push myself to like another level. I felt like that, like I just kept kind of relying back to that because there was some times where I was like, oh, like I should have just maybe stayed where I was. And uh it's been good though. Like it's been everything I wanted when I decided to do it and to grow and like learn more and improve in the game, like of actual coaching it, but then learning the other parts of it has been uh really, really good for me for sure. But overwhelmed for sure. I bet.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

Yeah, there's a lot more players, a lot more paperwork, a lot of pressure still too, like trying to make sure you're right on stuff.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

I'm sure. Well, even the recruiting aspect, like the pressures that come with that, like to make sure you're right on the kids you bring in and you're bringing in good kids that are gonna represent the university the right way, and be and then they still got to be able to play football the right way too.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

So well, and all the rules that go with recruiting. I was on a recruiting trip. Um, I won't say the school because I don't want to get them in trouble, but I was on a recruiting trip for volleyball and I was out of state and the coach came running in at the place I was staying, and they said we got to get you back on a plane right now because they they missed the windows where I could actually be there. You know, there's so many little rules so many I just got an email about the many dead periods and I was like, oh, all right, yeah, but at the school, and one of them came upon them and they they messed up the dates, and all of a sudden I was on a plane by myself heading back home. So yeah, those things do happen.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

We've got to get you on a plane, you gotta get it. So that's wild.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

Okay, so I I asked you to be here today because yes, we could talk about football all day long. We love football, but I want to go a little bit deeper with you because when I think about people in the state who have had to really perform under pressure, I think about you and what you came from at Corner Canyon. So I want to back up a little bit because I think that there is an opportunity here to connect with a lot of people and a lot of athletes out there who might feel that pressure and not know how to deal with it. So walk us back. I want to, I mean, I have to say this, you have to say this. 48 game winning streak when you were at Corner Canyon. Um, in your career, seven state championships, one at Jordan High School. Um, when people talk about your coaching career, I it's a legacy here in Utah. And I know you probably don't like to hear that. Every coach is humble in the sense that they're like, I okay, move on. But what did that feel like for you in terms of that pressure as it built?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yeah, that's it's a great question. And it's one like I've thought about a lot myself and like how to manage it, because you feel it for sure. Like the the better you get in your program and your team gets, and the the you know, the higher the expectations get. Um But Riley Jensen one time came and met with our team about like how to kind of handle some of that stuff. And and once like that pressure's earned. Um, like it's not like we didn't do anything in our program there to earn that pressure and embrace that and lean into it a little bit. Like this is what we wanted. Would we want it to be the other way? We were mediocre and and not a high-level team that that you know had achieved some things. We wanted like all of that part of it. And you got to remember that when you're doing it, that's really what you want. And there is a ton of pressure that goes with it. Like, there was nights where like you would just, I mean, it you want to continue, and not even really so much for yourself, but like for your team and the kids, like to stay on a high level and be high achieving and win a state championship. You want teams to go out the right way, and there's a lot that adds up, like onto that. I remember like there's a few times I even talked to my brother, he's like, Well, yeah, you guys haven't lost a game in like three seasons. And I'm like, Yeah, but it's that's unheard of. When you I a lot of times would just try to function without thinking about it, but every once in a while you would just kind of like, hey, like we gotta like get this thing going. And you tried not to let yourself get into that space, just focus on the game, focus on the process, like do that stuff the right way.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Did it ever, did it ever? I mean, let's talk about what people didn't see. They they see the wins, the losses, they see the stats, they see Corner Canyon one again, one again. Uh, they see the big names that come out of the program, right? What did they not see behind the scenes when you were coaching?

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Yeah, there were there's there was definitely like nights for sure, and and like sometimes like days where there was like a lot of pressure to continue that and and uh and you would try to go back to like the parts that you knew okay why you were doing it. But like there was lots of sleepless nights and and you try not to let it get to you too much.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

But was there one thing you would do? Is there is there one thing that would ground you?

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Exercise a ton.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Physical exercise.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Oh yeah, for sure. That was one of the best things, great outlet for me that would kind of let me recenter myself a little bit and not um you know, you I'd have those anxious moments of trying to make sure we continued to stay at a high level. And the exercise part for me has been a great tool um in just working through mental health stuff and then also you know being able to stay a little better grounded and and there's some other things like a little bit of meditation stuff that I had done, but um that had helped out a ton.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

I hope that our male athletes hear that, the young ones, you just had meditation.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Yeah, I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Did you ever try to implement that with your kids?

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Because I could see a lot of them just rolling their eyes, those high school kids, you know, like oh, we're not gonna meditate. But no, there's there's truth in that.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, meditation visualization are great tools and and really good players like for or tools for players to uh to achieve at a high level. The brain's such a powerful tool and controls everything and can really um it it's it's a great tool for mental health too, but it can really create you add that physical side plus that mental side into it. It can create like a super athlete or a high achieving type athlete if they trust it and and embracing it.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Was there ever a moment, you know, like a singular moment that you can reflect back on a game, a practice before a big game, and you guys traveled all over the country to play really big teams where it almost just felt too like too much. And and if there was, what did you do in that moment to help uh bring you back?

SPEAKER_00 9:15

There was probably a few times like when we like the consecutive part of it and then the championships, especially kind of later, like the last two seasons, those two years. Um wherever you felt it, like where it didn't feel like too much, but it felt like a lot. Like it was almost to a point where you're like looking forward to when it's done.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

But you recenter and you go back to like your the kids. Like if you focus on your players and like what they do and like how they approach everything, and like they're fun too. So like you have a lot of fun with them, you enjoy, you remember why you're doing it. Like, why why did I get into this game? Why am I coaching it? Like, it if you get back and just focus on your players and helping them and and prepping them the right way and then having fun with them too. Like, it's it that's really why I got into it. And if I can remember that when I get into those moments where it's really, really hard and really difficult, and I'm like, I don't know, like about doing this still, like maybe I need to go, you know, retire for a little bit, but you love it, like you love the game and like the the the every that part of it, so you go back to that. That's why you do it, and you gotta reframe it. The other stuff's so big and overwhelming, but if you go back to why you're doing it, like the kids, the the kids are great. Like, is that why you got into coaching?

SPEAKER_03 10:44

Did you always think you were gonna be a coach? Is that where your path was taking you? Did you know that?

SPEAKER_00 10:49

I yes, but I kind of I thought about not doing it just from a financial aspect, especially the high school.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

We know that.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

But I thought about going into accounting for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

Shout out to all the coaches out there who are putting in the work every day.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

No doubt. Yeah, no doubt. It's there's really especially like high school coaches, but then even like the guys you bring in, like just assist.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

Okay, so what was the moment as a coach? I think uh, you know, I coached high school as well, but what was the moment where you went, This this is my path, this is what I want to do? Was there a certain athlete? Was there a certain moment in coaching where it really sunk in for you that this is what you needed to do?

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Yeah, I had a uh a head coach. He was my first two years that I was at Kimmer. I grew up in Kemmer, Wyoming. And um, I really looked up to him. Um and then I like a few years later, I had a friend that went to that same high school, or sorry, that went to the new high school that he was coaching at. We were back there and we talked about like the high school coaching aspect of it and and really what he liked about it, and that's when I for sure locked in and knew, like, I'm gonna do this, like this is what I enjoy about it. And it's just like that effect you can have on on a you know, a high school kid.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Uh just because of his influence on you, what was it that he did or how did he guide you?

SPEAKER_00 12:11

His passion, like for it, but then also like just the way he handled himself um to like in that profession, like pushing us, like he was very driven, um, hardworking, goal setting, high achieving, but then also like fun too. Yeah. At that same time, and I I like that's a great way to be, you know, productive and and improve and continue to get better as a person, but then also having a lot of fun as you do it. And then you get to make and I I think some of the differences you see in the uh that you can make with young men in those sports is it's huge. It's unmatched. Like you there's not another avenue you can do that in, and it's all encompassing, like it's not just football, it's it's their personal life, school. Um, like you know, what we're talking about mental health. There's a ton of things you can have influence with that in too.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Speaking of, I want to go back to that a little bit here, the mental health. I mean, you coach some really big name quarterbacks. I I think anyone here in Utah will recognize the names, Zach Wilson, Jackson Dart, and you've made some you've helped create a path for some of these athletes to make it to the next level, um, not just college, but beyond, right? So let's talk about the mindset that you found in these athletes. What is it that what is it that creates an athlete like that? Or what is it that you found in those athletes that that drove them?

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah. Um especially from a mental aspect.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Like just so driven and competitive. Like that's probably the thing that set Jackson apart so much compared to like most of the people I've coached, is he's just such a competitive kid in everything that he does. Like it's a pickleball. It's it's like just an inside run drill. Like he just he's a competitive sucker, and and that will overrides probably a lot of the other parts, like we've talked about, like some of the confidence part, maybe some of the uneasiness part, maybe a little bit of nervousness, the pressure to succeed. Like, I think some guys are so driven from a competitive standpoint that they always want to win, and like they'll they'll make that happen more times than not. That's what drives them. Some of those other things kind of fall back, and they don't maybe play in their head as much as they is some other athletes do, which frees them, right? To perform. And I felt like that was that was something that was special about him for sure.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Let me ask you, okay, so you have a lot of these, you you coach a lot of these really big star athletes who made really big impacts on your program. But that also adds a lot of extra pressure to maybe some kids who aren't built to sustain that pressure.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

No doubt.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

How would you help those kids navigate it? Because not everyone can perform at that level and have that spotlight on them all the time. So, how would you help keep everybody on the same playing field?

SPEAKER_00 15:04

I think you try to celebrate like the good things they did just as much as the other big time kid. Like maybe it's a PR in the weight room or it's a PR on the track, like in the hundred, you know, hey, I you went from running 1205 to 1193, and you were excited to break 12, like you celebrate the heck out of that and get excited for them and try to make them feel like their contributions to the team no matter what, like versus this the the big time kid to the lower kid, you try to find a way to connect to them at a level where they feel like they're valued in what you're doing in your operations as a team.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Yeah, that's great. Um tell me, you I know you had a love for Corner Canyon and and these kids, and a lot of people saw publicly what you did on the at the field. But was there anything that really kind of stood out to you as a coach off the field that you take away from Corner Canyon that really meant something to you? Yeah. Like something as a program that you guys did um that maybe the public didn't see.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Yeah. The there was um there's a lot like that I took from from being there, but one of them was just the the kids there off the field, and even just the kids I taught in classes are just really, really good kids and like almost refreshing and like energizing to be around because of the way they approach stuff. You hear things all the time about like the youth and like how they're not as good as what they were before, and and they they you know, selfish or whatever. They're not though. Like you get into it and you're around them, and it's like refreshing, like how much they care about people and each other, and and they want to help. Like we did tons of service projects and feeding the homeless and going downtown to the um Salt Lake Mission and feeding, like, and they were always willing to step up and do that. Like it wasn't hard ever that way, and you you just saw the way they reacted to things like that. Just it's refreshing. Like it's being around kids like that to go to work every day. And like they it energizes you as a human being and as like a person to see kids like be that way, and you feel good about like where things are going in the future with that. I I don't view it as what a lot of people view it with the youth. I think they're incredible and and really powerful, and they're overcoming and dealing with so many other challenges that we never dealt with.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Well, and speaking of that, okay, so they do have the pressure of not only performing on the field, the court, wherever it is, but they've got the school pressure and they've got family pressure and all these other things building on top of them. Was there ever a kid to you that stood out that maybe, you know, not necessarily the spotlight kid that we know about, but a kid who maybe stood out to you and and and inspired you personally that you can tell us about?

SPEAKER_00 17:51

No doubt. Yeah, Matt Sharp um wasn't like the superstar at all. Uh was a scout team player his whole career. Never really, he didn't get any accolades at all. Like he he he didn't um and and really socially it was kind of super quiet and not popular. And he he was uh like his process of how he operated in our program for four years without getting any of that was incredible. Like he didn't miss lifting days. We lifted at 6 a.m. He didn't miss track days, like he ran track, and he I know for a fact he did not like track, like his shins were always killing him. Um but his process, the way he showed up, he would practice hard all the time. Like that stuff's refreshing because a lot of kids they get that external reward. Um and you know, he's since like got his degree um at UVU and he's in the workforce, he lives like about a block away from where I do, and I get to see his parents, but it's pretty special like to see how he operated. Yeah, and I would I told people like all the time, like I you never try to like say this is my crowning achievement as a coach, but we got him down, like I mean, he ran so bad kind of when we first started having him. I'm sure he'll love hearing that. Yeah, and he'll know it too. I've I've told him I because I've joked around with him quite a bit. He he ran like an 11-9, like one, yeah, his senior year, which is pretty fast, like for anybody. Like, I mean, it's not like a 10, yeah. But from him to be where he was at to that accomplishment, I've told people like that's might be my crowning achievement is a high school coach in general. Like the fact that we could get him to that point was special, and he's a he's a great young man, like just fun.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

That's I love to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Super quiet though, like you can't get him to talk, like he was so funny. But yeah, but I love to hear that.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

I love to hear you know, somebody who was coached some of the really big famous athletes say that it it wasn't, you know, that there are some other kids who really made an impact that maybe you didn't hear about. Yeah, and that you could be that kid making that impact on a coach or another player. You don't have to be the flashy one on the play.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

And he did like if you watched like how he did stuff, like it was remarkable, like just the way he went about it. We called him Money Matt. He was great. Money Matt.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Shout out to Money Matt Sharp. I love that. Uh coach, for teens who are feeling that pressure, you know, maybe they are in a program that is super successful, maybe they're in a program that is not, and they're feeling the pressure to try to achieve something. What do you what do you say to that teen who is looking for some guidance on on how to do that, how to handle that pressure and how to build something better?

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Yeah. The pr the pressure really um it's good. It'll motivate you too, but to not you like and I talked about a little bit for myself earlier, you can't let it um be insurmountable or be what like if you let it get to you to a point and it's it's holding you back, you have to find different ways to to uh motivate yourself, but also maybe to cope with that. Um, and there's a lot of great people that can help with that. That's the sports psychology people, the field that field's grown and they're awesome. Um but like really if they can just get up and show up every day and work their butt off, it's really that simple sometimes for athletes. Like if you can just get up and keep showing up every day and work your butt off when you get there and be present, you'll make like huge leaps and bounds improvements uh throughout your career, especially at that age. Like they can develop so much athletically and from a skill standpoint at the high school level, they'll they'll never improve more than they will during those four years if they do it right. But it's almost like if they can make it as simple as like, I'm gonna get out of bed, I'm gonna go show up, I'm gonna go work. Um, which sounds simple, it's a hard time. To do right, it's hard for even people, um, like as adults, right? Sometimes now, like I've I'll be honest, like, there's times I don't want to get up and go to work, I don't want to get up and go do stuff. And um, if you can just do that at times and make it as simple as that and just keep showing up and work hard, and your coach will see that. Like, be the kid that's there every day, and be the kid that's there on time every day, and then uh puts a ton of effort into whatever workout they're doing. It could be a strength training um session for an hour and a half, and then it might be, you know, maybe it's a track session later, an hour and a half, and be engaged like in that while you're there.

unknown 22:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Be the money mat.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Yeah, be the money mat. Be the money money. It makes a big difference. Yeah, show up. It'll help.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Even this morning, I I heard on um the Jefferson Fisher podcast, he had a Dr. Um Shade Zahari on, and and she wrote this book where she did this research. It said 95% of people have self-doubt. 95% of people out there are self-doubting every single day.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

And the thing that did that separates people who are successful is how you detach from that self-doubt. And what I hear from you putting that into it is if you just show up to start, you can build.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

It'll come, it'll it'll like you'll get rid of that. And it's always there. I have it all the time.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Like it's for me, like You coach, you self-doubt. No, I do. I don't see that.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

And I'll tell our players, like like you, I because I know they do too. Like, sure, that statistic's gotta be like, I'm surprised it's not higher than that because I think everybody has it. Um, and there's uh how's it Wilma Rudolph that was a track athlete that was phenomenal. But she talks about the power of self-belief and how that drove her. And like if if you don't believe in yourself, yeah, um, who's going to? Like, really, yeah, you have to start there for sure.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

I always tell myself, you've got to believe that you bring value to any room that you go into. Yeah, that room is better because you're in it. You're in it, yeah. I love it. That field is better because you're on it, whatever capacity that is, whether that is you cheering on your teammate, on the teammate on the bench, whether that is you, you know, contributing on the field, regardless, you being there makes that a better situation.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

And so that's what I am always even in this situation, you know, hosting a podcast. Yeah, I have to believe that this is better because I'm here. I love it. You know what I mean? So there's my two cents, everybody. There's my two cents on the table.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Well, and I think some of that, like people shy away from because they don't want to come off as maybe arrogant or cocky, but you have to have like some of that in yourself as a person. Like, I love the way you said that. Like, I'm bringing value into whatever I'm doing. That's awesome. I'm gonna take that.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Oh, thanks. Well, let me ask you this: what is how do you define leadership? I mean, you are constantly looking for leaders to build a team to lead, especially now at the college level. Um, that's a lot of players to manage. What is it that is a leader to you? How do you define that?

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Yeah. I think one of the biggest things that you can do, like I think there's some check marks you have to have or some points that you're hitting. Like, I think you have to not always be perfect, but you have to be one of the ones that's willing to be like really, really good in the process. Maybe you're like you're there for lifting, but you get after it like in the lifting sessions and you're working your butt off there and you're doing a great job in the classroom when I'm talking like college football, or when we go run, you're one of the ones that's always bringing great effort into that part of it. But then probably once you hit those marks and you're like on your game and you're doing things right within the program, serving others, I think, is one of the biggest things and be willing to do things that aren't above you ever. Like the nothing should be um really beneath you to do. You have to do all the little things too. And some of that might just be talking to a teammate or encouraging them or cleaning up or going and do some small task that maybe certain people would think that they're above, but you're net you never are. Like any little thing, even doing that as like a head coach, um, being willing to serve your athletes and your other coaches in a way that like no nothing's you know too small for you to do as a person, I think's empowering as a leader. And I think sometimes leaders miss that part um where they feel like they might be above and beyond some of those things.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Sometimes it's just the little things. Yeah, it is coaches notice it.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

It is, it's huge. Yeah, and for your players to to empower them in that part of it, I think is really it's because kids get that way a little bit too. And if you can encourage them to not and to really kind of just serve their teammates and the people around them, it people love that. Like it's it's that touches them in a different way for sure.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

Well, coach, I hope that you don't mind me asking. I know I I want to talk a little bit about fear, um, and just you know, when things hit you that maybe put you in a space you didn't expect to be in. You were diagnosed with MS. How old were you? What age were you early in your coaching career?

SPEAKER_00 27:18

I always ask my wife this because she remembers about I think I was 30 or 31.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

That's I mean that and at the beginning, really kind of at the beginning of your coaching career at Jordan at the time.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Yeah, I had been a head coach just barely. I had just been made a head coach.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

This diagnosis that you know can lead to some really difficult um things in your future. What tell me about the what comes into your thoughts at that time and and how you handled that?

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Yeah. It was um it was scary, like at first. Um I'll share this a little bit. It was uh hopefully I won't get emotional, but I was I was talking to my brother, my oldest brother Norman, um, who's like the biggest football fan. Like he's he'll drive up. He lives in Cedar City, he drives up for all of our games. He's really into it.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

We love Norman.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

He's great. He's even been thrown out of a game before we're kind of getting a little too excited about that. Yeah. But he like broke down in tears when I told him. And I don't know if I was just a little unassuming and just like, I'll be fine. Like, this is no big deal. Like, I can I can handle this. But it almost scared me just like a little bit, like because I was like, Yeah, this is maybe a little more serious than I thought. I just I've I've always kind of had this like I'm just gonna take it and go, like with challenges, and and there's times that I've for sure like get overwhelmed, but I've felt like if I just move forward, like I can do almost anything. Um, but it almost made me think and reflect a little bit, kind of scared me. Like, oh yeah, this is a little bit serious. But also like him and like my other brothers and my sister and my mom, like just their like support and my wife and their like my kids and stuff like that, like seeing them, like I'm gonna I'm gonna be here for them, especially my kids and my wife. Like, I'm gonna figure out a way to like just progress and move forward. And again, I've been lucky too. Like medications for multiple sclerosis and the advancements they've made are so much better now than they were when I even when I was first diagnosed, the medications I'm on now versus them are 10 times better. And so that part, the medical advancement, just truly being grateful for that and the opportunities that they've they've been able to give me. And then also there's it's so varying in the type of uh what you get. Like my mind doesn't seem to be as debilitating as it is for others, so I feel lucky in that too.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Um did you have to prioritize mental health at that moment?

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yes, oh yeah, and you know what, I I kind of was a little lucky. I'd I had had a uh when I say lucky, it's it's um not lucky, but I I had struggled. I kind of hit a low point about a year before that from a mental health standpoint, where it kind of hit rock bottom. And the pain that I was in from a mental health standpoint, um and from an anxiety standpoint, I had never felt before in my life. I had had major injuries and torn Achilles and Liz Franc feet and all kinds of stuff like that. But that pain that I felt there from what I was going through from a mental health standpoint, it kind of uh put me at like rock bottom. Uh how did you climb out?

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Or what did you do? What did you do to help you get to a point where you felt you could move forward?

SPEAKER_00 30:45

I talked to my wife. Like that was probably the biggest thing. Like her help, like support changed the game for me. I was at a point like where I was, you know, you you have suicidal thoughts and and ideation and things like that, and I hadn't said anything. And my dad had died by suicide when I was 19. Um, but I was afraid I didn't want to be that, and I didn't want that to happen to me, so I reached out and got help, which really I should have done sooner. It had gone on for like a little while. Um, and I had those like my young kids, and I was like looking at them, and I knew I didn't want to let this get me or like be something that um you know changed my life or their life forever from making a bad decision. So reached out to her and then she got me going like in the right spot and just improved and changed, and it really from dealing with that put me in a better space when I was diagnosed with MS. I think that's probably one of the bigger things, and we've talked about that. My wife and I have like that was a blessing, really, even though um you don't maybe look at that because that that pain is different like than any other pain I've had, but it it was a game changer for me and really gave me some tools to better, I think, deal with the MS situation and and improve from there. I felt like I got better, and sometimes that is how when you get adversity, you're always gonna try to improve and hopefully make you stronger from it. And it did.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

How does that impact your life today? Not only uh physically, but just mentally. How do you how do you use it to empower you?

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Um like just the challenges that you get now, they're always still there. Um, and knowing, using that like, hey, I've overcome this, or I've over I've been able to overcome that. Like I've I've met some of these harder times in my life, um, and these harder challenges I've been able to overcome. And I know I can overcome things that that come at me like that, but I do have to remember how I did it and the ways I did it, and reaching out and talking, um, sharing things that are bugging me. Um, my wife's like my therapist pretty much, but like sharing those with her um so she knows, and like, hey, I'm struggling with this, like, and nobody knows, I'm sure. Like, or hey, I have this going on, and and she'll like we'll talk about it at different times. Like, she'll ask me the next day, and like just being able to do some of that, and then continuing the exercise has been big for me, um, still with like some of the meditation and this uh the self-talk um strategies that are out there and uh are are have helped a ton. Like if I've worked through from that part to overcome because you have to have those coping mechanisms and those tools in your tool belt as you're battling mental health and just the different parts that come with it. And it's like anything else you do, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

I appreciate you sharing that because I think uh kids don't often hear their coaches, you know, express that they've struggled to.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

You know, there's moments. You have seasons, right? You have just like a football season, you you have seasons of life where it's not always pretty. Yep, you know, but you you seek the help and if you can and you can put the tools into action, there's there's something on the other side. No doubt. Usually it's better it's a lot better.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Yeah, that the hope that it will get better, I think super if people can remember that. Yeah, like there's you're gonna have the tough times, but you're you can always get better. Things are gonna improve. So I love that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

Well, coach, if there's an athlete or a coach, or just anyone out there listening right now, doubting themselves, comparing themselves, um, or just feeling, you know, like that they're they're not enough, what would you say directly to that person after this conversation that we've had today? What what would be your your last, you know, kind of statement to them that you would like them to take away from this conversation?

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yeah, build that belief in yourself. Um, and it can start small, accomplishing tasks and and doing them in the right way. It could be something really, really small. Like I've heard people talk about like get up and make your bed just because at least that's one thing that you did and accomplished that day, and then work off from there. Maybe it's a workout, maybe it's a homework assignment, maybe it's you know, helping someone else, like just accomplish tasks that you feel good about and build confidence off, and then you keep building off of that. And then those tasks, you know, you just before you know it, you're you know, playing at a high level of whatever sport you're in, and and you have some tools that you know combat some of those hard parts, like, oh, like you know, I now I've gotten to this point and I have you know some a little bit of self-doubt, you know, accomplish something small and then build off that and and build that self-belief in yourself. And you know, like you you want this, like that's why you started playing, and sometimes remembering that too, like make it fun, also too. I think is something we've forgotten about a little bit with the high pressure part of sports. But I think just building things, finding you know, small successes sometimes, um, even though you might be struggling in other ways, like it is really important to kind of build that up. So if kids can do that for sure.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you being candid and telling us about your experiences and and what has mattered to you throughout this process. And honestly, best of luck at Weaver State. Yeah, appreciate it. I'm excited to see what you do with the Wildcats.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

I'm excited. Yeah, I can't wait for the season to get rolling, but I appreciate you having me on. Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 36:07

Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Thanks for joining us on the Stanford Kind podcast. You can learn more about StanforKind on our website, standforkind.com. You can also follow us on Instagram, Facebook, X, and TikTok. We also hope that you'll subscribe and share the show with your friends and family. We'll see you next time.