Stand4Kind Podcast

The Courage to Be Seen: Jason Dunnigan on Confidence and Authenticity

Shara Park Episode 5

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0:00 | 27:43

Shara Park sits down with Jason Dunnigan, known to millions online as The Modern Dad. Jason has built a platform by doing something many people are afraid to do: showing up authentically and unapologetically as himself.

From overcoming embarrassment and self-doubt to learning how to celebrate his own progress, Jason shares the lessons he's learned about confidence, self-care, and personal growth. He explains why talking kindly to yourself matters, how small daily habits can transform the way you see yourself, and why being present and encouraging as a parent can shape a child's confidence for life.

Filled with humor, honesty, and practical advice, this conversation is a powerful reminder that confidence isn't about perfection—it's about embracing who you are and having the courage to let the world see it.

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SPEAKER_01

Confidence is something everyone wants, but very few people actually know how to build. Today's guest on the Stand for Kind podcast, Jason Dunegan, known online as the Modern Dad, has built a platform by doing something most people are too afraid to do: fully be himself. Jason embodies every side of parenting: the traditional, the non-traditional, the messy, the fun, the emotional, and he owns it unapologetically. Whether he's taking voice lessons in his 40s, sharing his fitness journey online, cleaning the house, shopping with confidence, or simply showing up as a deeply present father, Jason reminds people that confidence isn't about perfection, it's about authenticity. Today we're talking about how to find that confidence, nurture it, and stop being afraid to be seen. Welcome into the Stand for Kind Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. Our goal is to share stories of hope and inspiration and to connect with you and hopefully guide you in maybe an area that you need help in your life. And that's why today I have Jason Dennigan. He is here with us today in the Stanford Kind podcast. Did you like that intro?

SPEAKER_00

That was something.

SPEAKER_01

You're like, I'll lie. She lied. Yeah. I do not like you are all those things, Jason.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, you're so nice.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you for being here. I, first of all, I was thinking of this topic of confidence, and you were the first person that popped in my mind because when I see you online as the modern dad, you do, you exude this confidence. So tell me, Jason, who are you? We are the modern dad here, but who is Jason?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I I mean, I grew up in Utah, lived here my whole life. Well, I grew, I lived in California for like eight years, but basically lived out here my whole life. Um, four kids. Um, I always just thought like growing up, dad was there. Dad went to work, he did his things. Um, but then that was it, right? He'd come home and that was his day. Yeah. And I just always thought, like, there's, I just want more. I want to be more active in my kids' lives. When I have kids, I want to be a part of everything. I want to be at their dance recitals, I want to be at their games, I want to cheer them on for everything. Take them shopping, do their hair, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01

And you're good at hair.

SPEAKER_00

Well, let's not get crazy. I tried my best. But that's just what I always thought that I would want. And so as I started having kids, I thought, well, let's let's do this.

SPEAKER_01

And so you and you ended up putting it out there for everyone to see, and we'll get into that here in just a minute. Uh, should we tell people? We actually know each other.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

We went to junior high together. We did. We are both valley ligers.

SPEAKER_00

We sure were.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we were, and we own it. We do not very many people can say they were a liger.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

And what is a liger?

SPEAKER_00

It's a lion and a tiger.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_00

Shasta at Hogel Zoo was our mascot.

SPEAKER_01

That's so true. I forgot the name of it. Yeah. Shasta. That's so funny. So, yes, we are. And I will tell you, um, Jason was so uh sweet to me. One time I was on a parade flow up in Bountiful, and I knew Jason as the modern dad because I blocked out my junior high years.

SPEAKER_00

Same.

SPEAKER_01

And I was like, oh, there's the modern dad. Modern dad. I'm waving to him. I'm like, hey, hey, hey. And he's like, Sarah, we went to school together. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed.

SPEAKER_00

So it's great.

SPEAKER_01

I blocked those years.

SPEAKER_00

We I think everyone forgets junior high years. Like they're the worst.

SPEAKER_01

The worst. Okay, so Jason, today I asked you to come talk to us about this confidence that I see online. You have this inner energy that just immediately makes people feel comfortable. Have you always had that energy? Where does it come from?

SPEAKER_00

When you sent these questions, it blew my mind because But I think of you this way? Totally. Like I would never think of me as this like confident person.

SPEAKER_01

Have you met you?

SPEAKER_00

Right. But it's just like I just there was finally a time where I was just like, I don't care what people think, what they say. This is me. This is what it is. If you like it, great. If you don't like it, that's great too. Not everyone's gonna like you.

SPEAKER_01

And so Okay, but we're gonna get down to the root of where that came from because not everyone has that. That's that is something very special to have. So, okay, you you decide you're gonna be this really present father, and yet you turn it online for people to see. Was that a conscious choice? Was it just the kind of the sign of the times people were doing that? Or how did you how did you start to put that out there?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so it wasn't. A lot of people online were women, they were mom bloggers.

SPEAKER_01

There were no men doing what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00

There were no men. And any men that had a big following is because their wives had bigger following.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So the wife had a big following, and so then people would follow their husband to be like, well, I want to see what they're doing too.

SPEAKER_01

And do they approve of what the wife's doing?

SPEAKER_00

Right, right. And so I was doing it just because I've always been one to be on camera and I like some would say I like attention, but I just it just became kind of natural, and I just started showing myself more. Um, like once stories became a thing, I would be on there and then I'd get messages from people that were like, Well, you're kind of funny, and this is like this is kind of fun to be around. And I was like, Oh, okay. So I always just thought, like, if I can just make one person smile every single day or make one person's life a little better, then great. That's all I care about. And so that's where it kind of started and happened, like formulating.

SPEAKER_01

Well, let me ask you this. What do you think people misunderstand about confidence and where it comes from?

SPEAKER_00

Sure, I think definitely you think people will think cocky. Like that's where I'm like people called me that a lot growing up.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And I would say, no, it's confidence.

SPEAKER_00

Right. You're just, it's you're confident, but you're not doing it with the like you said, you said all these things, and I'm like, that is not me. And that's where I think I I guess I'm confident. Like it's still hard to think of, but it's they are doing these things without the intention of like, oh yeah, I really am so great. I am amazing. I do all the things. It's like, no, it's just natural in what they do.

SPEAKER_01

Let's talk about uh authenticity. Um, when you're online, I feel like you're the same Jason that is in person, right? Like you it transfers so seamlessly.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So how how do you do that? Or how is that has it has that been hard to do that?

SPEAKER_00

Not for me. I just always thought, like, why would I want to be somebody different online than what I am in person? So if you saw me and you came up to me, I'd want you to have kind of the same experience of what you're seeing online every day. Um, sure, there's times where people come up and I'm like, I don't know who you are, I don't know what's going on. Like, it's a lot. Um, but I think it's just always thinking, well, they know everything, so I'm just gonna be like they think we're friends, so I'm gonna treat them like they're my friend.

SPEAKER_01

How did you get comfortable? How uh was there ever a point where you weren't comfortable, like kind of being yourself out there?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. I mean, there's lots of things where I would get ridiculed for things I do of like that I love shopping and I like to clean. And it's well, those aren't nor though, that's not normal.

SPEAKER_01

Normal in the sense of that's not like men don't do that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, men don't like cleaning, men don't like to do their daughter's hair, men do not like shopping. And I was like, okay, that sucks for them. Like, but I do great. They like golfing, they like hunting, they like sports. Not everyone has to like the same thing to be in a certain group. But I think for years we've always just grouped people into whatever it is we think they are, and so people still have a hard time of being like, Well, you like these things, so there's no way you could be this, you there's gotta be a label to it. I'm like, what why? Okay. It's just to me, I'm just a dad that likes to these are the things that I like, and they just make me happy.

SPEAKER_01

So, how would you, Jason, deal with that kind of criticism? Because I think we can all take so much, right? Um but but but the truth is we do we do sometimes read the comments and we we do second guess, well, should I have done that? Or or or am I really viewed that way?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

How have you dealt with those comments and not let them penetrate?

SPEAKER_00

For sure. So there were years that it was just like, I mean, even before Instagram, I'd get the same comments, and it was just like, okay, that why would anyone think those things? Why would anyone think that about me? I'm not that type of person that's not me. Um and finally it just had to be like, they don't know me. They just know me from what they're seeing and what they're assuming. Or a lot of the times the comments are from people that don't follow you, they know nothing about you, and they they're just unhappy people, and they just like to radiate that online and say whatever they want with no repercussion because if you say something back, then suddenly you're the bad guy. Um, so I just learned to they're just they're not happy people, and they're not in a place where they're doing well, and so I always think like, great, I mean, I'd feel bad for them in whatever they're going through, but I'm still gonna be me, I'm still gonna do what I want to do, and I know myself and I know my family, and those are the things that matter the most to me.

SPEAKER_01

Was there ever a specific moment in your journey up till now where you thought, you know, I don't want to spend my life worried about what other people think? Was there ever like a defining moment for you where it just clicked?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I had served an LDS mission. Um when I got home, um, there were a lot of things being said about me. And I remember some kids were doorbell ditching our house. And so I hopped my fence, I snuck over, and I could hear them outside talking, and I could hear the things they were saying. And I was like, I'm so sick of people making these like wild assumptions, these total lies about me. And I decided to take all my stuff and I moved to California, where I mean, granted, I had served a mission there, but I went somewhere where nobody knew me, no one knew anything about me. And that's where I said to myself, I'm just gonna be myself. I'm gonna be me. And if people like me, they like no one knows me, no one has any assumptions about me, and I'm gonna go to school and I'm just gonna live my life how I want to be. And I was out there for six years where I really was able to figure out like who I am and what I like to do, and that if people didn't like it, great, they didn't like it. We didn't have to be friends.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Removing yourself from that situation gave you a fresh start.

SPEAKER_00

Totally. And then I came back and sure there were still people, but I was like, okay, that's what you think, great, that's what you think. Like, think whatever you want, but it's not true, but hopefully you'll give me a chance. And if you don't, that's fine too.

SPEAKER_01

I I'm gonna blaze my own path anyway. Yeah. I I love that. Okay, I I'm curious. Um, like I said, a lot of people watch you online and they they see your life and and raising your kids and your beautiful wife. And um, was there ever anything or uh something that you were really insecure about um that maybe you hesitated to share? And and what what did you do? How did you navigate it?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, sure. So one thing that I love to do is I love to sing. I love singing. Yeah, it's so dumb.

SPEAKER_01

You got an incredible voice, you've got this raspiness. I love it.

SPEAKER_00

So I I love doing it, but what I have done to kind of get people like, oh well, that's fun, is I do lip sync videos and I would do some where people would be like, okay, you're really good. And I'm like, yes, that's not me. That's why it's really good. Um but then I decided to get out of my comfort zone. I would start taking voice lessons because I I love doing it, but for me, I just wanted to get better for me, not for anyone else, not for anything. And so I wanted to do something that specific time set apart every single week that I could do for myself that's bettering myself.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And how did you get past the fear of it though? Because I think a lot of people we all have something maybe we want to try, we want to hobby, we want to do, and but there's always that little fear that holds us back. And when you're talking about voice lessons, you're talking about voice lessons with like kids, and you're on a stage performing in little recitals and things like that.

SPEAKER_00

I know.

SPEAKER_01

And there you are up on stage. There I am, and it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's amazing. Highly edited.

SPEAKER_01

No stop. Okay, so how did you get over the fear?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think it was the multiple messages from people saying, like, I love that you're doing this. This has inspired me to do fill in the blank piano lessons. I started going back and doing tennis. Um, it was just being that example for people to see, like, no, it's okay to do things that we've always wanted to. Like, I took voice lessons when I was younger. And so it wasn't like a weird thing to go back into, but it was definitely a little hard to start sharing it because I would share as I was going and people be like, well, we want to hear you. And so then I do another lip sync video, and they're like, Okay, hello. And I'm like, Yeah, you suckers. But then I would do like teasers of me like finishing, and then finally I did one of my first recital, and people were just like, uh, we need more of this. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_01

That's fantastic. Tell me about the first time you got up on stage, or was it in church to actually perform and sing? Were you were you scared? Were you?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, you know me. I'm fine with a crowd, like I can get in front of a crowd, no problem. But for some reason, when it's singing, I just like I'll get a little nervous. But the first time I had the song, it was totally fine. And I got up there and I was just like, let's do it. Like, I'm here to perform, and I will put that on, and I'm ready to rock your people's world. And that's what happened, I guess. Did you feel great? It felt so good. And to me, the biggest thing was my kids were there, and for them to see me do something and get in front of people and just have that confidence and like, hey, I'm 44 and I can do this. You could do it, whatever. I come to your games and I cheer for you. Like, sometimes we have bad times. Like, I performed one and I forgot the words. And I said, I'm an adult and I messed up, and it's okay. And for me, it's been the greatest to be able to teach my kids these lessons that they can do hard things, they can push themselves, and they can try things that maybe would be a little out of their comfort zone and just see how they like it. And maybe it'll better themselves, and maybe we can try something else.

SPEAKER_01

I love that message. You know, I even as a parent, sometimes I feel I find myself continuing to push my kid in the same thing over and over again. When the reality is I should be letting them try all kinds of things, totally experience life in all different ways. You know, who am I to say you can only do one thing?

SPEAKER_00

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, I love that. I love that, Jason.

SPEAKER_00

And it's funny too with that, because a lot of the times we do the one thing because time, right? We're like, I have to drive you everywhere. I have to do all these things. If I sign you up for more, I'm putting more on my place.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

But at the end of the day, like it's just gonna help them be more well-rounded. Yeah, know what they really love.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Um, okay, tell me about a time that you completely embarrassed yourself. I warned you I was gonna ask you this question. Is there a time that you completely embarrassed yourself? I mean, and what did you do to overcome or to have the confidence to push through it or come out of it?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, there's many. I would probably say the biggest one, um, and it's on the internet, it's called Mr. Westminster 2011.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

I will do anything to win a competition. Anything. So there was this competition that I was nominated for. I went to Westminster College, and I was in class, I made it in the top 12, um, and I was in class, and I just was like, so I'm in this pageant. I gotta do a talent. Oh no, like I'm not talented, and people do like funny stuff. And I was like, what if I did the single ladies dance? Oh fiance. Like, what if? So that week I put on YouTube, I learned the dance, I went and got a custom-made leotard, I went into Target the day of, I went in the shoe section and I was pulling out heels, and I saw a mom pushing her kid in a stroller, and I said, Which one of these is a five-inch and a three-inch? I said, Which one of these is easier to dance in? She goes, Well, who's it for? And I was like, Well, me. And she goes, uh, the three-inch. So I got three-inch heels and I danced the single ladies in front of the entire school. But it was like, I remember walking out on stage in that leotard, and my dad was on the second row and his mouth just dropping and me being like, crap. And then instantly I was just like, Well, I'm gonna win because the crowd went wild.

SPEAKER_01

I'm sure they did.

SPEAKER_00

But it's just that it's that instant feeling of like kind of embarrassment and like, what am I doing?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

To instantly just flip it to be like, no, that I'm doing this. I will win this, and I will do anything to win.

SPEAKER_01

I love that so much. I just is there video of it somewhere. There sure is. He says online. Okay, we're gonna probably want to find that so bad. Jason, I love that story. Um, have you ever was there ever a time you felt like you needed to be more polished? I know there is a lot of pressure online. Um, you know, people make their living online. And was there ever that pressure for you to feel like you had to be something more or more polished or something else?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think um at first you'd see other creators and influencers just very perfect. Everything was very clean. Um, their whole feed was just a certain aesthetic to it. Right. And to me, that was never me. I just am like fly by the seat of my pants. I'll just do it and let's just see what happens. And so it's probably one of the reasons why it took me a long time to grow.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But at the same time, I was like, this is me. Like, I do it all, I edit all my stuff. I don't have like a team of people. And so the like I am a perfectionist, but when it came to that, I was like, no, I'm just gonna give you what's really happening. Yeah. And so I don't necessarily share everything, but I do share like, no, this is life. This is what's going on. And I felt I think it was more relatable to people.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I feel like a lot uh that's what's winning today, anyway. Yeah, totally. I mean, you are very smart in this business world in social media and marketing. What are you seeing out there today that is successful? Is it it's gotta be that authenticity.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And it's like that's the thing. If people don't trust you, if people don't see you as an authentic person, they're not gonna buy the things you're talking about, they're not gonna trust your opinion on things. And so that's always been my thing. I've always wanted to be trustworthy and loyal, and you could see that like I use the same stuff every single day. I talk about the same stuff all the time because I genuinely love it. And so that's what people know. They know that, like, hey, if you need a code for this, if you want like I have it because I'm always talking about it. And not because like it's a job, which it is, but it's no, this is really what I love and this is what I enjoy. And so if you like it, here you go.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I want to circle back to this thought of confidence. And you know, as a father, we've got these young kids, they're so cute. I see them on your feed, and uh, they're growing up and they're they're seeing the work that you do and your uh you and your wife do. How do you teach them this confidence? Um is it is it a step-by-step approach? Um what is it that you do with them as a father?

SPEAKER_00

I think it's so hard because every single child is different, right? So, like my boys, they love sports. Love, and I know nothing about sports. But I know nothing. But I like I'll do any, I'll be at all their stuff, yeah, and I let them know every single time they do, I'm like, that was so awesome what you did. Like, I make sure I I call out the things that they're doing. Oh my gosh, that touchdown you got, that three-pointer you drained from behind the three-point line. Like, how did you do that? That was incredible.

SPEAKER_01

You don't, I mean, you don't have to know what it is that we're talking about. It's it's it's just taking action in something.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And it's making sure that I'm there and they hear me cheering for them, or my girls at their dance recitals, me being there and like, oh my gosh, that was phenomenal. Like you were the star of the show. Just it's building that confidence by just talking to them and just letting them know, like, hey, you did great. You did awesome. Your singing performance, that was so awesome what you did. I've loved listening to you sing in the basement, practicing. And now to see you on the stage lit up was so amazing. And I think by saying those things to our kids at such a young age, that's how we build their confidence up.

SPEAKER_01

That's great parenting advice. I appreciate that. Okay, Jason, uh, you know. I'm putting you here as the expert in this because again, I think that you are you exude this, but if I'm a person at home and I just really struggle and I want that, I want to feel that confidence. Is there one thing I could do today that you would recommend that maybe helped you to build that confidence? Just even even if it's just small?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think um, I mean, for me, it was definitely like overtime, right? This wasn't like I've always had it. That is a hard no. But over time, I think it's just been little things. Like, as far as looks, I make sure I'm exercising every day. I'm making sure that I'm eating better. I'm not eating perfect, but I'm working on it every single day. I'm looking at myself and I'm saying nice things about myself. I'm not being cocky about it, being like, okay, you are looking so good. But it's just look and be like, wow, you you really did a good job on your hair today. Or wow, your smile's looking good. Just like actually saying the things to yourself. Do you say it out loud? Totally. I'll be in the bathroom and I'll be looking and I'm like, wow, I guess working out has kind of been helping. Or wow, the spray tan really went on nice this time. Like it's it's really saying those things because when you hear, when someone says something nice about you, you feel so good. When you say something nice about yourself, when you actually say it, it same thing. You feel good. Yeah, but it's over time. It wasn't all of a sudden I'm saying these things, and I'm like, well, wow, I'm just phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01

You just show up one day. Holy moly. Holy moly, I'm so good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Jason, if uh somebody listening to this conversation today uh wants to just take one message away from this, what would your message be to them about confidence?

SPEAKER_00

I think that it's such an important thing for everyone to have that we all have that confidence because with confidence comes kindness. It's we're kinder to people and people like accept it more because you have that confident look and feeling about you. If someone that's confident comes up to me and says something nice, suddenly that is like, oh my gosh, that was the greatest. And so if we all could have that and just be kinder to people, I think this place would be so much better.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. How has kindness changed your life?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I mean tons. I think whenever somebody's kind, no matter what it is, small or big, it's just made a huge impact. And I think just doing something for someone else, it really the pay it forward is the greatest thing. Because when you've had something done for you, you know that feeling. And so I'm always just trying to do something, whether I'm going through a drive-thru and hey, get the order behind me. I don't care how much it is, just pay for that. Or getting a drink for the teachers at the school and just randomly showing up with stuff. I think all these little things really make a big difference.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. I love that. Jason, I'm gonna ask for one actionable thing from you today. Uh oh. Give us one actionable thing to build our confidence today.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I think saying something nice either about yourself or others every single day. Just something. Whether it's like, man, I really look good in this outfit. Or man, my makeup went on flawless because I don't do it good every time. Or maybe, like, for example, today I did my daughter's hair, and when I looked at it, I was like, wow, I I really did do a good job today. Where most of the time I'm like, yeah, that wasn't very good. Like we cut ourselves down, and I think if we could just try to cut ourselves down less and build ourselves up, it's just little things.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. I love that. And and not only you saying it to yourself, but those around you who hear that are just going to even there it emulates, right? It's going to ripple effect out. For sure. Your kids are gonna feel that, your your spouse is gonna feel that. The people around you are gonna feel that, and that confidence is gonna just continue to to move out. Right. I love that. Jason, thank you for being here. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. I know you are you've got a be kind mission, and um you're online. Tell people where they can follow you and and what you're trying to do right now with your life.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I'm everywhere you want to go. It's the modern dad, usually underscores. Um, but TikTok, Instagram, I got the website, I got it all.

SPEAKER_01

So And he's doing everything. He's trying food, he's shopping. He's got you just got this new sweater, by the way, which looks fabulous on him. I love it. I get some of my recommendations from you. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. But he's doing everything, and you inspire me because you taking voice lessons is honestly is what inspired me to think I want what is a hobby that I've put off or I've wanted to do that I can now do that my kids are getting older because we've focused on them for so long. So totally it's made me think like, what is it that I want to be accomplished in? And what is it that I want to have pride in? It's it's made me think about it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like it's 30 minutes a week. I can't sing. That's it.

SPEAKER_01

I I can't sing, but I I'm gonna find something. We'll find something. I'm not sure, but Jason, thank you for being here. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01

Thanks for joining us on the Stanford Kind podcast. You can learn more about StanfordKind on our website, standforkind.com. You can also follow us on Instagram, Facebook, X, and TikTok. We also hope that you'll subscribe and share the show with your friends and family. We'll see you next time.