Leah: The Woman Who Was Chosen… But Not Loved

What happens when you're chosen... but still feel unwanted?

In Episode 6 of Between The Verses — Real Talk. Real Faith with Kelli LaVerne, we take a deeper look at Leah — the woman who spent years standing next to someone else, watching them receive the love she longed for.

Most people know Leah as Jacob's first wife.

But her story is much deeper than that.

It's a story about comparison.
About feeling overlooked.
About trying to earn what should be freely given.
And about discovering that God's purpose for your life isn't determined by who does or doesn't choose you.

Because Leah wasn't unloved by God.

She was unseen by the person she wanted most.

And for a long time...she thought those were the same thing.

In this episode, we talk about:
 • comparison and self-worth
 • what happens when you're constantly measured against someone else
 • the exhausting pursuit of validation
 • learning to stop earning love and start receiving God's love
 • and why Leah's story still speaks to so many women today

Because sometimes the greatest shift happens when you stop asking,
"Will they ever choose me?" and start realizing that God already has.

Welcome to Eve's Drop — Listening in on the women between the verses.

Real talk.
Real faith.
From Sunday to Monday.

Between The Verses — Real Talk. Real Faith with Kelli LaVerne

Current Series:
Eve's Drop — Listening in on the women between the verses.

Between The Verses — Real Talk. Real Faith with Kelli LaVerne

Current Series:
Eve’s Drop — Listening in on the women between the verses.

Real talk.
Real faith.
From Sunday to Monday. 💭

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Come on in pull up a chair. There's a story between the verses. Real talk, real faith, life, healing, growth, and grace. You're listening to between the verses. The Kelly Laverne.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Welcome to Between the Verses. Real talk, real faith with Kelly Laverne. This is Eavesdrop, where we listen a little closer to the women between the verses. Whatever tell you, this is my first podcast. It's true. Yes, and I've been nervous. Now, some of you who know me, you might think I'd be used to speaking publicly by now after doing it all these years. Um, wow, many years. 30 plus years. I know it's more than 30, but each time it's it's a little new or like a different experience. So I don't take it for granted that I've, you know, done it and it's no big deal. So yeah, I'm a little nervous, but as we go along, I think we're getting in our rhythm. So today, girlfriends and guys, just in case they're listening in, let's get into it. Because we need to talk about Leah. And I'm just gonna say this up front. This one, this one might sit with you a little longer. Because if you remember, Eve, that was about influence, Sarah was about waiting, Rebecca was about trying to control what you think needs to happen. But Leah, Leah is something quieter, something people don't always say out loud. Leah is about being there and still feeling unseen, being chosen but not feeling wanted. Being present, but wondering if your presence actually matters. You know, and if we're being honest, there are people carrying that feeling right now. Showing up, doing everything right, giving, helping, trying, and quietly asking themselves, why does it feel like everybody else gets chosen naturally? And I always have to earn it. So let me tell you about Leah. Now Leah's story, it doesn't begin with romance, it doesn't begin with excitement. It actually begins in comparison. And that already tells you a lot. Because when scripture introduces Leah, it also introduces Rachel too. Like, did you catch that? And immediately there's a contrast, right? Rachel, it's described as beautiful. She's described as beautiful. And Leah, well, the Bible says her eyes were delicate. I had never heard it put that way before until I uh saw it in the word. But the Bible says her eyes were delicate, which has been translated and interpreted different ways, but regardless of the exact wording, the point is clear. The attention moves quickly, and Rachel becomes the focus. Rachel becomes the focus. And maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal at first. It's not until you realize this wasn't just one moment, this was her life. She lived this way her entire life, growing up beside someone who naturally got notice, being measured next to someone else constantly, living in a room where comparison probably walked in before you did. And I think that's why Leah's story feels so real. You know, because a lot of people, some, okay, maybe me, know what that feels like. You're not necessarily rejected, you're just not chosen first, you're not picked first, you're not the favorite, you're not the obvious choice. And then Jacob shows up. Jacob shows up, and we see immediately everything gets clearer. Because Jacob doesn't slowly fall in love. He sees Rachel, and that's it. That's the one he wants. That's who he encounters. That's who he chooses. That's who he works for. And I'm talking working seven years. Seven. No pay. He's working so he could marry Rachel. And the scripture says it felt only like days because he was so in love. He was so in love seven years. Felt only like days. I can't even imagine that that's how much he loved her. And listen, this is a beautiful love story. A beautiful love story. And wait, let me give you, it's in Genesis uh chapter 29. And I think Leah uh comes in at verse, oh boy, uh boy, is the 16. Yes, Genesis 29, 16. I want to make sure I give you the right verse because I always encourage everyone, even though if you read it before, you might have heard it in a sermon a hundred times. Go back and read it, and especially after listening to this and see if you can pick up on any of this. Okay. Um, so as I was saying, this is a beautiful love story. If you think about it, a man comes, you know, immediately, love at first sight, and I'll do whatever it takes to get her. I'm going to work seven years. And like I said, this was seven years labor, and he wasn't getting paid. So that's love. When I said I can't imagine I can't imagine working seven years. Well, let's just move on. Let's move on. But it's a beautiful love story, unless you're Leah, right? I mean, she's standing right there, she's close enough to witness this love. Can you imagine watching that, watching this man go out and work for your sister every day, and realizing this isn't happening for you. You're witnessing love, but you're it's not reaching you. That love is not towards you, not if you're Leah. Imagine watching somebody else making sacrifices, put in the effort, wait, dream for your sister and not you. And before we move too fast, I want to stay here for a second because sometimes, you know, we read what's in the Bible, we read their stories and about their lives, and we think they already knew the ending. They didn't. Leah had no idea how this would turn out. We know now, but Leah was living life in real time. This was happening, she was watching, she was knowing, she was feeling. And here's the other part. In those times, it was tradition that the oldest daughter had to marry first before the younger. Leah was the oldest. Rachel was her younger sister. So now you see, and you know that this man wants to marry your little sister, and you're not married, but culturally, you're supposed to be married first. That's how it happens. Let's just imagine. You know, all of her girlfriends, that's how it happened with them. They were the oldest, they got married first. And now here you are. A man comes, he don't want you, he wants your sister. So she's also living this the seven years. While we can imagine Rachel prancing around, knowing that this man is out there laboring so he can marry her. Right? Come on, y'all, let's be real. Let's be real. It's this tough. And then the wedding comes. And this is where the story gets uncomfortable. Because Laban, who is their father, he decides to intervene. And instead of giving Rachel to Jacob from the wedding night, he gives him Leah. Now I know, don't I listen, I wasn't there. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how, but you know, I I can't even, but anyway, let's move on. So dad slips in and sends Leah in there to be with Jacob. And we need to pause here. Seriously. You know, sometimes we talk about Jacob's disappointment and completely skip Leah. But think about this: there's no recorded conversation, there's no recorded agreement, there's no moment where Leah says, yes, this is what I want. She's simply placed into the moment, placed into the marriage, placed into a situation already that already belonged emotionally to somebody else. Kind of remind me a little bit of Hagar, but if you didn't hear, go back and check that episode out. But she's placed there. And knowing that this man doesn't love her, he loves her sister. And by morning, Jacob realizes it. And the scriptures say, Behold, it was Leah. And I don't know why, but that line feels heavy. Because in one moment, she becomes the answer to somebody else's disappointment, or rather, the reason. How about that? In one moment, she becomes the reason to somebody else's disappointment. And that's gotta be a painful place to live. Having to be, she's married to him culturally, by their beliefs. She's married, she just can't get up and run off or go and say, you know, that's it. I want a divorce. She's has to live knowing this man doesn't love her, and she's a disappointment. And guess what else? Guess what else? Rachel is still there, and Jacob still wants Rachel. Now, if you know the story, we know that he works another seven years to get Rachel. Now, why he's married to Leah, we don't even talk about like, and I know in those times they could have more than one wife. Not me. I didn't write it. I said, I'm we just talking. We talking. So Leah is there while all of this is happening, while her husband is happening, is working for her sister. Seven years. And I think, please don't quote me. Like I said, go back and check this out. But I think the Bible says that Jacob got tricked again and had to work another seven. So I think it was a total of 14. Or was that after? Well, I'm gonna get off track. But there was some time that this man put in to get this woman's sister. So eventually, you know, he marries Rachel too. And you know, this just means this, I don't even know how else to put it for Leah. This just it's not good. She isn't, she's not in a, you know, a normal marriage, even though that they were able to have more than one wife. Her marriage, she's stepping into comparison inside her own home. And listen, this is important. Leah didn't create this, she didn't ask for this, but she still had to live in it. She still had to live that this was her life. And some of us know exactly what that feels like. Living inside decisions you didn't make, trying to create peace in situations you inherited, trying to feel secure in spaces that started unstable, trying to build confidence while constantly feeling measured. And that's where Leah's story really begins. Not because she lacked value, but because she started believing love had to be earned.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

It had to be earned. Excuse me, had to get a sip. It had to be earned.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

She started believing love had to be earned. And scripture doesn't leave this vague. It says it. Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah. And I know that's uncomfortable because nobody wants to imagine living in that reality. Not invisible, not abandoned, but constantly aware that somebody else gets the version of love you wish you had. And listen, Leah isn't fighting Rachel, that's important. Because her pain really isn't about Rachel. It's about longing. Longing, longing to be fully seen, longing to feel chosen emotionally, not just technically. And again, if we're being honest here, there are people listening right now who understand that. Being included but not pursued, being appreciated, but not deeply known, being around people, but still feeling lonely. And what I love is that scripture notices, because while people saw Jacob's love story, God saw Leah's pain. And this part right here, this changes everything. Okay. The Bible says that when the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he responded. I love that wording. Because it doesn't say when Leah got stronger. Come on. It doesn't say when she stopped caring. It doesn't say when she figured it out. No, God saw and he noticed and he moved. God. And what happens next? Leah starts having children. But if you pay attention, the names tell the story. Because every child she named, y'all, shows where her heart is. And honestly, this section might be one of the most human parts of scripture. Her first son, Reuben, which basically says, Now my husband will love me. That hurts. Because she's thinking, having this baby, having this boy, maybe this changes things. Maybe now I'll be enough. Maybe now he'll see me. I gave him a son. Now I don't want to jump to the sister, but just hold on to this thought because while this is happening, Rachel is having trouble having children. Okay, let's jump back to Leah. So we got Reuben. Maybe now. Then comes Simon. And she says, God heard that I'm unloved. Do you hear that? She's still carrying it. She's still hoping, still waiting, still trying. Then she has Levi. And she says, Now my husband will become attached to me. And girl, this is where Leah gets close. Because this isn't really about motherhood. This is about trying to earn something. And if we're honest, like how many times do we do that? If we're honest with ourselves. How many times do we do that? Work harder, show up more, be nicer, do more, shrink more, carry more, thinking maybe this time it'll finally be enough. And that's exhausting. Because when your value becomes connected to someone else's response, you never fully rest. Never. But in Leah's case, something changes. And this might be my favorite moment in Leah's whole story because she has another son. And this time she names him Judah. All right, my Bible scholars, y'all know what Judah means, right? And suddenly the language changing. She she changes. She doesn't mention Jacob. She doesn't mention being a loved. She doesn't mention earning attachment. She says, Now I will praise the Lord. Okay. We know that Judah means praise. And that line is easy to read fast. But don't. Because this is years of heartbreak. Years. We already know she watched the first seven years. She was married to the man the next seven years. And like I said, I think there's another seven in there. Please forgive me. But so years. And we even mention it before her life, you know, before this, all of her life, she was probably being compared and experiencing some form of heartbreak. But this is years of heartbreak turning into surrender. Not maybe he'll love me, not maybe this fixes it, not maybe I'll finally become enough. No. Now she's saying, I will praise. And that shift changes everything. Because she stops measuring herself by what she wasn't receiving and starts rooting herself in what God already said. She's rooting herself in God's word. And this next part is wild. It'll make you sit straight up in your seat because Judah, the son born after the shift, becomes the lineage of Jesus. Becomes part of the lineage of Jesus. Not the one the Bible calls beautiful, not the one Jacob worked 14 plus years for. Leah, the overlooked one, the woman who spent years believing she wasn't enough. The woman who thought she had to earn being seen. Her bloodline leads to Jesus. And I think there's something beautiful in that because it reminds us God's purpose doesn't disappear because somebody else didn't recognize your value. Y'all want me to say that again? I know you do. God's purpose doesn't disappear because somebody else didn't recognize your value. So let me tell you the real T, what this really is, friend to friend, cousin to cousin, sister to sister. Leah's story is about trying to earn love, living in comparison, believing being chosen should automatically feel fulfilling. And eventually realizing your word was never waiting for someone else to confirm it. Because people can overlook you, and God still builds something incredible through your life. All right, so I Monday move. By now, y'all know what this is. Ask yourself, where am I still trying to earn something that should be freely given? Love, approval, attention, validation. And then ask, what would change if I believed I was already enough? Because maybe the shift doesn't happen when people finally choose you. Maybe it happens when you stop waiting for permission to see your own value. So if you ever felt like that, overlook, compare, not really the one chosen, but they had to pick somebody, or like you had to work harder just to matter. I want you to hear this. Lean in. I need you to lean in. Being somebody's second choice does not make you second value. God sees you, God knows you, and your life still carries purpose. All right. I'm gonna leave that right there. Because Leah's story, it doesn't scream, it quietly asks, what if you stop trying to earn what God says is already yours? All right, girlfriends, cousins, sisters, everybody in between, including the guys. I'll meet you right back here next time on Between the Verses, Real Talk, Real Faith with Kelly Laverne from Sunday to Monday.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Oh yeah. Before you go for the weekly, don't forget, subscribe, like and share, enjoying the conversation. Search Facebook for Between the Verses Podcast Community. Until next time, keep rolling, keep believing, and keep walking by faith between the verses. With Kelly Laverne.