The Story Your Ancestors Guide | Grief, Identity, Resilience & Reclaiming Yourself

What happens when life strips away every version of yourself you created to survive?

In this deeply vulnerable episode of Elevate Within, Sandy Davis shares a powerful conversation from her appearance on The Raw Onion Podcast with host Stephanie. Together, they explore grief, survival mode, identity loss, corporate burnout, generational resilience, emotional healing, and the journey of reclaiming your authentic self after years of wearing masks designed to make other people comfortable.

After losing both of her parents within 37 days of each other, Sandy found herself confronting unresolved trauma, burnout, anger, survival mode, and the realization that she no longer recognized who she had become. Through raw storytelling and reflection, this episode explores how grief, healing, ancestry, womanhood, and personal reinvention can completely reshape your life and sense of self.

At the center of this conversation is the powerful “wardrobe” visualization, a metaphor for the different identities, masks, and survival versions of ourselves we create throughout life, and the emotional moment of finally reconnecting with the version of yourself that still fits.

This episode explores:
• Grief and losing both parents
• Survival mode and emotional burnout
• Identity loss and rebuilding yourself
• Generational trauma and ancestral healing
• Women, corporate masks, and shrinking yourself to survive
• Healing through journaling, therapy, and self-reflection
• Fear, anger, and emotional protection
• Authenticity, resilience, and reclaiming your voice
• Entrepreneurship, purpose, and personal transformation
• Learning how to honor your past without staying trapped in it

Elevate Within is a transformational podcast for women navigating grief, burnout, healing, emotional wellness, identity shifts, entrepreneurship, reinvention, and personal growth through honest conversations about the “messy middle” of life.

If this episode resonates with you, subscribe and share Elevate Within on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube for more conversations centered around healing, rebuilding, and rising from within.

Special thanks to Stephanie and The Raw Onion Podcast for creating space for honest conversations around resilience, healing, identity, and the human experience.

Connect with Sandy Davis:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ElevateWithinAlways
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandra-davis-abb21236/
Website: https://elevateopsadvisory.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, and welcome back to Elevate Within. I'm your host, Sandy Davis. Today's episode is a little different, and honestly, one of the most personal conversations I've shared publicly. Recently, I had the opportunity to sit down with Stephanie on the Raw Onion Podcast, and for the first time, I truly peel back the layers behind how Elevate Operations Advisory and even Elevate Within were really born. Not in a boardroom, not through a polished business plan, but through grief, identity loss, burnout, and the quiet process of rebuilding myself afterwards. In this conversation, we talk about survival mode, corporate masks, generational resilience, and the moment I realized I had spent years wearing versions of myself that made other people feel comfortable while slowly losing who I really was. We also talk about that visual that changed everything for me, a wardrobe full of identities, and what it felt like to finally try on my authentic self again and realize it still fits. Whether you are a founder caring too much, a professional questioning your identity, or simply someone trying to find yourself again after life cracked you open, this conversation is for you. Here's my conversation with Stephanie on the raw onion.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Raw onion peeler backers. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We are excited today, and we're very happy you're joining us here in a the beautiful month of May. And we've got this theme going this month, right? It is resilience. And today we're peeling back a layer that most people would rather leave intact. And it's the one that sits right between who we were before everything changed and who we had to become because of it. So my guest today is a special, special guest. We are so excited to have her on. She's the COO and operations strategist who left the safety net of corporate America to build something entirely on her own. And the road to get there was anything but a straight line. There's a lot to it. And what she will be sharing with us today is something that I think we can all deep down align with and resonate with because we are more than just builders and founders, right? We operate on a system of humanity and emotions and a lot of stuff in between. And that is why we're talking about resilience today. Not the Instagram version, not that bounce back quick version, right? There's a lot more to it. This is the real kind today. The kind that gets forged in fire. Or as I have referred to it in my own journey, a baptism by fire. And I mean that in the best possible way. Sandy Davis is a fractional COO and the founder of Elevate Operations Advisory, where she helps founder-led businesses fix the operational breakdowns that quietly stall growth so they can grow without burning out their teams or themselves. You can see why we are honored to have her on right now, right? She specializes in taking companies from successful chaos, and I'm saying that in air quotes, to structured, scalable operations so founders can stop being the bottleneck and teams can perform at a high level. This is resilience in its purest form. So with over 25 years in operations and leadership, she's known for quickly diagnosing what's not working behind the scenes and implementing practical high-impact solutions that drive real sustainable growth. And she does this from experience on so many levels. She's also the voice of Elevate Within, where for the first time she shares her personal journey through loss, healing, and rebuilding, and the path back to herself. Her work sits at that intersection of operational strategy and personal resilience. And this is something we're going to learn today. It's one and the same, guys. It's one and the same. You have to know yourself before you can build something new. So before we get into the strategy and the success of Sandy's story, I want to go somewhere that most conversations skip entirely. But first of all, Sandy, welcome to the Raw Onion. We are so happy to have you here. And before you get into it, because we want to listen to all of it, and we want you to hit the nails on the head for our listeners because you are such a profound guide in this beautiful alchemization of being a human in this crazy wacky world and also building and succeeding in this crazy wacky world. Your journey is beautiful because it was hard. It was real, and that's the beauty of having you on because you are beautiful and you are real. And I want to know. I want to know good, bad, and the ugly. The real version. What happened when you knew it was time for not only a change in corporate America, but what was happening that got you there and what was happening in your personal life? All of the dominoes were lined up and they kind of all fell at the same time, right? Let's let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Yes. Thank you. And thank you so much for having me on.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Absolutely. It's an honor.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Um well, there's a lot to unpack. So uh bear with me while I try to, I might skip around a go-in-order type of thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

And and if I'm gonna jump in, I'm gonna have some questions too.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

So as you mentioned, yes, I was in operations for over 25 years, investment banking in New York. That's where I'm originally from. Then I moved to Southern California, where I got into commercial real estate, regional, national operations. And this was something that I just kind of fell into. Wanted to be part of corporate America, and there's a story how I got into that, which I'll dive in. Um, navigating from being a New Yorker moving to Southern California is definitely a major shift.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

It's like moving to the moon, basically.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yes, and you lose majority of yourself, right? So I had to try to rebuild or conform to living in Southern California, Orange County, being in commercial real estate, working my way up, navigating, and being a woman, especially a woman of color, you have to definitely work harder. You have to be able to speak up, but not too loud. You have to be able to shine, but make sure your light shines on others, dim your light some. So navigating that, and with that, you know, I held some old traumas, anger, insecurities. And then two and a half years ago, I lost both my parents within 37 days of each other. And this was also right before I was turning 50. And this was also during a time where I was really starting to feel that burnout, the animosity, and just really losing myself. Um, my dad passed away in August of 2023. And moving, you know, I had to go back to New York. That was like the first real death that I ever experienced, someone close to me. So I was already in this void, right, of not knowing of how to react. And to the last conversation I had with him, he was in a hospital. And, you know, as for most women or most people to understand, we end up, you know, scolding our parents in a way like you have to take better care of yourself, you have to do this. You know, my my father, he was uh a drug addict off and on. He had his own depression. You know, he drank, but at the same token, he was also charismatic. He was an army vet, everybody loved him. He can speak volumes, he was extremely intelligent. So I guess that complexity, that's probably where I got that from.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

And real human being with a real lived human being in ways.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Yes. Um, so trying to, I didn't know what grief was. You hear about grief all the time, and especially losing parent, you hear other people's stories, but it never resonated with me. And like most folks who have their parents are alive, it just doesn't hit, right? So we don't there are no rules, there are no steps to grief or whatever have you. It was also the first time of me being in front of, you know, my father's side of the family again, because I pretty much avoided them for a few decades. My father's funeral was on my mom's 73rd birthday, and I didn't want my mom to come. You know, I kept telling her, I was like, look, my dad doesn't want any animosity, doesn't want any anger, any arguing during his funeral. So that really pissed her off in a way. And I totally understood it, but I was just trying to honor his wishes. And I didn't see my mom when I was in New York. I think I was just so lost and in this void. I should have, you know, thinking back, I should have gone to see my mom for her birthday, but I just wasn't in that space. At the same token, I knew I had to get back to work. It was like, hey, it's forecast season, it's budget season, like we need you back. And you realize, okay, I don't even know. I don't want to think about what's needed or what's done. Then you get angry. It's like the world is still moving, the earth is still spinning, and I just needed a moment to stop. So I get back to New York. I'm even more bitter. I'm lost. And, you know, 36 days later, my mom would always text me every day. And then she stopped texting me for four days in a row. So I was like, man, let me do a wellness check. And I had my mom's youngest, and I purposely say it like that, her youngest daughter, like, hey, you need to go check up on Ma to see what's happening. I haven't heard from her. Call the police, the Ankers police. It takes them four, 45 minutes just to break down our door, and they find her body. And I'm on the phone as they say, you know, we're sorry for your loss. At that point, I remember sitting in my kitchen, and everything just left me. Like I felt like my soul left me. I felt like I just didn't know who I was, and I ended up becoming this white void, this nothing, and having to go.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

It's a very interesting way you put it there, Sandy. It's because I mean we can that's a whole other sort of uh branch to go off into. We won't do it now, but this white void respectfully for the the listeners here, because this is something that's so it's why we're talking about this and why I'm so appreciative of your vulnerability here, is because this is life. And this is not sugarcoating the reality. And how you mentioned this too is the world keeps going, the world moves forward, it keeps spinning. And so when we tr when we have this shock, this grief, this is profound, right? Um everything is sort of cut off, but you have to tether on to something. So you've got this sort of human worldly responsibility when everything has just imploded. Um what are you talking about when you how what does this feel like now viscerally in your body? What is this moment? And and how are you even really cognizant of okay, now I've got to actually keep moving here. I've still got my place in the world, I've still got to keep on trucking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

You end up well, for me, I went an autopilot. It was as if I'm in this white space, it's almost like an echo. It reminds me of 9-11, you know, when the towers fell.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Um being there at that time. It's just my survival kicked in. And I knew I was there, but I wasn't. It was just this white void. There's nothing, it's blank, it's hollow. And so it's the survival, and I've always been in survival majority of my life. And that's it was kind of like that little girl in me, that young woman in me just dissipated. And it was just okay, autopilot, survival, go get her will. And it was very structured. It was so structured of like having to just check the boxes, do what you have to do, do the right thing. And I remember getting my mom's will and having to figure out, like, okay, I need to stop a bank account, I need to book a flight. And at the same yeah, and at the same token, the the police department is like, all right, well, what funeral home do you want us to send it to? And I'm I'm not even thinking about all of this. I'm like, funeral home, like, why don't you hold on to where, like, isn't there autopsy or something? And it was like, no, you need to pick a funeral home. And I haven't been in Yakers in a few decades. So I was like, well, I don't know which one to go to or whatever have you, but there happened to be one that was local that ended up being really nice. And now I'm doing like the obituary, the announcement. And I'm just, I I remember my mom loved Frank Sinatra. So I'm trying to play that in the background. I'm on autopilot, and I'm really on some, hey, let me just write. You know, I'm asking my uncle for help. He even forgot my mom's middle name. So I'm autopilot, I'm booking my flight, I'm making sure, you know, there's somebody that will take care of my dog where I go to New York, calling my friends, because now I have to pack up my mom's place for because she's lived in for close to 40 years. And I go there, I'm packing up, and I'm having like an altercation with my younger sister. So I couldn't even do a funeral for her in New York. My friends was like, we have to pack up, you have to get your mom's, you know, ashes, and you need to hurry up and go back to California. So everything was on autopilot. Everything was survival mode. And by the time I got back to California, you know, then having to go back to work and just realizing I don't know who I am anymore. I lost myself. I lost my parents. Who am I? Like, what am I doing here?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

At this point where you now, survival mode, guys, we all have been there, right? It's uh it's different for everybody, but what Sandy's describing here, it's really when your the prefrontal cortex of your brain, that decision making, that emotional regulation, it almost the cognizant part of you goes offline. You're not making decisions based on thinking of the future, based on your desires, based on your goals. You're literally that reptilian brain comes on, and it's just let me just stay alive, and I'm gonna do what I have to do, not even day to day. It's minute by minute. And that's why a lot of people, you know, even some we forget to eat, we we can't sleep. It's just this adrenaline drenched moment to moment. All I have to do is stay alive, and that's what happens when we're in shock. That's what happens because, and this is how we're designed, right? This is meant to keep you alive. So when you do come back online, and that's why it's it's pretty incredible what you're mentioning, Sandy, because it's heavy, and that's not even uh that's that's I'm not even doing service to describe it rationally. It's the what's the word beyond heavy, right? It's all consuming and not knowing who you are, that's a very, very normal reaction at this point. Yeah. How are you supposed to, right? How what I mean, what did you wouldn't be a human if you if you came back spanking new, ready to go.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

So there was just no way. And and it was almost like blurps. So there were the times where I'm asking myself, like, you know, I I don't know who I am anymore. It was like a bleep, and then I would go offline. You know, it was my subconscious coming in, just checking in, like, is it safe to come out? Yep. You know, what's what's going on? How do you maneuver? How do you get through the next days, just the next day? You know, I wasn't even thinking that far ahead. Um, work just uh I couldn't deal with the work. I was already burnt out. I was already going through the toxic environments, the people, when they sense that you're down, it's almost like, you know, they're gonna kick you. They're gonna kick you. It's just like, yeah, she's down. Let me let me kick her even worse. And that void ended up turning that white void turned black. Then I'm just in this dark hole. And I'm completely angry. I don't know, I don't have a purpose. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to heal. I don't even know how to articulate my words. I could do it now, but at the time I just wanted to scream. I wanted to just shut everything down. So I ended up with Corbin, I had to leave. I I was just no good at work. At work. Just I I it was just one of those things where it's like, I can't do this. I can't maneuver. At the same token, I'm also about to, you know, turn 50. And that's like, okay, what the hell am I doing? You know, what is my purpose? I don't have my parents. I cut off family. I need to find out who I am. That was probably the only thing that was screaming that little girl in me, that 20-year-old me, was like, we need to find ourselves again. We need to find new purpose. And it really helped with reading my mom's journals that she journaled since the 80s. And her giving her truths that she could not articulate verbally. She never told me before. And reading those was a sense of therapy for me, where she's writing down her most vulnerable thoughts, how she felt. And it was also the first time that I realized, oh my God, my mom did love me. My mom was proud of me because of the childhood where we have. I came from a group home. Um, you know, I was physically abused, I was sexually abused. I was learning to like not say anything. I had a lot of injustices in my life. And it was that spark from my mom's journal where it's like, okay, I have to get back up. I have to keep going, I have to keep moving. And it was that crazy decision of I'm going to treat myself therapy. I'm gonna have to go through each phase of my life, figure out what broke me, what was good for me, what did I lose, and how do I get it back? How do I become this new version or maybe my authentic version and rebuild so I can live a healthier life because now I wanted to do it to honor my mom, to honor my dad, to honor my ancestors, right? I had wrote, um I started journaling on Substack, and it was a matter of like, you know, my mom gave me what she could so I can become who she couldn't be.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Well, you know, Sandy, this part is big because and I'm happy you brought it up, because it's something most people don't talk about enough is this alchemy, right? That a lot of times and I want to hear your opinion on this, is and you're you're you're s you're so eloquent when you describe it because life is hard and we're all given different decks of cards in life. And there's a lot of room for falling down, and then the choice is ours when we're gonna get back up, but how we're gonna get back up, right? And there's a lot sometimes there's family pressure and figuring out to your point who you are, right? And you you're getting blow after blow after blow and Not only that, there's a milestone birthday, there is the family loss, and there is a career that is proverbially dying too. And it's all coming together in one perfect storm. I can relate to that in a lot of different ways. But not just me. I think there's millions of people who can relate to that in a lot of different ways, right? When it hits, it hits. Right. And it takes you down. And then you're forced to kind of have that moment. Let me look back and figure out, wait a minute, where am I, where am I really coming from? It's not just me here operating and how beautiful it is to read your mom's journals and to really have that moment to look behind you before you can look in front of you. Absolutely. Right? And there's and that's up to us. And I think that's I would love to hear more about that in from your words. That how do how what is that process like where frankly it's the opposite of victimhood, right? It's the it's this absolute opposite of victimhood to say, wait a minute. She might have dealt with one thing differently. My grandmother might have dealt with one thing differently, my great grandma, maybe we all were dealt very similar decks of cards. Yes. But we all did it in a little bit of a different way to and to your point to survive. And now it's my turn, right? Right. So what am I gonna do with it? And that I think is the powerhouse of the story here. Um, but I just wanted to jump in to applaud you because really, again, to we don't talk about this enough, right? This we're not we're not supposed to.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

We're not there you go. We're not as we're not supposed to.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Um, especially that is why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Given, you know, I'm was born in the 70s, you know, my parents and grandparents, we didn't talk about what happened at home. We didn't talk about, you know, your your trials and tribulations, your sorrows. Everything was just be quiet. Like when you go out, we put a smile on our face, everything is great. And that's what I was born into of this imposter syndrome, of this, you know, be quiet, just smile, but inside, don't show that you're hurting. There's a lot of injustices. Um, I think a lot of women in particular go through. And we are told, don't say anything. We're and we're not supposed to say if we were physically abused. We're not supposed to say that we were sexually abused. We are just supposed to put this mask on and be eloquent, be polite, be quiet. You speak only when spoken to. You have to just this appearance of being, this is what a woman is. Um, and I think you and I had this conversation before, where I was starting to realize when people would ask me, like, you know, tell me about yourself, I would always just tell them about my career, what I do. And I find that for most women, you know, after talking to a lot of women, I was like, my God, we are only conditioned to talk about our acts of service. So if it's not your work, then you're talking about, yeah, I'm a mother and I have these kids and this is what I do. Or career, this is what I do, this is how I got my start. Um, or I'm married or whatever, but we never talk about, but who are you? You know, who am I? I'm more than just I worked in operations. Like that's just my occupation, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Why do you think that is? Tell what do you why? Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Conditioned. I mean, going back to the women's rights movement. I mean, if you just look at history for women, we are, we already have to shrink to fit into society that tells us this is how you're supposed to look, this is how you're supposed to speak. If we, especially being a woman of color, if we try to be too aggressive, it's like, oh, it's the angry black woman. If there's injustices and we're just like, hey, I'm not gonna take this anymore, it's like, oh, you know, you now you're being hostile. You need to be more submissive. This is all you. I mean, we're always painted as women as the scarlet letter, or, you know, there's a strike. I remember my mom telling me when I was little for years, she would always say, You already have two strikes against you. You're a woman and you're black. And my mom was Italian and Puerto Rican, but she saw me and she was like, People are gonna see you as black. So you're gonna have to work harder. You're gonna have to navigate through this world differently, and you're gonna have to be in survival mode. And there are gonna be injustices, and you just have to keep moving. And I think going back to trying the healing process, there's one or two directions you're gonna go. Either you stay in the abyss and the dark, or it's woe is me, you're crying, you're depressed, you don't want to move on. And I did feel that way for a while. And then there was a part of me that also like I'm on the ground, and I'm I'm almost beating the floor, like just pounding it as hard as I can and getting back up and saying, I don't want to lay down anymore. I don't want to have any more injustice. I will overcome this, not just for me, but for my mom, reading her experiences and what she went through, my grandmother, and then just for other women, it was like F that. Uh, I'm not going down anymore. You know, you think of like the Rocky movies or whatever, where you're constantly getting knocked down, and I got tired of it. So that meant that I had to heal each version of my life from that little girl to that teenager being in the group home to the 20 to 30 year old, which was probably the most fearless. Like she just didn't care. You know, she was just gonna go out because I had nothing to lose. So I was like, well, let me see how far I can go in life, you know, and built a career. Um, and and finding these mentors that was just in for a season, right? You know, starting out in the career and then building up this momentum and, you know, establishing yourself, but I wasn't truly myself, right? And so it was like, okay, I'm I'm successful in my 20s and 30s, I'm in New York City. The bubble bursted where we had a recession in 2008, and I wanted to leave New York. You know, it was like, let me see what else is out there. And it was just always that song, if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

And I wanted to, not that I wanted to, I had this desire and this need to be like, it's time to go, without me realizing it was time to go.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Well, let me ask you, Sandy, you know, and again, for people listening, this applies to everyone in their own respective ways, because I think we're in a time now, which I think is really going to be of service to all of us if we allow it to be. And this is what Sandy is really touching on really, really beautifully and and uh in a very clever way. She's not only whip smart, but what I'm picking up, Sandy, too, is and let me ask you this question, please uh correct me if I'm wrong. The identities that came before you and the version of you that uh for lack of better words c had to collapse at this uh point in time, right? This would you would you sort of name the corporate life or the working life as a mask in terms of feeling the need, and it's not feeling it, it is real, the need to show up as this sort of polished version of yourself that working world finds or deems acceptable. And mind you, I'm saying this not because I agree with it, I think it's a load of garbage, and that's why we're here, right? Show up as your true self, figuring out who that true self is. Um, that's where your power is in in the working world as well, ultimately. But we'll get there. But do you think that is the ultimate mask then? Do you think that people do feel the need to show up and say, okay, let me put on this song and dance? Because what I would offer you is something that you cannot yet accept, and that's not my problem, that would be a problem in that system.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Yes, absolutely. And it was for me, it was taught, you know, growing up, and and as a teenager, it's being taught, it's it's I didn't have my family, my parents in particular. There was no, you know, you can be anything you want to be, you can do whatever you want to do. It was you need to get a job in corporate America, or you need to get a job, you know, working for the city or the county, but you will work. And with that, you have a uniform. And your uniform is your face, your posture. You have to put on a certain clothing. So, especially for corporate America and being in New York and a woman of color, you're not going to work with braids in your hair or twist or locks. You're gonna keep your hair neat, straight. I mean, this is a time where this was part of like the HR policy. You know, you can't show from your knees up, you can't show your toes when entering the building. You have to have on pantyholes. You have to fit the part of looking like an executive, didn't care if you worked in a mail room or whatever. This was your uniform. You will smile, you will be quiet, you will only speak when you're spoken to. You will not push back. And if you got pushed back, it was just like, all right, we'll we'll let you go. But there was no, at least not in a city, and definitely not in investment banking, there was no, you can have your own identity. You had to be the identity that that company wanted you to be.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

And that's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Imagine. Imagine what other cities were like at the time. Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Right, right. So you you show up, you you you have on your uniform, and then not only that, it depends on like I, you know, was born and raised in the Bronx, lived in Yonkers, and you also have to speak a certain way. Even in New York City, you have to speak a certain way. So it's like, hey, don't sound like you come from the streets, don't sound like you come from the ghetto. I remember my mom saying that, like, don't sound like we we grew up poor. We didn't really grow up poor, even though we were, but I just didn't know it. You have to have hold your head up high, even if it was heavy. But you just had to have this appearance. So that's for corporate America, for me, I already had different uniforms. I had, you know, different faces, different voices. And then when I left New York to go to California, well, that was a totally different thing because now I'm in SoCal and they're saying, like, well, you you have a New York accent. It sounds very aggressive. You you need to shorten it. You know, you need to soften. Um, I didn't have to wear the the physical outfits of the uniform where I was like, hey, you can do business casual, um, but I'm also curvy. But it's like, uh, you know, that that skirt might be tight. It was like, it's not tight, it's I have hips. Like, you know, it's one of those things. I mean, I've even had folks tell me, you should probably go to a dialect coach because that New York accent is so thick. And it was like, I'm from New York. Like, I'm from New York. What do you expect from me? So when I moved to Cali and trying to then try on this uniform or sew a uniform on first SoCal for commercial real estate, okay, now I have to change my whole identity of being a New Yorker that I already didn't like at the time and going through the trauma that I went through. So now I'm in SoCal and you know, I'm maneuvering a little bit easier because I'm a New Yorker, so I'm a shark. And sharks know how to be chameleons. You know, and I was competitive, but not really showing it. I knew to be more charismatic, like my dad, like, you know, I'll make them seem like, yes, you are worthy. You I I worship you, I just want to follow you. And I noticed, like, oh, we we want Sandy to come around more. You know, we will we'll promote her because she makes us feel so good.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Sandy, and I'm not I want you to continue, but here I'm just my light bulb and my brain is going off because now what I'm hearing too, which I think is pretty cool. We mentioned imposter syndrome earlier, right? Yeah. And what you're sharing now is sort of this almost this mirror image of imposter syndrome where it's not anymore. And let me share with you why, I think, and tell me if you agree with me or not. Because now you have the awareness of what it takes. There's a difference, right? And it's almost like resilience and grief are two parallel highways. You need ironically to be vulnerable in order to be resilient, which is not a natural thought pattern for us. We think we need to armor up, we need to put on our warrior, ready to fight, kind of let's go into battle to be resilient, which is actually not true. What you're sharing with us and teaching us today is actually resilience, is when you're allowed to look at yourself and say, okay, this is who I am, and this is where my real power comes from, where I'm gonna lean into how I'm gonna navigate this space as me, not as the million different faces you want me to be, but as me. That's where my resilience comes in. That's where I become the Teflon Don, right? Like nothing's gonna stick because I know who I am. And this version is really interesting too, because it's almost, and again, please jump in. But I, you know, when you're saying you're one version of imposter syndrome, that's how everybody else is telling you to be. This is what's gonna make us comfortable if you show up as how I will feel comfortable as you showing up. But then this understanding and that light bulb moment for you is wait a minute, now I see the game here. Yep. I know I'm and I'm not gonna be manipulative, but I see the game, and now I know that I'm gonna have to play the game making my own rules now. I'm not gonna play it with your rules, but with mine. Is that sort of am I understanding this journey?

SPEAKER_00 37:41

It's a different, it's a different playing field. So I was still a survival mode. Okay, yeah in California. It's the difference is, and mind you, when I left New York, I was laid off on a Wednesday, and I took this personality test. This is when New York Times was just becoming digital, you know, match where your personality, where you should live. It was Florida, Colorado, and San Diego. Florida, I knew I couldn't do. Colorado, I was like, I don't think there's enough black people there. So it was San Diego. I flew out on a Friday. I also hired somebody to show me around California, like, you know, show me around San Diego. What else is out there? I've never been to Cali. You know, finding a roommate situation in San Diego and that whole weekend of like, yeah, I can do it. So I was already surveying where I was thinking about going and watching people. And I revert that when I was little, when I would just watch people. That was also survival tactic. I had to see, like, you know, what were the triggers? You know, let me see how folks get angry or get happy. Like, how do you maneuver through here? So I'm already absorbing everything throughout that weekend. And I made the decision, like, yeah, I could play over here. And, you know, flying back Sunday and telling my friends on Monday, like, yeah, I'm moving to Cali in two weeks. And it's just like, what hell are you talking about? Like, you don't know anybody out there. You don't have a job. And I'm like, nah, I'm going, I'm a shark. I'm not trying to battle with the other sharks here in New York. I'm going to Cali. There's not that many sharks. So moving over there, it wasn't just a matter of, you know, this is my authentic self. It was, I knew how to play the game out of experience, but it was a different playing field. And two, I had to be a little bit more humble because I had my cousin tell me one day, he was like, Sandy, listen, as anything happens to you, it's gonna take us five and a half, six hours just to get to you. You're there alone.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

So how did that feel? Was that was that like tell me how that felt in your body?

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Because I at that time, I to be honest with you, looking back now, I didn't have a feeling. I was just it was just to go. It was a matter of at that point, the universe was telling me, like, leave New York, go to Cali. And that was it. And I was fearless, right? I loved that 20, that 20s and early 30s version of me because I was fearless because I felt like I had nothing to lose. And I was literally gonna just ride this life until the wheels fall off. That that was what we were always taught. And I had this confidence and this gumption with my New York self in SoCal. Like, I got this. You know, I'm putting the crown on my head and I'm navigating. So it was exciting for me because I'm like, okay, I can restart a rebirth, totally. Yes, like I can become someone here, and there's nobody that knows me to try to shrink me back or tell me, like, you don't belong here, you know, you belong somewhere else. And I wasn't going to give anybody that power. But a year in, I kept getting knocked down, you know, like, hey, you talk different, you act different. And it's like, I'm from New York. Oh, say water, or you know, I was a mock of or a joke. And it was like, well, I'm not moving back to New York. I have to find my way. But I was getting beat on. And I just didn't know how to fight back. I didn't know, should I fight back? Am I too aggressive? So I started questioning myself. And as I'm getting further along in my career, you you start obtaining things. You you start, you know, you have these newfound friends. So it's like, oh, I have too much to lose. I can't go back to the old version of me. I can't be the New York me. I have to be acceptable. I have to now morph just to get into these rooms. And then when you're in those rooms, you're celebrated, but they're celebrating a version of me that's not truly me.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Well, they're celebrating their comfort.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

Exactly. And the deep down, I was getting angrier and angrier, right? I was losing myself to the point where I'm on the phone call with one of my best friends, and she's just like saying, you know, what happened to you? This is not you, you know, you're tolerating all this stuff. Like, what happened? And I remember I blurted out crying. I was like, you know what? She she basically was like, Where's Sassy's? I had a company when I was in New York, Sassy's Entertainment. She was like, Where's the sassy's? And I was like, I left a baggage claim in San Diego. I I have no idea who I am now, but she's not with me. She's not here. I don't even think she's welcomed here. And I'm I'm trying to conform and be something that is palatable to everybody else around here. I was anybody but you. Right. And I wasn't thinking about me. I never thought about me. The only time I would react is if I was afraid the survival mode or the anger. If I felt like, okay, I'm being threatened too much, then I would lash out. And then when I lashed out, I lashed out.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

And it would scare the hell out of people. And, you know, I was like, okay, if it scares you, now I know how to keep people at a distance. So I started wearing that anger almost as a badge of honor, but that anger really wasn't anger, it was fear with the anger cape on it. And I didn't realize it until Say that again.

SPEAKER_01 43:15

Say that again. So wait a minute. This is good. So I mean and again, this is stuff that people need to learn, right? And this is I say this with all the respect in the world to everybody out there. We don't know what we don't know. And so many times people do come, they don't come correct, and they come with anger, and they come with aggression, and they come with whatever whatever they come with. And it's fear.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

It's fear wrapped in a cloth of anger, that cape.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

That cape.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

That villain. And people just see the cape. And that's what kept people away. So now it's like, oh wow, Sandy's got you gotta be low capable. Careful with Sandy, you know, she she might lash out. But I welcomed it because that was my safety. And it took me years later to realize, oh, I was just afraid. And I'm out here on my own. And I'm only 5'1, but I have to walk here like a giant. I have to walk out here like a giant. And when people would talk to me on the phone or when they finally meet me in person, they'd be like, Oh my God, you're short. And so I'm the thing about that is I'm like, well, did you think I was tall? And they were just like, How you spoke. You know, you sound like you are a giant. And I was just like, yeah, I'm gonna keep that. So little anecdotes I was trying to take. So, you know, in your 40s, and I even wrote about I had to write about all these different identities, and I equated it to a wardrobe that I think women could resonate with. So fast forward to as I'm going through this healing, I'm going through different versions of myself two and a half years ago or over a year ago. I I have to, I have to release everything. I need to heal myself, and I can do it faster than a therapist. And I'm gonna sit in this hard places and I need to understand why I did what I did, why I reacted, what I reacted, what was I, where was I safe? You know, who is my true voice? What do I enjoy? What do I do? So now, if anybody ever asks me, like, tell me who you are, I can respond back. And it's not an act of service. It's not telling them about my career. It's letting them know, like, hey, yeah, you know, Sandy Davis and come from New York, and this is why I navigated in life, and this is what I learned, and this is my happy place, and this is what I try to watch out for. So, you know, that healing process of like, okay, I've lost myself, I've shrunk myself, I've had all these identities, and it's in this wardrobe. And just think, like, you know, you're walking in, and all I see is like different versions. Some were too tight that I hated, some were just like too solemn or crazy, whatever have you.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

This is an imagery too, and this is something the listeners can easily well, maybe not easily. I want you to walk this. This is a hack right here. It's a hack. It worked for you. I'm I'm with you here. I'm visualizing it. So paint this as you worked through it, but also listeners at home, this is something too, right? As you're building your resilience muscle. And again, this is something, Sandy. Why this is a beautiful visual and this is a beautiful exercise is because you're making it separate from yourself. That's a key in rebuilding, right? And you know this. But for listeners at home, that when you take something outside of yourself, you can really we and we call it, you name it to tame it, right? That it doesn't, it's not as scary anymore. It's not as overwhelming. It's, you know, again, this fear with the cape of anger, right? It's the same kind of thing. You remove it a bit so you can say, ah, now I see it for what it is. And this visual of putting it in an actual wardrobe is a great, it's a beautiful way to contain it too, because then you have the control over it.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Yeah, I I it's also an exercise that I learned from when I was a little girl, and it's a part of survival. So for those, and even maybe that's why I was so great in operations, you have to step out of the situation to see everything holistically. Um, too, my dad taught me about life to teach me how to play chess at five years old. And he's like, people only see like one or two moves. He was, and he taught me, like Sandy, you have to step back and see the whole board. You have to see how this person is gonna react. So my parents were giving me all these tools of survival mode that I didn't know that I was obtaining and didn't realize, like, okay, I am going to use these, this logic. So to go through this therapy, I because I was so close to it, I had to step out. I had to be that therapist, and that's how I pictured myself, be like, okay, I'm the therapist. And I was asking, talking to the different generations of myself. I already sat with the little girl. I've already sat with the teenage girl and let her know, like, hey, you're okay. I know I had to sit with all of the women growing up to let them know, like, we're fine, you're okay, in order to heal and move on to the next step. And the one that was the toughest version was the Sandy in my 30s and 40s. That was the roughest, that was the most stubborn, that was the one that had the absolute fear, more fear than that little girl. At least the little girl knew how to maneuver, quiet. Um, it was at 30 or 40, like coming to almost an uh an explosion. Like, I don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

That point.

SPEAKER_00 49:09

Right. So that's when I visualized this wardrobe. And seeing all these versions of myself and remembering, so I think of them as a whole outfit, you know, outfit, the shoes, the bag, the hat, the wig, you know, because the Crown Act didn't pass here in 20 until 2020 in California, where I was able to wear my locks with pride, right? Yep. So going long overdue. Yes. And a lot of people don't realize that, you know, when it was like, oh, we didn't know you had to have your hair a certain way. I was like, Yeah, women of color, we were not allowed until the Crown Act passed in 2020.

SPEAKER_01 49:46

2020. And think, okay, just think of the profound effect. That's six years ago, guys. That's nothing. That's a blink of an eye. And to identity shift into what people are comfortable with not the other way around, right? So for decades and decades, generations. I mean, this is a whole other topic that maybe we'll have you back on if you would like to, because how individuation is built and when you are repressed in that kind of way, times a million other different ways, how you navigate the world is so wildly different than your neighbors, than your colleagues, who do not come from the same background. I I I just I want to highlight that for a moment because it's a it's a huge, huge deal. Yeah. Again, we can talk another time about it. Um, but just so people are aware that it's big. What you're describing is is so fundamentally huge. So anyway, please, sorry to interrupt, but No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 50:59

And I get I'm glad you you pointed that out because again, a lot of people just didn't know. And me having to tell folks and you know, seeing the face of of other people, especially of other women, like, oh, you couldn't wear your hair natural. Be like, no. And two, you knew that. You know, you could see on TV. So neither here nor there. So I'm in the wardrobe, I'm I'm going through, and it was like I was walking through my life, you know, the different versions, the different decades, and I see in the back, you know, in the dry cleaning plastic wrap, and I, you know, pull it out, and it's my authentic version. And I try it on, and I don't know if there's I don't think there's a word for it, but I know women can resonate with this. There's nothing better than trying on something you haven't tried on in probably 30, 40 years, and it slips on and it still fits. It still fits to the point where you are twirling in the mirror, be like, I still got it, I got it, I got it back. Yes, yes, yes, and you clap it and be like, Oh, I look good. And you know, seeing I just visit like that was my therapy, visualizing that. And I mean, I I I'm getting the goosebumps again, and I'm looking in the mirror and I'm like, damn, I look good. Like, I cannot believe this still fits. And it was at that moment where I felt my mom's spirit put the crown back on my head. And it was like, now go be you. You no longer have to be afraid. You don't have to be afraid. And I got you. Share your truth and you know, visualize your future. I never was able to do that before. Um, it was just a matter of working. And now, once I felt that crown, my back straightened up. My I lift, you know, my head was up. And it gave me the autonomy of like, you know what? I have more years behind me working and in front of me. So I have more years behind me than in front of me. So let me walk with intention. Let me amplify my voice. Let me talk to other women and hear their stories and help them. And I'm gonna work for myself. And I pray, and I was telling my mom and my ancestors to be like, listen, thank you for each and everyone for giving me this strength, this, you know, quiet and sometimes loud resilience and finding my voice and giving me permission to be like, yes, we've been trying to show ourselves. It was just the wrong timing, the wrong decade. So I'm breaking that cycle of that curse for my ancestors. I'm breaking that cycle of injustice. I'm breaking that cycle of anger. And that was my epiphany. That was my breakthrough. That was the okay, I'm gonna step out. I'm not going back to corporate America. I'd rather work with corporate America instead of for corporate America. Ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do anymore. I'm gonna start my own business. I want to travel, I want to meet people, I want to be intentional, and I'm going to pay it forward for those great people that have been in my life that has shown me grace, that has shown me love, and taught me how to receive love and taught me how to, you know, give love back and be okay with it without being afraid, without being angry. And I don't know. Like, so this new path, I'm I'm I'm 51 now.

SPEAKER_01 54:56

And by the way, listeners, you should when you see a photo, uh, you won't believe her. Um, I'll just take that right now. You'll think she's not telling you the truth. She looks 20 years younger than she's saying. So I'm just putting that visual out there on top of all the beautiful visuals Sandy's given us today. Anyway, go on, Gertie.

SPEAKER_00 55:15

Thank you. Thank you. Um my body started, it's crazy. Uh, and again, it's one of those things when I'm talking about my story. I was like, I want to share the messy middle. I'm wanna share the unedited version and give, if I can do it, I want to give other women permission, be like, hey, let's talk about the messy middle.

SPEAKER_01 55:39

So, okay, Sandy, when you're talking about the messy middle, because I want to also really I want this to come full circle and really highlight your business now. Because with your messy middle, with the resilience, with the grief, with this honoring the lineage. And this is something I invite everybody to do because, again, right, we don't finger point, we alchemize to honor and grow from that, and we put the crown back on our heads to continue forward. This is what I wish for every one of us out here. That and so, Sandy, you have a powerful company you've built from this journey, from this rebirthing of yourself and being of service now to corporate America, to women in leadership spaces, in confusing and complicated, right? I between the robot of the corporate world to the humanness of how we show up. What have you built now for people? And I and please put this on a pedestal because this is something to be not only incredibly proud of, it's necessary as we shift our mentality in the working world. And that's why it's such an honor to have you on today. We want to highlight people who are showing up differently to understand, yes, the job still needs to get done, guys. Yes, we have to, we have to work hard, sometimes harder. It's worth it. But you are now a guide in this space. So tell us how all of this incredibly hard work came to put this incredible company together, and what does your company do?

SPEAKER_00 57:23

Yeah. So Elevate Operations Advisory, Elevate was really just the only name I wanted to use because I elevate myself. We all elevate each other. We're gonna have moments where we have to elevate in business, personally, you know, and of course professionally, to my niche, especially working with uh small business, mid-size, but I have also worked with like large corporations and operations. It's understanding there's this quote I I heard if you grew up in chaos, you will always prefer order. And I'm able to recognize chaos. So in businesses, business is chaos, right? So when it's a small company, everybody's doing everything, you know, they're you're you're burning the candle at both ends, but you you have the vision, you have the excitement. To me, that was my 20s.

SPEAKER_03 58:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 58:16

Right. And now scaling up is like a great, I want more, we're gonna step out there. You you have new funding, you have more clients, you know, you're more with more intention. So it's like, okay, let's build some guardrails. You know, we can't go off the guardrails. That's me in my 30s and 40s. Let's put structures in place. Let's, you know, we need to hire the right people. You also, as a founder and owner, you need to be mentally sound because if you are not, if you spiral, if you have those fears, your staff is gonna burn out. But at the same token, you want everything to run through you because only you have the vision. It's like I don't trust anybody else to do it. So come to me. And I know how to speak to those owners. I know how to speak to those founders, I know how to speak to those CEOs. Like, hey, I've been there. Not necessarily building my own business. I'm totally doing it, but I've been there in life and I can recognize it, I can see it. And it's like step away, let's put the proper people in place. So it's not just so much someone submitting a resume and then the hire, it has to be a certain type of person. And what does this position do? So it's a matter of for the company, it's like, okay, I can help you scale up. And when we scale up, you also have to be emotionally and mentally ready. And you have to have the right people placed. That means you have to trust. So you have to let go of something. So let's put the right type of people around you that is going to hold you accountable, that sees your vision, that's gonna build with you. And that's why I can pretty much do operations like blindfold, because I equate it to just my own life experience, seeing how investment banking has evolved over the decades, to see how commercial real estate has evolved over the decades, to understand like you're gonna be dealing with a lot of type A personalities. You're gonna be dealing with a lot of men. That to me represents like it's still a man's world. But with women's leadership, we still are the ones that making it go around. We're still making sure, like, hey, you could be successful, you're just gonna have to follow. Let us lead. And that also can equate, which we could talk about another time, like, you know, especially women of color, the first ones on the front lines in the protest. The civil rights was started by women of color, you know, the women's rights, just all everything. So that's my ancestors. That's already part of my DNA. So I'm honoring by, you know, showing up all of their versions of me to understand, like, hey, I can build a business, I can make success, make it successful, I can teach you how to scale up. I can also be there to be your soundboard when you're too close to it. I can sky's the limit. Like, here's what you have to do, here's who you have to advertise to. Here's a flawless onboarding process because now you are the asset. You know, I am an asset. You are an asset. You're welcoming these folks that are paying for your services. So you want to be very intentional. You want them to feel welcomed. You want them to feel like, hey, this onboarding and the customer service I'm getting spot on. So that's free advertisement.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:35

That's also making somebody feel good. That's, you know, making them feel seen. And I'm real, you know, I've realized that in human behavior. We want to be seen. We want to be heard. We want to be told, like, hey, you're doing a great job. You're doing a great thing, or, you know, whatever you need, I got you. There's a sense that when you say that and really mean it, people are the trust factors, I guess. And I'm a ride with you. So having my own business now, my identity changed, and now I feel more at peace. I feel safe because now I don't have the C-suites being like, hey, you can't do that. You can't say that. You need to lay off these people. And then we have a retreat that we're going to tomorrow that we're spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on. But let go of these people first, and you have to do it. I don't have to do that. I have the freedom. I can select who I do business with and who I don't. I have the autonomy to teach, especially these young founders and business owners, these new generations coming in, how not to be toxic, how what not to do anymore. And that's that's my strength. And elevate within is just that was it started with just me journaling and me exposing the unedited version. And then convincing other women where it started resonating with my writings like, hey, we don't need to talk about just the edited clean version of ourselves because it gets lost in translation. I actually can learn more from you if you talk about that miss in middle, talk about your peaks and valleys. We can learn from each other, we can support each other. We can tell the, you know, the Gen Zs coming up who don't have that life experience yet, to be like, hey, this is what to look out for. This is how you need to move. They can name traumas where when I was born up, there was no name for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:29

And now, you know, I was able to navigate, but now that they're able to name it, then my generation, I feel like that bird's like, Wait, let me show you how to maneuver.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:38

But isn't that the beauty of us humans when we do it when we do it right? Yes. It's done right. We have this weird knack for trying to destroy each other for whatever weird and sad reasons. And then when people like you come to the table and say, wait a minute, there's a different way to do this. Then you can now, as you said, you've looked back and you can see where you've come from. And now look at what you're doing. You're paying it forward for the people in front of you that are coming up. And the thing is, it's this way of resilience to learn from the things that hurt you. We've got to do it, guys. We've got to, there's no other way. You you cannot bypass this. You've got to sit with it, you've got to live with it, and you've got to close that cycle out so you can build a new path forward. And Sandy, this is what you're doing in essence, because you're seeing the rules, you're saying, no, actually, this doesn't work for the long haul. It's not sustainable. And there are a million reasons we can talk about, but even if we're gonna talk about in business speak, right? It's not sustainable, guys. It's not. We have to be humans. We have to be. And you're the queen of KPIs right now, right? That's how I'm thinking of you, because you're looking at all the things that have never been looked at before. And that is the foundation of your company. And I think this is really what is exciting in the shift of the working world because incredible minds like you are coming and showing up and saying, no, we're gonna, we're gonna do this differently. Yeah, we're still gonna make money, yeah, we're still gonna grow, we're still gonna scale, but we're gonna do this in a different way now. And it's gonna come from a really deep, deep, profound, and again, I use maybe I use it too much, but maybe it's my new favorite word, this alchemizing, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:46

Yeah. It's bringing back humanity. Like what I've noticed um over the generations, this new generation, because of social media, because of even like COVID, the shutdown of being isolated. The younger generation, they lost that human connection. Everything is online, everything is AML. No, they they they don't know, right? And then it's the Pawnee syndrome where I've spoken to young women and I'm like, you can be spiraling and down in the dumps, but you will go on Instagram and tell them this is my life, this is wonderful. And I was like, be careful, be careful because they will get lost way faster than the gen X, right? You know, and the older millennials. And that because they're older, it's like, hey, I feel like I have a responsibility. Like, let me go back to the human connection of being able to teach them and provide them the tools you're how to be seen, how to be heard, and not have the edited version of their lives. It's like the women that came before them, they didn't fight, they didn't, you know, fight for these rights that are slowly being stripped away from us just because you don't know you weren't aware, or you know, you're in this small bubble. I want to pay it forward to teach them like, you know, keep going, keep pushing forward. Your opportunities are endless. Yes, you have to heal yourself. Yes, you have to identify when you're spiraling. What does that look like?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:18

What's and there's nothing wrong with this, right? There's nothing in the resilience game, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:25

You you need it, it's kind of like going into a battlefield, and you are in your best summer dress, and everybody else has on their helmets and they have their weapons and you know, their bulletproof vest. And I'll tell some of them be like, Y'all are just walking into a battlefield, you're gonna get hurt.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:45

And let me show you without showing, without uh painting my brush of fear on them. It's like, hey, these are the tools that's necessary to navigate. You know, you have to be able to move in this world, and this world, people will say, like, oh, it's getting cold. I was like, it's always been cold. Name a decade that it wasn't effed up.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:04

And, you know, if they try to name it, then I'll tell them, like, these people suffer, these people had to navigate. And this is how it's resilience isn't everything. People were more coddled. It was like, hey, the world is not gonna coddle you. So let me teach you how to do that, whether even in business to understand it, the understanding the human psyche, the emotional psyche, understanding yourself, understanding the different versions of yourself and coming back to who you are, to who you are. That is the most important thing because that is something no one can ever take away from you. And your legacy moves on. So you I feel like for people, we die twice. We die the first time, physical, and the second time is when people stop talking about you. So, my goal for the remaining, you know, years or days that I'm on this planet, I want to make that dash on my tombstone count. You know, my name, when I was born, when I crossed over, that little small character on the tombstone is the most impactful thing on any tombstone ever in any cemetery. And I want to make that dash count. So even when I cross over, I still want folks to say something like, Hey, I remember standing when she did this or she did that, or she made me feel like this. That's how you keep living, that's how you keep, you know, touching people. And, you know, my mom is doing that for me. She's not here physically, but now I'm sharing her stories. I'm talking about her experiences. I have her artwork on my walls. And I told my mom yesterday, I was like, You're still living. Yes, you still have your best life, and I'm I'm honored and I thank her for everything that she did for me. I'm honored, and I would not change anything from my past, in all honesty, because I don't know who I would be right now, and I now love the woman I am today.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:10

And Sandy, we honor and thank you for being you and showing up as you and sharing that with us because even I'm getting a little emotional here because I know that's hard. And I know that that takes a lot of work. Yes, and you've done it and you've also done it in a way that's so sincere. And people need to understand that we're not gonna change the outside world and wish it to be how we want it to be, but we also don't need to play the imposter game and put on whatever outfit and whatever mask to please them. That's also not the option, and the finger pointing and the blame is not the way forward either. It's not that's not gonna work, but going within, right? And going deep and yes, it's painful, but look at what it does. This is how history is made, this is how things are changed, this is how you honor the end, the middle, the beginning. And that's why I'm so in gratitude to you because this is how it's done. And really, I thank you so much because this is the way forward. And resilience is, you know, it's not just a word, it's a whole way of being, and it's a whole way of living, and it also can save your life when you know how to do it with your body, mind, and soul. And that's what you've taught us today, and that's what your business is about. And ladies and gentlemen listening, we're gonna platform all of the ways to contact Sandy because as you build not only a mindful business, you want to build a successful one. And it doesn't happen in the world of AI and robotics. At the end of the day, it's about heart, and this is where you will go to build that out with Sandy Davis. And the most resilient people are not the ones who feel the least, guys. They are the ones who have learned to feel without being destroyed by it. They have built what I think of as an inside infrastructure, and that's the nervous system that's regulated to stay present in the fire without going numb to survive it. So the goal is never to become someone who does not break. The goal is to become someone who knows what to do when they do break, right? So, Sandy Davis, thank you for being here. Thank you for peeling back the layers today. And until next time, keep it raw, raw onion listeners. Sandy Davis, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:59

Thank you so much, Stephanie, for having me. I appreciate you, and I love you.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:03

I love you too, my friend. God bless you.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:05

Thank you, that wardrobe visual Stephanie and I discussed, it still gives me goosebumps. But before we close out, I want to say something important. While my own healing journey involved deep self-reflection, journaling, and rebuilding my relationship with myself, I deeply believe in the value of therapy and professional support. Healing is not something we are meant to carry on our own. For me, therapy created part of my safe foundation that allowed me to process grief, trauma, burnout, identity, and survival in a healthier way. This episode reflects my personal experience only and not professional mental health advice. True elevation requires support. It requires honesty, and sometimes it requires allowing yourself to be seen before you fully understand who you're becoming. So this week, I want you to think about your own wardrobe, your patterns, your masks, your armor, your survival response and ask yourself which version of me is leading my life right now? Am I still protecting myself? Or am I finally ready to put that crown back on my head? And if this conversation resonated with you, I encourage you to also follow Stephanie at the Raw Onion Podcast on Substack, Apple, and Spotify. Their platform creates space for the kind of conversations we don't always feel safe enough to have out loud. And if this episode spoke to you in some way, please share it with someone who may need a reminder that rebuilding yourself is possible. Be sure to follow, subscribe, and continue this journey with us on Elevate Within. Thank you.