Episode 1 - We're Back... Sort Of

After a little hiatus (okay, a lot of hiatus) your favorite chaotic duo is relaunching and we have things to say. This week we catch you up on our lives, explain what this podcast is now and why it’s different, and debut our brand new advice segment where a 34 year old asks if having no idea who she is outside of work and relationships is a crisis or just Tuesday. Welcome back, we missed you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

And we're back. Sort of. Hi, everybody, all of our listeners, brand new podcast. This is Dark Moon Full Moon. Dark Moon Full Moon. Yeah. Who's Dark Moon? Just kidding. I'll give you guess. Okay, so why don't you tell the people um what's your name? My name is Lindsay. And I'm Lauren, aka Batman. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

I am Lindsay. I am a weirdo.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I'm just kidding. Tom, okay, let's let's kind of explain. So we used to okay, we did not have a podcast. You had a podcast. Um, and then you had a public breakup with your first podcast mate. That makes me cringe.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

It was not that serious. No, I did. I was a different person then. That's actually, I'm not gonna waste time on it now, but that's something we could delve into later, like how we've changed and grown over the last few years. Serious subject. But yeah, yeah, I even tried to revamp it once before. Um, and nothing was wrong with that, just life happened, and we um we stopped recording for a long time. I felt too busy to edit it, and then part of an update, I went back to school, like we've been busy. So we're back now, and we just thought we would wipe to sleep.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Starting fresh. Yeah. Starting fresh and so clean. Yes. I wish I could be the song. If it wasn't copyrighted, that would be our intro. So fresh and so clean.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yeah, I love that song. I think it's a good song.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

You can sing it and then you can post it.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

I don't think I can do a falsetto like that, you know? Um, so yeah, I I weirded out earlier and I short circuited, but I I'm a Libra, Cancer Rising, Cancer Moon. So I'm just crying an emotional romantic sap, basically. I'm a crybaby. Just crying. My Instagram says Grim Weeper, so if that says anything. What? Um what's your Enneagram type? I'm a five.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:14

That means that I don't like a lot of overstimulation, and it means I want it that way. Just kidding. Um, what you you have actually taught me a lot more about Enneagram than I ever knew before. I'd taken the the test a long time ago and I I found it to be validating, but I didn't know much about it.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Yeah, so five, those are gonna be like your bookworms. The people that would much rather be at home reading their books and kind of like dissociating into that world versus having to go out and be in the world that they actually live in. Um they're also all about research and like knowing things for the sake of knowing. Instead of like going swimming in the creek to learn how to swim, they're gonna read about swimming and then they're gonna be like, I know how to swim, because I read about it. I read that once.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yeah. Um, when you were talking, I went, because I did remember probably one of the happiest things you ever told me about my type is that some some of my favorite people in the world who have ever existed dead or alive were type fives. And I was like, that's that's really cool.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Yeah. Yeah, I know. All of the horror writers, they just they can go in those dark places, they can allow themselves to go in a dark place. Whereas like a seven could never I mean they could, but I'm just saying they don't default, they they default to happy, happy, happy, you know, and it's not a five. Do you know your human design type? You also taught me that.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Thank you. I'm gonna believe I'm a projector, and at first I had an issue with that word, it has a negative con. I took it psychologically, like, I'm not projecting. Yeah, but that's not what it means. You're also gonna have to remind me a bit about that one.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

I mean, I r I remember, but I I'm not as well versed on human design, so I'm not gonna lie, I really kind of can't remember a lot of that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I may still have my result, like because I'm such a lesbo, the backpack I carry around it. It's like a purse, basically, like it's got everything in it.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

And it might still be in there, but I don't feel like now's the time to rummage for that.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yeah. So you're the you're the resident lesbian. You're the goth child of the night. Pull in double time on both those shifts, yeah. Yeah, you're the Libra. Uh-huh. The spooky bitch. Always. Alright. What else should we know about you? For anybody that has no idea who you are.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Something that's kind of like maybe like an a fun fact because I am pretty goth and dark and all that shit. I will whoop anybody's ass in some golden girls trivia. I will. Anybody challenge me now.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

It is it is your one interesting niche that's like, huh. This one of these things is not like the other, but you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Um, but what about you? What are your signs and your things and your Okay?

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Well, I'm Lauren. I am a Virgo rising. No, I'm not. I'm a Virgo Sun. Virgo sun, uh, Scorpio Moon, and Taurus rising. Um, so double earth and then some wada in there for my emotions. Um, I am an Enneogram eight. I think, I think I'm an Enneogram eight wings seven, though, the more that I get into it. Yeah. I really do. Yeah. Um, not that I'm overly like, guys, let's just be positive, you know, but like I definitely have a lot of FOMO where I just wanna I want to not feel like I'm missing out on certain things. We had this conversation earlier about picking food. Like I can't just be like, I mean, I can, but I don't I don't default to just going with the flow. I have to weigh out every option because I don't want to be regretful of my choice. Yeah. I don't want to miss out on what could have been the best meal tonight. Yeah. Anyway, um, I am a manifester uh human design type. What else am I? I don't know my like INFJ, I don't know that.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

I I know mine as in like I also I had to take two of those through college, like you get it for free because a lot of you'd have to take some type of class that requires that typically. Uh so I know mine, but I don't like remember right now, and it's also somewhere in a file or like on a paper. I don't remember. I'll have to find it, and maybe we could talk about that in another episode.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

I know. I just love personality tests. Yeah, they just they're so interesting and they're so spot on. And you know, it just goes a lot deeper than just you know horoscope. I I like it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

But even I I like them because like I also think horoscopes and and astrology are just as validating, but some people think it's hocus pocus, if you will. Uh, but these personality tests are often designed by scientists and psychologists, and I just think that's cool.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

So I'm pretty much the woo-woo, the weird, you know, I'm gonna tell you um not to wear traditional sunscreen because it's bad for your skin, and aerosol causes cancer, and there's microplastics in your Keurig pods, which is gonna affect your semen, Lindsay. Yes. Um, your what am I supposed to do with that information? Um, I really I am a yoga teacher. I um I don't know. I mean, I haven't always identified this way, but I just love it it feels so resonating. So I lately have been calling myself an earth-based spiritualist. Um I haven't always been the like most pagan person, but I do love learning about it more and it makes more sense. Um very earthy, very watery. Uh what else? I don't know what to say about me. You take you tell me about me.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

You I don't know. I'm gonna start being Chris I remember I'm a romantic person. Like it doesn't matter what what the situation I'm just like oh she's got these like green eyes that like actually side note, I think you can tell a lot about a person by the color of their eyes, but I digress. No, you're um I I I think it's cool that you identify with earthy spiritualism. Uh just you you're just um I don't know if this has to do with your astrology, but I've always thought of you as a down to earth and grounded person. You have your moments where you're like you actually can be very anxious and panicky sometimes, but but when it's not about something like that you really really care about, like your kids or something, you're most of the time like it's I'm fine. Like you're like it's fine. Um so I don't know, you're a comfort zone, as like speaking as an air sign, someone who's just a leaf in the wind, just woo, like no direction whatsoever. Like I've I've said this, I find earthy people to be really comforting and a nice balance for me. Um some earthy people can be very annoying. Uh it depends. Like Cappies go either way for me. Some I I like okay, and some can be a bit too fucking much. They're like Virgo's best friend. Yeah, I know. And well, seeing that's like Danny's your friend Danny is one who I like her. I I can do but I like my former boss. She's so extra, you know. So I yeah. Um what was I gonna say? And then Tauruses, you know, I've never been very close to a Taurus under other than my grandmother. And sh I was a kid. I didn't know I didn't know enough. I knew her as a young child. I didn't, you know, had um had she lived through my adulthood, I might have gotten to know her in a different way that now I could analyze that, but I haven't been close to very many Tauruses. So I can't say, but I don't know, there's a tangent just to say I find earthy people really um to be a cool balance for me. So we have that as a as like in our friendship.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Yeah. So I think, you know, just to kind of circle back around and and acknowledge um kind of where this podcast is going in a different direction than before. Last time I think it was just like the ADHD chronicles.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Um a lot of rambling. There were a lot of times that we would finish recording and you would upload it and it would be three hours long. And so we're gonna try to be a little bit more structured this time. We're gonna try to have like an actual theme. We're gonna discuss a lot of spirituality, we're gonna discuss a lot of ways that we've grown over the years. We're gonna discuss, you know, still the weird things that you love, like talking about aliens and conspiracies and um maybe bring in a touch of uh oh, I don't know, what do you call it? Um like some trauma-informed language, you know. Just kind of listening to the old podcasts feels a little cringe sometimes because, you know, we've just grown so much in that very short period of time. So, you know, just to kind of give a little bit of background as to where this is going in a slightly different direction. Um we're gonna take questions from listeners. Yeah. Like an advice section. You're gonna be like on the the Amanda show.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Like because I'm such a beacon of like mental health. I think you should ask me what like what you should do in life.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Um so let's talk about what's been going on with you over the last, I don't know, we'll say a couple of years.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Kinda.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

We yeah. We really haven't recorded in it's either just under two years or over two years.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Yeah. We did record that one and we never posted it.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Yeah, because I want I there was a ser a period of time where I wanted to do like a video podcast. I still wish we could. I think those are so fun, but that requires so much editing. So it's just not really gonna work out for us. Um, because we we do work full-time jobs and we're moms and we have just we have lives, you know. Um not to say people who do that don't. I just like we we don't get to do this full time. So um anyway, um, what have I d done? Um I I went back to school. Um, went back to college. I had been twice before, which sound saying that out loud, I immediately am like, oh, I sound like a failure, but that's just like that that mean shadow where like I wasn't a failure either time. I just wasn't ready the first time. I was very young. I went to college when I was 17 the first time. Um and I just wasn't ready. And then uh the second time I was doing kind of a a lot of medical programs fall under this, like not nursing, but stuff like uh I specifically I was going for sonography, but also radiography, people who do um they're physical therapists, like you get your prerequisites and then you have to do two years of clinical. So it's it's equivalent to college, but anyway, I realized once I finished all my prereqs that there was no way I was gonna be able to still work um as a single parent and afford my household and go get like my clinical hours. There just wasn't there was no way. And so I was I was disappointed in that for a while. Um to talk a little bit about that. I I'm not trying to like I'm not being I'm not exaggerating when I say that for a lot of my life I wasn't a very um a person who really believed in myself for a lot or about many things. So I'm not joking. When I went back to college at the age of 30 the first time, I that was the first time I really was like, I'm smart, like I can do this. And I like it was it's crazy. That's weird for me to say now, but like back then I just didn't believe in myself very much. And then when I was doing it and I kept like I kept up a 4.0 the whole time, I was like, holy shit. I used to just I just didn't do well in public school, like when I was a kid. In fact, I say I wish alternative school was an option for like in our city, it's only an option for kids who have maybe fallen behind, or like me, I was pregnant, so I went to an alternative school in high school and I but I thrived that way. It just worked better for me than like a regular school. So anyway, um, but couldn't finish that that last time I went to college and then this most recent. That was during COVID, right? Uh partially, yeah. No, yes, yeah. It was I went back in the fall of 2020. Yeah. And then finished my prereqs in the spring of 2021 and then realized I couldn't do anything else. Sure. So anyway, I go back this time. And according to you, I just have to talk about this because it I was recently talking about my impulsivities at times. This time it was about a haircut, but anyway, we were um I said something about like I don't remember, but it was almost like I said something like I don't spring things on you, and you were like, I seem to remember waking up to a text message to you saying you were just going back to school. And I was like, I don't think so. And you were like, No, it absolutely was.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Oh, it wasn't just that. It was like you spiraled so fast, and I'm not judging you, but I'm saying you really did, where you I mean, you had a job, but you were like, if I ever have to look for another job, I don't want to feel like I am just this big loser without a degree. And so even though I'm not looking for a job currently, um I'm going back, I think I want to go back to school so that I can never say that I don't have a degree anymore. And I was like, okay, well, maybe let's break it down and see where this is stemming from. And you're like, too late, I already applied.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

I rolled, like they accepted me, I enrolled, I paid.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

I was like, uh what? And you were like, I'm meeting with an advisor in like seven minutes. It probably wasn't that soon, but it felt like that. And I was like, okay, should we take a pause and really think this through? And you were like, I was like, Narmite, I was like, okay, well, this is what we're this is what we're doing. All right. And you know, I will say that like when you told me that, I did, I had these fears where I had to think of like are we going through something? Are we having a little bit of a complex? Are we feeling some kind of way or about ourselves and we feel like the piece of paper is gonna solve the problem for us? But like you did the damn thing. And not only did you do it, but like you fast-tracked it, so you did it in double time, again, half the time with a full oh, yeah. Sorry, double the workload half the time. Yes, yeah. I knew what you meant. Uh you did, you had a full-time job, um, a kid in high school, and you were getting it all done. And you did. And Summa Kumalao.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Hell yeah. I'm just kidding. Remember how I'm sorry, can I this is some type five shit. Tell them how mad I was when I picked up my degree and the Latin honors were in English. Oh, I know. I was such a like I've never been a snob in my life, but I was like, they're Latin honors. Why are they in English? Like, that was anyway. I'm sorry. But no, you reminded me of some stuff, and I mean you're like, oh my god, I forgot about that. That sounds pretentious, but I did forget about that part of it. You reminded me that yeah. So we've had a podcast since I was laid off from my old job, but I'm still I was a different person then. Um it I worked for a place where I I describe it, I became complacent. I didn't get paid enough. I actually hated most everyone I worked with, but ever since the pandemic, I never had to work in the office anymore. I got to work from home. So there was comfort in that. Like as an introvert, I didn't really deal with people. I definitely didn't deal with external clients. I just had to deal with co-workers sometimes and like show up to a teams meeting once a month. So I was like, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Um, so I was very complacent. But I I actually hate I was probably angry all the time. I mean, how much was I always just bitching about people? And so You definitely didn't like your job. Yeah. And it was obvious. And so anyway, when I found out I was getting laid off, I actually felt relieved. Because I I admitted even then, I said I don't think I was ever gonna leave if I wasn't forced out because or it would have taken more for me to leave because it I was complacent. So anyway, I get laid off and it doesn't hit me until I literally like don't have a job. I mean, not not to get into like some normally I wouldn't talk about finances. I think it's gross, but this is context. I had a I had a severance and I also had a 401k. So I was I was cushioned financially. I was really okay, but despite that, like you remember how depressed I was and I felt like a loser. But it came from like looking for a job and realizing how easy it wasn't gonna be in this town. Like I was trying I thought, okay, surely now I can find similar work as a quality analyst from home. And then when I just wasn't finding it for more than some shit like $18 an hour, I was like, I I know. Um, so yeah, I spiraled and I felt like absolute shit about myself. It was it was a dark time, and I didn't expect to feel that way about it. Yeah. And now I look back and I'm like, I was off for three months. That's the longest time I've ever had off since like being a child and being on summer break.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

And because I was so anxious, I didn't enjoy it.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Well, and I think that you know, there were multiple times that I was like trying to kind of bring you back down because that was another part of it, is that you were recognizing this in yourself, and then you were making meaning of that. So it was like you were having the feeling and then getting mad at yourself or having the feeling, and you were like, one day I'm not I'm gonna have a job again, and I'm gonna regret all this time that I spent moping around and being sad in my bed and not enjoying the three months that I had off of work. So it was like you were you were pre-stressing about it. Yeah, you were like, I'm gonna be mad at myself in the future. So I'm mad at myself now for making myself mad in the future. That's not that's how my brain works.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

It's really quite quite nice. Um sorry, you also that reminded me for I can give myself grace in remembering that someone very close to me was not helping, even though they thought they were. They were constantly sending me job posts, and I mean constant, to where it felt like I made me feel like a child. I was like, it doesn't feel like you're helping. I can look for my own fucking jobs, dude. Stop. And that was also what made me feel like I couldn't just be in the moment and do it on my own time. I felt this sort of pressure, like I had to prove something. Um anyway, and then then almost every time I applied for a job, not having a degree was so in my face because they put they want you to put your highest degree of education and quote unquote some college wasn't always an option. Sometimes I had to just put high school and for some reason that felt so shitty. I'm not saying graduating high school is still an accomplishment. Not everyone does that, but but I felt some kind of way about it because I I've done so much, I've learned so much, I know a lot. I actually am I'm a I'm a smart person, I'm a fast learner, and I couldn't prove that on paper, and it bothered me. Yeah, so that makes sense why you were like, are you just going through something? Like, that's fair. I analyzed even then. I was like, I went for con I also I went for psychology, and that was what I went for the first time when I was 17, and I I didn't um that I I just dropped out because I couldn't do it at the time. I was like, I want to finish what I started and a subject that I've never lost interest in. Um also I I told myself, I was like, when I get a new job, if it's a job where I feel comfortable after the first few months, like it feels pretty flexible, I might go back just to put something under my belt so that I don't feel like this again. Like you said. So I kept that promise. I was at my job for a couple months, and I that spring I started, I decided I was going back and I enrolled that summer and I started it.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

So yeah, you did. Despite me being like, Are you sure you want to start in the summer? 'Cause like I need a pool buddy. I need somebody that's gonna wanna get like tan and drink little drinky drinks. But I did, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:00

It wasn't remember both summers I was enrolled. I wasn't supposed to be the next summer, but I had to be, but I still do I was so annoyed that time I had my like psych book pool side and I was like I know.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

You took it very seriously though, and it was it was really respectful. You know, I have a child who is taking college classes and definitely doesn't take it as serious as you. And I think that was one thing that I always said to you when you were overstressing about certain like um homework assignments. I would say, bro, you're in there with some 18-year-olds. Like I guarantee that you are actually reading the stuff and you are actually doing it the way that you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Yeah. I very much pictured it like I even had a period there where I was I was really insecure about my like vocabulary and grammar and the way I spoke. How it part of that was like I never paid much attention to how I sound and speak until I started doing a podcast and I was forced to listen to myself and I thought I use a lot of filler words, I use repetitive word, and like I was very um I was judging myself too harshly, but I thought I sound like I'm not that intelligent and I didn't like that. It was weird, it was a weird face. I'm okay now.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Well, I mean, since graduating, what else is going on with you?

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Oh, sorry, yeah. That was just like a 20-minute stint of me.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Um this is the Libra, yeah part of you.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

This is why we need some structure. Believe it or not, we have more structure than we ever used to on the show. Trying to. We're already, we're over time, but it's okay. I don't what I'm not trying to be funny. What have I been doing? I don't know. What else besides school?

SPEAKER_00 23:34

I've been um I mean you read tarot, a local really cool bookstore that we have here. Um you've developed, you know, a little bit of a relationship with those ladies down there. And yeah. So you read tarot on the weekends. You um what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Well, I've I was gonna say, like, without going on a whole tangent, I don't know. I've we've I've grown even since then. Like I I wanted to continue my education beyond what I've already done, but um we also we both have seniors this year. So I have a child going off to college and I just thought I know I can't help her through everything, but um I you know, when I went to college, like neither of my parents went to college, and no no shame in that. Your mom goes to college. But my parents are boomers, you know, like they didn't it wasn't as h I'm not saying college is also not always the answer now, but I'm just saying my parents didn't exactly lead by example, so to expect me to do that shit. And you know, I just I felt really lost and I didn't have anyone to help me. So basically I tried to set an example for my daughter and say, like, I literally just did this. So like if you have questions, if you have like I can kind of help you, it's not as scary as it seems.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

That's all.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

So I took a break from that. I've been reading tarot for a little extra moolah and like whatever, and um, yeah, I'm just I I started writing a book, maybe kinda like there's that.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Um I think I think if I had to answer for you as the Virgo, okay, just telling you about yourself. Let me tell you about yourself. Um, since graduating, I think that you've done a really good job of like taking time for you. You kind of do what you want to do. You know, if you want to have a day where you just sit around and watch really crappy slasher movies, that's what you're gonna do. If you want to um, you know, write a book, that's what you're gonna do. Like you're following your ADHD plan pretty well. I mean, are we finishing any of these things? Your book takes time to be determined, but you're doing them. I am, and and you're taking time for you, and it's just like you said, you know, you're making yourself available to help your daughter when she's in her first year of college, and then kind of see where the wind blows you since you're just using your words, a leaf in the wind.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

I am well, and aside from like the job layoff and even the job switches that I've had, I've done a few different things. I've lived a few different lives. I used to be a b a vet tech.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

I used to like I've done other things. So um I've really learned that life changes and and you change as a person rapidly. Um I don't know if that's a generational thing because I feel like my parents never change nearly as much as I have in 35 years, but anyway, yeah, that's why I sort of have to reevaluate every once in a while. That is why I'm like, let me see how my daughter starts off in college and I will go from there.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

I'm okay at my job right now, but we'll see. Right. Like I'm just I'm okay with that. You're staying open. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Well good. What have you been doing since we last rapped? You became a yoga teacher.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

I did. I have done um I haven't gotten my second certificate, but I'm not worried about it. So I will just say I've done both my 200 hour yoga teacher training and my 300 hour, which will put me at a 500 hour yoga training. Um, I've done tons of different, um, I say tons, it's probably been like what two? Um, a couple of like continuing education. Yeah, you did Eckhart Tolling. I did. I did um, you know, a program with Eckhart Toling. I've just been doing a lot of classes that are not through um like a traditional college, university that is just really diving into myself, learning more about myself, learning the psychology of things, learning Ayurveda, learning um you know, all of those things. Um kind of dabbling, touching into some Hinduism, some Sikhism. Um currently I'm enrolled in Cauldron Keeper's School, which is essentially just like tell the freaking hogwarts, you know. Yeah, it's magic school. Yeah, it is. It's magic school. It's learning about, you know, um lunar archetypes and how we function under certain phases of the moon and um our own cycles, and we can get into all of that stuff kind of later. There's so many things, but I've just really um I've just gone inward the last probably three years and I uh trying to think of what else I've been doing. Um I kind of opened a little bit of a business that's in the spiritual realm. I make uh herb kits for uh little baby herbalists that want 60 different types of materials all in one aesthetically pleasing package. I make oils that are herb infused. I love crystals. Um what else am I doing?

SPEAKER_01 28:45

You built a pretty sick ass garden. I mean you did that even when we were last recording, but I don't think you talked about it. Like you really built a little garden area that you love to tend to every spring and summer.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

It looks like a freaking mess right now. Ugh, the weeds have just gotten so bad. It's a little overwhelming to get out there and tackle that. Plus, my skin is really sensitive. And so when I pull the weeds, it hurts.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Well, in fairness, we do live in a place like weeds are everywhere, but we live in like a bitch ass place. Like a fuck ass. Like if you go and be the desert, be the desert. But we don't where we live is like half desert, half I don't even know what you would call the other half. It doesn't rain enough here that things really it's like it's just humid enough here that grow that weeds can thrive, but like many other things cannot.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

They're not even fun weeds. It's not like dandelions. They're like it's like they're like demonic weeds.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Yeah, like they stab you. Like those vines from I I'm not joking, I'm not trying to be funny. I have a machete by the back door because some weeds are too their stalks are too thick if I don't stay on top of killing the weeds that you have to whack them like you're going through the goddamn like South American jungle.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Yeah. So um what yeah, I do I do like my garden. I'm taking it in a little bit of a different direction this year. Last year I was so overwhelmed with all of the herbs and all of the tomatoes and all of the things that I was successfully growing, um, and all the fuck ass cucumbers. And I'm so tired of making pickles. And I just I felt so overwhelmed. But it turns out I love growing the things and I love picking them and putting them in the basket and taking the picture, but then I'm like, I have to do something with this stuff now. Oh my god, it's like a whole separate side hobby.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Yeah, you were really you tried to you tried to do it though, like you took that whole like you were your your great grandmother in the Great Depression would have been so proud of your pick you're like the way you jarred everything and saved it.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Had to learn how to can. Yeah. My gosh. I yeah. So this time this one's a little different. Um, I'm trying to grow mostly flowers.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Because, you know, they'll either stay there in the garden and look pretty and beautiful and then die there in the garden, or maybe I'll pick them and make a little arrangement. Either way, no stress. Yeah. I don't have to do anything with them.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

You know, something else I would tell tell you about yourself or tell the folks about you is that you are a person, truly. Anything you become interested in, you can do. Sometimes you think it's too a fault because you do you're like, I could do that, and then you do it and you're like cam board. You monetize it, and then you're like, alright, did that. Like you've also lived a few lives. You've had other businesses. This is not your first business with your your baby witch herbs and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

This is my third one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

According to the IRS. So I don't know, you're just that kind of a person. So you've, you know, one of the first projects you did s when I was knowing you was making oils and um candles, metaphysical and candles and stuff. Um and you've just transitioned into other things, but you not really totally left that area, but it's become herb boxes and things. And I will say that as a business, she honors her shipments. Oh. Like if USPS fucks it up, she's gonna send you another one. Oh my gosh. There's just no question. Like, I don't know, you won't. You're a good business person in regard, that's all I'm saying. That drives me nuts.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

But you know, I don't have any Libra in my chart, right? I don't think I saw any. But I can't even sit here and judge you about your impulsivity because did I not tell you, like, you know what I want to learn how to make? Chapstick. And what did I do? Like, you made them. And then I send you a picture. I'm like, ta-da!

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Yeah, and I still have yet to get one, might I add? Shit. I'm just kidding. Well, I mean, I'm not kidding, but it's not that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

Well yeah. Well, uh, we'll talk about that. Oh, because I did grace myself to use your restroom earlier, and I see some of my other handmade products that are how are still in its original packaging, and I'm like, you're supposed to use those things. Okay, I'm sorry. And all of the oils that I've made you over the years, and like you're supposed to use these things. So, I mean, I'm just wondering if I give you an enchanted chapstick that I have made, are you gonna use it? Or because you're a lesbian, are you just gonna stick to aquifer? The answer to your question is both. Okay, well then next by next episode, I will give you a full PR package.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Thank you. Okay, okay. I before you reminded me of my lack of usage of your oils, I was actually gonna say that's how you show love. You have always like when I felt annoyed at work, you would make me these protection oils and these things for my like I think sometime one time you even gave me like um I forget what it you actually called it, because of course I'm going blank, but it's meant to be sunny and happy. And you gave happiness oil. Yeah, and you were like, because sometimes her sad. You've always been trying to think about me, and it's not because I don't like the oils, I do, but you you give an abundance. You were like, here's an oil, here's an oil, here's an oil, and I was like, awesome! And it's just one of those things that it's not like I don't mean to forget, but I get out of the shower and I put on lotion and I just go to bed. I don't think about putting on oil. It is body oil, but it doesn't, you know, penetrate the skin very quickly, and then like my dog's hair sticks to it. Like, I've just not really been a body oil person.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

You know, we can talk about this in another episode, but like, no, I'm saying how to use these things, the different like ways that you can use. If you ever come across a uh a magical oil in a shop and you're just like, I don't know what to do with this.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Well, you also and you gave me rollers. I still have my rollers at work and I would just roll them under my wrist. But this I I actually just thought of something. A good place to put some oil is behind your ear, but when I had long hair, I don't I was very OCD about not my hair not getting greasy because I only washed my hair ever so often. And I was very care I never wanted extra oil in my hair, and so I I usually refrain from putting it behind my ears. Now that's not really an issue. So um I just thought of that.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Um I'm trying to think of what I'm doing now. Um I feel like I'm so incredibly busy, but when I'm sitting here trying to list it, I'm like, oh, what do I do? Um you you just had a new niece pop out pop out of the factory. Yeah, it is. She is seven weeks old already. She is just my favorite thing. I think having her come into my life right before my oldest son graduates has been such a blessing because I'm not really ruminating on the fact that he's like growing up to that degree, you know. I can I I can turn around and and focus on the new um milestones that my baby niece is going through, you know, and so it just kind of feels slightly full circle.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Well, as a doctor, I have to ask you, are you is there something you're not dealing with though? Like are you only postponing your feelings for your son leaving?

SPEAKER_00 35:49

I think it's because we don't have any immediate plans of him leaving that it f doesn't feel quite like that yet. It doesn't feel real. I think that come the end of the year when he does start, um, and and I'll go into this in a second, but when when that becomes more of a reality, I think that's gonna be really hard for me. But right now, his immediate plans after graduation this week are to stay home. And so I'm like, oh, okay. So graduation just feels like just another thing, it doesn't feel as huge, you know?

SPEAKER_01 36:23

Yeah. Well, and I also think like I don't know another term to use, but you're gonna be sort of weaned into the empty nest syndrome because yes, you have this new niece, but you also have a young, a slightly younger son. So you're not just like becoming an empty nester cold turkey necessarily, it'll be through transitions. Like you have a a, you know, a young, new baby life in your family that you're focusing on. You have your older son leaving, but then your younger one will still be there for a couple more years at least. Yeah. Um, so you at least get to be weaned and we are different mothers in that regard where it's not like I'm like, yeah, as soon as my daughter leaves, but I um yeah, I just I try it in this I'm not gonna say I try like it's some sort of superpower I have, but I tend to have the ability in some situations to look at the glass half full or whatever, and which is not always a thing for me. But you know, even when she was younger, I I miss her young days for sure. But I always saw the good in her aging as well. Cause it was like, okay, well now now she can talk. Now she can tell me when she's sick, she can tell me if her tummy hurts. Like I always enjoyed the growth of each stage as well. Like, okay, we're on to middle school now. She's got braces, she's gonna feel better about her smile. Like, I tried to see, I wasn't like, it was just yesterday. Like, I was never that long. So so now that she's leaving, I know we're not like we're not the same like that. So now that she's leaving, it's weird, and I'm probably gonna be sad. It's been me and her for the last 18 years. I don't know anything different, but I am also a person that enjoys my solitude, so I'm still gonna like try and enjoy that for what it is.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

Yeah, for sure. And so what else has been going on with me? Um, you know, I do some trade work, some uh like graphic design trade work. So there's a little bit of that. I do still have a full-time job currently.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Um I'm sorry, I was gonna say, how many times have our friends hired you for free graphic design? I know no, you're good at it. Um, but yes, you do you have a full-time job as well on top of all this.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Yeah. I uh I'm trying to think. I I'm trying so hard to spend as much time as I can outside. And so fortunately and unfortunately, if the sun is out, I'm gonna be outside. Which means that anything that happens inside that should be happening, anything with a deadline, it's not happening. Um where's Lauren?

SPEAKER_01 38:46

She's outside. I'm still gonna point out the growth the growth in that though. You used to hate the sun. You and the sun had beef. We did, like no other.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

Well, I was also a lot fatter. Okay, well, wow. I mean, let's just be uh I mean it has a lot if you are a sweaty girl, like it's just not comfortable. Yep. And you're hot and then you start swelling, and so yeah, I I just You couldn't your your BMI changing has a lot to do with that. I I love being outside now. And even, you know, I went to Mexico in March, beginning of April, and everybody was like, girl, that humidity is gonna kill you. And I loved it. I was like, this is amazing. When a few years ago, when I was a lot heavier, going to Houston made me want to just absolutely die. Punch a baby in the face. Oh my god, it was so humid and I was so uncomfortable, and I didn't was not comfortable in my body, so I insisted on wearing pants, which at the time were like jeggings. So I'm wearing jeggings in July in Houston. And so I'm just miserable. And I want to be inside where it's a crisp 60 degrees. Yeah. Where now, if it's even like 70, I'm like, I'm cold.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

You are you do you are a cold girl now? Like, I'm like, is your iron okay? Like probably not. No, seriously, my whole not my whole life. Wow. Since I was pregnant and for several years after that, I'm sure I had an iron deficiency, so I was cold all the time. And I think I've since balanced out with that. And so it's it's rare that I know someone who's cold more than I am. Yeah. But like you're you're a cold girl. I am you're like a little frozen fish stick.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

I keep my desk heater, a frozen fish stick.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

Well, I'm not saying you smelled like one, I just said like that's like the worst seafood. Fish sticks are fucking gross. You know actually, fish sticks kind of go hard. I haven't had one in a long time. I don't like I was gonna say, like, you you there are a couple things in my life that food items that I used to think I didn't like because of a poor childhood experience. Fish sticks are one of them. The reason I don't like canned veggies and fish sticks are because I was a daycare kid. Yeah and they that's that's what they serve you because it's affordable. I would I would probably eat a fish stick right now. It has to have ketchup. No, I've I fucking hate fish sticks. I can eat fish. I don't like fish sticks. I don't breaded fish can fuck all the way off unless it's shrimp.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

What? All breaded fish?

SPEAKER_01 41:07

Okay, no, no, no, let me backtrack. I'm sorry. I would say like I would probably never want like some frozen items that you can heat up in your oven or microwave are fine with me. I don't think I would ever want frozen breaded fish like at home.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Oh my god. It would have to be from like Okay. This is not a plug. This is not sponsored. But if you want to sponsor me, I'll let you. Sam's Club has some bomb ass fried cod. Oh my, that shit's amazing. You just pop it in the air fryer.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Holy shit balls. Oh, I will say in fairness, maybe I've just had bad experiences with cheap frozen fish sticks, so it makes me think I hate all breaded fish. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Yeah. I yes, I would say that that's probably likely. Okay. During our next episode, we're gonna try fish sticks. Yay. Yeah, yeah. Then can I breathe on you? Like, ha. Has that ever stopped you? Touching. But I guess that's what's going on with me. Um, I spend a lot of time daydreaming these days. Don't worry. I want an escape from reality. Not to quote uh Bohemian rhapsody, but I want to be on the beach, I want to be poolside, I want to be in the water. I'm craving so much of that just in my life. It's written in my chart and yeah, so that's what's going on. I'm kind of like you in the sense that I'm staying open to whatever's gonna happen, and we'll just see how this summer plays out. You know?

SPEAKER_01 42:42

You know, on that note, I would have to say like another thing to update us or update about us both. First, I want to preface by saying it's been my thought my entire life. Like, say I had some lottery money and I could live anywhere and buy as many properties as I wanted, I would have always been torn between something in the cool mountains, like in the woods, and the beach. I also like the sun and the beach and the summer vibes. I'm like a Libra in that regard. I enjoy the best of both of those, so I wouldn't be able to choose. So I I want to preface by saying I'm also open to a beach life if that just happens to me. But um in late fall, right after I graduated, or rather, I didn't officially graduate, but I finished all my credits from college as part of a gift to myself and from you. We went to Salem. We went to New England, we went to a few places. Um, and you yourself said it. I didn't even say it, but I was very like emotional when I was there and didn't want to leave. I went to Stephen King's house, dog. That was fun. Yeah, she did. I got that was when I cried. I was like, it's Stephen King's house. I was like, oh, are we I thought you were joking at first. And I was like, oh, these are real tears. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Yeah. But but really it came from like I what I keep saying. I kept saying, people live here. Like I just I'd only ever seen the East Coast in movies. I was just sort of like a little Martian there. It was fun. But so anyway, there are many places I could live and I would be just happy as a climate. But you yourself were said that being in New England with in the fall with all the gothy shit that we did, you were like, it was like being in your soul. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

It was like I feel like that's where you're supposed to be. That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

You know, like it felt but really you were like, Do you you seem like you belong here? And I'm like, yeah. So I have I'm not trying to just throw this a word with this word around lightly, but I've been pretty depressed since then, like escapy, feeling like I'm I'm not happy in my current like life and in the city I live in, and I want that's kind of why I started to see like, could I write a story and turn it into something? Maybe not. But what if I did? So I'm just I'm just trying different things, and you have definitely been that way since getting back from Mexico.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Oh my gosh, it was really bad. It's still I think because I booked another trip on the beach that it's kind of taken a little bit of that away. Yeah, you've been happier. I have been because now I'm planning a new trip and I'm like, yes! Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

I get to go back. I I'm gonna go ahead and speak for you and tell the people about you that you are um Well now I lost it.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

No uh hold on. Me planning a new trip. Oh, that I'm like a travel agent? Is that what you're gonna say?

SPEAKER_01 45:11

You are like that, but no.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Um planning a new thing.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

You oh you often, because you're the grounded earthy person, you are the planner for everyone. So kind of along those lines, you are a travel agent. But in general, I think you've been a mom for so long. Even as a partner, you're like the person who's like, okay, well, we'll do this. Like you're the plan maker, you're the you have to make all the decisions, and you can, but because of that, you're so fucking tired of it. Yeah. And so you said, you know, in Mexico, everything was planned for you. You got to just exist in the day, and you didn't have to have a thought in your head if you didn't want to.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

And that m I could tell that was sort of cathartic for you, but that's been a big part of what you've been missing since you've been back.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

For sure. And we can talk about that, you know, in another episode, the difference and what you know, what I learned there about myself. And because you know, I didn't I didn't have a good couple of days there. I was actually not having a chill time, or straight up not having a good time, straight up not having a good time. Um, but we'll we'll can talk about that, you know, in some of the future episodes. Um we're gonna, like I said, we're gonna be a little bit more structured this time. We're gonna actually wrap it up in an hour this time. Um and go through different topics, and we're always open to any topics that anybody wants to throw our way. But I think my new favorite segment is gonna be um we need to think of a title for this.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

Is it like love letters to Kelly?

SPEAKER_00 46:37

That's do you remember that show? Oh yeah. I only just recently stopped listening to that morning show, but it's like a ask, like a like an advice column kind of thing, but it's like we are millennials, can you tell us? Ask the Libra, ask the Virgo. So the premise is essentially I'm gonna read to you a question that was asked of us. Okay, you're gonna give your Libra answer, I'm gonna give my Virgo answer. We're gonna see how different they are, and hopefully this person will get some help. Um, or they'll actually seek out like professional help. Then they'll say these two bitches are so today's question comes from Donna, and she says, She says, I'm 34 years old, and I just realized that I have no idea who I am outside of my job and my relationship. Is this a crisis or is this just Tuesday?

SPEAKER_01 47:38

Sorry, I I immediately have to be a Libra, like I have follow-up questions. Are you married? Are you a mom?

SPEAKER_00 47:44

Well, she said her relationship and her job.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Technically relationships. So we can assume friends, maybe she's a parent. Um you know. Let me make sure I understand this.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

So she's not sure who she is outside of these relationships. And her job and her job. Is it a crisis or is it a just a Tuesday? Again, gonna be a Libra. I wouldn't say it's ex is it it's as extreme as a crisis, but I do think it's a bigger deal than it being a Tuesday. Um many of us, and I say us, so notice this is me included, many of us. We are conditioned to find validation only from external sources. So that may be what's happening here. She's kind of just maybe been a person who devoted herself to other people and situations and never really focused on herself. So now she doesn't know who she is outside of things. And that's uh I'm not gonna be like this no bueno, but like, yeah, you you have to know you and accept you. So yeah, I would say it's something to look into more than just in fairness, as women, you know, sometimes it's like, am I just like hormonal or did is this a thing? Like me. Do I just need to do I really need to cut my hair or am I just going through something? Is is Mercury in retrograde? So what's your advice to um well again without much context, I would just say I'm this is easy for me to say as an introvert, but hermetism is sometimes a good thing. You might need to, as the the tarot would say that I'm pulling the hermit card for you metaphorically, which means you just need to take a step back from people and things if possible. Like if you're like a mom of a four-year-old, I don't expect you to be like, fuck off Tyler, but like Tyler, yes, Tyler. Fuck off Tyler. But um, but no, I would say spend some time alone and really do some introspection. Um, if you're not sure how to do that, I would maybe recommend like some shadow work prompts that might be a bit too deep, but sometimes they're now in the age of the internet, you can find a lot of guides for this stuff for free. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

Okay. I think that's some pretty sound advice. I don't think that my Virgo advice would be very different. I would say kind of along the same lines is if you don't know who you are outside of those, then it's time to find yourself outside of those.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:02

And I mean the duh. But I'm saying, like, obviously you don't work 24-7. I mean, the way that she worded the question makes me think she's not like a stay-at-home mom, that she has a job. Yeah, eventually you're leaving the job at some point during the day. Okay, and again, I don't know the situation. It wasn't expensive. Right. And so either way, find somebody if you're a mom who cannot walk away from their child, and I don't mean for a prolonged period of time, but for a night, for a weekend, like ask for help. Yeah, like it's really important to find community, and I know that that's really hard for a lot of people. Yeah, but the first step is like asking for help, ask for what you want. So if you have a parent that's close by or a friend, like, hey mom, can you watch little Tyler? Little Tyler. Yes. Um, while I go like take up a new hobby, you know, if you've always wanted to learn salsa dancing, go do it. Yeah, you know, um, if you anything that has interested you, just you just have to start. Yeah, find yourself alone. And I think that that's the most important thing is like some people are so scared of being alone because they don't know what to do once they're the only person they can talk to. And being inside of your head can sometimes be a really scary place.

SPEAKER_02 51:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:41

And so people surround themselves with other people constantly, and then they gen like they just genuinely don't know how to be alone. I know so many people like that.

SPEAKER_02 51:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

And you don't know who you are if you never sit with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

Like if you don't, if you were if you have never been like your sole company for a long period of time, you're not gonna know who you are.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

Totally. You know, I've only found myself in the last three years, and I mean, I'm still I think that we change all the time. Can I just ask a question? How long have you known me? Four years? Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

Almost four? I was trying to be funny and make it up and be like, so how long have you known me?

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Yeah. I mean, we can talk about that later, about how things just completely shifted, but um not to sound like Annie and what's her name and Bridesmaids talking about like, do people ever really change? Like, I think they do, you know, but um I think in order to feel change, you kind of have to make you have to just make a first step. You know, and like you said, shadow work is a good place to start, but I think just just making a small step and um finding maybe a new hobby, going and hanging out with a friend that you know, in a different kind of setting, you just have to change something to find something. It starts with small stuff, yeah. You know, and again, if you're if you're married, if you're in like a long-term relationship, a lot of times people get so stuck and hellbent on doing everything together, together, together, but not everything has to include your person.

SPEAKER_02 53:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:19

And a lot of times it's better for a relationship to have some distance in there where your person has their hobbies and their things, and you know, they go out and hang out with their friends, and sure, maybe they're your friends too, but having if you're unable to find situations where you feel happy apart from these people, then that's a tail sign that it's time for you to find some independence.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Yeah. Um, so I was gonna I thought of something too that it it all depends on your personality and what you might enjoy, but self-care is a really good way to also get to know yourself. If you can't maybe physically step out of the home, but say this is again we're assuming, but say you you have a husband in the home with little Tyler or a partner, I'm not gonna assume it's a husband, but if you have a person, you know, who can just take over. No, you salsa dancing is a great idea, like as an example, but you also can just like go take a bath. Oh yeah. You know, and I'm not just saying that though it's like baths are soothing. I don't care who you are. I know often in movies like women are the only ones depicted as self soaking and self-caring and self-soothing, but no, just some you time enjoying something that you like. Yeah, is I would start there, the small stuff.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

And then I wouldn't be me if I wouldn't say something along the lines of go outside. You know, go talk to yourself, you know. Do you know how many times I talk to my I therapise myself all the time. All the time. I do, I therapise myself. But I'm saying like you know, we have a canyon here where it's really easy to be out in nature and talk to yourself when there's nobody around. Yeah, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:09

So yeah, I just think like it's I've I've really that's an interesting headspace to get into because I I've always been kind of a weirdo and a bit of a a loner in some ways. So I don't know what it's like to not talk to myself. And I forget that sometimes you have to tell people like no one's around, you're not weird if you like talk to yourself, it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 55:26

Yeah. I will say, you know, to go a little bit deeper to this question, you know, we tie a lot of our self-worth around the roles that we play for other people, you know, and so taking a step back and realizing like why what is my role at work? Am I a leader that's constantly praised? Do I get that kind of validation from being that person? Am I the people pleaser that everybody just kind of walks on because they know that if they ask me, then I'm gonna say yes? Like, but then I get that validation for being like the good employee, the one that can the dependable employee. What is your role at work? And also what is your role in your relationships, whether it be romantic or friendship. And I think just beginning to dissect those things can really help you understand your motivation for continuing to show up as this person in these settings. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think that that's uh honestly the best way to go about it and uh begin that transition.

SPEAKER_02 56:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

Well, I wouldn't say that our answers were too different. No. We did it. High five.

SPEAKER_01 56:51

I don't see us uh f disagreeing on fundamentals of stuff, it's more like methods.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. I think that there could be some situations where your answer differs from mine, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

I think it would be fun if we ever eventually get some like relationship questions. I'd be like, dump it. And you're gonna be like, wait, wait, wait. Cut his balls off. You know. He's no, he's nobody's dead to me. So he's dead to you. He's dead.

SPEAKER_00 57:19

Okay. So once again, this is gonna be so much fun. Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this right now? Because we can?

SPEAKER_01 57:30

Uh 'cause we can. No, I feel like every everybody and their mom has a podcast anymore, and that's great. I think there's room for everyone. But I've always found it funny that I'm I'm not great at listening to other people's podcasts yet. I have the nerve to make my own. But I hope I I do. It's I hope some I don't know. I hope somebody finds maybe some something they needed in this, whether it's just entertainment or advice or some sense of like um I don't know the same reason we watch movies and you know, watch other things. Like you might find some type of something you needed in our show. Um, we always enjoyed doing this. It was just like making time for it and organizing it and whatever. I've tried some different things. Like I wanted to do true crime stuff for a while, which I I don't hate, but I didn't keep up with it very well because I cared about getting the facts straight and all that stuff, and it it was a lot more work than I realized because I cared about sit the situations. Yeah. Um totally. That was like the longest way of answering your question. But I don't know why we're doing this. It's we enjoy hanging out together, we enjoy doing it. Even if nobody ever hears this, we enjoy it. But on top of that, I hope that other people get something out of it. I mean, this is just what we do all the time anyway. We just yap about like life and yab and gab. We're just some yappers. I was gonna say, I think yappers do well on podcasts, like so.

SPEAKER_00 58:55

Well, here we go. Yeah. I mean, why not record our yapping and we upload it? It's genius. We say some profound shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:06

This is this is gold, you guys. You're getting this content for free. You know, by gold, she means the time that she was talking about bodybuilder competitions and she went blank and she said, you know, those like muscle pageants. There are times I feel I wish our conversations had been recorded because they're just like stupid and funny. It is a muscle pageant. It is. It that's the thing, that's what made it so funny. Is I was I thought you were actually dissing on them. I didn't know you went blank. That was like an M level diss. Bitch ass muscle pageant. What they are. It's like, look at my muscles. Oh, it's so cute with your spray tan.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

They shave everything. Oh my gosh. All right. Well, we look at us. Oh my gosh. We have kept it to an hour. This is amazing. Yeah, we've never done this before. Okay, this is how we're gonna sign off. You ready? Okay, okay. For dark bone full moon, this is Lauren. And we'll catch you next time.