Episode 4 - The American Nightmare: Nobody Warned Us About Monday

Lynnsey recaps some details from her cruise, and Lauren shares some hilarious stories from her own past travels. From Belizean beaches to gloomy gummies, the topics are never stayed on, but the adventures are endless.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

We're back. Are you back? We were never really gone because it worked out that we yapped so much about religion that we broke up the episode into two, so we still aired last week.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

I know. Look at us, we're doing the things. Yeah. On accident. So that's true. I also just think that we missed hanging out with each other. Yeah, we didn't we never don't hang out. I know, but I'm just saying, you were gone for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Can I, because we talked about religion last week, I just want to say two things that I promise I'm gonna wrap up with something positive, but I'm okay, bitch, for a second.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

So hold on, hold on. Welcome back, guys. Yeah. This is full moon. No. Oh my gosh, I keep doing this. Dark moon, new moon. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's dark moon, full moon. Dark moon, full moon. What is this? What do you mean? I'm the dark moon and you're the full moon. I know. I'm struggling today, guys. Um, I'm one of your hosts, Lauren. I'm Lindsay. And all right, let's go into what were you saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:16

So I'm on my way back to the panhandle of Texas on Highway 287. We know it well. And I passed this billboard. I passed several religious billboards. That's typical, have you found Jesus? All that shit. But the one that really it's Jesus is the answer to all your problems. And we talked about this last week. It's like assigning all blame, expectation, work to some intangible force. Yeah. So I just I that doesn't sit well with me.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

I understand that to them they're like just turn to Jesus. That like it's fine to have some faith, but Jesus is not the answer. I think I I need you to come back, homie. Will you please come back and tell people you're not the answer, but living as you did would be the answer? Because the same people who say that are probably the ones that maybe were yelling faggot at Pride today at the park. That's true. I didn't even hear it. You heard it. I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

But I loved the queen who heard it. He just goes, Yes, I am. Yes. I love that your ears and their ears both perked up like a mating call.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Oh gosh, you know, yes. But on a serious note, maybe we can save this for another time. But we talked to Smidge about it that it's supposed to be a time of enjoyment, but there's this awareness in the back of many of our minds that we're making ourselves targets if somebody wanted to do to just be an asshole. Or worse, you know, like no one who went to Pulse Nightclub in Florida that night thought that. Right. Anyway, that's actually not what I wanted to talk about. Yes, there was that billboard, but then we were on our way to your house right now.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

There's this billboard that said God created Earth and it has the symbols of evolution, like going from apes to humans, just X'ed out all big. I don't like these these religious people that get into Texas legislation and they have evolution removed from science textbooks.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Those are the first ones that we'll throw out um racist examples of evolution when it comes to people of dark color. Yeah. Um, so very picket they don't want to believe that they evolved, or they want to believe that they are the superior was created and on the seventh day kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

But yeah, it's like they think that belief is gonna somehow separate them from people of color. Yep. And so that's kind of what I wanted to actually bring this back and say. So I'm in beautiful Belize just a few days ago. Even in in Mexico, where k Catholicism is rampant because of the way it was colonized, but regardless, the island people, these free people who have to work in this tourist business, which I gotta say, I I could never, and they do it with such grace and happiness. They all had such good energy to be around. Um, anyways, I I feel like every per person I met on a different excursion was just like, thank you guys, you know, so much for hanging out with us, blah, blah, blah. But they all ended with, and may God bless you all. And I just have to say that I do realize a lot of my animosity comes from this southern religious zealousy version that I have, it's all I know, so it immediately just gives me the ick, and I get irritated. But nothing about the way they said that, it sounded genuine. It was genuine and it was authentic, and they it wasn't their entire personality. Yeah, not once was that brought up. They simply said, May God bless you all, and it felt like they meant it. Like just they have an actual belief in a creator and not this this like whatever that comes with it often around here, the closed-mindedness and stuff. So I just that crossed my mind. I was like, damn, we talked about religion last week. I can't really spend a whole other episode on it, but right anyway.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Okay, cut. Hi, future Lindsay. You look really cute today.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Future Lindsay looks cute today. Are you talking about past Lindsay, which is technically present? So present Lindsay looks a little sloppy.

unknown 5:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Anyway, okay, so so let's talk about that. Where I mean, I know that I alluded to it last week, um, or actually not last week, but the last time that we recorded, that when the episode came out, you would be on a boat. Yep. So I want to hear all about your trip. I mean, I I've heard bits and pieces, but like I really want to know. Like, so so tell us where where all did you go?

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Okay. Well, first I feel like I want to. This was my daughter's graduation present. I didn't know where to take her, and you had this wonderful idea of you really do get the most bang for your buck with these things. But I also have to say that I agree with you. We have to talk about serious stuff for a moment and just say that the it it's hard to want to do again because of uh from morality. You know, like everybody I talked to you about how empathic I was to everybody on the ship, like just the idea that anyone's complaining and treating them like shit. But was it was probably the worst when I was in Costa Maya seeing the village and how the some of the people are having to live in tourism is their main economical, what would you call it, like support system? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

It's it's the way that they make money, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

It's like, and still to see how much poverty was I mean, next to the port, it's not far. You like turn into the jungle, and I told you I saw this little girl in her little pink outfit, barefoot, playing on her porch and in the dirt, and her family selling fruit out by the road in front of their house, and so many thoughts come to my mind. I'm like, maybe they're happy. What if they're not? You know, it's it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

I think it has a lot to do with person like I don't know. I obviously have not lived anywhere else and I haven't had a lot of conversations, but sometimes you can't miss something or long for something that you don't know. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

I know I had that idea, so I'm not trying to like, oh my goodness, like I don't like the white savior thing. That's not what I mean, but it's like you just am I helping their economy really? Or am I you know there's a there's a moral dilemma with going on one again. And you understand that thought. You felt the same because you had gone on a couple and you said you like how much food is wasted on the ship by almost everyone, and um, I mean, I I don't want to waste too much time on that, but it was just it was it was moving in in a lot of ways, and so I would I wouldn't take it back, you know, but it was it was hard. Um so to answer your question though, I went to Costa Maya, which is the port that's right outside of a village called Mahahual. Mahawal. I'm not sure if I'm saying it right exactly. That's kind of counterintuitive to my English brain to say mahawal, but I thought that was cool. Um and so this is um part of Mexico technically, but closer to Central America where the Maya resided. So if you've ever, if anyone ever paid attention to geography, a lot of the Aztec, there were more tribes than this, but the three major ones that you learned about the Aztec, the Maya, and the Inca. And so the Aztec were near mu a much of Mexico into North America, the Maya a bit further down, and the Inca were down by like Peru. Yeah. And those smaller areas. So this is a Mayan region, if you will. So we stopped there first, but it's the furthest point away. So I got to go see some Mayan ruins, which I've wanted to see for almost 20 years now.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Oh, I should have had you bring me back some Mayan honey.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yeah, there was there was all kinds of like pure vanilla from that area too, and jars and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Why didn't I do that?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Because I brought you a necklace, girl. No, I know, but why didn't I send you money to bring me those things? I'm joking. I'm gonna talk about that in a second, though. But um, but yeah, so that's where I we went first. Um, and I've had this great opportunity while we were literally touring the ruins. Uh, Maya artisan crafted some custom necklaces for us. And it was like this way of I loved that. That I wasn't because I don't know how this works. I don't know how much these companies take that these people work for. I don't know how much Do you know what I'm saying? How they directly support them.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Yeah, like how Like you're paying Carnival for the excursion and you're wondering how much of it goes to Carnival versus how much goes to the the I see what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

That exactly, yeah. So we find out on the bus that this girl made a wonderful speech where she's essentially saying like art is dying in so many ways because of aside from this AI dilemma, like we've been able to get things made cheaply in these countries with sweatshops that employ children. We know the thing, right? So she's like, a lot of artists don't want to, they don't want to do this anymore. It's not worth it to them. Yeah. They're you know, so she makes this whole thing about how you could support these people and try and maybe get them to come out here more often and make more money. Like they were trying to convince these other people to do this. Not to quit. Right. Yeah. So they're like, if you feel so inclined, inclined, please do so. So she passes around these charms, and I'm like, oh, this is awesome. So I get myself a protection one, I got you a moon one. Um, I would love to be in to nerd out about the gods and goddesses they believe in and why the sun and the moon were significant, but maybe maybe another time. I just I got to do that, which was really cool. I have I got some awesome pictures because of the way the the sun was that day and it was cloudy. Yeah, so I it I'm not trying to be like so like uncultured, but the movie Apocalypto that came out forever ago, it looked like a cover for something like that because I get a picture of my daughter near the top of a temple with like the sun behind her. It just looked really cool, is all I'm saying. Um, so anyway, from there we went to Belize, which is part of Central America, and chairs like it's kind of weird how most of the time we were in the Gulf of Mexico. I'm just gonna put that out there.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Did you see?

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Did I send you a screenshot where my phone said both? Yeah, I love that at least your phone acknowledged both. I was annoyed that mine was saying the Gulf of America, and I thought, are we really entertaining this dick bag Cheeto?

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Like Yeah, mine said but what was it? It was like Gulf of Mexico, open parentheses, Gulf of America, close parentheses. Yes. I was like, what the f what the fuck are you entering? It's a very never mind. I know, yes. Are we non-binary?

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Like Yeah, like this is the they them ocean. Right. Like it's funny who's the irony of who started all that. I just I don't want to talk about it other than to say when that Use the correct pronouns. When that was one of that absolute fart of a man, his first order of business was to change the name of the gulf. I just I kind of rolled my eyes and I never followed up. I didn't know how serious that was taken, like if he actually did it.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

I'm sorry. I find it so funny. This is not even on topic, but you know they just removed his name from the Kennedy Center. But like I find it just hilarious that he's like, so I'm gonna come in and this here's this Kennedy Center, and we're just gonna write the words above it, like the Donald J. Trump and John F. Kennedy Center. Like, that's like writing your name on that's like when you would add it on a banner. That's like that's like the time that I forgot to go get someone's birthday gift, and I like my friend Carlos didn't forget, and so I just signed my name at the bottom of the card, like Anne Lauren.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

I got you one better. Like, there was a time one of my really funny my cousin, my Virgo cousin, she has a she always had a pretty funny sense of humor. But anyway, I'm turning like 16 or something when you're we're teenagers, and she couldn't find a cousin birthday card when she gets one that says grandpa, and she just marked it out. Like, you're the best cousin anyone could ask for. I don't know why. I always thought that was like peak humor back then. Anyway, I'm sorry. So sorry. So Belize, but Belize is part of the Caribbean Sea. Yeah. So that was the most gorgeous water like visually, and it was warm. And I got to pet a pregnant stingray and like rub the belly of a nurse shark, and you know, I'm a I have really strong opinions about zoos, yeah, and what what types they are, but this felt awesome because first of all, these guys get fed. They give they put like a thing of sardines at the bottom to get them to gather so the tourists can see them. They tell you, like, don't you dare touch them or like mishandle them or anything. Like, I love that they care about keeping the environment safe for the animals and everything around them, and also they're in their natural habitat, they're not in aquariums and cages, and it's not sea world, you know what I'm saying? Um, so that was probably fun. I I probably love being in Belize the most.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Um, yeah, so I don't know. I feel like there's so much I could say. But then our last stop on our way back uh through the Gulf was in um Cozumel. So in there we didn't do any, we didn't do an excursion. We did this beach club thing where you just you pay a flat fee and then you get to eat and drink as much as you want and hang out on the beach. And so that was that was fun, but still the other stuff it stays in my heart more because it was like cultural things. Excuse me. So I don't know. I just I loved being around the you know I nerd out about this stuff. I'm fascinated by languages and cultures and things um of the that sort. So we're in Belize, and our um one of our many tour guides, if you will, on the boat, she starts to explain. You may hear our accents, um, which sounds very similar to what you think a Jamaican accent sounds like, except we're not. We're most of us are Creole from this area, and there are different kinds of Creole too. Some people don't know that. There's French, there's Spanish. It just depends who who wouldn't keep their weenie in their pants in that certain area. Like, okay, I'm serious. Keep your ween where it is, but that's why different areas were colonized by these fucking people from Europe. So that's how we get what we get today. So you can try and see the beauty of it, but let's not erase what happened. Do you know what I'm saying? Anyway, they were just so fun to listen to, their sense of humor was awesome. They were so charming and funny, like genuine. Yeah. And even like our tour guide, she's like, I'm not trying to be insulting by sort of mocking her accent, but that's that's part of what made it funny. But she's explaining that she's Creole, and she was like, So you will almost never hear me speak English except on a day like today when I am being paid to do so. Like, I don't know. I just I loved her, she was cool.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Anyway, so and then after that you went to Cosmo. Cosimo. Yeah. Did you so just now you're talking about Belize?

SPEAKER_01 15:22

Yes, but I said that in Cosmo we just did a beach club thing.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Right. So But what was your I mean so was it just chill? Did you what else did you do on the beach club?

SPEAKER_01 15:32

So on your way, because the beach club is not right there at the port. You have to take a taxi. Yeah. How was the taxi experience for you? They were they were really wonderful, actually. Like most they all are bilingual. They appreciated that we were trying to use our Spanish, which one second, porteur. I'm just kidding. Um, I will be the first to admit that my Spanish is not great. And the um to be specific, my accent is fine enough, but it's my vocabulary is pretty small. So I don't sound very intelligent, I'm sure, if I'm talking about something serious that's not just regular um conversation. But that said, I was trying to just, you know, it just depended. If they were just going off in English and seemed really comfortable with it, then I just I would continue that way. But we would try. It's hard to explain. But my point is, here's where I surprise myself. Like it was a nice little compliment that some people there was a lady in a t-shirt shop, and she's like, Oh, your Spanish is really well. Where are you from? And we just say Texas, and she's like, Why do you speak Spanish? Like, and I'm like, not trying to be like, well, I don't know if you know this, but maybe she doesn't know. She's from a place like down in Mexico. Maybe she doesn't know how heavily populated Texas is with Hispanic people. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

I well, if I can for just a second. You know, I went to Mexico a couple months ago and had a conversation with one of the workers at the resort that I was staying at. Yeah. And he made comments about um just how much of a divide there is between Hispanic people that think that even Mexicans that live in Mexico, but up by the United States, so like on the California border and on the Texas border, they're not real Mexicans to them. Oh they're like, no, that's that's like Step Mexico. That's like half, you know, that's like Step America. I don't remember what he called it, but so they look at Texas Mexicans like like cog play.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Yeah. I'm like, I'm so I was born here. Like, but no, you know, I've heard that. Like my my daughter's dad's side of the family are all from Cuate, which is part of Chihuahua. And apparently people from like Chihuahua be beefing with people from Jalisco or something, like it's a thing. They even think they speak differently. It's it's a whole thing. So so anyway, she was nice, but she just seemed she literally was like, Why, why do you speak Spanish? And I said, Well, we're Mexican, and then I kind of shake my hand like, you know, well, I'm I say we're Mexican American, and I just kind of do this with my hand, like maso menos, like, and so she's like, Oh, like she complimented us basically. It was genuine. She wasn't like, Oh, very nice. Like, she was she was genuine. Nice, nice, nice, top five. And so she just kept on, like, it was very easy to communicate with her, but I have to say, so then I'm like, yes, like I'm doing well here, right? But not like me. Oh gosh, can we tell that story in a minute? Sure. So anyway, but earlier, it's as I started to say, the port is right there, and then you have to walk through. They actually force you to walk through this, it's sort of shaped like a tunnel along the bridge, but it's a it's a shop. Do you remember this? Getting off at the port? It's like it's got fucking liquor, it's got tobacco, it's got Gucci. The pharmacies. Yes, like they force you to kind of walk down the bridge to the port is a store. Oh, yeah. To see if you'll but then outside of the stores, it's like a little, um, I wouldn't even say flea market, but pretty much any vendor show. People come and set up the stuff that they make, but I'm looking at it and I'm no offense. It's just it's very, it's tourist stuff, it's stuff you can order online. This is why this necklace is so special to me. Well, it's also duty-free, you know. Yes, exactly. It's literally says that everywhere. Like, so that said, that's why this necklace is special. Um I s a Mayan artist made it. Absolutely. This is stuff that's it's just not bad, you know. So anyway, so then you have to walk through these shops to even get to where the taxis are. And then again, I don't know how much the English is popping just yet. You know, I'm walking through and I'm in my mind just about to be like, donde agaramos un taxi. Like, am I see I'm already impressed. I'm like, well, I really should have agarramos. Like you gotta What is that? It's the double R in Spanish. Well, I know, but what what word are you saying? Oh, I'm trying to it's like we're to gra to get something. See, say what does Paul I D say? Oh, taxi son acqui. But they're saying taxis, cabs, here you know that was the thing. Italian's not far from Spanish. Anyways, no, the double R. You have to say it's like how when you get in trouble, you don't say Guerrero, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:07

I never will. No, I know.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

Like you have to so anyway, I've got to draw a lot of.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

That's my maiden name, by the way, in case anybody thinks that I'm just dogging on a random last name.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

No, yeah, no, that was that was her maiden name. I'm sorry, we're off topic. So, anyways, I'm already in my head, like, where do we get a taxi, right? But then these dudes stop us and they're they're doing that's what I was I started to talk about. I'm trying to respect the hustle here, but you can't fucking walk through this area without people being like, Hey, beautiful ladies, can I get you something? Can I get you? And like it's overwhelming eventually because they're everywhere, they're on every side of you. You can't escape it. You're forced to walk through this area, and again, I know you guys are just trying to make money, but I can't even like window shop because you're it does become this sort of forceful hustle. Come on, come on, two minutes, two minutes, and they act like you're being rude when you're like, I gotta go.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Can I tell you a quick story that's like the same same vibe?

SPEAKER_02 21:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

So the la no, the first cruise that I went on, we stopped in Jamaica. And so I've been to many, many a port where everything that you're describing, same thing happened. Um, in Jamaica, though, um, they would try to get you into their shops, right? Yeah, but if you didn't, they would like start roasting you. They would they were mean to you. They would be like, they would call you rude American girl, like they were just kind of hackling you if you said no. And full transparency, I am a friend of marijuana, okay? And you're in Jamaica, yeah. What do you want to do? Yeah, you want to fucking smoke weed, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Yeah, who's got the weed?

SPEAKER_00 21:47

And so we we did not have an excursion. It's me, Zach, and Melissa. Yeah. And we are just walking through the shops and doing all the things trying to find some weed, right? And of course. One girl's like, no, I got you. Like, follow me if that's what you want. So we're following her through all these shops and like or past all these shops. And one girl is like, no, no, no, miss, don't go with her. Right? Which sounds, I mean, now at my age, I'm like, that's a little concerning. Yeah. But she's like, don't go with her, don't go with her. Like, I have better stuff. Like, whatever she's trying to give you, I have better stuff. Come with me. And they start getting into an argument, like on the street.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

And what so then we're walking, we leave her, and she's yelling and all these things. And the girl that we're following is like, don't listen to her. She's a runaway slave. Yeah, you do. And I'm like, what? Okay. Like it's holy shit. What? Oh my God. And I will tell you that the N-word is incredibly frequent there. Yeah, but it doesn't mean this it doesn't have the same um meaning behind it.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Yeah. And I just want to say before we get roasted for that. Trevor Noah has talked about this too because he's from South Africa. Yeah. So because that was a derogatory term used in the US, it doesn't mean the same to them.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

But no, it just was like, okay. You know. All right. And that's when, you know, the the cab driver. So just real quick, I'm gonna tell you this. That's why I asked about the cab experience, because the cab experience in Jamaica could not have been further from what your experience was. It was chaotic, but also kind of fun. Um, so I have pictures of me. I have a mixed drink in my hand in this cab. How did I get it? I don't know. Um, I don't know who gave it to me. The traffic was wild, the driving was crazy, and it's just they're honking at each other nonstop. And I don't remember how, but the conversation came about where it's like, why are you honking so much? Um, I'm stressed. And he was like, Well, that's how we say hi to each other. Like, so they would meet, meet, you know, that's them like, hey friend, hey buddy. And we're used to America, where it's like, fuck where it's aggressive, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Um, and so me and Melissa are sitting in the back, and um I'm Melissa. If you're listening, this is I mean, this is a compliment. Melissa kind of looks like the typical white girl that like all the black dudes go for. Yeah. Black men just love her, or at least they did. This was 10 years ago. Um, I they just do, they just gravitate toward her. She's just, I love her. And so this taxi driver asks Zach, you know, which one of these girls is is yours? And the ownership. Yeah, yes, kind of. Well, I think he wanted to just be respectful, you know. And so Zach says that, you know, um, you know, I'm his wife or whatever, and he's like, she's very pretty, like talking about me. He's like, she's very good looking. Turns to Melissa, points at her, and is like, but you baby girl, you could get you like six or seven N-words here. I just say ninjas, six, seven ninjas, six or seven ninjas, and I was like, oh, and she's like, What? Like, it just was it was the most amazing, like that was the story of the cruise, like that that happened. But anyway, I just wanted to tell you my runaway slave story and how Melissa became the Queen of Jamaica.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

I feel like I heard the Queen, the Queen of Jamaica story, like it stuck in my mind. But when you started to tell the argument, I was like, I'm starting to remember this. And then as soon as you said the runaway slave thing, I was like, I have heard that story. Yes, it was just such a shocking statement to make that I was like, like just to so casually say you're supposed to be like, okay, girl.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

It was like she was saying, Don't listen to her, she's crazy, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

But you can just talk to my sister, Flo.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

How are you? Oh God. Yeah, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Okay, back to Mr. Sancho's.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Well, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm trying to keep my thoughts in line because I promise this has a point because you asked me what the taxi experience was like, which I will get to because it's not there. Yes, because I'm sorry. It's it felt like a refreshment from this shop area. I will say nobody was rude, but there was there was this one man that even sort of he was it's just two minutes. And I was like, we have to get a taxi, and he's like looking at me like so bitch, you know. I'm just like, oh, I'm about to hit you.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

And you just have to ignore it.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

But then there were such sweet people, and they were doing the same thing, like, oh, do you speak Spanish? And I always have to say a little. And it's it holds true what I was telling you and Melissa. If you tell a Mexican that you speak any Spanish, even if you say it's a little, they will just go off. And I don't know what it was about this dude's accent. One of them who tried he offered us free shots of tequila, but then he wanted to sell us jewelry. And I'm like, I didn't come to Mexico to buy jewelry myself. Did you take the tequila? Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Was it actual tequila?

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Yes, and it was smooth.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

It's like Okay, hold on. Maybe it was watered down. I don't know. I was gonna say, because we got free tequila in Mexico, and I almost bought a bottle. And once I looked it up later, because it was delicious, girl, there was like two drops of tequila in that.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

It was like just juice. That may be why, because I'm expecting it to feel like even Patron or so. I've never had like Don Julio or any of that real expensive shit, but patron is still kind of burns, you know? Um, so I was I thought to my it was clear like that. So it could have been very diluted for all I know. And Ellie, Ellie has a picture of it, so let me ask her to send it to me and I'll I'll figure it out. But yes, we take the tequila, but the point is he he kept he asked us, what are you celebrating? And I know how you would say, ¿Qué están celebrando? Like, I understand that, but I don't know what it was about his accent or if he was just talking low, but I'm I'm looking at him like confused. And then he's like, What are you celebrating? I'm like, Oh, she graduated. But anyway, then we come out of his shop and there's a guy who starts talking to us in Spanish, and I eventually am just like no entiendo. And it's but and then he's like, Who uh, you like soccer? Who are you rooting for? And I'm like, Oh, and here's where I get a little bit too like I heard no key words there. I did not hear football, I didn't hear people, I didn't hear like he's like, What team are you going for? I didn't hear him say any words that I recognize. So there are moments where people talk to me about something really casual, and I'm just my brain's not computing it. There's like a big soccer thing happening right now, right? Yes, and the US was in the lead last I heard, but I don't I don't really keep up with and America's the only assholes that call it soccer, it's totally football, but yay, sports ball, sports ball, go sports anyway. So, yeah, there was a whole thing in the middle of like what Americans were concerned about, if not soccer, was the Knicks and Spurs of drama. Another sports ball reference. Yes, sorry, those words. So, anyways, many, many nice people complimented us on our tries at Spanish and all that stuff. So eventually, and those are the ones I ask, and I realized I don't have to say it in Spanish. I'm like, where can we get a taxi? And he's like, just keep walking straight through there. Thank you, bro. And we move on with our lives. They were not the heckling type. We get down there, and it was a very efficient system. There's like a whole port, and they're like, What do you need? Just two of you? Awesome, get in. Yeah, and they're they're very quick about it, and then we just get in there. Where are you going? Mr. Sancho's, okay. And then he's like, just so you know to come back here, the port is Puerta Maya. Don't forget, just tell them that's where you need to come. And I'm like, Thank you. I saw the big adorable sign, but that's imagine you not thinking about that and then being like, Oh fuck, I'm on a ship. I'm on a boat, I just need you to take me back to the area where the ship is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Like, so I before I forget to ask, did you ever see any like last minuteers running up to the boat, like literally at the last minute? No, because that was a fun watch.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

I bet. Like, I will say that when we come back from from Clauzamel, where everyone was able to drink, no one everyone was in such a good mood waiting in line, even though it was really long. People were just like, at the most, girls were like, I gotta pee. Like, but it was it was it was happy. Okay, sorry. No, just just that. I I was pleased to learn because I have cash on me that day. Because I'm that was a lesson I learned. You should you should take cash. But anyway, they're like, okay, it's $20 fair there and back. Cool, perfect. Um, but yeah, they I wouldn't say it was as chaotic as what you describe in Jamaica, but down there it does feel like traffic laws are just mere suggestions, I will say. Um, and these roads are tiny and they're still just zipping around each other, and you're like, oh fuck, you know, but as long as your driver seems really calm and like they do this every day. So anyways, it was a good time. Um, so the taxi experience in Mexico, not bad, I'll say. Okay, that's good. But then you really liked Mr. Sancho's? Yeah, it was fun for what it was. Um, you got rained on. We did get rained on, which I loved. Oh, that was another thing. There was a sweet guy at the port, the one who told us where to get a taxi. He's like, Where are you from? And I say, Texas, and he's like, Oh, and he goes, Sorry about the weather. And I said, I was like, No, I love the rain. I love it. It doesn't rain very much where we are and or where I'm from. And he goes, Oh, okay. Well, like some people just genuine sweet hearts. Um, and then it's just there's some other people. That's all, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Um, go ahead. I was just gonna ask you, what did you what did you do at Mr. Sancho's?

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Um, oh, it's it's a beach clip, so we we just drank and ate. Did you get the coconut shrimp? Yes. Did you like it? Yeah, I but I'm not a huge fan of coconut as a flavor. I love the oil for like my skin, or I do oil pulling in my mouth and stuff, but I don't always love the taste of coconut, especially like coconut shavings. Yeah, it's a texture thing. I'm not a fan, but I I tried it and I was like, okay, this is cool. But eventually I ordered me some garlic shrimp because I love gorlic. I love some garlic butter. So you didn't eat 22 plates of coconut shrimp and not like Zach. No, no, no, I did not. Did you ever make the pina colada? Yes. I have to say, Zach, he's not here, but when I see him, I'll tell him. First of all, good on him because my coconut there was like three of them bitches, so I don't know how he ate that much. You'd have to have to just like say keep them coming.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

I think he did. He ordered multiple orders at a time. Yeah, yeah. And yes, he did. Yeah. Tell him keep it keeping.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Okay, anyway. But I would suggest Mr. Sancho's to anyone. If you don't want to do an excursion and you want to just feel kind of like royalty, yeah, that's that's a good place. Our waiters were really sweet, they were very attentive. There was two of them. There were grackles everywhere, and I was cool with like I like they would just like a restaurant, they're gathering empty plates and unfinished food, and they're stacking them on those giant round trays on those things in the middle of the sand, and but they would have to walk away and go do something. So I would love a little homie would just swoop down and get them a piece of shrimp and go tear it up somewhere. And like I love that. Easy, yeah. And so I'd be done with like a shrimp tail with a little bit left, and I'd just toss it in the sand and let them. They love cruisers too. I bet. Yeah. But I'm just like, eat I respect your hustle, dude. Um but I did wanna um damn it, hold on. Something you said in b earlier that I was gonna say was different in Belize that was really in a good way. Oh, people. So we're eating at the lazy gator. Lazy Gator? Isn't that what it's called? Lazy. The the restaurant that they take you to after you snorkel.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Oh, I have another.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

It's called the Lazy Something, but Lazy Gator, I think, is a place here. So I think I'm confusing it. Lazy Anyway. I'm sorry. Anyway, but there was a woman selling jewelry, and she was very nice about it. She walks up and she goes, There's no pressure. We don't do that here. I just want to show you what I have. Yeah. I said, okay. And then we did not buy anything, but she she just walked away. We thanked her and she said, You're welcome. And she walked away. And then there was this other guy that very charming. He's walking around with his banana bread, and he I can't even attempt to recreate some of what he was saying, but he seemed like the what are what are the jellyfish characters' name and short tail? Oh, I don't know what their names are. But kind of like that. He was just very okay, I got banana bread. Like that's not an almost Italian, maybe, but the whale of a wash. Yeah. What rhymes with gosh. That's not how you sing that song, man. Yeah. Like very that was cool. But I wanted to ask you so that we're not just talking about my cruise the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

You you and I have been going through a bit of something for a while. Like last fall we went to New England for my birthday to do some goth shit. And I felt like I never really came out of the depression of that when we came back here because I just we don't really want to live here anymore.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

Um, so you know, I'm dreaming about moving one day and all these other places I could be, and then you go to Mexico, and it was sort of over for you after that.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

Yeah, I didn't expect for it to be that way. Um, I mean, there's always like an element of sadness coming home from anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

But there's also this element of like, I'm glad to be home. Like I missed my bed or I missed my pillow or I didn't have any of that. Yeah, the only thing I missed was my dog. I missed my people and I missed my dog.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

And I all I wanted to do was bring all of you there. Yes. Like I didn't want to leave. Like I was sobbing the last day of my retreat. Like, and it was kind of funny. I was also like speed experiencing, like I'm rushing around out of breath, trying to get my last experiences in. I'm like, okay, I've got I got three hours until I gotta be ready. I'm gonna go run like through the beach and hop over all of the sargassum. Okay, I got in the ocean one last time, right? And I'm like, okay, time, I got five minutes to be present. Okay, be present, be present, be present. You know, just like all of the things. And I'm like, fuck, okay, hold on. I gotta go get one more mango before I leave, you know, all the things that I'm thinking of that I'm gonna miss. And it just was like, it was so rough. It was so rough for me. But what it was is it was like I realized in that moment that like I don't this, I I could have my life be like this. Like I could have this slow movement, slow life, you know, just kind of feeling of freedom.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

I don't have you know, most Americans work, work, work, work, work and sacrifice and save and save and save. And maybe if they're brave enough, they do go move somewhere abroad or somewhere else when they're old to go die.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

To retire, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

And I'm like, I don't wanna I don't wanna wait. Yeah, I don't want to wait for that.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

Yeah, well, and these days you can't retire earlier than 75.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

What the fuck is that in America? It's and so I just was like, I have to make a change. Like I have felt so free this week that I I don't want to go back to feeling confined. I didn't even realize how confined I felt until I experienced this sense of freedom. Yeah. Like I feel so suffocated here. And and what by here, I mean yes, in this city, in this state. I also mean in this country. Like I just it is now so apparent to me. I feel like some glasses have been lifted off of me. Like this ideal of capitalism has been just completely extracted from my my viewing lens that I'm just like hey, actually, fuck all of that.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Do we call this episode the American Dream is a scam?

SPEAKER_00 37:18

The American Nightmare.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Yeah, there you go. The American Nightmare, that's better.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

I don't know. It just but that's kind of the point, you know, and um the retreat coordinators did a really great job of like prepping us the entire time that reintegration is so hard, you know. Um they they do a really good job of creating a safe container for you so that you can relax and get your freedom and do all and and the retreat in itself was called joy and rebellion. And so it was like finding your joy, but also go be rebellious. Go fucking wander the streets of of Tulum if you want to. You're not confined here, we're not telling you what to do. Go get a tattoo in Mexico, which I did. I got two of them.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

You know, else did you do? Go purchase drugs on the side of the street if you want. Please tell the folks at home what the what was on the menu that you got.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

I feel like I have to tell the whole story.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Okay, no, go for it. I just please don't forget that part.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

I bet I can find it, actually. I'm gonna look it up while I'm I'm doing this because um I saved my drug dealer's number in my WhatsApp. Did you please tell me you saved it under not my drug dealer? Narcos is what no, I'm just kidding. Um here's the thing. I I am the type of person that can pretty much walk in most rooms feeling very confident. I can kind of own a room, like you can't fuck with me kind of thing. That was not the case in Mexico, like I and I don't know why. I was amongst people that had very similar views as me. That some of them were even in the same like yoga teacher trainings as me. And I knew some of them, but like didn't know them. I mean, just to kind of get an understanding. I traveled to Mexico to this thing by myself, you know, navigated all the flights by myself. I didn't know anybody outside of their coordinators, and so I find myself like what do I do? All of these other bitches seem to know each other, and they're like, oh my god, I haven't seen you in so long. I love you. And I'm like, ugh, like I just found myself so kind of jealous, yeah, and then feeling very like alone. Um, I didn't have an emotional support person to kind of lean on. Yeah, you had some FOMO even though you were right there. Yeah, and like, yes, exactly. And I'm like, okay, the only people that I know are the coordinators, and like everybody wants their attention, and so I gotta be cool. Like, I can't just be like, oh my god, Jeannie, will you just be by my side, kiss them and then like I can't do that. No, and so the first two days, I'm getting so in my head about it to the point that I'm like I'm like taking off my necklace that semi-matches Jeannie's, where I'm like, no, people are gonna think I'm trying too hard, you know, that I'm like trying to impress her, and you know, all and so I just had this like weird attitude that I didn't recognize and didn't expect. Yeah, and I just wasn't having a chill time, bro. And um, so I'm like, you know what I need right now? I need my fucking weed pin, is what I need. And I'm like, I need some weed. I I don't know. I'm like fiending at this point, it feels kind of like a comfort that I want. Yeah, and so but then I start Googling, and it's like weed is legal for residents and is a big no-no for non-residents to the point where like police can't you can get in some big trouble. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't really want to go down to the beach where like and ask the guys selling me micro or macrame shit, like if they can help me find marijuana, because I don't want like swag, yeah, you know, yeah, um, which funny enough, that's what we got in Jamaica, was just like sticks and stones kind of shit. Anyway, and so then I find out that my roommate is also a pothead, and she's like, I would if you do. And I'm like, go with this is my inn, right? I'm gonna do it. So I'm Googling, I'm Googling all these things, because of course I am. Like, I'm just how do you find marijuana in Mexico? And so we're exploring one day and walking in a place that we were not supposed to be walking in, and I don't mean because it was dangerous, I mean because it was strict, uh like reserved for the people of that resort, right? Like, can't sit here kind of thing. And um so anyway, so we are walking around and he's like, Hey, do you need help? Um, because you're not supposed to be here. And I'm like, Yeah. And then I pull up my little Google Translate where I typed in, like, can you help me find marijuana? And I just show him my phone because it's translated, and he gives me a look like I shouldn't be talking to you. You're gonna get me in trouble, kind of thing. Like, because he's also on the job, right? Yeah, and he's like, Go to this restaurant, they'll have what you need. And he's like, Outside of that, please go away before I lose my job. And so it was already too late by that point. Yeah. And so we're like, okay, that's what we're doing tomorrow. Tomorrow we have a free day. Like, we get to pick our own restaurant, that's what we're gonna do. Okay. And so we have this whole day planned, we're all excited, and we go to the restaurant, which is closed. Um, but there's a restaurant right next to it, and we're like, fuck. So we are ordering, like, our guy's really nice, and we're even feeling kind of nervous to like ask him, you know. But I do the same thing, but I play it off as stupid, and I'm I I type it in my little translation app, and I'm like, I see that there are shops down the road that say THC, but I'm having trouble finding marijuana. Can you help me? And kind of same thing, our waiter's like, oh no, girl, like I'm gonna, you're gonna get me in trouble. And I'm like, okay, that's cool. That's the only reason we're here. Um and another guy comes up, shows me his phone, he's like, take a screenshot of this WhatsApp number and then send them a message, they'll have what you need. And I'm like, done, son. And I'm like, fuck, this is like narcos, right? Can I like pause yes?

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Can I pause you for a second that you're texting me telling me you're just strolling around? I think you're by yourself and you're looking for drugs in Mexico. Not drugs, but weed. Yeah. And I was like, are like I was kind of mad at you. You usually keep yourself pretty safe, but I was just like, what the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 44:12

I know. Anyway. I know. Again, joy in rebellion. She gave us permission to be rebellious. So here's my very white girl conversation. Okay, I have it pulled out. Me. Hi. I'm looking for marijuana, and I was told that you can help me. And they say, hola. And I say, I'm at the blank restaurant right now, and we're staying at the blank resort. Okay, period. And I'm waiting and I'm like, okay. I said, what kind do you have? Do you have like vape pens? And they say, how many grams? And I said, Do you have vape or gummy or just flour? And they respond 14 grams or 2,000 pesos Mexican or 120 USD. And so then I translate it. So I literally typed this, and I'm sorry I if I'm mispronouncing it because I definitely am. Um TNN Vapes oh Gomitas.

unknown 45:15

Gomitas.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

And it says, no, only flour, cocaine, tusi, which is like a mix of two drugs, um, extassius, ketamina, lcd, which they mean yes, yeah, uh, MDMA, weed flour, question mark. And I said, I'm seeing how much we need for two of us. One second. And then he said, okay. And I said, Where can I find rolling paper or pipes to smoke it? And he said, yes, paper free, no problem. More weed. And I said, We only need four grams. Is that gonna be okay? Anyway, so we go through this whole like, give me 30 minutes, send me your location, we'll be there. And I'm kind of panicking because one, I don't know how to roll. Like, I'm like, I'm gonna be given this bag of herb and some papers, and I'm not gonna know what to do. Yeah, I'm gonna have to like YouTube this shit. But then I'm also really nervous about like it being smelled and getting in trouble. You know what I mean? So, anyway, we drop a GPS like pen, and interestingly enough, it's at a pharmacy on our way back to our resort. Yeah, so my roommate and I go in there and there's like pre-roll like cones that she used, and I'm like, fuck yes, this is my favorite. This is what we're gonna do, right? Yeah, buy a lighter, and we're just sitting there kind of waiting on the curb.

SPEAKER_01 46:50

And there's go ahead. I'm so sorry, I had to pause you. I'm remembering now, this is the moment you text me. You say that you're waiting on a curb for this drug dealer, not anywhere near the resort. And I'm like, It was too, it was in walking distance. Okay, but you from what you're telling me at the time is that you're not at the resort, you're somewhere in the city on a curb, waiting for this guy. And I'm like strip, whatever, but you guess that's why I was like, Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

So we're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting, we're getting nervous, like it's getting late, it's very dark. We're just like, oh my god, like we're just getting more and more anxious, and I'm just like, we're here, and it's like, okay, 10 more minutes, and like how much longer? Like, we just keep going and it's taking forever. And I'm like, we're outside, I don't see your guy, and then it just keeps prolonging. It's finally 1023, and I'm like, we have to leave in two minutes. I mean, we didn't, but and then we get a text like he's a lot going through a security crisis, and I'm like, I am not feeling good about this, like at all, right? Yeah, my roommate's getting freaked out, and I'm just like, okay, and and so I'm like, What wait, am I dealing with the cartel? Because I don't want to be like, okay, never mind. They're like, no, we already sent our dude 40 minutes away. You're owe us, you're gonna buy us our shit. And I'm like, I'm like panicking, right? My American conditioning has come through that yeah, I'm gonna be in trouble. So I'm like, okay, we can try tomorrow. I'm sorry, I had to leave. And then I get a text eight minutes later. It's like, the boy is there. Uh can you come back? And I'm like, can he come down to the resort sign, which is like right outside of our door? They said, okay. And I said, I'm here. Same thing. Like, even though they said that he was there, he was definitely not there. Anyway, long story short, it's not short, it's very long. Um, the next day I get a text that's like, good morning. We are already open. If you would still like your weed, friend. And I'm like, I can meet you at this time or this time. And then I made the mistake of saying, I will pay you extra if you can find me a vape or gummies. Because now I've had overnight anxiety thinking about getting caught being with it being smelled, right? And she said, Oh, I say she, I have no idea. Okay, I think I can get go meet this. I'll do it for you. I'm like, that would be great. Oh my god, thank you. Thank you, friend. And then so then they're on their way, and I they're like, it'll be $120. I'm like, what for gummies? How many? Like, I don't, we've got one more day here. Like, I don't need how much no. And he's like, for two bags, two packages with 30 in them. I'm like, I don't need 60 gummies, dude. Like, no, I just need one package. Like, okay, that's fine. So we had this whole meetup, kind of same situation. At this point, my roommate is like, girl, I'm out. I will give you the money if you get it. I'm not gonna go wait down there. So I'm by myself, just down there, pretending like I'm people watching, pretending like I just need a little break, right? Eventually, like I'm sitting on this curb, eventually, for anybody that's seen the movie Bad Teacher, the her roommate that has a little motorbike, very heavy set, right? Eventually across the street, this guy pulls up and looks at me, and I give him one of these amen, like kind of head nods. It's called the Chicano salute. You know, hey senor, and I head motion to the side of me, like, like come over here. There's this open gate right here for some reason, right? And so I stand up to go that way, he pulls his bike in, and we kind of go behind where this little thing is, and in a in a quickness, I mean five seconds, I pull out the cash, he pulls out his bag, we exchange, he's gone. Like he didn't even count them. I could have given him two dollars, right? He could have given me matches, right? Like, we didn't check each other. And so I shove it in my my oversized Aladdin pants and walk back to my resort room, and when I get up there, I pull out and there's two bags of gummies, and I panic, and I'm like, I only gave him enough money for one bag. And you think you owe the cartel again? And I'm like, God damn it. So I text him and I'm like, hold on, let me show you. I said, I don't I actually don't know what this says. Um what is H A Y?

SPEAKER_01 52:04

I oh I that like there are, so I think it's I I dos. I dos bolsas a key.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Solo necessitba una e solo le di sixty.

SPEAKER_01 52:18

I only needed one and I only gave you sixty, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

Quiere de regreso.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

Would you like the other back? I'm gonna translate for the people as you're reading it poorly, okay?

SPEAKER_00 52:31

Because I'm freaking out. Would you like me to return the other one? Yeah, yeah. And I said, let me know. I'm not gonna open them if you want them back. Because I'm like, at no point am I gonna have the cartel march into my yoga retreat. Like, I'm looking for the white bitch that owes me $60. And I'm like, imagine I'm just doing the yoga, like, huh? Like you're like, hi, midnight. It's me. Oh my god. Oh my god. And then they say, No friend, I'll give it to you because at the bad moment last night. And I send all these green hearts, right? So I look on the bag and it says it's essentially like one million milligrams per gummy. It's like an outrage. It's I think it's 500, 500 milligrams per gummy. And I'm like, what? Bitch, I usually take five.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:26

I'm gonna have to take the smallest squidward bite. I I did. Yes. Like the of the Krabby Pack. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, yes, I took the tiniest bite because I was freaking out. Yeah. And um I go do yoga. And I'm like, do I feel anything? I don't know if I feel anything. And I'm like, well, maybe it's because I haven't eaten anything. We get done with yoga. This is before lunch, and I go and I'm like, I'm gonna take just another little nibble, right? I take another, another little squidward bite, you know, a little of the Krabby Patty. I go have lunch, I make sure that I have something with fat, right? Nothing. I feel nothing. Come back to the room to use the restroom. And while I'm in the bathroom, I'm Googling. I take, I'm Googling this brand of gummy or whatever to see, like what the fuck. And guess what pops up? A Reddit thread. A Timu listing. A Timu listing of these empty bags that you can get like 20 of for like $4.55. And I'm like, wait a damn minute. Hold on. They gave you some sour patch kids. So then I start Googling a little further, and sure enough, I see this bag, but each bag has a different product inside of it on the internet.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:50

And then I find a Reddit thread that's basically like, girl, you got scammed. Those are not real. Um, and some of them like said that it might be like sprayed with like a weed something, you know what I mean, to like give it that taste. I don't know. Long story short, yeah. Uh me and my roommate paid 60 American dollars for candy. And that's how I learned my lesson about buying drugs in a foreign country. I would love to say that I learned my lesson and I will never do it again. Um, but that's not uh not a completely accurate statement.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

I have to tell everybody to do that.

SPEAKER_00 55:31

But that is my second time buying weed in a foreign country. In Jamaica.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

Sorry, I took a second. Like, what? Yeah, at least in Jamaica it was real. Well, like, so you so uh we know each other well enough, of course, at this point that I read your texts in your voice as best I can. I assume that happens to everyone, but you gotta I want to know what I sound like in your voice.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

How you sound right now.

SPEAKER_01 55:56

But oh well, I'm gonna I'm about to imitate it, right? Oh, here we go. So I'm reading a text, and you're again when you're scaring me about waiting for the drug dealer by yourself. I know I kept correcting the story, but I do think you didn't text me until the time you were waiting alone when your roommate bailed. So I was like, what the fuck? Because I remember you telling me about you're like, dude, this was like a movie. He pulls up on his little motorbike, I give him this nod and like motion to the alley, and you're that's not an alley, but that area you're talking about, and I'm like, Are you kidding me? And you go, we do the exchange in like two seconds, right? And I say in my best accent, gracias. Oh yeah, I did. Yeah, you were like, Gracias.

SPEAKER_00 56:32

Yeah, I was really bad at Spanish in Mexico, really bad. Oh, can't yeah, we never okay. Yes, so I against my mother's wishes, um, I did leave the resort to go like truly in the city of Tulum. Yeah, and I wouldn't recommend it. Just was you can get the same touristy shit where you were. Um there was not I was expecting to find authenticity, like authentic crafts, authentic handmade stuff, authentic, yeah, even authentic tacos, which probably were the tacos were very similar to what we can get here.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

Um, but we live in a very Hispanic heavy place.

SPEAKER_01 57:11

So yeah, that's why I wasn't sorry to pause. I'm I wasn't dying for tacos or anything when we were in Mexico. I'm like, we get good shit here. Yeah. Our taco trucks are pristine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:19

The one that I got was like, this is good, but there's nothing I can't get there. Meanwhile, the the whiteies up in the East Coast were like, oh my god. Yeah, I bet they would lose their mouth. Even they were every time that we had food, they were like, I should make Mexican food more often. And I was like, wait, you don't?

SPEAKER_01 57:34

Like Yeah, it's just normal to us. Or like when we were in New England and we saw people fucking rushing out of a Chipotle, and I was just like, they don't even know.

SPEAKER_00 57:41

You have no idea. Anyway, go ahead. So I'm at this place. What was I getting? Was it chocolate? The chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

I thought you were at a pharmacy. Weren't you trying to get medicine?

SPEAKER_00 57:52

Oh, yes, yes, that's what it was. And you okay, so so I'm incredibly swollen. Like I'm retaining a shit ton of water despite only drinking water and eating pretty healthy food.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:03

How did I go on a yoga retreat where I'm eating whole food and doing a more exercise and stuff? And I gained five pounds. Yeah, with no preservatives like here. Yeah, anyway, so I'm like, I need a diuretic stat.

SPEAKER_02 58:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:16

You know, we've already made friends with this pharmacy at this point, because it's literally pretty right next door.

SPEAKER_02 58:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:21

And I go in and I do my Google Translate thing, and I'm like, diuretica, you know. Um, and she gives me two options, and I'm like, fuck, I don't know. And so I'm trying to think of how to ask her which one is better. And every once in a while, like the the cell phone service would not was not always consistent. Yeah. And especially in this pharmacy for some reason, and it wouldn't like update. And I'm like, fuck. And I'm like, uh, which uno es muy bueno. And um she was like, oh bitch, I swear to God. Like she's like, I don't, I don't know. And so okay, just give me this one. Yeah. Um, but then as I'm telling the story to Lindsay and trying to think, and she was like, Well, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 59:13

Well, I was just gonna say it's imitate me. Yes, but you so we have to say that this is you're telling me the story as you remember, you missed your connection flight. Where were you at a hotel in Austin?

SPEAKER_00 59:24

Oh my god. That's where it happened.

SPEAKER_01 59:27

So I'm on the phone with you late one night because you're like, I'm so stressed and like tired, but I they gave me this hotel. Like, so you're just catching me up, right? And you're telling me this story about the diuretic and how you it wasn't loading, and she couldn't understand that you were asking which is better. And so you're stoned as fuck because you've had a really rough day.

SPEAKER_00 59:47

So you're I I walked next door, I didn't have a car, didn't feel like paying for an Uber. Yeah, I was already freaking over it, but I needed food. And I walk next door to the gas station, and they have THC infused little drinks, and I was like, fuck yes. Yeah, after having fake gummies in Mexico, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:05

So you're actually pretty high, you're probably you're tired, you're a little deli delulu, delirious, whatever, and you're telling me the story. And I said, Well, like, because you took I know you don't speak Spanish, but some words stick around, and you took it in school, so I say, Do you not remember how to say which? And you go, Yeah, bruja. And I said, No, like, but yes, but then it turns into a joke.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

Because like witch, bruja w I t-c-h. Yeah, that's not w-h.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

Yeah, and so you so it turns into now our thing is just saying bruja is más bueno, which really for anyone who gives a shit, it's so much quicker. The word for witch, as in betwixt several options, is qual. So it just would have been qual es mejor. Which is which is better.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

What is mejor?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

Mejor is better. Better, so which is better.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

Aren't there people with the last name mejor? I think you're thinking of mayor. Oh. See, I'm bad at this. But do you know? I know that you were saying that, like, you and Elisa were doing it. Yeah. I like had a point to prove in Mexico where I was like, no, no, no. Y'all don't understand. Like, my name is to be Guerrero.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:21

Yeah. Like, it's actually the joke I wanted to make that you're like, I say in my best accent, gracias. I'm like, everyone, this is a Guerrero. Like, I don't I had a different childhood where like I I went through this identity crisis when I was young. I still think that being, I'm sorry, being white is just, it's everywhere. It's basic, it's mayonnaise, it's not so I went through this identity crisis where I didn't like being white. I really just wanted to like hone in on the other side of me, right? And then I struggle with this, like, my my last name is is of Scottish descent, so it's very white. And I went through this thing of like hating my last name and just hating all of that. And then it's just it's funny that the opposite is over sitting over here with her with her. It's not like your last name is like Diaz or something like fucking guerrero.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:01

Well, what was funny is I told this shop owner in Tulume that I was a Guerrero and obviously translation, and he was like, Oh, me too! And I was like, What? Really? And he was like, Yeah, he's like, you know, kind of making this. And I'm like, like cousins? Like, are we cousins? You know, and I was like, let me see. Like, show me your show me. Show me your ID. Yeah, and he pulls out his ID to show me that his like city, like he was from the Guerrero, Guerrero, yeah, and I was like, Oh, that's not the same. Never mind, sir. You can go back inside. Oh, wow. I'm just kidding. I think I have a picture of him. He was funny. He was the one that showed me like the wooden toy and said it was a Mexican Nintendo. Remember? That's funny. And he was like, the screens are gonna ruin your children in America. And I was like, bro, you're not wrong. Tell me about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:53

Yeah, but well, to circle some of that back, I would just say, yes, when we were in New England, we went to why am I going blank on the park we went to in Maine? That's on the mountain. It's a next one. Acadia? Acadia. We went to Acadia, and Lauren, uh, you know, I mentioned in a previous episode how she planned our itinerary to the tea. So, and this was all very like a sweet and like awesome idea to where I thought at this point in time this might be one of the coolest things I've ever done. So we're staying in Salem, Massachusetts, but we got to visit several places because Salem has no airport, so you have to fly into Boston, you drive to Salem. So we're already visiting all these places, and then she's like, What do you think about driving up the coast of Maine? Or driving up the coast and having lunch in Maine. And I'm like, Fuck yeah, can we go to Stephen King's house? Like, that's how all this happened. But we go to Acadia National Park, and something that us two Texans had no idea about is like in the East Coast, the sun sets at like 5 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:48

Yeah, we didn't we had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:49

We we didn't know. Like even in the winter, it's still up until past seven here. So we just we didn't know. And you, you know, you said I can kind of see how people get seasonal depression in other places, blah blah blah. But the point is we go to Acadia, and by the time we fucking get there, we don't have much time to spend before it starts getting dark, and we're hungry. So eventually we leave, and there's all these restaurants. We go to the first one and we're like, oh, bummer, it's closed. Okay, excuse me. We go to another one, closed, closed, finally. Close for the season, see you in spring. I gotta tell you how many times when we went to Ipswich, which is close to Massachusetts, near the woods, there are all these people walking their dogs midday, like on a Tuesday or wherever the f no, we were there through a weekend, but the point is, I'm like, do you think this is just their Menti B for the day? They just go out and walk, like, how wonderful. Yeah. Like where we live, is that I was telling the guy in Mexico, it doesn't, it never rains here. There's no woods.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:43

Once upon a time.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:45

Yeah, it's if you asked me to describe Amarillo, I would say it's Mr. Sur from Holes. Once upon a time. Tell you Girl Scouts a story. There's a magical place where it never rained. That's here. And it's dusty, it's gross, the air is dry, it's dry heat. My skin was so much healthier and pretty in a tropical climate. Anyway, but we're in New England. We have no idea about this. So I find this local walking his dog again, and I'm like, oh, what a life, you know? And I stop him and I'm like, Hi, do you live here? And he goes, Yeah. And I'm like, is there are all these restaurants closed? And he's like, Yeah, it's already like we're we're there in November. It's not quite Christmas yet. Like, we it's not even Thanksgiving yet. So we're like, what's happening? And he's like, Yeah, most of them close down for the winter. Yeah, and I'm like season, dude, just what a life. Like, I then I learned later many of these people at these tourist destinations or whatever, these these attractions make all their money like in the first six months of the year, maybe a little more, and then they get to be off through the holidays. And like ever since then, I've been dreaming about slow living. Yeah. And then you go to Mexico and like same thing for you. And now I just come back from this cruise where these people, like I was telling you, I'm sure they have problems like anyone else, of course, you know, but they They just don't they they probably don't fucking they're not dealing with Microsoft Teams. My tourist guides who let me go pet a pregnant stingray aren't answering people's bitch ass emails. Yeah, they're not like put it on your task list. Yeah, they're just like like one of our dudes, he was he was funny as fuck. Like when I first pet the nurse shark, I s I said, Oh, that feels so weird. Um, it was slightly rough, it almost like I wouldn't say like sandpaper, but there was texture to its skin, and I just thought, oh, how cute. And I said, That feels so weird. And he goes, Well, it's fake, you see, it's made in China. Look right here. Like he just kind of had that like dad sense of humor. He was really funny. I don't know. They were just such charming people to be around.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:35

Like, island people are so cool. I know. I can't imagine the type of depression I'm gonna go through after Costa Rica. Yeah, I don't like I'm trying not to like pre-worry about it, yeah, but I just like I don't know. I I don't want to go through what I went through after Mexico. Yeah, and so I'm just like I have to I'm already making changes in my life, you know, to make sure that I don't feel quite so stuck because I'm not stuck. Like I now have a passport, I can go anywhere that I want, and that's my new thing. Like I am not I used to just think that going up to Denver was like peak type of like vacation for me. And I love Denver. Yeah, I love Colorado, but like that that was the extent of my experience of like nature, you know, and then Arkansas. And I'm just no, I'm I'm done with that mentality. Yeah, I want to go, I want to go with my kids, I want them to experience things. I don't want them to feel so stuck and like have this very zoomed-in view of what the world is like. Yeah, it's like tunnel vision.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

Yeah, no, you get you you become um not content, but complacent with what you do have, and it's comfortable. Like I tell you all the time, I think about like moving is scary enough, like to pick up and move to another state, like start over with a new job, all that stuff. So even that, sometimes I'm like, should I just move to a blue state? Should I just move to whatever?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:12

But then like I still would be like blue state's not enough for me. I want to move to a blue zone, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:17

Like, yeah, like these these trials, I I no matter where I go, I just I've said I've said it since New England, but I I'm really reiterating it now. I have to be near water.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:26

And that maybe sounds weird to some people or dramatic, but like if you're chart. If you're yes, if you're connected to to nature, if you pay attention, there are different things that are gonna feel so healing for you. And just be that's another thing. Speaking of your tunnel vision, like you'll start to increase your like this is what I want for myself. We were in fuck motherfucking Galveston with the gray blue water or gray brown water, very brown, and still I'm like, I gotta live here, like the they live on the water. Hell no, not literally, I don't want to move to Galveston, but I'm saying I woke up at my hotel near the water and I got to go out on my balcony, and these little seagull assholes are just seagulling. I loved it though. Like I was just sitting out on my balcony drinking my water, watching the ocean. Yeah, even if it was brown Galveston ocean. Yeah, it was nice. And so anyway, I need to I've nothing would be more healing to me than to live by water. I need to do that for myself. Like it's a life goal that I just think I shouldn't. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than living by water.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:27

Yeah. And yeah. I believe I I I'm it's this is not just a pipeline dream for me anymore. This is I I need to know. I need to know that there's something better out there, that there's something that's gonna uh cater a little bit more to like my natural circadian rhythm. Yeah. I I don't want to have to constantly be in a state of like what can I do to bring my body back into equanimity. Like, you know, I just I don't want to constantly be trying to um what what how was it put the other day that I really loved? Like, I don't want to survive.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:06

I want to actually We're supposed to thrive, yeah, not survive. It's like that thing where our ancestors who like fought off bears and shit, yeah, still didn't they weren't as unhealthy as us. Yes, I understand this is before vaccinations when I'm talking about mental health and how your mental health can deteriorate your body if it's poor. They still were healthier than us in those ways because their adrenaline spiked when they needed to fight or defend themselves, and then it went back down.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:34

They went back to a safe living because no one was emailing them on goddamn Teams asking, Do you have this done yet? For an update on something right now. Like, do you know if so-and-so is available? Can you like I'm like you, I knew this was probably gonna happen before the trip, and now I'm I mean I'm I'm okay because I'm sitting here with you and I'm happy and I got one more day, but tomorrow's Monday.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:56

And I'm really worried about how little patience I'm just gonna have for m like menial bullshit. Yeah. Because there are some people I work with that like this is their entire life, is like being someone's glorified helper. Yeah. And uh it's this is really not for me. I don't want to do this anymore. I need I there should be jobs for introverted people like me where I don't have to be on all the fucking time and like smiling and making other people's egos feel better because they don't know how to have real connections. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:27

Well, I think it's a good thing that you've got two days off this week. You've got Tuesday and Wednesday off to go.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:32

And then Friday. We do get Juneteent off. I'm saying you're only working two days a week, so that's that's the I'm being weaned back in, but that's what happened with New England. And like I was worried because I never really came out of that depression, and now I've I've gotten to step, except for probably on this trip. Yeah, you know, but the same thing happened. Like we get back from New England, and right around the corner is I don't like this. I think Thanksgiving should be Indigenous People's Day, but Texas has not gotten on that train, so I'm just gonna generalize that we were off for that holiday. And then three weeks later was Christmas, and then I got a lot of time off then, and then it was like New Year's and I had a ton of holidays in January. Like I was just very I had such a hard time after our trip to Salem.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:10

Well, I think let's let's check back in. I don't know when we're gonna be able to record again. Uh maybe next week. Well, yeah, you're about to go out. Oh, I'm going out of town. Let's let's try to see if we can uh maybe by the end of the week. And let's just do a check-in and see how you're doing, and we'll talk about transitions and this new process of coming out of the cocoon and finally emerge plans to emerge, whatever. Let's let's check back in and kind of see how that's going. Does that sound good to you?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

Yeah, I think it'll be cool. I have to leave it on the note to say that although we're both struggling, I'm trying to believe that maybe the chips are just falling where they need to, that like yeah, your kids are already seeing that they're maybe better things than this capitalist society. Yeah. My daughter used to have kind of a small, she wanted to just stay here. Yeah. And then I convinced her to go to a university, although not very far away. I'm like, but there's enough of a safety net. I was like, you need to get the fuck out of here. But I'm two hours away. I'll be right here if you need me. And then I take her on this trip and I'm like, let's go see other countries. Yeah. Let's go see other things. And now she's kind of the same way. She's like, I don't want to leave. Yeah. I don't want to go back. And I'm like, Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:24

All right. So well, I think that's a good point to leave off on. Yeah. Um, we'll check in later and kind of see how things are going. Sound good? Yeah. All right. Well, for Dark Moon, full moon, I am Lauren. I'm Lindsay. And we'll catch you next time. Bye. Bye.