What is Life? With Martina

6. Why Relationship Conflict Is Actually Good For You (We Fought While Recording This)

• Martina

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We started recording about why relationship conflict is GOOD... then we literally had a conflict mid-episode. I cried in the bathroom for 35 seconds. We came back. We worked through it on mic. We proved our entire point in real time. The most meta episode ever. 😂

This is Part 5 of our completely unfiltered love story, recorded from our garden in Vietnam with Buchta snoring and a woman learning to drive a motorbike outside (you'll hear it all).

If you missed the previous parts:
Part 1: Met in high school 2009, dated ONE WEEK, didn't speak for 12 YEARS
Part 2: Reconnected 2020, 9 days talking nonstop, Croatia trip, moved in after 3 weeks
Part 3: Found the product, launched Magnetic Couples Bracelets in 17 days, hit $10k/month
Part 4: His honeymoon phase vs. my mental breakdown—same 5 months, different realities


WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT:

✨ The Unpopular Opinion - Why intense, triggering relationships are actually transformational (not toxic)
✨ The Dirty Water Theory - How Tomash poured "clean water" into my "dirty cup" and 28 years of suppressed emotions overflowed
✨ Resistance → Acceptance → Love - My 6-year journey from crying 5 times a day to actually being chill
✨ Why Conflict Increases Your Capacity to Love - How every fight cleared emotional space in my body
✨ The Good Girl Pattern - Suppressing emotions my whole life created a pressure cooker that exploded when I finally felt safe
✨ Then We Literally Proved It - Tomash says "that's not my experience," I get triggered, we have a meta fight about how to do this podcast
✨ The Bathroom Cry Break - 35 seconds of crying, then coming back to work through it in real time
✨ Why We're Different - I speak in labyrinth tangents. He wants structure and bullet points. We make it work anyway.
✨ The Energy Healing Box - Why we spent 3.5 years meditating and "healing" (spoiler: it just created more resistance)
✨ What Actually Helped - My dad dying, stopping all the spiritual stuff, accepting "this is what it is right now"


THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF:

  • You fight with your partner A LOT and wonder if that's normal
  • You've been told your relationship is "too intense" (but it doesn't feel toxic)
  • You get triggered by your partner constantly
  • You want to hear conflict resolution in real time, unedited
  • You're tired of polished relationship content
  • You believe growth is uncomfortable


WHAT THIS EPISODE IS NOT:

❌ Polished (we fight, pause, cry, come back, keep recording)
❌ Structured (I tangent for 15 minutes, Tomash gets triggered)
❌ Advice (just our messy story)
❌ Short (over an hour because we got sidetracked by our own conflict)


WHAT THIS EPISODE IS:

✅ The most meta thing ever - We proved our point by living it in real time
✅ Brutally honest - You hear the trigger, the conflict, the resolution
✅ Two perspectives - I say "we," he says "that's not my experience" (becomes a whole thing)
✅ Real dynamics - Interrupting, disagreeing, triggering, working through it, loving anyway
✅ Permission to be messy - Intense relationships are transformational, not toxic
✅ Live proof - Resistance → acceptance → love, demonstrated on mic


ABOUT US:

I'm Martina (33, feels everything, talks in tangents, pee 3 times during episode, says "we" when I mean "I"). He's Tomash (35, calm AF, wants structure, gets triggered by my 47 open boxes). We're the couple behind Magnetic Couples Bracelets . We live in Vietnam. Together 24/7 for 6 years. We fought constantly for years and it made us BETTER. We have completely different memories and communication styles. We choose each other anyway. English is our second language. I swear when passionate. Tomash wants you to comment if you actually listen (he can't believe people do). Buchta snores.


RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Magnetic Couples Bracelets: https://www.magneticcouplesbracelets.com/

LET'S CONNECT:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/martinarajcan/


Have a beautiful day or night, wherever you are. This episode is proof that conflict isn't the end - it's transformation. Or at least that's what we tell ourselves while crying in bathrooms. 💕

P.S. - We fought about how to podcast WHILE podcasting ABOUT fighting. The irony is not lost on us. 😂

P.P.S. - If your relationship feels "too intense," this is for you. Intensity isn't toxicity. It's evolution. (Unless it actually is toxic—then leave. But if you're just growing and it's uncomfortable... welcome home.) 🌱

This is life. Messy, triggering, transformational, real. Buckle up. 🎢

SPEAKER_00

Hello, person human soul. So happy that you're back here. This is another episode of What is Life? Baby, don't hurt me. I wanna change that song because I made a new one yesterday. What is life? Baby, it's living. It's living here and now. Okay. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. Yesterday I saw a video that we shouldn't welcome people, but I'm like, fuck off. I'm gonna welcome everybody, including all the squirrels and rats and insect that is listening to us in the streets that are literally one meter from my head. This is another episode of my hour, my podcast of What is Life with Martina and Tomas, apparently. And I actually wanted this episode to be my only solo episode, but then I was like, oh what the hell? I'm gonna tell this guy to join me and like be part of it and see what comes out of it. Because, like, why not? So in the last four episodes, we were talking chronologically about our story, right? From high school until we didn't see each other for 12 years, and then in 2020 we reconnected, and within five months we did uh like an award-winning marathon of choices that led us into freedom. But today I want to do something different. I want to talk about the power in of the intensity of a relationship that I believe is still being seen in a negative way. Like, I don't know, I haven't seen yet anywhere that somebody would talk about conflict and emotional intensity in a relationship as a good thing. I really think this is unpopular opinion, and it's an opinion that I haven't really met with anywhere, but it's my own experience, and that's all I can talk about, okay? So it's not like I'm not generalizing it, but I really want to speak about the power of a relationship that makes you go fucking crazy and puts you on your knees in your bathroom where you cry every day. And and I really think it's a good thing. And it's because you will find out in this episode. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_04

So that's why it's unpopular. Like people usually don't go to the things that are uncomfortable, right? So it makes it makes sense that it's not something that like we usually when we are in some situation that doesn't feel good, it's not something that we would at that moment see as good. Right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Like it's usually like after some time when you are able to see it as good.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and that's exactly what actually I'm able why I'm able to talk about it in this episode. Because after all these six years with you, I can literally see like if you were if I was going to draw it, it would be like when you have frequency line, okay, and you go up and down, up, up and down, up and down, up and down, it's like really up and up, up, up, down, up, down, up, down, and then slowly it's slowing down, and it's down and up until it kind of straightens out the line, and that's how I would actually see my experience, emotional ride with you in this relationship. Because, like in the last episode, I spoke about the first months and my like emotional breakdown era that started. And it continued, we just haven't gotten there yet, but this basically continued for years, I would say until 2025, like June. That's what I that's that's my chronological understanding of the crazy, crazy events, and we fought a lot. The type of fights changed, or conflicts, or disagreements, or like trigger and emotional reaction. It changed, the intensity changed. We learned how to communicate together, so it stopped being so like violent, like not violent in a physical way, physical sense, but more in like a word, using words as swords. I don't know if that is like a thing, but that's what I would say, and it was mostly me. Yeah, you were yeah, you were just there. I mean, you shouted like three times in six years, I remember. Yeah, so the type of the fights changed, it calmed down until it calmed down completely lately, like last I don't know how many months. As the intensity of, let's say, negative emotions being triggered by the fights and arguments, as that was going down, something on the other hand was going up, and that's what I want to talk about. So, what what started to grow in me, and I can feel it, I can sense it, I can literally tell you examples probably, but I would have to think really hard because I'm scared you will ask me practical, you know. Give me examples so I wanna understand. So something was growing, and that something is my capacity to love and accept myself and you and life in general, circumstances, everything as it is, other people, everything as it's happening. It's almost like the resistance, which is the negative emotions, right? You started to trigger it in me, and I started to cry and cry and cry and shout and punch the pillows and shake and use all the tools possible because I thought that's what would help. Okay, it was just a journey of everything because now I don't need any tools, it just happens, and I'm just like okay with what I feel, and I just live life anyways. I don't get hang up on my feelings, but that's a journey, it's an evolution, and that's exactly the evolution of my human capacity to love and accept myself, other people, life, everything grew because I would I would say it in this way, like energetically, it's almost like you have a cup with the water that is really dirty, and you, with your triggers, or with you being you, kind of started to pour like a clean water, okay, in from another cup to my cup, which was really dirty, and it started to overflow, and all this dark, muddy water, which was which were emotions I haven't felt for years, or I wasn't we we are not taught this at school, we don't know how to feel, and we try, we are scared of our own feelings, which isn't really just the only reason why we don't just feel them and move on. So we are not taught of it, we are not taught this at school, so I didn't know how to do it, right? I would just lash out and react and hurt people and hurt myself and punish myself on all these things, and so that would create a lot of damage and a lot of you know drama in my life, which I eventually got addicted to, kind of, but that's for another episode. I'm again doing ADHD 360 round into what I want to say, but stay with me. And so all those 28 years of emotions, suppressed emotions, suppressed anger, suppressed rage, suppressed sadness, grief, even from the tennis courts, from my fights with my mom and with my parents, let's say, and other boyfriends before you, my ex-boyfriends, all of that was like a pressure cooker. And you came to my life and you started to slowly, well, not really slowly, but like surely like put the pressure up, and all of those emotions and the dark dirty water started to overflow that cup, and I started to feel it and cry and just oh my god, it was so hard and so intense. And but as that was happening, the water started to clear, obviously, right? When you put clean water into dirty water, it starts to cling to that clean water, and that's what I'm talking about. Like that dirt and pain started to transform and clear the energetic space in my body, or just emotional capacity, my nervous system capacity to feel love and acceptance and non-resistance, you know. So yeah, that's what I wanted to say. Maybe this is like incomplete, but I'm not gonna even judge it. I just really wanted to say this. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but it makes sense to me, and I hope that to you, whoever is listening, hi. Maybe maybe it makes sense to you on some level. Everybody will understand what I just said in their own way. But the point is that having conflicts and being sensitive and being too emotional, and working and figuring out your life while staying in a relationship and with the person who triggers these uncomfortable situations and emotions in you, like the process is actually life-changing, and and it provides transformation and evolution of your human being that actually shows this. I really do believe it chooses these experiences, these partnerships, these relationships, this this journey of an evolution. Okay, and so I think it's not bad. I think to feel discomfort means that you're growing, it means that you're overcoming the known, the comfortable way of living. And you, my love, I had love-hate relationship with you until like in those really hard moments, remember? I was doing baby, I was really telling you like I feel hate towards you, but it's not like I hated you, is that the hate in me from all the past experiences that I never felt was you were like poking it in me, and of course, for some time and long time, I believed I hate you, but no, it was just that hate inside of me, and as it was coming out, I learned how to do it in a way, how to feel my emotions, and like kind of release them in a way that was healthy, that didn't hurt you, it didn't hurt anyone. And as it started to go, like it completely like it was like releasing tension from my body, and I think that's fucking amazing, and I'm so grateful for it. And I'm so grateful I met you, and I'm so grateful we kept choosing each other and we stayed together. Even though I thought we would break up with every fight, we didn't. I wanted to leave 700 times. I didn't. I fake packed my bag 300 times, but I didn't leave, I stayed.

SPEAKER_04

You actually fake packed your bag just once, if I remember correctly.

SPEAKER_00

Not twice. So um, so yeah, and I just want to normalize this because I believe that if I'm saying this, then I'm not alone. We are all one. Somebody has to go through this. So if you're going through this, it's okay. It's okay, and it's actually necessary, and at some point, it's necessary now, but once you get in on this evolution, on your evolution journey to the point where you won't need that anymore because I don't know, I don't know why it stopped, but basically, just you learn how to choose love and not to fear your emotions and not to resist what's happening, it's the resistance that makes us go crazy, shit will smooth out and the relationship will suddenly feel calm, and not because you want to or you try hard, no, but because it will just happen and it's a natural, natural evolution of everything. So yeah, and you know, at the end of the day, like I was not fighting with you, I was fighting with myself. We know this, right? We realize this, baby. Like it was the stories in my head that I was translating everything you would say in my own way that would hurt me because I needed that, and then I would get angry at you, but I was just getting angry at myself, but I didn't know that. And all when you add up all of these moments, all of the cryings, all of the breakdowns, all of the sadness together, it's a huge amount of energy that was just released and moved. It was kind of like stuck in me, but not in a bad way. Nothing is bad out of what I'm saying, it just is it's just how we function. And so now I forgot what I was saying.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I think you are finished. It felt like you are about to be finished.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so when you add all of this together, it just like releases, and it's a huge energy that suddenly life suddenly is able to flow through you. You're able to feel presence and being here and now and be in the moment because all of those energy they become thoughts and those become feelings, and suddenly you're just like a flowy and like empty cup that life can flow through. It's not stuck with all of these things from the past. So, so this is what how I see it from everything that I learned and wondered, and kind of like I did some deep, deep thinking. This is what I see, and I just really wanted to share that because intense relationships they're not for everyone, and not many couples survive it. You know, sometimes it leads you into yeah, a peaceful breakup, if that's what is meant to happen. But for us, thank God, it led us, it let it led us here so that we can now talk about it on a podcast openly without you know any problem and with love and acceptance. And I'm grateful for every single time you made me hate you because that's exactly what I needed to feel. And I'm so grateful, baby, that you stayed with me. Like honestly, you really do deserve gold medal. Like my mom said, a person who will be able to stay with you one day, they will deserve a medal. Well, that's you. Right now, I'm giving you the medal, and I guess I'm done. But there's so much I didn't say. There's so much I didn't say anyway.

SPEAKER_05

So can I say something?

SPEAKER_00

Well, yes, go.

SPEAKER_05

So nice, thank you.

SPEAKER_06

So, first of all, I for me it I don't think I deserve a medal. I think you deserve a medal for all of this that you were going through because I was there, but I didn't go through these kind of things that you went through. I mean, I like everybody's going through these kind of things, and I will maybe explain a little bit later, but this specific thing that you were just explaining, like that's what you went went through. So it's like I think that you are the one who deserves the gold medal for being able to handle all of this and yourself. Because for me, like to be honest with you, like I I never like I I I I don't think it was hard for me at all to stay with you. That's crazy, I never wanted not to be with you. Crazy, it's so it's crazy for me to hear so yeah, but what how I see all of this that you explained for me it's a resistance that we have, and everybody is having other areas of life, yeah, but also we many people have the same areas of life where they have resistance, and the resistance is like I would like easily just say that it's something you don't want, okay. And like the biggest like lessons or the biggest resistances that we have or we had or we've been having is I guess in relationships and in business, those I feel like are like two like the biggest things for us.

SPEAKER_05

You and me? Yeah, like separately but also together, yes, yes, right?

SPEAKER_06

So I feel like that this is like where the biggest resistances we have been having. I don't know, English. Let's let's say like that. And if you have like resistance towards something and you don't want something, that then it makes you feel shitty. And when you feel shitty, like you can um react to that shittiness in many ways, right? Like somebody does what you do, which is yelling and punching pillows and and you know, whatever you do, then there are people that just say fuck this shit and they just leave, you know, and then there are people who close down and don't speak, or like whatever is your way of like somebody goes and drinks a bottle of vodka, you know, or somebody does drugs or whatever they do. So yeah, so but basically for me, like what you were talking about is resistance towards something, and then you said that slowly I was pouring something into, but actually, how I see it is that like you kind of build tolerance towards that, and it's like if I take you right now and I put you into some I don't know, cold Canadian winter time or in Siberia in Russia, like you would feel fucking cold first month or two or three or five, but then like you would be more and more okay with being there, right? And that means that you are adapting, you are like more and more okay with that. But in the beginning, like you resisted, you're like, no, I don't want that shit. I don't want that, I I don't want this. I this is not what I'm gonna have in my life, and until this is how you look at it, let's say that I don't know, like I do something, and you feel like that you wanna break up with me, and you're like, no, I don't want to be with him, let's say. So you are resisting it, and you're like, no, no, no, and you are like, so that's the resistance I'm talking about, right? But then once you are like, okay, well, this is how it is, this is my relationship, and yes, we argue, and yes, I feel like shit, and it's all okay, you know, and slowly, slowly you are going towards the point where you are just okay with that and you don't mind that, and that's how you you know stop resisting basically, and once you stop resisting, you feel amazing, and you can, like you said, be in the present moment because you accept yeah, like love, yeah, not resisting and accepting basically the same thing, and exactly, and then your capacity to love is increasing because basically the resistance is lack of love, right? So love is lack of resistance.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, resistance is lack of love, yes.

SPEAKER_06

So, yeah, so basically, like I feel like that this is what's been happening that you went from I don't want this into I'm okay with this into I love this, you know? And that's the evolution that happened, and but I can't really say that I ever reached a point where I was like, okay, okay, what like we fight and that's it.

SPEAKER_00

I never it really we stopped fighting, but why did we stop fighting?

SPEAKER_06

Because you suddenly stopped, like you slowly, like every time we fight it, like you less, I mean you more and more stop resisting it, or you resisted it less and less. That's what I'm trying to say. And that's that's the thing. But not consciously, it doesn't have to be conscious, it happens whether you want or not. You you can't postpone, you can slow down, you can speed up your evolution, you can like it just happens. Like m many of these things happen without you participating in it in a conscious way, it just happens subconsciously. But It's happening, and that's why the fights were like more and more like better because there was less and less resistance towards that, you know. It's like same how it happened with the business, same how it happened with like anything. Like, remember how was your face and how you was resisting yourself?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I had huge acne.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, and you said you were saying that you look ugly and all of that shit, you know, and then like suddenly you stop resisting yourself and you'll be like, okay, well, this is me, this is how I look. I don't have to love it, but I accept it, and then that's the first step, and then you go towards like more and more love.

SPEAKER_00

You know what's crazy? Because can I say?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I think that so I'm projecting on our listener now. And maybe they ask, well, okay, so how do I start to be like, okay, this is it, I accept it. And that would be the question, because it looks like that's the like a golden ticket to being okay with stuff and for everything to change.

SPEAKER_04

But I think it is in a way.

SPEAKER_00

It is. But I think you know, but it takes time. It's not just like hobna krawa buy.

SPEAKER_06

How do you say that?

SPEAKER_00

Hop on cow, and there will be a little cough.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, it's not like that, right? It takes time and but like and the process, but like, you know, it like there are two things you can be telling yourself when you feel the shittiest, right? Or when you are in the middle of these things, or like when it's let's say that the argument finished and like you are still bubbling inside, and you're like, you are angry, or you're sad, or whatever you are. And there, like you can either be saying to yourself, like, he's such a fucking blah blah blah, whatever, I hate them, I don't want this.

SPEAKER_00

This is exactly what I was telling myself.

SPEAKER_06

This is bullshit, you know. Like, you can be saying that to yourself, or you can be like telling yourself it's okay, even though it is not okay, and even though you do feel that anger, but like with saying yourself that it's alright, it it just moves you closer and closer to acceptance, and that and and that will move you closer and closer towards love, and all the resistance will disappear. So you can help it a little, but it's not like you can be like, okay, that's it. You know, it takes time, but every time you remind yourself that you don't want to be resisting and that you are moving towards acceptance and towards love, like but resisting the resistance is also the thing.

SPEAKER_00

Like, if you tell yourself, I don't want to resist, I don't want to resist, that's already resisting the resistance that is resistant of what that's just overthinking, over overthinking. Yeah, I mean To me, it's not because I went through it. For you, it doesn't exist, you don't even like live this kind of thing. I don't think what I really live or not, but but like it's not that easy, and I think the only thing that really started kind of helping me at the end, even though we must say that we used energy healing for probably like four or five four years as a tool that we believed will solve all of our problems, right? Is uh like the in meditation, you go and you speak to your I don't know, whatever your body, and uh you asked why is this happening and what's the root, and then you release it, and I don't wanna like judge it or make it like a horrible thing. A little bit feels like to me that you I know, uh so I okay, so let's start over. I'm not gonna cut it out. Okay, let's not resist that that was part. In 2021.

SPEAKER_06

But okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, what?

SPEAKER_06

I mean, we were speaking about something now, you're gonna go to the box and we can speak. It has not about a whole uh episode can be just about this.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm not gonna speak about it for that long. Okay. You know why I'm talking about it and I'm opening this box that you see, which I don't, is because the resistance was there because we believed that by healing we are removing the resistance. But actually we're creating even more resistance towards our relationship. So after every fight, so in 2021, we met these people, the couple, who were healers, and they we will speak about it later in the chronological one where we speak about our story. But for the per purpose of this conversation in this specific episode, I want to say that we both, me and Tomas, learned how to do energy healing, which is you just basically get yourself in a different wavelength into theta waves, right? Like from the bit beta and gamma that you have normally throughout the day, or alpha if you're like chilling, you go into theta, right? You focus on your breath and blah blah blah. And then once you enter there, you're really like present and whatever, just you can basically hear things or speak to I don't even know what anymore. And is this new age spirituality kind of tool that people even do courses about, they they think they're teaching you something, and we all have to go through this white magic period of our life where we believe that we found the magic pill for every problem and it's a solution. It is not, we know now, but basically, we were using this process, the energy healing, as a tool that we believed was helping us solve each fight and each problem and each wound, and heal basically like our past and clear the wounds from the childhood and all these things that everybody speaks about, right? And when we were doing that, today we know if you're doing it, it's fine. I absolutely like cheer you on. If it works for you, great. Everybody must go through this period of time in their life, I think. And so, but actually, what we know today is that by us believing that the healing is a tool that will change things, it was already coming from a resistance and from not liking what was there, and from us needing to change how things were, which is just more resistance. And we kept doing it every day, and we even felt like the more the better, because that's what we were taught by this couple, and like we really believed that that's the way. Well, turns out it was just creating more resistance, and now I'm coming to the reason why I mentioned this. It is because it's not like we wasted, of course, we didn't waste any time, we needed to go through all of this. Today we don't meditate, we don't do any healing, we don't do anything of this kind of spiritual thing, we don't have crystals, we left we let everything go. And we now even have a beer, you know, we didn't drink for three and a half years, and we really, really fell into this trap. And that's really great because we learned a lot through it, but it just created more resistance, and after a few years of doing it, we realized nothing changed, nothing improved. And we're like, what the fuck? And then my dad died, and everything changed. From that day, I stopped doing everything and it led us here. It led us into this life of acceptance, and so yeah, basically us thinking we found the tool to help us out of this resistance was creating more resistance. And once we let that go, once we stopped trying to change everything through the healing, we found that everything is basically fine as it is, right? And we're safe. Cool podcast.

SPEAKER_06

Do you want to include me somewhere or like yeah? Okay, well the only thing of it. Well, the only thing that I wanna say about all of this is that every time you said we, it's you because I don't really have this kind of experience. I mean, I some of it I do, but like maybe 20-30%. But every like most of it what you were describing is what you were going through.

SPEAKER_00

And so this is why I wanted this to be solo episode because like, do you have any questions or something? Like, this is my experience, and I understand you have different one, and you are here, that's great.

SPEAKER_06

Like, it's perfect, and I come on, I let you speak a lot in the beginning, and then again, I'm not jumping you into that. I'm letting you to say anything you want, and it is mostly your solo episode. I just had something I was just speaking about resistance uh at some point, and I don't wanna really participate in this what you were saying, and but I just wanted to why not? I just wanted to put it, I just wanted to say that everything that you said with Wii was you because that's not really my experience. And why not? Because I don't feel like it's the time. I I feel like we are speaking about basic things, how we created the business and and all of that, and like this big topic that you brought up for me. Like, I'm not I don't feel like speaking about it as a big thing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, for you, you judge it as a big topic. For me, it's just part of my life. Well, you called it big topics, yes, but it is big topic, it's real.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, but it's not a judgment, it's just something new that we never mentioned before. And for me, Lasenka, you can bring up anything you want. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm not saying it's bad, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm just telling you that for myself, I don't feel like speaking about that. I wanna come to that point where I naturally well when this naturally came into my life, and I don't feel like I'm there with things that I just I I so far that I was speaking about in this podcast. I don't feel like this is something that me personally I wanna be speaking about, but um that's why, like you said, you wanted to have this alone, so it's perfectly okay. You can speak about anything you want, and I just wanted to say that yeah, that this was your experience, and uh mine was a little bit different, but it's perfect. Is that okay to how are you? What is happening?

SPEAKER_00

I'm triggered because I I I I allowed you, or I I was like, okay, yeah, let's do it together, to be on already like the fifth episode out of six that I made. And I thought you would be supportive uh part of this, what I'm saying, but I feel fear from you to actually talk about it, which is fine. I deeply and fully love and accept you. I just uh I feel resistance from you, and it's fine because this is my podcast, and I can talk about anything. Everything for me that happened before, right now, is just past, and it just is, and there's no big topic or small topic or something to be ashamed of or scared of or you know, not talk about. And that's why can I finish? Can I finish? And I just want to say that that's why I made this podcast because I want to talk about things that people and this has nothing to do with you, I just want to talk about this right now. So I I want to talk about things that people normally have some kind of resistance to. Either it's too much or it's too shameful, or it's like unpopular opinion or something. And basically I get to the point in my life where I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I'm just gonna talk about everything the way it is, the way I see it. And I only think I I I I just thought you would join me and that you would make this conversation more developed. So I wasn't ready, I guess. I had expectations, which is my fault, right? It's my bad that I I I I thought that you would bring this conversation into like better, more like you know, level that is more interesting. But actually, half of the time you're quiet, and then when I want you to speak, you're like, that's not my experience, that's not me, it's not what I experienced, it's just you, and I don't want to talk about it. So, okay, then why are you here? Kind of that's how I feel, you know. Like, why what are you doing here? Then like I understand I'm talking. Basically, the topic of this was completely something that is not about you, it's about my experience of this relationship, and we both I think it's really clear, we both have very different experience from a relationship. That's why it's just like I guess I don't know. I I just thought we would have fun, but I'm not having fun right now, so I will have fun alone, but right like this, I have to take you into consideration.

SPEAKER_06

And what does it mean? You have to take me into consideration because you said first 15 minutes you were speaking, and then I said something to the topic, and then there was another 15 minutes you were speaking, and to that thing I said that I don't really feel like speaking about the topic, which is completely okay because you said yourself, this is your podcast, and you there is you want to speak about anything, and same as you are free to speak about anything, I in the same way I am free to say that I'm sorry, but this is not what I feel like talking about, right? So it's the same thing. If I start speaking about how I put good in the morning, like it's the same acceptable as saying as I'm sorry, but this there's not much I want to say about this topic. Can I please finish? So, and then I just wanted to say because everything you were saying, you were saying we, we, we, we, we. So I just wanted to say that one one time, like eventually, I know I will also speak about this topic, but I just wanted to tell you that everything you just said, because for me, it's not about what you say to people, but for me, I feel like you are speaking to me. And when you say everything to me as we, we, we, we, we, I just want you to know that what you just said that's not how I see this part of my life.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, like, yeah, okay, so you're just saying that for me to speak about me. Okay, guys, so just whoever's listening, everything I said, it was just me, he wasn't part of it.

SPEAKER_06

So I'm sorry if you wanna just do it alone, like this episode again or whatever, like it's fine. Um, but I I feel like that even if I'm just sitting here and you are speaking for 40 minutes and I said three words, like it doesn't matter, right? I don't necessarily have to participate, or is it like as I said, I thought you would make it more interesting. Didn't I? First 15 minutes you were speaking, yeah, I said something for 10, right? So I did make it more interesting, or I said something, right? Is that correct or no? Like, do you recall that?

SPEAKER_00

Do you recall that I was speaking about you spoke about resistance and then I started to actually develop the train of thought in my own way. Yes, and I went into the healing part.

SPEAKER_06

And I let you develop and speak about resistance.

SPEAKER_00

You actually questioned it. You were like, Why are you talking about it?

SPEAKER_06

No, I didn't say that, and I didn't say it in that judgmental way, and you can check and you can see exactly what kind of tone I was speaking with, and whether I was like, nah, no, I was not like that, baby. I was just normally telling you like whatever I said there, but it was not judgmental. It didn't, I I I don't think it's bad that you said that. I didn't, I didn't, I don't think that you shouldn't be speaking about these things. Like you have like I'm giving you 100% freedom to speak about whatever you want to speak, and I'm I'm absolutely okay with you speak about anything, and all I'm asking you to give me the same freedom, and part of that freedom is to say that thank you, but this topic I don't feel like speaking right now.

SPEAKER_00

But it's triggering, you're on a fucking podcast.

SPEAKER_06

If you don't want to talk about it, then just but we never you never told me I will be speaking about this.

SPEAKER_00

Because because that's how I do podcasts.

SPEAKER_06

I just perfect, it just happens, but baby, this also just happens, like it just happens, same as for you. You go to one topic. For me, I don't want to go there. But why do you consider that bad? Why is it not acceptable for you? Or why do you resist that I don't want to speak about that? Like, does it mean to you that if I don't want to speak about it, it means you shouldn't speak about it?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I feel like I'm alone in it. Why are you then even here?

SPEAKER_06

Baby, if you don't want to do it, we're supposed to do this together. And we are doing it together.

SPEAKER_00

No, because when you say no, that's not what it's not me and I don't want to talk about it, then go fucking draw something. Do you know what it is?

SPEAKER_06

It just means that you don't accept the way I have things. That's what it is. Is there any universe where you can see that? Like you speak, I let you, I speak, you let me. Whatever I say is okay. Do you remember? Do you know how you're cutting out the fish? Do you know how to do it?

SPEAKER_00

I don't want this like this.

SPEAKER_06

And you know what does it mean when you don't want something? It means that you are resisting it, baby. I I we were just speaking about that. I mean, I I understand that it's hard, but like this is the thing that we are speaking in this episode. Like, what is it so bad that it's like that? And also, I just wanted to remind you like we string a beat, and it's 100% acceptable during string and a beat saying that you have nothing to say, right? So, why it wouldn't be acceptable in your freedom of speech podcast to say that this is not something I want to discuss. And and you know why I don't want to discuss this? I don't want to discuss this because for me it's a big topic. For me, like there's so much I have to say about that, and I don't want to just pinpoint it into like another conversation that we are having, like that's why I don't want to go there. This is this is for me a huge new box that for me, if I start speaking about it, I'm gonna be speaking for another half an hour just about that. So that's why I don't want to go there.

SPEAKER_00

I understand. I understand what is it.

SPEAKER_06

But if you do want to go there, I'm fine with this.

SPEAKER_00

Listen, Linda. Okay, thank you. I hear you, and I just want to tell you that it's this same feeling I had in the last episode as well when we were recording, because the way you think and the way you understand and make sense of life and speech and talking and conversation and speaking things is completely different than mine. Yeah, and my work here, and what gets triggered is me. I guess I had this kind of idea or illusion in my head that we will just flow and dance and talk. But in the second episode, no, you said that you want to have it structured, you want three points we are speaking about, and you need to know exactly the topic.

SPEAKER_06

You know what's funny? That this is exactly what you said a couple episodes ago, and I told you that that's not really what I need. And again, you are saying that that's what I need. Maybe we are flowing and we are doing exactly what you said, it just doesn't look the way that you want. And I and and I honestly I understand because I went through the same thing a couple episodes ago. Like when you start jumping to these boxes and you start talking about this and this and this. It doesn't matter. That's how I see that. That's not the problem. You like it doesn't matter, it's just for me, I hate your boxes. For me, it's really hard to navigate that and to just like speak in that way. But if you wish to speak like that, I already, after these five episodes, I learned that I just let you speak about whatever. But I don't have to engage into everything and every topic that you bring up because you speak for 15 minutes. I don't know if you realize that, but the first time you start speaking was 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_00

So my first episode is 40 minutes without the pause.

SPEAKER_06

Can I can I can I please finish? If you speak about 15 minutes, for me to react to everything you say in those 15 minutes is close to impossible. So that's why I just react to whatever I want to react, and I don't react to what I don't want to react. And if you want me to react to something I didn't, you can always ask me. Like we can take a break if you need. Like, I don't know what's going on. Let's just take a break, baby.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Yeah, we're back. I took a break and I went to have a little cry in the toilet for 35 seconds, and something interesting happened. So I understood why this happened, and I'm gonna tell you now, baby. When we I don't know if you remember, we were still in Slovakia, it was summer 2025, and we were trying to record podcasts. But without video, this was without video. And I don't know if you remember this one, we started to really get triggered, really, and this was the reason why we actually couldn't record it and we couldn't start back then one year ago yet.

SPEAKER_06

Can I just can I just please ask you when you speak? Can you just speak for yourself? Because again, I I I remember that scene differently, and I don't want to be just like jumping to your speech and saying, like, for me it was like this, for me it was like this. You know what I mean? So can you just speak how to do that?

SPEAKER_00

But what I remember, what I remember is that you said literally that you cannot do this, that you are so furious about. What I'm saying, and you don't agree with it, and you just can't sit there and listen to me. Do you remember this?

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So this is what I remember. And I told you in that episode, it probably is somewhere in my phone, recorded. I told you that one day my idea or what I would love to do one day is to actually have disagreement in real time, record it and show people how we deal with it in real time. And this was actually when we tried to speak about the I feel or I am triggered tool. We wanted to actually create podcasts about the I am triggered tool. And it became so triggering that even the I am triggered tool that we thought is a tool back then didn't work, and then we just quit and never record it again. So I think because I said it and I create with my words, I'm a manifester. I create things when I speak. What happened is that now one year later, that's exactly what's happening. I asked for this, I wanted this, even though my judge judge, inner judge, and inner critic is freaking out and is saying, This is bullshit, you shouldn't post this, nobody cares. That's how I know that this is exactly what I'm gonna post. Because we just went through what we go through every day. If we have a conversation, just us two. We challenge each other, we have this disagreement, and just exactly what happened. I get really angry, I resist, then you try to bring it back. This is what I see, this is my experience, and I have to keep saying it so that there's no misunderstanding. That's what I need to do because this podcast is now with you, so it's a little bit annoying, but okay.

SPEAKER_04

But what is annoying about when you speak about yourself because I have to explain why?

SPEAKER_00

Because I have to explain.

SPEAKER_06

No, all you need to do is instead of we, you say I. That's all. That's all I'm asking you. Because I just wanna like eventually, if I ever like if I sometimes get a space to speak about my experience, like I wanna say my own experience, and I don't wanna be included in we understand because it's like I have so different experience than you, even though I was in the same situation, but just it's just completely different than what you experienced. Do you understand?

SPEAKER_00

I understand, and I hear you. Huh?

SPEAKER_06

You do understand?

SPEAKER_00

I do, you do a hundred million percent. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

So you understand, okay, just making sure. No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, look, this is again what is life. This is life.

SPEAKER_06

But it's I like this is one of the things that I remember. Okay, so what I remember is that we were trying to create the podcast, and like either you or me were speaking as we. But when you were speaking as we, like it was so far from what I wanted to say or how I felt or what I experienced that it was triggering for me. And I felt like, why would you say it like things like this? That's like that's that like it didn't happen for me, right? And uh and yeah, so I remember that. I don't remember those details that you mentioned, but I remember that it was triggering for me when we were speaking about us, because if we speak about us, it's just it's just it's just such a completely different experience that that of course one of us is gonna be like not agreeing what the other person says. But if you speak about your own experience, even though I was there, and even if you say, like you said, like now, you said I remember you saying this, like that's completely okay for me because it's what you remember. And even if you remember that I did something that never happened, it's fine because that's what you remember. Yeah, I can argue with that, right? And it's completely okay for me if you remember something. So, yeah, so so that's why like I just wanted to ask you to speak for yourself, you know, your experience. Yes, it was with me, but it was like this is how you see that.

SPEAKER_00

I think that's really the point of us being together on this podcast because it's showing how two people can have completely different understanding, experience, and exactly and and also when you can every time when the bike will go, I will just start speaking because you stop, so it's my time to say something.

SPEAKER_06

Exactly now, perfect. So, you know, um when because when you when you like when you say something for five-ten minutes and you speak about we and us, then I feel like there's no space for me because you already said it for us. But if you say it for yourself and then you give me space to say the same period of time or same situation, situation from my point of view, then I feel like I feel free and I feel like I can speak there. But if you say it's already for us, then it means it's for both of us, but it's actually not. You understand? Yes, and I think this is what I see that that this podcast taught me so far, and is this part where you have whatever however you see things, I just accept that and it's okay for me, and that's your that that's your experience, and it's okay, whatever it is. And also I have different ones, and it's also okay.

SPEAKER_00

So I guess me saying we you know what it makes in me? I'm waiting for you to agree, and when you disagree, then I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but I'm not I can I can't agree on something that never happened for me, you know. Or what I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think this is fucking beautiful, honestly, because I edited the last podcast two days ago, and I posted it today. And that was the reason why I wanted to speak about what this podcast started with. It was like me seeing again the conflict there and the resolution and us agreeing and you know connecting even deeper, just like what happened now. It's like a fucking pattern, and it was it's exactly like in real time, we are recording what is happening on daily basis, right?

SPEAKER_06

Because this we challenge each other and we do trigger each other, and with everything we challenge and we like you know what? Like, okay, so now since you said it, so I'm gonna say how I see it, okay? I but because for me, challenging somebody is jump from the roof. That's me challenging you, like make 50 push-ups. I'm challenging you to make 50 push-ups. That's challenging for me, you know? Like, this is for me a challenge. This is how I see it, okay? This is my own perception of birth challenge. When somebody says challenge, it means for me, like that somebody is challenging somebody to do something because they are like, you will not do that because you are too weak. I'm challenging you. I dare you. That's a thing. That's a challenge for me. But for me, what we speak is that I say something, and when I'm speaking something, you have resistance towards what I speak, or otherwise around. Okay, you are doing something or you are speaking something, and I have resistance towards what you do or what you say. And I don't see it as a challenge, I see it as a resistance in me or in you, and the and and and where it's leading us, and I see even like progress in these five episodes in me, is that before when you were jumping to three 300 boxes and opening the topics and and just just just just going completely out of any anything my mind can handle. Like for me, it like it was really triggering for me in the first episodes because like I was resisting it because I just wanted to have some kind of like sense in what we are talking about. I wanted to have some kind of like it's not like I need a structure that one, two, three, and we speak only about this and nothing else. And if you go away from that, it's a bubba. No, no, no, not like that, but just like I want to have it hava and peta.

SPEAKER_00

A head and a heel.

SPEAKER_06

Like those are like sayings in Slovakia that we have, but I want things to have hlava and peta, which means that you know what you're talking about, and you stay on that and you make a point and you you finish it, and then you maybe you just um how you say it when you repeat just the main most important things what we talked about, and the whole thing makes sense because it it's just like I don't know if you watch a video how to create um boat. So you start with getting wood, then you shape it, then you make a boat, and then you go to the water, and then you then you can uh how you say it when you ride a boat, and then you can go boating. Yes, you can go boating. That that's not how you say it, but whatever. So so so this is this is for me something that has head and heel. Like you are having the whole yeah, the whole story, like yeah, but like when you go to these things, like for me it's really hard, but like I over these five episodes I can see how much more acceptive I am I was today compared to how I was just a couple episodes ago, and yeah, and maybe the same thing is now you know coming to you to be accepted when there are some let's say topics that I don't feel like speaking necessarily, and it's completely okay. And sometimes I'm I'm more quiet, and then sometimes I speak more. So, so you know that's my way, you know. Your way is just going into you know boxes that are just like I say, like a labyrinth. Yeah, you yeah, let's call it like that or the entrance back exactly. And for me, I just like to be in one room and just explore every corner and just like speak about it very you know, about everything in that one room.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I think that's what makes it beautiful.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I have two things to say, and I think I mean that's what makes it beautiful, but that's also what makes it for me to resist your way and for you to resist my way. But like when we learn, you know, to let go of the resistance, just accept each other the way that we are dealing with things. Yeah, and this is just one thing in life, like you know, that's exactly what this is. But you can find it everywhere, right? Like you can find it in like how like you are keeping stuff all over the room, and how I like to have organized stuff, you know, and you can find it everywhere, yeah, and you know, and and like my my desktop is full of shit, yeah, and yours is like so so so and and you know, like you learn this, and that's basically you increasing your acceptance and your love, like you said it in the beginning, and and we are getting coming full circle like in the last episode, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And you are letting go of all these resistances, you know, and this is why, baby, this is what I was gonna say, and I never got to there. This is why it happened, this is why this, let's say, conflict or disconnection or some kind of you know problem happened in the middle of this episode, and the same thing happened also in the last episode. It's because we're literally we're kind of like calling it in. Whatever we speak about, it happens in real time just to prove the concept of what we speak about. So we started this episode, and we're ending it with the fact that when there's a resistance, it is actually invitation to accept.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, right? And that's what happens in the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00

Of course, it's a resolution of uh some kind of like a hiccup. It actually feels amazing, right? And so why we feel good right now, why I feel good.

SPEAKER_06

But also I want to say that it was really.

SPEAKER_00

No, you cannot jump in my speech because I didn't finish already three points.

SPEAKER_06

Really?

SPEAKER_07

Yes, you have three points.

SPEAKER_00

Well, the first one you jumped in, like it's okay, but there is a lot of things. So what are the points? Okay, first one is I didn't make this podcast sooner because what you're saying I believed is wrong, and it's not a and I'm not a good podcaster. If I am not in one box and one room and organized, and it has head and a heel, nobody will listen.

SPEAKER_06

At all and at all.

SPEAKER_00

I believed this, and that's what kept me from not doing it until I said, fuck it, I'm gonna do it anyways, because I just wanna fucking talk. And whoever will listen will listen. I am not I'm not doing this for the results. I'm doing it because I just want to talk into a into a mic. That's the first thing. I see you resisted, but you are also not the target audience, you're not someone who will listen to this anyway. So I don't even have to care. The right people will come there, even if it's like one person, it's okay. So I wanted to say this. That's the first thing. Second thing is whatever happened today and in the last episode is exactly proving the concept of what we speak about. We can disagree, we can have the resistance, we go, we can still go through it with love and reach the acceptance point, which and reach the love point where we reconnect again without killing each other in the process, without losing love for each other, and with accepting we are completely different human beings, and we still can be in a fucking thriving relationship. You know, sometimes I I think about what is life, should be what is love, but that's okay, maybe one day. But these are the points I wanted to make. That actually it happens in real time so that we proved that what we speak about, we really live. Because we can speak about, yeah, in six years we learned this, but then the opportunity comes in real time, and I think that's fucking amazing. My inner critic is saying, Oh, but this is not a podcast about one, two, three, four, five. Well, it's not even meant to be. I don't want it to be like that. That's not my role in this world to do podcasts like everyone else. One, two, three, four, five. This is how to remove resistance and go to acceptance. No, that's not, I'm not a coach. I said in the beginning, I'm not a coach, I'm not a guide, I'm not a teacher. Your life will teach you. I'm not here to teach you, I'm just here to do what I love. And so you joined, and whatever happens in the container of that one hour or whatever happens, and I accept it and I post it.

SPEAKER_06

No, you do.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Well, it's a journey, it's a it's a of course it is, and it's probably gonna happen again. Like, you know, like this is gonna happen again, and yeah, you know, it's like it's just like every time it happens, we go through it with more ease and until it will not happen again, or until we will go through without any emotions at all, you know, and then it will desi disappear.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, exactly. So I would like to thank you.

SPEAKER_06

I would like to thank you too.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for thanking me. And I want to thank you because you know what you did.

SPEAKER_07

I did a lot of song starting.

SPEAKER_00

You helped me simplify the pattern of our conflicts or fights in the last six years because it is the resistance. And I feel like you have been triggering resistance in me, and just the intensity of that resistance which with which I react and have been reacting is going from really high to lower and lower. Like I'm able, it's almost like training one thing over and over again. It becomes faster, it becomes easier, and I feel like today is was the great example of that. It took us like 20 minutes, okay. But I was able to overcome it, go cry, come back, not make it a big deal, not make it the end of the world, not make it a mean that we have to break up, that you know we are not a good match, and it should be easier and we shouldn't fight because blah blah blah. So I want to thank you because you actually teach me with you just being you, not even trying to trigger me. You're actually teaching me how to you trigger that resistance in me, and every time it happens, we're becoming as you said, better. I'm becoming better and better in it, and going from resistance to acceptance in real time with you, accepting the way you are that you're different, that you have a different point of view, different experience, different relationship, different world, different universe, different planet, different mind, different everything, even though we're one.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but not a different planet, only universe, not even that.

SPEAKER_00

So what? That's my the way I see it.

SPEAKER_06

Just different uh experience.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and we still make it work. We still love each other as crazy.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, because I like I don't know, like for me it's not mind-blowing. For me, it doesn't connect. Like, why wouldn't we make it work? Like, that's how I feel. Like, why wouldn't we make it work just because you feel like talking like a labyrinth, and I just like to make a point and go? Like, why wouldn't we why wouldn't we make a like doing like that's that's that's again like that's your experience and my experience is that like when all of these things were happening in those past six years, like for me it was hard to understand and accept accept the part. Like what was going on in my mind was like why she wants to argue all the time if we love each other. Like it doesn't make any sense to argue. Like, why we why do we need to do that? Like, why she needs to go crazy about everything, you know? Like why we cannot just like normally talk things out, or you know, just just just and how do you see it now? But I never like and for you it was like we are not compatible or something like that. Like you wanted to to break up because something's wrong.

SPEAKER_00

So we make it we make it mean different things, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So how do you I want to ask you a question and give you the space and then we are done?

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

How do you see the difference between how I was before and reacted before? And now, how I am now? So before you said you were like, why do we why do we need to fight about everything? Why is she like this? Why when we love each other she needs to do all this? How what do you how do you look at it now? After that.

SPEAKER_06

So you are asking me about how do I look at it, or are you asking me how you were? Because you started the question about yourself and then you finished it, how I see it.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_06

Me.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Triggered.

SPEAKER_06

No, I I just want to understand. Like do you want me to speak about me? But I think it was a simple question. Yeah, but you started how to do it. No, can I forget it.

SPEAKER_00

And then you finished with I I asked a question. How do you see the difference in how I dealt with those conflicts and my you know so that's about you? And how I deal with it now.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, but you will listen and you will see that that's not what you how you finish the question.

SPEAKER_00

If I got a dollar every time you said I wish we were recording this about what you said, yeah, well, you will see, you will see, you will see.

SPEAKER_06

Um, okay, so I understand now. So yeah, um, it's honestly not easy for me to speak about you, but um I would say that your level of resistance is lower, and therefore there is more love, and therefore it's easier to go through things.

SPEAKER_00

Which was exactly my point of this podcast and this episode.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. I feel complete.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Because for me, you are and this relationship was the training ground or was the catalyst for this transformation to get into the not even get to the like there's no final destination, right? It's a process and it will be forever until we die. But this is exactly what was my point. Thanks to our conflicts, thanks to you triggering me and me going through the resistance over and over and over again, even making myself fucking sick, you know, because the resistance makes so much tension in the body, it shows everywhere that it actually helped me to become who I am now. And thank you for that. Because you showed me how to ease the resistance faster and just be fucking chill. Chiller, more chill.

SPEAKER_06

I feel like that again you are giving me credit, but I think you should give credit to yourself because in the end of the day, I have nothing to do with this. This is all you, this is your experience.

SPEAKER_00

I can still thank you.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, of course. But I can also say that I feel like that you are giving me credit, and I feel like you should give it to you. Because I feel that everything you said it's what you did. It's not me, it's not I that I showed you something or I triggered something. Like it was you doing all of this. I guess and I think you were the one who started accepting, and you were the one who started resisting, and you were the one who started seeing things differently, and it's all always you, even though yes, I was there, but I had my own things. Yeah, but in the end of the day, it doesn't matter who or what is there, it's always your lessons, and it all it's always your resistance that wants to be let go.

SPEAKER_00

I'm the one who cried, I'm the one who suffered, I'm the one who was sick, I'm the one who had king infection, I'm the one who needed to take one week off and cry in a room, I'm the one who who just really needed to feel it all. Yeah, I you're right.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. I don't even know if I if I believed in feeling it all anymore, to be honest, but that's also for another topic, you know, another way. In another podcast or whatever, another episode, it's whatever you say. Sorry. Are they okay?

SPEAKER_00

Well, this was interesting. I just when I was editing the last episode, I said there. It was like an LSD trip. This feels very similar.

SPEAKER_03

Really? You said that?

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

I don't recall. But I believe you said that.

SPEAKER_00

Are you even there? It's crazy. Everything I say, I feel like you don't remember anything.

SPEAKER_06

But it's fine. That's what I'm here for. Well, things I remember you don't. For you, like you don't know where you put your phone or your headphones or your laptop, and you keep forgetting, even though you had it in your hand, literally 15 seconds ago, or three. You know, and you don't remember that. And it's okay. And the same way I feel about your LSD speech. I don't remember that because I don't know. I guess I feel about it the same as you felt about your laptop 15 seconds ago. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

What do you resist that?

SPEAKER_00

No, I just want to say one last thing. I feel like this podcast, the fact that we record it together, is yet another kind of like a opportunity for us to practice going from resistance to acceptance. You know, because we stopped basically having those kind of fights that we used to. So now we created another opportunity for us to practice it in this interesting setting that would normally not happen. But I made it happen because I created the podcast What is Life?

SPEAKER_06

I feel like it's happening no matter what you do. If you record, if you don't record, if you go and close yourself in a room, or if you go out there and you are in the busy city, if you are with your parents or with your family, or if you are alone, or if you are like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You cannot escape it, and it's gonna happen over and over and over because this is how we evolve.

SPEAKER_00

But we are closed in a country apart from all of our friends and family, and like kind of living in a bubble. So obviously it's gonna be you and me, kind of. Or maybe it's just again just my experience.

SPEAKER_06

But it's not just us if you think about it. Like we have resistance in many things, not just like you know, about each other, not only in this relationship. It might be the biggest one, but you know, like what is big or small is again just like some kind of judgment, right? Or something, you know, but like it's happening like if we let's say just today, we went out to check a house, and the lady didn't have a keys to the house, and you felt resistance towards that, right? Like you're angry, I was like, what the fuck do you have one job? Exactly, and that's resistance, right? So so it's not just us, it happens anywhere. Like we go to restaurant, and I don't know, it's like three of us sit down and they bring one menu, and for me, it's like I do feel resistance towards that, you know, or like things like it happens anywhere, it doesn't matter. It doesn't, and it can be people and it can be situations, is the same thing. You can feel resistance towards people and you can feel resistance towards situations.

SPEAKER_00

What helped me the most, especially after my dad died, and it's something that my like the coach I used to have, John. He he broke his neck, snowboarding, and he said, you know, I was there, and I was just telling myself, this is what it is right now. You know, it's okay. Like I he accepted it immediately. And you know what? When my dad died, I remembered him like 24-7. I was reminding myself, this is what it is right now. This is what it is right now. It is what it is, this is what it is, it's not different, and I think that for me is something that is actually tangible that I can use. I don't have to use it anymore, but sometimes I do, and this is when I tell myself this is what it is right now. It brings me into a present moment, and it brings me into think this is what it is, it's not different, and it's not gonna be different just because I want to, and just because I resisted and I want it differently. No, this is what it is right now, and it kind of brings me into that present moment and acceptance. Yeah, so this podcast is what it is, and that's it. So thank you.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, what are we leaving with? I'm gonna go first. I'm leaving with opportunity to practice acceptance towards how this podcast went and practice non-judgment and non-resistance, and just be absolutely like, okay, this podcast was absolutely not what I thought it would be, but this is what it is right now. Proving the fucking concept, baby. That's what I'm living with. And you?

SPEAKER_06

I guess I'm closer to accepting your way of speaking and presenting yourself in this podcast.

SPEAKER_00

Well, thanks.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, well, it's happening all by itself. It's not like I'm trying or not trying.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand.

SPEAKER_06

But that's that's what I think.

SPEAKER_00

You know, when I do it alone, it's easy. And when I do it with you, it's harder.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but you know, all of those things that you quote unquote uh avoid by doing it alone, you get the same thing somewhere else. You get it like when you finish and then you speak to me, or you get it when you go check the house. Yeah, or you get it when you go to grocery store and you have to wait in the line, or it doesn't matter where it is through it with you. I think it's a it's a long life, whole life process. I don't think it's something you can get get over with. Yeah, you know, and and and you know, just accepting that that's part of your life is also a big thing.

SPEAKER_00

This is life. Everything is life, including the resistance, including this process, including the conflicts, including the lady not bringing the keys to the house viewing, including your dog having a skin problem and ear infection, including of you needing to pee three times during the or mean needing to pee three times during the during the podcast. And yeah, having a voice in my head that says this is too long, nobody will listen. That's life. All of this is life, and every time we record more and more, I understand everything is life, and it's just up to us what we see and what we focus on, and what we just experience, and it's just like that's it. Yeah, well, thank you guys for listening. Subscribe, subscribe, like, and comment. You know, leave us some reviews. I found how to do it now. And you can like rate, you can rate this podcast and you can leave a review. So if you want to do that, that would be great. If not, it's okay. I'm still yet to you know start talking about the podcast that it actually exists, still nobody knows on social media. Wish us luck, wish me luck. And yeah, it's a nice hobby for now. Let's see where it goes.

SPEAKER_06

I wanna say that if you listen to this, can you just write underneath the podcast that I listen to this? Because because Martina is telling me that she's she already like 10 people listen to the previous episode, and eight people listen to I don't know what, and then she's like, I just posted the podcast, the new podcast, and in one hour already three, four people are listening to it. And I I don't know, it's just it's very hard for me to believe that because like we don't advertise it anywhere, like it's literally like having a store in the middle of a woods where nobody goes and nobody knows you there. So for me, it's like it's really surprising that somebody is actually listening to that. So I just wanna I just wanna know that you actually are. So if you can just write a comment underneath that you actually listen to it, that would be amazing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, please, please, always every episode tell him that you listen to it.

SPEAKER_06

Not every, just if you just because he just can't believe that this has any value. I but I never said I don't believe any value. Okay, that's what I said. Yeah. So why would you say that I believe that?

SPEAKER_01

Whatever. This did have its own.

SPEAKER_06

And maybe if you if you listen to last two or three or four, you can write that you listen to all of them. Or like whatever, just like I wanna know. Like, I really need a proof.

SPEAKER_00

You have proof in numbers.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, it's it's not like me changing VPNs and listening to my own podcast. Can I also have proof in in comments?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, please, guys.

SPEAKER_06

I just want to like a real person saying that they listen to it.

SPEAKER_00

Still, they can't co I think they can't comment on it on Apple podcast, only on YouTube.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, so on YouTube, like send send us a message or yeah, there's a fan mail. You can just do anything, just like let me know like that you listen to it. Thank you. It's all I thought I want. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, so with this, the resistance to acceptance episode in real time is done.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Bye bye.