How to Be More Interesting in English Conversations

Have you ever finished an English conversation wishing it had gone differently?

Maybe there were awkward silences. Maybe you weren't sure what to say next. Or maybe you left wishing you'd made a better connection.

In this episode, Emma shares a simple shift that will help you build stronger connections in English conversations, without needing perfect English or fascinating stories.

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You'll learn how to ask better questions, keep conversations flowing naturally, and use your listening, reactions and body language to help the other person feel seen, heard and valued.

Emma also explains why curiosity is about more than asking questions. It means showing the other person that you're listening, noticing what they say and giving them room to share more.

If you find small talk awkward, worry about running out of things to say, or want to feel more connected to the people you speak with, this episode will give you a practical way to approach conversations differently.

💬 About Emma

Emma is the founder of Hey Lady! and creator of the YouTube channel mmmEnglish, trusted by more than 6 million English learners worldwide.

Hey Lady! is a global English-speaking community where women build confidence through real conversations, connection and consistent speaking practice.

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🎤 Have a question or challenge you'd like Emma to talk about in a future episode?

You can send a voice message or share your experience below.

Transcript

0:00

How many times have you left an English conversation and thought,"That was so embarrassing. Why am I so awkward?" Like when someone in the office asks you,"What did you do on the weekend?" A perfectly normal small talk question, and you say I just stayed home. And they smiled, and you smiled, and that was the end of it. And later in the day, you replay that same conversation in your head, and you think, "Oh, why didn't I say more? Why am I so boring?" But being interesting to talk to isn't about always having a fascinating story to tell. It's about being curious, and just as importantly, it's about showing the other person that you're curious. Hey, ladies. Welcome back, and a big, warm welcome to any of you who are joining for the very first time. This is The Confident English podcast. My name is Emma. I'm the founder of Hey Lady!, an online community that brings women together from all around the world to practise speaking English. Every week, we break down the barriers that keep you from speaking with confidence, whether that's at work, while you're traveling, or in everyday life. If you've been learning English for a long time, but you're still struggling to speak up, you are in exactly the right place. All right, let's get into the episode. So here's a question that I received this week from Camilla. She says, Hi, Emma. Thank you for making the podcast.

My challenge is: 2:11

when I speak English with a new person, I don't know how to make the connection. I would like to know my colleague, but I don't think they want to know me. I try to make small talk, but I'm not very interesting, maybe boring.

So my question is: 2:31

how can I be interesting in English? Camilla, I love this question so much, and thank you for asking it. Anyone who speaks a second language knows this feeling, when you can't find the right words or the tone or the expressions that you would use in your native language to share your ideas. But I want to share a take on this that might help you to be more interesting in English conversations without having to have something interesting to say. Instead of focusing so much on yourself, shift the focus onto them. Be curious. Often, the people we enjoy talking to the most aren't the ones with the best stories. They're the ones who make us feel interesting. They listen closely, they react, they ask questions, and we can tell from their face and their body language that they genuinely want to hear more. So that is what I mean when I say be curious. Curiosity isn't only something that you feel, it's something that you show. Let's say your colleague tells you that they went away for the weekend. When you're curious, you might look interested and say, "Oh, really? Where did you stay?" And then while she answers, you keep listening. You don't look around the room. You don't check your phone. You definitely don't start planning your next sentence. You give her your full attention. Maybe she says, " We stayed near Margaret River." So you could follow up with, "What did you get up to while you were there?" That question tells her exactly what she needs to hear." I heard you. I'm interested. Keep going." You don't need a clever new topic. You don't need to be witty. You just need to notice something that she said and then follow it. Being curious is about more than just asking questions. Your face, your voice, and your body, they are all part of the conversation too. A smile can show warmth. A surprised expression can show that something caught your attention. A little nod can encourage someone to continue. Even a small reaction like, " Really?" or, " Wow." " That sounds nice." It shows that you're involved, that you're tuned in, and these signals matter because they help the other person to feel valued and noticed and understood. Without interrupting them, you're saying, " I'm here. I'm listening. What you're saying matters, and I want to know more." This piece of advice is especially helpful when you're speaking English because you don't always need a long or a perfect response to show curiosity. Sometimes your reaction is enough just to keep the other person talking while you process what they've said. But your response needs to feel genuine, and curiosity is not always excitement and smiling and nodding. Curiosity can also sound like Oh, that must have been difficult. What happened after that? So how did that make you feel?" This is about genuine curiosity. It's not about performing interest. It is letting the other person see the interest that you already feel. Being curious is also about asking questions that give the other person room to answer with detail. So if you compare, " Did you have a good weekend?" with, " What did you get up to on the weekend?" The first question can be answered with yes or no, but the second one gives you more to listen to, more to respond to, more to react to. Instead of asking, " Do you like your job?" You could ask, " What do you enjoy most about your work?" Instead of, "Was your holiday good?" You can try, " What was the best part of your holiday?" These types of questions, open questions, are really helpful when a conversation is starting to slow down because they open it back up again, and they give you time to listen. They give you time to settle into the conversation and notice things, notice some things that you would like to follow up on. So Camilla, this whole process is not actually about you being interesting. It's about you being interested and making the other person feel interesting Because that is ultimately what makes you interesting to talk to. Something to keep in mind is that curiosity has a particular rhythm. You ask, you listen, you acknowledge what they said, and then you decide if you want to ask another question or you wanna share something of your own, something connected to what they said. You're not trying to control the situation here, you're helping it to develop. You're helping it to open up. Just to be clear, this is not about making the other person do all the talking, although that is a consequence here. A good conversation still needs you to contribute, right? You might share a reaction, or an opinion, or maybe a little personal anecdote. If someone says, "I'm going camping this weekend," you could say, " Oh, I've never been camping before. What do you love about it?" Or, "That sounds fun. I love being outdoors, but I'm not sure I'd sleep well in a tent." Now, you're still showing curiosity, but you're also giving the other person something to respond to about you. You're letting them know what to do next in the conversation, and that is what creates connection. That is what creates a positive experience, an interesting conversation You don't need to dominate the whole thing or tell a big, amazing story. You're simply showing them, " I'm listening and I'm here with you." So Camilla, when you are worried about being boring, be curious. When you notice that you're too focused on yourself, flip that around and focus on them. Focus on being curious. When people feel heard and acknowledged, they enjoy talking to you, and that's what makes your conversation interesting. Curiosity is something that we teach and practise inside the Hey Lady! Speaking community. Our members come from so many different countries and cultures and career backgrounds, so every conversation is an opportunity to practise this, to discover something new or different about someone's life or culture or experiences. And in these conversations together, you can practise this skill of being curious. You can practise listening carefully to what someone says and following up on it. And because the conversations inside Hey Lady! are friendly and low pressure, then you can start paying attention to how you feel as someone is listening to you. Maybe she smiles at you when you begin speaking. Maybe she leans in slightly, or she nods, or she reacts to something that you say. Notice how all of those small little signals make you feel, and they encourage you to keep going because you can see that she's interested. With practice, showing curiosity becomes a natural part of how you connect with people, and it makes you interesting and enjoyable to talk to. And then when you're speaking to a colleague or you're meeting someone at an event or you're chatting with your neighbor, you're not searching desperately for something interesting and profound to say. You're simply paying attention to the person who's right there in front of you. Hey Lady! has a free seven-day trial for all new members, so you are welcome to come inside. Come inside, see what we do, and practise being curious with us. Now, I would love to hear from you. How are you going to practise curiosity this week? If you're watching on YouTube, then head down to the comments. Leave me a little note down there and tell me how are you going to practise curiosity this week. Thanks for tuning in, and I will see you for next week's episode right here on the Confident English Podcast.