The Loew Down
The Loew Down is the podcast where Hamilton's small business community tells its own story — origin stories, pivots, hard lessons and the real advice that only comes from someone who's actually been through it.
The Loew Down
Michelle's Story: Twenty Years in the Trenches, Still Proving It
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She's spent two decades in pediatric medical and mental health and she still has to convince parents she's worth paying for.
Michelle McVittie is a certified child life specialist and parenting coach behind Mom the Manager, and the recurring parenting expert on CHCH Morning Live. She works with families navigating ADHD, anxiety, and strong-willed kids — the ones therapy waitlists can't always reach fast enough.
We get into the real gap nobody talks about: she's not covered by insurance, even though a therapist with a fraction of her experience often is. We talk about the shame that keeps parents from picking up the phone in the first place, and the thirty-second introduction she's built so specific that people remember her name in a room of strangers. We also ask her the question we ask everyone — if she started over tomorrow, what would she do differently.
Find Michelle at momthemanager.ca and on Instagram @momthemanager.
Because your story matters.
You're listening to The Lowdown. I'm Kasty Lowen, Real Conversations with Small Business Owners in Hamilton. The version they tell their best friends, not the one they post. Because your story matters. So let's get into it. Hey and welcome back to The Lowdown. I'm your host, Casty, and today we have Michelle McVitie. In other words, the mom manager. Welcome, Michelle. Thank you for having me. Michelle, for someone in Hamilton who has never heard your name before, who is Michelle McViddy?
SPEAKER_01Michelle McViddy is a parenting coach and a childlife specialist, someone who understands behavior from two decades of experience in pediatric, medical, and mental health. And I create support for parents in many different ways: one-on-one, visuals, on-demand programming, and I specialize in older children, as in like five and six and up. And I work with ADHD, anxiety, strong-willed children, and parenting teens, because children don't come with a manual. And I'm also the CHCH morning live parenting expert. So you can check me out once a month. That's awesome, Michelle. How did you get onto CHCH? Yeah, so it was a long time ago. I wrote a book called I Quit, Oh, Wait, I'm the Mom, a self-help book for moms who find their joy in motherhood. And yeah, Annette and I just clicked. She really liked what I had uh to offer. So I pitched a few ideas and they've been putting me on more and more and more throughout the years. I think it's been seven years. And Annette is actually now retiring. So we've kind of gone through this cycle together, and it's been really cool. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wow, that's awesome. Are you on once a week then? Or how often are you on?
SPEAKER_01Once a month I'm on. Yeah. And then different topics, sometimes they choose topics for me, and sometimes I kind of see what the what the pulse is in the world, what I'm dealing with with my own clients, what I'm seeing on Facebook groups and and things like that that uh parents are struggling with. And then we create a five-minute segment.
SPEAKER_00And yeah. Okay, cool. So you get to help figure out what the topic is about then.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I do. I have a lot of a lot of say, which is amazing. And they trust me, we have a really great relationship. And just choosing things that one is in my expertise, but also that I do feel is a common theme that is coming up. I run two Facebook groups as well. So I see those questions coming up in my groups and just from my clients as well, just seeing what are those things that are happening right now.
SPEAKER_00Okay, that makes I mean it makes a lot of sense. You are operating in a space where anyone can put coach into their bio tomorrow. What has that actually meant for your business?
SPEAKER_01I know it's a good question because coach, the reason why coach can be really helpful is that it's different than therapy. But I don't know if people know that. Coach is where I empower a parent with clear steps, science-backed strategies, and that I'm here as a guide, right? I'm here to guide you. Whereas, you know, treatment or therapy looks a little bit different. They use, you know, more manualized support, not everybody, but it's just a different lens. And coach, yes, there's a lot of coaches out there. There's a lot of noise in the world. So when I, you know, say I'm a coach, what I'm doing that for is to say, I'm not here to therapise you because that's not my role, but I am here to guide you, to support you, to help you understand your child's behaviors or your teen's behaviors and set up a clear plan with strategies that fit.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So you're you're like a walking-talking manual. I am, yeah. So that parents can rely on for you. And you also have that child life specialist designation as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So a lot of people, I think more people understand what a child life specialist is and what it is is a psychosocial role for uh children and families when they are hospitalized or they are in the medical system. And then I was the first child life specialist to work with the eating disorder population in patients. So the mental health piece is now part of where child life is also seen, where we're supporting families, teens, children through that mental health role inpatient. Sometimes they have child and youth workers, but in my role, it was specific that they asked for a child life specialist. And so I have like quite a lot of experience, lots of mentorship. It's been really amazing to have the supervision that I get. So that's the other piece to the coach that maybe people wouldn't understand. But yes, the child life role is really just around understanding, explaining things a child or teen level and wrapping around the family. So there's less traumatic events and there's more empowerment for the child, the teen, and the family in general.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And as a coach and a childlife specialist, you're not covered by insurance. A therapist with a fraction of your experience often is. What does that mean day-to-day for the parents who need you?
SPEAKER_01I know it it is a problem. And I used to be able to bill, I work, I also work for private practice as well as my own business. And uh the psychologist was able to supervise me, and we were able to bill, but they changed that because I wasn't working towards my designation as a registered, you know, psychotherapist or social worker. So, what is sad for me is that in that instance, when I had supervision, parents were able to bill, it was a no-brainer. It really, there's a lot of gaps in service, and what is funded is therapy. And usually children and teens are not interested. And parent coaching, sure, can be done by a psychotherapist, by a social worker, but I have been in the trenches for many, many years. I get it. And that's why it's tough for a parent when they're thinking, I have to pay for this versus I'm gonna find somebody where um I will be able to bill. But where I feel, you know, my super my superpower is understanding families and children. Parents will even email me and be like, How do you know my life? How do you know my child? And maybe it's not a great business model, but I work with families that are committed, already doing amazing things, and I don't see them for months and months. That is not my model. I'm not setting up three-month, you know, programs, six-month programs. Sometimes parents are coming to me and they see me for one session, two sessions, maybe three sessions, or do my check-in, you know, I have a check-in option too through WhatsApp. So it's like I lead them to where they need to be in a way that's manageable and not going to be a huge, huge investment, but you get individualized support answers right now. So usually it's not that big of a barrier for families, especially when they get to know me or they've seen my content or they followed me. But it can be hard because of all the noise out there and knowing where to go. And I do notice that a lot of clinicians are saying, yes, absolutely, I can support you. There's programming out there for children. But what I have seen, um, and I'm also trained in family checkup, which is evidence-based, that parent component is so, so important and makes helps a parent feel more effective because you can't always change a child, but you can change how you respond. So initially, maybe I won't get as many clients, they may go to somebody, which could be just as effective, but I haven't, it hasn't been a huge barrier because parents do really value it. My clients really value it that come to me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so they they're coming to you, they make an appointment and you see them, and sometimes that's that they don't necessarily come back because they are then equipped with the tools they need to go back and adjust their parenting.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Is what I'm hearing you say.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and sometimes, and not like in a bad way, like it's a good way. No, that's fantastic. I would say in the last two months, all my clients right now that I'm working with one-on-one are returning clients. I just had a client, you know, respond to me and was like, so my child was three and now they're seven, you know. So it's really amazing that they're coming back, that they're remembering me, and that they're saying, look, you were really helpful when my child was three, and we're at a different level right now at seven, and that they can come back, that there's no barriers there. And if there is a barrier, we try to work it out. That's why I have my Facebook groups, that's why I have different options. My parent courses start as low as $17 because I don't want there to be a barrier to access to information that is effective and to the point. I try to keep it quick and simple because no one has time to read a book. No one has time to research and figure things out. They just want to know what the answers are, and I provide that for families at whatever way that they're able to they want to take information in or they're able to afford.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And so originally did you start with the one-on-one coaching?
SPEAKER_01I did.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So you started on the one-on-one. Now you have courses and you also do corporate workshops and live events. When did you realize that this was going to become bigger than the one-on-one?
SPEAKER_01You know, it's just really about working with business coaches that actually help me to see that there's something different. When you work in healthcare, your lens is a little different. And a lot of people that work in corporate versus being entrepreneurs may be able to relate to this because you're kind of stuck in that thought process that this is the way that it is. We trade money for time, vice versa. And what does scaling your business look like? And what are the different options versus just taking the one path that is what I know, right? And then we just trade time for money and knowledge. And there's actually other ways to reach people, other ways to support people. And with the corporate piece as well, you know, it was a parent that was coming to me that's saying, you know what, my staff would love to hear this information. So it's modifying that information and bringing that to an adult lens and supporting everybody's mental health, supporting everybody's coping and emotional regulation. And it's really cool that I can do that different modalities and with a different audience that can eventually lead to more referrals, to more sales, and also just supporting and building capacity in a world where there's a lot of information, a lot of mixed information, and there is a yearning for people to want to make change and to feel more capable and more effective and looking inwards to do that, which is really amazing.
SPEAKER_00That's really cool. Well, you know what? Having two kids of my own, often, you know, I'm trying to navigate and help them navigate their feelings, and then off to school they go. And I find myself, oh, maybe I should be the one taking three deep breaths before I move on.
SPEAKER_01That's a really, really great point. And that is a lot of what I do as well. Uh, that's why I created my book. I quit, await I'm the mom, because in a world where we're just doing, doing, doing, or surviving versus thriving, there's a lot of pressure on us to run companies and still, you know, get the camp registration going, pick up the birthday gifts, do all the things, and we're just burnt out. And then no one really asks for help. So it just perpetuates that stress level, the cortisol levels are through the roof. We're stressing out over all the things, and then your child is having a meltdown because the sky is blue and our heads pop off. And really, it's it's trying to find that balance that we're saying, okay, what are my triggers? What is that balance? Am I overdoing it? Do I know how to say no? Do I know how to co-regulate with my child or ask my partner, you know, for a plan and to tag team? Or if you're solo parenting, that you have those people around you that you can, you know, call and say, I need a timeout here myself, I need to tag team with someone here, um, and just building on your skill level and being aware of the emotions that come up in you, like fear, overwhelm, hopelessness, how that affects you, and then how you respond and whether that cycle is helpful or unhelpful. So those are some of the pieces that I help parents with as well.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And which do you follow yourself when you're doing you have kids as your own of your own, correct? I do, yeah. Yeah. And then you're so you're working for in the private practice, and then as well as you're having your own business with several different avenues happening.
SPEAKER_01Yes, many different avenues. Yes. Yeah. So how do I respond to my own emotion? Is that the question?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like how do you how are you juggling it all and managing your own emotions throughout it?
SPEAKER_01I know, right? I mean, I think it's a balance. Some days I'm doing amazing and other days not so much, but I think it's stepping back and being aware, um, catching myself when I'm getting into that negativity mode, um, doing things that kind of fill my cup. And, you know, I go kind of like with the love languages. If you think about like quality time, I love, you know, physical touch. So I, you know, a cuddle, a hug, holding hands with my husband when we're doing something, you know, going for a walk, quality time, like it just fills my cup. And I have really good friends, I work out three days a week. Um, I try to take my foot off the gas because that's what I say to parents, right? And notice I've gone to therapy in the past, and just noticing when those things come up. And now my children are older as well, but it's a different level of stress when you're thinking about their future, about them going away, about their resiliency. So I've just been building and scaffolding, and I think some people have a lower distress tolerance than others. Some people also have just had more stuff going on, or they may also be neurodivergent or have anxiety or, you know, learning disabilities or whatever that is, that just piles on. So for myself, this is what I've done, but for the person listening, they may have to look at their life a little different. They may need more of a better plan or just more people to support them through this journey, but we can all get there. I think it's just giving yourself some grace.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And for you, what I hear you saying is filling your bucket to love languages, yes, quality time, and also pausing in between.
SPEAKER_01Lots of pausing in a world where we can quickly get agitated, you know, we can quickly, and as a sports parent, most both my kids, uh, my daughter, you know, plays for university volleyball, my son is in uh Premier Baseball League, and it's intense. But one of the things that we've learned through the years is you wait 24 hours before approaching the coach. And usually by 24 hours, things have settled, you know, and there's a lot of injustice in the world, especially in sports, right? So learning to kind of tolerate those things, to pause versus just, you know, going on a tangent, texting someone or calling someone or you know, commenting on a Facebook post. Let's just step away for a minute. We're in a motion mind. We need to switch into wise mind, and wise mind is not here. We are in emotion mind. We need to walk away. We need to process it. I process by talking, and other people process by thinking about it and needing some time to digest. And that's where sometimes you need support to work through those things and understand because that's like a learned skill. And a lot of us growing up, that wasn't something that we were taught to do. So that's another great shift that I'm seeing in parenting in children and teenagers this day and age, where their uh capacity to communicate, to deal with their own emotions is amazing, but it does come from the parent.
SPEAKER_00Yep. And what I hear you saying is that it's practice, it's practice, and I I love that whether it's in sports or even you get an email or you get a phone call and you're not happy with how it goes. Wait 24 hours, let the emotion slide off, wait for logical brain to enter the scene.
SPEAKER_01Right, exactly. It's true, it's true, yeah.
SPEAKER_00All right, shifting gears a little. We had a good conversation before about networking and networking events. You had talked about the importance of knowing your introduction when you walk into the networking room.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Why does this matter so much to you?
SPEAKER_01Because people remember me, because I keep it short and sweet, and it's not vague. You know, sometimes I'll meet someone. So what do you do? And there's a pause, and they're not quite sure. And then I'm like, I right remember their face or their name, but I'm like, I can't actually refer anybody to them because I'm not quite sure what they do, right? So I am that's why I also really talk about that ADHD, anxiety, and strong-willed lens, as, and as well as teenagers. In the parenting world, there is so much noise, especially with the littles, potty training, sleep training, toddler tantrums. Then after five, the lens looks a little bit different, and then people are a little bit stuck, or they're wanting to put their child into therapy or behavior therapy or seeing, which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but not always the best approach. But that is usually what's at the forefront. So when I am presenting, I want to help a parent hear me or a colleague hear me, see me, and say, hey, I like what you have to say, or I heard ADHD, or I heard anxiety, or I heard that, yeah, parenting is hard, and I'm here, you know, I there is there's no manual, but I'm the best, next best thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Can you tell us what your 30-second oh my goodness introduction is? You are I'm putting you on the spot.
SPEAKER_01What do I say? Well, I think it switches it up. Yeah, so I'm Michelle, mom the manager. I'm a parenting coach and a child life specialist. I've worked in pediatric medical and mental health for over two decades, and I specialize in parenting strong-willed children, anxiety, ADHD, and parenting teens. Children do not come with a manual, and I'm here to support your journey. You can't change your child, but you can change how you respond.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I love it. Well, I have heard it a few times at networking events. We actually met at a networking event. And uh the one that we had gone to was by Mingle and Marvel. And they won just for the listeners, and at the beginning, everyone usually does their short intro. And uh yours was very remarkable because I did I did come to you towards the end and did follow through with getting some parenting advice.
SPEAKER_01Yes, you did. I know. So I think that piece is like validating for me too, and it's quick. And, you know, I try to be also vocal, like, you know, like here I am, and I'm approachable and I'm, you know, and I know I'm confident, I know what I'm talking about. And sometimes that can be hard too when you're first starting out to really know. And the advice that I've gotten through the years is to really drill it down because if it's too vague, like I'm a parenting coach, okay, great. But when I'm like, I deal with anxiety, that strong willed child, you know, that cries because the sky is blue and nothing seems to work. That's the stuff that parents are like, oh, or it's even just someone to be like, tell me more. I have clients like that I can refer you to. Tell me more about what you do. And I also like to share my two decades of experience because. This is not just something that I've done over the weekend. You know, it's not a certificate, which I'm not putting down, but it's just a different level of experience and a different level of where I can support parents. And when I've worked with clients, I work with a lot of clients that are nurses, psychotherapists, like psychiatry, teachers. And I am right to the point. I get it because I have seen it all. I've been in the trenches. And parents are like, they trust me right away. They feel validated right away. And that's what I try to do in my networking 32nd, where it's like, I want you to come and see me and ask more questions.
SPEAKER_00No, I mean, I think it's fantastic because I do think that there are quite a number of coaches out there. And you are not just a coach, you have incredible education. You have the experience with your own kids as well as over two decades of experience, the child life specialist designation as well. So, and I mean, in your introduction, your quick introduction, you give all that to the point. Yeah. So then anyone going to networking events, it's be concise, project your voice, be confident to the point.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. As as niche as possible.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Oh, wonderful. If you were starting Mom the Manager from scratch tomorrow, what would you do differently?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I would be less cautious. I am, I've got an anxious personality. I, you know, like I was not brought up in an entrepreneurial household. So to write my book was a big step to invest in myself, to put myself out there was very, very slow. I would like dip and dip and dip my toe in, you know, and and I also did not have systems put in place and not a consistent structure. So when I did things, it wasn't consistent enough. And I feel like I just needed to fail fast quicker, take bigger steps and be more consistent with my message and putting information out there. Still something I'm working on, but at least I'm aware of it. And also systems of change, too, right? Because when I was starting out, it was about launching, it was about filling your Facebook group, it was about, you know, getting people to like you. So tons of free lead magnets and getting them to trust you and maybe eventually. So, like, not to say that those things aren't valid in some ways, but shifting to say, what is best for me? How do I put this forward? And how can people get a hold of me versus messaging me on Facebook and then I'm trying to organize myself and figure out, you know, who's messaging me, how to get the information. Uh, so I think I just would have done things quicker, more efficient, and hired probably someone to help me with that process quicker.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And I mean, you have so many different avenues that people can contact you, booking the one-on-one, the corporate events, the courses, the book. Do you have one that you're focusing on right now for going forward? Or focusing on like that's what you want to focus on for to have people come. Like you want people to come and sign up for the one-on-one, or you're more pushing for people to sign up for the courses, or where to where do you see the business going?
SPEAKER_01I mean, that's a great question. And also, I think what I was doing was I was focusing more on one-on-ones, and then I switched more to like see about passive income. And I was, as I was doing that, the one-on-ones was still flowing in, you know, like so. I think what I've learned is to approach the um keep the one-on-one there, put it out there to people that it is an option. For me, this is a no-brainer to work with someone, and I've created some packages around that as well. So you can see me one-on-one or you can have this package and I offer this, this, and this, right? So offering people different ways to reach out to me. And then with the, with the the you know, this the courses, that I'm just my approach is different, and I'm starting off with lower ticket, so there's less confusion around what do I pick, how do I pick that, and why would I pick this course versus that course and just putting that out there more. So I am stressing more on my passive income because that's where I'm needing to put more work in because the one-on-one flows to me easily.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, thanks for sharing that with us. Well, and I can say from my own experience, I had booked a one-on-one with Michelle back this past fall, and it was incredible insight and you know, just things I hadn't quite thought about. And I'm someone who I think between the ages of when the first one was born and the other one was four, had read a million parenting books and Googled too many things and read too many things on Facebook and listened to too many podcasts, and the advice that you had given was better than all of that put together.
SPEAKER_01So Well, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Yeah. You put all the strategies into place. Um, so yeah, I'm I'm happy to hear that.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I mean, I just want to add one more tidbit. I think we had been talking before, and you were saying what prevents a lot of parents from coming to reach out to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, and I I think a lot of it is is shame. And um, I actually remember one um message from a psychologist, and they reached out to me and I validated, you know, that this is tough. And they were like, yep, and that I should have known better because I'm a psychologist, you know, and that shame is there, and when it's right in front of you, it can feel really hard. And to say, you know, having that self-blame, um, to be like, did I screw my kid up? Did I do something wrong? Did I create this? And now I've got to go and tell somebody what I've done, versus I'll just keep chasing answers here. I'll look things up on the internet, um, and then you just feel like you're spinning. So that's why I created my courses as well, because you can get a quick intro to what is possible. You can read one of my blog posts, you can come into my Facebook group and put questions out there as well and get some kind of information. But that asking for help is not a bad thing, but there is a lot of shame put into it for parents, especially in this day and age where there's so much access to information that I should know better and what is going on with this kid, and I'm just feeling frustrated.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So when you're putting out all of your different marketing, whether you're putting on an ad or even just an Instagram post or you're going live in your stories, I guess that probably rings in the back of your head all the time. Then how do I destigmatise this for parents or make them feel seen? And uh Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Even just with sharing my own stories as you know, as a parent, that just because I'm a parenting coach, it does not mean that I have everything figured out. I had a conversation a few months ago with my son's math teacher. And um, you know, I kind of validated the struggle, a little bit of a struggle we were having. And I said, Look, I'm a parenting coach. So, and you know, the teacher was like, Yeah, I noticed that. And I'm like feeling a little bit of shame right here. She judging me, like, is she thinking, well, if you're a parenting coach, you're failing at this, you know? And also just being able to step away from that and say, you know what? Like, I know that I'm on the right path. You can't force the child to do certain things. I need to change my approach, and what other people think of me is none of my business. And what I was thinking maybe wasn't even accurate, right? But I am real. I try to put the information out there that life happens, and even if you do something and it doesn't feel effective, you're scaffolding and building skill. And instead of trying to figure it out on your own, message me. You know, I'm here to support you.
SPEAKER_00You're there to hold her hand. I am, yeah. Michelle, before we wrap up, what's the one thing you want every listener to walk away with today?
SPEAKER_01Change is possible. And you just take it one step at a time and you build, you scaffold that it will take longer for some children and some teenagers, but it's never too late. And you have so much power, actually, and not in a scary way, but parent coaching is quite magical because it really shifts behavior and it shifts a parent's uh feeling of being like effective, which will drive more behavior change and calm the house. It is it is quite amazing what I've seen. And in my clinical work and working in my private work, uh parent coaching is I think top-notch. Yeah, top-notch space to go.
SPEAKER_00Well, I can attest to this as well. Thank you. Michelle, how can our listeners find you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, momthemanager.ca is probably the quickest way. I am on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. I have two Facebook groups. Um, but my website has got all the information and a little, you know, if you want to connect with me, um, a little sheet that you can fill out, a little questionnaire or form or whatever you want to call it that you can you can check in with me there.
SPEAKER_00Okay, perfect. And one last question for you. What do you want to be recognized for in our community?
SPEAKER_01I want to be recognized as a change maker and the leading expert in parenting and mental health. I want people that it's that's a no-brainer, right? That Michelle knows what she's talking about. She has effective strategies, she's been in the trenches with families, and she's the go-to person. I want to be the go-to expert for families, corporations. Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Michelle. Thank you for coming on. My pleasure.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00That's the lowdown for this week. If something in this conversation landed for you, send it to one person who needs to hear it. That's how we build this. One story at a time. I'm Kasti Lohan, and we'll see you in the next episode.